How to Make Your Life Burnout-Proof | Burnout 20 Years Later, Part 2

Blank space in your calendar is a trap. Blank space in your calendar is a trap. It looks like freedom, but it's jail It looks like freedom, but it's jail It looks like freedom, but it's jail disguised as liberty. Welcome to the disguised as liberty. Welcome to the disguised as liberty. Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. I'm Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. I'm Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. I'm so glad you joined us. I hope our time so glad you joined us. I hope our time so glad you joined us. I hope our time together today helps you thrive in life together today helps you thrive in life together today helps you thrive in life and leadership. Actually, you know, I and leadership. Actually, you know, I and leadership. Actually, you know, I say that all the time. That is a mantra say that all the time. That is a mantra say that all the time. That is a mantra I embraced about 20 years ago. Why? I embraced about 20 years ago. Why? I embraced about 20 years ago. Why? Because 20 years ago this month I burned Because 20 years ago this month I burned Because 20 years ago this month I burned out. [music] And it was the deepest, out. [music] And it was the deepest, out. [music] And it was the deepest, darkest period in my life. This is darkest period in my life. This is darkest period in my life. This is actually part two actually part two actually part two of my little mini burnout series. So, in of my little mini burnout series. So, in of my little mini burnout series. So, in the last episode, episode 806, I talked the last episode, episode 806, I talked the last episode, episode 806, I talked about how I got burned out, what about how I got burned out, what about how I got burned out, what happened, [music] happened, [music] happened, [music] and some of the symptoms of burnout. So, and some of the symptoms of burnout. So, and some of the symptoms of burnout. So, if you haven't listened to that one, you if you haven't listened to that one, you if you haven't listened to that one, you can go back and listen to it. But today, can go back and listen to it. But today, can go back and listen to it. But today, in this episode, I want to focus on how in this episode, I want to focus on how in this episode, I want to focus on how to recover from burnout. Because, thank to recover from burnout. Because, thank to recover from burnout. Because, thank God, it's been two decades and I have God, it's been two decades and I have God, it's been two decades and I have not burned out. [music] I rebuilt my not burned out. [music] I rebuilt my not burned out. [music] I rebuilt my life from scratch with all new rhythms, life from scratch with all new rhythms, life from scratch with all new rhythms, all new patterns, and have had the real all new patterns, and have had the real all new patterns, and have had the real privilege of being able to help leaders privilege of being able to help leaders privilege of being able to help leaders around the world figure out how to get around the world figure out how to get around the world figure out how to get out and stay out of burnout. So, this is out and stay out of burnout. So, this is out and stay out of burnout. So, this is part two. part two. part two. If what I'm sharing with you in this If what I'm sharing with you in this If what I'm sharing with you in this episode resonates with you, here's what episode resonates with you, here's what episode resonates with you, here's what I'd love to do. I wrote a book about I'd love to do. I wrote a book about I'd love to do. I wrote a book about this. It's called At Your Best, and I'm this. It's called At Your Best, and I'm this. It's called At Your Best, and I'm giving away a free copy to 20 listeners.

giving away a free copy to 20 listeners. giving away a free copy to 20 listeners. So, to enter the giveaway, here's what So, to enter the giveaway, here's what So, to enter the giveaway, here's what you can do. Visit you can do. Visit you can do. Visit careynieuwhof.com/giveaway careynieuwhof.com/giveaway careynieuwhof.com/giveaway by June 7th. Just click the link in the by June 7th. Just click the link in the by June 7th. Just click the link in the bio to get you there really quick. It's bio to get you there really quick. It's bio to get you there really quick. It's careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. Love to give away 20 Love to give away 20 Love to give away 20 copies of my book At Your Best. So, just copies of my book At Your Best. So, just copies of my book At Your Best. So, just go to careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. go to careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. go to careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. Welcome to all of you who are watching, Welcome to all of you who are watching, Welcome to all of you who are watching, listening for the first time. You know listening for the first time. You know listening for the first time. You know what I love about this show, and I run what I love about this show, and I run what I love about this show, and I run in this all the time when I'm on the in this all the time when I'm on the in this all the time when I'm on the road. So many of you are younger road. So many of you are younger road. So many of you are younger leaders. You are me or younger when I leaders. You are me or younger when I leaders. You are me or younger when I burned out. And if I can save you, if I burned out. And if I can save you, if I burned out. And if I can save you, if I can give you the cheat code, if I can can give you the cheat code, if I can can give you the cheat code, if I can save you from so much of the casualties save you from so much of the casualties save you from so much of the casualties of leadership, I'm going to be so much of leadership, I'm going to be so much of leadership, I'm going to be so much happier. So, I want to do a brief recap happier. So, I want to do a brief recap happier. So, I want to do a brief recap of part one, where I talked about me of part one, where I talked about me of part one, where I talked about me being almost roadkill in ministry in being almost roadkill in ministry in being almost roadkill in ministry in 2006, 20 years ago. And in that episode, 2006, 20 years ago. And in that episode, 2006, 20 years ago. And in that episode, I talked about how burnout happens, what I talked about how burnout happens, what I talked about how burnout happens, what you can learn from it. So, today we're you can learn from it. So, today we're you can learn from it. So, today we're going to go deeper and to how to recover going to go deeper and to how to recover going to go deeper and to how to recover from burnout and prevent it. And if from burnout and prevent it. And if from burnout and prevent it. And if you've never burned out, you've never burned out, you've never burned out, I don't believe you have to. So, let's I don't believe you have to. So, let's I don't believe you have to. So, let's do a quick recap of the last episode, do a quick recap of the last episode, do a quick recap of the last episode, just in case, you know, it's been a just in case, you know, it's been a just in case, you know, it's been a couple of days or you haven't listened couple of days or you haven't listened couple of days or you haven't listened to them back to back. It was 20 years to them back to back. It was 20 years to them back to back. It was 20 years ago this month that I was almost ago this month that I was almost ago this month that I was almost ministry roadkill. I had 11 years in ministry roadkill. I had 11 years in ministry roadkill. I had 11 years in ministry as a senior pastor at that ministry as a senior pastor at that ministry as a senior pastor at that point. It was 11 years of 30% plus point. It was 11 years of 30% plus point. It was 11 years of 30% plus annual compound growth.

annual compound growth. annual compound growth. And that was really difficult. It was And that was really difficult. It was And that was really difficult. It was wonderful, it was exhilarating, it was wonderful, it was exhilarating, it was wonderful, it was exhilarating, it was thrilling, and in the end, it almost thrilling, and in the end, it almost thrilling, and in the end, it almost took me out. I denied that I was going took me out. I denied that I was going took me out. I denied that I was going to burn out, but I didn't have a good to burn out, but I didn't have a good to burn out, but I didn't have a good formula for growth. My formula was more formula for growth. My formula was more formula for growth. My formula was more people equals more hours, and that people equals more hours, and that people equals more hours, and that doesn't scale. And I was exhausted, and doesn't scale. And I was exhausted, and doesn't scale. And I was exhausted, and my marriage was hanging on by a thread. my marriage was hanging on by a thread. my marriage was hanging on by a thread. And what I learned, and I unpacked this And what I learned, and I unpacked this And what I learned, and I unpacked this in the previous episode, is that I was in the previous episode, is that I was in the previous episode, is that I was being rewarded for my dysfunction. That being rewarded for my dysfunction. That being rewarded for my dysfunction. That the more dysfunctional I got, the more the more dysfunctional I got, the more the more dysfunctional I got, the more the the church seemed to grow, and I the the church seemed to grow, and I the the church seemed to grow, and I couldn't understand that. It's like, couldn't understand that. It's like, couldn't understand that. It's like, yeah, it's not going well at home. I yeah, it's not going well at home. I yeah, it's not going well at home. I don't feel good inside. I'm probably don't feel good inside. I'm probably don't feel good inside. I'm probably never going to burn out, because I'm a never going to burn out, because I'm a never going to burn out, because I'm a stronger than that. But like, the church stronger than that. But like, the church stronger than that. But like, the church kept growing, so I just kept doing what kept growing, so I just kept doing what kept growing, so I just kept doing what was a bad and unsustainable formula. So, was a bad and unsustainable formula. So, was a bad and unsustainable formula. So, again, that's in the last episode. again, that's in the last episode. again, that's in the last episode. Things were not good on the inside and Things were not good on the inside and Things were not good on the inside and not good at home, but I could perform. not good at home, but I could perform. not good at home, but I could perform. And workaholism buried my pain. It got And workaholism buried my pain. It got And workaholism buried my pain. It got me a raise, it got me a promotion. So, I me a raise, it got me a promotion. So, I me a raise, it got me a promotion. So, I was confused. Why would God bless me in was confused. Why would God bless me in was confused. Why would God bless me in ministry? Things have to be okay.

ministry? Things have to be okay. ministry? Things have to be okay. But then in May 2006, I fell off a But then in May 2006, I fell off a But then in May 2006, I fell off a cliff. I explained exactly how that cliff. I explained exactly how that cliff. I explained exactly how that happened. By August, it got so dark I happened. By August, it got so dark I happened. By August, it got so dark I had suicidal ideation. Had a few had suicidal ideation. Had a few had suicidal ideation. Had a few flickers of light come in September that flickers of light come in September that flickers of light come in September that year. So, we're 4 or 5 months into year. So, we're 4 or 5 months into year. So, we're 4 or 5 months into burnout, I begin to see the light at the burnout, I begin to see the light at the burnout, I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. end of the tunnel. end of the tunnel. And muscle memory got me through to And muscle memory got me through to And muscle memory got me through to December. December. December. But that season became a hinge point in But that season became a hinge point in But that season became a hinge point in my life. I look at my life now, 20 years my life. I look at my life now, 20 years my life. I look at my life now, 20 years later, as pre-burnout and post-burnout. later, as pre-burnout and post-burnout. later, as pre-burnout and post-burnout. And people even today talk about the old And people even today talk about the old And people even today talk about the old Carey and the new Carey. I actually Carey and the new Carey. I actually Carey and the new Carey. I actually redid a psychological profile with a redid a psychological profile with a redid a psychological profile with a counselor I've been working with. And counselor I've been working with. And counselor I've been working with. And the good news is the trajectory the good news is the trajectory the good news is the trajectory continues. He did a deep analysis of me. continues. He did a deep analysis of me. continues. He did a deep analysis of me. Apparently, I'm healthier even than I Apparently, I'm healthier even than I Apparently, I'm healthier even than I was 5 years ago. So, I'm really grateful was 5 years ago. So, I'm really grateful was 5 years ago. So, I'm really grateful for this. And this is why I'm sharing for this. And this is why I'm sharing for this. And this is why I'm sharing it. I want this it. I want this it. I want this for you. for you. for you. I want this for you because I don't want I want this for you because I don't want I want this for you because I don't want you to have to go through what I went you to have to go through what I went you to have to go through what I went through and what so many leaders go through and what so many leaders go through and what so many leaders go through. So, quick recap of the five through. So, quick recap of the five through. So, quick recap of the five lessons we covered last time. Number lessons we covered last time. Number lessons we covered last time. Number one, dysfunction gets rewarded in the one, dysfunction gets rewarded in the one, dysfunction gets rewarded in the church. You can keep performing and your church. You can keep performing and your church. You can keep performing and your church might keep growing, but here's church might keep growing, but here's church might keep growing, but here's what I believe now. If you're winning at what I believe now. If you're winning at what I believe now. If you're winning at work, but if you're losing at home, work, but if you're losing at home, work, but if you're losing at home, you're losing. Second thing I learned, you're losing. Second thing I learned, you're losing. Second thing I learned, denial is an accelerator. I went through denial is an accelerator. I went through denial is an accelerator. I went through the symptoms of burnout last time, not the symptoms of burnout last time, not the symptoms of burnout last time, not going to go through those again, but if going to go through those again, but if going to go through those again, but if you're denying it, going, "Am I really you're denying it, going, "Am I really you're denying it, going, "Am I really in burnout? I don't think so." Um in burnout? I don't think so." Um in burnout? I don't think so." Um it is much easier it is much easier it is much easier for you just to say, "You know what? I for you just to say, "You know what? I for you just to say, "You know what? I think I'm burning out. I'm going to get think I'm burning out. I'm going to get think I'm burning out. I'm going to get some help." And I'm going to go deep on

