Pastor Trap: When Everyone Loves You But Nothing's Growing

Do you ever notice there are two common Do you ever notice there are two common leadership styles? There are people leadership styles? There are people leadership styles? There are people focused leaders, great with people, not focused leaders, great with people, not focused leaders, great with people, not so great with results and result focused so great with results and result focused so great with results and result focused leaders achieve excellence but often leaders achieve excellence but often leaders achieve excellence but often they leave a lot of casualties. You know they leave a lot of casualties. You know they leave a lot of casualties. You know what? There's a better approach you can what? There's a better approach you can what? There's a better approach you can take that values both. So I want to look take that values both. So I want to look take that values both. So I want to look at three keys to leading in a way that at three keys to leading in a way that at three keys to leading in a way that values both relationship and results. Let's start with the people focused Let's start with the people focused leader. Okay. See if you recognize leader. Okay. See if you recognize leader. Okay. See if you recognize yourself or maybe some people you work yourself or maybe some people you work yourself or maybe some people you work with in this. Wonderful people, but with in this. Wonderful people, but with in this. Wonderful people, but their organizations, their churches, their organizations, their churches, their organizations, their churches, their companies, they just don't produce their companies, they just don't produce their companies, they just don't produce great results. There's very little great results. There's very little great results. There's very little accountability. Kind of a general drift. accountability. Kind of a general drift. accountability. Kind of a general drift. It's like, ah, we got close or you know It's like, ah, we got close or you know It's like, ah, we got close or you know what, everyone's happy, so we're good. what, everyone's happy, so we're good. what, everyone's happy, so we're good. Poor metrics. They might even say, well, Poor metrics. They might even say, well, Poor metrics. They might even say, well, you know, attendance isn't everything. you know, attendance isn't everything. you know, attendance isn't everything. deadlines mean almost nothing to them, deadlines mean almost nothing to them, deadlines mean almost nothing to them, right? It's like, well, you tried hard right? It's like, well, you tried hard right? It's like, well, you tried hard and basically their work quality is and basically their work quality is and basically their work quality is mediocre. Now, the thing about people mediocre. Now, the thing about people mediocre. Now, the thing about people focused leaders is people enjoy being focused leaders is people enjoy being focused leaders is people enjoy being together, but there's no growth. And together, but there's no growth. And together, but there's no growth. And when that happens, here are the when that happens, here are the when that happens, here are the long-term challenges. If you're just long-term challenges. If you're just long-term challenges. If you're just people focused, but you ignore results, people focused, but you ignore results, people focused, but you ignore results, you don't really get a lot of new people you don't really get a lot of new people you don't really get a lot of new people joining because, quote, "The party isn't joining because, quote, "The party isn't joining because, quote, "The party isn't that great, right? It's not that that great, right? It's not that that great, right? It's not that awesome." You're certainly not going to awesome." You're certainly not going to awesome." You're certainly not going to attract high-capacity leaders and your attract high-capacity leaders and your attract high-capacity leaders and your church or organization is not going to church or organization is not going to church or organization is not going to make progress. Now, contrast that with make progress. Now, contrast that with make progress. Now, contrast that with the results focused leader. Naturally,

the results focused leader. Naturally, the results focused leader. Naturally, this is what I am. I am driven by this is what I am. I am driven by this is what I am. I am driven by outcomes and excellence. Any graph I see outcomes and excellence. Any graph I see outcomes and excellence. Any graph I see that has my name on it or is associated that has my name on it or is associated that has my name on it or is associated with it needs to go up into the right. with it needs to go up into the right. with it needs to go up into the right. They're they gain a reputation for They're they gain a reputation for They're they gain a reputation for quality. They can attract a really high quality. They can attract a really high quality. They can attract a really high capacity team with sharp thinkers, capacity team with sharp thinkers, capacity team with sharp thinkers, bright leaders. They want to crush it. bright leaders. They want to crush it. bright leaders. They want to crush it. Okay, they just want to crush it. That's Okay, they just want to crush it. That's Okay, they just want to crush it. That's what I do. But here's a shadow side. what I do. But here's a shadow side. what I do. But here's a shadow side. They lose people along the way. Looking They lose people along the way. Looking They lose people along the way. Looking back, I can see particularly in the back, I can see particularly in the back, I can see particularly in the early days of my leadership, there were early days of my leadership, there were early days of my leadership, there were just casualties everywhere. Staff just casualties everywhere. Staff just casualties everywhere. Staff turnover is high. Volunteers try, but turnover is high. Volunteers try, but turnover is high. Volunteers try, but eventually they step back because they eventually they step back because they eventually they step back because they can't keep up. I remember there was a can't keep up. I