WARNING What Happens When You Give Up Your Phone for 7 Weeks

I was detoxing. My My body was literally I was detoxing. My My body was literally having physical manifestations having physical manifestations having physical manifestations of anxiety. You know what? And I'm of anxiety. You know what? And I'm of anxiety. You know what? And I'm sitting here going like, because of a sitting here going like, because of a sitting here going like, because of a phone? I mean, I I honestly started phone? I mean, I I honestly started phone? I mean, I I honestly started thinking maybe something else is wrong thinking maybe something else is wrong thinking maybe something else is wrong with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was like having night sweats. I was I was like having night sweats. I was I was like having night sweats. I was I was waking up in the middle of the night waking up in the middle of the night waking up in the middle of the night completely soaking wet. completely soaking wet. completely soaking wet. My heart was palpitating uh during the My heart was palpitating uh during the My heart was palpitating uh during the day, like skipping beats, right? So, day, like skipping beats, right? So, day, like skipping beats, right? So, we've all had that happen before, but it we've all had that happen before, but it we've all had that happen before, but it was just kind of happening over and over was just kind of happening over and over was just kind of happening over and over again throughout the day. Um again throughout the day. Um again throughout the day. Um I was I was shaky. I was short of I was I was shaky. I was short of I was I was shaky. I was short of breath. All of these things and it was breath. All of these things and it was breath. All of these things and it was it was actually terrifying. it was actually terrifying. it was actually terrifying. Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on YouTube. It's Carey here. So Podcast on YouTube. It's Carey here. So Podcast on YouTube. It's Carey here. So glad you joined us. Hey, if you're new glad you joined us. Hey, if you're new glad you joined us. Hey, if you're new to the channel, make sure you subscribe. to the channel, make sure you subscribe. to the channel, make sure you subscribe. You're going to get some incredible You're going to get some incredible You're going to get some incredible guests. Carlos Whittaker today, but also guests. Carlos Whittaker today, but also guests. Carlos Whittaker today, but also coming up Jim Collins, Seth Godin, coming up Jim Collins, Seth Godin, coming up Jim Collins, Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, and a whole lot more. Malcolm Gladwell, and a whole lot more. Malcolm Gladwell, and a whole lot more. Hey, today we're going to talk about Hey, today we're going to talk about Hey, today we're going to talk about becoming a monk and Amish for 7 weeks becoming a monk and Amish for 7 weeks becoming a monk and Amish for 7 weeks and what it's like to detox from and what it's like to detox from and what it's like to detox from technology. Also, do you know this technology. Also, do you know this technology. Also, do you know this podcast turns 10 this month? And so, podcast turns 10 this month? And so, podcast turns 10 this month? And so, we're doing a giveaway and we want to we're doing a giveaway and we want to we're doing a giveaway and we want to bless you. I'm doing a Big Green Egg bless you. I'm doing a Big Green Egg bless you. I'm doing a Big Green Egg giveaway. If you like to barbecue, giveaway. If you like to barbecue, giveaway. If you like to barbecue, grill, like smoke brisket, stuff like grill, like smoke brisket, stuff like grill, like smoke brisket, stuff like that, there's nothing better than the that, there's nothing better than the that, there's nothing better than the Big Green Egg. We've got one grand prize Big Green Egg. We've got one grand prize Big Green Egg. We've got one grand prize winner who will win a Big Green Egg winner who will win a Big Green Egg winner who will win a Big Green Egg extra large. That's my favorite size.

extra large. That's my favorite size. extra large. That's my favorite size. Accessories and a special steak Accessories and a special steak Accessories and a special steak delivery. Two runners-up will get Mini delivery. Two runners-up will get Mini delivery. Two runners-up will get Mini Maxes. These are small Big Green Eggs Maxes. These are small Big Green Eggs Maxes. These are small Big Green Eggs that are incredible for portable and that are incredible for portable and that are incredible for portable and other uses, but you can also use them in other uses, but you can also use them in other uses, but you can also use them in your backyard. So, if you want to enter, your backyard. So, if you want to enter, your backyard. So, if you want to enter, simply drop a comment sharing a special simply drop a comment sharing a special simply drop a comment sharing a special moment from this podcast and then head moment from this podcast and then head moment from this podcast and then head over to cnlp.live over to cnlp.live over to cnlp.live where you can register today and get in. where you can register today and get in. where you can register today and get in. Winners will be chosen on September Winners will be chosen on September Winners will be chosen on September 26th. This is open to US and Canadian 26th. This is open to US and Canadian 26th. This is open to US and Canadian residents. Hey, today's podcast is residents. Hey, today's podcast is residents. Hey, today's podcast is brought to you by Upward Sports. They brought to you by Upward Sports. They brought to you by Upward Sports. They are the world's largest Christian youth are the world's largest Christian youth are the world's largest Christian youth sports organization and they want to sports organization and they want to sports organization and they want to support your church's ministry and support your church's ministry and support your church's ministry and promote Christ through sports. Go to promote Christ through sports. Go to promote Christ through sports. Go to upward.org/carey upward.org/carey upward.org/carey to learn more. And Glue is launching a to learn more. And Glue is launching a to learn more. And Glue is launching a new AI search and chat tool similar to new AI search and chat tool similar to new AI search and chat tool similar to chat GPT but based on Christian chat GPT but based on Christian chat GPT but based on Christian perspectives and Christian content. If perspectives and Christian content. If perspectives and Christian content. If you're interested, pre-register for this you're interested, pre-register for this you're interested, pre-register for this brand new tool at ai.glue.us/carey. brand new tool at ai.glue.us/carey. brand new tool at ai.glue.us/carey. And now my conversation with Carlos And now my conversation with Carlos And now my conversation with Carlos Whittaker. Carlos, welcome back to the Whittaker. Carlos, welcome back to the Whittaker. Carlos, welcome back to the podcast. It's great to have you, man.

podcast. It's great to have you, man. podcast. It's great to have you, man. Carey, Carey, Carey, you can say welcome back back back. I you can say welcome back back back. I you can say welcome back back back. I feel like I've been on here like like feel like I've been on here like like feel like I've been on here like like three times. I'm pretty excited to be three times. I'm pretty excited to be three times. I'm pretty excited to be back back back. back back back. back back back. I don't know who holds the record right I don't know who holds the record right I don't know who holds the record right now. That would be interesting to go now. That would be interesting to go now. That would be interesting to go back over like a decade and find out who back over like a decade and find out who back over like a decade and find out who holds the record. I don't know. There's holds the record. I don't know. There's holds the record. I don't know. There's like three or four contenders, but hey, like three or four contenders, but hey, like three or four contenders, but hey, a good convo's a good convo, right? a good convo's a good convo, right? a good convo's a good convo, right? When we've talked about a lot of stuff When we've talked about a lot of stuff When we've talked about a lot of stuff over over over Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right? You don't have someone over for Right? You don't have someone over for Right? You don't have someone over for dinner and it's like, well, we spent an dinner and it's like, well, we spent an dinner and it's like, well, we spent an hour together. That's all there there hour together. That's all there there hour together. That's all there there is, right? And and there are some people is, right? And and there are some people is, right? And and there are some people who are just really interesting to talk who are just really interesting to talk who are just really interesting to talk to and I always find you're one of those to and I always find you're one of those to and I always find you're one of those people. So glad to have you back. people. So glad to have you back. people. So glad to have you back. Man, I'm glad to be here. Man, I'm glad to be here. Man, I'm glad to be here. So, So, So, you have done something I've thought you have done something I've thought you have done something I've thought about from time to time that I've never about from time to time that I've never about from time to time that I've never done. One of my all-time favorite books done. One of my all-time favorite books done. One of my all-time favorite books is the Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen. is the Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen. is the Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen. Yep. Yep. Yep. texted about that, right? And just texted about that, right? And just texted about that, right? And just basically disappeared from technology, basically disappeared from technology, basically disappeared from technology, from the world, became a monk, and then from the world, became a monk, and then from the world, became a monk, and then became Amish, which, you know, why not? became Amish, which, you know, why not? became Amish, which, you know, why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Um Um Um Why not do both, right? What was going Why not do both, right? What was going Why not do both, right? What was going on in your life on in your life on in your life at that time when you made this decision at that time when you made this decision at that time when you made this decision to make you go, yeah, this makes sense.

to make you go, yeah, this makes sense. to make you go, yeah, this makes sense. This is what I need to do. This is what I need to do. This is what I need to do. Yeah. Well, so the decision happened Yeah. Well, so the decision happened Yeah. Well, so the decision happened about a year before I did it. about a year before I did it. about a year before I did it. And and what happened was, you know, I And and what happened was, you know, I And and what happened was, you know, I think at that point all three of my kids think at that point all three of my kids think at that point all three of my kids were living at home. We were just power were living at home. We were just power were living at home. We were just power powerhousing through life. Just like powerhousing through life. Just like powerhousing through life. Just like just, you know, everything was go go go just, you know, everything was go go go just, you know, everything was go go go go go. And my at that point my my go go. And my at that point my my go go. And my at that point my my Instagram had just blown up. You know, Instagram had just blown up. You know, Instagram had just blown up. You know, it was like gaining 30,000 followers it was like gaining 30,000 followers it was like gaining 30,000 followers every month and things are just moving every month and things are just moving every month and things are just moving and and um and and um and and um I was just always on my phone, you know? I was just always on my phone, you know? I was just always on my phone, you know? And during the time I was writing a book And during the time I was writing a book And during the time I was writing a book called How to Human, um which was my called How to Human, um which was my called How to Human, um which was my last book that came out. last book that came out. last book that came out. And Carrie, I just I had a notification And Carrie, I just I had a notification And Carrie, I just I had a notification that that we all get on Sundays that that that we all get on Sundays that that that we all get on Sundays that slide across your screen that tells you slide across your screen that tells you slide across your screen that tells you um how many hours a day you're averaging um how many hours a day you're averaging um how many hours a day you're averaging on your phone. And you know, I I think on your phone. And you know, I I think on your phone. And you know, I I think that they do this for a reason, like that they do this for a reason, like that they do this for a reason, like they're not trying to get you off your they're not trying to get you off your they're not trying to get you off your phone or else they would the phone or else they would the phone or else they would the notification would actually do some math notification would actually do some math notification would actually do some math for you. Because when you start doing for you. Because when you start doing for you. Because when you start doing some math, then you get off your phone, some math, then you get off your phone, some math, then you get off your phone, right? So like it's like oh, 7 hours a right? So like it's like oh, 7 hours a right? So like it's like oh, 7 hours a day? Carrie, like I work on my phone. I day? Carrie, like I work on my phone. I day? Carrie, like I work on my phone. I make videos, I make TikToks. Like I'm make videos, I make TikToks. Like I'm make videos, I make TikToks. Like I'm like, you know, this is my job. I've got like, you know, this is my job. I've got like, you know, this is my job. I've got accountant friends that are on their accountant friends that are on their accountant friends that are on their laptop, you know, 7 hours a day. So laptop, you know, 7 hours a day. So laptop, you know, 7 hours a day. So that's the excuse when I see the that's the excuse when I see the that's the excuse when I see the average. I think it was 7 hours and 23 average. I think it was 7 hours and 23 average. I think it was 7 hours and 23 minutes a day.

minutes a day. minutes a day. how I process. It's like this is my job. how I process. It's like this is my job. how I process. It's like this is my job. Totally, this is my job. But then when I Totally, this is my job. But then when I Totally, this is my job. But then when I did the math, the math took me to well, did the math, the math took me to well, did the math, the math took me to well, how how many hours is that a week? And I how how many hours is that a week? And I how how many hours is that a week? And I was like, oh wow, that's 49 hours a was like, oh wow, that's 49 hours a was like, oh wow, that's 49 hours a week. That's like two entire cycles of week. That's like two entire cycles of week. That's like two entire cycles of the sun a week that I'm looking at my the sun a week that I'm looking at my the sun a week that I'm looking at my phone. Well, that that's kind of phone. Well, that that's kind of phone. Well, that that's kind of depressing. Oh, let me keep going. Oh, depressing. Oh, let me keep going. Oh, depressing. Oh, let me keep going. Oh, that's 3 months a year. 3 months a year. that's 3 months a year. 3 months a year. that's 3 months a year. 3 months a year. 3 months a year that I'm looking at my 3 months a year that I'm looking at my 3 months a year that I'm looking at my phone. phone. phone. That's crazy. And then I kept doing the That's crazy. And then I kept doing the That's crazy. And then I kept doing the math and it was like if I lived to be, I math and it was like if I lived to be, I math and it was like if I lived to be, I don't know, 85. I can't remember what don't know, 85. I can't remember what don't know, 85. I can't remember what the math was. I'll literally look at my the math was. I'll literally look at my the math was. I'll literally look at my phone for over 10 years of my life. I phone for over 10 years of my life. I phone for over 10 years of my life. I just turned 50, so I'm like, holy cow. just turned 50, so I'm like, holy cow. just turned 50, so I'm like, holy cow. Now, if if I were to get a notification Now, if if I were to get a notification Now, if if I were to get a notification that slid across on Sunday that said, that slid across on Sunday that said, that slid across on Sunday that said, "You are losing a decade of your life." "You are losing a decade of your life." "You are losing a decade of your life." I it's completely different, right? And I it's completely different, right? And I it's completely different, right? And so when I did that math, that was when I so when I did that math, that was when I so when I did that math, that was when I just was like, okay, I've got to do just was like, okay, I've got to do just was like, okay, I've got to do something. Like something. Like something. Like like what do I do? And you know, the like what do I do? And you know, the like what do I do? And you know, the what do I do shifted and changed for a what do I do shifted and changed for a what do I do shifted and changed for a few months. Uh but my agent Alex was few months. Uh but my agent Alex was few months. Uh but my agent Alex was involved and I was like, I I feel like involved and I was like, I I feel like involved and I was like, I I feel like this isn't just a me problem. This is a this isn't just a me problem. This is a this isn't just a me problem. This is a pain point that every single person I pain point that every single person I pain point that every single person I know um you won't admit it, but they know um you won't admit it, but they know um you won't admit it, but they they've got. So, whether you're a they've got. So, whether you're a they've got. So, whether you're a Christian or an atheist, a Republican, Christian or an atheist, a Republican, Christian or an atheist, a Republican, Democrat, or a you know, every single Democrat, or a you know, every single Democrat, or a you know, every single person is probably feeling that I just person is probably feeling that I just person is probably feeling that I just need to get off my phone.

need to get off my phone. need to get off my phone. Um and so, Um and so, Um and so, you know, Carrie, there's there's been a you know, Carrie, there's there's been a you know, Carrie, there's there's been a lot of great books out there that have lot of great books out there that have lot of great books out there that have been written on the dangers of phones. A been written on the dangers of phones. A been written on the dangers of phones. A lot of great books that have been lot of great books that have been lot of great books that have been written on on you know, you know, maybe written on on you know, you know, maybe written on on you know, you know, maybe delete social media, maybe some rules on delete social media, maybe some rules on delete social media, maybe some rules on how you can um how you can um how you can um uh not be on your phone as much. I uh not be on your phone as much. I uh not be on your phone as much. I didn't want to write that book. Like I didn't want to write that book. Like I didn't want to write that book. Like I there there was enough of those books. I there there was enough of those books. I there there was enough of those books. I was like, what's actually on the other was like, what's actually on the other was like, what's actually on the other side of it? And so, that was what I side of it? And so, that was what I side of it? And so, that was what I decided to do was um hop on this decided to do was um hop on this decided to do was um hop on this experiment where I became a monk for a experiment where I became a monk for a experiment where I became a monk for a few weeks, I became an Amish farmer for few weeks, I became an Amish farmer for few weeks, I became an Amish farmer for for a few weeks, I disconnected for 7 for a few weeks, I disconnected for 7 for a few weeks, I disconnected for 7 weeks, never looked at a screen, got my weeks, never looked at a screen, got my weeks, never looked at a screen, got my brain scanned by Dr. Daniel Amen before brain scanned by Dr. Daniel Amen before brain scanned by Dr. Daniel Amen before and after, and um the rest is history. and after, and um the rest is history. and after, and um the rest is history. Now, it's a book. Now, it's a book. Now, it's a book. So, here we are. So, here we are. So, here we are. Why a monastery? Roman Catholic Why a monastery? Roman Catholic Why a monastery? Roman Catholic monastery? monastery? monastery? Yeah, yeah. So, Benedictine order, the Yeah, yeah. So, Benedictine order, the Yeah, yeah. So, Benedictine order, the Benedictine order uh was the um monastic Benedictine order uh was the um monastic Benedictine order uh was the um monastic order that I went to. order that I went to. order that I went to. And, you know, there wasn't a lot of And, you know, there wasn't a lot of And, you know, there wasn't a lot of deep thought into it because my wife, deep thought into it because my wife, deep thought into it because my wife, her father was a very high capacity her father was a very high capacity her father was a very high capacity volunteer at this particular abbey in volunteer at this particular abbey in volunteer at this particular abbey in the '70s and '80s. And so, my wife's the '70s and '80s. And so, my wife's the '70s and '80s. And so, my wife's father would go up there. He was best father would go up there. He was best father would go up there. He was best friends with a few of the monks. He was friends with a few of the monks. He was friends with a few of the monks. He was uh so, he's what they call an oblate.

uh so, he's what they call an oblate. uh so, he's what they call an oblate. And an oblate And an oblate And an oblate is basically a is basically a is basically a civilian is almost what came out of my civilian is almost what came out of my civilian is almost what came out of my mouth, but a a non a non-monk that is uh mouth, but a a non a non-monk that is uh mouth, but a a non a non-monk that is uh taking the vows, the same vows that a taking the vows, the same vows that a taking the vows, the same vows that a monk would um to the point of following monk would um to the point of following monk would um to the point of following the Benedictine order. And so, her dad the Benedictine order. And so, her dad the Benedictine order. And so, her dad was that. And so, he was really tight was that. And so, he was really tight was that. And so, he was really tight with a lot of these monks at the with a lot of these monks at the with a lot of these monks at the monastery. So, when I was just kind of monastery. So, when I was just kind of monastery. So, when I was just kind of like, "Hey, where do I go? Like, how do like, "Hey, where do I go? Like, how do like, "Hey, where do I go? Like, how do I Where Where do I go to do this?" She's I Where Where do I go to do this?" She's I Where Where do I go to do this?" She's like, "Well, what about What about like, "Well, what about What about like, "Well, what about What about Valyermo, St. Andrew's Abbey?" And I was Valyermo, St. Andrew's Abbey?" And I was Valyermo, St. Andrew's Abbey?" And I was like, "Oh my gosh, could you call Abbot like, "Oh my gosh, could you call Abbot like, "Oh my gosh, could you call Abbot Francis?" And so, literally, Heather Francis?" And so, literally, Heather Francis?" And so, literally, Heather calls and is like, "Hey, Abbot Francis, calls and is like, "Hey, Abbot Francis, calls and is like, "Hey, Abbot Francis, my name is Heather Berkhuem." "Oh, my name is Heather Berkhuem." "Oh, my name is Heather Berkhuem." "Oh, Berkhuem? Oh, Berkhuem? Oh, Berkhuem? Oh, Bill's daughter. Oh, how are you? I Bill's daughter. Oh, how are you? I Bill's daughter. Oh, how are you? I remember you used to run around the remember you used to run around the remember you used to run around the cemetery and run around the grounds. How cemetery and run around the grounds. How cemetery and run around the grounds. How are you? You were a little girl." You are you? You were a little girl." You are you? You were a little girl." You know, and so I I'm a I'm he's she's on know, and so I I'm a I'm he's she's on know, and so I I'm a I'm he's she's on speakerphone and I'm listening to this speakerphone and I'm listening to this speakerphone and I'm listening to this whole conversation and she's like, "So, whole conversation and she's like, "So, whole conversation and she's like, "So, my husband," she tells the story, like, my husband," she tells the story, like, my husband," she tells the story, like, "he wants to come live when not look at "he wants to come live when not look at "he wants to come live when not look at screens." And I'll never forget when screens." And I'll never forget when screens." And I'll never forget when he's like, "Well, we all have phones.

he's like, "Well, we all have phones. he's like, "Well, we all have phones. Like like like it's not like he's going Like like like it's not like he's going Like like like it's not like he's going to get away from to get away from to get away from like move to a place where there's not like move to a place where there's not like move to a place where there's not phones. We all have phones, but he's phones. We all have phones, but he's phones. We all have phones, but he's totally welcome totally welcome totally welcome to come." And so, that was why I chose to come." And so, that was why I chose to come." And so, that was why I chose Valyermo, the Benedictine monastery, was Valyermo, the Benedictine monastery, was Valyermo, the Benedictine monastery, was because they gave me the opportunity to because they gave me the opportunity to because they gave me the opportunity to stay there. Most guests, especially in stay there. Most guests, especially in stay there. Most guests, especially in the Benedictine order, uh they're very a the Benedictine order, uh they're very a the Benedictine order, uh they're very a very hospitable order of monks, and so very hospitable order of monks, and so very hospitable order of monks, and so hospitality is very high on their list. hospitality is very high on their list. hospitality is very high on their list. And so, they have retreats there. They And so, they have retreats there. They And so, they have retreats there. They have retreat houses with guest rooms have retreat houses with guest rooms have retreat houses with guest rooms that you can rent. Uh but they normally that you can rent. Uh but they normally that you can rent. Uh but they normally only have people stay 3 days a week, uh only have people stay 3 days a week, uh only have people stay 3 days a week, uh at most for 3 days at a time. So, when I at most for 3 days at a time. So, when I at most for 3 days at a time. So, when I asked for 14 days, it kind of had to asked for 14 days, it kind of had to asked for 14 days, it kind of had to move up the monk hierarchy until it got move up the monk hierarchy until it got move up the monk hierarchy until it got to the main monk, and the main monk's to the main monk, and the main monk's to the main monk, and the main monk's like, "Well, who's this guy? What's he like, "Well, who's this guy? What's he like, "Well, who's this guy? What's he want?" Uh next thing you know, I I get want?" Uh next thing you know, I I get want?" Uh next thing you know, I I get the yes, and that was the first yes I the yes, and that was the first yes I the yes, and that was the first yes I needed in order to start this thing. needed in order to start this thing. needed in order to start this thing. So, the monks have phones. Interesting. So, the monks have phones. Interesting. So, the monks have phones. Interesting. have phones. Not only do the monks have have phones. Not only do the monks have have phones. Not only do the monks have phones, the monks have problems with phones, the monks have problems with phones, the monks have problems with phones. phones. phones. Phones. Phones. Phones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They, too. They, too. They, too. Oh. Oh. Oh. They, They, They, too. Uh Father Carlos, who's second in too. Uh Father Carlos, who's second in too. Uh Father Carlos, who's second in command at the monastery, which I command at the monastery, which I command at the monastery, which I thought was great. There's a Carlos thought was great. There's a Carlos thought was great. There's a Carlos Father Carlos there.