some help." And I'm going to go deep on some help." And I'm going to go deep on this one. That's good. Don't keep this one. That's good. Don't keep this one. That's good. Don't keep denying. If you're burning out, don't denying. If you're burning out, don't denying. If you're burning out, don't keep denying cuz denial is an keep denying cuz denial is an keep denying cuz denial is an accelerator. It's just going to get you accelerator. It's just going to get you accelerator. It's just going to get you to burn out faster. Third lesson was to burn out faster. Third lesson was to burn out faster. Third lesson was it's easier to find relief from the pace it's easier to find relief from the pace it's easier to find relief from the pace than the weight. Leadership can be than the weight. Leadership can be than the weight. Leadership can be heavy. And yes, Jesus will lift some of heavy. And yes, Jesus will lift some of heavy. And yes, Jesus will lift some of that, but the weight is always going to that, but the weight is always going to that, but the weight is always going to be with you. So, what you need to do is be with you. So, what you need to do is be with you. So, what you need to do is find a sustainable pace. Uh you can find a sustainable pace. Uh you can find a sustainable pace. Uh you can control your pace. You have to learn how control your pace. You have to learn how control your pace. You have to learn how to carry your weight. I went through to carry your weight. I went through to carry your weight. I went through some ideas on how you can do that. some ideas on how you can do that. some ideas on how you can do that. Fourth thing we covered is that ministry Fourth thing we covered is that ministry Fourth thing we covered is that ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. They is a series of ungrieved losses. They is a series of ungrieved losses. They just stack up. People leaving your just stack up. People leaving your just stack up. People leaving your church, friendships that dissolve, church, friendships that dissolve, church, friendships that dissolve, things that don't quite work out. And things that don't quite work out. And things that don't quite work out. And for me, they all came out at once in the for me, they all came out at once in the for me, they all came out at once in the month of August 2006. You want to grieve month of August 2006. You want to grieve month of August 2006. You want to grieve your losses in real time. And then your losses in real time. And then your losses in real time. And then finally, by way of recap, if God wants finally, by way of recap, if God wants finally, by way of recap, if God wants to go deep, it's because he wants to to go deep, it's because he wants to to go deep, it's because he wants to take you far. It took me a full 3 to 5 take you far. It took me a full 3 to 5 take you far. It took me a full 3 to 5 years to recover from the depth of the years to recover from the depth of the years to recover from the depth of the burnout. What I'm grateful for now is I burnout. What I'm grateful for now is I burnout. What I'm grateful for now is I know that I was building a much more know that I was building a much more know that I was building a much more solid foundation. And two decades later, solid foundation. And two decades later, solid foundation. And two decades later, I haven't burned out. So, if you're in a I haven't burned out. So, if you're in a I haven't burned out. So, if you're in a tough season right now, don't try to cut tough season right now, don't try to cut tough season right now, don't try to cut it short. Go deep. Go to the root. Get it short. Go deep. Go to the root. Get it short. Go deep. Go to the root. Get the help you need. You'll come up a the help you need. You'll come up a the help you need. You'll come up a healthier you. So, today, I want to healthier you. So, today, I want to healthier you. So, today, I want to switch focuses, and I want to focus on switch focuses, and I want to focus on switch focuses, and I want to focus on recovery and prevention. Really, the recovery and prevention. Really, the recovery and prevention. Really, the question how do you get out and stay out question how do you get out and stay out question how do you get out and stay out of burnout? So, once again, I'm not a of burnout? So, once again, I'm not a of burnout? So, once again, I'm not a psychologist. I shared that with you in psychologist. I shared that with you in psychologist. I shared that with you in the last episode. I have logged some the last episode. I have logged some the last episode. I have logged some miles in this field though, and I am miles in this field though, and I am miles in this field though, and I am sharing out of my experience. And I want sharing out of my experience. And I want sharing out of my experience. And I want to reflect on how to make your life to reflect on how to make your life to reflect on how to make your life burnout-proof, or at least as

burnout-proof, or at least as burnout-proof, or at least as burnout-proof as far as it depends on burnout-proof as far as it depends on burnout-proof as far as it depends on you. So, this has worked for 20 years. you. So, this has worked for 20 years. you. So, this has worked for 20 years. So, first principle is you don't need to So, first principle is you don't need to So, first principle is you don't need to get back to normal, you need a new get back to normal, you need a new get back to normal, you need a new normal. normal. normal. What I realized when I was burned out is What I realized when I was burned out is What I realized when I was burned out is I was so desperate. There was a I was so desperate. There was a I was so desperate. There was a counseling session I went to in the counseling session I went to in the counseling session I went to in the summer of 2006, and it was around the summer of 2006, and it was around the summer of 2006, and it was around the time where I starting to find find time where I starting to find find time where I starting to find find myself suicidal, which I talked about in myself suicidal, which I talked about in myself suicidal, which I talked about in the last episode. the last episode. the last episode. And I said to my counselor, "What what And I said to my counselor, "What what And I said to my counselor, "What what is going on?" And I I'll never forget, is going on?" And I I'll never forget, is going on?" And I I'll never forget, he said to me, "Carey, you're going to he said to me, "Carey, you're going to he said to me, "Carey, you're going to get through this." get through this." get through this." He said, "But I want you to remember He said, "But I want you to remember He said, "But I want you to remember this because there's a lot of people who this because there's a lot of people who this because there's a lot of people who live in a very dark place, and you'll be live in a very dark place, and you'll be live in a very dark place, and you'll be able to help them when you get through able to help them when you get through able to help them when you get through this." He had done what he called this." He had done what he called this." He had done what he called deconstruction therapy, and I'm like, deconstruction therapy, and I'm like, deconstruction therapy, and I'm like, "Can we please get to the reconstruction "Can we please get to the reconstruction "Can we please get to the reconstruction therapy now cuz I feel terrible? Like therapy now cuz I feel terrible? Like therapy now cuz I feel terrible? Like I'm totally burned out. I'm flat. I'm I'm totally burned out. I'm flat. I'm I'm totally burned out. I'm flat. I'm dead inside." dead inside." dead inside." And what took place, and I went through And what took place, and I went through And what took place, and I went through him and a couple of other counselors, him and a couple of other counselors, him and a couple of other counselors, and I read books, and I listened to and I read books, and I listened to and I read books, and I listened to podcasts and I thought, "Okay, if I go podcasts and I thought, "Okay, if I go podcasts and I thought, "Okay, if I go back to normal quickly cuz that's all back to normal quickly cuz that's all back to normal quickly cuz that's all you want when you hurt."

you want when you hurt." you want when you hurt." Normal got me burned out. Normal, it Normal got me burned out. Normal, it Normal got me burned out. Normal, it took 40 years, I got burned out. Maybe took 40 years, I got burned out. Maybe took 40 years, I got burned out. Maybe it's going to be 6 months till I burn it's going to be 6 months till I burn it's going to be 6 months till I burn out. Maybe a year, maybe 5 years. I did out. Maybe a year, maybe 5 years. I did out. Maybe a year, maybe 5 years. I did not want to do that and I realized that not want to do that and I realized that not want to do that and I realized that the foundation on which the house of me the foundation on which the house of me the foundation on which the house of me that had been built was built on was that had been built was built on was that had been built was built on was faulty. That there were beliefs and faulty. That there were beliefs and faulty. That there were beliefs and attitudes, I was a performance addict. attitudes, I was a performance addict. attitudes, I was a performance addict. Uh I thought that my identity was Uh I thought that my identity was Uh I thought that my identity was somehow tied to growth. The more we somehow tied to growth. The more we somehow tied to growth. The more we grew, the better I was as a person. grew, the better I was as a person. grew, the better I was as a person. And so I really did the soul work. And And so I really did the soul work. And And so I really did the soul work. And then I listened to a lot of podcasts. then I listened to a lot of podcasts. then I listened to a lot of podcasts. Podcasts were coming out at the time, Podcasts were coming out at the time, Podcasts were coming out at the time, read a lot of books and tried to figure read a lot of books and tried to figure read a lot of books and tried to figure out how do I get a sustainable pace. And out how do I get a sustainable pace. And out how do I get a sustainable pace. And so what I worked on literally for 3 to 5 so what I worked on literally for 3 to 5 so what I worked on literally for 3 to 5 years years years was finding a new normal. What would was finding a new normal. What would was finding a new normal. What would that look like? And that's that tagline that look like? And that's that tagline that look like? And that's that tagline that I say at the beginning of every that I say at the beginning of every that I say at the beginning of every episode, "Live in a way today that will episode, "Live in a way today that will episode, "Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow." help you thrive tomorrow." help you thrive tomorrow." And And And I realized that the way I was living was I realized that the way I was living was I realized that the way I was living was not a sustainable pace. The way I was not a sustainable pace. The way I was not a sustainable pace. The way I was handling problems and developing leaders handling problems and developing leaders handling problems and developing leaders was not sustainable. So this new normal, was not sustainable. So this new normal, was not sustainable. So this new normal, "Live in a way today." And that means "Live in a way today." And that means "Live in a way today." And that means today. So when I did this podcast, I got today. So when I did this podcast, I got today. So when I did this podcast, I got We were out late with friends last We were out late with friends last We were out late with friends last night. Don't normally do that, but you night. Don't normally do that, but you night. Don't normally do that, but you can have exceptions to your rule. Slept can have exceptions to your rule. Slept can have exceptions to your rule. Slept in a little bit later today. I like to in a little bit later today. I like to in a little bit later today. I like to get up before 6:00. I slept in till get up before 6:00. I slept in till get up before 6:00. I slept in till almost 7:00 because I knew I was going almost 7:00 because I knew I was going almost 7:00 because I knew I was going to be delivering these podcasts and I to be delivering these podcasts and I to be delivering these podcasts and I wanted to be fresh for you.