remember there was a can't keep up. I remember there was a season in our leadership where I didn't season in our leadership where I didn't season in our leadership where I didn't like using photos on our website that like using photos on our website that like using photos on our website that were more than 6 months old because it were more than 6 months old because it were more than 6 months old because it was like, "Oh, that guy left and that was like, "Oh, that guy left and that was like, "Oh, that guy left and that guy left and that guy left." That's what guy left and that guy left." That's what guy left and that guy left." That's what happens when you're results focused and happens when you're results focused and happens when you're results focused and you kind of ignore the human equation. you kind of ignore the human equation. you kind of ignore the human equation. And here's the problem. Even good And here's the problem. Even good And here's the problem. Even good motivated people can't keep up with the motivated people can't keep up with the motivated people can't keep up with the pace. And those who do stay sometimes pace. And those who do stay sometimes pace. And those who do stay sometimes are silently fearful and discouraged. So are silently fearful and discouraged. So are silently fearful and discouraged. So what's a better approach? Well, the what's a better approach? Well, the what's a better approach? Well, the better approach, believe it or not, is better approach, believe it or not, is better approach, believe it or not, is both have value. So you need to value both have value. So you need to value both have value. So you need to value both. And I think the future belongs to both. And I think the future belongs to both. And I think the future belongs to leaders who value both results and leaders who value both results and leaders who value both results and relationship. both have half of the relationship. both have half of the relationship. both have half of the truth. You put them together, you get a truth. You put them together, you get a truth. You put them together, you get a lot closer to the whole truth. There are lot closer to the whole truth. There are lot closer to the whole truth. There are no meaningful results without people.

no meaningful results without people. no meaningful results without people. The people are the point. People feel The people are the point. People feel The people are the point. People feel more alive when they're moving together, more alive when they're moving together, more alive when they're moving together, right? People love to be in community. right? People love to be in community. right? People love to be in community. Both a lack of care and a lack of Both a lack of care and a lack of Both a lack of care and a lack of progress though are demotivating. So, progress though are demotivating. So, progress though are demotivating. So, before we get into some key ideas, and I before we get into some key ideas, and I before we get into some key ideas, and I want to show you exactly how to do what want to show you exactly how to do what want to show you exactly how to do what we're talking about, how to put the two we're talking about, how to put the two we're talking about, how to put the two together. If you want to go deeper on together. If you want to go deeper on together. If you want to go deeper on how to lead people with both compassion how to lead people with both compassion how to lead people with both compassion and clarity, all my best material, and clarity, all my best material, and clarity, all my best material, including all the lessons I've learned including all the lessons I've learned including all the lessons I've learned and others have learned over the years and others have learned over the years and others have learned over the years is inside my private premier academy, is inside my private premier academy, is inside my private premier academy, the art of leadership academy. In the the art of leadership academy. In the the art of leadership academy. In the academy, you're going to get the exact academy, you're going to get the exact academy, you're going to get the exact strategies, tools, and skills that you strategies, tools, and skills that you strategies, tools, and skills that you need to build a healthy, high-erforming need to build a healthy, high-erforming need to build a healthy, high-erforming team. There's a full course actually on team. There's a full course actually on team. There's a full course actually on team leadership, plus workshops, team team leadership, plus workshops, team team leadership, plus workshops, team training, resources, and more. Check it training, resources, and more. Check it training, resources, and more. Check it out in the description below or go to out in the description below or go to out in the description below or go to the art of the art of the art of leadershipacademy.com. All right, let's leadershipacademy.com. All right, let's leadershipacademy.com. All right, let's dive in and let's go deeper. So, what do dive in and let's go deeper. So, what do dive in and let's go deeper. So, what do you do? Key number one, get over your you do? Key number one, get over your you do? Key number one, get over your false fears. Probably you have got some false fears. Probably you have got some false fears. Probably you have got some false fears, right? People focused false fears, right? People focused false fears, right? People focused leaders, what are you afraid of? You're leaders, what are you afraid of? You're leaders, what are you afraid of? You're probably afraid of becoming soulless probably afraid of becoming soulless probably afraid of becoming soulless task masters. Results focused leaders task masters. Results focused leaders task masters. Results focused leaders like me, what are we afraid of? We're like me, what are we afraid of? We're like me, what are we afraid of? We're afraid of slowing down progress, slowing afraid of slowing down progress, slowing afraid of slowing down progress, slowing down growth. people are getting going to down growth. people are getting going to down growth. people are getting going to get in the way of the mission, right?