Father Carlos there. Father Carlos there. He I mean, he looked me straight in the He I mean, he looked me straight in the He I mean, he looked me straight in the face and was like, "We We face and was like, "We We face and was like, "We We phones have been great because we've phones have been great because we've phones have been great because we've been able to, been able to, been able to, you know, stay up to date with world you know, stay up to date with world you know, stay up to date with world news and stay up to date with things news and stay up to date with things news and stay up to date with things that are happening. There's great that are happening. There's great that are happening. There's great things, but it's also, you know, he was things, but it's also, you know, he was things, but it's also, you know, he was like, "It's a it's a portal to sin." like, "It's a it's a portal to sin." like, "It's a it's a portal to sin." And, you know, we have to we we have to And, you know, we have to we we have to And, you know, we have to we we have to be careful what we allow, you know, our be careful what we allow, you know, our be careful what we allow, you know, our minds to consume. And he's like, you minds to consume. And he's like, you minds to consume. And he's like, you know, and to be honest, like, nobody know, and to be honest, like, nobody know, and to be honest, like, nobody wants to see a monk on their phone on wants to see a monk on their phone on wants to see a monk on their phone on the abbey grounds. Like, no guest wants the abbey grounds. Like, no guest wants the abbey grounds. Like, no guest wants to see that, you know? to see that, you know? to see that, you know? So, like, we're having to set up rules. So, like, we're having to set up rules. So, like, we're having to set up rules. Carlos, I think we need to read your Carlos, I think we need to read your Carlos, I think we need to read your book, you know? So, uh yeah, the monks book, you know? So, uh yeah, the monks book, you know? So, uh yeah, the monks have phones, too. Like, it's it's uh have phones, too. Like, it's it's uh have phones, too. Like, it's it's uh which kind of made me a little sad, to which kind of made me a little sad, to which kind of made me a little sad, to be honest with you. Like, I was be honest with you. Like, I was be honest with you. Like, I was It makes me a little bit sad. I mean, It makes me a little bit sad. I mean, It makes me a little bit sad. I mean, the Amish, depending on your order, they the Amish, depending on your order, they the Amish, depending on your order, they have phones, too, or they have have phones, too, or they have have phones, too, or they have electronics. And electronics. And electronics. And it just makes you wish. And you know, it just makes you wish. And you know, it just makes you wish. And you know, the the other thing that that hit me as the the other thing that that hit me as the the other thing that that hit me as I read this, you know, you were saying I read this, you know, you were saying I read this, you know, you were saying you just turned 50 or about to turn 50. you just turned 50 or about to turn 50. you just turned 50 or about to turn 50. You know, I got almost a decade on you. You know, I got almost a decade on you. You know, I got almost a decade on you. Uh age is no factor. It's not like even Uh age is no factor. It's not like even Uh age is no factor. It's not like even if you have a long pre-digital memory, if you have a long pre-digital memory, if you have a long pre-digital memory, these little machines, like, they they these little machines, like, they they these little machines, like, they they suck up your brain and your attention.

suck up your brain and your attention. suck up your brain and your attention. And I last year, 2023, And I last year, 2023, And I last year, 2023, I decided I need to learn how to read I decided I need to learn how to read I decided I need to learn how to read again. Like, I I know how to read, but again. Like, I I know how to read, but again. Like, I I know how to read, but like my attention was so shattered like my attention was so shattered like my attention was so shattered that it was difficult for me to go that it was difficult for me to go that it was difficult for me to go through a book like systemically to through a book like systemically to through a book like systemically to pleasure read a book. And so, I made pleasure read a book. And so, I made pleasure read a book. And so, I made myself myself myself relearn the art of reading. And, you relearn the art of reading. And, you relearn the art of reading. And, you know, kind of know, kind of know, kind of stuff I never thought I'd have to do. stuff I never thought I'd have to do. stuff I never thought I'd have to do. I know. I know. I know. So, you mentioned that you had a brain So, you mentioned that you had a brain So, you mentioned that you had a brain scan by Dr. Daniel Amen. So, his name scan by Dr. Daniel Amen. So, his name scan by Dr. Daniel Amen. So, his name comes up all the time. I don't know why. comes up all the time. I don't know why. comes up all the time. I don't know why. It's just like, you know, you buy a It's just like, you know, you buy a It's just like, you know, you buy a yellow car, you see yellow cars yellow car, you see yellow cars yellow car, you see yellow cars everywhere. everywhere. everywhere. I haven't like engaged him. I haven't like engaged him. I haven't like engaged him. Sure. Sure. Sure. But everybody I talk to everybody I know But everybody I talk to everybody I know But everybody I talk to everybody I know is talking about Dr. Amen these days. is talking about Dr. Amen these days. is talking about Dr. Amen these days. So, why him? What's going on there? And So, why him? What's going on there? And So, why him? What's going on there? And talk to me about the brain scan. talk to me about the brain scan. talk to me about the brain scan. Yeah, I am Yeah, I am Yeah, I am you know, I said, "Okay, I'm going to you know, I said, "Okay, I'm going to you know, I said, "Okay, I'm going to live with monks. I'm going to live with live with monks. I'm going to live with live with monks. I'm going to live with the Amish. I'm going to not look at my the Amish. I'm going to not look at my the Amish. I'm going to not look at my phone. And I want I want to write a phone. And I want I want to write a phone. And I want I want to write a book." So, yeah, that was set. Like, book." So, yeah, that was set. Like, book." So, yeah, that was set. Like, actually, like, all of that got set up. actually, like, all of that got set up. actually, like, all of that got set up. And it was set for a few months. And it was set for a few months. And it was set for a few months. Um and it was actually my wife. Once Um and it was actually my wife. Once Um and it was actually my wife. Once again, it's always my wife that has again, it's always my wife that has again, it's always my wife that has these ideas. She's like, "You should these ideas. She's like, "You should these ideas. She's like, "You should There needs to be a medical aspect to There needs to be a medical aspect to There needs to be a medical aspect to this. Like, you've got to like, you this. Like, you've got to like, you this. Like, you've got to like, you know, and and I'll be honest, Carrie, know, and and I'll be honest, Carrie, know, and and I'll be honest, Carrie, like, like, like, I I I have like a, you know, a phobia, a I I I have like a, you know, a phobia, a I I I have like a, you know, a phobia, a fear of doctors, like, just of, you fear of doctors, like, just of, you fear of doctors, like, just of, you know, I've had a lot of health anxiety know, I've had a lot of health anxiety know, I've had a lot of health anxiety in my life, and I'm just like, I just in my life, and I'm just like, I just in my life, and I'm just like, I just don't want to do that, babe. Like, I don't want to do that, babe. Like, I don't want to do that, babe. Like, I don't want to My dad has dementia.

don't want to My dad has dementia. don't want to My dad has dementia. I don't want some doctor I don't want some doctor I don't want some doctor want to find out. want to find out. want to find out. to scan my brain and be like, "Whoa, to scan my brain and be like, "Whoa, to scan my brain and be like, "Whoa, bro, you got a You got a couple years bro, you got a You got a couple years bro, you got a You got a couple years left." You know, like, I just was, you left." You know, like, I just was, you left." You know, like, I just was, you know, so she's like, "Ah, well, it looks know, so she's like, "Ah, well, it looks know, so she's like, "Ah, well, it looks like you got some more work that you've like you got some more work that you've like you got some more work that you've got to do then." And um, so I started got to do then." And um, so I started got to do then." And um, so I started kind of researching. I had a a couple of kind of researching. I had a a couple of kind of researching. I had a a couple of neuroscientist friends, literally, two neuroscientist friends, literally, two neuroscientist friends, literally, two neuroscientist friends here in Nashville neuroscientist friends here in Nashville neuroscientist friends here in Nashville that I asked if they could scan my that I asked if they could scan my that I asked if they could scan my brain, what would that look like? And brain, what would that look like? And brain, what would that look like? And they're like, "Well, they're like, "Well, they're like, "Well, the kind of scan we would do, you the kind of scan we would do, you the kind of scan we would do, you probably wouldn't be able to see any probably wouldn't be able to see any probably wouldn't be able to see any results in a month or two or whatever, results in a month or two or whatever, results in a month or two or whatever, but um, there's these SPECT scans, so S but um, there's these SPECT scans, so S but um, there's these SPECT scans, so S P E C T scans, P E C T scans, P E C T scans, Right. Right. Right. that probably will show uh, differences. that probably will show uh, differences. that probably will show uh, differences. And they both gave me Dr. Amen um, his And they both gave me Dr. Amen um, his And they both gave me Dr. Amen um, his contact. And so, I found out he's like, contact. And so, I found out he's like, contact. And so, I found out he's like, he has like, I don't know, millions of he has like, I don't know, millions of he has like, I don't know, millions of followers on TikTok. And then when I followers on TikTok. And then when I followers on TikTok. And then when I found him, I was like, "Wait, I've seen found him, I was like, "Wait, I've seen found him, I was like, "Wait, I've seen this guy before on the Kardashians." this guy before on the Kardashians." this guy before on the Kardashians." Like, he's just kind of like the, I Like, he's just kind of like the, I Like, he's just kind of like the, I don't know, the the hip, you know, don't know, the the hip, you know, don't know, the the hip, you know, neuroscientist dude. So, I just DM'd him neuroscientist dude. So, I just DM'd him neuroscientist dude. So, I just DM'd him and didn't think I'd ever hear back, and and didn't think I'd ever hear back, and and didn't think I'd ever hear back, and I was like, "Hey, I'm going to do this I was like, "Hey, I'm going to do this I was like, "Hey, I'm going to do this experiment. Would you scan my brain experiment. Would you scan my brain experiment. Would you scan my brain before and after to see if there's a before and after to see if there's a before and after to see if there's a difference?" And I don't know, within 5 difference?" And I don't know, within 5 difference?" And I don't know, within 5 minutes, he hit me back, and he's like, minutes, he hit me back, and he's like, minutes, he hit me back, and he's like, "We would love to do it. Hop on a plane, "We would love to do it. Hop on a plane, "We would love to do it. Hop on a plane, get out here, and we'll scan you before, get out here, and we'll scan you before, get out here, and we'll scan you before, we'll scan you after, and then we'll we'll scan you after, and then we'll we'll scan you after, and then we'll have you on our show." Um, so it was it have you on our show." Um, so it was it have you on our show." Um, so it was it was a pretty easy ask. And so, but but I was a pretty easy ask. And so, but but I was a pretty easy ask. And so, but but I added that because I do feel like, um, added that because I do feel like, um, added that because I do feel like, um, you know, people people wonder what this you know, people people wonder what this you know, people people wonder what this is doing to our brains. Like, but like, is doing to our brains. Like, but like, is doing to our brains. Like, but like, I do, at least I wonder like, what's all I do, at least I wonder like, what's all I do, at least I wonder like, what's all of this doing to my brain? Like, um, I

of this doing to my brain? Like, um, I of this doing to my brain? Like, um, I know I know it's causing anxiety, but know I know it's causing anxiety, but know I know it's causing anxiety, but will you be able to see it? Also knowing will you be able to see it? Also knowing will you be able to see it? Also knowing Carrie, this also wasn't like it's not Carrie, this also wasn't like it's not Carrie, this also wasn't like it's not like a medical study, right? Like this like a medical study, right? Like this like a medical study, right? Like this isn't like a scientific experiment. I am isn't like a scientific experiment. I am isn't like a scientific experiment. I am data point number one and that is it, data point number one and that is it, data point number one and that is it, right? So So the brain scan it's going right? So So the brain scan it's going right? So So the brain scan it's going to be um it's going to it's it's going to be um it's going to it's it's going to be um it's going to it's it's going to be my story, but you know, it's not to be my story, but you know, it's not to be my story, but you know, it's not necessarily a study. So I decided it necessarily a study. So I decided it necessarily a study. So I decided it would be interesting and he decided to would be interesting and he decided to would be interesting and he decided to hop in on the whole experiment and I'm hop in on the whole experiment and I'm hop in on the whole experiment and I'm really grateful that he did. really grateful that he did. really grateful that he did. So you go there, what does the initial So you go there, what does the initial So you go there, what does the initial scan show? scan show? scan show? Yeah, so I go there and my initial scan Yeah, so I go there and my initial scan Yeah, so I go there and my initial scan was very lumpy. He just kept saying, was very lumpy. He just kept saying, was very lumpy. He just kept saying, "Wow, you got a real lumpy brain." I was "Wow, you got a real lumpy brain." I was "Wow, you got a real lumpy brain." I was like, "Oh, awesome." Um and uh you know, like, "Oh, awesome." Um and uh you know, like, "Oh, awesome." Um and uh you know, the the actual the the actual the the actual good. good. good. Yeah, the actual um Yeah, the actual um Yeah, the actual um uh like he actually said when he sat uh like he actually said when he sat uh like he actually said when he sat down after I got my scan, he's like, down after I got my scan, he's like, down after I got my scan, he's like, "Did you play um "Did you play um "Did you play um competitive soccer growing up?" And I competitive soccer growing up?" And I competitive soccer growing up?" And I was like, "Yeah." And I was like, "How was like, "Yeah." And I was like, "How was like, "Yeah." And I was like, "How does he know that?" Like I haven't He's does he know that?" Like I haven't He's does he know that?" Like I haven't He's like, "Because in most cases that I see like, "Because in most cases that I see like, "Because in most cases that I see are brains that have a large dent on the are brains that have a large dent on the are brains that have a large dent on the front." Um and he showed me my brain and front." Um and he showed me my brain and front." Um and he showed me my brain and sure enough, there's a gigantic dent at sure enough, there's a gigantic dent at sure enough, there's a gigantic dent at the very tip where I would head a soccer the very tip where I would head a soccer the very tip where I would head a soccer ball. He goes He goes, "That's That's ball. He goes He goes, "That's That's ball. He goes He goes, "That's That's because you kept banging your head because you kept banging your head because you kept banging your head against the soccer ball and I need to against the soccer ball and I need to against the soccer ball and I need to let you know that the brain is the let you know that the brain is the let you know that the brain is the consistency of Jell-O. And so the more consistency of Jell-O. And so the more consistency of Jell-O. And so the more you do that I was like, "Wow." And he you do that I was like, "Wow." And he you do that I was like, "Wow." And he goes, "So with soccer players, you see goes, "So with soccer players, you see goes, "So with soccer players, you see this a lot. With football players, you this a lot. With football players, you this a lot. With football players, you see dents kind of all over the place."

see dents kind of all over the place." see dents kind of all over the place." Um but you know, we saw my lumpy brain. Um but you know, we saw my lumpy brain. Um but you know, we saw my lumpy brain. Um he had me do like a which was really Um he had me do like a which was really Um he had me do like a which was really actually um terrifying. I Besides the actually um terrifying. I Besides the actually um terrifying. I Besides the brain scan, he did a um like a cognitive brain scan, he did a um like a cognitive brain scan, he did a um like a cognitive memory memory memory score, right? A rating. So he would score, right? A rating. So he would score, right? A rating. So he would you'd sit in front of uh these you'd sit in front of uh these you'd sit in front of uh these computers. Literally it it's like you computers. Literally it it's like you computers. Literally it it's like you walked into like a Stranger Things walked into like a Stranger Things walked into like a Stranger Things episode of 1983. You're in a dark room episode of 1983. You're in a dark room episode of 1983. You're in a dark room with like a Apple 2 Plus or something, with like a Apple 2 Plus or something, with like a Apple 2 Plus or something, you know, and it's just flashing like you know, and it's just flashing like you know, and it's just flashing like like letters and numbers on the screen like letters and numbers on the screen like letters and numbers on the screen and you're supposed to hold your finger and you're supposed to hold your finger and you're supposed to hold your finger over the space bar and whenever you see over the space bar and whenever you see over the space bar and whenever you see the letter Y, you have to hit the space the letter Y, you have to hit the space the letter Y, you have to hit the space bar, right? And so you have to do it as bar, right? And so you have to do it as bar, right? And so you have to do it as fast as you can. Um and so you know, fast as you can. Um and so you know, fast as you can. Um and so you know, like those kind of tests, they flashes like those kind of tests, they flashes like those kind of tests, they flashes photos of different faces, like 20 faces photos of different faces, like 20 faces photos of different faces, like 20 faces and then it gives you 40 faces and you and then it gives you 40 faces and you and then it gives you 40 faces and you have to hit the space bar when you have to hit the space bar when you have to hit the space bar when you recognize a face from So like all of recognize a face from So like all of recognize a face from So like all of that stuff. So I did a cognitive memory that stuff. So I did a cognitive memory that stuff. So I did a cognitive memory score, scored in like the 50th score, scored in like the 50th score, scored in like the 50th percentile. percentile. percentile. Okay, so average. Okay, so average. Okay, so average. Okay, I'm like average. I got like Okay, I'm like average. I got like Okay, I'm like average. I got like average memory. Um and my brain is is average memory. Um and my brain is is average memory. Um and my brain is is lumpy, but he didn't seem overly lumpy, but he didn't seem overly lumpy, but he didn't seem overly concerned. He's like, "We can fix this."

concerned. He's like, "We can fix this." concerned. He's like, "We can fix this." Um he's like, "I think this is a great Um he's like, "I think this is a great Um he's like, "I think this is a great starting point uh to see what happens starting point uh to see what happens starting point uh to see what happens when you don't look at your phone for 7 when you don't look at your phone for 7 when you don't look at your phone for 7 weeks, you know?" And you know, he's weeks, you know?" And you know, he's weeks, you know?" And you know, he's like, "I'll see you in 7 weeks." And uh like, "I'll see you in 7 weeks." And uh like, "I'll see you in 7 weeks." And uh you know, I and I left and you know, I and I left and you know, I and I left and Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, and that that was that was that Yeah, and that that was that was that Yeah, and that that was that was that was that. was that. was that. Yeah. Um you get there, what was it like Yeah. Um you get there, what was it like Yeah. Um you get there, what was it like when you got there? Like set the scene when you got there? Like set the scene when you got there? Like set the scene for us. Give us a visual of Carlos at for us. Give us a visual of Carlos at for us. Give us a visual of Carlos at the uh monastery. the uh monastery. the uh monastery. Yes. I got my best friend Brian, he Yes. I got my best friend Brian, he Yes. I got my best friend Brian, he picks me up, right? And I'm like on my picks me up, right? And I'm like on my picks me up, right? And I'm like on my way, we stopped for In-N-Out on the way way, we stopped for In-N-Out on the way way, we stopped for In-N-Out on the way to this I'm like, I don't know what to this I'm like, I don't know what to this I'm like, I don't know what monks eat, so I'm going to have like one monks eat, so I'm going to have like one monks eat, so I'm going to have like one last meal, right? Like it's like it's last meal, right? Like it's like it's last meal, right? Like it's like it's like like like Like lentils or something. Like lentils or something. Like lentils or something. Yeah, totally, right? Like yeah, they're Yeah, totally, right? Like yeah, they're Yeah, totally, right? Like yeah, they're they're just they've got soup, you know, they're just they've got soup, you know, they're just they've got soup, you know, they're and so um in a big cast iron pot they're and so um in a big cast iron pot they're and so um in a big cast iron pot over an open flame, over an open flame, over an open flame, Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. and then in in a cave, and then in in a cave, and then in in a cave, Yeah, kind of gruel comes to mind. I Yeah, kind of gruel comes to mind. I Yeah, kind of gruel comes to mind. I don't know why. I'm sure that's totally don't know why. I'm sure that's totally don't know why. I'm sure that's totally not true, but not true, but not true, but Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's very Gargamel Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's very Gargamel Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's very Gargamel on the Smurfs is like what I'm like like on the Smurfs is like what I'm like like on the Smurfs is like what I'm like like imagining, you know, of what the monks imagining, you know, of what the monks imagining, you know, of what the monks are cooking, but where where we start are cooking, but where where we start are cooking, but where where we start heading from LA Orange County Airport, heading from LA Orange County Airport, heading from LA Orange County Airport, John Wayne, um and we kind of start John Wayne, um and we kind of start John Wayne, um and we kind of start heading up over the pass towards heading up over the pass towards heading up over the pass towards Bakersfield.

Bakersfield. Bakersfield. Oh, so you're in the desert like in Oh, so you're in the desert like in Oh, so you're in the desert like in California. California. California. Well, actually Bakersfield's not desert. Well, actually Bakersfield's not desert. Well, actually Bakersfield's not desert. Well, so so it was in between LA and Well, so so it was in between LA and Well, so so it was in between LA and Bakersfield in the high desert. So it's Bakersfield in the high desert. So it's Bakersfield in the high desert. So it's like like like over Yeah, so it was like over the San over Yeah, so it was like over the San over Yeah, so it was like over the San Gorgonio mountains Gorgonio mountains Gorgonio mountains in the high desert and bro, it was like in the high desert and bro, it was like in the high desert and bro, it was like a you know, we start driving out there a you know, we start driving out there a you know, we start driving out there past these, you know, trailers and it past these, you know, trailers and it past these, you know, trailers and it literally looked like he was dropping me literally looked like he was dropping me literally looked like he was dropping me off at Breaking Bad. Like it just a off at Breaking Bad. Like it just a off at Breaking Bad. Like it just a scene in Breaking Bad. Like it was scene in Breaking Bad. Like it was scene in Breaking Bad. Like it was it was crazy. And so, we finally get it was crazy. And so, we finally get it was crazy. And so, we finally get there, and it's like we're in the there, and it's like we're in the there, and it's like we're in the desert, desert, desert, and then desert, desert, desert, and then desert, desert, desert, and then we turn the corner, and it is like we turn the corner, and it is like we turn the corner, and it is like green, and trees, and lush, and we land green, and trees, and lush, and we land green, and trees, and lush, and we land in this oasis of this um monastery abbey in this oasis of this um monastery abbey in this oasis of this um monastery abbey grounds, where these monks live, and grounds, where these monks live, and grounds, where these monks live, and they work, and they pray, and they monk. they work, and they pray, and they monk. they work, and they pray, and they monk. And we get there, um And we get there, um And we get there, um my buddy Brian helps me take my bags up my buddy Brian helps me take my bags up my buddy Brian helps me take my bags up to my little, to my little, to my little, you know, it was like a little you know, it was like a little you know, it was like a little one-bedroom cabin overlooking the one-bedroom cabin overlooking the one-bedroom cabin overlooking the monastery grounds. And you know, he kind monastery grounds. And you know, he kind monastery grounds. And you know, he kind of looks at me, he's like, "Hey, man, I of looks at me, he's like, "Hey, man, I of looks at me, he's like, "Hey, man, I I think you're going to have it rough I think you're going to have it rough I think you're going to have it rough for a few days, but I think it's going for a few days, but I think it's going for a few days, but I think it's going to get better." Like he to get better." Like he to get better." Like he He like he he didn't even like sugarcoat He like he he didn't even like sugarcoat He like he he didn't even like sugarcoat it. And my heart was was palpitating, it it. And my heart was was palpitating, it it. And my heart was was palpitating, it was pounding. I was scared. And when he was pounding. I was scared. And when he was pounding. I was scared. And when he drove away, Carrie, you know, he had my drove away, Carrie, you know, he had my drove away, Carrie, you know, he had my phone in his hand, he had my laptop, he phone in his hand, he had my laptop, he phone in his hand, he had my laptop, he had my backpack. He took all of my had my backpack. He took all of my had my backpack. He took all of my technology. All technology. All technology. All All your security is going down the All your security is going down the All your security is going down the driveway with him.

driveway with him. driveway with him. he just drives away. he just drives away. he just drives away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I just was standing there, like And I just was standing there, like And I just was standing there, like "What do I do now? What what "What do I do now? What what "What do I do now? What what Where do I go?" You know, I mean, the Where do I go?" You know, I mean, the Where do I go?" You know, I mean, the amount of times I reached to my pocket amount of times I reached to my pocket amount of times I reached to my pocket in that first hour just to grab, and in that first hour just to grab, and in that first hour just to grab, and there was nothing there. Not only was there was nothing there. Not only was there was nothing there. Not only was there nothing there, it was hundreds of there nothing there, it was hundreds of there nothing there, it was hundreds of miles away. Um and so, so began the, you miles away. Um and so, so began the, you miles away. Um and so, so began the, you know, the the dark night of my soul for know, the the dark night of my soul for know, the the dark night of my soul for 3 days uh at the monastery. It was 3 days uh at the monastery. It was 3 days uh at the monastery. It was horrible. horrible. horrible. Yeah, what was detox? Talk to us about Yeah, what was detox? Talk to us about Yeah, what was detox? Talk to us about detox. detox. detox. Yeah, you know, it I was detoxing. I'm Yeah, you know, it I was detoxing. I'm Yeah, you know, it I was detoxing. I'm my my body was literally having physical my my body was literally having physical my my body was literally having physical manifestations manifestations manifestations of anxiety. You know, and and I'm of anxiety. You know, and and I'm of anxiety. You know, and and I'm sitting here going like, "Because of a sitting here going like, "Because of a sitting here going like, "Because of a phone?" I mean, I I honestly started phone?" I mean, I I honestly started phone?" I mean, I I honestly started thinking maybe something else is wrong thinking maybe something else is wrong thinking maybe something else is wrong with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was with me. Am I sick? Am I Because I was like having night sweats. I would I was like having night sweats. I would I was like having night sweats. I would I was waking up in the middle of the night waking up in the middle of the night waking up in the middle of the night completely soaking wet. completely soaking wet. completely soaking wet. My heart was palpitating uh during the My heart was palpitating uh during the My heart was palpitating uh during the day, like skipping beats, right? So, day, like skipping beats, right? So, day, like skipping beats, right? So, we've all had that happen before, but it we've all had that happen before, but it we've all had that happen before, but it was just kind of happening over and over was just kind of happening over and over was just kind of happening over and over again throughout the day.