wanted to be fresh for you. wanted to be fresh for you. Means I'm going to not go out tonight. Means I'm going to not go out tonight. Means I'm going to not go out tonight. I'm going to get some proper sleep. It I'm going to get some proper sleep. It I'm going to get some proper sleep. It means I do everything from scheduling my means I do everything from scheduling my means I do everything from scheduling my flights so that they're not red eyes to flights so that they're not red eyes to flights so that they're not red eyes to making sure that I get some exercise making sure that I get some exercise making sure that I get some exercise three, four, five times a week to making three, four, five times a week to making three, four, five times a week to making sure that I'm eating properly, to make sure that I'm eating properly, to make sure that I'm eating properly, to make sure that I've got a close the laptop sure that I've got a close the laptop sure that I've got a close the laptop routine as Cal Newport says so that I'm routine as Cal Newport says so that I'm routine as Cal Newport says so that I'm not a workaholic, so that my workload is not a workaholic, so that my workload is not a workaholic, so that my workload is manageable. And what's really strange manageable. And what's really strange manageable. And what's really strange about this new normal about this new normal about this new normal is and I've shared it in at your best. is and I've shared it in at your best. is and I've shared it in at your best. So, if you haven't seen my book at your So, if you haven't seen my book at your So, if you haven't seen my book at your best, you can pick up a copy or again, best, you can pick up a copy or again, best, you can pick up a copy or again, fill out the form at fill out the form at fill out the form at careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. careynieuwhof.com/giveaway. We're giving away 20 copies of it, but We're giving away 20 copies of it, but We're giving away 20 copies of it, but it's available on Amazon, Barnes & it's available on Amazon, Barnes & it's available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, wherever you get your books. Noble, wherever you get your books. Noble, wherever you get your books. I outlined the whole system to get I outlined the whole system to get I outlined the whole system to get healthy, healthy, healthy, but it boils down to today, I really but it boils down to today, I really but it boils down to today, I really can't cheat. And if I have a night like can't cheat. And if I have a night like can't cheat. And if I have a night like last night where we were out with last night where we were out with last night where we were out with friends in the middle of the week, I've friends in the middle of the week, I've friends in the middle of the week, I've got to recover. I got to live in a way got to recover. I got to live in a way got to recover. I got to live in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow. today that will help me thrive tomorrow. today that will help me thrive tomorrow. That has worked for 20 years and it can That has worked for 20 years and it can That has worked for 20 years and it can work for you. So, that's the first work for you. So, that's the first work for you. So, that's the first principle in recovery is you got to find principle in recovery is you got to find principle in recovery is you got to find a new normal because if normal got you a new normal because if normal got you a new normal because if normal got you broken and sick and burned out, you broken and sick and burned out, you broken and sick and burned out, you can't go back to normal or you're just can't go back to normal or you're just can't go back to normal or you're just going to do it again. So, you got to going to do it again. So, you got to going to do it again. So, you got to find a new normal. Got the whole system find a new normal. Got the whole system find a new normal. Got the whole system inside the book at your best. Second inside the book at your best. Second inside the book at your best. Second thing is time off won't heal you when thing is time off won't heal you when thing is time off won't heal you when the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time on.

on. on. I talk to leaders all the time who are I talk to leaders all the time who are I talk to leaders all the time who are like, well, I know Carrie, it's a really like, well, I know Carrie, it's a really like, well, I know Carrie, it's a really busy season right now, but you know, I busy season right now, but you know, I busy season right now, but you know, I just got to get to vacation. I just got just got to get to vacation. I just got just got to get to vacation. I just got to get to the summer. It's May now, I to get to the summer. It's May now, I to get to the summer. It's May now, I got to get to July. I'm going to have got to get to July. I'm going to have got to get to July. I'm going to have July off, and have some time off. That's July off, and have some time off. That's July off, and have some time off. That's going to be amazing. Or leaders take going to be amazing. Or leaders take going to be amazing. Or leaders take sabbaticals. And I've talked to leaders sabbaticals. And I've talked to leaders sabbaticals. And I've talked to leaders who've taken six-month sabbaticals. And who've taken six-month sabbaticals. And who've taken six-month sabbaticals. And you know what? It did not solve their you know what? It did not solve their you know what? It did not solve their problem. Now, I'm a big fan of problem. Now, I'm a big fan of problem. Now, I'm a big fan of vacations. I've never taken a vacations. I've never taken a vacations. I've never taken a sabbatical. I probably will at some sabbatical. I probably will at some sabbatical. I probably will at some point, but why do I argue that vacations point, but why do I argue that vacations point, but why do I argue that vacations and sabbaticals don't work? I'll tell and sabbaticals don't work? I'll tell and sabbaticals don't work? I'll tell you why. You already know. you why. You already know. you why. You already know. You've taken, let's say, an amazing You've taken, let's say, an amazing You've taken, let's say, an amazing two-week vacation with your family. You two-week vacation with your family. You two-week vacation with your family. You come back. You're totally restored. come back. You're totally restored. come back. You're totally restored. You're ready to go. You got gas in the You're ready to go. You got gas in the You're ready to go. You got gas in the tank. You cannot wait to get back in the tank. You cannot wait to get back in the tank. You cannot wait to get back in the pulpit on Sunday, pulpit on Sunday, pulpit on Sunday, but you got five days to get there but you got five days to get there but you got five days to get there before Sunday. So, you show up on a before Sunday. So, you show up on a before Sunday. So, you show up on a Monday morning Monday morning Monday morning and by 11:00 a.m., all of your vacation and by 11:00 a.m., all of your vacation and by 11:00 a.m., all of your vacation is erased. There is so much inbound. All is erased. There is so much inbound. All is erased. There is so much inbound. All the email you missed, all the problems the email you missed, all the problems the email you missed, all the problems you have to solve, all the issues, and you have to solve, all the issues, and you have to solve, all the issues, and suddenly you're running at 100 miles an suddenly you're running at 100 miles an suddenly you're running at 100 miles an hour, hour, hour, and basically all of your vacation's and basically all of your vacation's and basically all of your vacation's been erased by 11:00 a.m. before lunch.

been erased by 11:00 a.m. before lunch. been erased by 11:00 a.m. before lunch. You feel as bad as you did before you You feel as bad as you did before you You feel as bad as you did before you went on vacation. So, what's going on went on vacation. So, what's going on went on vacation. So, what's going on there? there? there? Time off didn't heal you. Time off didn't heal you. Time off didn't heal you. Um cuz it can't. And you can't be taking Um cuz it can't. And you can't be taking Um cuz it can't. And you can't be taking time off every few months. That's why time off every few months. That's why time off every few months. That's why sabbaticals often don't work. sabbaticals often don't work. sabbaticals often don't work. You know, you take 6 months off, you go You know, you take 6 months off, you go You know, you take 6 months off, you go to this amazing place, you're so to this amazing place, you're so to this amazing place, you're so restored, and the first week back, restored, and the first week back, restored, and the first week back, erased. You're just exhausted. The erased. You're just exhausted. The erased. You're just exhausted. The problem is not your vacation, problem is not your vacation, problem is not your vacation, it's your vocation. It's the pace you it's your vocation. It's the pace you it's your vocation. It's the pace you work at week to week, 48, 52 weeks a work at week to week, 48, 52 weeks a work at week to week, 48, 52 weeks a year. You're going too fast, you're year. You're going too fast, you're year. You're going too fast, you're going too hard, you're in unsustainable going too hard, you're in unsustainable going too hard, you're in unsustainable pace. Time off won't heal you because pace. Time off won't heal you because pace. Time off won't heal you because the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time on. So, the cure for an unsustainable on. So, the cure for an unsustainable on. So, the cure for an unsustainable pace is, guess what? pace is, guess what? pace is, guess what? A sustainable pace. A sustainable pace. A sustainable pace. I'm going to show you how to do that. I'm going to show you how to do that. I'm going to show you how to do that. And again, I say a lot more about this And again, I say a lot more about this And again, I say a lot more about this in At Your Best, but I want to give you in At Your Best, but I want to give you in At Your Best, but I want to give you the highlights. First thing you need to the highlights. First thing you need to the highlights. First thing you need to do do do >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> is get three assets every day. You get >> is get three assets every day. You get >> is get three assets every day. You get time, energy, and priorities. So, the time, energy, and priorities. So, the time, energy, and priorities. So, the first thing you should do is stop saying first thing you should do is stop saying first thing you should do is stop saying you don't have the time.

you don't have the time. you don't have the time. I made this change when I was figuring I made this change when I was figuring I made this change when I was figuring out my new normal cuz I always used to out my new normal cuz I always used to out my new normal cuz I always used to say, when I was in my 30s before I say, when I was in my 30s before I say, when I was in my 30s before I burned out, church was growing at burned out, church was growing at burned out, church was growing at compound rates of 30% plus a year for 11 compound rates of 30% plus a year for 11 compound rates of 30% plus a year for 11 years. People would say, "Hey, do you years. People would say, "Hey, do you years. People would say, "Hey, do you have the time?" It's like, "I don't have have the time?" It's like, "I don't have have the time?" It's like, "I don't have the time for that. I don't have the time the time for that. I don't have the time the time for that. I don't have the time to meet with you. I don't have the time to meet with you. I don't have the time to meet with you. I don't have the time to do this. I don't have the time to get to do this. I don't have the time to get to do this. I don't have the time to get the project done. My sermon isn't done the project done. My sermon isn't done the project done. My sermon isn't done cuz I didn't have the time." cuz I didn't have the time." cuz I didn't have the time." And I realized in my recovery, And I realized in my recovery, And I realized in my recovery, I'm like, "Wow, every leader gets the I'm like, "Wow, every leader gets the I'm like, "Wow, every leader gets the same amount of time every day. If I was same amount of time every day. If I was same amount of time every day. If I was running the largest tech company in the running the largest tech company in the running the largest tech company in the world, world, world, I get 24 hours in a day." And I wasn't. I get 24 hours in a day." And I wasn't. I get 24 hours in a day." And I wasn't. I was leading a church of 800 to 1,000 I was leading a church of 800 to 1,000 I was leading a church of 800 to 1,000 people. people. people. I had the same amount of time as anybody I had the same amount of time as anybody I had the same amount of time as anybody else on planet Earth. else on planet Earth. else on planet Earth. And so, I did this hack cuz there's a And so, I did this hack cuz there's a And so, I did this hack cuz there's a lot of great time management books, but lot of great time management books, but lot of great time management books, but you can read those. What I realized is you can read those. What I realized is you can read those. What I realized is I'm not going to get more time. It is I'm not going to get more time. It is I'm not going to get more time. It is not a renewable resource. So, I made the not a renewable resource. So, I made the not a renewable resource. So, I made the switch. And the switch I made was I was switch. And the switch I made was I was switch. And the switch I made was I was going to stop saying I don't have the going to stop saying I don't have the going to stop saying I don't have the time and start admitting I didn't make time and start admitting I didn't make time and start admitting I didn't make it. it. it. So, what that meant is if my sermon was So, what that meant is if my sermon was So, what that meant is if my sermon was running late, I would just tell myself running late, I would just tell myself running late, I would just tell myself I didn't make the time for it.