get in the way of the mission, right? get in the way of the mission, right? Okay, that's what we're afraid of. Now, Okay, that's what we're afraid of. Now, Okay, that's what we're afraid of. Now, if you look at it the way we're looking if you look at it the way we're looking if you look at it the way we're looking at it in this video, both fears are at it in this video, both fears are at it in this video, both fears are false and both fears are limiting. The false and both fears are limiting. The false and both fears are limiting. The truth is you actually need both truth is you actually need both truth is you actually need both approaches, people and results to approaches, people and results to approaches, people and results to succeed. Key number two, you got to be succeed. Key number two, you got to be succeed. Key number two, you got to be easy on the person, tough on the issue. easy on the person, tough on the issue. easy on the person, tough on the issue. And this is what almost everybody gets And this is what almost everybody gets And this is what almost everybody gets wrong, right? People focus leaders, wrong, right? People focus leaders, wrong, right? People focus leaders, they're easy on the person. Oh, that's they're easy on the person. Oh, that's they're easy on the person. Oh, that's all right. It's fine. and it's just all right. It's fine. and it's just all right. It's fine. and it's just fine, even if it's not. And they let the fine, even if it's not. And they let the fine, even if it's not. And they let the standard slip. So, they're easy on the standard slip. So, they're easy on the standard slip. So, they're easy on the person, easy on the issue. Results person, easy on the issue. Results person, easy on the issue. Results focused leaders, tough on the person, focused leaders, tough on the person, focused leaders, tough on the person, tough on the issues. You didn't hit the tough on the issues. You didn't hit the tough on the issues. You didn't hit the metrics. You didn't do the job. We're metrics. You didn't do the job. We're metrics. You didn't do the job. We're not making enough progress. That creates not making enough progress. That creates not making enough progress. That creates turnover and a lot of bitterness of the turnover and a lot of bitterness of the turnover and a lot of bitterness of the process. What's a better approach? Easy process. What's a better approach? Easy process. What's a better approach? Easy on the person, tough on the issue. Go on the person, tough on the issue. Go on the person, tough on the issue. Go easy on the person. Be kind to the easy on the person. Be kind to the easy on the person. Be kind to the person. You know what? We're not going person. You know what? We're not going person. You know what? We're not going to attack people here. We're going to to attack people here. We're going to to attack people here. We're going to attack the problem. So, I know you did attack the problem. So, I know you did attack the problem. So, I know you did your best, but we fell short. Can we your best, but we fell short. Can we your best, but we fell short. Can we have a conversation about that? Great.

have a conversation about that? Great. have a conversation about that? Great. Okay, here we go. This is what we need Okay, here we go. This is what we need Okay, here we go. This is what we need to do next. So, you want to be easy on to do next. So, you want to be easy on to do next. So, you want to be easy on the person, tough on the issue. And the person, tough on the issue. And the person, tough on the issue. And what's the alternative? Well, being hard what's the alternative? Well, being hard what's the alternative? Well, being hard on people, as much as you might be on people, as much as you might be on people, as much as you might be frustrated, as much as you might think frustrated, as much as you might think frustrated, as much as you might think they're lazy or whatever, that rarely they're lazy or whatever, that rarely they're lazy or whatever, that rarely helps. Most people are actually quite helps. Most people are actually quite helps. Most people are actually quite insecure. They really are. They're insecure. They really are. They're insecure. They really are. They're insecure. And so you're going to play insecure. And so you're going to play insecure. And so you're going to play into that insecurity. They're not going into that insecurity. They're not going into that insecurity. They're not going to perform. They're going to get afraid to perform. They're going to get afraid to perform. They're going to get afraid even if they stick around and they don't even if they stick around and they don't even if they stick around and they don't quit. Being hard on people, that's not quit. Being hard on people, that's not quit. Being hard on people, that's not the way to live. And I've had to learn the way to live. And I've had to learn the way to live. And I've had to learn that the hard way. Now, the larger your that the hard way. Now, the larger your that the hard way. Now, the larger your organization gets too. This is what you organization gets too. This is what you organization gets too. This is what you have to remember. The more your whisper have to remember. The more your whisper have to remember. The more your whisper becomes a shout, right? If you're with becomes a shout, right? If you're with becomes a shout, right? If you're with five people, you're like, "We're all five people, you're like, "We're all five people, you're like, "We're all equal around