Why TYLER STATON's Cancer Story Will Change Your View on Prayer

I guess I would say it this way because I guess I would say it this way because I I I read the Bible and pray for an hour on read the Bible and pray for an hour on read the Bible and pray for an hour on my porch every morning I'm such an my porch every morning I'm such an my porch every morning I'm such an ordered person and my wife ordered person and my wife ordered person and my wife Kiren is so disordered and Kiren is so disordered and Kiren is so disordered and spontaneous and she knew all of our spontaneous and she knew all of our spontaneous and she knew all of our neighbors profoundly well and all of the neighbors profoundly well and all of the neighbors profoundly well and all of the friendships that we had outside of my friendships that we had outside of my friendships that we had outside of my work place which happens to be a church work place which happens to be a church work place which happens to be a church were ones that she had formed on our were ones that she had formed on our were ones that she had formed on our behalf and suddenly I behalf and suddenly I behalf and suddenly I saw that there is something profoundly saw that there is something profoundly saw that there is something profoundly Jesus in the way that she relates to the Jesus in the way that she relates to the Jesus in the way that she relates to the world that I have been missing in all of world that I have been missing in all of world that I have been missing in all of my spiritual practice welcome to the K my spiritual practice welcome to the K my spiritual practice welcome to the K newoff leadership podcast on YouTube newoff leadership podcast on YouTube newoff leadership podcast on YouTube today we sit down with Tyler ston we today we sit down with Tyler ston we today we sit down with Tyler ston we talk about his cancer joury Journey why talk about his cancer joury Journey why talk about his cancer joury Journey why he didn't pray for healing this is a he didn't pray for healing this is a he didn't pray for healing this is a really powerful personal conversation I really powerful personal conversation I really powerful personal conversation I think you're going to love if you're new think you're going to love if you're new think you're going to love if you're new to the podcast hey make sure you to the podcast hey make sure you to the podcast hey make sure you subscribe you'll never miss an episode subscribe you'll never miss an episode subscribe you'll never miss an episode and if you enjoy it please like and and if you enjoy it please like and and if you enjoy it please like and leave a comment to join in the leave a comment to join in the leave a comment to join in the conversation about well the really conversation about well the really conversation about well the really personal topics we cover in this personal topics we cover in this personal topics we cover in this interview and now a word from today's interview and now a word from today's interview and now a word from today's sponsors and then we'll dive into my sponsors and then we'll dive into my sponsors and then we'll dive into my conversation with Tyler ston this conversation with Tyler ston this conversation with Tyler ston this episode is brought to you by Glue plus episode is brought to you by Glue plus episode is brought to you by Glue plus so as a leader you focus on connection so as a leader you focus on connection so as a leader you focus on connection whether it's building relationships with

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professionals ble makes delegating tasks professionals ble makes delegating tasks simple whether you're looking for simple whether you're looking for simple whether you're looking for accounting marketing or administrative accounting marketing or administrative accounting marketing or administrative support ble has the flexible solution to support ble has the flexible solution to support ble has the flexible solution to meet your needs ready to save time and meet your needs ready to save time and meet your needs ready to save time and boost your impact and create a clear boost your impact and create a clear boost your impact and create a clear path toward your vision take advantage path toward your vision take advantage path toward your vision take advantage of Bay's special offer this month and of Bay's special offer this month and of Bay's special offer this month and download their book delegate to elevate download their book delegate to elevate download their book delegate to elevate for free with this guide you'll learn for free with this guide you'll learn for free with this guide you'll learn how to focus on your strengths delegate how to focus on your strengths delegate how to focus on your strengths delegate your weaknesses and become the best your weaknesses and become the best your weaknesses and become the best leader you can be so to claim this offer leader you can be so to claim this offer leader you can be so to claim this offer text the word Carrie my name Cy to 55123 text the word Carrie my name Cy to 55123 text the word Carrie my name Cy to 55123 for your free copy today that's Carrie C for your free copy today that's Carrie C for your free copy today that's Carrie C Y to Y to Y to 55123 Tyler welcome back to the podcast 55123 Tyler welcome back to the podcast 55123 Tyler welcome back to the podcast it's really a delight to be with you it's really a delight to be with you it's really a delight to be with you again thank you Carrie I'm so uh excited again thank you Carrie I'm so uh excited again thank you Carrie I'm so uh excited to chat with you man yeah well uh you've to chat with you man yeah well uh you've to chat with you man yeah well uh you've got your first few years as lead Pastor got your first few years as lead Pastor got your first few years as lead Pastor Bridgetown church under your belt we'll Bridgetown church under your belt we'll Bridgetown church under your belt we'll come back to that but you've also had come back to that but you've also had come back to that but you've also had probably I imagine one of the most probably I imagine one of the most probably I imagine one of the most surprising years anybody could have uh surprising years anybody could have uh surprising years anybody could have uh when they're young and really enjoying when they're young and really enjoying when they're young and really enjoying life and life and life and Leadership and you found yourself Leadership and you found yourself Leadership and you found yourself diagnosed with uh cancer it's it's your diagnosed with uh cancer it's it's your diagnosed with uh cancer it's it's your health um you're very public about what health um you're very public about what health um you're very public about what happened I know a lot of people were happened I know a lot of people were happened I know a lot of people were praying for you tracking with you can praying for you tracking with you can praying for you tracking with you can you give us a little bit of the journey you give us a little bit of the journey you give us a little bit of the journey and maybe an update as to where you are and maybe an update as to where you are and maybe an update as to where you are as as as 2025 kind of 2025 kind of 2025 kind of unfolds yeah I I received my initial

unfolds yeah I I received my initial unfolds yeah I I received my initial diagnosis I it was in late April I of diagnosis I it was in late April I of diagnosis I it was in late April I of 23 and I had a tumor removed it was 23 and I had a tumor removed it was 23 and I had a tumor removed it was really shocking but really shocking but really shocking but biopsy revealed that they got all of it biopsy revealed that they got all of it biopsy revealed that they got all of it and it seemed like I had like the and it seemed like I had like the and it seemed like I had like the shortest cancer Journey that anyone's shortest cancer Journey that anyone's shortest cancer Journey that anyone's ever had where it was you know I was ever had where it was you know I was ever had where it was you know I was going in for a routine physical and I going in for a routine physical and I going in for a routine physical and I was rushed to the hospital and told we was rushed to the hospital and told we was rushed to the hospital and told we need to operate on you today was calling need to operate on you today was calling need to operate on you today was calling my wife saying hey I my wife saying hey I my wife saying hey I um think you might want to come here I um think you might want to come here I um think you might want to come here I have cancer and and then one thing led have cancer and and then one thing led have cancer and and then one thing led to another and uh in a matter of less to another and uh in a matter of less to another and uh in a matter of less than just under two weeks I was I was than just under two weeks I was I was than just under two weeks I was I was told you're good um and so uh told you're good um and so uh told you're good um and so uh that was something that those closest to that was something that those closest to that was something that those closest to me knew those who lead the church with me knew those who lead the church with me knew those who lead the church with me here knew and everything we chose not me here knew and everything we chose not me here knew and everything we chose not to share publicly because I missed one to share publicly because I missed one to share publicly because I missed one Sunday and that was it um you know it Sunday and that was it um you know it Sunday and that was it um you know it was essentially like getting the flu in was essentially like getting the flu in was essentially like getting the flu in terms of the way I was showing up to the terms of the way I was showing up to the terms of the way I was showing up to the congregation um most congregation um most congregation um most publicly um and publicly um and publicly um and then a matter in a matter matter of then a matter in a matter matter of then a matter in a matter matter of about six months uh was having these about six months uh was having these about six months uh was having these really sharp abdominal really sharp abdominal really sharp abdominal pains and needed to go back to see my

pains and needed to go back to see my pains and needed to go back to see my previous previous previous oncologist that I had seen only once and oncologist that I had seen only once and oncologist that I had seen only once and it turned out that the cancer had spread it turned out that the cancer had spread it turned out that the cancer had spread really aggressively I had gone from really aggressively I had gone from really aggressively I had gone from stage one to the equivalent to you know stage one to the equivalent to you know stage one to the equivalent to you know the common terminology would be stage the common terminology would be stage the common terminology would be stage four and which is which is I think from four and which is which is I think from four and which is which is I think from the little I know about cancellor the little I know about cancellor the little I know about cancellor terminal terminal terminal right well it's just the most advanced right well it's just the most advanced right well it's just the most advanced stage it's like this is the highest risk stage it's like this is the highest risk stage it's like this is the highest risk that variety of cancer gets yeah like that variety of cancer gets yeah like that variety of cancer gets yeah like you're as bad as people get who have you're as bad as people get who have you're as bad as people get who have this and it's touching multiple vital this and it's touching multiple vital this and it's touching multiple vital organs and there's multiple tumors so we organs and there's multiple tumors so we organs and there's multiple tumors so we can't operate on you we have to do can't operate on you we have to do can't operate on you we have to do chemotherapy and so I became the chemotherapy and so I became the chemotherapy and so I became the youngest patient in this particular youngest patient in this particular youngest patient in this particular cancer practice and also the one with cancer practice and also the one with cancer practice and also the one with the most aggressive form of treatment the most aggressive form of treatment the most aggressive form of treatment and that's how I wrote out the next and that's how I wrote out the next and that's how I wrote out the next several months of My Life several months of My Life several months of My Life um and it um and it um and it was the was the was the most difficult season I've ever lived most difficult season I've ever lived most difficult season I've ever lived through and probably the most through and probably the most through and probably the most spiritually spiritually spiritually transformative um we're actually talking transformative um we're actually talking transformative um we're actually talking today on my 37th birthday today on my 37th birthday today on my 37th birthday happy birthday Tyler thanks thanks so happy birthday Tyler thanks thanks so happy birthday Tyler thanks thanks so I've I've thought a lot early this I've I've thought a lot early this I've I've thought a lot early this morning about like wow year

morning about like wow year morning about like wow year 36 was a Wilderness year I would never 36 was a Wilderness year I would never 36 was a Wilderness year I would never want to relive but it also feels like want to relive but it also feels like want to relive but it also feels like one of the years of my life that I'm not one of the years of my life that I'm not one of the years of my life that I'm not sure who I would be had I not walked sure who I would be had I not walked sure who I would be had I not walked through um and so what I would say is through um and so what I would say is through um and so what I would say is that the summary of my cancer Journey that the summary of my cancer Journey that the summary of my cancer Journey thus far is that God did not thus far is that God did not thus far is that God did not remove my Illness but he did redeem it remove my Illness but he did redeem it remove my Illness but he did redeem it um and has gone on redeeming it yeah you shared an update a few it yeah you shared an update a few months ago with your church that uh months ago with your church that uh months ago with your church that uh right can you I don't want to get the right can you I don't want to get the right can you I don't want to get the details wrong but basically you had details wrong but basically you had details wrong but basically you had emerged out of that period of treatment emerged out of that period of treatment emerged out of that period of treatment and did you emerge cancer-free or how and did you emerge cancer-free or how and did you emerge cancer-free or how did how did they describe that did how did they describe that did how did they describe that yeah they describe it as cancer free um yeah they describe it as cancer free um yeah they describe it as cancer free um and that's what I am like I don't have and that's what I am like I don't have and that's what I am like I don't have any um visible like medically detectable any um visible like medically detectable any um visible like medically detectable mass of multiplying cancer cells and mass of multiplying cancer cells and mass of multiplying cancer cells and every variety of cancer you know it's every variety of cancer you know it's every variety of cancer you know it's such a complicated thing to talk about such a complicated thing to talk about such a complicated thing to talk about even when you say you're in chemotherapy even when you say you're in chemotherapy even when you say you're in chemotherapy there's over 212 varieties of there's over 212 varieties of there's over 212 varieties of chemotherapy and so um or there are 212 chemotherapy and so um or there are 212 chemotherapy and so um or there are 212 excuse me and so it means so many excuse me and so it means so many excuse me and so it means so many different things for different people different things for different people different things for different people but my very specific cancer diagnosis is but my very specific cancer diagnosis is but my very specific cancer diagnosis is one where one where one where recurrence is uh recurrence of tumors recurrence is uh recurrence of tumors recurrence is uh recurrence of tumors that is like regrowth is not entirely

that is like regrowth is not entirely that is like regrowth is not entirely uncommon but if you make it to a 2ear uncommon but if you make it to a 2ear uncommon but if you make it to a 2ear mark then mark then mark then statistically you it's very uh becomes statistically you it's very uh becomes statistically you it's very uh becomes very rare and if you make it to a very rare and if you make it to a very rare and if you make it to a five-year Mark um then you're basically five-year Mark um then you're basically five-year Mark um then you're basically like I've got the same chance of getting like I've got the same chance of getting like I've got the same chance of getting cancer as anybody else again um and so cancer as anybody else again um and so cancer as anybody else again um and so I'm in a two-year window that where I I'm in a two-year window that where I I'm in a two-year window that where I still very still very still very regularly um receive treatment and see regularly um receive treatment and see regularly um receive treatment and see an oncologist however it's not an oncologist however it's not an oncologist however it's not chemotherapy treatment it doesn't uh chemotherapy treatment it doesn't uh chemotherapy treatment it doesn't uh debilitate me in any way I've been able debilitate me in any way I've been able debilitate me in any way I've been able to recover I feel healthy I feel like to recover I feel healthy I feel like to recover I feel healthy I feel like myself and I just have these regular myself and I just have these regular myself and I just have these regular doctor's visits that are a part of my doctor's visits that are a part of my doctor's visits that are a part of my life now that weren't before but um man life now that weren't before but um man life now that weren't before but um man I'm celebrating and Fe I feel fully I'm celebrating and Fe I feel fully I'm celebrating and Fe I feel fully alive again which is an amazing feeling alive again which is an amazing feeling alive again which is an amazing feeling you forget what a or or I would say I've you forget what a or or I would say I've you forget what a or or I would say I've discovered what a gift it is to be discovered what a gift it is to be discovered what a gift it is to be healthy um and I still thank God for healthy um and I still thank God for healthy um and I still thank God for that every day that I feel well uh just that every day that I feel well uh just that every day that I feel well uh just thank him for the chance to live another thank him for the chance to live another thank him for the chance to live another day the chance to feel good to want to day the chance to feel good to want to day the chance to feel good to want to get up you know all those sorts of get up you know all those sorts of get up you know all those sorts of things you said it was the most things you said it was the most things you said it was the most difficult period of your life hands down difficult period of your life hands down difficult period of your life hands down unimaginably difficult and yet also the unimaginably difficult and yet also the unimaginably difficult and yet also the most transformative I'd love to break most transformative I'd love to break most transformative I'd love to break that down into those two categories if that down into those two categories if that down into those two categories if if you would if you would if you would Tyler um I haven't been on that Journey