I didn't make the time for it. I didn't make the time for it. And And And that's a pretty big admission, right? that's a pretty big admission, right? that's a pretty big admission, right? It's like I had 24 hours in a day. I It's like I had 24 hours in a day. I It's like I had 24 hours in a day. I misused them. And if you start doing misused them. And if you start doing misused them. And if you start doing that, that, that, um great things can start to happen um great things can start to happen um great things can start to happen because if you're on your fifth week in because if you're on your fifth week in because if you're on your fifth week in a row where you didn't have time for a row where you didn't have time for a row where you didn't have time for date night with your wife, date night with your wife, date night with your wife, that signifies you've got a deeper that signifies you've got a deeper that signifies you've got a deeper problem. And so, I started making time problem. And so, I started making time problem. And so, I started making time for date night, making time for my kids, for date night, making time for my kids, for date night, making time for my kids, making time for my friends, making time making time for my friends, making time making time for my friends, making time for my sermon writing. And for my sermon writing. And for my sermon writing. And eventually that clears a lot out cuz eventually that clears a lot out cuz eventually that clears a lot out cuz you're like, well, I'm not going to make you're like, well, I'm not going to make you're like, well, I'm not going to make time for that. So, try this little hack. time for that. So, try this little hack. time for that. So, try this little hack. Just banish the phrase Just banish the phrase Just banish the phrase I don't have the time from your I don't have the time from your I don't have the time from your vocabulary and start saying to yourself, vocabulary and start saying to yourself, vocabulary and start saying to yourself, I'm not going to make the time for that I'm not going to make the time for that I'm not going to make the time for that or I didn't make the time for that or I didn't make the time for that or I didn't make the time for that because what will happen is you'll get because what will happen is you'll get because what will happen is you'll get way better at time management. Second way better at time management. Second way better at time management. Second thing is time management, you're thing is time management, you're thing is time management, you're managing a fixed resource. You've got to managing a fixed resource. You've got to managing a fixed resource. You've got to start managing your energy, not just start managing your energy, not just start managing your energy, not just your time. This episode is brought to your time. This episode is brought to your time. This episode is brought to you by Lifestone Ministries. If you lead you by Lifestone Ministries. If you lead you by Lifestone Ministries. If you lead a church, you know how challenging it a church, you know how challenging it a church, you know how challenging it can be to find an adult Sunday school can be to find an adult Sunday school can be to find an adult Sunday school curriculum that your teachers will curriculum that your teachers will curriculum that your teachers will actually use week after week, year after actually use week after week, year after actually use week after week, year after year. I want to tell you about something year. I want to tell you about something year. I want to tell you about something that's been serving churches for over that's been serving churches for over that's been serving churches for over 120 years. It's the quarterly Bible 120 years. It's the quarterly Bible 120 years. It's the quarterly Bible curriculum from Lifestone Ministries.

curriculum from Lifestone Ministries. curriculum from Lifestone Ministries. You can find it at You can find it at You can find it at lifestoneministries.org/carry. The adult Bible class is a quarterly The adult Bible class is a quarterly verse-by-verse theologically sound verse-by-verse theologically sound verse-by-verse theologically sound resource that gives your teachers and resource that gives your teachers and resource that gives your teachers and adult students everything they need to adult students everything they need to adult students everything they need to lead with confidence every single week. lead with confidence every single week. lead with confidence every single week. And if your congregation includes And if your congregation includes And if your congregation includes readers who benefit from larger text, readers who benefit from larger text, readers who benefit from larger text, it's available in large print, too. For it's available in large print, too. For it's available in large print, too. For teachers who want to go even deeper, teachers who want to go even deeper, teachers who want to go even deeper, there's adult Bible Teacher packed with there's adult Bible Teacher packed with there's adult Bible Teacher packed with exposition, discussion questions, and exposition, discussion questions, and exposition, discussion questions, and practical lessons that really help your practical lessons that really help your practical lessons that really help your leaders get prepared. These aren't leaders get prepared. These aren't leaders get prepared. These aren't trendy resources that disappear in a trendy resources that disappear in a trendy resources that disappear in a year. They're a trusted, proven year. They're a trusted, proven year. They're a trusted, proven curriculum that more than 10,000 curriculum that more than 10,000 curriculum that more than 10,000 students, teachers, and churches rely on students, teachers, and churches rely on students, teachers, and churches rely on every single quarter. Visit every single quarter. Visit every single quarter. Visit lifestoneministries.org/carey. lifestoneministries.org/carey. lifestoneministries.org/carey. That's lifestoneministries.org/carey to order and learn more. This episode is to order and learn more. This episode is brought to you by Compassion Canada. For brought to you by Compassion Canada. For brought to you by Compassion Canada. For over 70 years, Compassion has partnered over 70 years, Compassion has partnered over 70 years, Compassion has partnered with local churches around the world to with local churches around the world to with local churches around the world to release children from poverty in Jesus' release children from poverty in Jesus' release children from poverty in Jesus' name. And the thing I love about it is name. And the thing I love about it is name. And the thing I love about it is this isn't charity at a distance. It's this isn't charity at a distance. It's this isn't charity at a distance. It's the local church getting to know a the local church getting to know a the local church getting to know a child, walking with a family, and child, walking with a family, and child, walking with a family, and transforming entire communities. If transforming entire communities. If transforming entire communities. If you're a church leader here in Canada, you're a church leader here in Canada, you're a church leader here in Canada, where I live, this is a powerful way to where I live, this is a powerful way to where I live, this is a powerful way to live out your mission beyond your walls.

live out your mission beyond your walls. live out your mission beyond your walls. My home church, Connexus, has seen that My home church, Connexus, has seen that My home church, Connexus, has seen that impact first hand. We as a church have impact first hand. We as a church have impact first hand. We as a church have sponsored over 600 children over the sponsored over 600 children over the sponsored over 600 children over the years. years. years. So have my wife, Toni and I. So So have my wife, Toni and I. So So have my wife, Toni and I. So partnering with Compassion for me is the partnering with Compassion for me is the partnering with Compassion for me is the real deal. You can visit real deal. You can visit real deal. You can visit compassion.com/carey compassion.com/carey compassion.com/carey and click the Canada link to learn more. and click the Canada link to learn more. and click the Canada link to learn more. That's compassion.com/carey. That's compassion.com/carey. That's compassion.com/carey. Click the Canada link and you'll learn Click the Canada link and you'll learn Click the Canada link and you'll learn more. Everybody talks about time more. Everybody talks about time more. Everybody talks about time management. Not enough people think management. Not enough people think management. Not enough people think about energy management. So, you already about energy management. So, you already about energy management. So, you already know the principle I'm going to teach know the principle I'm going to teach know the principle I'm going to teach you because I'm going to ask you this you because I'm going to ask you this you because I'm going to ask you this question. Would you consider yourself a question. Would you consider yourself a question. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl? I mean, morning person or a night owl? I mean, morning person or a night owl? I mean, we intuitively know that 8:00 a.m. and we intuitively know that 8:00 a.m. and we intuitively know that 8:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. do not feel the same way to to 8:00 p.m. do not feel the same way to to 8:00 p.m. do not feel the same way to to all people. Like for me, I'm a morning all people. Like for me, I'm a morning all people. Like for me, I'm a morning person. 8:00 a.m., fantastic. I'm firing person. 8:00 a.m., fantastic. I'm firing person. 8:00 a.m., fantastic. I'm firing on all cylinders. I'm ready to go. I'm on all cylinders. I'm ready to go. I'm on all cylinders. I'm ready to go. I'm excited to start the day. I have a full excited to start the day. I have a full excited to start the day. I have a full brain. I've got a full heart. I'm in a brain. I've got a full heart. I'm in a brain. I've got a full heart. I'm in a good mood. 8:00 p.m. good mood. 8:00 p.m. good mood. 8:00 p.m. Kind of dragging a little bit. If you're Kind of dragging a little bit. If you're Kind of dragging a little bit. If you're a night owl, it's the opposite. 8:00 a night owl, it's the opposite. 8:00 a night owl, it's the opposite. 8:00 a.m. It's like, who gets up at this a.m. It's like, who gets up at this a.m. It's like, who gets up at this hour? What is wrong with these people?

hour? What is wrong with these people? hour? What is wrong with these people? And 8:00 p.m. you're just getting And 8:00 p.m. you're just getting And 8:00 p.m. you're just getting started. Maybe you're just ramping up. started. Maybe you're just ramping up. started. Maybe you're just ramping up. And I talked to one guy once who said And I talked to one guy once who said And I talked to one guy once who said that his best hours are between 10:00 that his best hours are between 10:00 that his best hours are between 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. I'm like, p.m. and 3:00 a.m. I'm like, p.m. and 3:00 a.m. I'm like, good for you. I can't get anything done good for you. I can't get anything done good for you. I can't get anything done except close my eyelids and sleep except close my eyelids and sleep except close my eyelids and sleep between 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. But between 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. But between 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. But hey, if it works for you, it works for hey, if it works for you, it works for hey, if it works for you, it works for you. There's not a wrong answer. It's you. There's not a wrong answer. It's you. There's not a wrong answer. It's just your answer. And so I want you to just your answer. And so I want you to just your answer. And so I want you to think about your day in the terms of think about your day in the terms of think about your day in the terms of three zones that are marked by color, three zones that are marked by color, three zones that are marked by color, green, yellow, and red. Your green zone green, yellow, and red. Your green zone green, yellow, and red. Your green zone is when you are at your best. So for me, is when you are at your best. So for me, is when you are at your best. So for me, I'm a morning person. My green zone is I'm a morning person. My green zone is I'm a morning person. My green zone is about 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. And then about 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. And then about 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. And then sometimes I get a little burst after sometimes I get a little burst after sometimes I get a little burst after lunch. And I get pumped in my green lunch. And I get pumped in my green lunch. And I get pumped in my green zone. I'm like ready to go in the zone. I'm like ready to go in the zone. I'm like ready to go in the morning, ready to write. I've got a morning, ready to write. I've got a morning, ready to write. I've got a clear mind, clear thought. I got energy. clear mind, clear thought. I got energy. clear mind, clear thought. I got energy. I'm in a good mood. And I can pound out I'm in a good mood. And I can pound out I'm in a good mood. And I can pound out a sermon in the morning a sermon in the morning a sermon in the morning at 8:00 a.m. in a way that I can't at 8:00 a.m. in a way that I can't at 8:00 a.m. in a way that I can't possibly do it at 8:00 p.m. I mean, I possibly do it at 8:00 p.m. I mean, I possibly do it at 8:00 p.m. I mean, I can write at 8:00 p.m. It's just not can write at 8:00 p.m. It's just not can write at 8:00 p.m. It's just not going to be as good. It's going to be going to be as good. It's going to be going to be as good. It's going to be slow. It's going to be sloppy. So that's slow. It's going to be sloppy. So that's slow. It's going to be sloppy. So that's your green zone. When are you at your your green zone. When are you at your your green zone. When are you at your best? When are all the juices flowing?