again throughout the day. again throughout the day. Um, I was I was shaky. I was short of Um, I was I was shaky. I was short of Um, I was I was shaky. I was short of breath. All of these things, and it was breath. All of these things, and it was breath. All of these things, and it was it was actually terrifying. Um, what was it was actually terrifying. Um, what was it was actually terrifying. Um, what was terrifying was terrifying was terrifying was I think what I was detoxing from wasn't I think what I was detoxing from wasn't I think what I was detoxing from wasn't I can say this now with pretty I can say this now with pretty I can say this now with pretty confidently. I wasn't detoxing off of a confidently. I wasn't detoxing off of a confidently. I wasn't detoxing off of a phone. I was detoxing off of the phone. I was detoxing off of the phone. I was detoxing off of the illusion of control that I had in my illusion of control that I had in my illusion of control that I had in my life. And And that's really what was the life. And And that's really what was the life. And And that's really what was the scariest thing was this scariest thing was this scariest thing was this um was we're so addicted to knowledge um was we're so addicted to knowledge um was we're so addicted to knowledge because knowledge makes us feel like because knowledge makes us feel like because knowledge makes us feel like we're in control. And suddenly I didn't we're in control. And suddenly I didn't we're in control. And suddenly I didn't have that knowledge anymore, and I have that knowledge anymore, and I have that knowledge anymore, and I didn't have that control anymore. And didn't have that control anymore. And didn't have that control anymore. And And it was it was it was pretty radical And it was it was it was pretty radical And it was it was it was pretty radical uh what happened those first few days. uh what happened those first few days. uh what happened those first few days. Um, Dr. Amen would say that I was Um, Dr. Amen would say that I was Um, Dr. Amen would say that I was detoxing off of, you know, that my my detoxing off of, you know, that my my detoxing off of, you know, that my my serotonin levels were you know, coming serotonin levels were you know, coming serotonin levels were you know, coming back into balance because of knowledge. back into balance because of knowledge. back into balance because of knowledge. He He would say detoxing from knowledge, He He would say detoxing from knowledge, He He would say detoxing from knowledge, the drug of knowledge. Um, I I I the drug of knowledge. Um, I I I the drug of knowledge. Um, I I I definitely think it was control because definitely think it was control because definitely think it was control because of the knowledge. And it was three I of the knowledge. And it was three I of the knowledge. And it was three I almost left day two. I um I had a almost left day two. I um I had a almost left day two. I um I had a certain time block every day that I certain time block every day that I certain time block every day that I would contact my wife. And um I I called would contact my wife. And um I I called would contact my wife. And um I I called her and I was weeping. I I was crying. I her and I was weeping. I I was crying. I her and I was weeping. I I was crying. I was like, "Babe, I'm coming was like, "Babe, I'm coming was like, "Babe, I'm coming Are you calling from like a landline or Are you calling from like a landline or Are you calling from like a landline or something?

something? something? so so like it was either I'd either use so so like it was either I'd either use so so like it was either I'd either use a monk's phone or I would use a a a monk's phone or I would use a a a monk's phone or I would use a a landline or kind of whatever it was. landline or kind of whatever it was. landline or kind of whatever it was. Most of the time just a landline. They Most of the time just a landline. They Most of the time just a landline. They actually still had a working payphone on actually still had a working payphone on actually still had a working payphone on the property, which was so cool. I was the property, which was so cool. I was the property, which was so cool. I was like, like, like, That's fantastic. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. "Can I use like a calling card?" "Can I use like a calling card?" "Can I use like a calling card?" For your dimes, man. For your dimes, man. For your dimes, man. So, you know, so I'd call her So, you know, so I'd call her So, you know, so I'd call her um and I was like, "Babe, I'm coming um and I was like, "Babe, I'm coming um and I was like, "Babe, I'm coming home. I can't do this, you know?" And uh home. I can't do this, you know?" And uh home. I can't do this, you know?" And uh she's like, "Okay, like I she's like, "Okay, like I she's like, "Okay, like I I just feel like you've made all of this I just feel like you've made all of this I just feel like you've made all of this You've made this decision. Like I I just You've made this decision. Like I I just You've made this decision. Like I I just think you can do it, and you know, I think you can do it, and you know, I think you can do it, and you know, I prayed, and it was it was a struggle, prayed, and it was it was a struggle, prayed, and it was it was a struggle, but I kind of started pushing my way but I kind of started pushing my way but I kind of started pushing my way through, and I think it was day three or through, and I think it was day three or through, and I think it was day three or four where it felt like an elephant four where it felt like an elephant four where it felt like an elephant stepped off my chest and I got it. I was stepped off my chest and I got it. I was stepped off my chest and I got it. I was like like like Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, wait a second. I get it now. And I'm Oh, wait a second. I get it now. And I'm Oh, wait a second. I get it now. And I'm telling you Carrie from So day days zero telling you Carrie from So day days zero telling you Carrie from So day days zero through four, this was an experiment through four, this was an experiment through four, this was an experiment about a phone. about a phone. about a phone. Days five to however long many days Days five to however long many days Days five to however long many days seven weeks are seven weeks are seven weeks are it no longer was about a phone. It was it no longer was about a phone. It was it no longer was about a phone. It was about all of the things we forgotten on about all of the things we forgotten on about all of the things we forgotten on the other side of the phone. It was the other side of the phone. It was the other side of the phone. It was about all of the beauty beauty that I about all of the beauty beauty that I about all of the beauty beauty that I was recognizing in community. It was was recognizing in community. It was was recognizing in community. It was about all the things and wonder and about all the things and wonder and about all the things and wonder and getting lost and all these incredible getting lost and all these incredible getting lost and all these incredible things that once I got over the phone, things that once I got over the phone, things that once I got over the phone, um man, it was it was literally the best um man, it was it was literally the best um man, it was it was literally the best six weeks of my life. And um but it was six weeks of my life. And um but it was six weeks of my life. And um but it was it was it was terrifying those first few it was it was terrifying those first few it was it was terrifying those first few days. And again, you know, I was going days. And again, you know, I was going days. And again, you know, I was going through the same schedule the monks were through the same schedule the monks were through the same schedule the monks were up at 5:00 a.m., praying at 6:00, at up at 5:00 a.m., praying at 6:00, at up at 5:00 a.m., praying at 6:00, at 7:30, at noon, at 4:00, at what you 7:30, at noon, at 4:00, at what you 7:30, at noon, at 4:00, at what you know, all the different times in Latin,

know, all the different times in Latin, know, all the different times in Latin, chanting, the whole thing. And breakfast chanting, the whole thing. And breakfast chanting, the whole thing. And breakfast and dinner were in silence. Lunch you and dinner were in silence. Lunch you and dinner were in silence. Lunch you could speak, but I spent about 23 hours could speak, but I spent about 23 hours could speak, but I spent about 23 hours a day in silence. And so to go from 7 a day in silence. And so to go from 7 a day in silence. And so to go from 7 and a half hours a day on your phone and a half hours a day on your phone and a half hours a day on your phone to 23 hours a day of silence with a to 23 hours a day of silence with a to 23 hours a day of silence with a bunch of monks in the high desert, bunch of monks in the high desert, bunch of monks in the high desert, you're bound to have a few episodes. you're bound to have a few episodes. you're bound to have a few episodes. So they were there. So they were there. So they were there. Where did your mind go in those first Where did your mind go in those first Where did your mind go in those first four days in the quiet? What happened to four days in the quiet? What happened to four days in the quiet? What happened to your thoughts? What happened to Because, your thoughts? What happened to Because, your thoughts? What happened to Because, you know, you're right. We're usually you know, you're right. We're usually you know, you're right. We're usually like any spare moment checking like any spare moment checking like any spare moment checking Instagram, checking the news, checking Instagram, checking the news, checking Instagram, checking the news, checking the weather, checking email, checking the weather, checking email, checking the weather, checking email, checking social, TikTok, whatever. What what social, TikTok, whatever. What what social, TikTok, whatever. What what happened like where did your mind go? happened like where did your mind go? happened like where did your mind go? What were you thinking about? What were you thinking about? What were you thinking about? It went It went It went That's great. No no one's really asked That's great. No no one's really asked That's great. No no one's really asked me that. me that. me that. It went pretty dark pretty quick. It went pretty dark pretty quick. It went pretty dark pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It it didn't go to light. It it didn't go to light. It it didn't go to light. It it's it's not like I just started It it's it's not like I just started It it's it's not like I just started reminiscing about the the days. My mind reminiscing about the the days. My mind reminiscing about the the days. My mind went dark really fast. And when I say went dark really fast. And when I say went dark really fast. And when I say dark, it was like again, like health dark, it was like again, like health dark, it was like again, like health anxiety or like oh my god, like what's anxiety or like oh my god, like what's anxiety or like oh my god, like what's wrong with me? What's happening? Why why wrong with me? What's happening? Why why wrong with me? What's happening? Why why am I why is my heart palpitating? And I am I why is my heart palpitating? And I am I why is my heart palpitating? And I couldn't find go to Google to go to couldn't find go to Google to go to couldn't find go to Google to go to WebMD to find the answer. Right? Like I WebMD to find the answer. Right? Like I WebMD to find the answer. Right? Like I couldn't figure out which terminal couldn't figure out which terminal couldn't figure out which terminal disease you have. I'm like what's the disease you have. I'm like what's the disease you have. I'm like what's the disease I have today? You know, like um Are my kids Are my kids okay? Is my wife okay? And so Hayla, I okay? Is my wife okay? And so Hayla, I okay? Is my wife okay? And so Hayla, I know she was heading on a trip down.

know she was heading on a trip down. know she was heading on a trip down. She's driving 7 hours of Florida. I knew She's driving 7 hours of Florida. I knew She's driving 7 hours of Florida. I knew that before she left. Like where is she that before she left. Like where is she that before she left. Like where is she on her on her road trip? Like I don't on her on her road trip? Like I don't on her on her road trip? Like I don't have Life360. have Life360. have Life360. I can't see how fast she's going and if I can't see how fast she's going and if I can't see how fast she's going and if if she's in an accident, how's she going if she's in an accident, how's she going if she's in an accident, how's she going to all of those these small pieces of to all of those these small pieces of to all of those these small pieces of control that I thought well they were control that I thought well they were control that I thought well they were actually like actually like actually like controls really a figment of our controls really a figment of our controls really a figment of our imagination. Like I thought that they imagination. Like I thought that they imagination. Like I thought that they were giving me control. They were were giving me control. They were were giving me control. They were suddenly just gone. And so it just was suddenly just gone. And so it just was suddenly just gone. And so it just was worry. It was like an overwhelming sense worry. It was like an overwhelming sense worry. It was like an overwhelming sense of worry about everything. Worry about of worry about everything. Worry about of worry about everything. Worry about like oh my gosh, like all my followers like oh my gosh, like all my followers like oh my gosh, like all my followers on Instagram and social media, are they on Instagram and social media, are they on Instagram and social media, are they just I'm leaving for 7 weeks? Are they just I'm leaving for 7 weeks? Are they just I'm leaving for 7 weeks? Are they are they going to be there when I get are they going to be there when I get are they going to be there when I get back? back? back? What if you get canceled while you're What if you get canceled while you're What if you get canceled while you're gone? gone? gone? yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I going to get or yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I going to get or yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I going to get or someone going to find something about me someone going to find something about me someone going to find something about me and then put it on Twitter? Next thing and then put it on Twitter? Next thing and then put it on Twitter? Next thing you know, I'm canceled. Like like all of you know, I'm canceled. Like like all of you know, I'm canceled. Like like all of it was out of my hands. It was out of my it was out of my hands. It was out of my it was out of my hands. It was out of my control and Carrie, we control and Carrie, we control and Carrie, we And you know, again, I'm talking to And you know, again, I'm talking to And you know, again, I'm talking to leaders here now. Like like we love to leaders here now. Like like we love to leaders here now. Like like we love to feel like we're in control. It it just feel like we're in control. It it just feel like we're in control. It it just we're addicted to control. And when I we're addicted to control. And when I we're addicted to control. And when I lost it, it was really disorienting for lost it, it was really disorienting for lost it, it was really disorienting for a few days. But then oh my gosh.

a few days. But then oh my gosh. a few days. But then oh my gosh. That freedom from control That freedom from control That freedom from control just opened me up. It's like I could just opened me up. It's like I could just opened me up. It's like I could it it's like it it's like it it's like day four day four day four I was asthmatic and didn't know and I I was asthmatic and didn't know and I I was asthmatic and didn't know and I got to hit of an inhaler and I took a got to hit of an inhaler and I took a got to hit of an inhaler and I took a deep breath and I was like deep breath and I was like deep breath and I was like Oh, thank god. Like this is what I'm Oh, thank god. Like this is what I'm Oh, thank god. Like this is what I'm supposed to be. I could breathe. You supposed to be. I could breathe. You supposed to be. I could breathe. You know. know. know. So before you get to day four, I got one So before you get to day four, I got one So before you get to day four, I got one or two other questions, Carlos, cuz or two other questions, Carlos, cuz or two other questions, Carlos, cuz we've known each other for a while and we've known each other for a while and we've known each other for a while and spent some time together. spent some time together. spent some time together. You don't strike me as a control freak. You don't strike me as a control freak. You don't strike me as a control freak. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Um would you say or the people around Um would you say or the people around Um would you say or the people around you you you say that you're a control freak or is it say that you're a control freak or is it say that you're a control freak or is it more just the always-on switch that most more just the always-on switch that most more just the always-on switch that most of us have of us have of us have by default moved to over the last 10 or by default moved to over the last 10 or by default moved to over the last 10 or 15 years? 15 years? 15 years? A thousand percent, it's the second A thousand percent, it's the second A thousand percent, it's the second thing you said. thing you said. thing you said. Yeah. Cuz you're not like large and in Yeah. Cuz you're not like large and in Yeah. Cuz you're not like large and in charge. Like you you are as close to a charge. Like you you are as close to a charge. Like you you are as close to a free spirit free spirit free spirit Yes. Yes. Yes. as I see in people. I think you've had as I see in people. I think you've had as I see in people. I think you've had 72 careers since I met you 72 careers since I met you 72 careers since I met you 15 years ago. Like you're always pivot I 15 years ago. Like you're always pivot I 15 years ago. Like you're always pivot I said that to you. Like you're always said that to you. Like you're always said that to you. Like you're always pivoting. It's always like, well, you pivoting. It's always like, well, you pivoting. It's always like, well, you know, I'm going to do the Fit by 40 and know, I'm going to do the Fit by 40 and know, I'm going to do the Fit by 40 and then I'm going to be a worship leader.

then I'm going to be a worship leader. then I'm going to be a worship leader. Oh, I'm going to speak to business Oh, I'm going to speak to business Oh, I'm going to speak to business leader. I'm doing this. Oh, I'm doing leader. I'm doing this. Oh, I'm doing leader. I'm doing this. Oh, I'm doing that. I'm launching a podcast. I'm that. I'm launching a podcast. I'm that. I'm launching a podcast. I'm changing this. Like changing this. Like changing this. Like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you're a free spirit, man. Like you you're a free spirit, man. Like you you're a free spirit, man. Like you really are. So So if you can, just a really are. So So if you can, just a really are. So So if you can, just a little bit more on that addiction to little bit more on that addiction to little bit more on that addiction to knowledge because knowledge is power. knowledge because knowledge is power. knowledge because knowledge is power. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Power is control. Power is control. Power is control. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, if you want to go right And, you know, if you want to go right And, you know, if you want to go right get theological right back to the get theological right back to the get theological right back to the garden, garden, garden, knowledge the tree of the knowledge of knowledge the tree of the knowledge of knowledge the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, right? All of that. It's good and evil, right? All of that. It's good and evil, right? All of that. It's very addictive. very addictive. very addictive. It it's very addictive and, you know, It it's very addictive and, you know, It it's very addictive and, you know, Carrie, I am you're right. I'm probably Carrie, I am you're right. I'm probably Carrie, I am you're right. I'm probably one of the more more free-spirited one of the more more free-spirited one of the more more free-spirited friends that you have. Totally. You friends that you have. Totally. You friends that you have. Totally. You know, like I don't you know, I'll land know, like I don't you know, I'll land know, like I don't you know, I'll land in in London not not even know where I'm in in London not not even know where I'm in in London not not even know where I'm staying that night and I'm like, staying that night and I'm like, staying that night and I'm like, you know, like like like where am I you know, like like like where am I you know, like like like where am I going to go? Oh, let me Airbnb. Oh, going to go? Oh, let me Airbnb. Oh, going to go? Oh, let me Airbnb. Oh, there's two available. I'm I'll hop to there's two available. I'm I'll hop to there's two available. I'm I'll hop to this one. It looks cleaner. You know, this one. It looks cleaner. You know, this one. It looks cleaner. You know, like I just you're right. I'm And so like I just you're right. I'm And so like I just you're right. I'm And so like if a guy like me like if a guy like me like if a guy like me Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. is that overwhelmed with the lack of is that overwhelmed with the lack of is that overwhelmed with the lack of control that a screen gives me, control that a screen gives me, control that a screen gives me, I can only fathom what a lot why a lot I can only fathom what a lot why a lot I can only fathom what a lot why a lot of people would never even want to do of people would never even want to do of people would never even want to do something like this.

something like this. something like this. Um and the the control also is a control Um and the the control also is a control Um and the the control also is a control that we we don't even It's like we that we we don't even It's like we that we we don't even It's like we didn't even ask for it. didn't even ask for it. didn't even ask for it. The phones showed up. The phones showed up. The phones showed up. So good. So good. So good. The phones showed up and like suddenly The phones showed up and like suddenly The phones showed up and like suddenly we're we're just given um all of this we're we're just given um all of this we're we're just given um all of this opportunity to know things that we were opportunity to know things that we were opportunity to know things that we were never supposed to know, ever. My my mom never supposed to know, ever. My my mom never supposed to know, ever. My my mom is like, you know, when when she saw is like, you know, when when she saw is like, you know, when when she saw Life360 with my kids, she's like, Life360 with my kids, she's like, Life360 with my kids, she's like, Carlos, like Carlos, like Carlos, like like, if I had Life360 like, if I had Life360 like, if I had Life360 and I could track every movement you and I could track every movement you and I could track every movement you made, do you know how stressed and made, do you know how stressed and made, do you know how stressed and anxious that would have made me as a anxious that would have made me as a anxious that would have made me as a mom? But instead mom? But instead mom? But instead in the '80s or in the '90s when you were in the '80s or in the '90s when you were in the '80s or in the '90s when you were in high school, you had to like I was in high school, you had to like I was in high school, you had to like I was like, be home by 9:00. I just wouldn't like, be home by 9:00. I just wouldn't like, be home by 9:00. I just wouldn't worry until 9:30. worry until 9:30. worry until 9:30. And you now, though, have an opportunity And you now, though, have an opportunity And you now, though, have an opportunity to know every second of every day where to know every second of every day where to know every second of every day where your kids are. So, you have control, but your kids are. So, you have control, but your kids are. So, you have control, but is it really control? And is that is it really control? And is that is it really control? And is that control actually adding to the anxiety control actually adding to the anxiety control actually adding to the anxiety in your life? in your life? in your life? Or or knowledge knowledge without power. Or or knowledge knowledge without power. Or or knowledge knowledge without power. Sorry, sorry. No, no, then that's what Sorry, sorry. No, no, then that's what Sorry, sorry. No, no, then that's what it is. It's it's knowledge without it is. It's it's knowledge without it is. It's it's knowledge without power. It's more knowledge than we were power. It's more knowledge than we were power. It's more knowledge than we were created to have. I say this all the created to have. I say this all the created to have. I say this all the time. I don't believe that our souls and time. I don't believe that our souls and time. I don't believe that our souls and our psyche were created with the our psyche were created with the our psyche were created with the capacity to consume the amount of capacity to consume the amount of capacity to consume the amount of information and digest the amount of information and digest the amount of information and digest the amount of knowledge that we that we get to know knowledge that we that we get to know knowledge that we that we get to know now. Like, we just weren't created for now. Like, we just weren't created for now. Like, we just weren't created for that. And suddenly, when I'm when I'm that. And suddenly, when I'm when I'm that. And suddenly, when I'm when I'm just at the monastery without my phone, just at the monastery without my phone, just at the monastery without my phone, guess what? The only thing I know guess what? The only thing I know guess what? The only thing I know the only thing I'm able to know the only thing I'm able to know the only thing I'm able to know is what is happening in the 200 yards is what is happening in the 200 yards is what is happening in the 200 yards that that is is around me. I can I can that that is is around me. I can I can that that is is around me. I can I can walk to the cafeteria and I guess what?

walk to the cafeteria and I guess what? walk to the cafeteria and I guess what? I'm going to know what we're having for I'm going to know what we're having for I'm going to know what we're having for lunch. lunch. lunch. But I didn't even care I didn't even But I didn't even care I didn't even But I didn't even care I didn't even know how hot it was. I'd walk outside know how hot it was. I'd walk outside know how hot it was. I'd walk outside and I was like, man, it is hot. I'd and I was like, man, it is hot. I'd and I was like, man, it is hot. I'd reach in my phone, oh, guess what? I reach in my phone, oh, guess what? I reach in my phone, oh, guess what? I guess I just know it's hot. guess I just know it's hot. guess I just know it's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. I don't know it's 97. I don't know what I don't know it's 97. I don't know what I don't know it's 97. I don't know what the heat index is. the heat index is. the heat index is. index today, you know, like index today, you know, like index today, you know, like And so suddenly, when I started to know And so suddenly, when I started to know And so suddenly, when I started to know less and less and less, man, I would be less and less and less, man, I would be less and less and less, man, I would be was able to breathe more and more and was able to breathe more and more and was able to breathe more and more and more. So, maybe all this knowledge is more. So, maybe all this knowledge is more. So, maybe all this knowledge is also adding to our stress, adding to our also adding to our stress, adding to our also adding to our stress, adding to our burnout, adding to our anxiety. Um maybe burnout, adding to our anxiety. Um maybe burnout, adding to our anxiety. Um maybe we weren't supposed to know everything we weren't supposed to know everything we weren't supposed to know everything we know. we know. we know. Oh, gosh. You know, there's a book in Oh, gosh. You know, there's a book in Oh, gosh. You know, there's a book in that. Maybe it's been written, I don't that. Maybe it's been written, I don't that. Maybe it's been written, I don't know, but like we have the knowledge of know, but like we have the knowledge of know, but like we have the knowledge of not the knowledge of God, we're not not the knowledge of God, we're not not the knowledge of God, we're not omniscient, but you think about what we omniscient, but you think about what we omniscient, but you think about what we know compared to our grandparents, it's know compared to our grandparents, it's know compared to our grandparents, it's it's insane. it's insane. it's insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. we don't have the wisdom to go with it. we don't have the wisdom to go with it. we don't have the wisdom to go with it. We don't know what to do with it. So you We don't know what to do with it. So you We don't know what to do with it. So you get this knowledge, right? Do you really get this knowledge, right? Do you really get this knowledge, right? Do you really want to know? Do you really want to want to know? Do you really want to want to know? Do you really want to know? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, know? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, know? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, but we don't have the wisdom to know but we don't have the wisdom to know but we don't have the wisdom to know what to do with it. I think there's a what to do with it. I think there's a what to do with it. I think there's a book in that, but anyway, Okay, your book in that, but anyway, Okay, your book in that, but anyway, Okay, your book went somewhere else. So book went somewhere else. So book went somewhere else. So It did. It did. It did. It did. It did. It did. Yeah, day four, you have a 200-yd radius Yeah, day four, you have a 200-yd radius Yeah, day four, you have a 200-yd radius around you.