Tyler um I haven't been on that Journey Tyler um I haven't been on that Journey myself never been diagnosed with a major myself never been diagnosed with a major myself never been diagnosed with a major disease uh I would love for you to take disease uh I would love for you to take disease uh I would love for you to take us back to the most difficult part and us back to the most difficult part and us back to the most difficult part and then we'll talk about the most then we'll talk about the most then we'll talk about the most transformative so what what happened transformative so what what happened transformative so what what happened when that diagnosis came the second one when that diagnosis came the second one when that diagnosis came the second one I guess because you said the first one I guess because you said the first one I guess because you said the first one was like having the flu the second one was like having the flu the second one was like having the flu the second one was life was life was life altering yeah I altering yeah I altering yeah I mean I would say the difficulty for me mean I would say the difficulty for me mean I would say the difficulty for me and everyone would experience these and everyone would experience these and everyone would experience these things differently but for things differently but for things differently but for me just not feeling extremely ill constantly for not feeling extremely ill constantly for 4 months is just difficult 4 months is just difficult 4 months is just difficult and lots of people deal with stuff like and lots of people deal with stuff like and lots of people deal with stuff like that lots of people deal with far more that lots of people deal with far more that lots of people deal with far more debilitating diagnosises than the one debilitating diagnosises than the one debilitating diagnosises than the one that I have that I have that I have and and so it's not you know we're all and and so it's not you know we're all and and so it's not you know we're all dealt a different hand but I I had never dealt a different hand but I I had never dealt a different hand but I I had never gone through gone through gone through anything similar to that in any way and anything similar to that in any way and anything similar to that in any way and so that was just difficult if you're for so that was just difficult if you're for so that was just difficult if you're for someone who is used to feeling healthy someone who is used to feeling healthy someone who is used to feeling healthy and strong and alive to attempt to and strong and alive to attempt to and strong and alive to attempt to maintain life because that that's the maintain life because that that's the maintain life because that that's the medical counsel it's like medical counsel it's like medical counsel it's like hey you know a unique thing about hey you know a unique thing about hey you know a unique thing about chemotherapy is that you're not sick chemotherapy is that you're not sick chemotherapy is that you're not sick you're being poisoned um you know

you're being poisoned um you know you're being poisoned um you know chemotherapy is poison it's killing chemotherapy is poison it's killing chemotherapy is poison it's killing everything that grows everything living everything that grows everything living everything that grows everything living inside you the fastest multiplying thing inside you the fastest multiplying thing inside you the fastest multiplying thing inside me was cancer that was killing me inside me was cancer that was killing me inside me was cancer that was killing me so the the way the oncolog explained it so the the way the oncolog explained it so the the way the oncolog explained it to me as he was like it's going to feel to me as he was like it's going to feel to me as he was like it's going to feel like we're killing you slowly because we like we're killing you slowly because we like we're killing you slowly because we are but we're just going to stop killing are but we're just going to stop killing are but we're just going to stop killing you after we killed the thing that's you after we killed the thing that's you after we killed the thing that's killing you quickly and and then you'll killing you quickly and and then you'll killing you quickly and and then you'll recover and I was like recover and I was like recover and I was like great and um and you know if if I was great and um and you know if if I was great and um and you know if if I was born a generation ago I would have died born a generation ago I would have died born a generation ago I would have died a young man in my 30s my wife would have a young man in my 30s my wife would have a young man in my 30s my wife would have you know grown old without me and my you know grown old without me and my you know grown old without me and my children would have grown up without me children would have grown up without me children would have grown up without me fathering them so I was every day that I fathering them so I was every day that I fathering them so I was every day that I felt sick I was thanking God that I felt felt sick I was thanking God that I felt felt sick I was thanking God that I felt sick because I knew that feeling sick sick because I knew that feeling sick sick because I knew that feeling sick meant that I was getting better in in a meant that I was getting better in in a meant that I was getting better in in a strange way um and yet it was still just strange way um and yet it was still just strange way um and yet it was still just terribly uncomfortable and I had never terribly uncomfortable and I had never terribly uncomfortable and I had never been subjected to that before so that been subjected to that before so that been subjected to that before so that was difficult and then I I think that on was difficult and then I I think that on was difficult and then I I think that on a more emotional a more emotional a more emotional level and and this is level and and this is level and and this is like both the transformative and the like both the transformative and the like both the transformative and the difficult um I am someone who had gotten difficult um I am someone who had gotten difficult um I am someone who had gotten used to showing up to people and the used to showing up to people and the used to showing up to people and the different environments in my life different environments in my life different environments in my life through my through my through my strengths um you know the way that I strengths um you know the way that I strengths um you know the way that I have related to the body of Christ the

have related to the body of Christ the have related to the body of Christ the people of God throughout my adult life I people of God throughout my adult life I people of God throughout my adult life I I became the lead pastor of a church I became the lead pastor of a church I became the lead pastor of a church that I planted with a team of that I planted with a team of that I planted with a team of people um when I was people um when I was people um when I was 26 so since I was 26 um 26 so since I was 26 um 26 so since I was 26 um I've known the church primarily as I've known the church primarily as I've known the church primarily as people to whom most publicly I am people to whom most publicly I am people to whom most publicly I am relating through my strengths of you relating through my strengths of you relating through my strengths of you know leadership and teacher and those know leadership and teacher and those know leadership and teacher and those sorts of things and suddenly I'm showing sorts of things and suddenly I'm showing sorts of things and suddenly I'm showing up to those people through my up to those people through my up to those people through my weakness um and that opened up space for weakness um and that opened up space for weakness um and that opened up space for God to love me in ways that I haven't God to love me in ways that I haven't God to love me in ways that I haven't been loved um and that were deeply been loved um and that were deeply been loved um and that were deeply healing and it was really hard and same healing and it was really hard and same healing and it was really hard and same to my family same to my friendships you to my family same to my friendships you to my family same to my friendships you know suddenly I was just weak and all I know suddenly I was just weak and all I know suddenly I was just weak and all I could offer to people was my weakness could offer to people was my weakness could offer to people was my weakness and God taught me things through that and God taught me things through that and God taught me things through that that I'm still getting words for that that I'm still getting words for that that I'm still getting words for that um that I think I'll go on parsing out um that I think I'll go on parsing out um that I think I'll go on parsing out for for for years and that was years and that was years and that was hard you know the I would say hard you know the I would say hard you know the I would say um if I think about the ministry of um if I think about the ministry of um if I think about the ministry of Jesus I imagine that the sort of healing Jesus I imagine that the sort of healing Jesus I imagine that the sort of healing that he offered to others through the that he offered to others through the that he offered to others through the cross was more hard to give than the cross was more hard to give than the cross was more hard to give than the healing he offered to The Blind by healing he offered to The Blind by healing he offered to The Blind by spitting into mud and rubbing it on spitting into mud and rubbing it on spitting into mud and rubbing it on their eyes you know the the

their eyes you know the the their eyes you know the the miraculous miraculous miraculous um the miraculous is um the miraculous is um the miraculous is fun fun fun and light and easy and it's supposed to and light and easy and it's supposed to and light and easy and it's supposed to be that because it's Heaven touching be that because it's Heaven touching be that because it's Heaven touching and suffering is hard but Redemptive and and suffering is hard but Redemptive and and suffering is hard but Redemptive and it's supposed to be that because it's it's supposed to be that because it's it's supposed to be that because it's not a part of God's design but he's so not a part of God's design but he's so not a part of God's design but he's so good that it is a part of his renewal so good that it is a part of his renewal so good that it is a part of his renewal so that that would be my summary of the that that would be my summary of the that that would be my summary of the difficult part I'd love to break down a difficult part I'd love to break down a difficult part I'd love to break down a little bit that's such little bit that's such little bit that's such a helpful way to say it leading through a helpful way to say it leading through a helpful way to say it leading through your strengths I mean that kind of is your strengths I mean that kind of is your strengths I mean that kind of is leadership and yet leadership and yet leadership and yet you know I know enough about you and you know I know enough about you and you know I know enough about you and people go back to our first first people go back to our first first people go back to our first first conversation you know you're no stranger conversation you know you're no stranger conversation you know you're no stranger to uh the spiritual traditions of our to uh the spiritual traditions of our to uh the spiritual traditions of our fathers and mothers no stranger to fathers and mothers no stranger to fathers and mothers no stranger to submission no stranger to prayer it's submission no stranger to prayer it's submission no stranger to prayer it's not like you were large and in charge not like you were large and in charge not like you were large and in charge and all of a sudden uh hit by a truck and all of a sudden uh hit by a truck and all of a sudden uh hit by a truck you know you you had intentionally you know you you had intentionally you know you you had intentionally embraced from what I can tell on the embraced from what I can tell on the embraced from what I can tell on the outside looking in a life of servitude a outside looking in a life of servitude a outside looking in a life of servitude a life of humility a life of attempt life of humility a life of attempt life of humility a life of attempt tempting to surrender and tempting to surrender and tempting to surrender and submit but yet the phrase you use is submit but yet the phrase you use is submit but yet the phrase you use is leading out of your strengths to your leading out of your strengths to your leading out of your strengths to your weaknesses what what shifted when you weaknesses what what shifted when you weaknesses what what shifted when you lost your strength I don't know if I strength I don't know if I shifted from leading out of my strengths

shifted from leading out of my strengths shifted from leading out of my strengths to my weaknesses with any intention or to my weaknesses with any intention or to my weaknesses with any intention or nobility I just only had weakness so um nobility I just only had weakness so um nobility I just only had weakness so um you know the counsel that I was given you know the counsel that I was given you know the counsel that I was given and and I was beginning to mention this and and I was beginning to mention this and and I was beginning to mention this before actually but because you're not before actually but because you're not before actually but because you're not sick you're being poisoned there isn't sick you're being poisoned there isn't sick you're being poisoned there isn't really like a way to go through really like a way to go through really like a way to go through chemotherapy that makes it uh that makes chemotherapy that makes it uh that makes chemotherapy that makes it uh that makes you recover quicker you know it's like you recover quicker you know it's like you recover quicker you know it's like if you're sick you should rest shouldn't if you're sick you should rest shouldn't if you're sick you should rest shouldn't push push push yourself um but if you're going through yourself um but if you're going through yourself um but if you're going through chemotherapy then you're just going to chemotherapy then you're just going to chemotherapy then you're just going to feel feel feel awful and so the counsel that I was awful and so the counsel that I was awful and so the counsel that I was given was maintain your ordinary life as given was maintain your ordinary life as given was maintain your ordinary life as much as you can and don't push yourself much as you can and don't push yourself much as you can and don't push yourself beyond your limits you know just like beyond your limits you know just like beyond your limits you know just like admit it when you you can't so admit it when you you can't so admit it when you you can't so Mycologist said like yeah go ahead and Mycologist said like yeah go ahead and Mycologist said like yeah go ahead and preach uh and you won't always be able preach uh and you won't always be able preach uh and you won't always be able to go ahead and go to work and you won't to go ahead and go to work and you won't to go ahead and go to work and you won't always be able to you know you just kind always be able to you know you just kind always be able to you know you just kind of have to ride these waves and so it's of have to ride these waves and so it's of have to ride these waves and so it's really an exercise of submission you really an exercise of submission you really an exercise of submission you know I was used to being able to order know I was used to being able to order know I was used to being able to order my life and yeah suddenly um I couldn't my life and yeah suddenly um I couldn't my life and yeah suddenly um I couldn't I my life was entirely being ordered for I my life was entirely being ordered for I my life was entirely being ordered for me by forces outside of my control but me by forces outside of my control but me by forces outside of my control but to whom I was profoundly subject to and to whom I was profoundly subject to and to whom I was profoundly subject to and all the illusion of being someone living all the illusion of being someone living all the illusion of being someone living uh at this time in the western