best? When are all the juices flowing? best? When are all the juices flowing? When are you ready to go? And when are When are you ready to go? And when are When are you ready to go? And when are you really like at peak performance? you really like at peak performance? you really like at peak performance? That's your green zone. Usually there's That's your green zone. Usually there's That's your green zone. Usually there's three to five hours a day. That's it. three to five hours a day. That's it. three to five hours a day. That's it. The opposite is your red zone. The opposite is your red zone. The opposite is your red zone. That's a time of day when you're That's a time of day when you're That's a time of day when you're exhausted. You have two brain cells exhausted. You have two brain cells exhausted. You have two brain cells left. You're either going to fall asleep left. You're either going to fall asleep left. You're either going to fall asleep at your desk or you need a a coffee or at your desk or you need a a coffee or at your desk or you need a a coffee or you need a nap. Like for me, that's you need a nap. Like for me, that's you need a nap. Like for me, that's between 4:00 and 6:00 in the afternoon. between 4:00 and 6:00 in the afternoon. between 4:00 and 6:00 in the afternoon. When I get to 4:00, I'm kind of like, When I get to 4:00, I'm kind of like, When I get to 4:00, I'm kind of like, all right. Nothing good comes out of me. all right. Nothing good comes out of me. all right. Nothing good comes out of me. If I hold meetings in my red zone, If I hold meetings in my red zone, If I hold meetings in my red zone, people ask me, "Kerry, can we" Don't people ask me, "Kerry, can we" Don't people ask me, "Kerry, can we" Don't even ask me the question. The answer is even ask me the question. The answer is even ask me the question. The answer is no. No. No. No. How do we shut down this no. No. No. No. How do we shut down this no. No. No. No. How do we shut down this meeting quickly? That's your red zone. meeting quickly? That's your red zone. meeting quickly? That's your red zone. Now, for a lot of people it's late in Now, for a lot of people it's late in Now, for a lot of people it's late in the afternoon. I think for more people the afternoon. I think for more people the afternoon. I think for more people it happens right after lunch. You'll it happens right after lunch. You'll it happens right after lunch. You'll have a nice sandwich at lunch and you have a nice sandwich at lunch and you have a nice sandwich at lunch and you come back to your office and you want to come back to your office and you want to come back to your office and you want to fall asleep at your desk. That's your fall asleep at your desk. That's your fall asleep at your desk. That's your red zone. Usually have one or two hours red zone. Usually have one or two hours red zone. Usually have one or two hours like that in a typical day. It's not like that in a typical day. It's not like that in a typical day. It's not wrong, it's just cuz you're human and wrong, it's just cuz you're human and wrong, it's just cuz you're human and you're not a robot and you don't just you're not a robot and you don't just you're not a robot and you don't just run on the same energy all day long. run on the same energy all day long. run on the same energy all day long. Green zone, you're at your best. Red Green zone, you're at your best. Red Green zone, you're at your best. Red zone, zone, zone, the opposite, you're not at your best.

the opposite, you're not at your best. the opposite, you're not at your best. Yellow zone is everything in between. Yellow zone is everything in between. Yellow zone is everything in between. So, you might have six, seven hours in So, you might have six, seven hours in So, you might have six, seven hours in your yellow zone and you're not at your your yellow zone and you're not at your your yellow zone and you're not at your best, but you're not at your worst. Like best, but you're not at your worst. Like best, but you're not at your worst. Like those can be very productive zones. I do those can be very productive zones. I do those can be very productive zones. I do this podcast, I do my writing in the this podcast, I do my writing in the this podcast, I do my writing in the morning, morning, morning, questions or episodes like this, and questions or episodes like this, and questions or episodes like this, and then I often do my delivery in my yellow then I often do my delivery in my yellow then I often do my delivery in my yellow zone. So, green zone for writing, yellow zone. So, green zone for writing, yellow zone. So, green zone for writing, yellow zone for delivery and interviews. I will zone for delivery and interviews. I will zone for delivery and interviews. I will do a lot of my meetings in my yellow do a lot of my meetings in my yellow do a lot of my meetings in my yellow zone because I don't need my absolute zone because I don't need my absolute zone because I don't need my absolute peak energy. Now, if it's a really peak energy. Now, if it's a really peak energy. Now, if it's a really important issue, might move it to my important issue, might move it to my important issue, might move it to my green zone. Now, the mistake a lot of green zone. Now, the mistake a lot of green zone. Now, the mistake a lot of leaders make is you don't you might know leaders make is you don't you might know leaders make is you don't you might know your green zone, but you don't protect your green zone, but you don't protect your green zone, but you don't protect it. And the mistake I was making when I it. And the mistake I was making when I it. And the mistake I was making when I was burning out was burning out was burning out was that I would take breakfast meetings was that I would take breakfast meetings was that I would take breakfast meetings in my green zone. And you know how in my green zone. And you know how in my green zone. And you know how breakfast meetings work, you gather at breakfast meetings work, you gather at breakfast meetings work, you gather at the restaurant at 7:30, supposed to be the restaurant at 7:30, supposed to be the restaurant at 7:30, supposed to be an hour, but it takes an hour and a an hour, but it takes an hour and a an hour, but it takes an hour and a half. Then you go grab a coffee at a half. Then you go grab a coffee at a half. Then you go grab a coffee at a drive-thru, you go into the office, drive-thru, you go into the office, drive-thru, you go into the office, everybody wants to talk to you. It's everybody wants to talk to you. It's everybody wants to talk to you. It's 10:00 by that time. You look at your 10:00 by that time. You look at your 10:00 by that time. You look at your phone, it's like, "Oh, I have all these phone, it's like, "Oh, I have all these phone, it's like, "Oh, I have all these texts, I have all these emails." You texts, I have all these emails." You texts, I have all these emails." You answer those and it's lunch. And what answer those and it's lunch. And what answer those and it's lunch. And what have you accomplished by lunch? Nothing.

have you accomplished by lunch? Nothing. have you accomplished by lunch? Nothing. Your sermon isn't written, your most Your sermon isn't written, your most Your sermon isn't written, your most important work isn't done, and then you important work isn't done, and then you important work isn't done, and then you say, "I'll get to that later." And you say, "I'll get to that later." And you say, "I'll get to that later." And you don't get to it later and it rolls over don't get to it later and it rolls over don't get to it later and it rolls over to Tuesday and then Wednesday. That's to Tuesday and then Wednesday. That's to Tuesday and then Wednesday. That's why so many preachers Thursday night, why so many preachers Thursday night, why so many preachers Thursday night, it's like, "I still haven't finished my it's like, "I still haven't finished my it's like, "I still haven't finished my message." message." message." Sorry kids, I can't go to your game Sorry kids, I can't go to your game Sorry kids, I can't go to your game tonight. I got to write it. And you're tonight. I got to write it. And you're tonight. I got to write it. And you're finally finishing up on your Saturday finally finishing up on your Saturday finally finishing up on your Saturday night special on Saturday and you blew night special on Saturday and you blew night special on Saturday and you blew all your family time. You know what you all your family time. You know what you all your family time. You know what you do? do? do? Block off your green zone. Block off your green zone. Block off your green zone. And just start doing what you're best And just start doing what you're best And just start doing what you're best at, your most important work when you're at, your most important work when you're at, your most important work when you're at your best. And when I started writing at your best. And when I started writing at your best. And when I started writing my messages in my green zone, I was my messages in my green zone, I was my messages in my green zone, I was shocked. shocked. shocked. I was done by Wednesday and then by I was done by Wednesday and then by I was done by Wednesday and then by Tuesday. And you know, when you're done Tuesday. And you know, when you're done Tuesday. And you know, when you're done a message four or five days before a message four or five days before a message four or five days before Sunday, it doesn't matter what happens Sunday, it doesn't matter what happens Sunday, it doesn't matter what happens in the rest of the week, you're done. in the rest of the week, you're done. in the rest of the week, you're done. You got your message done. You got your message done. You got your message done. And for the last decade when I was a And for the last decade when I was a And for the last decade when I was a lead pastor, I would often get my entire lead pastor, I would often get my entire lead pastor, I would often get my entire sermon series done, written, outlined, sermon series done, written, outlined, sermon series done, written, outlined, and into production before I preached and into production before I preached and into production before I preached the first week. I was working a month in the first week. I was working a month in the first week. I was working a month in advance. In fact, right now I'm getting advance. In fact, right now I'm getting advance. In fact, right now I'm getting ready to preach. All my messages are in ready to preach. All my messages are in ready to preach. All my messages are in six weeks in advance and you're like, six weeks in advance and you're like, six weeks in advance and you're like, well, you're not preaching a full-time well, you're not preaching a full-time well, you're not preaching a full-time load anymore. No, but I'm writing a book load anymore. No, but I'm writing a book load anymore. No, but I'm writing a book and I'm doing podcasts like this and and I'm doing podcasts like this and and I'm doing podcasts like this and traveling to conferences. Like just when traveling to conferences. Like just when traveling to conferences. Like just when you protect that green zone, you get you protect that green zone, you get you protect that green zone, you get ahead. So, manage your energy cuz you ahead. So, manage your energy cuz you ahead. So, manage your energy cuz you got a limited amount, not just your got a limited amount, not just your got a limited amount, not just your time, you'll get way ahead on that. Big time, you'll get way ahead on that. Big time, you'll get way ahead on that. Big thing you need to change is stop letting thing you need to change is stop letting thing you need to change is stop letting other people hijack your priorities.