here." You lead a large equal around here." You lead a large equal around here." You lead a large organization and you say, "You know organization and you say, "You know organization and you say, "You know what? That wasn't quite right." That can what? That wasn't quite right." That can what? That wasn't quite right." That can crush people. They might not sleep at crush people. They might not sleep at crush people. They might not sleep at night. they they might remember that 20 night. they they might remember that 20 night. they they might remember that 20 years later you've totally crushed them. years later you've totally crushed them. years later you've totally crushed them. The other thing about fear is that fear The other thing about fear is that fear The other thing about fear is that fear is a terrible motivator. What I've is a terrible motivator. What I've is a terrible motivator. What I've realized, nobody ever gets judged into realized, nobody ever gets judged into realized, nobody ever gets judged into life change. Nobody does. If you judge life change. Nobody does. If you judge life change. Nobody does. If you judge people, they're not changing. So, you people, they're not changing. So, you people, they're not changing. So, you know what you need to do? You need to know what you need to do? You need to know what you need to do? You need to hold both intention. All right? Maybe hold both intention. All right? Maybe hold both intention. All right? Maybe start by affirming what is good about start by affirming what is good about start by affirming what is good about the person. Man, you're making a the person. Man, you're making a the person. Man, you're making a valuable contribution here. I see your valuable contribution here. I see your valuable contribution here. I see your heart. I see your effort. Assume good heart. I see your effort. Assume good heart. I see your effort. Assume good motives. All right? If you're results motives. All right? If you're results motives. All right? If you're results driven, you can think everybody else is driven, you can think everybody else is driven, you can think everybody else is lazy. Everybody else is a deadbeat. No.

lazy. Everybody else is a deadbeat. No. lazy. Everybody else is a deadbeat. No. What you want to do is you want to What you want to do is you want to What you want to do is you want to assume the best. I see what you're assume the best. I see what you're assume the best. I see what you're trying to do here. I see what you're trying to do here. I see what you're trying to do here. I see what you're shooting for. And then what you want to shooting for. And then what you want to shooting for. And then what you want to do, get tough on the issue. Be specific do, get tough on the issue. Be specific do, get tough on the issue. Be specific about what's missing. Don't have a about what's missing. Don't have a about what's missing. Don't have a temper tantrum. Just go, you know, like temper tantrum. Just go, you know, like temper tantrum. Just go, you know, like that doesn't work. Don't speak in that doesn't work. Don't speak in that doesn't work. Don't speak in generality. Say, you know what? We generality. Say, you know what? We generality. Say, you know what? We needed this a day earlier. or what would needed this a day earlier. or what would needed this a day earlier. or what would have happened if you got that done, you have happened if you got that done, you have happened if you got that done, you know, handed it in 2 hours before it was know, handed it in 2 hours before it was know, handed it in 2 hours before it was due. What if you did this in the due. What if you did this in the due. What if you did this in the meeting? What if we set a target and we meeting? What if we set a target and we meeting? What if we set a target and we actually hit it? Okay. And then you want actually hit it? Okay. And then you want actually hit it? Okay. And then you want to ensure that people leave with their to ensure that people leave with their to ensure that people leave with their dignity. Maybe they colossally failed, dignity. Maybe they colossally failed, dignity. Maybe they colossally failed, but you don't have to berate them. You but you don't have to berate them. You but you don't have to berate them. You want to make sure that you've affirmed want to make sure that you've affirmed want to make sure that you've affirmed the person, attack the problem. Problems the person, attack the problem. Problems the person, attack the problem. Problems are great for attacking. People not so are great for attacking. People not so are great for attacking. People not so much. So now let's get granular. Okay. much. So now let's get granular. Okay. much. So now let's get granular. Okay. What is the perfect formula for What is the perfect formula for What is the perfect formula for one-on-one meetings? This is where one-on-one meetings? This is where one-on-one meetings? This is where you're eye to eye. You know, you never you're eye to eye. You know, you never you're eye to eye. You know, you never want to call somebody out in a group, want to call somebody out in a group, want to call somebody out in a group, but when you're meeting with them but when you're meeting with them but when you're meeting with them one-on-one, what do you do? Here's what one-on-one, what do you do? Here's what one-on-one, what do you do? Here's what I found. Ask them how they're doing I found. Ask them how they're doing I found. Ask them how they're doing before you ask them what they're doing.