uh at this time in the western uh at this time in the western world uh who had been dealt a pretty world uh who had been dealt a pretty world uh who had been dealt a pretty good hand up to this point that that can good hand up to this point that that can good hand up to this point that that can give you a strong give you a strong give you a strong illusion of your own control and that illusion of your own control and that illusion of your own control and that that was wiped away um and so I think that was wiped away um and so I think that was wiped away um and so I think the medium that I had to experience God the medium that I had to experience God the medium that I had to experience God was through my weakness and was through my weakness and was through my weakness and therefore the The Vessel through which I therefore the The Vessel through which I therefore the The Vessel through which I knew to relate to other people and to knew to relate to other people and to knew to relate to other people and to offer Jesus was through weakness I offer Jesus was through weakness I offer Jesus was through weakness I happen to be going through all this happen to be going through all this happen to be going through all this throughout the season of Lent which is throughout the season of Lent which is throughout the season of Lent which is the season within the Christian year the season within the Christian year the season within the Christian year when the global Church identifies with when the global Church identifies with when the global Church identifies with Christ tempt suffering and death and so Christ tempt suffering and death and so Christ tempt suffering and death and so it it was a it it was a it it was a profoundly deep season of spiritual profoundly deep season of spiritual profoundly deep season of spiritual reflection as I was thinking about Jesus reflection as I was thinking about Jesus reflection as I was thinking about Jesus as the suffering servant and I'm I'm as the suffering servant and I'm I'm as the suffering servant and I'm I'm sitting in a Cancer Ward of a hospital sitting in a Cancer Ward of a hospital sitting in a Cancer Ward of a hospital most of the most of the most of the time and the Cancer Ward of a hospital time and the Cancer Ward of a hospital time and the Cancer Ward of a hospital is a unique place because hospitals are is a unique place because hospitals are is a unique place because hospitals are very hectic and busy you know there's very hectic and busy you know there's very hectic and busy you know there's emergencies there's people being r emergencies there's people being r emergencies there's people being r rushed in and out all the time nurses rushed in and out all the time nurses rushed in and out all the time nurses and doctors have more patients to see and doctors have more patients to see and doctors have more patients to see than they can get to and so they're than they can get to and so they're than they can get to and so they're flying in and out of flying in and out of flying in and out of rooms but in a Cancer rooms but in a Cancer rooms but in a Cancer Ward um no one's diagnosis is producing Ward um no one's diagnosis is producing Ward um no one's diagnosis is producing much much much urgency you're spending a profound

urgency you're spending a profound urgency you're spending a profound amount of time sitting in an infusion amount of time sitting in an infusion amount of time sitting in an infusion unit full of suffering unit full of suffering unit full of suffering people um and yet there are no people um and yet there are no people um and yet there are no emergencies and no one's in a hurry and emergencies and no one's in a hurry and emergencies and no one's in a hurry and so I just got to know very well a team so I just got to know very well a team so I just got to know very well a team of of of nurses um as as the person who spent the nurses um as as the person who spent the nurses um as as the person who spent the most time there because of my most time there because of my most time there because of my treatment I I knew these nurses very treatment I I knew these nurses very treatment I I knew these nurses very well who spent their lives just well who spent their lives just well who spent their lives just attending to the suffering slowly attending to the suffering slowly attending to the suffering slowly patiently how are you patiently how are you patiently how are you today um how can I help you all the time today um how can I help you all the time today um how can I help you all the time in the world world and that was a in the world world and that was a in the world world and that was a profound time of reflection on profound time of reflection on profound time of reflection on Jesus attending to the suffering through Jesus attending to the suffering through Jesus attending to the suffering through his suffering with all the time in the his suffering with all the time in the his suffering with all the time in the world in an unhurried world in an unhurried world in an unhurried way way way um and and so you know those were sort um and and so you know those were sort um and and so you know those were sort of the metaphors that I was tracing as I of the metaphors that I was tracing as I of the metaphors that I was tracing as I was jotting down a sermon for this was jotting down a sermon for this was jotting down a sermon for this Sunday from that infusion unit and that Sunday from that infusion unit and that Sunday from that infusion unit and that kind of thing and so I think I was kind of thing and so I think I was kind of thing and so I think I was profoundly weak and I was losing profoundly weak and I was losing profoundly weak and I was losing everything except Christ in front of everything except Christ in front of everything except Christ in front of everyone you know I was losing my everyone you know I was losing my everyone you know I was losing my strength losing my ability to control my strength losing my ability to control my strength losing my ability to control my world to much of any degree I was losing world to much of any degree I was losing world to much of any degree I was losing my looks or at least the ability to my looks or at least the ability to my looks or at least the ability to control how I look as my eyebrows and

control how I look as my eyebrows and control how I look as my eyebrows and eyelashes were falling out and you know eyelashes were falling out and you know eyelashes were falling out and you know everything else uh and I was losing my everything else uh and I was losing my everything else uh and I was losing my ability ability ability to uh show up in many of the ways I'd to uh show up in many of the ways I'd to uh show up in many of the ways I'd gotten used to showing up as a gotten used to showing up as a gotten used to showing up as a pastor pastor pastor and and yet that I and and yet that I and and yet that I think wasn't in many ways a profound think wasn't in many ways a profound think wasn't in many ways a profound offering for me to be able to give offering for me to be able to give offering for me to be able to give because it acquainted me with because it acquainted me with because it acquainted me with Jesus not as The Miracle Worker but as Jesus not as The Miracle Worker but as Jesus not as The Miracle Worker but as the suffering servant the suffering servant the suffering servant who was able to offer healing to others who was able to offer healing to others who was able to offer healing to others through his own suffering the difference through his own suffering the difference through his own suffering the difference in his and mine is he willingly chose in his and mine is he willingly chose in his and mine is he willingly chose his because he didn't deserve it and I his because he didn't deserve it and I his because he didn't deserve it and I did not mine was a consequence did not mine was a consequence did not mine was a consequence of this sin infected world that I'm as of this sin infected world that I'm as of this sin infected world that I'm as complicit in as anybody else and yet complicit in as anybody else and yet complicit in as anybody else and yet because of Jesus mine can be Redemptive because of Jesus mine can be Redemptive because of Jesus mine can be Redemptive in the lives of others just like his and in the lives of others just like his and in the lives of others just like his and I got to experience some of that and I got to experience some of that and I got to experience some of that and that I think was profound for me the way you describe it is profound me the way you describe it is profound Tyler thank you thank you for that what Tyler thank you thank you for that what Tyler thank you thank you for that what was it what was it like as your strength was it what was it like as your strength was it what was it like as your strength returned is there a piece of you that is returned is there a piece of you that is returned is there a piece of you that is different now because there's leading different now because there's leading different now because there's leading out of you know bringing your strengths

out of you know bringing your strengths out of you know bringing your strengths to people versus bringing your weakness to people versus bringing your weakness to people versus bringing your weakness to people you know as your strength to people you know as your strength to people you know as your strength returned to your body and you got the returned to your body and you got the returned to your body and you got the diagnosis that you're cancer free is diagnosis that you're cancer free is diagnosis that you're cancer free is that impacting how you live how you lead that impacting how you live how you lead that impacting how you live how you lead what's what's different what's what's different what's what's different now sure hope it is now sure hope it is now sure hope it is um I would say this before I receive my um I would say this before I receive my um I would say this before I receive my diagnosis um I read uh David Brook's diagnosis um I read uh David Brook's diagnosis um I read uh David Brook's newest book how to know a person I newest book how to know a person I newest book how to know a person I haven't read that wow oh it just it's haven't read that wow oh it just it's haven't read that wow oh it just it's funny because I've talked to a few other funny because I've talked to a few other funny because I've talked to a few other people about it no one seems to have people about it no one seems to have people about it no one seems to have enjoyed it nearly as much as me um but enjoyed it nearly as much as me um but enjoyed it nearly as much as me um but it absolutely schooled me it absolutely schooled me it absolutely schooled me um there was this one little bit uh um there was this one little bit uh um there was this one little bit uh where where where he he used the illustration of dropping he he used the illustration of dropping he he used the illustration of dropping your kids off at your kids off at your kids off at school which is something I often do school which is something I often do school which is something I often do I've got an 8 six and 2y old that are I've got an 8 six and 2y old that are I've got an 8 six and 2y old that are all in School my 2-year-old's in all in School my 2-year-old's in all in School my 2-year-old's in preschool preschool preschool and and he you know he basically made and and he you know he basically made and and he you know he basically made the point like hey if if the primary way the point like hey if if the primary way the point like hey if if the primary way that you relate to the world is that you relate to the world is that you relate to the world is efficiently then dropping the kids off efficiently then dropping the kids off efficiently then dropping the kids off at school is a task to accomplish as at school is a task to accomplish as at school is a task to accomplish as quickly as possible and you will be a quickly as possible and you will be a quickly as possible and you will be a ship passing in the night with the other ship passing in the night with the other ship passing in the night with the other parents there um because you have an

parents there um because you have an parents there um because you have an agenda you have things to do and to agenda you have things to do and to agenda you have things to do and to accomplish in your day and there's a accomplish in your day and there's a accomplish in your day and there's a limited amount of time to get that done limited amount of time to get that done limited amount of time to get that done and this isn't one of those things so and this isn't one of those things so and this isn't one of those things so you're trying to get this done so you you're trying to get this done so you you're trying to get this done so you can get on to the can get on to the can get on to the day purpose day purpose day purpose and um but if you relate to the world and um but if you relate to the world and um but if you relate to the world primarily relationally rather than primarily relationally rather than primarily relationally rather than efficiently then you will know your efficiently then you will know your efficiently then you will know your neighbors and you will take time to know neighbors and you will take time to know neighbors and you will take time to know the stories of the other parents and to the stories of the other parents and to the stories of the other parents and to interact with them because this is very interact with them because this is very interact with them because this is very much a part of your day this is your much a part of your day this is your much a part of your day this is your purpose purpose purpose and I read that and I wept and wept and and I read that and I wept and wept and and I read that and I wept and wept and wept um I I guess I would say it this way um I I guess I would say it this way because because because I I I read the Bible and pray for an hour on read the Bible and pray for an hour on read the Bible and pray for an hour on my porch every morning and my day is my porch every morning and my day is my porch every morning and my day is ordered according to a monastic rhythm ordered according to a monastic rhythm ordered according to a monastic rhythm of retreat in in prayer and then of retreat in in prayer and then of retreat in in prayer and then returning to work and I uh know God returning to work and I uh know God returning to work and I uh know God through fasting and feasting every week through fasting and feasting every week through fasting and feasting every week as I withhold food and then Feast on the as I withhold food and then Feast on the as I withhold food and then Feast on the Sabbath and I honestly think like I live Sabbath and I honestly think like I live Sabbath and I honestly think like I live very much an urban monastic life and very much an urban monastic life and very much an urban monastic life and I've found such joy and life in I've found such joy and life in I've found such joy and life in that and I'm such an ordered person and

that and I'm such an ordered person and that and I'm such an ordered person and my wife Kiren my wife Kiren my wife Kiren is so disordered and is so disordered and is so disordered and spontaneous and she lives the furthest spontaneous and she lives the furthest spontaneous and she lives the furthest thing from a monastic thing from a monastic thing from a monastic existence uh except for the parts of me existence uh except for the parts of me existence uh except for the parts of me that she puts up with and lets become that she puts up with and lets become that she puts up with and lets become our family's our family's our family's rhythms she knows Jesus deeply and seeks rhythms she knows Jesus deeply and seeks rhythms she knows Jesus deeply and seeks him in in her own ways and through her him in in her own ways and through her him in in her own ways and through her spontaneity and she's deeply spontaneity and she's deeply spontaneity and she's deeply relational and she knew all of our relational and she knew all of our relational and she knew all of our neighbors neighbors neighbors profoundly well and all of the profoundly well and all of the profoundly well and all of the friendships that we had outside of my friendships that we had outside of my friendships that we had outside of my workplace which happens to be a church workplace which happens to be a church workplace which happens to be a church were ones that she had formed on our were ones that she had formed on our were ones that she had formed on our behalf and then I was kind of drug along behalf and then I was kind of drug along behalf and then I was kind of drug along to these kids birthday parties and to these kids birthday parties and to these kids birthday parties and weekends away with other families from weekends away with other families from weekends away with other families from school and things like that and suddenly school and things like that and suddenly school and things like that and suddenly I I I saw that there is something profoundly saw that there is something profoundly saw that there is something profoundly Jesus in the way that she relates to the Jesus in the way that she relates to the Jesus in the way that she relates to the world that I have been missing in all of world that I have been missing in all of world that I have been missing in all of my spiritual my spiritual my spiritual practice and I wanted it so practice and I wanted it so practice and I wanted it so desperately I wanted to know my purpose desperately I wanted to know my purpose desperately I wanted to know my purpose not as the seamless execution of today's not as the seamless execution of today's not as the seamless execution of today's efficient efficient efficient agenda but in becoming interruptible agenda but in becoming interruptible agenda but in becoming interruptible like Jesus because I just saw that Jesus

like Jesus because I just saw that Jesus like Jesus because I just saw that Jesus is int and interruptable and I'm is int and interruptable and I'm is int and interruptable and I'm intentional and I long to become intentional and I long to become intentional and I long to become interruptable and then I started to pray interruptable and then I started to pray interruptable and then I started to pray for that every day and then day and then suddenly the whole intentional part of suddenly the whole intentional part of suddenly the whole intentional part of me got put on the me got put on the me got put on the shelf and the only thing I had was shelf and the only thing I had was shelf and the only thing I had was relationship and all that mattered was relationship and all that mattered was relationship and all that mattered was getting back to the people that I get to getting back to the people that I get to getting back to the people that I get to spend the brief moments of my life with spend the brief moments of my life with spend the brief moments of my life with and all the things that I thought were and all the things that I thought were and all the things that I thought were important that I was working on my important that I was working on my important that I was working on my efficient agenda man it faded in an efficient agenda man it faded in an efficient agenda man it faded in an instant in my instant in my instant in my priorities and I just wanted another priorities and I just wanted another priorities and I just wanted another chance to know the world like Kirsten chance to know the world like Kirsten chance to know the world like Kirsten does does does and and I've been granted that and and and I've been granted that and and and I've been granted that and I still live like an urban monk because I still live like an urban monk because I still live like an urban monk because all those things are profoundly good all those things are profoundly good all those things are profoundly good ways of attuning to God um but hopefully ways of attuning to God um but hopefully ways of attuning to God um but hopefully those are becoming vessels through which those are becoming vessels through which those are becoming vessels through which I attune to a slower and more relational I attune to a slower and more relational I attune to a slower and more relational way of being as I move about the world I way of being as I move about the world I way of being as I move about the world I hopefully my intentionality is helping hopefully my intentionality is helping hopefully my intentionality is helping me be me be me be interruptible not preventing me from it interruptible not preventing me from it interruptible not preventing me from it and and I would say that in my intention