other people hijack your priorities. other people hijack your priorities. Cuz this is a great theory and you might Cuz this is a great theory and you might Cuz this is a great theory and you might say, "Wonderful. I'm going to protect my say, "Wonderful. I'm going to protect my say, "Wonderful. I'm going to protect my green zone." But then somebody wants to green zone." But then somebody wants to green zone." But then somebody wants to meet with you, you get a knock at the meet with you, you get a knock at the meet with you, you get a knock at the door. People are like, "Can I just have door. People are like, "Can I just have door. People are like, "Can I just have five minutes of your time?" which is five minutes of your time?" which is five minutes of your time?" which is never five minutes of your time. And never five minutes of your time. And never five minutes of your time. And that's why Have you ever ever had a day that's why Have you ever ever had a day that's why Have you ever ever had a day where you've had nothing on your where you've had nothing on your where you've had nothing on your calendar and you're like, "Oh, this is calendar and you're like, "Oh, this is calendar and you're like, "Oh, this is going to be the most amazing day." and going to be the most amazing day." and going to be the most amazing day." and then 5:00 rolls around and what do you then 5:00 rolls around and what do you then 5:00 rolls around and what do you get done? Nothing. get done? Nothing. get done? Nothing. And here's what happened. You let other And here's what happened. You let other And here's what happened. You let other people hijack your priorities. And this people hijack your priorities. And this people hijack your priorities. And this is what you need to remember. Nobody is what you need to remember. Nobody is what you need to remember. Nobody will ever ask you to complete your will ever ask you to complete your will ever ask you to complete your priorities. They will only ask you to priorities. They will only ask you to priorities. They will only ask you to complete theirs. complete theirs. complete theirs. That's what every transaction is. Every That's what every transaction is. Every That's what every transaction is. Every email you get, every text, "Hey, can you email you get, every text, "Hey, can you email you get, every text, "Hey, can you meet for lunch? Hey, can you look over meet for lunch? Hey, can you look over meet for lunch? Hey, can you look over this report? Hey, can you help me with this report? Hey, can you help me with this report? Hey, can you help me with this project?" And before you get mad at this project?" And before you get mad at this project?" And before you get mad at other people, you do the same thing to other people, you do the same thing to other people, you do the same thing to them. Every email, every text you send them. Every email, every text you send them. Every email, every text you send is like, "I know you're busy, but can is like, "I know you're busy, but can is like, "I know you're busy, but can you help me? That's the way life works, you help me? That's the way life works, you help me? That's the way life works, but what you need to do is have the but what you need to do is have the but what you need to do is have the discipline to carve out that time, your discipline to carve out that time, your discipline to carve out that time, your green zone, so that your most important green zone, so that your most important green zone, so that your most important work gets done because nobody is ever work gets done because nobody is ever work gets done because nobody is ever going to ask you to accomplish your top going to ask you to accomplish your top going to ask you to accomplish your top priorities, they're only going to ask priorities, they're only going to ask priorities, they're only going to ask you to accomplish theirs. So, how do you you to accomplish theirs. So, how do you you to accomplish theirs. So, how do you do that? Well, that's our next point, do that? Well, that's our next point, do that? Well, that's our next point, number six. Got to move to a fixed number six. Got to move to a fixed number six. Got to move to a fixed calendar. So, if you took out your phone calendar. So, if you took out your phone calendar. So, if you took out your phone right now and looked ahead at your right now and looked ahead at your right now and looked ahead at your calendar, calendar, calendar, what do you see? So, this is May, let's what do you see? So, this is May, let's what do you see? So, this is May, let's say you're listening to this in real say you're listening to this in real say you're listening to this in real time.

time. time. Look at October. How does October look? Look at October. How does October look? Look at October. How does October look? And if you're like most people, you look And if you're like most people, you look And if you're like most people, you look at your calendar, it's like it's blank. at your calendar, it's like it's blank. at your calendar, it's like it's blank. It's amazing. October's going to be It's amazing. October's going to be It's amazing. October's going to be phenomenal. This is what you tell phenomenal. This is what you tell phenomenal. This is what you tell yourself. yourself. yourself. Reality is that's how you thought May Reality is that's how you thought May Reality is that's how you thought May was going to be back in January. Why? was going to be back in January. Why? was going to be back in January. Why? Well, cuz you had nothing in your Well, cuz you had nothing in your Well, cuz you had nothing in your calendar. And here's the truth, blank calendar. And here's the truth, blank calendar. And here's the truth, blank space in your calendar is a trap. It space in your calendar is a trap. It space in your calendar is a trap. It looks like freedom, but it's jail looks like freedom, but it's jail looks like freedom, but it's jail disguised as liberty. And if you look at disguised as liberty. And if you look at disguised as liberty. And if you look at my calendar, this is May. If you look at my calendar, this is May. If you look at my calendar, this is May. If you look at October, I don't know if you can see October, I don't know if you can see October, I don't know if you can see this or not if you're watching. this or not if you're watching. this or not if you're watching. I have pre-decided how I'm going to I have pre-decided how I'm going to I have pre-decided how I'm going to spend October. spend October. spend October. Um, I know that in the morning I'm going Um, I know that in the morning I'm going Um, I know that in the morning I'm going to be working on content. I don't 100% to be working on content. I don't 100% to be working on content. I don't 100% know what content, but I'm a writer, know what content, but I'm a writer, know what content, but I'm a writer, this is what I do. So, I got my green this is what I do. So, I got my green this is what I do. So, I got my green zone blocked out. And I have to You can zone blocked out. And I have to You can zone blocked out. And I have to You can look at 2026, you can look at October look at 2026, you can look at October look at 2026, you can look at October 2029. 2029. 2029. It's pre-decided It's pre-decided It's pre-decided because I know as long as I keep doing because I know as long as I keep doing because I know as long as I keep doing this stuff, I'm going to have really this stuff, I'm going to have really this stuff, I'm going to have really important stuff to do. I I need to block important stuff to do. I I need to block important stuff to do. I I need to block that out, and I need to decide how I'm that out, and I need to decide how I'm that out, and I need to decide how I'm going to spend my time before others going to spend my time before others going to spend my time before others decide for me. If you look at my decide for me. If you look at my decide for me. If you look at my Saturdays, you know what they say?

Saturdays, you know what they say? Saturdays, you know what they say? Family time. It says family time, Family time. It says family time, Family time. It says family time, personal time. Why does it say that? personal time. Why does it say that? personal time. Why does it say that? Because before I burned out, I used to Because before I burned out, I used to Because before I burned out, I used to have nothing in my calendar. have nothing in my calendar. have nothing in my calendar. And I'd be at some social event, and And I'd be at some social event, and And I'd be at some social event, and people from the church come up to me, people from the church come up to me, people from the church come up to me, and they would ask the inevitable and they would ask the inevitable and they would ask the inevitable question, "Hey Carey, what are you doing question, "Hey Carey, what are you doing question, "Hey Carey, what are you doing on Saturday?" on Saturday?" on Saturday?" And I would look at my calendar, I would And I would look at my calendar, I would And I would look at my calendar, I would see nothing there, and guess what I see nothing there, and guess what I see nothing there, and guess what I would say? Exactly what you would say. would say? Exactly what you would say. would say? Exactly what you would say. Nothing. And then they say, "Oh good. Nothing. And then they say, "Oh good. Nothing. And then they say, "Oh good. Good good good good. So Good good good good. So Good good good good. So um um um can you come help me move my piano on can you come help me move my piano on can you come help me move my piano on Saturday?" Saturday?" Saturday?" Or you know, "Hey, can you come to my Or you know, "Hey, can you come to my Or you know, "Hey, can you come to my great aunt's 50th wedding anniversary great aunt's 50th wedding anniversary great aunt's 50th wedding anniversary and say the prayer?" And what are you and say the prayer?" And what are you and say the prayer?" And what are you going to say then? No, I can't do it. going to say then? No, I can't do it. going to say then? No, I can't do it. They already know you have nothing on. They already know you have nothing on. They already know you have nothing on. And then I would have to go home and And then I would have to go home and And then I would have to go home and explain to my family, when my kids were explain to my family, when my kids were explain to my family, when my kids were young, I can't be around this Saturday. young, I can't be around this Saturday. young, I can't be around this Saturday. I got to go do this thing I don't want I got to go do this thing I don't want I got to go do this thing I don't want to do. to do. to do. So then, after I burned out and rebuilt So then, after I burned out and rebuilt So then, after I burned out and rebuilt my life, I started writing in all of my my life, I started writing in all of my my life, I started writing in all of my priorities, like priorities I should priorities, like priorities I should priorities, like priorities I should say. Saturday says family time, personal say. Saturday says family time, personal say. Saturday says family time, personal time. I have my workout scheduled. I time. I have my workout scheduled. I time. I have my workout scheduled. I have Sunday scheduled for downtime, have Sunday scheduled for downtime, have Sunday scheduled for downtime, church obviously, and and relaxation.

church obviously, and and relaxation. church obviously, and and relaxation. And then when people ask me, "Hey Carey, And then when people ask me, "Hey Carey, And then when people ask me, "Hey Carey, are you busy on Saturday? Are you busy are you busy on Saturday? Are you busy are you busy on Saturday? Are you busy on the weekend?" I just open up my on the weekend?" I just open up my on the weekend?" I just open up my calendar, I look, and I go, "Oh, calendar, I look, and I go, "Oh, calendar, I look, and I go, "Oh, actually I have an appointment. I have a actually I have an appointment. I have a actually I have an appointment. I have a commitment." commitment." commitment." And usually that solves the problem. Now And usually that solves the problem. Now And usually that solves the problem. Now sometimes they say to you, "Well, what sometimes they say to you, "Well, what sometimes they say to you, "Well, what kind of commitment do you have?" And kind of commitment do you have?" And kind of commitment do you have?" And I'll say, "Well, I have a commitment to I'll say, "Well, I have a commitment to I'll say, "Well, I have a commitment to my family." my family." my family." And then I know you're nervous. You're And then I know you're nervous. You're And then I know you're nervous. You're like, "Well, what if they say something like, "Well, what if they say something like, "Well, what if they say something like, 'Hey, is your family more like, 'Hey, is your family more like, 'Hey, is your family more important than me?'" If they ever say important than me?'" If they ever say important than me?'" If they ever say that, you know what you do? Just call that, you know what you do? Just call that, you know what you do? Just call the police. Just call the police. Have the police. Just call the police. Have the police. Just call the police. Have them arrested. Take them away. No, I'm them arrested. Take them away. No, I'm them arrested. Take them away. No, I'm kidding. I mean, most people don't get kidding. I mean, most people don't get kidding. I mean, most people don't get to that level, but then you've got an to that level, but then you've got an to that level, but then you've got an excuse. You're like, "I got a excuse. You're like, "I got a excuse. You're like, "I got a commitment. I'm sorry, I can't make it." commitment. I'm sorry, I can't make it." commitment. I'm sorry, I can't make it." You don't have to explain to people what You don't have to explain to people what You don't have to explain to people what it is. it is. it is. And if if it does get to, "No, it's my And if if it does get to, "No, it's my And if if it does get to, "No, it's my family," most people will respect that. family," most people will respect that. family," most people will respect that. And if they don't, well, that's not on And if they don't, well, that's not on And if they don't, well, that's not on you. you. you. Now, Now, Now, you're saying, "Well, what if what if you're saying, "Well, what if what if you're saying, "Well, what if what if it's a really cool thing I want to do?" it's a really cool thing I want to do?" it's a really cool thing I want to do?" Then you can change your mind. You can Then you can change your mind. You can Then you can change your mind. You can say, "Actually, I really want to go to say, "Actually, I really want to go to say, "Actually, I really want to go to that concert. Yeah, I tried to get that concert. Yeah, I tried to get that concert. Yeah, I tried to get tickets. I couldn't get it. tickets. I couldn't get it. tickets. I couldn't get it. Uh I'm going to go." You can change your Uh I'm going to go." You can change your Uh I'm going to go." You can change your mind. But that way you've always got an mind. But that way you've always got an mind. But that way you've always got an out, and it's an honest out. And if you out, and it's an honest out. And if you out, and it's an honest out. And if you don't care for your family, and you don't care for your family, and you don't care for your family, and you don't care for yourself, and you don't don't care for yourself, and you don't don't care for yourself, and you don't work out, and you don't get some work out, and you don't get some work out, and you don't get some downtime, you're not going to be in downtime, you're not going to be in downtime, you're not going to be in ministry in 3 years. So, don't apologize ministry in 3 years. So, don't apologize ministry in 3 years. So, don't apologize for putting your family in your for putting your family in your for putting your family in your calendar. All right. Another principle.