around you. around you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you start to, you know, I love the And you start to, you know, I love the And you start to, you know, I love the analogy. I have asthma, so you take that analogy. I have asthma, so you take that analogy. I have asthma, so you take that puff and you're like puff and you're like puff and you're like I can breathe. I can breathe. I can breathe. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. And so, what happened? Deceleration of And so, what happened? Deceleration of And so, what happened? Deceleration of your heart rate, chill comes over, or or your heart rate, chill comes over, or or your heart rate, chill comes over, or or what? what? what? Yes. I had um Yes. I had um Yes. I had um So, So, So, it may have been the morning of day it may have been the morning of day it may have been the morning of day four. This isn't in the book. Um but four. This isn't in the book. Um but four. This isn't in the book. Um but maybe the afternoon of day three. I So, maybe the afternoon of day three. I So, maybe the afternoon of day three. I So, I had actually taken a a Bluetooth I had actually taken a a Bluetooth I had actually taken a a Bluetooth speaker with me. speaker with me. speaker with me. Um and and I actually bought They still Um and and I actually bought They still Um and and I actually bought They still They still sell these things. I bought a They still sell these things. I bought a They still sell these things. I bought a MP3 player that off of Amazon that I had MP3 player that off of Amazon that I had MP3 player that off of Amazon that I had to legitimately download music onto. to legitimately download music onto. to legitimately download music onto. Okay, so I downloaded like 30 songs, Okay, so I downloaded like 30 songs, Okay, so I downloaded like 30 songs, that's all it would hold. And it was that's all it would hold. And it was that's all it would hold. And it was like all the worship songs from my like all the worship songs from my like all the worship songs from my church. And then I I could attach it to church. And then I I could attach it to church. And then I I could attach it to my Bluetooth speaker, so even without a my Bluetooth speaker, so even without a my Bluetooth speaker, so even without a screen, I was able to listen to music, screen, I was able to listen to music, screen, I was able to listen to music, right? I wasn't trying to go insane on right? I wasn't trying to go insane on right? I wasn't trying to go insane on this experiment. So, I I was so this experiment. So, I I was so this experiment. So, I I was so I just remember like having a breakdown, I just remember like having a breakdown, I just remember like having a breakdown, putting on this worship song, and um and putting on this worship song, and um and putting on this worship song, and um and just weeping in my room, just bawling in just weeping in my room, just bawling in just weeping in my room, just bawling in my room, and I missed my church. I my room, and I missed my church. I my room, and I missed my church. I missed my friends. I missed all these missed my friends. I missed all these missed my friends. I missed all these people. Um and then so like the bells people. Um and then so like the bells people. Um and then so like the bells start ringing. I'm having this nervous start ringing. I'm having this nervous start ringing. I'm having this nervous breakdown. And so the bells ring right breakdown. And so the bells ring right breakdown. And so the bells ring right before prayer, 5 minutes before before before prayer, 5 minutes before before before prayer, 5 minutes before before prayer, six times a day.

prayer, six times a day. prayer, six times a day. I head down to the chapel. I head down to the chapel. I head down to the chapel. And that was the first time when I I I And that was the first time when I I I And that was the first time when I I I walked down to the chapel and I was walked down to the chapel and I was walked down to the chapel and I was sitting in the chapel, and the monks, sitting in the chapel, and the monks, sitting in the chapel, and the monks, they march in every single time. they march in every single time. they march in every single time. The robes are swaying back and forth. The robes are swaying back and forth. The robes are swaying back and forth. Um and we start singing We We were This Um and we start singing We We were This Um and we start singing We We were This may have been the evening because the may have been the evening because the may have been the evening because the songs were evening Yeah, it was evening songs were evening Yeah, it was evening songs were evening Yeah, it was evening vespers. vespers. vespers. And they were preparing our And they were preparing our And they were preparing our So they So they So they the songs that we would sing, the Psalms the songs that we would sing, the Psalms the songs that we would sing, the Psalms that we would chant that we would chant that we would chant were always Psalms of what's about to were always Psalms of what's about to were always Psalms of what's about to happen next in the day. And so these happen next in the day. And so these happen next in the day. And so these were preparing our hearts for the were preparing our hearts for the were preparing our hearts for the evening. So Lord, still us, help us fall evening. So Lord, still us, help us fall evening. So Lord, still us, help us fall asleep, like all of these things. And I asleep, like all of these things. And I asleep, like all of these things. And I just started It's like in that in that just started It's like in that in that just started It's like in that in that chapel chapel chapel I could breathe again. It's like It's I could breathe again. It's like It's I could breathe again. It's like It's like It's like I started to get it. Like like It's like I started to get it. Like like It's like I started to get it. Like why they did this every day. Why they why they did this every day. Why they why they did this every day. Why they did it. And so like I'm looking at these did it. And so like I'm looking at these did it. And so like I'm looking at these monks and I'm just thinking these these monks and I'm just thinking these these monks and I'm just thinking these these dudes, 20 of them dudes, 20 of them dudes, 20 of them do this six times a day do this six times a day do this six times a day seven days a week from now until the day seven days a week from now until the day seven days a week from now until the day they die. This is the rhythm. And I they die. This is the rhythm. And I they die. This is the rhythm. And I think it took me four days of stumbling think it took me four days of stumbling think it took me four days of stumbling through the rhythm to finally start through the rhythm to finally start through the rhythm to finally start getting into their rhythm. And that was getting into their rhythm. And that was getting into their rhythm. And that was the first prayer service that I like the first prayer service that I like the first prayer service that I like enjoyed. Where again, even though we're enjoyed. Where again, even though we're enjoyed. Where again, even though we're speak we're singing in Latin, I can see speak we're singing in Latin, I can see speak we're singing in Latin, I can see the the words in English. And I left the the words in English. And I left the the words in English. And I left there and I hiked up to the top of the there and I hiked up to the top of the there and I hiked up to the top of the cemetery hill behind my cabin, watched cemetery hill behind my cabin, watched cemetery hill behind my cabin, watched the sunset the sunset the sunset and the stillness and the slowness and the stillness and the slowness and the stillness and the slowness suddenly felt like a gift as opposed to suddenly felt like a gift as opposed to suddenly felt like a gift as opposed to something I needed to fear.

something I needed to fear. something I needed to fear. Um and so I started, you know, I think Um and so I started, you know, I think Um and so I started, you know, I think maybe the third chapter in the book's maybe the third chapter in the book's maybe the third chapter in the book's called Godspeed. I started to look at called Godspeed. I started to look at called Godspeed. I started to look at the monks and start to walk at Godspeed. the monks and start to walk at Godspeed. the monks and start to walk at Godspeed. I started to to enjoy the the pace of I started to to enjoy the the pace of I started to to enjoy the the pace of life. I started to realize I'm just life. I started to realize I'm just life. I started to realize I'm just moving. What in my life besides my two moving. What in my life besides my two moving. What in my life besides my two legs move at 3 miles an hour? That's how legs move at 3 miles an hour? That's how legs move at 3 miles an hour? That's how fast we walk. And so I'm looking at the fast we walk. And so I'm looking at the fast we walk. And so I'm looking at the monks and now I think when I got over monks and now I think when I got over monks and now I think when I got over the the fear and when I was able to the the fear and when I was able to the the fear and when I was able to finally breathe again that's when all of finally breathe again that's when all of finally breathe again that's when all of the lessons began to come. That's when I the lessons began to come. That's when I the lessons began to come. That's when I was like, "Oh my gosh, we We're so was like, "Oh my gosh, we We're so was like, "Oh my gosh, we We're so scared of solitude. Like solitude is is, scared of solitude. Like solitude is is, scared of solitude. Like solitude is is, you know, something that that is almost you know, something that that is almost you know, something that that is almost to be feared." And we're the first to be feared." And we're the first to be feared." And we're the first generation to actually have the generation to actually have the generation to actually have the opportunity to lose all access to opportunity to lose all access to opportunity to lose all access to solitude. Whereas, you know, just, you solitude. Whereas, you know, just, you solitude. Whereas, you know, just, you know, I don't know how many years ago, know, I don't know how many years ago, know, I don't know how many years ago, let's say 70 years ago, I don't know let's say 70 years ago, I don't know let's say 70 years ago, I don't know when they actually first put the first when they actually first put the first when they actually first put the first radio in cars, but like I feel like that radio in cars, but like I feel like that radio in cars, but like I feel like that was the moment that solitude was gone. was the moment that solitude was gone. was the moment that solitude was gone. So, like we used to have to when you go So, like we used to have to when you go So, like we used to have to when you go from point A to point B, it just was from point A to point B, it just was from point A to point B, it just was quiet. And you were just kind of in your quiet. And you were just kind of in your quiet. And you were just kind of in your mind or you're talking to somebody, but mind or you're talking to somebody, but mind or you're talking to somebody, but then as soon as we started being able to then as soon as we started being able to then as soon as we started being able to like consume songs or whatever, solitude like consume songs or whatever, solitude like consume songs or whatever, solitude went away and so I look at this now and went away and so I look at this now and went away and so I look at this now and now we we just are plugged in all the now we we just are plugged in all the now we we just are plugged in all the time. Solitude became something that I time. Solitude became something that I time. Solitude became something that I looked forward to every day and it's so looked forward to every day and it's so looked forward to every day and it's so funny that the longer I was at the funny that the longer I was at the funny that the longer I was at the monastery, the more I dreaded leaving monastery, the more I dreaded leaving monastery, the more I dreaded leaving because I just felt like I was finally because I just felt like I was finally because I just felt like I was finally living the way we were probably designed

living the way we were probably designed living the way we were probably designed to live. Um, not that again, not that to live. Um, not that again, not that to live. Um, not that again, not that technology is bad. I'm back on my phone. technology is bad. I'm back on my phone. technology is bad. I'm back on my phone. I think all these things are great, but I think all these things are great, but I think all these things are great, but man, bro, I was tasting the good stuff. man, bro, I was tasting the good stuff. man, bro, I was tasting the good stuff. I was I was tasting I was I was tasting I was I was tasting um, I think how how humans have lived um, I think how how humans have lived um, I think how how humans have lived from the dawn of humanity up until, you from the dawn of humanity up until, you from the dawn of humanity up until, you know, I don't know what, 1983? I don't know, I don't know what, 1983? I don't know, I don't know what, 1983? I don't know when it was. know when it was. know when it was. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. You know, you're right. I think maybe You know, you're right. I think maybe You know, you're right. I think maybe they came in in the 50s. they came in in the 50s. they came in in the 50s. Yeah. I I would love to know more about Yeah. I I would love to know more about Yeah. I I would love to know more about solitude. It's something I think about a solitude. It's something I think about a solitude. It's something I think about a lot, something I cultivate. Every year I lot, something I cultivate. Every year I lot, something I cultivate. Every year I get older, I put a little more solitude get older, I put a little more solitude get older, I put a little more solitude in. in. in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and I'm I'm increasingly And and I'm I'm increasingly And and I'm I'm increasingly more comfortable more comfortable more comfortable in the stillness and with pauses and in the stillness and with pauses and in the stillness and with pauses and with silence. That's in conversation, with silence. That's in conversation, with silence. That's in conversation, but also just being alone. I have a but also just being alone. I have a but also just being alone. I have a personal retreat day on Thursday. personal retreat day on Thursday. personal retreat day on Thursday. It'll be a lot of silence, a lot of It'll be a lot of silence, a lot of It'll be a lot of silence, a lot of solitude, just thinking, reflecting. solitude, just thinking, reflecting. solitude, just thinking, reflecting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Praying. Um, what did you learn? Uh, cuz Praying. Um, what did you learn? Uh, cuz Praying. Um, what did you learn? Uh, cuz solitude for me, and and one of the solitude for me, and and one of the solitude for me, and and one of the reasons I'm asking the question, when I reasons I'm asking the question, when I reasons I'm asking the question, when I first started getting acquainted with first started getting acquainted with first started getting acquainted with solitude in my 30s, it was deeply solitude in my 30s, it was deeply solitude in my 30s, it was deeply uncomfortable.

uncomfortable. uncomfortable. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. It's it's like I almost couldn't sit It's it's like I almost couldn't sit It's it's like I almost couldn't sit still. I couldn't quiet my mind. still. I couldn't quiet my mind. still. I couldn't quiet my mind. What was your experience of solitude, What was your experience of solitude, What was your experience of solitude, Carlos? Carlos? Carlos? It was um for someone like me, um I'm It was um for someone like me, um I'm It was um for someone like me, um I'm actually pulling up this article. I I actually pulling up this article. I I actually pulling up this article. I I think I've got it right here. think I've got it right here. think I've got it right here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For someone like me, For someone like me, For someone like me, solitude solitude solitude it was hard at the beginning because it was hard at the beginning because it was hard at the beginning because although like I would say that I'm an although like I would say that I'm an although like I would say that I'm an introvert. Like I would say that to introvert. Like I would say that to introvert. Like I would say that to people because I've said it my whole people because I've said it my whole people because I've said it my whole life. Um not my whole life, maybe the life. Um not my whole life, maybe the life. Um not my whole life, maybe the last 10 years. I'm like, "Yeah, I just last 10 years. I'm like, "Yeah, I just last 10 years. I'm like, "Yeah, I just being around people just exhaust me." being around people just exhaust me." being around people just exhaust me." But what I found was when I was at the But what I found was when I was at the But what I found was when I was at the monastery, monastery, monastery, being around people um energized me. being around people um energized me. being around people um energized me. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. And um and then the solitude that I was And um and then the solitude that I was And um and then the solitude that I was that I was having, that I was having, that I was having, that was like actual solitude. Well, I that was like actual solitude. Well, I that was like actual solitude. Well, I like so we're actually not alone anymore like so we're actually not alone anymore like so we're actually not alone anymore cuz cuz we've got these devices cuz cuz we've got these devices cuz cuz we've got these devices Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. in our hands. And so we trick ourselves in our hands. And so we trick ourselves in our hands. And so we trick ourselves into believing that if we're not around into believing that if we're not around into believing that if we're not around humans in like humans in like humans in like a circumference around our physical body a circumference around our physical body a circumference around our physical body that that we're alone, even though we're that that we're alone, even though we're that that we're alone, even though we're scrolling thousands of people's lives, scrolling thousands of people's lives, scrolling thousands of people's lives, you know, in our hands. And so we're you know, in our hands. And so we're you know, in our hands. And so we're actually not even ever alone anymore.

actually not even ever alone anymore. actually not even ever alone anymore. And that's what I realized when I was And that's what I realized when I was And that's what I realized when I was there was that it was the first time I'd there was that it was the first time I'd there was that it was the first time I'd actually truly been alone. You know, I actually truly been alone. You know, I actually truly been alone. You know, I would say things like, "I love to travel would say things like, "I love to travel would say things like, "I love to travel alone." Um well, the truth is I'm not alone." Um well, the truth is I'm not alone." Um well, the truth is I'm not traveling alone. I I've got 300,000 traveling alone. I I've got 300,000 traveling alone. I I've got 300,000 people that are talking to me on my people that are talking to me on my people that are talking to me on my phone all the time. So of course I like phone all the time. So of course I like phone all the time. So of course I like traveling alone because I don't have to traveling alone because I don't have to traveling alone because I don't have to talk to a real human. I can just type talk to a real human. I can just type talk to a real human. I can just type back and forth and hit my you know, you back and forth and hit my you know, you back and forth and hit my you know, you know, get get some some fixes from know, get get some some fixes from know, get get some some fixes from people saying sweet things about me and people saying sweet things about me and people saying sweet things about me and my on my comments and stuff. That that's my on my comments and stuff. That that's my on my comments and stuff. That that's not true solitude. not true solitude. not true solitude. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. So it actually took me a few days after So it actually took me a few days after So it actually took me a few days after my initial panic, um it took me a few my initial panic, um it took me a few my initial panic, um it took me a few days to start to enjoy the solitude. And days to start to enjoy the solitude. And days to start to enjoy the solitude. And so then, so then, so then, cuz again, 23 hours a day of silence, cuz again, 23 hours a day of silence, cuz again, 23 hours a day of silence, right? Like it like that's that's a lot right? Like it like that's that's a lot right? Like it like that's that's a lot of of solitude, right? That's a lot. And of of solitude, right? That's a lot. And of of solitude, right? That's a lot. And so um I would enjoy my lunches with so um I would enjoy my lunches with so um I would enjoy my lunches with different retreatants or the monks that different retreatants or the monks that different retreatants or the monks that I would sit with cuz I get to talk and I would sit with cuz I get to talk and I would sit with cuz I get to talk and bro, I would you should have heard me bro, I would you should have heard me bro, I would you should have heard me talk during lunches. Like I was like, talk during lunches. Like I was like, talk during lunches. Like I was like, you know, just like you know, just like you know, just like nonstop. But knowing that was really the nonstop. But knowing that was really the nonstop. But knowing that was really the only time I was going to get to talk, only time I was going to get to talk, only time I was going to get to talk, man, I just man, I just man, I just the voice of God started to boom the voice of God started to boom the voice of God started to boom in my life. Like like questions uh in my life. Like like questions uh in my life. Like like questions uh to God became louder, you know?

to God became louder, you know? to God became louder, you know? Initially, the solitude was a little Initially, the solitude was a little Initially, the solitude was a little disorienting because, you know, I was disorienting because, you know, I was disorienting because, you know, I was suddenly able to think suddenly able to think suddenly able to think about all of these things about God. about all of these things about God. about all of these things about God. I'd I'd walk to the bookstore I'd I'd walk to the bookstore I'd I'd walk to the bookstore like in the morning, it opened at 10:00. like in the morning, it opened at 10:00. like in the morning, it opened at 10:00. I'd go in, I'd peruse. I'd pick up a I'd go in, I'd peruse. I'd pick up a I'd go in, I'd peruse. I'd pick up a pick up a book, I'd sit and read. pick up a book, I'd sit and read. pick up a book, I'd sit and read. Um Um Um and then I would I would just think and then I would I would just think and then I would I would just think about it. And I'd journal, and I'd walk about it. And I'd journal, and I'd walk about it. And I'd journal, and I'd walk up to the cemetery, and I just had all up to the cemetery, and I just had all up to the cemetery, and I just had all this time to think. And it was a little this time to think. And it was a little this time to think. And it was a little disorienting at the beginning. Um you disorienting at the beginning. Um you disorienting at the beginning. Um you know, there's a couple of chapters in know, there's a couple of chapters in know, there's a couple of chapters in there where I go into it was actually so there where I go into it was actually so there where I go into it was actually so disorienting initially, disorienting initially, disorienting initially, um I wasn't scared of the solitude, but um I wasn't scared of the solitude, but um I wasn't scared of the solitude, but the questions it was bringing up about the questions it was bringing up about the questions it was bringing up about God that I wasn't able to solve by God that I wasn't able to solve by God that I wasn't able to solve by listening to a Carey Nieuwhof podcast or listening to a Carey Nieuwhof podcast or listening to a Carey Nieuwhof podcast or listening to Craig Groeschel or some listening to Craig Groeschel or some listening to Craig Groeschel or some other great spiritual giant that I look other great spiritual giant that I look other great spiritual giant that I look up to. Like, no, I just had to figure it up to. Like, no, I just had to figure it up to. Like, no, I just had to figure it out. The Lord was just going to have to out. The Lord was just going to have to out. The Lord was just going to have to talk to me. talk to me. talk to me. So, were they like deconstructionist So, were they like deconstructionist So, were they like deconstructionist type questions? type questions? type questions? Yeah. Yeah, solitude brought some things Yeah. Yeah, solitude brought some things Yeah. Yeah, solitude brought some things like, "What like, "What like, "What I mean, simple deconstruction questions I mean, simple deconstruction questions I mean, simple deconstruction questions like, how could like like, how could like like, how could like how could this good God let all this bad how could this good God let all this bad how could this good God let all this bad stuff happen?" Right? Like like things stuff happen?" Right? Like like things stuff happen?" Right? Like like things that like I've heard that like I've heard that like I've heard Levi and Louie, you know, you know, give Levi and Louie, you know, you know, give Levi and Louie, you know, you know, give great messages up for an hour on these great messages up for an hour on these great messages up for an hour on these things. And oh, that made me feel better things. And oh, that made me feel better things. And oh, that made me feel better for a second. But when I don't have for a second. But when I don't have for a second. But when I don't have those messages, and I those messages, and I those messages, and I just have to sit in the just have to sit in the just have to sit in the uncomfortableness of why does a good God uncomfortableness of why does a good God uncomfortableness of why does a good God let bad things happen? Um it's just let bad things happen? Um it's just let bad things happen? Um it's just started messing with my head. And so, um started messing with my head. And so, um started messing with my head. And so, um yeah, there was probably 2 days in there yeah, there was probably 2 days in there yeah, there was probably 2 days in there that I think I completely took my faith that I think I completely took my faith that I think I completely took my faith apart. Um and needed Abbot Francis to

apart. Um and needed Abbot Francis to apart. Um and needed Abbot Francis to help me put it back together again. help me put it back together again. help me put it back together again. But solitude brought that. I think But solitude brought that. I think But solitude brought that. I think solitude raises the volume of God in solitude raises the volume of God in solitude raises the volume of God in your life. It just absolutely does. When your life. It just absolutely does. When your life. It just absolutely does. When you lower the volume of life, the volume you lower the volume of life, the volume you lower the volume of life, the volume of God goes up. When you lower the of God goes up. When you lower the of God goes up. When you lower the volume of life, the volume of God goes volume of life, the volume of God goes volume of life, the volume of God goes up, whether you want it to or not. It up, whether you want it to or not. It up, whether you want it to or not. It just happens. And so the volume of God just happens. And so the volume of God just happens. And so the volume of God is going to go up and you're going to is going to go up and you're going to is going to go up and you're going to have to start asking some questions that have to start asking some questions that have to start asking some questions that you probably haven't been asking because you probably haven't been asking because you probably haven't been asking because you've just had a constant stream of you've just had a constant stream of you've just had a constant stream of noise, even if it's great noise, noise, even if it's great noise, noise, even if it's great noise, sermons, podcasts, all these things in sermons, podcasts, all these things in sermons, podcasts, all these things in your ears. Suddenly when all that's your ears. Suddenly when all that's your ears. Suddenly when all that's gone, it's just you and God. And so gone, it's just you and God. And so gone, it's just you and God. And so solitude brought a lot of that for me. solitude brought a lot of that for me. solitude brought a lot of that for me. In your 7 weeks, identity also became an In your 7 weeks, identity also became an In your 7 weeks, identity also became an issue. You, you know, you love your issue. You, you know, you love your issue. You, you know, you love your familia as you say, and you're not familia as you say, and you're not familia as you say, and you're not you're not on your email list, you're you're not on your email list, you're you're not on your email list, you're not following your Instagram, TikTok not following your Instagram, TikTok not following your Instagram, TikTok followers, you're not getting DM'd. followers, you're not getting DM'd. followers, you're not getting DM'd. And and you're not even, you know, And and you're not even, you know, And and you're not even, you know, Carlos Whittaker, you're just Carlos Whittaker, you're just Carlos Whittaker, you're just another guest at an obscure monastery another guest at an obscure monastery another guest at an obscure monastery nobody's ever heard of. What happened to nobody's ever heard of. What happened to nobody's ever heard of. What happened to your identity, your identity, your identity, your sense of identity in that silence?