and and I would say that in my intention and and I would say that in my intention and in my conversation with god and in and in my conversation with god and in and in my conversation with god and in my estimation of my estimation of my estimation of myself I am inching toward that way of myself I am inching toward that way of myself I am inching toward that way of being in a two steps forward one step being in a two steps forward one step being in a two steps forward one step back stumbling and wandering sort of way back stumbling and wandering sort of way back stumbling and wandering sort of way but being Guided by the rod and the but being Guided by the rod and the but being Guided by the rod and the staff of the Good staff of the Good staff of the Good Shepherd and that's probably the way Shepherd and that's probably the way Shepherd and that's probably the way that I'm different now than I was before that I'm different now than I was before that I'm different now than I was before this it's both moving and this it's both moving and this it's both moving and convicting very convicting very convicting very convicting what did you learn about convicting what did you learn about convicting what did you learn about community and the church during this community and the church during this community and the church during this period of your illness probably the incredible medium illness probably the incredible medium the community can be for the love of the community can be for the love of the community can be for the love of God God God uh story that I uh story that I uh story that I tell that it's like a marked out moment tell that it's like a marked out moment tell that it's like a marked out moment in my mind is one where a close friend in my mind is one where a close friend in my mind is one where a close friend of mine in the of mine in the of mine in the church uh came and sat with me and church uh came and sat with me and church uh came and sat with me and brought some reading material along not brought some reading material along not brought some reading material along not for him but for me he had picked out for him but for me he had picked out for him but for me he had picked out Psalms and these old devotional Classics Psalms and these old devotional Classics Psalms and these old devotional Classics he knew I'd love he knew I'd love he knew I'd love and because of my particular treatment and because of my particular treatment and because of my particular treatment flow I was at my lowest point I couldn't flow I was at my lowest point I couldn't flow I was at my lowest point I couldn't really open my eyes or lift up my head I really open my eyes or lift up my head I really open my eyes or lift up my head I was just incredibly ill and he just sat

was just incredibly ill and he just sat was just incredibly ill and he just sat with me I I received treatment for in with me I I received treatment for in with me I I received treatment for in five hour sessions so I would sit there five hour sessions so I would sit there five hour sessions so I would sit there for five hours at a time and he just for five hours at a time and he just for five hours at a time and he just read over me for five read over me for five read over me for five hours um when I couldn't open my eyes to hours um when I couldn't open my eyes to hours um when I couldn't open my eyes to read for read for read for myself and I've just thought a lot about myself and I've just thought a lot about myself and I've just thought a lot about how if I was healthy enough to open my how if I was healthy enough to open my how if I was healthy enough to open my eyes and lift up my head I never would eyes and lift up my head I never would eyes and lift up my head I never would have let him do that you know I would have let him do that you know I would have let him do that you know I would have said oh that makes me think of this have said oh that makes me think of this have said oh that makes me think of this Psalm let me read it over you and thanks Psalm let me read it over you and thanks Psalm let me read it over you and thanks for praying over me now let me pray for for praying over me now let me pray for for praying over me now let me pray for you I would have reciprocated but I was you I would have reciprocated but I was you I would have reciprocated but I was too weak to reciprocate and so I just too weak to reciprocate and so I just too weak to reciprocate and so I just received and received and received and received and received and received and received and received and received and received and somewhere along the way he received and somewhere along the way he received and somewhere along the way he became a vessel through which I knew became a vessel through which I knew became a vessel through which I knew Jesus was ministering to me and it's Jesus was ministering to me and it's Jesus was ministering to me and it's like he faded and God's love came like he faded and God's love came like he faded and God's love came through and all those years of knowing through and all those years of knowing through and all those years of knowing the truth Church through my strength the truth Church through my strength the truth Church through my strength we're being like washed in wave after we're being like washed in wave after we're being like washed in wave after wave of the love of God mediated to me wave of the love of God mediated to me wave of the love of God mediated to me through my profound through my profound through my profound weakness and that is one story of one weakness and that is one story of one weakness and that is one story of one day in chemotherapy but there was never day in chemotherapy but there was never day in chemotherapy but there was never a minute of chemotherapy that I sat a minute of chemotherapy that I sat a minute of chemotherapy that I sat Alone Alone Alone um my family and my community honestly um my family and my community honestly um my family and my community honestly my wife more profound than anyone else my wife more profound than anyone else my wife more profound than anyone else she just made sure that someone was she just made sure that someone was she just made sure that someone was always with me she said that was what always with me she said that was what always with me she said that was what she wanted she just Saidi never want you she wanted she just Saidi never want you she wanted she just Saidi never want you to be in there alone um and

to be in there alone um and to be in there alone um and so just so many people from church took so just so many people from church took so just so many people from church took days off work to come sit with me and days off work to come sit with me and days off work to come sit with me and keep me company in those five hour keep me company in those five hour keep me company in those five hour sessions and that was I did that five sessions and that was I did that five sessions and that was I did that five days a week um so it was lots and lots days a week um so it was lots and lots days a week um so it was lots and lots of people and uh that was a profound of people and uh that was a profound of people and uh that was a profound gift to receive gift to receive gift to receive and there was no one else in the Cancer and there was no one else in the Cancer and there was no one else in the Cancer Ward that had something like that going Ward that had something like that going Ward that had something like that going on for them and so I think I just on for them and so I think I just on for them and so I think I just encountered the just the encountered the just the encountered the just the unique beauty of the people of God of unique beauty of the people of God of unique beauty of the people of God of the church um and felt overwhelmed with the church um and felt overwhelmed with the church um and felt overwhelmed with gratitude that somehow my life has gratitude that somehow my life has gratitude that somehow my life has intersected with this incredible family no wonder you wept when you read family no wonder you wept when you read that David Brooks that David Brooks that David Brooks piece yeah piece yeah piece yeah interruptible wow I'm imagining Tyler interruptible wow I'm imagining Tyler interruptible wow I'm imagining Tyler and if not we can move on quickly that and if not we can move on quickly that and if not we can move on quickly that you're you know you're the director of you're you know you're the director of you're you know you're the director of 247 prayer you've made prayer not only a 247 prayer you've made prayer not only a 247 prayer you've made prayer not only a part of your life but your part of your life but your part of your life but your ministry but I imagine your prayer life ministry but I imagine your prayer life ministry but I imagine your prayer life must have been really tested challenged must have been really tested challenged must have been really tested challenged uh grown in the midst of this and it's uh grown in the midst of this and it's uh grown in the midst of this and it's one of those things too you know when one of those things too you know when one of those things too you know when you think about it theologically we you think about it theologically we you think about it theologically we believe in healing we also know healing believe in healing we also know healing believe in healing we also know healing doesn't always come the way we doesn't always come the way we doesn't always come the way we understand it how has your prayer life understand it how has your prayer life understand it how has your prayer life been transformed in the midst of of

been transformed in the midst of of been transformed in the midst of of suffering this episode is brought to you suffering this episode is brought to you suffering this episode is brought to you by church. te if you're not leaning into by church. te if you're not leaning into by church. te if you're not leaning into the world of AI and all the ways it can the world of AI and all the ways it can the world of AI and all the ways it can help your weekly workflow you're missing help your weekly workflow you're missing help your weekly workflow you're missing out so let me introduce you to church. out so let me introduce you to church. out so let me introduce you to church. te aai the latest Innovation from our te aai the latest Innovation from our te aai the latest Innovation from our friends at church. Te You probably heard friends at church. Te You probably heard friends at church. Te You probably heard of tools like chat GPT or Claude right of tools like chat GPT or Claude right of tools like chat GPT or Claude right well imagine having that same AI power well imagine having that same AI power well imagine having that same AI power but designed specifically for the church but designed specifically for the church but designed specifically for the church with faith aligned guard rails to keep with faith aligned guard rails to keep with faith aligned guard rails to keep everything rooted in Christian beliefs everything rooted in Christian beliefs everything rooted in Christian beliefs and here's the kicker church. te aai is and here's the kicker church. te aai is and here's the kicker church. te aai is completely customizable to your church completely customizable to your church completely customizable to your church add your mission and belief statements add your mission and belief statements add your mission and belief statements and it adapts to create content for your and it adapts to create content for your and it adapts to create content for your Church's unique voice imagine having an Church's unique voice imagine having an Church's unique voice imagine having an AI solution that aligns with your AI solution that aligns with your AI solution that aligns with your beliefs but it doesn't stop there it beliefs but it doesn't stop there it beliefs but it doesn't stop there it also gives you instant access to all also gives you instant access to all also gives you instant access to all your your Church's sermons if you need your your Church's sermons if you need your your Church's sermons if you need to pull a quote from last year's Easter to pull a quote from last year's Easter to pull a quote from last year's Easter Sermon done if you want inspiration from Sermon done if you want inspiration from Sermon done if you want inspiration from past sermon topics you've got it all in past sermon topics you've got it all in past sermon topics you've got it all in seconds and guess what it's an seconds and guess what it's an seconds and guess what it's an affordable tool it's a fraction of the affordable tool it's a fraction of the affordable tool it's a fraction of the cost of other AI tools out there like cost of other AI tools out there like cost of other AI tools out there like chat GPT Claude or others so to claim it chat GPT Claude or others so to claim it chat GPT Claude or others so to claim it go to church. te and enter the promo go to church. te and enter the promo go to church. te and enter the promo code carry Cy at checkout for 25% off code carry Cy at checkout for 25% off code carry Cy at checkout for 25% off for the first three months you'll be for the first three months you'll be for the first three months you'll be glad you did just use the code carry glad you did just use the code carry glad you did just use the code carry church. Tech you'll get 25% off for the church. Tech you'll get 25% off for the church. Tech you'll get 25% off for the first three months yeah I first three months yeah I first three months yeah I mean I have lots of thoughts on this I

mean I have lots of thoughts on this I mean I have lots of thoughts on this I mean I can answer that question directly mean I can answer that question directly mean I can answer that question directly but I also would but I also would but I also would say we know the healing doesn't always say we know the healing doesn't always say we know the healing doesn't always happen happen happen but we also believe in discernment which but we also believe in discernment which but we also believe in discernment which is equally a a a practice of prayer and is equally a a a practice of prayer and is equally a a a practice of prayer and so before praying for supernat so before praying for supernat so before praying for supernat healing I was praying Discerning prayer healing I was praying Discerning prayer healing I was praying Discerning prayer saying God how do you want me to pray saying God how do you want me to pray saying God how do you want me to pray about this um what am I supposed to ask about this um what am I supposed to ask about this um what am I supposed to ask for here you know for here you know for here you know because my assumption personally is not because my assumption personally is not because my assumption personally is not that everything I go that everything I go that everything I go through that is difficult the way that through that is difficult the way that through that is difficult the way that God will heal me deepest through it is God will heal me deepest through it is God will heal me deepest through it is to supernaturally remove it um my belief to supernaturally remove it um my belief to supernaturally remove it um my belief theologically is that God heals and in theologically is that God heals and in theologically is that God heals and in two ways through removal and two ways through removal and two ways through removal and Redemption Redemption Redemption and we need to attune to which method of and we need to attune to which method of and we need to attune to which method of healing the great physician intends to healing the great physician intends to healing the great physician intends to use in our lives in order to partner use in our lives in order to partner use in our lives in order to partner with the spirit's transformative power with the spirit's transformative power with the spirit's transformative power within us to receive that healing within us to receive that healing within us to receive that healing deepest um and my discernment was that deepest um and my discernment was that deepest um and my discernment was that and and I shared this with everyone who and and I shared this with everyone who and and I shared this with everyone who I spoke to said look I'll take all the I spoke to said look I'll take all the I spoke to said look I'll take all the supernatural healing prayer you want to supernatural healing prayer you want to supernatural healing prayer you want to bring because I don't have a perfect bring because I don't have a perfect bring because I don't have a perfect read on the voice of God but my own read on the voice of God but my own read on the voice of God but my own discernment and my own prayers if you discernment and my own prayers if you discernment and my own prayers if you want to join them uh are for Redemption

want to join them uh are for Redemption want to join them uh are for Redemption not removal and I offered Psalm 23 and not removal and I offered Psalm 23 and not removal and I offered Psalm 23 and Psalm 21 as vessels for that prayer Psalm 21 as vessels for that prayer Psalm 21 as vessels for that prayer because there was particular ways God because there was particular ways God because there was particular ways God was speaking to me through those prayers was speaking to me through those prayers was speaking to me through those prayers um Psalm um Psalm um Psalm 23 is uh a prayer that essentially says 23 is uh a prayer that essentially says 23 is uh a prayer that essentially says I'm going to live days next to Green I'm going to live days next to Green I'm going to live days next to Green Pastures and Still Waters and I'm going Pastures and Still Waters and I'm going Pastures and Still Waters and I'm going to live days walking through the valley to live days walking through the valley to live days walking through the valley the shadow of death but in either the shadow of death but in either the shadow of death but in either environment his rod and staff is my environment his rod and staff is my environment his rod and staff is my comfort and so that's what I was praying comfort and so that's what I was praying comfort and so that's what I was praying not that I wouldn't have to walk through not that I wouldn't have to walk through not that I wouldn't have to walk through the valley the Sha of death but that I the valley the Sha of death but that I the valley the Sha of death but that I would know God's rod and staff each and would know God's rod and staff each and would know God's rod and staff each and every day comforting me and leading me every day comforting me and leading me every day comforting me and leading me through it and then Psalm through it and then Psalm through it and then Psalm 21 uh is about there's a a line in a 21 uh is about there's a a line in a 21 uh is about there's a a line in a prayer for the lengthening of my days prayer for the lengthening of my days prayer for the lengthening of my days and so that was the other thing I prayed and so that was the other thing I prayed and so that was the other thing I prayed for is I I just said you know God I can for is I I just said you know God I can for is I I just said you know God I can live live live through however many Death Valley days through however many Death Valley days through however many Death Valley days you want to deal me and however many you want to deal me and however many you want to deal me and however many green pasture green pasture green pasture days just lengthen my days because I days just lengthen my days because I days just lengthen my days because I want to know my children's children and want to know my children's children and want to know my children's children and I want to grow old with the woman that I I want to grow old with the woman that I I want to grow old with the woman that I love and so that was sort of my love and so that was sort of my love and so that was sort of my one my one like hey God I'm not really one my one like hey God I'm not really one my one like hey God I'm not really asking you about this one this is like a asking you about this one this is like a asking you about this one this is like a daily bread zone for me I'm telling you daily bread zone for me I'm telling you daily bread zone for me I'm telling you what I want and I'm trusting that you what I want and I'm trusting that you what I want and I'm trusting that you know better than me but you do say that know better than me but you do say that know better than me but you do say that you love to give good gifts to your you love to give good gifts to your you love to give good gifts to your children so I'm making a list here and