calendar. All right. Another principle. calendar. All right. Another principle. This one's really important. The people This one's really important. The people This one's really important. The people who want your time are rarely the people who want your time are rarely the people who want your time are rarely the people who should have it, and the people who who should have it, and the people who who should have it, and the people who need your time will rarely ask you for need your time will rarely ask you for need your time will rarely ask you for it. There is a paradox at the heart of it. There is a paradox at the heart of it. There is a paradox at the heart of leadership that the people who most want leadership that the people who most want leadership that the people who most want to meet with you are rarely the people to meet with you are rarely the people to meet with you are rarely the people that you should be spending your time that you should be spending your time that you should be spending your time with. with. with. And the people who should be getting And the people who should be getting And the people who should be getting your best time, think about it, your top your best time, think about it, your top your best time, think about it, your top staff, your family, your closest people, staff, your family, your closest people, staff, your family, your closest people, your best donors, your best volunteers, your best donors, your best volunteers, your best donors, your best volunteers, they almost never ask for it. They don't they almost never ask for it. They don't they almost never ask for it. They don't want to be a burden. And so, what want to be a burden. And so, what want to be a burden. And so, what happens to a lot of leaders when you happens to a lot of leaders when you happens to a lot of leaders when you schedule meetings is you schedule the schedule meetings is you schedule the schedule meetings is you schedule the wrong people in. The person who emailed wrong people in. The person who emailed wrong people in. The person who emailed you five times and wanted to have that you five times and wanted to have that you five times and wanted to have that meeting because they're so mad about meeting because they're so mad about meeting because they're so mad about this. I'm not saying you shouldn't meet this. I'm not saying you shouldn't meet this. I'm not saying you shouldn't meet with them, but man, when you've got your with them, but man, when you've got your with them, but man, when you've got your top staff who need to be developed, who top staff who need to be developed, who top staff who need to be developed, who really need your time, need your really need your time, need your really need your time, need your guidance, need your insight, when you've guidance, need your insight, when you've guidance, need your insight, when you've got that top volunteer, a key donor, got that top volunteer, a key donor, got that top volunteer, a key donor, when you've got that new family that's when you've got that new family that's when you've got that new family that's so close to faith that could really use so close to faith that could really use so close to faith that could really use your time, and you've got the person your time, and you've got the person your time, and you've got the person who's the constant complainer who's the constant complainer who's the constant complainer in your meeting slot, like that's not a in your meeting slot, like that's not a in your meeting slot, like that's not a good use of time. And the other thing good use of time. And the other thing good use of time. And the other thing that happens when you're continually that happens when you're continually that happens when you're continually meeting with the wrong people, I had a meeting with the wrong people, I had a meeting with the wrong people, I had a CEO tell me that allowing the wrong CEO tell me that allowing the wrong CEO tell me that allowing the wrong person into his green zone can reduce person into his green zone can reduce person into his green zone can reduce his peak energy from 5 hours to 5 his peak energy from 5 hours to 5 his peak energy from 5 hours to 5 minutes. You have that one meeting, and minutes. You have that one meeting, and minutes. You have that one meeting, and it's like, oh, I'm drained for the rest it's like, oh, I'm drained for the rest it's like, oh, I'm drained for the rest of the day. All right, one bad meeting of the day. All right, one bad meeting of the day. All right, one bad meeting in the wrong window, and the rest of the in the wrong window, and the rest of the in the wrong window, and the rest of the day becomes a red zone for you.

day becomes a red zone for you. day becomes a red zone for you. Meanwhile, you know, this is the other Meanwhile, you know, this is the other Meanwhile, you know, this is the other thing to think about. And I know this is thing to think about. And I know this is thing to think about. And I know this is a hard teaching, and a lot of people a hard teaching, and a lot of people a hard teaching, and a lot of people might disagree with it cuz you're a might disagree with it cuz you're a might disagree with it cuz you're a pastor, pastor, pastor, but the people who are perpetually in but the people who are perpetually in but the people who are perpetually in crisis, who have what I call a flat crisis, who have what I call a flat crisis, who have what I call a flat learning curve, learning curve, learning curve, I've noticed that when I meet with them, I've noticed that when I meet with them, I've noticed that when I meet with them, and I meet with them repeatedly, they and I meet with them repeatedly, they and I meet with them repeatedly, they often don't seem to improve, no matter often don't seem to improve, no matter often don't seem to improve, no matter how much I invest in them. They just how much I invest in them. They just how much I invest in them. They just want to meet again. And these people want to meet again. And these people want to meet again. And these people will often be the people who will will often be the people who will will often be the people who will happily consume as much of your time and happily consume as much of your time and happily consume as much of your time and energy as you will give them. energy as you will give them. energy as you will give them. So, here's what I've come to understand. So, here's what I've come to understand. So, here's what I've come to understand. Is that giving your best energy to the Is that giving your best energy to the Is that giving your best energy to the people who aren't growing isn't people who aren't growing isn't people who aren't growing isn't kindness, it's misallocation. kindness, it's misallocation. kindness, it's misallocation. And sometimes it comes from a place And sometimes it comes from a place And sometimes it comes from a place where you just need to feel needed or where you just need to feel needed or where you just need to feel needed or you feel guilty about not meeting with you feel guilty about not meeting with you feel guilty about not meeting with them. Meanwhile, them. Meanwhile, them. Meanwhile, your family, your kids, your top your family, your kids, your top your family, your kids, your top volunteers, your top staff, the people volunteers, your top staff, the people volunteers, your top staff, the people who rarely ask for your time but need it who rarely ask for your time but need it who rarely ask for your time but need it most, they get ignored because you met most, they get ignored because you met most, they get ignored because you met with people who you didn't need to meet with people who you didn't need to meet with people who you didn't need to meet with. This episode is brought to you by with. This episode is brought to you by with. This episode is brought to you by Gloo. So, a question for you about this Gloo. So, a question for you about this Gloo. So, a question for you about this ad spot. You ever ask yourself like, ad spot. You ever ask yourself like, ad spot. You ever ask yourself like, "How did I end up listening to this ad "How did I end up listening to this ad "How did I end up listening to this ad right now?" Well, that's called right now?" Well, that's called right now?" Well, that's called placement and the placement of this ad placement and the placement of this ad placement and the placement of this ad comes from Gloo. And I've got Brian comes from Gloo. And I've got Brian comes from Gloo. And I've got Brian Brown here who leads the Gloo team Brown here who leads the Gloo team Brown here who leads the Gloo team focused on helping your ministry grow focused on helping your ministry grow focused on helping your ministry grow your reach because I think what they your reach because I think what they your reach because I think what they built is really worth knowing about. So, built is really worth knowing about. So, built is really worth knowing about. So, Brian, tell us a little bit about Brian, tell us a little bit about Brian, tell us a little bit about placement and Gloo's role in that.

placement and Gloo's role in that. placement and Gloo's role in that. Thanks, Carey. Thanks, Carey. Thanks, Carey. Gloo has built a way to reach Christians Gloo has built a way to reach Christians Gloo has built a way to reach Christians who are already engaged, already who are already engaged, already who are already engaged, already reading, listening, and looking for reading, listening, and looking for reading, listening, and looking for resources that line up with what they resources that line up with what they resources that line up with what they believe. We're talking about podcasts believe. We're talking about podcasts believe. We're talking about podcasts just like this one, trusted publishers, just like this one, trusted publishers, just like this one, trusted publishers, trusted voices, quality content trusted voices, quality content trusted voices, quality content channels, and they're all connected. So, channels, and they're all connected. So, channels, and they're all connected. So, if you're a business or a ministry or a if you're a business or a ministry or a if you're a business or a ministry or a nonprofit and you've ever wondered, "I nonprofit and you've ever wondered, "I nonprofit and you've ever wondered, "I wish we could get in front of an wish we could get in front of an wish we could get in front of an audience just like this." That's audience just like this." That's audience just like this." That's literally what our network is for at literally what our network is for at literally what our network is for at Gloo. You're not buying some random ad Gloo. You're not buying some random ad Gloo. You're not buying some random ad placement, you're reaching the people placement, you're reaching the people placement, you're reaching the people who are already leaning in. So, it's who are already leaning in. So, it's who are already leaning in. So, it's strategic and if you want to know how it strategic and if you want to know how it strategic and if you want to know how it works, if your organization wants to be works, if your organization wants to be works, if your organization wants to be featured in spots like this one here or featured in spots like this one here or featured in spots like this one here or elsewhere, contact Glue by going to elsewhere, contact Glue by going to elsewhere, contact Glue by going to glue.com/grow. glue.com/grow. glue.com/grow. And I want to spell that for you. That's And I want to spell that for you. That's And I want to spell that for you. That's g l o o.com/grow. g l o o.com/grow. g l o o.com/grow. So, here's the question I want to leave So, here's the question I want to leave So, here's the question I want to leave you with. you with. you with. Who's getting your best hours? Is it Who's getting your best hours? Is it Who's getting your best hours? Is it actually the people actually the people actually the people that deserve them the most? Because you that deserve them the most? Because you that deserve them the most? Because you should schedule them in. And then say to should schedule them in. And then say to should schedule them in. And then say to the other people, "Hey, there are other the other people, "Hey, there are other the other people, "Hey, there are other systems that can care for those needs or systems that can care for those needs or systems that can care for those needs or I met with you once I met with you once I met with you once away you go." So, anyway, I know that away you go." So, anyway, I know that away you go." So, anyway, I know that teaching is not going to sit well with teaching is not going to sit well with teaching is not going to sit well with everybody, but it has really helped me.