your sense of identity in that silence? your sense of identity in that silence? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um Um Um At the monastery in particular, um At the monastery in particular, um At the monastery in particular, um because it was so silent, because it was so silent, because it was so silent, um um um my and because literally nobody not only my and because literally nobody not only my and because literally nobody not only knew who I was but could care less about knew who I was but could care less about knew who I was but could care less about Not only do they not know, they don't Not only do they not know, they don't Not only do they not know, they don't care. care. care. They don't care. I they they just, you They don't care. I they they just, you They don't care. I they they just, you know, they they just don't care. Um know, they they just don't care. Um know, they they just don't care. Um They care they They care they They care they This is this is what shifted. This is this is what shifted. This is this is what shifted. My identity um My identity um My identity um was was was I got there and as much as much great I got there and as much as much great I got there and as much as much great work as I've done in therapy and inner work as I've done in therapy and inner work as I've done in therapy and inner healing I've done You have talked to you healing I've done You have talked to you healing I've done You have talked to you about all this stuff, right? Like I've about all this stuff, right? Like I've about all this stuff, right? Like I've done a lot of great work in my life. done a lot of great work in my life. done a lot of great work in my life. We're just we're never there. We're just we're never there. We're just we're never there. And so I get there, right? I get there And so I get there, right? I get there And so I get there, right? I get there and and and you know, suddenly I don't have my you know, suddenly I don't have my you know, suddenly I don't have my followers anymore. I don't have, you followers anymore. I don't have, you followers anymore. I don't have, you know, know, know, I don't have these people that quote I don't have these people that quote I don't have these people that quote unquote care about me unquote care about me unquote care about me um, to tell me that every day. And um, to tell me that every day. And um, to tell me that every day. And suddenly, I had to make friends with suddenly, I had to make friends with suddenly, I had to make friends with monks. monks. monks. In order In order for myself to have In order In order for myself to have In order In order for myself to have community and in order to be cared for.

community and in order to be cared for. community and in order to be cared for. I could have I could have stayed away I could have I could have stayed away I could have I could have stayed away from the monks. I could have stayed away from the monks. I could have stayed away from the monks. I could have stayed away from the retreatants and not discovered from the retreatants and not discovered from the retreatants and not discovered that when I when I step out, um, and and that when I when I step out, um, and and that when I when I step out, um, and and make a friend with Father Carlos or make a friend with Father Carlos or make a friend with Father Carlos or Father Francis or whatever may be Father Father Francis or whatever may be Father Father Francis or whatever may be Father Dominic, Dominic, Dominic, that my identity suddenly, when I became that my identity suddenly, when I became that my identity suddenly, when I became friends with them and I started like friends with them and I started like friends with them and I started like hang out with them, like suddenly my hang out with them, like suddenly my hang out with them, like suddenly my identity was based on identity was based on identity was based on my relationship with them. Um, and and my relationship with them. Um, and and my relationship with them. Um, and and of course, you know, I mean I can get of course, you know, I mean I can get of course, you know, I mean I can get into like my identity is based in Christ into like my identity is based in Christ into like my identity is based in Christ alone and like all these things and I alone and like all these things and I alone and like all these things and I get it, but listen, get it, but listen, get it, but listen, our identity still comes from what other our identity still comes from what other our identity still comes from what other people say about us, about what what people say about us, about what what people say about us, about what what other people believe about us. So, to be other people believe about us. So, to be other people believe about us. So, to be suddenly in relationship with these suddenly in relationship with these suddenly in relationship with these monks. And then towards the end, the monks. And then towards the end, the monks. And then towards the end, the monks didn't want me to leave, Carey. monks didn't want me to leave, Carey. monks didn't want me to leave, Carey. The monks again, they didn't know they The monks again, they didn't know they The monks again, they didn't know they they didn't know I'm on Instagram or they didn't know I'm on Instagram or they didn't know I'm on Instagram or they didn't know they didn't know they didn't know all the stuff that I do. They just all the stuff that I do. They just all the stuff that I do. They just they were like, "We're going to miss they were like, "We're going to miss they were like, "We're going to miss these conversations with you, Carlos. these conversations with you, Carlos. these conversations with you, Carlos. Like, we bid you farewell." That last Like, we bid you farewell." That last Like, we bid you farewell." That last day I was there, um, my wife is with me day I was there, um, my wife is with me day I was there, um, my wife is with me and they every single day at mass at and they every single day at mass at and they every single day at mass at noon, they would read, um, the prayer noon, they would read, um, the prayer noon, they would read, um, the prayer request that people would write in in request that people would write in in request that people would write in in the back of the little chapel. Um, and the back of the little chapel. Um, and the back of the little chapel. Um, and one of the monks had written, "We bid one of the monks had written, "We bid one of the monks had written, "We bid farewell to our brother Carlos. Um, farewell to our brother Carlos. Um, farewell to our brother Carlos. Um, thank you for, you know, blessing us thank you for, you know, blessing us thank you for, you know, blessing us with They wrote a little thing about with They wrote a little thing about with They wrote a little thing about me." I bawled like me." I bawled like me." I bawled like I've not cried in a long I've not cried in a long I've not cried in a long cared about cared about me and suddenly

cared about cared about me and suddenly cared about cared about me and suddenly there was a piece of my identity that I there was a piece of my identity that I there was a piece of my identity that I was leaving there. And so, I just it was was leaving there. And so, I just it was was leaving there. And so, I just it was a very healthy identity shift for me a very healthy identity shift for me a very healthy identity shift for me where, you know, by the time now when where, you know, by the time now when where, you know, by the time now when I'm home, gosh, man, it's just so much I'm home, gosh, man, it's just so much I'm home, gosh, man, it's just so much easier to base my self-worth not only in easier to base my self-worth not only in easier to base my self-worth not only in what God believes about me, but in the what God believes about me, but in the what God believes about me, but in the people that I'm investing in locally, people that I'm investing in locally, people that I'm investing in locally, the people my church, um my friends. I'm the people my church, um my friends. I'm the people my church, um my friends. I'm a lot better friend now because I think a lot better friend now because I think a lot better friend now because I think that I identify more as a friend to my that I identify more as a friend to my that I identify more as a friend to my friends than just a friend to the Insta friends than just a friend to the Insta friends than just a friend to the Insta familia. So, you know, I mean, there's a familia. So, you know, I mean, there's a familia. So, you know, I mean, there's a lot to unpack there, but the identity lot to unpack there, but the identity lot to unpack there, but the identity piece was was big because a lot of us piece was was big because a lot of us piece was was big because a lot of us um that do what I do for a living um that do what I do for a living um that do what I do for a living definitely can fall trap and victim to definitely can fall trap and victim to definitely can fall trap and victim to base your identity um on what what base your identity um on what what base your identity um on what what random strangers think about us. random strangers think about us. random strangers think about us. When you think about the friendships you When you think about the friendships you When you think about the friendships you forged at the monastery, forged at the monastery, forged at the monastery, I want to know whether there was a I want to know whether there was a I want to know whether there was a different quality different quality different quality to those friendships. And I know they to those friendships. And I know they to those friendships. And I know they were short. I mean, they could be were short. I mean, they could be were short. I mean, they could be measured in days, not months or years. measured in days, not months or years. measured in days, not months or years. But when there's no distractions, when But when there's no distractions, when But when there's no distractions, when there's solitude, when you've got that 1 there's solitude, when you've got that 1 there's solitude, when you've got that 1 hour a day and you haven't got a phone hour a day and you haven't got a phone hour a day and you haven't got a phone buzzing in your pocket or you're not buzzing in your pocket or you're not buzzing in your pocket or you're not preoccupied, did that have an impact on preoccupied, did that have an impact on preoccupied, did that have an impact on the kind or quality of relationships you the kind or quality of relationships you the kind or quality of relationships you were building when you were there?

Think about this for a second. Think about this for a second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 7 weeks. 7 weeks. 7 weeks. You just said it. I never had not a You just said it. I never had not a You just said it. I never had not a single buzz go off in my pocket or my single buzz go off in my pocket or my single buzz go off in my pocket or my wrist. So, what does that mean? When I wrist. So, what does that mean? When I wrist. So, what does that mean? When I was talking to somebody, looking them in was talking to somebody, looking them in was talking to somebody, looking them in the eye, I was 1,000% right there with the eye, I was 1,000% right there with the eye, I was 1,000% right there with them them them the whole time. So, no wonder there was the whole time. So, no wonder there was the whole time. So, no wonder there was an acceleration to the depths of the an acceleration to the depths of the an acceleration to the depths of the relationships that were formed because relationships that were formed because relationships that were formed because suddenly like I was nowhere else. suddenly like I was nowhere else. suddenly like I was nowhere else. Whereas, you know, the the more research Whereas, you know, the the more research Whereas, you know, the the more research I do, the more studies show that even if I do, the more studies show that even if I do, the more studies show that even if we have a phone in our pocket and we're we have a phone in our pocket and we're we have a phone in our pocket and we're looking at somebody and it buzzes for looking at somebody and it buzzes for looking at somebody and it buzzes for like we legitimately will leave our like we legitimately will leave our like we legitimately will leave our current reality and our mind goes to the current reality and our mind goes to the current reality and our mind goes to the phone, who it could be, what's it what phone, who it could be, what's it what phone, who it could be, what's it what time is it, why would there be a time is it, why would there be a time is it, why would there be a notification that's going off. And so, notification that's going off. And so, notification that's going off. And so, we lose connection in that moment. I had we lose connection in that moment. I had we lose connection in that moment. I had 7 weeks. I never lost connection. 7 weeks. I never lost connection. 7 weeks. I never lost connection. Um and yes, I'm telling you that it was Um and yes, I'm telling you that it was Um and yes, I'm telling you that it was very transformative to me. That's one of very transformative to me. That's one of very transformative to me. That's one of the main things that I've done on my the main things that I've done on my the main things that I've done on my phone is it literally lives on do not phone is it literally lives on do not phone is it literally lives on do not disturb. Now my phone is never not on do disturb. Now my phone is never not on do disturb. Now my phone is never not on do not disturb ever. So there's I've got my not disturb ever. So there's I've got my not disturb ever. So there's I've got my assistant Whitney and and if she texts assistant Whitney and and if she texts assistant Whitney and and if she texts me she's actually the only text me she's actually the only text me she's actually the only text notification that I get. I don't even notification that I get. I don't even notification that I get. I don't even get a text notification from my wife or get a text notification from my wife or get a text notification from my wife or her kids.

her kids. her kids. Um Um Um only if they call me will my phone buzz. only if they call me will my phone buzz. only if they call me will my phone buzz. But man, I am so much more present now But man, I am so much more present now But man, I am so much more present now because I'm just with it. because I'm just with it. because I'm just with it. The number of times that a monk would be The number of times that a monk would be The number of times that a monk would be in conversation with me and then their in conversation with me and then their in conversation with me and then their phone would ding and they'd reach in phone would ding and they'd reach in phone would ding and they'd reach in their pocket and pull it out. Oh, I'm their pocket and pull it out. Oh, I'm their pocket and pull it out. Oh, I'm sorry Carlos. Oh, sorry my brother is sorry Carlos. Oh, sorry my brother is sorry Carlos. Oh, sorry my brother is out there and they and they put it back out there and they and they put it back out there and they and they put it back and I'm like, did a monk just do that to and I'm like, did a monk just do that to and I'm like, did a monk just do that to me? You know, like did that just me? You know, like did that just me? You know, like did that just actually happen? actually happen? actually happen? that's called fubbing, isn't it? Is it that's called fubbing, isn't it? Is it that's called fubbing, isn't it? Is it there's some new term to it. It's like there's some new term to it. It's like there's some new term to it. It's like phone snubbing somebody. I don't know. phone snubbing somebody. I don't know. phone snubbing somebody. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what, it's interesting. I But you know what, it's interesting. I But you know what, it's interesting. I have been living with permanent do not have been living with permanent do not have been living with permanent do not disturb on my phone for maybe I'm going disturb on my phone for maybe I'm going disturb on my phone for maybe I'm going to say 7-8 years. I love whenever they to say 7-8 years. I love whenever they to say 7-8 years. I love whenever they introduced it and I'm surprised when introduced it and I'm surprised when introduced it and I'm surprised when people and I got an Apple Watch and you people and I got an Apple Watch and you people and I got an Apple Watch and you know, I carry my phone everywhere. I'm know, I carry my phone everywhere. I'm know, I carry my phone everywhere. I'm still not convinced that that is as good still not convinced that that is as good still not convinced that that is as good as just being phoneless and watchless. as just being phoneless and watchless. as just being phoneless and watchless. Like, you know, I think that's different Like, you know, I think that's different Like, you know, I think that's different but you're right. It's like amazing and but you're right. It's like amazing and but you're right. It's like amazing and and nobody gets through. I get a phone and nobody gets through. I get a phone and nobody gets through. I get a phone call. I've got like a dozen people in my call. I've got like a dozen people in my call. I've got like a dozen people in my life who can call me and it will buzz.

life who can call me and it will buzz. life who can call me and it will buzz. It happens so rarely that when it does It happens so rarely that when it does It happens so rarely that when it does I'm kind of like, oh, this thing still I'm kind of like, oh, this thing still I'm kind of like, oh, this thing still buzzes. And I find it really helps my buzzes. And I find it really helps my buzzes. And I find it really helps my focus, my concentration but I'm as bad focus, my concentration but I'm as bad focus, my concentration but I'm as bad as anybody. Like when there's a break in as anybody. Like when there's a break in as anybody. Like when there's a break in the in the in the day or the rhythm just the in the in the day or the rhythm just the in the in the day or the rhythm just to whip out my phone and see what's to whip out my phone and see what's to whip out my phone and see what's going on or who who I missed. So all going on or who who I missed. So all going on or who who I missed. So all right. Let's anything else about the right. Let's anything else about the right. Let's anything else about the monastery? monastery? monastery? Cuz I do want to talk about the Amish. Cuz I do want to talk about the Amish. Cuz I do want to talk about the Amish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, I Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, I Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, I you know, I I think that the the you know, I I think that the the you know, I I think that the the monastery and I think readers monastery and I think readers monastery and I think readers or when you watch the documentary, or when you watch the documentary, or when you watch the documentary, whatever, will whatever, will whatever, will will realize that the monastery was very will realize that the monastery was very will realize that the monastery was very that was where a lot of the inner work that was where a lot of the inner work that was where a lot of the inner work happened. happened. happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um and and I feel like the the Amish is Um and and I feel like the the Amish is Um and and I feel like the the Amish is where a lot of the outer work happened. where a lot of the outer work happened. where a lot of the outer work happened. So, like, you know, again, the So, like, you know, again, the So, like, you know, again, the monastery, it was like monastery, it was like monastery, it was like all of these things inside, you know, all of these things inside, you know, all of these things inside, you know, solitude, boredom, solitude, boredom, solitude, boredom, um all all of these things were were um all all of these things were were um all all of these things were were brought out of me there. And, you know, brought out of me there. And, you know, brought out of me there. And, you know, it's it's funny. I will say that I'm it's it's funny. I will say that I'm it's it's funny. I will say that I'm grateful I went to the monastery first grateful I went to the monastery first grateful I went to the monastery first cuz it almost was backwards. I almost cuz it almost was backwards. I almost cuz it almost was backwards. I almost went to the Amish first went to the Amish first went to the Amish first Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. and monastery second just because of and monastery second just because of and monastery second just because of schedules. And I think it would have schedules. And I think it would have schedules. And I think it would have been a completely different book, a been a completely different book, a been a completely different book, a completely different experiment had that completely different experiment had that completely different experiment had that happened. And so, happened. And so, happened. And so, Well, the Amish would have put you to Well, the Amish would have put you to Well, the Amish would have put you to work.

work. work. Oh, bro. It was like moving from a cave Oh, bro. It was like moving from a cave Oh, bro. It was like moving from a cave to New York City. It was it was crazy. to New York City. It was it was crazy. to New York City. It was it was crazy. But, uh yeah, I mean, again, Saint But, uh yeah, I mean, again, Saint But, uh yeah, I mean, again, Saint Andrew's Abbey, and I'll I I love to Andrew's Abbey, and I'll I I love to Andrew's Abbey, and I'll I I love to tell people, um you know, the these tell people, um you know, the these tell people, um you know, the these these monks took me in, and they're these monks took me in, and they're these monks took me in, and they're like, "Tell all your friends." I mean, like, "Tell all your friends." I mean, like, "Tell all your friends." I mean, you can you can get a retreat there, you you can you can get a retreat there, you you can you can get a retreat there, you can go there. It's in the high desert of can go there. It's in the high desert of can go there. It's in the high desert of Southern California. They will treat you Southern California. They will treat you Southern California. They will treat you well. Father Carlos, tell him I sent well. Father Carlos, tell him I sent well. Father Carlos, tell him I sent you. Tell him I said hey. They will they you. Tell him I said hey. They will they you. Tell him I said hey. They will they will love on you, and they they actually will love on you, and they they actually will love on you, and they they actually don't eat just lentil soup. They eat don't eat just lentil soup. They eat don't eat just lentil soup. They eat some really amazing enchiladas on Sunday some really amazing enchiladas on Sunday some really amazing enchiladas on Sunday evenings. You got to go check them out. evenings. You got to go check them out. evenings. You got to go check them out. That's cool. Well, Henry now, and I That's cool. Well, Henry now, and I That's cool. Well, Henry now, and I mean, they bake bread every day. I'm I'm mean, they bake bread every day. I'm I'm mean, they bake bread every day. I'm I'm going to the Genesee Monastery. That's going to the Genesee Monastery. That's going to the Genesee Monastery. That's our plan this fall. I'm going to buy our plan this fall. I'm going to buy our plan this fall. I'm going to buy some of the bread that they're making. some of the bread that they're making. some of the bread that they're making. Literally 50 years to the year after he Literally 50 years to the year after he Literally 50 years to the year after he was there. was there. was there. Wow. Wow. Wow. long gone. But, anyway, favorite book, long gone. But, anyway, favorite book, long gone. But, anyway, favorite book, Genesee Diary. Um okay, so an Amish Genesee Diary. Um okay, so an Amish Genesee Diary. Um okay, so an Amish farm. farm. farm. Um Um Um Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. similar similar vibe there. It's like similar similar vibe there. It's like similar similar vibe there. It's like these are people who do not play by 2024 these are people who do not play by 2024 these are people who do not play by 2024 rules. So, I'm going to go check out rules. So, I'm going to go check out rules. So, I'm going to go check out what's going on. what's going on. what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. So, so it was again, I I Yeah. Yeah. So, so it was again, I I Yeah. Yeah. So, so it was again, I I once I once once I once once I once the monks were the first kind of the monks were the first kind of the monks were the first kind of subculture that I nailed down. I was subculture that I nailed down. I was subculture that I nailed down. I was like, "Okay, I'm going to live with like, "Okay, I'm going to live with like, "Okay, I'm going to live with them. Who am I going to live with now?"

them. Who am I going to live with now?" them. Who am I going to live with now?" And so, initially, it was like, "Well, And so, initially, it was like, "Well, And so, initially, it was like, "Well, maybe I'll go to a cabin in the woods." maybe I'll go to a cabin in the woods." maybe I'll go to a cabin in the woods." But, I was like, "No, like, But, I was like, "No, like, But, I was like, "No, like, I think I'm going to be pretty solituded I think I'm going to be pretty solituded I think I'm going to be pretty solituded out by this point. Like, I'm going to out by this point. Like, I'm going to out by this point. Like, I'm going to need and so I have a friend Leanne who need and so I have a friend Leanne who need and so I have a friend Leanne who is just a great family friend and she is is just a great family friend and she is is just a great family friend and she is married to a former Amish man named married to a former Amish man named married to a former Amish man named Daryl. Daryl. Daryl. And I just yeah, I just called her and I And I just yeah, I just called her and I And I just yeah, I just called her and I was like, "Do you think that Daryl's was like, "Do you think that Daryl's was like, "Do you think that Daryl's family would let me live with them?" And family would let me live with them?" And family would let me live with them?" And she's like, "What? Why would you want to she's like, "What? Why would you want to she's like, "What? Why would you want to do that?" And I told her the idea and do that?" And I told her the idea and do that?" And I told her the idea and Daryl's family actually said no, so they Daryl's family actually said no, so they Daryl's family actually said no, so they rejected me. rejected me. rejected me. And then another Amish family that I And then another Amish family that I And then another Amish family that I went I literally flew went I literally flew went I literally flew um um um met them at their farm and they kind of met them at their farm and they kind of met them at their farm and they kind of interviewed me and then they said no as interviewed me and then they said no as interviewed me and then they said no as well. And so like I I just well. And so like I I just well. And so like I I just I've been I've been getting shunned over I've been I've been getting shunned over I've been I've been getting shunned over and over. And then finally like it was and over. And then finally like it was and over. And then finally like it was kind of last ditch effort this kind of last ditch effort this kind of last ditch effort this incredible family, the Miller family incredible family, the Miller family incredible family, the Miller family that own a sheep farm said absolutely he that own a sheep farm said absolutely he that own a sheep farm said absolutely he can he can live here. And so yeah, I can he can live here. And so yeah, I can he can live here. And so yeah, I wanted to see what um wanted to see what um wanted to see what um what another kind of subculture that what another kind of subculture that what another kind of subculture that that I was hoping was kind of screen that I was hoping was kind of screen that I was hoping was kind of screen free what what that would feel like was free what what that would feel like was free what what that would feel like was and man it was a freaking blast. Like I and man it was a freaking blast. Like I and man it was a freaking blast. Like I just I had the time of my life there. It just I had the time of my life there. It just I had the time of my life there. It was it was completely different and I was it was completely different and I was it was completely different and I learned a lot of different things from learned a lot of different things from learned a lot of different things from the from the Amish than I did the monks.

the from the Amish than I did the monks. the from the Amish than I did the monks. But yeah man, it was great. I got on a But yeah man, it was great. I got on a But yeah man, it was great. I got on a plane. My wife picked me up from the plane. My wife picked me up from the plane. My wife picked me up from the monastery. We drove to LAX and she put monastery. We drove to LAX and she put monastery. We drove to LAX and she put me on a plane with a paper boarding pass me on a plane with a paper boarding pass me on a plane with a paper boarding pass and you know I I mean when's the last and you know I I mean when's the last and you know I I mean when's the last time anyone that listens to your podcast time anyone that listens to your podcast time anyone that listens to your podcast traveled without a phone? It's the traveled without a phone? It's the traveled without a phone? It's the craziest thing ever. I mean to just have craziest thing ever. I mean to just have craziest thing ever. I mean to just have a paper boarding pass a paper boarding pass a paper boarding pass have to get out and look at the screens have to get out and look at the screens have to get out and look at the screens like, "Okay, what's my next gate?" You like, "Okay, what's my next gate?" You like, "Okay, what's my next gate?" You know, like all the things that we don't know, like all the things that we don't know, like all the things that we don't do anymore. do anymore. do anymore. Get picked up at the airport without a Get picked up at the airport without a Get picked up at the airport without a phone. I mean have you tried that since phone. I mean have you tried that since phone. I mean have you tried that since 1992? Like I'm just you know, I told 1992? Like I'm just you know, I told 1992? Like I'm just you know, I told Leanne, "Hey, this is what time I land Leanne, "Hey, this is what time I land Leanne, "Hey, this is what time I land and I'm just going to kind of go to and I'm just going to kind of go to and I'm just going to kind of go to baggage claim and hope that you're baggage claim and hope that you're baggage claim and hope that you're there." there." there." So all of those things happened and it So all of those things happened and it So all of those things happened and it was it was a blast. But I got there and was it was a blast. But I got there and was it was a blast. But I got there and yeah, started my Amish journey. yeah, started my Amish journey. yeah, started my Amish journey. Mhm. What were some top lessons from Mhm. What were some top lessons from Mhm. What were some top lessons from your Amish experience. your Amish experience. your Amish experience. Top lessons. Let's go. Let's go with um Top lessons. Let's go. Let's go with um Top lessons. Let's go. Let's go with um I think that I think that I think that number one, number one, number one, the thing that I noticed very quickly is the thing that I noticed very quickly is the thing that I noticed very quickly is that mealtime that mealtime that mealtime was the foundation was the foundation was the foundation of really their community. They they of really their community. They they of really their community. They they they call it visiting. So, they're like, they call it visiting. So, they're like, they call it visiting. So, they're like, you know, you know, you know, in 2 days we're going to go visit with in 2 days we're going to go visit with in 2 days we're going to go visit with whoever. And so, a visit means uh you're whoever. And so, a visit means uh you're whoever. And so, a visit means uh you're going to have a meal.