before you ask them what they're doing. before you ask them what they're doing. This is going to be a huge shift for This is going to be a huge shift for This is going to be a huge shift for resultsoriented leaders because resultsoriented leaders because resultsoriented leaders because resultsoriented leaders usually only ask resultsoriented leaders usually only ask resultsoriented leaders usually only ask what people are doing. You start the what people are doing. You start the what people are doing. You start the meeting, it's like, "All right, great. meeting, it's like, "All right, great. meeting, it's like, "All right, great. Tell me how we're doing on this. What Tell me how we're doing on this. What Tell me how we're doing on this. What what's happening over there? What's what's happening over there? What's what's happening over there? What's happening over there?" No, no, no. Just happening over there?" No, no, no. Just happening over there?" No, no, no. Just say, "Hey, how are you?" And if you're say, "Hey, how are you?" And if you're say, "Hey, how are you?" And if you're really a resultsoriented person, when I really a resultsoriented person, when I really a resultsoriented person, when I made the shift, it took a long time for made the shift, it took a long time for made the shift, it took a long time for people to realize, oh, he really wants people to realize, oh, he really wants people to realize, oh, he really wants to know how I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah, you to know how I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah, you to know how I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah, you do. So, make it clear. Now, relationship do. So, make it clear. Now, relationship do. So, make it clear. Now, relationship oriented leaders are like, this is good. oriented leaders are like, this is good. oriented leaders are like, this is good. I always care about how people are. I always care about how people are. I always care about how people are. Great. You got to get to the next part Great. You got to get to the next part Great. You got to get to the next part of the meeting. You got to do both. of the meeting. You got to do both. of the meeting. You got to do both. You've got to talk about, okay, I'm glad You've got to talk about, okay, I'm glad You've got to talk about, okay, I'm glad to know you're doing well, or I'm sorry to know you're doing well, or I'm sorry to know you're doing well, or I'm sorry to hear about the struggle, or I'm sorry to hear about the struggle, or I'm sorry to hear about the struggle, or I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, or, you to hear about your daughter, or, you to hear about your daughter, or, you know, hey, that must be tough. Now let's know, hey, that must be tough. Now let's know, hey, that must be tough. Now let's look at the KPIs. Now let's look at the look at the KPIs. Now let's look at the look at the KPIs. Now let's look at the metrics. Now let's look at the results metrics. Now let's look at the results metrics. Now let's look at the results and let's get a plan together to hit and let's get a plan together to hit and let's get a plan together to hit these goals. Okay, smart leaders are these goals. Okay, smart leaders are these goals. Okay, smart leaders are doing both. How are you doing? What are doing both. How are you doing? What are doing both. How are you doing? What are you doing? And remember when you hire you doing? And remember when you hire you doing? And remember when you hire somebody, you hire the whole person, somebody, you hire the whole person, somebody, you hire the whole person, right? The reason you want to ask for right? The reason you want to ask for right? The reason you want to ask for those of you who like me are naturally those of you who like me are naturally those of you who like me are naturally results driven. If things are not going results driven. If things are not going results driven. If things are not going well at home, that's going to spill into well at home, that's going to spill into well at home, that's going to spill into work, right? or somebody's not sleeping work, right? or somebody's not sleeping work, right? or somebody's not sleeping at night because they're worried about at night because they're worried about at night because they're worried about their finances or whatever, that's going their finances or whatever, that's going their finances or whatever, that's going to impact their job performance.