children so I'm making a list here and children so I'm making a list here and this is what's on it um so I think this is what's on it um so I think this is what's on it um so I think Discerning prayer is a really important Discerning prayer is a really important Discerning prayer is a really important and essential companion to healing and essential companion to healing and essential companion to healing prayer um but the way that my prayer prayer um but the way that my prayer prayer um but the way that my prayer life is different is I think I was life is different is I think I was life is different is I think I was trained to trained to trained to attune to God in suffering through the attune to God in suffering through the attune to God in suffering through the prayer of the examine which I've prayed prayer of the examine which I've prayed prayer of the examine which I've prayed daily in the evening for daily in the evening for daily in the evening for years um and if you don't know what the years um and if you don't know what the years um and if you don't know what the prayer of examine is and you're prayer of examine is and you're prayer of examine is and you're listening to this you can Google it it's listening to this you can Google it it's listening to this you can Google it it's got five steps it comes from the Jesuit got five steps it comes from the Jesuit got five steps it comes from the Jesuit tradition was developed originally by St tradition was developed originally by St tradition was developed originally by St ignacius on his own B of suffering um ignacius on his own B of suffering um ignacius on his own B of suffering um however that prayer is a way of learning however that prayer is a way of learning however that prayer is a way of learning to to to recognize God's presence to your recognize God's presence to your recognize God's presence to your ordinary life in ordinary life in ordinary life in hindsight hindsight hindsight and I believe that the spiritual and I believe that the spiritual and I believe that the spiritual journey is easier to read in journey is easier to read in journey is easier to read in hindsight than it is in the present hindsight than it is in the present hindsight than it is in the present moment so many of us like I can sit here moment so many of us like I can sit here moment so many of us like I can sit here and share with you these Reflections on and share with you these Reflections on and share with you these Reflections on my journey of suffering now in my journey of suffering now in my journey of suffering now in hindsight uh not all of these was I hindsight uh not all of these was I hindsight uh not all of these was I ready or able to ready or able to ready or able to articulate in the present moment like if articulate in the present moment like if articulate in the present moment like if I was midway through chemo we were I was midway through chemo we were I was midway through chemo we were having this conversation I would have having this conversation I would have having this conversation I would have less and different things to say um and

less and different things to say um and less and different things to say um and and so what I and so what I and so what I knew is God is present to me right now knew is God is present to me right now knew is God is present to me right now and there were many days when my prayer and there were many days when my prayer and there were many days when my prayer practices failed me or more accurately I practices failed me or more accurately I practices failed me or more accurately I fa failed my prayer practices meaning my fa failed my prayer practices meaning my fa failed my prayer practices meaning my body just wasn't strong enough to live body just wasn't strong enough to live body just wasn't strong enough to live my Urban monastic Rhythm um my mind was my Urban monastic Rhythm um my mind was my Urban monastic Rhythm um my mind was far too far too far too scattered and so I would pray prayer is scattered and so I would pray prayer is scattered and so I would pray prayer is like like like God I can't even really focus enough to God I can't even really focus enough to God I can't even really focus enough to string together a string together a string together a sentence so thank you that today I can sentence so thank you that today I can sentence so thank you that today I can offer offer offer you you you praise from this Valley of praise from this Valley of praise from this Valley of suffering I've never gotten to praise suffering I've never gotten to praise suffering I've never gotten to praise you on this Wednesday of chemotherapy you on this Wednesday of chemotherapy you on this Wednesday of chemotherapy before and so I just say you are worthy before and so I just say you are worthy before and so I just say you are worthy and you are present here with and you are present here with and you are present here with me and I don't feel any of that but I'm me and I don't feel any of that but I'm me and I don't feel any of that but I'm confident that when I get through this confident that when I get through this confident that when I get through this week of chemo and my body recovers a week of chemo and my body recovers a week of chemo and my body recovers a little bit of little bit of little bit of strength I'll begin to attune to the way strength I'll begin to attune to the way strength I'll begin to attune to the way that you were with me that you were with me that you were with me today and I'll recognize you in today and I'll recognize you in today and I'll recognize you in hindsight so I'll praise you for this hindsight so I'll praise you for this hindsight so I'll praise you for this moment right now and that's all I've got moment right now and that's all I've got moment right now and that's all I've got strength to do it was prayers like that strength to do it was prayers like that strength to do it was prayers like that and then sure enough you know every

and then sure enough you know every and then sure enough you know every because I would go through a week of because I would go through a week of because I would go through a week of chemotherapy then two weeks let my body chemotherapy then two weeks let my body chemotherapy then two weeks let my body recover and I get well enough you know recover and I get well enough you know recover and I get well enough you know to go through another pummeling and that to go through another pummeling and that to go through another pummeling and that was kind of the waves that I was riding was kind of the waves that I was riding was kind of the waves that I was riding and so sure enough in those two weeks in and so sure enough in those two weeks in and so sure enough in those two weeks in between I would be able to kind of ring between I would be able to kind of ring between I would be able to kind of ring out the treasures of that week that had out the treasures of that week that had out the treasures of that week that had just been just been just been blank um so that's what I mean I think blank um so that's what I mean I think blank um so that's what I mean I think the prayer of examine taught me to pray the prayer of examine taught me to pray the prayer of examine taught me to pray in the midst of suffering because it in the midst of suffering because it in the midst of suffering because it assured me that God is present to me in assured me that God is present to me in assured me that God is present to me in the midst of this and I can Praise Him the midst of this and I can Praise Him the midst of this and I can Praise Him in the midst of this and a day will come in the midst of this and a day will come in the midst of this and a day will come when I can articulate the ways he was when I can articulate the ways he was when I can articulate the ways he was present to me and it's okay if that day present to me and it's okay if that day present to me and it's okay if that day isn't this isn't this isn't this day you articulated something that I day you articulated something that I day you articulated something that I have thought about for years but never have thought about for years but never have thought about for years but never had language around prayers of had language around prayers of had language around prayers of discernment prayers of healing right discernment prayers of healing right discernment prayers of healing right like uh restoration or Resurrection I like uh restoration or Resurrection I like uh restoration or Resurrection I guess or whatever the metaphor was is it guess or whatever the metaphor was is it guess or whatever the metaphor was is it fair to say you never really prayed for fair to say you never really prayed for fair to say you never really prayed for healing while you were going through healing while you were going through healing while you were going through that that your major prayer was that that your major prayer was that that your major prayer was discernment I I think that's really discernment I I think that's really discernment I I think that's really interesting and actually I find that interesting and actually I find that interesting and actually I find that very compelling that's why I'm asking very compelling that's why I'm asking very compelling that's why I'm asking the question the question the question I personally never prayed that God would I personally never prayed that God would I personally never prayed that God would supernaturally take away my supernaturally take away my supernaturally take away my diagnosis no I did freely receive the diagnosis no I did freely receive the diagnosis no I did freely receive the prayers of others that were prayed to prayers of others that were prayed to prayers of others that were prayed to that end but I prayed that God would that end but I prayed that God would that end but I prayed that God would redeem it what I prayed was God would

redeem it what I prayed was God would redeem it what I prayed was God would you do something so important in you do something so important in you do something so important in me that I would one day relate to this me that I would one day relate to this me that I would one day relate to this window of my life the way I relate to window of my life the way I relate to window of my life the way I relate to like the best films I've ever seen you like the best films I've ever seen you like the best films I've ever seen you know like when you see when you see a know like when you see when you see a know like when you see when you see a great great great film or the the way I would measure a film or the the way I would measure a film or the the way I would measure a great film would be occasionally you're great film would be occasionally you're great film would be occasionally you're in the theater and the credits start in the theater and the credits start in the theater and the credits start rolling and there's like a three to five rolling and there's like a three to five rolling and there's like a three to five second pause before anyone moves an second pause before anyone moves an second pause before anyone moves an inch because like what has just been inch because like what has just been inch because like what has just been shown is so shown is so shown is so profound that people are still like it's profound that people are still like it's profound that people are still like it's still still still landing and people are kind of like landing and people are kind of like landing and people are kind of like catching their breath from like catching their breath from like catching their breath from like what a staggering breathtaking picture what a staggering breathtaking picture what a staggering breathtaking picture of the sanctity of human life that was of the sanctity of human life that was of the sanctity of human life that was you know and then everyone like gets up you know and then everyone like gets up you know and then everyone like gets up and begin to shuffle out with their bags and begin to shuffle out with their bags and begin to shuffle out with their bags of empty or empty bags popcorn or of empty or empty bags popcorn or of empty or empty bags popcorn or whatever and that's what I wanted is God whatever and that's what I wanted is God whatever and that's what I wanted is God I want to go through this because when I want to go through this because when I want to go through this because when you see a film like that like you don't you see a film like that like you don't you see a film like that like you don't ever want to see those movies again like ever want to see those movies again like ever want to see those movies again like most films that win best picture they're most films that win best picture they're most films that win best picture they're like really slow kind of hard to watch like really slow kind of hard to watch like really slow kind of hard to watch and profound pieces of Art and then and profound pieces of Art and then and profound pieces of Art and then there's like romcoms that you could there's like romcoms that you could there's like romcoms that you could watch 10 times or like your favorite watch 10 times or like your favorite watch 10 times or like your favorite Christmas movie is probably not like a Christmas movie is probably not like a Christmas movie is probably not like a heavy hitter you know and and so the heavy hitter you know and and so the heavy hitter you know and and so the that's what I wanted is and and that's

that's what I wanted is and and that's that's what I wanted is and and that's what I think the Wilderness can be is what I think the Wilderness can be is what I think the Wilderness can be is like these profound scenes in our lives like these profound scenes in our lives like these profound scenes in our lives that we say gosh I never want to watch that we say gosh I never want to watch that we say gosh I never want to watch that again I never want to live that day that again I never want to live that day that again I never want to live that day and day I'll never want to walk through and day I'll never want to walk through and day I'll never want to walk through the minute by minute of that again the minute by minute of that again the minute by minute of that again and what a and what a and what a breathtaking chapter that breathtaking chapter that breathtaking chapter that was well that really and that's what I was well that really and that's what I was well that really and that's what I asked God for is like would you give me asked God for is like would you give me asked God for is like would you give me a breathtaking chapter that I never want a breathtaking chapter that I never want a breathtaking chapter that I never want to live through again and that would be to live through again and that would be to live through again and that would be Redemption it's like Isaiah says you Redemption it's like Isaiah says you Redemption it's like Isaiah says you gave me Treasures even in the wilderness gave me Treasures even in the wilderness gave me Treasures even in the wilderness and that's what I was looking for it's and that's what I was looking for it's and that's what I was looking for it's like there's got to be Treasures in this like there's got to be Treasures in this like there's got to be Treasures in this Wilderness that I come out hauling Wilderness that I come out hauling Wilderness that I come out hauling so I'll walk through this Wilderness so I'll walk through this Wilderness so I'll walk through this Wilderness just make sure that I'm coming out with just make sure that I'm coming out with just make sure that I'm coming out with treasures uh that that were found in treasures uh that that were found in treasures uh that that were found in this place and could only be found in this place and could only be found in this place and could only be found in this place and that's what I want from this place and that's what I want from this place and that's what I want from this season and lengthen my days you this season and lengthen my days you this season and lengthen my days you know like my one caveat is but God if I know like my one caveat is but God if I know like my one caveat is but God if I die a young man not worth it if that's die a young man not worth it if that's die a young man not worth it if that's what this movie is about I don't want it what this movie is about I don't want it what this movie is about I don't want it so that was that was my one caveat I so that was that was my one caveat I so that was that was my one caveat I didn't pray for Supernatural healing but didn't pray for Supernatural healing but didn't pray for Supernatural healing but I did pray for the lengthening of days H I did pray for the lengthening of days H I did pray for the lengthening of days H you know when you mentioned the movie you know when you mentioned the movie you know when you mentioned the movie metaphor this predates you but I metaphor this predates you but I metaphor this predates you but I remember when I was leading a youth remember when I was leading a youth remember when I was leading a youth group a youth pastor in Toronto group a youth pastor in Toronto group a youth pastor in Toronto Schindler's List came out and I took my Schindler's List came out and I took my Schindler's List came out and I took my youth group to see Schindler's List in youth group to see Schindler's List in youth group to see Schindler's List in the theaters first the theaters first the theaters first release oh well first of all I'm not release oh well first of all I'm not release oh well first of all I'm not sure that was a good decision I had a

sure that was a good decision I had a sure that was a good decision I had a lot of explaining to parents to do uh lot of explaining to parents to do uh lot of explaining to parents to do uh but that like just sit there in stunned but that like just sit there in stunned but that like just sit there in stunned silence for not 5 Seconds like 5 minutes silence for not 5 Seconds like 5 minutes silence for not 5 Seconds like 5 minutes minutes nobody moved in that theater minutes nobody moved in that theater minutes nobody moved in that theater after that film was done and I've never after that film was done and I've never after that film was done and I've never watched it since it's just exactly what watched it since it's just exactly what watched it since it's just exactly what you said it's just too I remember it you said it's just too I remember it you said it's just too I remember it very well and it was just so disturbing very well and it was just so disturbing very well and it was just so disturbing depressing and yet that is a beauty of depressing and yet that is a beauty of depressing and yet that is a beauty of the the the Gospel is you know that had a Redemptive Gospel is you know that had a Redemptive Gospel is you know that had a Redemptive narrative for Oscar Schindler you've narrative for Oscar Schindler you've narrative for Oscar Schindler you've seen the movie um but God does seem to seen the movie um but God does seem to seen the movie um but God does seem to do very profound work in the midst of do very profound work in the midst of do very profound work in the midst of suffering suffering suffering and we want to bypass that I would love and we want to bypass that I would love and we want to bypass that I would love a suffering bypass personally you know a suffering bypass personally you know a suffering bypass personally you know um but what you've been able to to um but what you've been able to to um but what you've been able to to forage From the Ashes so far is is forage From the Ashes so far is is forage From the Ashes so far is is remarkable what other what other lessons remarkable what other what other lessons remarkable what other what other lessons did you learn over these last couple of did you learn over these last couple of did you learn over these last couple of years with the health struggles that years with the health struggles that years with the health struggles that you've had I think had I think I mean it's so hard is any I feel like I mean it's so hard is any I feel like I mean it's so hard is any I feel like anything I would try to articulate is anything I would try to articulate is anything I would try to articulate is going to sound just trite but I think just you know you were saying before you just you know you were saying before you said something very kind and said something very kind and said something very kind and complimentary of me where you said like complimentary of me where you said like complimentary of me where you said like I think you've tried to