going to have a meal. going to have a meal. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. And so so, the meals And so so, the meals And so so, the meals I'm I'm telling you, breakfast lasted an I'm I'm telling you, breakfast lasted an I'm I'm telling you, breakfast lasted an hour. hour. hour. Lunch lasted an hour and a half. Dinner Lunch lasted an hour and a half. Dinner Lunch lasted an hour and a half. Dinner lasted an hour and a half, if not two lasted an hour and a half, if not two lasted an hour and a half, if not two two and a half hours. two and a half hours. two and a half hours. And And And you know, you know, you know, the it they were the cornerstone of of the it they were the cornerstone of of the it they were the cornerstone of of their of their community. Just the meals their of their community. Just the meals their of their community. Just the meals and like they would they would they and like they would they would they and like they would they would they would have courses, you know, like it would have courses, you know, like it would have courses, you know, like it was first and second and third. And the was first and second and third. And the was first and second and third. And the meals would just last forever. And we meals would just last forever. And we meals would just last forever. And we would just talk and talk and talk. And would just talk and talk and talk. And would just talk and talk and talk. And believe it or not, Carey, me and the believe it or not, Carey, me and the believe it or not, Carey, me and the Amish don't see eye to eye on a lot of Amish don't see eye to eye on a lot of Amish don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. things. things. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. crazy crazy. And And the beautiful thing crazy crazy. And And the beautiful thing crazy crazy. And And the beautiful thing is we got to disagree over meals, over a is we got to disagree over meals, over a is we got to disagree over meals, over a shared love of something. And so, I'd shared love of something. And so, I'd shared love of something. And so, I'd say one of the first things I realized say one of the first things I realized say one of the first things I realized was how important meals are. And then was how important meals are. And then was how important meals are. And then when I started doing research when I got when I started doing research when I got when I started doing research when I got home, the average American meal 100 home, the average American meal 100 home, the average American meal 100 years ago was 90 minutes long. The years ago was 90 minutes long. The years ago was 90 minutes long. The average American meal in 2023 was 12 average American meal in 2023 was 12 average American meal in 2023 was 12 minutes long. minutes long. minutes long. We have lost We have lost We have lost meals. And in that, we've lost the meals. And in that, we've lost the meals. And in that, we've lost the ability to have crucial conversations, ability to have crucial conversations, ability to have crucial conversations, to have conversations with people that to have conversations with people that to have conversations with people that maybe we disagree with, but do it over maybe we disagree with, but do it over maybe we disagree with, but do it over something that we both love. Do it over something that we both love. Do it over something that we both love. Do it over something that that is shared. So, um something that that is shared. So, um something that that is shared. So, um meals was a huge one for me, you know.

meals was a huge one for me, you know. meals was a huge one for me, you know. Um so, yeah. I mean, that's one of them. Um so, yeah. I mean, that's one of them. Um so, yeah. I mean, that's one of them. I I've got 40. So, yeah. I I've got 40. So, yeah. I I've got 40. So, yeah. Yeah. No, I want to talk about meals a Yeah. No, I want to talk about meals a Yeah. No, I want to talk about meals a little bit. I think there is something little bit. I think there is something little bit. I think there is something sacramental to meals. We were out with sacramental to meals. We were out with sacramental to meals. We were out with some of our best friends on Friday night some of our best friends on Friday night some of our best friends on Friday night and that came up around the dinner and that came up around the dinner and that came up around the dinner table. You know, he has a Dutch table. You know, he has a Dutch table. You know, he has a Dutch background, I have a Dutch background, background, I have a Dutch background, background, I have a Dutch background, immigrant parents. And it was this idea immigrant parents. And it was this idea immigrant parents. And it was this idea that you prayed before and after meals. that you prayed before and after meals. that you prayed before and after meals. Nobody was allowed to eat until everyone Nobody was allowed to eat until everyone Nobody was allowed to eat until everyone was seated. was seated. was seated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was an order and a chronology to There was an order and a chronology to There was an order and a chronology to it and it was a way to catch up on the it and it was a way to catch up on the it and it was a way to catch up on the day and to figure out what happened. Our day and to figure out what happened. Our day and to figure out what happened. Our meals probably weren't an hour and a meals probably weren't an hour and a meals probably weren't an hour and a half as kids, but they were like half as kids, but they were like half as kids, but they were like probably 45 minutes at least. And then probably 45 minutes at least. And then probably 45 minutes at least. And then one of the rules Tony, my wife, and I one of the rules Tony, my wife, and I one of the rules Tony, my wife, and I set up when we got married was we're set up when we got married was we're set up when we got married was we're going to have and then had kids, we're going to have and then had kids, we're going to have and then had kids, we're going to have a sit-down, look at each going to have a sit-down, look at each going to have a sit-down, look at each other and talk meal with our family other and talk meal with our family other and talk meal with our family where everyone's present at least five where everyone's present at least five where everyone's present at least five nights a week. nights a week. nights a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. had we had, you know, sports and I was had we had, you know, sports and I was had we had, you know, sports and I was busy. I was running a church at the busy. I was running a church at the busy. I was running a church at the time. time. time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But no excuses at least five nights a But no excuses at least five nights a But no excuses at least five nights a week. And one of our favorite things to week. And one of our favorite things to week. And one of our favorite things to do with our friends is to break bread do with our friends is to break bread do with our friends is to break bread together. Whether that's here at a together. Whether that's here at a together. Whether that's here at a restaurant, um, you know, take people restaurant, um, you know, take people restaurant, um, you know, take people out on the boat, have a a meal to go on out on the boat, have a a meal to go on out on the boat, have a a meal to go on the water, that kind of stuff. There is the water, that kind of stuff. There is the water, that kind of stuff. There is something sacramental about food.

something sacramental about food. something sacramental about food. Yes. Yes. Holy. Yes. Yes. Holy. Yes. Yes. Holy. Okay. Have you changed your meal regimen Okay. Have you changed your meal regimen Okay. Have you changed your meal regimen since you got home? What's different? since you got home? What's different? since you got home? What's different? Oh, yeah. Yeah, my poor family. You Oh, yeah. Yeah, my poor family. You Oh, yeah. Yeah, my poor family. You know, my my poor kids when I got home, know, my my poor kids when I got home, know, my my poor kids when I got home, I'm like, "All right, we're eating for I'm like, "All right, we're eating for I'm like, "All right, we're eating for two hours." You know, and so then I two hours." You know, and so then I two hours." You know, and so then I quickly realized, "Okay, we're not going quickly realized, "Okay, we're not going quickly realized, "Okay, we're not going to be able to pull off two hours." to be able to pull off two hours." to be able to pull off two hours." in a box. Everybody like in a box. Everybody like in a box. Everybody like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And um, so yeah, obviously there's no And um, so yeah, obviously there's no And um, so yeah, obviously there's no more screens um, at the at the table. more screens um, at the at the table. more screens um, at the at the table. There was before, you know, I I just I'd There was before, you know, I I just I'd There was before, you know, I I just I'd have it next to my plate and then, you have it next to my plate and then, you have it next to my plate and then, you know, I wouldn't look at it until it know, I wouldn't look at it until it know, I wouldn't look at it until it buzzed and then I'd look. Next thing you buzzed and then I'd look. Next thing you buzzed and then I'd look. Next thing you know, like everyone's looking at their know, like everyone's looking at their know, like everyone's looking at their phone. All of those things. We we kind phone. All of those things. We we kind phone. All of those things. We we kind of changed those things up. Now, of changed those things up. Now, of changed those things up. Now, So no phones at the table. So no phones at the table. So no phones at the table. No no phones at the table. Everybody No no phones at the table. Everybody No no phones at the table. Everybody helps with creating the meal and helps with creating the meal and helps with creating the meal and everyone helps with cleaning the meal. everyone helps with cleaning the meal. everyone helps with cleaning the meal. That also happened with the Amish. So so That also happened with the Amish. So so That also happened with the Amish. So so what happens is when uh, like last what happens is when uh, like last what happens is when uh, like last night, great example. Last night for night, great example. Last night for night, great example. Last night for instance, instance, instance, my son, my 18-year-old son, was in my son, my 18-year-old son, was in my son, my 18-year-old son, was in charge of the entire meal. And so we charge of the entire meal. And so we charge of the entire meal. And so we helped him. And so what happens when an helped him. And so what happens when an helped him. And so what happens when an 18-year-old boy is in charge of an 18-year-old boy is in charge of an 18-year-old boy is in charge of an entire meal? entire meal? entire meal? He eats that meal way slower. He tastes He eats that meal way slower. He tastes He eats that meal way slower. He tastes it. He um savors it. All of these things it. He um savors it. All of these things it. He um savors it. All of these things um that we've started to implement in um that we've started to implement in um that we've started to implement in our into our mealtime. Now, our into our mealtime. Now, our into our mealtime. Now, we've got, you know, one of my daughters we've got, you know, one of my daughters we've got, you know, one of my daughters is married, so she uh since this is married, so she uh since this is married, so she uh since this experiment, she no longer lives here. I experiment, she no longer lives here. I experiment, she no longer lives here. I had another daughter move out. She just had another daughter move out. She just had another daughter move out. She just moved back. So, you know, mealtime looks moved back. So, you know, mealtime looks moved back. So, you know, mealtime looks a little bit different um for, you know, a little bit different um for, you know, a little bit different um for, you know, our family than maybe a family that has our family than maybe a family that has our family than maybe a family that has little kids. Um but again, your kids can little kids. Um but again, your kids can little kids. Um but again, your kids can also um I mean, I saw a little Amish also um I mean, I saw a little Amish also um I mean, I saw a little Amish kids that were slicing potatoes. You kids that were slicing potatoes. You kids that were slicing potatoes. You know, like, we don't give kids enough know, like, we don't give kids enough know, like, we don't give kids enough credit to they can cook. They can And

credit to they can cook. They can And credit to they can cook. They can And when you cook something, you savor it when you cook something, you savor it when you cook something, you savor it just a little bit more. So, we've added just a little bit more. So, we've added just a little bit more. So, we've added those things in. Definitely the length those things in. Definitely the length those things in. Definitely the length of meals um has just gotten longer of meals um has just gotten longer of meals um has just gotten longer because of that. Um we're not setting because of that. Um we're not setting because of that. Um we're not setting timers like, "Okay, 90 minutes, start. timers like, "Okay, 90 minutes, start. timers like, "Okay, 90 minutes, start. Put the you know, the phone and the Put the you know, the phone and the Put the you know, the phone and the timer in the kitchen. We're not getting timer in the kitchen. We're not getting timer in the kitchen. We're not getting up." No, we just um really up." No, we just um really up." No, we just um really And we're also comfortable with with And we're also comfortable with with And we're also comfortable with with silence. I think I think some people silence. I think I think some people silence. I think I think some people think that a meal has to just be filled think that a meal has to just be filled think that a meal has to just be filled with conversation all the time. No. Just with conversation all the time. No. Just with conversation all the time. No. Just sit there for a few minutes and eat. sit there for a few minutes and eat. sit there for a few minutes and eat. Well, if there's one thing when I was Well, if there's one thing when I was Well, if there's one thing when I was with the with the with the monks, we would have to eat breakfast monks, we would have to eat breakfast monks, we would have to eat breakfast and dinner in silence at tables filled and dinner in silence at tables filled and dinner in silence at tables filled with strangers. So, I'd be sitting there with strangers. So, I'd be sitting there with strangers. So, I'd be sitting there and and and Carrie, you've never heard your stomach Carrie, you've never heard your stomach Carrie, you've never heard your stomach move like make more sounds than when you move like make more sounds than when you move like make more sounds than when you have to sit in silence and eat a meal have to sit in silence and eat a meal have to sit in silence and eat a meal next to a stranger, right? And so, like, next to a stranger, right? And so, like, next to a stranger, right? And so, like, I I tell my, you know, friends and I I tell my, you know, friends and I I tell my, you know, friends and family all the time like, "It's okay if family all the time like, "It's okay if family all the time like, "It's okay if we don't have a lot to talk about, but we don't have a lot to talk about, but we don't have a lot to talk about, but let's just sit here. Like, let's let's let's just sit here. Like, let's let's let's just sit here. Like, let's let's just sit here and be." just sit here and be." just sit here and be." You talking about little kids at the You talking about little kids at the You talking about little kids at the table brought back a memory that I had table brought back a memory that I had table brought back a memory that I had forgotten, but a few months ago I was in forgotten, but a few months ago I was in forgotten, but a few months ago I was in Guatemala. I was with Compassion. I know Guatemala. I was with Compassion. I know Guatemala. I was with Compassion. I know you've done work with them, but you've done work with them, but you've done work with them, but Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. you know how they take you to the you know how they take you to the you know how they take you to the villages and you're usually at table villages and you're usually at table villages and you're usually at table with the kids or you're feeding the kids with the kids or you're feeding the kids with the kids or you're feeding the kids or that kind of stuff. And there was one or that kind of stuff. And there was one or that kind of stuff. And there was one particular village we were in that particular village we were in that particular village we were in that really blew me away. They had just a really blew me away. They had just a really blew me away. They had just a long table long table long table and they had some kids like barely able and they had some kids like barely able and they had some kids like barely able to sit at the table, like 18 months old, to sit at the table, like 18 months old, to sit at the table, like 18 months old, 2 years old. 2 years old. 2 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're sitting there, no devices, And they're sitting there, no devices, And they're sitting there, no devices, no phones, no iPad, no like one-on-one no phones, no iPad, no like one-on-one no phones, no iPad, no like one-on-one supervision. Obviously, it was well supervision. Obviously, it was well supervision. Obviously, it was well supervised, but the kids were basically supervised, but the kids were basically supervised, but the kids were basically there with just slightly older kids. there with just slightly older kids. there with just slightly older kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They sat there, so attentive, yes, so They sat there, so attentive, yes, so They sat there, so attentive, yes, so quiet, so wrapped for half an hour, 45 quiet, so wrapped for half an hour, 45 quiet, so wrapped for half an hour, 45 minutes, eating, and then when they minutes, eating, and then when they minutes, eating, and then when they couldn't figure it out, there was no couldn't figure it out, there was no couldn't figure it out, there was no squawking, there was no yelling, and it squawking, there was no yelling, and it squawking, there was no yelling, and it just made me think, "What have we done just made me think, "What have we done just made me think, "What have we done in our culture? What What have we done in our culture? What What have we done in our culture? What What have we done that we need to be entertained every that we need to be entertained every that we need to be entertained every second?" Because clearly, 18 months old second?" Because clearly, 18 months old second?" Because clearly, 18 months old are capable of sitting at the table, are capable of sitting at the table, are capable of sitting at the table, being fully focused on eating the meal being fully focused on eating the meal being fully focused on eating the meal and enjoying the moment. and enjoying the moment. and enjoying the moment. Bro. Bro. Bro. Let's keep going here, Bro. Bro. Bro. Let's keep going here, Bro. Bro. Bro. Let's keep going here, because because because I don't Again, I don't I didn't I don't I don't Again, I don't I didn't I don't I don't Again, I don't I didn't I don't I don't think I wrote about this in the I don't think I wrote about this in the I don't think I wrote about this in the book. I'm getting confused now, cuz I've book. I'm getting confused now, cuz I've book. I'm getting confused now, cuz I've got a documentary and a book coming out, got a documentary and a book coming out, got a documentary and a book coming out, but I don't know where the stories live, but I don't know where the stories live, but I don't know where the stories live, but I I got invited to church, to Amish but I I got invited to church, to Amish but I I got invited to church, to Amish church. So, that was a like a huge church. So, that was a like a huge church. So, that was a like a huge thing, right? So, like I go to Amish thing, right? So, like I go to Amish thing, right? So, like I go to Amish church, I'm the first guest that this church, I'm the first guest that this church, I'm the first guest that this church has had in like a decade. It's church has had in like a decade. It's church has had in like a decade. It's just just just You know, Amish don't They're not out You know, Amish don't They're not out You know, Amish don't They're not out They're not doing out reach, okay?

They're not doing out reach, okay? They're not doing out reach, okay? There's no evangelism there. Yeah. There's no evangelism there. Yeah. There's no evangelism there. Yeah. There's no You know, you got to be There's no You know, you got to be There's no You know, you got to be Amish, right? And so, they let me in. Amish, right? And so, they let me in. Amish, right? And so, they let me in. This church service, bro, lasted 3 and This church service, bro, lasted 3 and This church service, bro, lasted 3 and 1/2 hours long. 1/2 hours long. 1/2 hours long. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Two sermons, Two sermons, Two sermons, um the you know, all of the singing very um the you know, all of the singing very um the you know, all of the singing very slowly, um the men sit on one side, the slowly, um the men sit on one side, the slowly, um the men sit on one side, the women sit on the other, they're facing women sit on the other, they're facing women sit on the other, they're facing each other, um the the preachers are in each other, um the the preachers are in each other, um the the preachers are in the middle. the middle. the middle. There's no kid school kid kids church. There's no kid school kid kids church. There's no kid school kid kids church. There There's There's no, you know, like There There's There's no, you know, like There There's There's no, you know, like like kids dance-a-thon like in the barn like kids dance-a-thon like in the barn like kids dance-a-thon like in the barn next door like no. These kids next door like no. These kids next door like no. These kids are sitting there for 3 and 1/2 hours. I are sitting there for 3 and 1/2 hours. I are sitting there for 3 and 1/2 hours. I don't think I heard one kid get don't think I heard one kid get don't think I heard one kid get restless. Legitimately, restless. Legitimately, restless. Legitimately, these kids are they're just there, and these kids are they're just there, and these kids are they're just there, and they're listening, and they're focused, they're listening, and they're focused, they're listening, and they're focused, and guess what? Yeah, there was a kid and guess what? Yeah, there was a kid and guess what? Yeah, there was a kid that get up and walk around, and they'd that get up and walk around, and they'd that get up and walk around, and they'd give him a give him a give him a little gold cra- goldfish cracker or you little gold cra- goldfish cracker or you little gold cra- goldfish cracker or you know, they'd have a little car toy or know, they'd have a little car toy or know, they'd have a little car toy or something. But these kids are just there something. But these kids are just there something. But these kids are just there and they're attentive and it's and they're attentive and it's and they're attentive and it's different. It's just different. It's different. It's just different. It's different. It's just different. It's just different. What have we done? You just different. What have we done? You just different. What have we done? You know, what what have we done? I um know, what what have we done? I um know, what what have we done? I um What one more thing What one more thing What one more thing Well, one more thing I'd say about this Well, one more thing I'd say about this Well, one more thing I'd say about this is is is um um um especially the the Amish kids like so my especially the the Amish kids like so my especially the the Amish kids like so my my little buddy Lane, he I think he was my little buddy Lane, he I think he was my little buddy Lane, he I think he was 5 years old when I was with him. Um and 5 years old when I was with him. Um and 5 years old when I was with him. Um and he just really really helped helped me.

he just really really helped helped me. he just really really helped helped me. We've got an Amish community here near We've got an Amish community here near We've got an Amish community here near Nashville that we used to drive the kids Nashville that we used to drive the kids Nashville that we used to drive the kids to and we could like buy bread and to and we could like buy bread and to and we could like buy bread and furniture from them. furniture from them. furniture from them. And I'd always look at these kids And I'd always look at these kids And I'd always look at these kids and you know, that they're kind of and you know, that they're kind of and you know, that they're kind of walking around in their wagons and I I walking around in their wagons and I I walking around in their wagons and I I used to always be like, man, those poor used to always be like, man, those poor used to always be like, man, those poor Amish kids. Like those those those poor Amish kids. Like those those those poor Amish kids. Like those those those poor kids. Like they they don't know what kids. Like they they don't know what kids. Like they they don't know what they're missing. Legitimately, this is they're missing. Legitimately, this is they're missing. Legitimately, this is what I would think. Like, gosh, these what I would think. Like, gosh, these what I would think. Like, gosh, these poor kids. Like look look at them. Like poor kids. Like look look at them. Like poor kids. Like look look at them. Like what He's just looking at a flower all what He's just looking at a flower all what He's just looking at a flower all day long. Like what in the world? Like day long. Like what in the world? Like day long. Like what in the world? Like these poor kids. And after living with these poor kids. And after living with these poor kids. And after living with the Millers the Millers the Millers and seeing Lane, and he's brilliant. and seeing Lane, and he's brilliant. and seeing Lane, and he's brilliant. He's what everything he knows about He's what everything he knows about He's what everything he knows about horses and hay and this kid could farm horses and hay and this kid could farm horses and hay and this kid could farm his own farm. his own farm. his own farm. He's five. He's five. He's five. He's five. And we'd sit there on their He's five. And we'd sit there on their He's five. And we'd sit there on their patio and and they live pretty close to patio and and they live pretty close to patio and and they live pretty close to like a main intersection on the road and like a main intersection on the road and like a main intersection on the road and so there's horse and buggies coming so there's horse and buggies coming so there's horse and buggies coming through, but then there's also a lot of through, but then there's also a lot of through, but then there's also a lot of cars. Um I I'll never forget the first cars. Um I I'll never forget the first cars. Um I I'll never forget the first time I saw minivan come by time I saw minivan come by time I saw minivan come by and there were two kids in the back of and there were two kids in the back of and there were two kids in the back of the minivan sitting there. This the minivan sitting there. This the minivan sitting there. This beautiful Amish country and they're beautiful Amish country and they're beautiful Amish country and they're sitting there You can see them staring sitting there You can see them staring sitting there You can see them staring at their iPads. And I'll I'll never at their iPads. And I'll I'll never at their iPads. And I'll I'll never forget the first time I I go forget the first time I I go forget the first time I I go Oh, these poor kids.