to impact their job performance. to impact their job performance. Personal struggles always show up at Personal struggles always show up at Personal struggles always show up at work. So, that's why you want to have work. So, that's why you want to have work. So, that's why you want to have this framework for your meetings where this framework for your meetings where this framework for your meetings where you are talking about how they're doing you are talking about how they're doing you are talking about how they're doing and then you're talking about what and then you're talking about what and then you're talking about what they're doing. Now, if you want this they're doing. Now, if you want this they're doing. Now, if you want this exact framework that I'm talking about exact framework that I'm talking about exact framework that I'm talking about that I use for my one-on-one meetings, that I use for my one-on-one meetings, that I use for my one-on-one meetings, there's a link to the free guide in the there's a link to the free guide in the there's a link to the free guide in the description of this video. So, you can description of this video. So, you can description of this video. So, you can check it out. It's called the five check it out. It's called the five check it out. It's called the five questions every great leader asks. questions every great leader asks. questions every great leader asks. You'll get five simple but very You'll get five simple but very You'll get five simple but very effective questions for checking in on effective questions for checking in on effective questions for checking in on your people and holding them accountable your people and holding them accountable your people and holding them accountable for results. So, what are the benefits for results. So, what are the benefits for results. So, what are the benefits of this approach? Well, it's going to of this approach? Well, it's going to of this approach? Well, it's going to help team members sort out work issues help team members sort out work issues help team members sort out work issues from life issues. Okay? I can't tell you from life issues. Okay? I can't tell you from life issues. Okay? I can't tell you the number of times I've sat down with a the number of times I've sat down with a the number of times I've sat down with a team member who wasn't doing well and I team member who wasn't doing well and I team member who wasn't doing well and I thought it was a work issue and you ask thought it was a work issue and you ask thought it was a work issue and you ask how they're doing and then you discover, how they're doing and then you discover, how they're doing and then you discover, you know, they had a cousin who died or you know, they had a cousin who died or you know, they had a cousin who died or a neighbor got robbed or, you know, a neighbor got robbed or, you know, a neighbor got robbed or, you know, something happened and it's really something happened and it's really something happened and it's really distracted them. In my life right now, distracted them. In my life right now, distracted them. In my life right now, we just had a natural disaster through we just had a natural disaster through we just had a natural disaster through this area. I mean, it was like a this area. I mean, it was like a this area. I mean, it was like a tornado, a hurricane went through. I tornado, a hurricane went through. I tornado, a hurricane went through. I have been a little bit distracted at have been a little bit distracted at have been a little bit distracted at work that impacts me because I got to work that impacts me because I got to work that impacts me because I got to hire contractors. I'm dealing with like hire contractors. I'm dealing with like hire contractors. I'm dealing with like losing trees all over my property. That losing trees all over my property. That losing trees all over my property. That impacts me. It's the whole life. A impacts me. It's the whole life. A impacts me. It's the whole life. A marriage is not going well. And you know marriage is not going well. And you know marriage is not going well. And you know what you do? You're not a counselor, but what you do? You're not a counselor, but what you do? You're not a counselor, but you just sit down with a team member and you just sit down with a team member and you just sit down with a team member and go, "Thank you for sharing. Is there go, "Thank you for sharing. Is there go, "Thank you for sharing. Is there anything we can do to help?" Nine times anything we can do to help?" Nine times anything we can do to help?" Nine times out of 10, they're going to say no. But out of 10, they're going to say no. But out of 10, they're going to say no. But sometimes they might say, "You know sometimes they might say, "You know sometimes they might say, "You know what? Like, I'd love a counselor. Great.