I think you've tried to I think you've tried to forge a humble and submissive life and forge a humble and submissive life and forge a humble and submissive life and what I would say is like I'm what I would say is like I'm what I would say is like I'm unapologetically after unapologetically after unapologetically after joy and and what I actually believe and joy and and what I actually believe and joy and and what I actually believe and have discovered to be true more and more have discovered to be true more and more have discovered to be true more and more I don't believe this in a blind trust I don't believe this in a blind trust I don't believe this in a blind trust kind of way I believe this in the way kind of way I believe this in the way kind of way I believe this in the way that I believe that that I believe that that I believe that uh dry rub barbecue Memphis ribs are the uh dry rub barbecue Memphis ribs are the uh dry rub barbecue Memphis ribs are the best ribs because I've tasted it and I best ribs because I've tasted it and I best ribs because I've tasted it and I don't eat it every day but you know I don't eat it every day but you know I don't eat it every day but you know I believe that's the best because I've believe that's the best because I've believe that's the best because I've tasted it so I I think I I tasted it so I I think I I tasted it so I I think I I believe that life on the narrow way of Jesus is that life on the narrow way of Jesus is the fullest most joyful most profoundly the fullest most joyful most profoundly the fullest most joyful most profoundly good good good life and life and life and so you know the narrow way of Jesus so you know the narrow way of Jesus so you know the narrow way of Jesus includes every last one of you is going includes every last one of you is going includes every last one of you is going to have to carry a cross on your back if to have to carry a cross on your back if to have to carry a cross on your back if you're going to follow you're going to follow you're going to follow me and well Jesus what about him don't me and well Jesus what about him don't me and well Jesus what about him don't worry about him worry about him worry about him live your call carry your cross that's live your call carry your cross that's live your call carry your cross that's what Jesus said to Peter on the beach what Jesus said to Peter on the beach what Jesus said to Peter on the beach and so you know Peter he imagined life and so you know Peter he imagined life and so you know Peter he imagined life and life to the full was to grow into an and life to the full was to grow into an and life to the full was to grow into an endless success story what he discovered endless success story what he discovered endless success story what he discovered was that life and life to the full was that life and life to the full was that life and life to the full involves failing dramatically and involves failing dramatically and involves failing dramatically and publicly in the decisive moment and then

publicly in the decisive moment and then publicly in the decisive moment and then telling that story is the greatest thing telling that story is the greatest thing telling that story is the greatest thing that's ever happened to you for the rest that's ever happened to you for the rest that's ever happened to you for the rest of your life that's the story that of your life that's the story that of your life that's the story that you're closing every sermon with from you're closing every sermon with from you're closing every sermon with from now on not the one that you had written now on not the one that you had written now on not the one that you had written for yourself about sitting on a throne for yourself about sitting on a throne for yourself about sitting on a throne with me reigning in Jerusalem forever um with me reigning in Jerusalem forever um with me reigning in Jerusalem forever um that was what you imagined Joy would be that was what you imagined Joy would be that was what you imagined Joy would be like but I know the prescription to your like but I know the prescription to your like but I know the prescription to your soul and I know how to satisfy you and soul and I know how to satisfy you and soul and I know how to satisfy you and so what I would say is so what I would say is so what I would say is like Jesus knows how to Satisfy My Soul like Jesus knows how to Satisfy My Soul like Jesus knows how to Satisfy My Soul deepest I am unapologetically after Joy deepest I am unapologetically after Joy deepest I am unapologetically after Joy I am a hedonist in in the most Divine I am a hedonist in in the most Divine I am a hedonist in in the most Divine Way Way Way imaginable and so that would be what imaginable and so that would be what imaginable and so that would be what I've learned in suffering is that I've learned in suffering is that I've learned in suffering is that even in a cancer W of a even in a cancer W of a even in a cancer W of a hospital to know God's presence and to hospital to know God's presence and to hospital to know God's presence and to walk on the narrow path of walk on the narrow path of walk on the narrow path of Jesus can be the fullest kind of life Jesus can be the fullest kind of life Jesus can be the fullest kind of life and so that would be I I think the and so that would be I I think the and so that would be I I think the overarching lesson that I go on learning overarching lesson that I go on learning overarching lesson that I go on learning and hope I go on learning until my and hope I go on learning until my and hope I go on learning until my number days come to a close number days come to a close number days come to a close I'd love to know how if at all Tyler I'd love to know how if at all Tyler I'd love to know how if at all Tyler this has impacted your preaching your this has impacted your preaching your this has impacted your preaching your pastoring you know there's sort of the pastoring you know there's sort of the pastoring you know there's sort of the before and then there's the after I know before and then there's the after I know before and then there's the after I know you know the most difficult and I've you know the most difficult and I've you know the most difficult and I've talked about this adnasium episode I talked about this adnasium episode I talked about this adnasium episode I ever went through in my life was the ever went through in my life was the ever went through in my life was the burnout that happened to me well at this burnout that happened to me well at this burnout that happened to me well at this point almost 19 years ago and I'm a very

point almost 19 years ago and I'm a very point almost 19 years ago and I'm a very different human being on the other side different human being on the other side different human being on the other side than I was before recognizable still than I was before recognizable still than I was before recognizable still driven whatever but hopefully a little driven whatever but hopefully a little driven whatever but hopefully a little more redeemed and a little gentler and a more redeemed and a little gentler and a more redeemed and a little gentler and a little little little more kind and thoughtful about other more kind and thoughtful about other more kind and thoughtful about other people and you know the list could go on people and you know the list could go on people and you know the list could go on and on and on so you go through a and on and on so you go through a and on and on so you go through a life-altering event like this most life-altering event like this most life-altering event like this most people emerge differently and I would people emerge differently and I would people emerge differently and I would say it probably increased my empathy uh say it probably increased my empathy uh say it probably increased my empathy uh I used to think for example that if you I used to think for example that if you I used to think for example that if you said you know I'm just having a tough said you know I'm just having a tough said you know I'm just having a tough season and I can't keep up Carrie I'd be season and I can't keep up Carrie I'd be season and I can't keep up Carrie I'd be like what's wrong with you Tyler like like what's wrong with you Tyler like like what's wrong with you Tyler like come on man you know tough it out and come on man you know tough it out and come on man you know tough it out and then you know I toughed it out until I then you know I toughed it out until I then you know I toughed it out until I got flattened out I'm like all right so got flattened out I'm like all right so got flattened out I'm like all right so and now if you if you're coming to me and now if you if you're coming to me and now if you if you're coming to me going you know I'm just overwhelmed I going you know I'm just overwhelmed I going you know I'm just overwhelmed I got so much going on I've got all day got so much going on I've got all day got so much going on I've got all day for you got all day for you and that's a for you got all day for you and that's a for you got all day for you and that's a profound difference and hopefully the profound difference and hopefully the profound difference and hopefully the empathy comes through in what I do but empathy comes through in what I do but empathy comes through in what I do but I'm curious if if you have a similar I'm curious if if you have a similar I'm curious if if you have a similar thing that you've noticed about yourself thing that you've noticed about yourself thing that you've noticed about yourself in the way you're approaching your in the way you're approaching your in the way you're approaching your teaching or pastoring I hope that my I hope that my teaching is laced with a little bit more teaching is laced with a little bit more teaching is laced with a little bit more wisdom that's been hard wisdom that's been hard wisdom that's been hard one I know that the preparing of my one I know that the preparing of my one I know that the preparing of my teaching is more teaching is more teaching is more joyful because I think like like I just joyful because I think like like I just joyful because I think like like I just think I mean the today is the day I think I mean the today is the day I think I mean the today is the day I write sermons that's what I was doing

write sermons that's what I was doing write sermons that's what I was doing before I jumped on with you and I prayed before I jumped on with you and I prayed before I jumped on with you and I prayed this morning like man God thank you so this morning like man God thank you so this morning like man God thank you so much I'm going to sit in office today much I'm going to sit in office today much I'm going to sit in office today and Sip Coffee and get to write stories and Sip Coffee and get to write stories and Sip Coffee and get to write stories about about about Jesus what an insane work day you know Jesus what an insane work day you know Jesus what an insane work day you know thank you so much that I get to do this thank you so much that I get to do this thank you so much that I get to do this today and I guess I'm Le less worried today and I guess I'm Le less worried today and I guess I'm Le less worried about making sure I get it done or how about making sure I get it done or how about making sure I get it done or how good I think it seemed to be when I good I think it seemed to be when I good I think it seemed to be when I finished writing it and more just finished writing it and more just finished writing it and more just enjoying the Craft um and I would enjoying the Craft um and I would enjoying the Craft um and I would say uh the the most profound way it's say uh the the most profound way it's say uh the the most profound way it's changed me is probably as a pastor and changed me is probably as a pastor and changed me is probably as a pastor and leader I just think I am learning leader I just think I am learning leader I just think I am learning finally to embrace my limits it's funny finally to embrace my limits it's funny finally to embrace my limits it's funny I was mentored by Pete skazo for two I was mentored by Pete skazo for two I was mentored by Pete skazo for two years and he you know like one of his years and he you know like one of his years and he you know like one of his principles in EHS that he's always principles in EHS that he's always principles in EHS that he's always beaten the drum of is to honor your beaten the drum of is to honor your beaten the drum of is to honor your limits and so I i' I've taught that limits and so I i' I've taught that limits and so I i' I've taught that stuff you know and I and I stuff you know and I and I stuff you know and I and I constantly fill my cup to the absolute constantly fill my cup to the absolute constantly fill my cup to the absolute Brim which works Brim which works Brim which works perfectly if nothing unexpected ever perfectly if nothing unexpected ever perfectly if nothing unexpected ever happens in your life and yet unexpected happens in your life and yet unexpected happens in your life and yet unexpected things happen in everyone's life every things happen in everyone's life every things happen in everyone's life every week and so it never worked out for week and so it never worked out for week and so it never worked out for me and I would say I have me and I would say I have me and I would say I have been perpetually in a hurry and a little been perpetually in a hurry and a little been perpetually in a hurry and a little bit bit bit late and overly

late and overly late and overly efficient and pretty good at efficient and pretty good at efficient and pretty good at accomplishing accomplishing accomplishing uh and now I think I'm learning finally uh and now I think I'm learning finally uh and now I think I'm learning finally to live with a little bit of margin that to live with a little bit of margin that to live with a little bit of margin that affords me the affords me the affords me the space to go slow enough to space to go slow enough to space to go slow enough to notice God to Delight in my day to show notice God to Delight in my day to show notice God to Delight in my day to show up to people a little bit different up to people a little bit different up to people a little bit different um and to enjoy so that's what I would um and to enjoy so that's what I would um and to enjoy so that's what I would say is different and it's still say is different and it's still say is different and it's still I mean it's not like I mean it's not like I mean it's not like suffering entirely transformed me it was suffering entirely transformed me it was suffering entirely transformed me it was more like suffering unmasked me to the more like suffering unmasked me to the more like suffering unmasked me to the ways that I wasn't the person that I ways that I wasn't the person that I ways that I wasn't the person that I wanted to be and imagined myself to be wanted to be and imagined myself to be wanted to be and imagined myself to be and allowed me to and allowed me to and allowed me to discover uh a way of surrender that discover uh a way of surrender that discover uh a way of surrender that inches me closer to there so I don't inches me closer to there so I don't inches me closer to there so I don't know that I'm like a model for the know that I'm like a model for the know that I'm like a model for the Embrace of limits right now what I know Embrace of limits right now what I know Embrace of limits right now what I know is that I'm a couple inches closer than is that I'm a couple inches closer than is that I'm a couple inches closer than I was a year I was a year I was a year ago you've written a new book on the ago you've written a new book on the ago you've written a new book on the Holy Spirit called The Familiar stranger Holy Spirit called The Familiar stranger Holy Spirit called The Familiar stranger great Title by the way Tyler what made great Title by the way Tyler what made great Title by the way Tyler what made you want to write on the Holy you want to write on the Holy you want to write on the Holy Spirit a number of things my own Spirit a number of things my own Spirit a number of things my own personal personal personal story um my read of the need of the story um my read of the need of the story um my read of the need of the church in our