Oh, these poor kids. Oh, these poor kids. Like it's shifted. Like it's shifted. Like it's shifted. Just twisted. Just twisted. Just twisted. Just like that. Bam. And I was like, Just like that. Bam. And I was like, Just like that. Bam. And I was like, whoa. Wow. Like look look what I've whoa. Wow. Like look look what I've whoa. Wow. Like look look what I've seen. Listen. The Amish aren't perfect. seen. Listen. The Amish aren't perfect. seen. Listen. The Amish aren't perfect. The Mennonites aren't perfect. We all we The Mennonites aren't perfect. We all we The Mennonites aren't perfect. We all we all have our our things. But man, the all have our our things. But man, the all have our our things. But man, the beautiful lessons I learned from them, beautiful lessons I learned from them, beautiful lessons I learned from them, the lessons of getting lost and finding the lessons of getting lost and finding the lessons of getting lost and finding our way, the lessons of savoring, the our way, the lessons of savoring, the our way, the lessons of savoring, the lessons of community and the table of of lessons of community and the table of of lessons of community and the table of of being around people that don't look like being around people that don't look like being around people that don't look like me, think like me, believe like me, me, think like me, believe like me, me, think like me, believe like me, um um um and falling in love with them and being and falling in love with them and being and falling in love with them and being in a relationship with them. It was just in a relationship with them. It was just in a relationship with them. It was just dude, it was just so good. dude, it was just so good. dude, it was just so good. Other insights from the Amish? Other insights from the Amish? Other insights from the Amish? Yeah, let's go let's go with Yeah, let's go let's go with Yeah, let's go let's go with or about them? or about them? or about them? Yeah, let's go let's go with intuition. Yeah, let's go let's go with intuition. Yeah, let's go let's go with intuition. Let's go with with how um because of the Let's go with with how um because of the Let's go with with how um because of the their lack of screens, their lack of screens, their lack of screens, suddenly they have to rely on what some suddenly they have to rely on what some suddenly they have to rely on what some people would call the Holy Spirit, what people would call the Holy Spirit, what people would call the Holy Spirit, what some people would call intuition. some people would call intuition. some people would call intuition. And And And um just how um just how um just how often I'm basing my decisions every day often I'm basing my decisions every day often I'm basing my decisions every day off of somebody else's intuition off of somebody else's intuition off of somebody else's intuition as opposed to mine, right? Like like as opposed to mine, right? Like like as opposed to mine, right? Like like Yelp is like the worst thing to ever Yelp is like the worst thing to ever Yelp is like the worst thing to ever happen to our intuition. Like like we're happen to our intuition. Like like we're happen to our intuition. Like like we're like we're judging whether or not we're like we're judging whether or not we're like we're judging whether or not we're going to go to a hole in the wall going to go to a hole in the wall going to go to a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant based on like some Mexican restaurant based on like some Mexican restaurant based on like some other dude's taste buds that are telling other dude's taste buds that are telling other dude's taste buds that are telling us that he's only going to give it two us that he's only going to give it two us that he's only going to give it two stars. Like we So so we cut it off. Like stars. Like we So so we cut it off. Like stars. Like we So so we cut it off. Like there's no intuition, there's no gut there's no intuition, there's no gut there's no intuition, there's no gut that we're following anymore. And I that we're following anymore. And I that we're following anymore. And I would watch Willis trust his gut with would watch Willis trust his gut with would watch Willis trust his gut with those sheep, with the hay. One story those sheep, with the hay. One story those sheep, with the hay. One story that I'm never going to get tired of

that I'm never going to get tired of that I'm never going to get tired of telling is it was, you know, day maybe telling is it was, you know, day maybe telling is it was, you know, day maybe five or six with um farming every day five or six with um farming every day five or six with um farming every day with Willis and we're the main goal with Willis and we're the main goal with Willis and we're the main goal We're taking care of the sheep for a We're taking care of the sheep for a We're taking care of the sheep for a little bit, but the main goal is he's little bit, but the main goal is he's little bit, but the main goal is he's got to cut the hay, man. Like the hay is got to cut the hay, man. Like the hay is got to cut the hay, man. Like the hay is getting to the point where you got to getting to the point where you got to getting to the point where you got to cut it. And here I am, you know, a black cut it. And here I am, you know, a black cut it. And here I am, you know, a black dude from East LA. My mom's Mexican, my dude from East LA. My mom's Mexican, my dude from East LA. My mom's Mexican, my dad's Panamanian. I've never even you dad's Panamanian. I've never even you dad's Panamanian. I've never even you know, been on a farm longer than like 3 know, been on a farm longer than like 3 know, been on a farm longer than like 3 hours. And by day five, I'm like, "Yo hours. And by day five, I'm like, "Yo hours. And by day five, I'm like, "Yo Willis, like look at the look at the Willis, like look at the look at the Willis, like look at the look at the hay. It looks like today's it's ripe for hay. It looks like today's it's ripe for hay. It looks like today's it's ripe for cutting, right?" And so like I'm cutting, right?" And so like I'm cutting, right?" And so like I'm starting to give my opinion on the hay. starting to give my opinion on the hay. starting to give my opinion on the hay. And I'll never forget he And I'll never forget he And I'll never forget he Every day we kept waiting to cut the hay Every day we kept waiting to cut the hay Every day we kept waiting to cut the hay because it kept raining. because it kept raining. because it kept raining. And he's like, "You can't cut the hay And he's like, "You can't cut the hay And he's like, "You can't cut the hay when it rains when it rains when it rains because if you bale it, then it'll get because if you bale it, then it'll get because if you bale it, then it'll get mildewy and it'll mess up the hay. I've mildewy and it'll mess up the hay. I've mildewy and it'll mess up the hay. I've been growing this field for the last 5 been growing this field for the last 5 been growing this field for the last 5 months. We don't want to waste it. So months. We don't want to waste it. So months. We don't want to waste it. So we're waiting, we're waiting. We finally we're waiting, we're waiting. We finally we're waiting, we're waiting. We finally get a day, there's no rain. And he's get a day, there's no rain. And he's get a day, there's no rain. And he's like, "Tomorrow we're going to cut the like, "Tomorrow we're going to cut the like, "Tomorrow we're going to cut the hay." And I'm like, "Sweet, we're going hay." And I'm like, "Sweet, we're going hay." And I'm like, "Sweet, we're going to cut the hay." I wake up the next to cut the hay." I wake up the next to cut the hay." I wake up the next morning, there's thunder. morning, there's thunder. morning, there's thunder. I look out my little tiny house window, I look out my little tiny house window, I look out my little tiny house window, I see the rain just falling, you know, a I see the rain just falling, you know, a I see the rain just falling, you know, a mile away. It's just going I walk over mile away. It's just going I walk over mile away. It's just going I walk over to to meet Willis and uh I'm like, to to meet Willis and uh I'm like, to to meet Willis and uh I'm like, "Well, Willis, I guess we're not going "Well, Willis, I guess we're not going "Well, Willis, I guess we're not going to cut the hay today. We're going to try to cut the hay today. We're going to try to cut the hay today. We're going to try maybe try it tomorrow." He's like, "Oh, maybe try it tomorrow." He's like, "Oh, maybe try it tomorrow." He's like, "Oh, no, we're going to cut the hay today."

no, we're going to cut the hay today." no, we're going to cut the hay today." And I was like, "I thought you said And I was like, "I thought you said And I was like, "I thought you said that we can't cut the hay if it rains." that we can't cut the hay if it rains." that we can't cut the hay if it rains." He's like, "Look at your boots." He's like, "Look at your boots." He's like, "Look at your boots." And I I look down at my boots. He goes, And I I look down at my boots. He goes, And I I look down at my boots. He goes, "What do you see?" And I'm I'm like, "What do you see?" And I'm I'm like, "What do you see?" And I'm I'm like, "What is this dude doing? He's so "What is this dude doing? He's so "What is this dude doing? He's so weird." weird." weird." I go, "I don't know, they're wet." He I go, "I don't know, they're wet." He I go, "I don't know, they're wet." He goes, "Exactly." He goes, "If there's goes, "Exactly." He goes, "If there's goes, "Exactly." He goes, "If there's dew on your boots, it's not going to dew on your boots, it's not going to dew on your boots, it's not going to rain." And I was like, legitimately, rain." And I was like, legitimately, rain." And I was like, legitimately, this is the dumbest thing I've ever this is the dumbest thing I've ever this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. I'm like, heard in my entire life. I'm like, heard in my entire life. I'm like, "Willis, look, like you can see the "Willis, look, like you can see the "Willis, look, like you can see the rain, like you can see it." He's like, rain, like you can see it." He's like, rain, like you can see it." He's like, "It's not going to rain. I'm going to "It's not going to rain. I'm going to "It's not going to rain. I'm going to cut it." So, I'm sitting here thinking, cut it." So, I'm sitting here thinking, cut it." So, I'm sitting here thinking, I'm going to watch this man ruin his I'm going to watch this man ruin his I'm going to watch this man ruin his crop of hay and he's going to have to crop of hay and he's going to have to crop of hay and he's going to have to buy hay now and it's going to whatever. buy hay now and it's going to whatever. buy hay now and it's going to whatever. So, I leave with Diane and Kathy and we So, I leave with Diane and Kathy and we So, I leave with Diane and Kathy and we go somewhere and it's pouring rain on us go somewhere and it's pouring rain on us go somewhere and it's pouring rain on us the whole time. For hours on end. the whole time. For hours on end. the whole time. For hours on end. And we start driving back. And we start driving back. And we start driving back. We're in Krista, her daughter's uh car. We're in Krista, her daughter's uh car. We're in Krista, her daughter's uh car. Okay, so Krista's a Mennonite that lives Okay, so Krista's a Mennonite that lives Okay, so Krista's a Mennonite that lives with the Amish. So, they they're with the Amish. So, they they're with the Amish. So, they they're whatever. You can get into the book with whatever. You can get into the book with whatever. You can get into the book with all that stuff. But we're we're there, all that stuff. But we're we're there, all that stuff. But we're we're there, we're on our way back and it's pouring we're on our way back and it's pouring we're on our way back and it's pouring rain, pouring rain. We make it to about rain, pouring rain. We make it to about rain, pouring rain. We make it to about half a mile from their farm half a mile from their farm half a mile from their farm and I look at um and I look at um and I look at um Diane, his wife. Um and Kathy, his wife, Diane, his wife. Um and Kathy, his wife, Diane, his wife. Um and Kathy, his wife, and I go to Kathy like and I go to Kathy like and I go to Kathy like "I'm sorry that Willis chose to cut the "I'm sorry that Willis chose to cut the "I'm sorry that Willis chose to cut the hay today because hay today because hay today because like you everything's ruined." Like I like you everything's ruined." Like I like you everything's ruined." Like I felt bad and you could see she was like felt bad and you could see she was like felt bad and you could see she was like a little defeated.

a little defeated. a little defeated. Bro, we get within a quarter mile of Bro, we get within a quarter mile of Bro, we get within a quarter mile of that farm that farm that farm and the rain just stops. It's like we we and the rain just stops. It's like we we and the rain just stops. It's like we we went through like a Hollywood set of the went through like a Hollywood set of the went through like a Hollywood set of the rain machine just turned off. And she's rain machine just turned off. And she's rain machine just turned off. And she's like, "We're not home yet." Right? And like, "We're not home yet." Right? And like, "We're not home yet." Right? And we pull in there and Willis is just we pull in there and Willis is just we pull in there and Willis is just standing there with his arms crossed standing there with his arms crossed standing there with his arms crossed knowing that I was about to hop out of knowing that I was about to hop out of knowing that I was about to hop out of that car and I went running up to him that car and I went running up to him that car and I went running up to him and he's like, "There was dew on my and he's like, "There was dew on my and he's like, "There was dew on my boots." And and and I tell that story, boots." And and and I tell that story, boots." And and and I tell that story, Carey, because like that just the way Carey, because like that just the way Carey, because like that just the way that they trusted their gut, the way that they trusted their gut, the way that they trusted their gut, the way that they trusted their intuition, these that they trusted their intuition, these that they trusted their intuition, these screens, this goes back to knowledge, screens, this goes back to knowledge, screens, this goes back to knowledge, right? These screens take have taken right? These screens take have taken right? These screens take have taken away our gut. They've taken away our away our gut. They've taken away our away our gut. They've taken away our ability to navigate life situations just ability to navigate life situations just ability to navigate life situations just just through feeling it, right? I the just through feeling it, right? I the just through feeling it, right? I the amount of times I got lost, they they'd amount of times I got lost, they they'd amount of times I got lost, they they'd put me on an e-bike and Willis is like, put me on an e-bike and Willis is like, put me on an e-bike and Willis is like, "I need you to head to the feed store "I need you to head to the feed store "I need you to head to the feed store and pick something up for me." And he'd and pick something up for me." And he'd and pick something up for me." And he'd put a little trailer behind my e-bike put a little trailer behind my e-bike put a little trailer behind my e-bike and he'd tell me how to get there. and he'd tell me how to get there. and he'd tell me how to get there. And that's the only way I I knew how to And that's the only way I I knew how to And that's the only way I I knew how to get there. I have to remember. And then get there. I have to remember. And then get there. I have to remember. And then so I try to get there and I'd get lost. so I try to get there and I'd get lost. so I try to get there and I'd get lost. I didn't have Siri telling me where to I didn't have Siri telling me where to I didn't have Siri telling me where to go. And but when I'd get lost, I'd meet go. And but when I'd get lost, I'd meet go. And but when I'd get lost, I'd meet a stranger and I, you know, they'd tell a stranger and I, you know, they'd tell a stranger and I, you know, they'd tell me where to go and I made a new friend me where to go and I made a new friend me where to go and I made a new friend and you know, I just we don't even get and you know, I just we don't even get and you know, I just we don't even get lost and find our way anymore because we lost and find our way anymore because we lost and find our way anymore because we always have the answer in front of us.

always have the answer in front of us. always have the answer in front of us. When I think maybe a lot of times the When I think maybe a lot of times the When I think maybe a lot of times the answer's inside of us. Um and so yeah, answer's inside of us. Um and so yeah, answer's inside of us. Um and so yeah, we're just uh uh we don't trust our gut we're just uh uh we don't trust our gut we're just uh uh we don't trust our gut near as much as the Amish do. near as much as the Amish do. near as much as the Amish do. So, you're offline for 7 weeks. You fly So, you're offline for 7 weeks. You fly So, you're offline for 7 weeks. You fly back to see Dr. Amen and you get your back to see Dr. Amen and you get your back to see Dr. Amen and you get your second brain scan. second brain scan. second brain scan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to your brain in 7 weeks What happened to your brain in 7 weeks What happened to your brain in 7 weeks of digital detox? of digital detox? of digital detox? Yes. So, 7 weeks of digital detox, Yes. So, 7 weeks of digital detox, Yes. So, 7 weeks of digital detox, praying with the monks praying with the monks praying with the monks six times a day, working the land with six times a day, working the land with six times a day, working the land with the Amish. Um I say all those things the Amish. Um I say all those things the Amish. Um I say all those things because who knows why my brain changed? because who knows why my brain changed? because who knows why my brain changed? It It could have been a thousand It It could have been a thousand It It could have been a thousand different things, right? But I know I different things, right? But I know I different things, right? But I know I didn't look at a phone for seven I didn't look at a phone for seven I didn't look at a phone for seven I didn't look at a screen for 7 weeks. My didn't look at a screen for 7 weeks. My didn't look at a screen for 7 weeks. My brain got the lumpies went a little brain got the lumpies went a little brain got the lumpies went a little smoother, they got a little smoother. smoother, they got a little smoother. smoother, they got a little smoother. The uh my cerebellum, which is the The uh my cerebellum, which is the The uh my cerebellum, which is the largest part of your brain that holds largest part of your brain that holds largest part of your brain that holds the most neurons, um saw massive the most neurons, um saw massive the most neurons, um saw massive healing. Like like Dr. Amen made sure to healing. Like like Dr. Amen made sure to healing. Like like Dr. Amen made sure to say, "Carlos, like what I see in your say, "Carlos, like what I see in your say, "Carlos, like what I see in your cerebellum, the way it's firing, cerebellum, the way it's firing, cerebellum, the way it's firing, it's firing at a way greater rate than it's firing at a way greater rate than it's firing at a way greater rate than it was before you got here." Um, but the it was before you got here." Um, but the it was before you got here." Um, but the kicker, this is my favorite part, kicker, this is my favorite part, kicker, this is my favorite part, especially having a father with especially having a father with especially having a father with dementia, dementia, dementia, is that my cognitive memory score is that my cognitive memory score is that my cognitive memory score ended up being at the 99th percentile.

ended up being at the 99th percentile. ended up being at the 99th percentile. So, So, So, You went from 50 to 99. You went from 50 to 99. You went from 50 to 99. So, all of those tests that I was doing So, all of those tests that I was doing So, all of those tests that I was doing with faces and recognition and stuff, with faces and recognition and stuff, with faces and recognition and stuff, bro, my brain was firing. I was on it. bro, my brain was firing. I was on it. bro, my brain was firing. I was on it. And that's that's the kicker for me. And that's that's the kicker for me. And that's that's the kicker for me. That was that was the thing I I left That was that was the thing I I left That was that was the thing I I left with. Yes, my brain smoothed out. There with. Yes, my brain smoothed out. There with. Yes, my brain smoothed out. There was parts that were firing better. Um, was parts that were firing better. Um, was parts that were firing better. Um, and again, at the end of it it's like, and again, at the end of it it's like, and again, at the end of it it's like, who knows why who knows why who knows why it did it. Again, it wasn't a scientific it did it. Again, it wasn't a scientific it did it. Again, it wasn't a scientific study, but I know that it did change, study, but I know that it did change, study, but I know that it did change, and I know that my brain did change. And and I know that my brain did change. And and I know that my brain did change. And so, I've definitely um, taken that to so, I've definitely um, taken that to so, I've definitely um, taken that to heart and changed a lot of my habits. heart and changed a lot of my habits. heart and changed a lot of my habits. Yeah, let's talk about habit changes. Yeah, let's talk about habit changes. Yeah, let's talk about habit changes. What is different as a result? Because What is different as a result? Because What is different as a result? Because here we are here we are here we are recording a podcast on Riverside. You recording a podcast on Riverside. You recording a podcast on Riverside. You have headphones, microphone, you know, have headphones, microphone, you know, have headphones, microphone, you know, we were texting, emailing back and forth we were texting, emailing back and forth we were texting, emailing back and forth getting ready for this day. You're getting ready for this day. You're getting ready for this day. You're you're back on TikTok and Instagram. you're back on TikTok and Instagram. you're back on TikTok and Instagram. What's different? What's different? What's different? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What I haven't done is made a bunch of What I haven't done is made a bunch of What I haven't done is made a bunch of rules rules rules Okay. Okay. Okay. on phone use. Okay, so that's the first on phone use. Okay, so that's the first on phone use. Okay, so that's the first thing people need to know. Like, that thing people need to know. Like, that thing people need to know. Like, that it's not like, okay, I'm only going to it's not like, okay, I'm only going to it's not like, okay, I'm only going to have screen time for from 3:00 to 5:00, have screen time for from 3:00 to 5:00, have screen time for from 3:00 to 5:00, yada yada yada. No. What I have done yada yada yada. No. What I have done yada yada yada. No. What I have done is applied all the things that made me is applied all the things that made me is applied all the things that made me fall in love with living without my fall in love with living without my fall in love with living without my phone again. So, I tell people all the phone again. So, I tell people all the phone again. So, I tell people all the time, this book's not about a bad phone, time, this book's not about a bad phone, time, this book's not about a bad phone, the book's about about what's beautiful the book's about about what's beautiful the book's about about what's beautiful on the other side of the phone. So, a on the other side of the phone. So, a on the other side of the phone. So, a couple things. First thing is couple things. First thing is couple things. First thing is um, um, um, I let myself wonder a lot more before I I let myself wonder a lot more before I I let myself wonder a lot more before I go finding the answer for things.

go finding the answer for things. go finding the answer for things. Um, when people say, I wonder, if you're Um, when people say, I wonder, if you're Um, when people say, I wonder, if you're in a group in with friends at lunch and in a group in with friends at lunch and in a group in with friends at lunch and someone says, I wonder what happened? someone says, I wonder what happened? someone says, I wonder what happened? Immediately what happens Immediately what happens Immediately what happens is we grab our phones and we kill the is we grab our phones and we kill the is we grab our phones and we kill the wonder. So, wonder is over. But, as both wonder. So, wonder is over. But, as both wonder. So, wonder is over. But, as both of you and I remember living in the '90s of you and I remember living in the '90s of you and I remember living in the '90s and the '80s, we just had to wonder a and the '80s, we just had to wonder a and the '80s, we just had to wonder a lot about this. lot about this. lot about this. didn't know. didn't know. didn't know. We just didn't know, We just didn't know, We just didn't know, you know? you know? you know? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And so, now I no longer go looking for And so, now I no longer go looking for And so, now I no longer go looking for answers answers answers um to questions that I have. Lit- I'm um to questions that I have. Lit- I'm um to questions that I have. Lit- I'm literally just like People hate it when literally just like People hate it when literally just like People hate it when they're with me and they're like, "I they're with me and they're like, "I they're with me and they're like, "I wonder" and they pull their phone up. wonder" and they pull their phone up. wonder" and they pull their phone up. I'm like, "Nope. We're just going to I'm like, "Nope. We're just going to I'm like, "Nope. We're just going to wonder. Because remember, wondering wonder. Because remember, wondering wonder. Because remember, wondering isn't asking the question. Wondering is isn't asking the question. Wondering is isn't asking the question. Wondering is what happens after you ask the question. what happens after you ask the question. what happens after you ask the question. So, like let yourself wonder a lot more. So, like let yourself wonder a lot more. So, like let yourself wonder a lot more. That's one thing I do. Um I do that That's one thing I do. Um I do that That's one thing I do. Um I do that And these are simple things. Like I I no And these are simple things. Like I I no And these are simple things. Like I I no longer use Siri uh to get me from point longer use Siri uh to get me from point longer use Siri uh to get me from point A to point B. I legitimately, it's like A to point B. I legitimately, it's like A to point B. I legitimately, it's like again, 1997 again, like MapQuest. again, 1997 again, like MapQuest. again, 1997 again, like MapQuest. I write the directions out before I go I write the directions out before I go I write the directions out before I go somewhere. somewhere. somewhere. And I just use that to find my way. And I just use that to find my way. And I just use that to find my way. There's studies that show uh there's cab There's studies that show uh there's cab There's studies that show uh there's cab drivers that don't use GPS. And and drivers that don't use GPS. And and drivers that don't use GPS. And and these cab drivers that use their brains these cab drivers that use their brains these cab drivers that use their brains instead of GPS, like literally instead of GPS, like literally instead of GPS, like literally comparatively speaking, the studies show comparatively speaking, the studies show comparatively speaking, the studies show that the GPS drivers, like parts of that the GPS drivers, like parts of that the GPS drivers, like parts of their brain are dying, you know? And so, their brain are dying, you know? And so, their brain are dying, you know? And so, I'm like, "What can I do to keep my I'm like, "What can I do to keep my I'm like, "What can I do to keep my brain?" That study's in the book. "To brain?" That study's in the book. "To brain?" That study's in the book. "To keep my brain firing." What what can I keep my brain firing." What what can I keep my brain firing." What what can I do? So, that's another thing I do is I I do? So, that's another thing I do is I I do? So, that's another thing I do is I I I just kind of find my way and I get I just kind of find my way and I get I just kind of find my way and I get lost all the time. And guess what? Yes, lost all the time. And guess what? Yes, lost all the time. And guess what? Yes, it may take me 20 more minutes to get it may take me 20 more minutes to get it may take me 20 more minutes to get somewhere because I hit traffic and Siri somewhere because I hit traffic and Siri somewhere because I hit traffic and Siri didn't tell me to avoid the traffic.

didn't tell me to avoid the traffic. didn't tell me to avoid the traffic. Guess what? I get to sit and wonder a Guess what? I get to sit and wonder a Guess what? I get to sit and wonder a little bit more. little bit more. little bit more. I got a son who does that. Just ditches I got a son who does that. Just ditches I got a son who does that. Just ditches Google Maps and he's like, "I'm going to Google Maps and he's like, "I'm going to Google Maps and he's like, "I'm going to use a map. I'm going to figure this out. use a map. I'm going to figure this out. use a map. I'm going to figure this out. Yeah. We're going to go analog, which is Yeah. We're going to go analog, which is Yeah. We're going to go analog, which is amazing." Did you know I I found this amazing." Did you know I I found this amazing." Did you know I I found this out earlier this year? out earlier this year? out earlier this year? There's something in England called the There's something in England called the There's something in England called the knowledge. If you're a London cabby, knowledge. If you're a London cabby, knowledge. If you're a London cabby, Okay. Okay. Okay. you have to study. It takes anyone 3 to you have to study. It takes anyone 3 to you have to study. It takes anyone 3 to 10 years to pass this test. It's all 10 years to pass this test. It's all 10 years to pass this test. It's all regulated. But basically, you have to regulated. But basically, you have to regulated. But basically, you have to know It's ridiculous. I don't have the know It's ridiculous. I don't have the know It's ridiculous. I don't have the numbers, but it's like 30,000 roads and numbers, but it's like 30,000 roads and numbers, but it's like 30,000 roads and 10,000 points of interest by memory. 10,000 points of interest by memory. 10,000 points of interest by memory. Yeah. And be able to get anybody there Yeah. And be able to get anybody there Yeah. And be able to get anybody there from any point in the city from any point in the city from any point in the city That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. problem. You have to learn the problem. You have to learn the problem. You have to learn the knowledge. And these guys and women work knowledge. And these guys and women work knowledge. And these guys and women work at it at it at it Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so hard. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Cuz half the time, you know, you're in Cuz half the time, you know, you're in Cuz half the time, you know, you're in with an Uber driver and you hope they've with an Uber driver and you hope they've with an Uber driver and you hope they've got the right address. But if they blow got the right address. But if they blow got the right address. But if they blow that, they don't know where they are or that, they don't know where they are or that, they don't know where they are or whatever. But I thought that was the whatever. But I thought that was the whatever. But I thought that was the coolest thing, like the knowledge.