everybody, but it has really helped me. everybody, but it has really helped me. And you know what the paradox is? And you know what the paradox is? And you know what the paradox is? I'm serving exponentially more leaders I'm serving exponentially more leaders I'm serving exponentially more leaders now than I ever served when I burned now than I ever served when I burned now than I ever served when I burned out. And I have more time off. And I'm out. And I have more time off. And I'm out. And I have more time off. And I'm meeting with the right people on my meeting with the right people on my meeting with the right people on my calendar. And because my calendar is calendar. And because my calendar is calendar. And because my calendar is clearer than it used to be, clearer than it used to be, clearer than it used to be, I can give you content like this. We can I can give you content like this. We can I can give you content like this. We can connect like this. So, here's the connect like this. So, here's the connect like this. So, here's the summary. summary. summary. Live in a way today that will help you Live in a way today that will help you Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow. Think about the micro thrive tomorrow. Think about the micro thrive tomorrow. Think about the micro adjustments you can make and the macro adjustments you can make and the macro adjustments you can make and the macro adjustments that you can make. Because adjustments that you can make. Because adjustments that you can make. Because sometimes, you know, people are like, sometimes, you know, people are like, sometimes, you know, people are like, "Well, Carey, that's great. You're the "Well, Carey, that's great. You're the "Well, Carey, that's great. You're the CEO or the lead pastor. You can get to CEO or the lead pastor. You can get to CEO or the lead pastor. You can get to do whatever you want to do. And I have do whatever you want to do. And I have do whatever you want to do. And I have to, you know, take my kids to soccer to, you know, take my kids to soccer to, you know, take my kids to soccer five nights a week and then we have five nights a week and then we have five nights a week and then we have music lessons and hobbies and all this music lessons and hobbies and all this music lessons and hobbies and all this stuff." Listen, stuff." Listen, stuff." Listen, nobody made you take your kids to to to nobody made you take your kids to to to nobody made you take your kids to to to soccer soccer soccer or to football five nights a week. or to football five nights a week. or to football five nights a week. Nobody made you do that. The government Nobody made you do that. The government Nobody made you do that. The government did not make you do that. You chose to did not make you do that. You chose to did not make you do that. You chose to do it. We had a rule with our kids, do it. We had a rule with our kids, do it. We had a rule with our kids, especially after I burned out, you get especially after I burned out, you get especially after I burned out, you get one sport and one music per semester. one sport and one music per semester. one sport and one music per semester. That's it. We're just We only had two That's it. We're just We only had two That's it. We're just We only had two kids, but it's like we are limited human kids, but it's like we are limited human kids, but it's like we are limited human beings. And you know what? They did beings. And you know what? They did beings. And you know what? They did okay. They did okay. So, you want to okay. They did okay. So, you want to okay. They did okay. So, you want to make adjustments to your life so you can make adjustments to your life so you can make adjustments to your life so you can get some proper sleep. You get a get some proper sleep. You get a get some proper sleep. You get a Sabbath. You get some days off. You have Sabbath. You get some days off. You have Sabbath. You get some days off. You have a hobby so that you have something to a hobby so that you have something to a hobby so that you have something to move into to lean into. You want to care move into to lean into. You want to care move into to lean into. You want to care for your heart, your soul, and your for your heart, your soul, and your for your heart, your soul, and your body.

body. body. And you want to make really good And you want to make really good And you want to make really good decisions. Uh just a word to those of decisions. Uh just a word to those of decisions. Uh just a word to those of you who are married, you know, one of you who are married, you know, one of you who are married, you know, one of the reasons when you get exhausted and the reasons when you get exhausted and the reasons when you get exhausted and numb, one of my rules was don't have an numb, one of my rules was don't have an numb, one of my rules was don't have an affair. Still haven't had an affair by affair. Still haven't had an affair by affair. Still haven't had an affair by the grace of God. Don't ever want to. the grace of God. Don't ever want to. the grace of God. Don't ever want to. But when you get exhausted, people make But when you get exhausted, people make But when you get exhausted, people make really bad decisions. And one of the really bad decisions. And one of the really bad decisions. And one of the best things you can do is schedule a best things you can do is schedule a best things you can do is schedule a date night. I said to a leader recently, date night. I said to a leader recently, date night. I said to a leader recently, you know, imagine your marriage was to you know, imagine your marriage was to you know, imagine your marriage was to end tomorrow or God forbid your wife end tomorrow or God forbid your wife end tomorrow or God forbid your wife passed away. And you met somebody new. passed away. And you met somebody new. passed away. And you met somebody new. You know what you would do? You would You know what you would do? You would You know what you would do? You would pursue that person that you were pursue that person that you were pursue that person that you were interested in. interested in. interested in. Well, now flip that and pursue the Well, now flip that and pursue the Well, now flip that and pursue the spouse you're married to. Right? Have a spouse you're married to. Right? Have a spouse you're married to. Right? Have a date night, a regularly scheduled date date night, a regularly scheduled date date night, a regularly scheduled date night. We've had a regularly scheduled night. We've had a regularly scheduled night. We've had a regularly scheduled Friday night date night for years. You Friday night date night for years. You Friday night date night for years. You want to run offense, not defense on your want to run offense, not defense on your want to run offense, not defense on your marriage. You want to build a marriage. You want to build a marriage. You want to build a relationship that lasts. You want to relationship that lasts. You want to relationship that lasts. You want to date your spouse like you would when you date your spouse like you would when you date your spouse like you would when you first met her. first met her. first met her. You know, and and I do that now. And so You know, and and I do that now. And so You know, and and I do that now. And so I'm very, very grateful. I have a full I'm very, very grateful. I have a full I'm very, very grateful. I have a full life, not just a full work life. And life, not just a full work life. And life, not just a full work life. And when you have a full life, you're on a when you have a full life, you're on a when you have a full life, you're on a much better path much better path much better path to avoiding moral failure. So, let's to avoiding moral failure. So, let's to avoiding moral failure. So, let's recap what we've learned so far. You recap what we've learned so far. You recap what we've learned so far. You don't need to get back to normal, you don't need to get back to normal, you don't need to get back to normal, you need a new normal.

need a new normal. need a new normal. Secondly, time off won't heal you when Secondly, time off won't heal you when Secondly, time off won't heal you when the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time the problem is how you spend your time off. off. off. Third, stop saying you don't have the Third, stop saying you don't have the Third, stop saying you don't have the time, start admitting you didn't make time, start admitting you didn't make time, start admitting you didn't make the time. the time. the time. That's a really important admission for That's a really important admission for That's a really important admission for yourself. No, I didn't make the time to yourself. No, I didn't make the time to yourself. No, I didn't make the time to get my message ready. Keep saying that get my message ready. Keep saying that get my message ready. Keep saying that to yourself, you're going to do better. to yourself, you're going to do better. to yourself, you're going to do better. Fourth thing, start managing your Fourth thing, start managing your Fourth thing, start managing your energy, not just your time. Fifth, stop energy, not just your time. Fifth, stop energy, not just your time. Fifth, stop letting other people hijack your letting other people hijack your letting other people hijack your priorities. Sixth, move to a fixed priorities. Sixth, move to a fixed priorities. Sixth, move to a fixed calendar, decide ahead of time how calendar, decide ahead of time how calendar, decide ahead of time how you're going to spend your time before you're going to spend your time before you're going to spend your time before other people do it for you. And then other people do it for you. And then other people do it for you. And then finally, the people who want your time finally, the people who want your time finally, the people who want your time are rarely the people who should have are rarely the people who should have are rarely the people who should have it. And the people who need your time it. And the people who need your time it. And the people who need your time are rarely going to ask you for it, so are rarely going to ask you for it, so are rarely going to ask you for it, so you need to schedule it in. Hey, I you need to schedule it in. Hey, I you need to schedule it in. Hey, I really hope really hope really hope that if this hits close to home, that if this hits close to home, that if this hits close to home, that you get the help you need. Call a that you get the help you need. Call a that you get the help you need. Call a friend, call your doctor, reach out to a friend, call your doctor, reach out to a friend, call your doctor, reach out to a therapist, and just let them know, therapist, and just let them know, therapist, and just let them know, "I'm not okay, but I want to be okay." "I'm not okay, but I want to be okay." "I'm not okay, but I want to be okay." And if this really hits close to home, And if this really hits close to home, And if this really hits close to home, my best-selling book at your best might my best-selling book at your best might my best-selling book at your best might be the best thing you can get. Be sure be the best thing you can get. Be sure be the best thing you can get. Be sure to check it out, pick up a copy, and if to check it out, pick up a copy, and if to check it out, pick up a copy, and if you need the cheat code, if you're like, you need the cheat code, if you're like, you need the cheat code, if you're like, "What were all those points?" Remember "What were all those points?" Remember "What were all those points?" Remember this, live in a way today that will help this, live in a way today that will help this, live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.

you thrive tomorrow. you thrive tomorrow. So, thank you so much for listening to So, thank you so much for listening to So, thank you so much for listening to this mini-series. Remember, we are this mini-series. Remember, we are this mini-series. Remember, we are giving away 20 copies of At Your Best giving away 20 copies of At Your Best giving away 20 copies of At Your Best for free to listeners and to viewers. To for free to listeners and to viewers. To for free to listeners and to viewers. To enter the giveaway, visit enter the giveaway, visit enter the giveaway, visit CareyNieuwhof.com/giveaway CareyNieuwhof.com/giveaway CareyNieuwhof.com/giveaway by June 7th. Coming up on the podcast, by June 7th. Coming up on the podcast, by June 7th. Coming up on the podcast, back to our regularly scheduled back to our regularly scheduled back to our regularly scheduled programs, we have Rich Villodas, Dr. programs, we have Rich Villodas, Dr. programs, we have Rich Villodas, Dr. Nicole Martin, Eric Reese from The Lean Nicole Martin, Eric Reese from The Lean Nicole Martin, Eric Reese from The Lean Startup, Joshua Becker, David Epstein, Startup, Joshua Becker, David Epstein, Startup, Joshua Becker, David Epstein, that was a fascinating conversation, and that was a fascinating conversation, and that was a fascinating conversation, and a whole lot more. So, if this a whole lot more. So, if this a whole lot more. So, if this conversation was helpful, leave a review conversation was helpful, leave a review conversation was helpful, leave a review or comment wherever you're listening. or comment wherever you're listening. or comment wherever you're listening. Don't forget to share it with a friend, Don't forget to share it with a friend, Don't forget to share it with a friend, and I really hope our conversation today and I really hope our conversation today and I really hope our conversation today has helped you personally see a growth has helped you personally see a growth has helped you personally see a growth barrier you're facing and scale it.