church in our church in our hour and and the fruit of the ministry that I've and the fruit of the ministry that I've gotten to lead probably those three gotten to lead probably those three gotten to lead probably those three factors so there's my own personal story factors so there's my own personal story factors so there's my own personal story which which which is um I early in my life as a um I early in my life as a pastor felt like you I was leading this pastor felt like you I was leading this pastor felt like you I was leading this church in New York I got to 28 years old church in New York I got to 28 years old church in New York I got to 28 years old it was going quite well I was actually it was going quite well I was actually it was going quite well I was actually you know I was like a a model you know I was like a a model you know I was like a a model to follow um being asked to you know to follow um being asked to you know to follow um being asked to you know provide some counsel on the early stages provide some counsel on the early stages provide some counsel on the early stages to other Church Planters and stuff and to other Church Planters and stuff and to other Church Planters and stuff and yet like the burden felt unimaginably yet like the burden felt unimaginably yet like the burden felt unimaginably heavy and I was stressed out and doing heavy and I was stressed out and doing heavy and I was stressed out and doing the very best I the very best I the very best I can to continue growing this community can to continue growing this community can to continue growing this community and an intellectually intimidating and an intellectually intimidating and an intellectually intimidating emotionally cold City through the best emotionally cold City through the best emotionally cold City through the best sermons I could possibly pre sermons I could possibly pre sermons I could possibly pre and I was exhausted and stressed and and I was exhausted and stressed and and I was exhausted and stressed and then I kept reading the words of Jesus then I kept reading the words of Jesus then I kept reading the words of Jesus which seemed to indicate a different which seemed to indicate a different which seemed to indicate a different sort of life than that and I kept sort of life than that and I kept sort of life than that and I kept reading the book of Acts and the letters reading the book of Acts and the letters reading the book of Acts and the letters of the New Testament and I just thought of the New Testament and I just thought of the New Testament and I just thought you know in in many ways they're you know in in many ways they're you know in in many ways they're experiencing hardship that I know experiencing hardship that I know experiencing hardship that I know nothing about like they're being nothing about like they're being nothing about like they're being persecuted and blogged and you know

persecuted and blogged and you know persecuted and blogged and you know writing out riots and stuff and I'm just writing out riots and stuff and I'm just writing out riots and stuff and I'm just trying to like deal with some trying to like deal with some trying to like deal with some particularly abrasive emails um but then particularly abrasive emails um but then particularly abrasive emails um but then but then on the other hand they seem to but then on the other hand they seem to but then on the other hand they seem to be enjoying themselves to a degree that be enjoying themselves to a degree that be enjoying themselves to a degree that I know nothing about and they seem to be I know nothing about and they seem to be I know nothing about and they seem to be carrying this whole thing quite lightly carrying this whole thing quite lightly carrying this whole thing quite lightly and they seem to take God really and they seem to take God really and they seem to take God really seriously but not themselves and it seriously but not themselves and it seriously but not themselves and it seems like there's seems like there's seems like there's power like breathing on their Ministry power like breathing on their Ministry power like breathing on their Ministry in a way that I don't know anything in a way that I don't know anything in a way that I don't know anything about and I just thought I got to figure about and I just thought I got to figure about and I just thought I got to figure out what the deal is with the Holy out what the deal is with the Holy out what the deal is with the Holy Spirit and a lot of that's because I had Spirit and a lot of that's because I had Spirit and a lot of that's because I had grown up in one of many American Church grown up in one of many American Church grown up in one of many American Church Traditions that had a Traditions that had a Traditions that had a theology that the entire Bible was theology that the entire Bible was theology that the entire Bible was livable but practiced selected portions livable but practiced selected portions livable but practiced selected portions of of of it and there were there were portions of it and there were there were portions of it and there were there were portions of the Bible that I believ were livable but the Bible that I believ were livable but the Bible that I believ were livable but I had never practiced because I didn't I had never practiced because I didn't I had never practiced because I didn't know how and I had no model and so I know how and I had no model and so I know how and I had no model and so I went at 28 in search of a model and I went at 28 in search of a model and I went at 28 in search of a model and I was like how do you pray for healing in was like how do you pray for healing in was like how do you pray for healing in a way that doesn't feel like a way that doesn't feel like a way that doesn't feel like contrived and hyped and like contrived and hyped and like contrived and hyped and like emotionalism but is neither but is also emotionalism but is neither but is also emotionalism but is neither but is also not like just I don't know something a not like just I don't know something a not like just I don't know something a phrase that you toss in at the end of a phrase that you toss in at the end of a phrase that you toss in at the end of a prayer for like wisdom for the doctors prayer for like wisdom for the doctors prayer for like wisdom for the doctors you know and have you how do you

you know and have you how do you you know and have you how do you discern God's discern God's discern God's will if it's not like a billboard will if it's not like a billboard will if it's not like a billboard appeared on the side of the highway appeared on the side of the highway appeared on the side of the highway telling me exactly what to do otherwise telling me exactly what to do otherwise telling me exactly what to do otherwise I'm probably just going to do what I I'm probably just going to do what I I'm probably just going to do what I thought made the most sense anyway um thought made the most sense anyway um thought made the most sense anyway um and what is and what is and what is prophecy and why is Paul longing that prophecy and why is Paul longing that prophecy and why is Paul longing that everyone would prophesy and needing to everyone would prophesy and needing to everyone would prophesy and needing to give instructions to the Corinthian give instructions to the Corinthian give instructions to the Corinthian Church on the ordered way to show up to Church on the ordered way to show up to Church on the ordered way to show up to the various Gathering types they join in the various Gathering types they join in the various Gathering types they join in because everyone is so eager to offer because everyone is so eager to offer because everyone is so eager to offer words of strengthening encouraging and words of strengthening encouraging and words of strengthening encouraging and comfort to one another and I'm pastoring comfort to one another and I'm pastoring comfort to one another and I'm pastoring within a tradition that seems to within a tradition that seems to within a tradition that seems to implicitly tell people that my words are implicitly tell people that my words are implicitly tell people that my words are the most important ones that will be the most important ones that will be the most important ones that will be spoken today uh when we show up to the spoken today uh when we show up to the spoken today uh when we show up to the worship Gathering and therefore worship Gathering and therefore worship Gathering and therefore implicitly telling people don't try to implicitly telling people don't try to implicitly telling people don't try to bring strengthening encouraging and bring strengthening encouraging and bring strengthening encouraging and comfort here but do show up ready to comfort here but do show up ready to comfort here but do show up ready to receive an intellectually stimulating receive an intellectually stimulating receive an intellectually stimulating and hopefully above average sermon you and hopefully above average sermon you and hopefully above average sermon you know why and so I start to ask myself know why and so I start to ask myself know why and so I start to ask myself these sorts of questions in the most non these sorts of questions in the most non these sorts of questions in the most non cynical but entirely curious way cynical but entirely curious way cynical but entirely curious way possible and go searching for models possible and go searching for models possible and go searching for models because what I knew because what I knew because what I knew was uh I don't know how to read the was uh I don't know how to read the was uh I don't know how to read the Bible because I started reading the Bible because I started reading the Bible because I started reading the Bible and figured it out I was given Bible and figured it out I was given Bible and figured it out I was given models for understanding the whole of models for understanding the whole of models for understanding the whole of the Bible is a story with Jesus at the the Bible is a story with Jesus at the the Bible is a story with Jesus at the center and

center and center and therefore understanding this really therefore understanding this really therefore understanding this really weird passage in Deuteronomy in light of weird passage in Deuteronomy in light of weird passage in Deuteronomy in light of the unfolding revelation of God building the unfolding revelation of God building the unfolding revelation of God building toward Jesus and and so if if I can't toward Jesus and and so if if I can't toward Jesus and and so if if I can't have a quiet time without models that have a quiet time without models that have a quiet time without models that teach me this way of attuning to God and teach me this way of attuning to God and teach me this way of attuning to God and receiving from him through his word then receiving from him through his word then receiving from him through his word then surely I can't just figure out prophecy surely I can't just figure out prophecy surely I can't just figure out prophecy without a mod model to begin practicing without a mod model to begin practicing without a mod model to begin practicing and so I started to go search in search and so I started to go search in search and so I started to go search in search of models and then I started to practice of models and then I started to practice of models and then I started to practice and then I saw the church community that and then I saw the church community that and then I saw the church community that I led come alive and I felt myself come I led come alive and I felt myself come I led come alive and I felt myself come alive and alive and alive and suddenly a few years in the burden felt suddenly a few years in the burden felt suddenly a few years in the burden felt light and I was having the time of my light and I was having the time of my light and I was having the time of my life and I suddenly didn't feel like I life and I suddenly didn't feel like I life and I suddenly didn't feel like I was trying to make waves through the was trying to make waves through the was trying to make waves through the sermons I was preaching I felt like I sermons I was preaching I felt like I sermons I was preaching I felt like I was riding waves uh that the spirit was was riding waves uh that the spirit was was riding waves uh that the spirit was causing to come in just like joyfully causing to come in just like joyfully causing to come in just like joyfully participating in a move of God and while participating in a move of God and while participating in a move of God and while I've been through many different seasons I've been through many different seasons I've been through many different seasons I mean we've been talking about I mean we've been talking about I mean we've been talking about suffering for approximately an hour I suffering for approximately an hour I suffering for approximately an hour I guess I would say that that that hasn't guess I would say that that that hasn't guess I would say that that that hasn't changed um so that that's my own story changed um so that that's my own story changed um so that that's my own story and then I look at the church and and my and then I look at the church and and my and then I look at the church and and my read of the church is that the Holy read of the church is that the Holy read of the church is that the Holy Spirit uh the expression or the models Spirit uh the expression or the models Spirit uh the expression or the models that we've been given for the ministry that we've been given for the ministry that we've been given for the ministry of the spirit in the modern western of the spirit in the modern western of the spirit in the modern western church or the spirit is everything and church or the spirit is everything and church or the spirit is everything and the spirit is nothing so it's either

the spirit is nothing so it's either the spirit is nothing so it's either like like like Spirit spiritual experience like Spirit spiritual experience like Spirit spiritual experience like miraculous Ministry is so overemphasized miraculous Ministry is so overemphasized miraculous Ministry is so overemphasized that it's the entire reason we gather that it's the entire reason we gather that it's the entire reason we gather right and everyone is pursuing some type right and everyone is pursuing some type right and everyone is pursuing some type of ecstatic experience and usually of ecstatic experience and usually of ecstatic experience and usually there's an unspoken belief that the there's an unspoken belief that the there's an unspoken belief that the ecstatic experience is more likely to ecstatic experience is more likely to ecstatic experience is more likely to happen if we're gathered into a room happen if we're gathered into a room happen if we're gathered into a room with syn patter with syn patter with syn patter behind a particularly compelling leader behind a particularly compelling leader behind a particularly compelling leader and everyone wants it bad enough which I and everyone wants it bad enough which I and everyone wants it bad enough which I don't think is a Biblical belief um and don't think is a Biblical belief um and don't think is a Biblical belief um and then on the other side of the spectrum then on the other side of the spectrum then on the other side of the spectrum you've got a bunch of robust deep you've got a bunch of robust deep you've got a bunch of robust deep theology with no practice and so it's theology with no practice and so it's theology with no practice and so it's almost like sure the first century almost like sure the first century almost like sure the first century Church needed the power of the spirit Church needed the power of the spirit Church needed the power of the spirit not just understood but lived and not just understood but lived and not just understood but lived and practiced in order to bring the Roman practiced in order to bring the Roman practiced in order to bring the Roman Empire to its knees by the way of Empire to its knees by the way of Empire to its knees by the way of love but what we really need is more love but what we really need is more love but what we really need is more people doing book studies in coffee people doing book studies in coffee people doing book studies in coffee shops and then we can bring the the way shops and then we can bring the the way shops and then we can bring the the way of the Western World to its knees of the Western World to its knees of the Western World to its knees through love and what I would say is through love and what I would say is through love and what I would say is people doing book studies and coffee people doing book studies and coffee people doing book studies and coffee shops is shops is shops is wonderful um and we need a demonstration wonderful um and we need a demonstration wonderful um and we need a demonstration of of of power and so there's that uh where I

power and so there's that uh where I power and so there's that uh where I thought someone needs to thread a needle thought someone needs to thread a needle thought someone needs to thread a needle and offer a thoughtful Winsome clear and offer a thoughtful Winsome clear and offer a thoughtful Winsome clear articulation that can unify the church articulation that can unify the church articulation that can unify the church around the holy spirit because Jesus got around the holy spirit because Jesus got around the holy spirit because Jesus got giddy on the last night of his life in giddy on the last night of his life in giddy on the last night of his life in the latter chapters of John talking the latter chapters of John talking the latter chapters of John talking about the Holy Spirit as an improvement about the Holy Spirit as an improvement about the Holy Spirit as an improvement to his Bly presence with us who is going to his Bly presence with us who is going to his Bly presence with us who is going to unify all believers and yet the holy to unify all believers and yet the holy to unify all believers and yet the holy spirit is like the great divisive agent spirit is like the great divisive agent spirit is like the great divisive agent of the trinity in the modern of the trinity in the modern of the trinity in the modern church right we have one person or church right we have one person or church right we have one person or twoes yeah yeah and then and then twoes yeah yeah and then and then twoes yeah yeah and then and then finally the I I just would say I I led a finally the I I just would say I I led a finally the I I just would say I I led a I've been leading communities in I've been leading communities in I've been leading communities in thoughtful practice of Holy Spirit thoughtful practice of Holy Spirit thoughtful practice of Holy Spirit Ministry for more than a decade and I've Ministry for more than a decade and I've Ministry for more than a decade and I've just seen it be fruitful in a variety of just seen it be fruitful in a variety of just seen it be fruitful in a variety of contexts now and so I felt like all contexts now and so I felt like all contexts now and so I felt like all right this is well worn enough in me to right this is well worn enough in me to right this is well worn enough in me to offer as an attempt to give a gift away offer as an attempt to give a gift away offer as an attempt to give a gift away to the broader church and I think now is to the broader church and I think now is to the broader church and I think now is the time for this I think there's hunger the time for this I think there's hunger the time for this I think there's hunger for this right now I think 10 years ago for this right now I think 10 years ago for this right now I think 10 years ago if you and I were talking about prophecy if you and I were talking about prophecy if you and I were talking about prophecy half of the people listening to this half of the people listening to this half of the people listening to this would suddenly get really really nervous would suddenly get really really nervous would suddenly get really really nervous and half the people listening to this and half the people listening to this and half the people listening to this would be like finally now we're actually would be like finally now we're actually would be like finally now we're actually talking about something meaningful and talking about something meaningful and talking about something meaningful and now I think there's genuine Intrigue and now I think there's genuine Intrigue and now I think there's genuine Intrigue and humility being longing there's hunger humility being longing there's hunger humility being longing there's hunger across the board um generally speaking