coolest thing, like the knowledge. coolest thing, like the knowledge. For London cabbies. For London cabbies. For London cabbies. So good. I love that, the knowledge. And So good. I love that, the knowledge. And So good. I love that, the knowledge. And again, what I love about that is that's again, what I love about that is that's again, what I love about that is that's proof in the pudding that knowledge proof in the pudding that knowledge proof in the pudding that knowledge isn't bad. Right? Like like like like isn't bad. Right? Like like like like isn't bad. Right? Like like like like knowing things isn't bad, but but what knowing things isn't bad, but but what knowing things isn't bad, but but what we do with it What what do what do we do we do with it What what do what do we do we do with it What what do what do we do with it? How much is of it are we, you with it? How much is of it are we, you with it? How much is of it are we, you know, accessing? I love that. I I think know, accessing? I love that. I I think know, accessing? I love that. I I think that's great. So I get lost a lot. You that's great. So I get lost a lot. You that's great. So I get lost a lot. You know, maybe I'm learning the knowledge know, maybe I'm learning the knowledge know, maybe I'm learning the knowledge of Nashville, right? I'm trying to of Nashville, right? I'm trying to of Nashville, right? I'm trying to figure that out myself. Um like real figure that out myself. Um like real figure that out myself. Um like real quickly, like my morning routine has quickly, like my morning routine has quickly, like my morning routine has changed dramatically. Like I it's My changed dramatically. Like I it's My changed dramatically. Like I it's My mornings feel a lot like they did at the mornings feel a lot like they did at the mornings feel a lot like they did at the Amish and with the the monks. Amish and with the the monks. Amish and with the the monks. Um Um Um So I no longer plug my phone in next to So I no longer plug my phone in next to So I no longer plug my phone in next to my bed. Um I I I charge it in the my bed. Um I I I charge it in the my bed. Um I I I charge it in the kitchen. And again, more studies that I kitchen. And again, more studies that I kitchen. And again, more studies that I found show that the last 15 minutes you found show that the last 15 minutes you found show that the last 15 minutes you you before you fall asleep and the first you before you fall asleep and the first you before you fall asleep and the first 15 minutes you wake up because we have 15 minutes you wake up because we have 15 minutes you wake up because we have our phones with us, we're consuming our phones with us, we're consuming our phones with us, we're consuming content at a rate that like generations content at a rate that like generations content at a rate that like generations before us would consume in a month. We before us would consume in a month. We before us would consume in a month. We we'll do that like in an hour, right? So we'll do that like in an hour, right? So we'll do that like in an hour, right? So I bought an alarm clock from Target and I bought an alarm clock from Target and I bought an alarm clock from Target and I've got an alarm clock next to my bed. I've got an alarm clock next to my bed. I've got an alarm clock next to my bed. And literally just goes beep beep beep And literally just goes beep beep beep And literally just goes beep beep beep beep beep. When it wakes me up in the beep beep. When it wakes me up in the beep beep. When it wakes me up in the morning, I don't pick it up, Carey. I morning, I don't pick it up, Carey. I morning, I don't pick it up, Carey. I don't start don't start don't start touching its face and touching its face and touching its face and and rubbing it and like it doesn't make and rubbing it and like it doesn't make and rubbing it and like it doesn't make me angry or stressed out by me angry or stressed out by me angry or stressed out by notifications. It just wakes me up. Then notifications. It just wakes me up. Then notifications. It just wakes me up. Then I leave and I and again, I don't even I leave and I and again, I don't even I leave and I and again, I don't even look at my phone. So the first hour I'm look at my phone. So the first hour I'm look at my phone. So the first hour I'm awake, I don't look at my phone. And I awake, I don't look at my phone. And I awake, I don't look at my phone. And I go and I make my cup of coffee.

go and I make my cup of coffee. go and I make my cup of coffee. And I just drink my coffee. I I I I And I just drink my coffee. I I I I And I just drink my coffee. I I I I don't drink my coffee and scroll Twitter don't drink my coffee and scroll Twitter don't drink my coffee and scroll Twitter or X, showing my age. I I I just drink or X, showing my age. I I I just drink or X, showing my age. I I I just drink my coffee. And can I tell you, my coffee. And can I tell you, my coffee. And can I tell you, there's a whole chapter on savoring, the there's a whole chapter on savoring, the there's a whole chapter on savoring, the coffee just tastes better when you're coffee just tastes better when you're coffee just tastes better when you're not doing something else. And here's not doing something else. And here's not doing something else. And here's another kicker. another kicker. another kicker. My morning routine continues. I love the My morning routine continues. I love the My morning routine continues. I love the news. People know that I love to talk news. People know that I love to talk news. People know that I love to talk about the news. I love to talk about about the news. I love to talk about about the news. I love to talk about world views. world views. world views. I've deleted all the news apps off my I've deleted all the news apps off my I've deleted all the news apps off my phone. I've deleted X off my phone. phone. I've deleted X off my phone. phone. I've deleted X off my phone. Um and I've subscribed to this thing Um and I've subscribed to this thing Um and I've subscribed to this thing called a news paper. called a news paper. called a news paper. And I wake up every morning and just And I wake up every morning and just And I wake up every morning and just like Leave It to Beaver's dad, I walk like Leave It to Beaver's dad, I walk like Leave It to Beaver's dad, I walk out on my front porch with my coffee. out on my front porch with my coffee. out on my front porch with my coffee. And I don't know who throws it in my And I don't know who throws it in my And I don't know who throws it in my yard, at what time they throw it in, but yard, at what time they throw it in, but yard, at what time they throw it in, but every morning I show up and there's every morning I show up and there's every morning I show up and there's another newspaper in my yard. And then I another newspaper in my yard. And then I another newspaper in my yard. And then I grab the paper and I read the paper. And grab the paper and I read the paper. And grab the paper and I read the paper. And guess what? guess what? guess what? If something else happens on planet If something else happens on planet If something else happens on planet Earth between Earth between Earth between 8:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and 8:00 8:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and 8:00 8:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and 8:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I'll find a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I'll find a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I'll find out the next day.

out the next day. out the next day. I don't need to know all the time. So I don't need to know all the time. So I don't need to know all the time. So these are like just some little things these are like just some little things these are like just some little things that I've implemented on How do I slow that I've implemented on How do I slow that I've implemented on How do I slow down? How do I savor? How do I use my down? How do I savor? How do I use my down? How do I savor? How do I use my gut? How am I How do I start doing the gut? How am I How do I start doing the gut? How am I How do I start doing the things that we were created to do before things that we were created to do before things that we were created to do before these phones while still using my phone these phones while still using my phone these phones while still using my phone to do amazing things. The phone's not to do amazing things. The phone's not to do amazing things. The phone's not bad, it's just beautiful on the other bad, it's just beautiful on the other bad, it's just beautiful on the other side. side. side. So if I were to put Heather or one of So if I were to put Heather or one of So if I were to put Heather or one of your kids on right now, what would they your kids on right now, what would they your kids on right now, what would they say is different about you? say is different about you? say is different about you? Presence. Presence. Presence. Presence. I I am Presence. I I am Presence. I I am I am and especially my friends, I think. I am and especially my friends, I think. I am and especially my friends, I think. Um Um Um I think that was the most noticeable. I think that was the most noticeable. I think that was the most noticeable. I've always tried to be more present I've always tried to be more present I've always tried to be more present with my family. But man, I just was a with my family. But man, I just was a with my family. But man, I just was a bad friend. bad friend. bad friend. I just I just I just um um um I'm present a lot more I'm present a lot more I'm present a lot more with the people that I love. And that's with the people that I love. And that's with the people that I love. And that's what they'd say. They you know, and I what they'd say. They you know, and I what they'd say. They you know, and I what they would also say is that their what they would also say is that their what they would also say is that their screen time, the ones that live with me screen time, the ones that live with me screen time, the ones that live with me currently, has actually shifted because currently, has actually shifted because currently, has actually shifted because of simply what they've seen in me. I've of simply what they've seen in me. I've of simply what they've seen in me. I've not I've not created rules. I've not not I've not created rules. I've not not I've not created rules. I've not created anything, but when you're not on created anything, but when you're not on created anything, but when you're not on your screen your screen your screen and you're talking to somebody, I I and you're talking to somebody, I I and you're talking to somebody, I I promise you they're not going to get promise you they're not going to get promise you they're not going to get beyond their screen either. And so beyond their screen either. And so beyond their screen either. And so they've just they they've just kind of they've just they they've just kind of they've just they they've just kind of caught a lot of these things um caught a lot of these things um caught a lot of these things um because there's just a lot less of it because there's just a lot less of it because there's just a lot less of it going on. And so I think that's what going on. And so I think that's what going on. And so I think that's what they'd say.

they'd say. they'd say. Because your life is online like a lot Because your life is online like a lot Because your life is online like a lot of our lives, our ministry's online, our of our lives, our ministry's online, our of our lives, our ministry's online, our business is online. Have you made shifts business is online. Have you made shifts business is online. Have you made shifts in your business model at all or any in your business model at all or any in your business model at all or any approach that you have to your quote approach that you have to your quote approach that you have to your quote work? work? work? Yeah, I think oh wow, that's a great Yeah, I think oh wow, that's a great Yeah, I think oh wow, that's a great question. Um well, I mean my again my question. Um well, I mean my again my question. Um well, I mean my again my screen time is only now 3 and 1/2 hours screen time is only now 3 and 1/2 hours screen time is only now 3 and 1/2 hours a day. It was 7 and 1/2 hours a day. So a day. It was 7 and 1/2 hours a day. So a day. It was 7 and 1/2 hours a day. So half. half. half. I mean yeah, more than half now. Like I mean yeah, more than half now. Like I mean yeah, more than half now. Like it's gone, right? And so I'm very it's gone, right? And so I'm very it's gone, right? And so I'm very strategic with with when I am on my strategic with with when I am on my strategic with with when I am on my phone. Like there's there's thought phone. Like there's there's thought phone. Like there's there's thought process that goes on. Okay, I'm I've got process that goes on. Okay, I'm I've got process that goes on. Okay, I'm I've got to make a reel. I've got to make this to make a reel. I've got to make this to make a reel. I've got to make this video. How am I going to research? I've video. How am I going to research? I've video. How am I going to research? I've got my assistant researching something got my assistant researching something got my assistant researching something I'm going to do because I want to talk I'm going to do because I want to talk I'm going to do because I want to talk about it. So instead of me kind of doing about it. So instead of me kind of doing about it. So instead of me kind of doing a lot of the research, you know, I I a lot of the research, you know, I I a lot of the research, you know, I I have her do that research. And so I I have her do that research. And so I I have her do that research. And so I I have shifted and adjusted things. Um I'm have shifted and adjusted things. Um I'm have shifted and adjusted things. Um I'm not really on Instagram on the weekends not really on Instagram on the weekends not really on Instagram on the weekends anymore. Um I'm not you know, putting anymore. Um I'm not you know, putting anymore. Um I'm not you know, putting out content on the weekends anymore. And out content on the weekends anymore. And out content on the weekends anymore. And so it's I think it's just gotten a lot so it's I think it's just gotten a lot so it's I think it's just gotten a lot sharper, um a lot more pointed, a lot sharper, um a lot more pointed, a lot sharper, um a lot more pointed, a lot more purposeful uh in everything that more purposeful uh in everything that more purposeful uh in everything that I'm doing. So there hasn't necessarily I'm doing. So there hasn't necessarily I'm doing. So there hasn't necessarily been shifts in as far as like strategy, been shifts in as far as like strategy, been shifts in as far as like strategy, as far as you know, cuz again I'm still as far as you know, cuz again I'm still as far as you know, cuz again I'm still talking to my phone and hoping that talking to my phone and hoping that talking to my phone and hoping that people not only listen to what I say on people not only listen to what I say on people not only listen to what I say on their phones, but then share what I'm their phones, but then share what I'm their phones, but then share what I'm saying so other people can hear it on saying so other people can hear it on saying so other people can hear it on their phones, right? So like um am I their phones, right? So like um am I their phones, right? So like um am I part of the problem? Am I part of the part of the problem? Am I part of the part of the problem? Am I part of the you know, these are questions that I'm you know, these are questions that I'm you know, these are questions that I'm constantly asking myself. Um people are constantly asking myself. Um people are constantly asking myself. Um people are like, well, you're writing phone about like, well, you're writing phone about like, well, you're writing phone about or you're writing a book about not being or you're writing a book about not being or you're writing a book about not being on your phone, but then I'm listening to on your phone, but then I'm listening to on your phone, but then I'm listening to it on my phone, you know, all the all it on my phone, you know, all the all it on my phone, you know, all the all these things, right? That these things, right? That these things, right? That Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. These are great questions to ask. Um but These are great questions to ask. Um but These are great questions to ask. Um but but I have changed dramatically the but I have changed dramatically the but I have changed dramatically the amount of time I'm on my phone. amount of time I'm on my phone. amount of time I'm on my phone. Which has in turned I think I think it Which has in turned I think I think it Which has in turned I think I think it has shifted a lot a little bit of my has shifted a lot a little bit of my has shifted a lot a little bit of my business. Um probably taking a little business. Um probably taking a little business. Um probably taking a little bit of it away bit of it away bit of it away to be fair. But uh it's it's all good to be fair. But uh it's it's all good to be fair. But uh it's it's all good man. I'm just so much more present with man. I'm just so much more present with man. I'm just so much more present with with the people around me. with the people around me. with the people around me. Oh it boils down to what you really Oh it boils down to what you really Oh it boils down to what you really value at the end of the day, right? Like value at the end of the day, right? Like value at the end of the day, right? Like how do you keep score? Um so this is not how do you keep score? Um so this is not how do you keep score? Um so this is not just a book called Reconnected. You're just a book called Reconnected. You're just a book called Reconnected. You're making it into a documentary. So you're making it into a documentary. So you're making it into a documentary. So you're you're off technology for 7 weeks except you're off technology for 7 weeks except you're off technology for 7 weeks except for for for Yeah, I I took a camera with me. So it Yeah, I I took a camera with me. So it Yeah, I I took a camera with me. So it was 7 weeks without a screen. was 7 weeks without a screen. was 7 weeks without a screen. And you know when I when I said I'm And you know when I when I said I'm And you know when I when I said I'm making a docu- documentary it was so making a docu- documentary it was so making a docu- documentary it was so funny because people in the comments funny because people in the comments funny because people in the comments were like, how did you make a were like, how did you make a were like, how did you make a documentary without a phone? I don't documentary without a phone? I don't documentary without a phone? I don't understand. And I was like, wow, isn't understand. And I was like, wow, isn't understand. And I was like, wow, isn't this crazy that we have actually this crazy that we have actually this crazy that we have actually forgotten what a camera is? Like people forgotten what a camera is? Like people forgotten what a camera is? Like people have forgotten that you can have a have forgotten that you can have a have forgotten that you can have a camera separate from a phone, right?

camera separate from a phone, right? camera separate from a phone, right? Separate from an content device. Um and Separate from an content device. Um and Separate from an content device. Um and so I took a little Sony camera with me so I took a little Sony camera with me so I took a little Sony camera with me and um kind of set it up every single and um kind of set it up every single and um kind of set it up every single night and I'd talk to the lens and I'd night and I'd talk to the lens and I'd night and I'd talk to the lens and I'd cry. And I I did it because I wanted to cry. And I I did it because I wanted to cry. And I I did it because I wanted to remember as I was writing the book, I'd remember as I was writing the book, I'd remember as I was writing the book, I'd just watch my videos and so that's what just watch my videos and so that's what just watch my videos and so that's what I did. I got home and I'd watch myself I did. I got home and I'd watch myself I did. I got home and I'd watch myself day 27. This is what I did and I was day 27. This is what I did and I was day 27. This is what I did and I was like, oh okay. So that helped me as I like, oh okay. So that helped me as I like, oh okay. So that helped me as I was writing the book. But then I was writing the book. But then I was writing the book. But then I realized I just had a lot more footage realized I just had a lot more footage realized I just had a lot more footage than I expected. And so I gave the my than I expected. And so I gave the my than I expected. And so I gave the my little a couple there's probably six SD little a couple there's probably six SD little a couple there's probably six SD cards to a filmmaker friend of mine and cards to a filmmaker friend of mine and cards to a filmmaker friend of mine and I said, hey, do you think I have I said, hey, do you think I have I said, hey, do you think I have something for like a like a 20-minute something for like a like a 20-minute something for like a like a 20-minute YouTube short or something? And he's YouTube short or something? And he's YouTube short or something? And he's like, man, after he watched it he's like, man, after he watched it he's like, man, after he watched it he's like, I think I think we've got a whole like, I think I think we've got a whole like, I think I think we've got a whole thing here, like a whole documentary. thing here, like a whole documentary. thing here, like a whole documentary. And I was like, really? So I gave And I was like, really? So I gave And I was like, really? So I gave creative license to my friend creative license to my friend creative license to my friend Hodges. And bro, it it actually has been Hodges. And bro, it it actually has been Hodges. And bro, it it actually has been a very fascinating experiment to see a very fascinating experiment to see a very fascinating experiment to see that something that I filmed all myself that something that I filmed all myself that something that I filmed all myself with on a phone in my or excuse me, on a with on a phone in my or excuse me, on a with on a phone in my or excuse me, on a camera in my hand, um you give that to camera in my hand, um you give that to camera in my hand, um you give that to somebody else and then they create a somebody else and then they create a somebody else and then they create a story arc based on your story without story arc based on your story without story arc based on your story without your input. It was the craziest thing your input. It was the craziest thing your input. It was the craziest thing ever. He set up a whole day of ever. He set up a whole day of ever. He set up a whole day of interviews for me. Um he interviewed me interviews for me. Um he interviewed me interviews for me. Um he interviewed me about things, and now that I've seen the about things, and now that I've seen the about things, and now that I've seen the finished product, or close to the finished product, or close to the finished product, or close to the finished product, it's really cool. So, finished product, it's really cool. So, finished product, it's really cool. So, again, it's a it's a documentary based again, it's a it's a documentary based again, it's a it's a documentary based on, you know, the book Reconnected, but on, you know, the book Reconnected, but on, you know, the book Reconnected, but the book's going to take you way deeper the book's going to take you way deeper the book's going to take you way deeper into the learnings. Uh the documentary, into the learnings. Uh the documentary, into the learnings. Uh the documentary, I think, is going to be a fun addition.

I think, is going to be a fun addition. I think, is going to be a fun addition. So, watch your channels to see if if and So, watch your channels to see if if and So, watch your channels to see if if and when when when Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Welcome to the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on YouTube. It's Carey here. So, Make sure you subscribe. For leaders who Make sure you subscribe. For leaders who are listening, incredible guests have are listening, incredible guests have are listening, incredible guests have come on to the channel today, Malcolm Gladwell, and a whole lot more. Malcolm Gladwell, and a whole lot more. Today, we're going to talk about Today, we're going to talk about Today, we're going to talk about becoming a monk and Amish. And so, And so, And so, we want to bless you. I'm doing And so, we want to bless you. I'm doing And so, we want to bless you. I'm doing That changed 5 years ago. Everything That changed 5 years ago. Everything That changed 5 years ago. Everything gets charged here in my office, gets charged here in my office, gets charged here in my office, I mean, two months ago. I mean, two months ago. I mean, two months ago. We've got We've got We've got You know, You know, You know, a big a big a big extra large. Okay. extra large. Okay. extra large. Okay. accessories accessories accessories steak delivery small small There you go. There you go. Just wake up There you go. There you go. Just wake up There you go. There you go. Just wake up and other uses. That's a and other uses. That's a and other uses. That's a So, if you enter, drop a comment So, if you enter, drop a comment So, if you enter, drop a comment that every moment from this podcast. And that every moment from this podcast. And that every moment from this podcast. And then, head over then, head over then, head over to see NLP.live, where you can register to see NLP.live, where you can register to see NLP.live, where you can register today. Get in.

today. Get in. today. Get in. chosen on September 26th. chosen on September 26th. chosen on September 26th. This is open to US and Canadian This is open to US and Canadian This is open to US and Canadian residents. Reconnect with this residents. Reconnect with this residents. Reconnect with this is brought to you is brought to you is brought to you Upward Sports. They are the world's Upward Sports. They are the world's Upward Sports. They are the world's largest Christian youth sports largest Christian youth sports largest Christian youth sports organization. And they want to support organization. And they want to support organization. And they want to support your churches' ministries through sports your churches' ministries through sports your churches' ministries through sports through sports. And just live Go to through sports. And just live Go to through sports. And just live Go to Upward dot org slash Carey to learn Upward dot org slash Carey to learn Upward dot org slash Carey to learn more. And Glue is launching a new AI more. And Glue is launching a new AI more. And Glue is launching a new AI search and chat search and chat search and chat tool similar to ChatGPT, but it's based tool similar to ChatGPT, but it's based tool similar to ChatGPT, but it's based on Christian perspectives and Christian on Christian perspectives and Christian on Christian perspectives and Christian principles. If you're interested, principles. If you're interested, principles. If you're interested, pre-register for this brand new tool at pre-register for this brand new tool at pre-register for this brand new tool at ai.we.us ai.we.us ai.we.us uh / amount. And now, my conversation uh / amount. And now, my conversation uh / amount. And now, my conversation with Carlos Whittaker. with Carlos Whittaker. with Carlos Whittaker. leader that's listening to this that all leader that's listening to this that all leader that's listening to this that all of the things that I fell back in love of the things that I fell back in love of the things that I fell back in love with savoring, um with savoring, um with savoring, um noticing, uh solitude, all of these noticing, uh solitude, all of these noticing, uh solitude, all of these things like it's they're they make me a things like it's they're they make me a things like it's they're they make me a way better person than anything on my way better person than anything on my way better person than anything on my phone does. And so, since I've fallen phone does. And so, since I've fallen phone does. And so, since I've fallen back in love with those things, I just back in love with those things, I just back in love with those things, I just pick up my phone less. And so, that pick up my phone less. And so, that pick up my phone less. And so, that that's really how my screen time has that's really how my screen time has that's really how my screen time has gone down is because I'm just like gone down is because I'm just like gone down is because I'm just like I'm I'm falling back in love with being I'm I'm falling back in love with being I'm I'm falling back in love with being human again on the other side of the human again on the other side of the human again on the other side of the screen. So, I I do believe, you know, screen. So, I I do believe, you know, screen. So, I I do believe, you know, the book is going to be very helpful.

the book is going to be very helpful. the book is going to be very helpful. There's a lot of handlebars uh that There's a lot of handlebars uh that There's a lot of handlebars uh that people are going to be able to apply to people are going to be able to apply to people are going to be able to apply to their lives right now to where they their lives right now to where they their lives right now to where they don't have to go to 7 Weeks uh at a don't have to go to 7 Weeks uh at a don't have to go to 7 Weeks uh at a monastery or an Amish farm. I did it for monastery or an Amish farm. I did it for monastery or an Amish farm. I did it for you, and just let Carlos help you on the you, and just let Carlos help you on the you, and just let Carlos help you on the way. way. way. Carlos, thank you so much. So, book is Carlos, thank you so much. So, book is Carlos, thank you so much. So, book is called Reconnected. It's out everywhere. called Reconnected. It's out everywhere. called Reconnected. It's out everywhere. People want to find you. Uh TikTok, People want to find you. Uh TikTok, People want to find you. Uh TikTok, Instagram. Uh what's your handle there? Instagram. Uh what's your handle there? Instagram. Uh what's your handle there? Yeah, yeah. Los Whit, l o s w h i t on Yeah, yeah. Los Whit, l o s w h i t on Yeah, yeah. Los Whit, l o s w h i t on Instagram. Um I always tell people Instagram. Um I always tell people Instagram. Um I always tell people Twitter, Carlos, is like Dr. Jekyll and Twitter, Carlos, is like Dr. Jekyll and Twitter, Carlos, is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on Instagram. You want to see Mr. Hyde on Instagram. You want to see Mr. Hyde on Instagram. You want to see me grumpy, head over to Twitter or X. me grumpy, head over to Twitter or X. me grumpy, head over to Twitter or X. You want to see me happy, head over to You want to see me happy, head over to You want to see me happy, head over to Instagram. Um and that that's where I Instagram. Um and that that's where I Instagram. Um and that that's where I can hang out with you. can hang out with you. can hang out with you. Awesome. Carlos, thank you so much, man. Awesome. Carlos, thank you so much, man. Awesome. Carlos, thank you so much, man. Thanks, buddy.