across the board um generally speaking across the board um generally speaking and so I think it's it's a and so I think it's it's a and so I think it's it's a good time to try to offer a gift like good time to try to offer a gift like good time to try to offer a gift like this to the broader church that's why I this to the broader church that's why I this to the broader church that's why I wrote the book and I'm really excited to wrote the book and I'm really excited to wrote the book and I'm really excited to try to give it away to try to give it away to try to give it away to people what is if if and I know that people what is if if and I know that people what is if if and I know that there's 40 50,000 words around this but there's 40 50,000 words around this but there's 40 50,000 words around this but if you had to summarize in a thought or if you had to summarize in a thought or if you had to summarize in a thought or two the biggest Paradigm Shift you went two the biggest Paradigm Shift you went two the biggest Paradigm Shift you went through in your own life about the Holy through in your own life about the Holy through in your own life about the Holy Spirit as you compiled this material and Spirit as you compiled this material and Spirit as you compiled this material and tested it over the last decade what tested it over the last decade what tested it over the last decade what would you say the most transformative would you say the most transformative would you say the most transformative thought idea practice or understanding thought idea practice or understanding thought idea practice or understanding was has been for you I guess it would be was has been for you I guess it would be was has been for you I guess it would be two two two things I think the first things I think the first things I think the first one is that I think for any leader that I think for any leader like I like I like I was who has gotten was who has gotten was who has gotten somewhere primarily on their own strength to know the power of the strength to know the power of the spirit you've got to risk losing all of spirit you've got to risk losing all of spirit you've got to risk losing all of that I just think there's that I just think there's that I just think there's only the risk at utter only the risk at utter only the risk at utter foolishness that foolishness that foolishness that will make you a potential vessel for the will make you a potential vessel for the will make you a potential vessel for the presence and power of God mediated presence and power of God mediated presence and power of God mediated through the spirit that was the first through the spirit that was the first through the spirit that was the first thing that I learned and so much of my thing that I learned and so much of my thing that I learned and so much of my early training from and I mean like from

early training from and I mean like from early training from and I mean like from God like I I remember to give a God like I I remember to give a God like I I remember to give a practical practical practical example it will make sense to pastors at example it will make sense to pastors at example it will make sense to pastors at least I can remember this one least I can remember this one least I can remember this one Sunday uh where the week leading up to I Sunday uh where the week leading up to I Sunday uh where the week leading up to I just kind of heard God whispered to me just kind of heard God whispered to me just kind of heard God whispered to me you only get one page this you only get one page this you only get one page this Sunday I was like what do do you mean Sunday I was like what do do you mean Sunday I was like what do do you mean and he's like like your sermon go up and he's like like your sermon go up and he's like like your sermon go up there with one page and trust me and I there with one page and trust me and I there with one page and trust me and I thought that isn't that like pastorally thought that isn't that like pastorally thought that isn't that like pastorally negligent like am I just using like my negligent like am I just using like my negligent like am I just using like my read on God's voice as an excuse to read on God's voice as an excuse to read on God's voice as an excuse to under prepare this week or something and under prepare this week or something and under prepare this week or something and I asked God this question I asked God this question I asked God this question conversationally and I heard God say conversationally and I heard God say conversationally and I heard God say back to back to back to me no it's it's just because this means me no it's it's just because this means me no it's it's just because this means too much to you too much to you too much to you you want to preach great you want to preach great you want to preach great sermons and you are sermons and you are sermons and you are afraid that if you don't you won't I won't be able to bless don't you won't I won't be able to bless people so you risk standing in front of people so you risk standing in front of people so you risk standing in front of a room with a 35 to 40 minute window a room with a 35 to 40 minute window a room with a 35 to 40 minute window that you're meant to fill that you're meant to fill that you're meant to fill with three to five minutes of content with three to five minutes of content with three to five minutes of content see what I can do with see what I can do with see what I can do with that so that's mean like I I felt like I that so that's mean like I I felt like I that so that's mean like I I felt like I had to begin taking risks like that what had to begin taking risks like that what had to begin taking risks like that what happened you can't I mean if there's happened you can't I mean if there's happened you can't I mean if there's this is like the movie it's like what

this is like the movie it's like what this is like the movie it's like what happened you went out there with three happened you went out there with three happened you went out there with three to five minutes of to five minutes of to five minutes of materal yeah and I preached a sermon and materal yeah and I preached a sermon and materal yeah and I preached a sermon and it was probably not quite as good as my it was probably not quite as good as my it was probably not quite as good as my normal teaching and a little bit shorter normal teaching and a little bit shorter normal teaching and a little bit shorter but I did find the like inside came to but I did find the like inside came to but I did find the like inside came to me as I went and I was able to riff some me as I went and I was able to riff some me as I went and I was able to riff some and then I saw God move in power and no and then I saw God move in power and no and then I saw God move in power and no one seemed to one seemed to one seemed to notice then I preached off of a page notice then I preached off of a page notice then I preached off of a page instead of off of instead of off of instead of off of 10 and and I felt the father 10 and and I felt the father 10 and and I felt the father say Well done good and faithful servant say Well done good and faithful servant say Well done good and faithful servant you can go back to your normal preaching you can go back to your normal preaching you can go back to your normal preaching way now it's not about the method it's way now it's not about the method it's way now it's not about the method it's not like a a method an under prepared or not like a a method an under prepared or not like a a method an under prepared or over prepared there there's not a way to over prepared there there's not a way to over prepared there there's not a way to prepare that invites my spirit you just prepare that invites my spirit you just prepare that invites my spirit you just got to get yourself out of the got to get yourself out of the got to get yourself out of the way you got to learn to trust me so that way you got to learn to trust me so that way you got to learn to trust me so that was that's one and the the other inside was that's one and the the other inside was that's one and the the other inside would be this probably the most ancient would be this probably the most ancient would be this probably the most ancient prayer of the church is Come Holy Spirit prayer of the church is Come Holy Spirit prayer of the church is Come Holy Spirit um which is not an invitation for God's um which is not an invitation for God's um which is not an invitation for God's spirit to inhabit an atmosphere or spirit to inhabit an atmosphere or spirit to inhabit an atmosphere or person or place in which he was absent a person or place in which he was absent a person or place in which he was absent a moment ago it's more like God let my moment ago it's more like God let my moment ago it's more like God let my soul come into cooperation with your soul come into cooperation with your soul come into cooperation with your spirit it's like what the psalmist prays spirit it's like what the psalmist prays spirit it's like what the psalmist prays Awake My Awake My Awake My Soul um and so or let my mind become Soul um and so or let my mind become Soul um and so or let my mind become attuned to your spirit and what I would

attuned to your spirit and what I would attuned to your spirit and what I would say is that the other thing I've learned say is that the other thing I've learned say is that the other thing I've learned is that sometimes we pray Come Holy is that sometimes we pray Come Holy is that sometimes we pray Come Holy Spirit and we wait a Spirit and we wait a Spirit and we wait a minute and other times we pray Come Holy minute and other times we pray Come Holy minute and other times we pray Come Holy Spirit and we wait a year or a decade Spirit and we wait a year or a decade Spirit and we wait a year or a decade or a or a or a lifetime but it's the same spirit that lifetime but it's the same spirit that lifetime but it's the same spirit that we're inviting to form Us in either we're inviting to form Us in either we're inviting to form Us in either instance it's the same Spirit working in instance it's the same Spirit working in instance it's the same Spirit working in power in either power in either power in either instance and so the holy spirit is the instance and so the holy spirit is the instance and so the holy spirit is the miraculous Miracle miraculous Miracle miraculous Miracle Worker and the deepest work God does is Worker and the deepest work God does is Worker and the deepest work God does is usually the usually the usually the slowest but it's the spirit at work in slowest but it's the spirit at work in slowest but it's the spirit at work in both cases it is the holy spirit causing both cases it is the holy spirit causing both cases it is the holy spirit causing me to weep at David Brooks's book and me to weep at David Brooks's book and me to weep at David Brooks's book and long to become more relational and the long to become more relational and the long to become more relational and the Holy Spirit slowly but surely reforming Holy Spirit slowly but surely reforming Holy Spirit slowly but surely reforming me into being that sort of person and me into being that sort of person and me into being that sort of person and the Holy Spirit who won't give up on me the Holy Spirit who won't give up on me the Holy Spirit who won't give up on me as long as I will cooperate with him who as long as I will cooperate with him who as long as I will cooperate with him who will help me grow into that person for will help me grow into that person for will help me grow into that person for the rest of my life and the Holy Spirit the rest of my life and the Holy Spirit the rest of my life and the Holy Spirit who knows that I will never outrun my who knows that I will never outrun my who knows that I will never outrun my bias toward being efficient and the bias toward being efficient and the bias toward being efficient and the patterns that are woven deep into my patterns that are woven deep into my patterns that are woven deep into my personality structure and my sin personality structure and my sin personality structure and my sin nature and it is the holy spirit that I nature and it is the holy spirit that I nature and it is the holy spirit that I have have have seen heal a woman's blindness in an seen heal a woman's blindness in an seen heal a woman's blindness in an instant and it is the holy spirit that instant and it is the holy spirit that instant and it is the holy spirit that I've seen take a shoulder that was I've seen take a shoulder that was I've seen take a shoulder that was dislocated and put it back in place dislocated and put it back in place dislocated and put it back in place since the Holy Spirit I've seen speak a since the Holy Spirit I've seen speak a since the Holy Spirit I've seen speak a word of knowledge that causes someone

word of knowledge that causes someone word of knowledge that causes someone who had no interest in Jesus to come who had no interest in Jesus to come who had no interest in Jesus to come unraveled come into faith in him and unraveled come into faith in him and unraveled come into faith in him and then become his devoted disciple both then become his devoted disciple both then become his devoted disciple both are the same spirit and we should call are the same spirit and we should call are the same spirit and we should call on the spirit to come in both inst on the spirit to come in both inst on the spirit to come in both inst that would be the second thing that I've learned this has been such a a rich rich learned this has been such a a rich rich hour and a bit together Tyler want to hour and a bit together Tyler want to hour and a bit together Tyler want to thank you so much is there anything else thank you so much is there anything else thank you so much is there anything else on your mind or heart before we wrap up no I think I would just say uh thank up no I think I would just say uh thank you so much for chatting you so much for chatting you so much for chatting again uh one day it would be great to again uh one day it would be great to again uh one day it would be great to have a mutual conversation love listening instead of this version love listening instead of this version but man it's such a joy to talk with you but man it's such a joy to talk with you but man it's such a joy to talk with you thank you for being such a gracious host thank you for being such a gracious host thank you for being such a gracious host it's an absolute joy to talk with you it's an absolute joy to talk with you it's an absolute joy to talk with you Tyler the book is called The Familiar Tyler the book is called The Familiar Tyler the book is called The Familiar stranger highly recommend it it's out stranger highly recommend it it's out stranger highly recommend it it's out everywhere as this is released and Tyler everywhere as this is released and Tyler everywhere as this is released and Tyler where can people track with you online where can people track with you online where can people track with you online these these these days uh I'm on Instagram under Tyler C days uh I'm on Instagram under Tyler C days uh I'm on Instagram under Tyler C ston and I've got a website tyler.com ston and I've got a website tyler.com ston and I've got a website tyler.com that'll link you to anything and that'll link you to anything and that'll link you to anything and everything and I I Pastor a church everything and I I Pastor a church everything and I I Pastor a church called Bridgetown in Portland Oregon called Bridgetown in Portland Oregon called Bridgetown in Portland Oregon where my teachings uh are offered to my where my teachings uh are offered to my where my teachings uh are offered to my local community and can be found at our local community and can be found at our local community and can be found at our Church's website as well yeah Tyler I

Church's website as well yeah Tyler I Church's website as well yeah Tyler I can't uh thank you enough there's so can't uh thank you enough there's so can't uh thank you enough there's so much more we could have talked about I much more we could have talked about I much more we could have talked about I had a host about a 100 Ministry had a host about a 100 Ministry had a host about a 100 Ministry questions we didn't get to but we'll questions we didn't get to but we'll questions we didn't get to but we'll save those for next time for great save those for next time for great save those for next time for great convers ation this one really blessed me convers ation this one really blessed me convers ation this one really blessed me I feel like it's a replay you know every I feel like it's a replay you know every I feel like it's a replay you know every once in a while you have once in a while you have once in a while you have conversations that I think you go back conversations that I think you go back conversations that I think you go back and listen to more than once and this and listen to more than once and this and listen to more than once and this feels like one of them so thank you for feels like one of them so thank you for feels like one of them so thank you for being so fully present and happy being so fully present and happy being so fully present and happy birthday uh wishing you all the best in birthday uh wishing you all the best in birthday uh wishing you all the best in the upcoming year and years and we'll be the upcoming year and years and we'll be the upcoming year and years and we'll be uh praying for you thank you thanks uh praying for you thank you thanks uh praying for you thank you thanks Carrie