what? Like, I'd love a counselor. Great. what? Like, I'd love a counselor. Great. You got a fund for that. Go get them a You got a fund for that. Go get them a You got a fund for that. Go get them a counselor, make a referral, whatever." counselor, make a referral, whatever." counselor, make a referral, whatever." But here's here's what's powerful. This But here's here's what's powerful. This But here's here's what's powerful. This helps asking them how they're doing helps asking them how they're doing helps asking them how they're doing helps them sort through the issue and helps them sort through the issue and helps them sort through the issue and they kind of go, you know what, this has they kind of go, you know what, this has they kind of go, you know what, this has nothing to do with work. This is just my nothing to do with work. This is just my nothing to do with work. This is just my life. This is my mom. This is my life. This is my mom. This is my life. This is my mom. This is my daughter. This is my son. This is what's daughter. This is my son. This is what's daughter. This is my son. This is what's happening at home or in the community or happening at home or in the community or happening at home or in the community or whatever. That is gold. Because often whatever. That is gold. Because often whatever. That is gold. Because often it's so popular in the culture to throw it's so popular in the culture to throw it's so popular in the culture to throw work under the bus. I'm so stressed cuz work under the bus. I'm so stressed cuz work under the bus. I'm so stressed cuz my job if you really ask people, my job if you really ask people, my job if you really ask people, likelihood of the stress being bigger at likelihood of the stress being bigger at likelihood of the stress being bigger at home is significant. And so then they're home is significant. And so then they're home is significant. And so then they're kind of like, "No, work is fine." kind of like, "No, work is fine." kind of like, "No, work is fine." Actually, I've actually had people tell Actually, I've actually had people tell Actually, I've actually had people tell me when they're having a tough time. me when they're having a tough time. me when they're having a tough time. Personally, it's like, you know what? Personally, it's like, you know what? Personally, it's like, you know what? I'm so grateful for work because I can I'm so grateful for work because I can I'm so grateful for work because I can kind of park all that stuff and just kind of park all that stuff and just kind of park all that stuff and just come to work and it's a good place. So, come to work and it's a good place. So, come to work and it's a good place. So, it really reduces the tension without it really reduces the tension without it really reduces the tension without you having to say, "Hey, that's not a you having to say, "Hey, that's not a you having to say, "Hey, that's not a work issue." Right now, that's for those work issue." Right now, that's for those work issue." Right now, that's for those of us who are, you know, more of us who are, you know, more of us who are, you know, more resultsoriented people. What about resultsoriented people. What about resultsoriented people. What about people driven leaders? Well, you want to people driven leaders? Well, you want to people driven leaders? Well, you want to start with how people are doing, but start with how people are doing, but start with how people are doing, but don't camp out there. All right? you're don't camp out there. All right? you're don't camp out there. All right? you're going to spend the whole meeting there.

going to spend the whole meeting there. going to spend the whole meeting there. Don't move on to work goals, metrics, Don't move on to work goals, metrics, Don't move on to work goals, metrics, and accountability. So, what do you do? and accountability. So, what do you do? and accountability. So, what do you do? Here's a trick. And again, make sure you Here's a trick. And again, make sure you Here's a trick. And again, make sure you download that free resource. You can download that free resource. You can download that free resource. You can say, "What can we expect next month in say, "What can we expect next month in say, "What can we expect next month in terms of delivering X?" And then follow terms of delivering X?" And then follow terms of delivering X?" And then follow through and track the progress. Hey, we through and track the progress. Hey, we through and track the progress. Hey, we set these KPIs, these key metrics. I set these KPIs, these key metrics. I set these KPIs, these key metrics. I notice we're off track. Can you tell me notice we're off track. Can you tell me notice we're off track. Can you tell me about that? Right? I remember I was about that? Right? I remember I was about that? Right? I remember I was getting ready for this teaching and I getting ready for this teaching and I getting ready for this teaching and I was having a conversation with a guy who was having a conversation with a guy who was having a conversation with a guy who was on staff at the time and uh still a was on staff at the time and uh still a was on staff at the time and uh still a really good friend and I remember being really good friend and I remember being really good friend and I remember being really frustrated with him. He was young really frustrated with him. He was young really frustrated with him. He was young uh working at the church that I was at. uh working at the church that I was at. uh working at the church that I was at. I wanted my videos, you know, from I wanted my videos, you know, from I wanted my videos, you know, from Sunday sermons uploaded on Sunday. They Sunday sermons uploaded on Sunday. They Sunday sermons uploaded on Sunday. They were getting uploaded on Tuesday and I were getting uploaded on Tuesday and I were getting uploaded on Tuesday and I thought, you know, he's just not getting thought, you know, he's just not getting thought, you know, he's just not getting it done. And finally, I asked him, you it done. And finally, I asked him, you it done. And finally, I asked him, you know, hey, what's going on? Like we're know, hey, what's going on? Like we're know, hey, what's going on? Like we're supposed to get these up earlier. and he supposed to get these up earlier. and he supposed to get these up earlier. and he told me, "My computer is so slow. I can told me, "My computer is so slow. I can told me, "My computer is so slow. I can spend 8 hours uploading work. It's just spend 8 hours uploading work. It's just spend 8 hours uploading work. It's just an old computer." And I'm like, "Excuse an old computer." And I'm like, "Excuse an old computer." And I'm like, "Excuse me?" He goes, "Yeah, I'll upload it on me?" He goes, "Yeah, I'll upload it on me?" He goes, "Yeah, I'll upload it on Sunday. It'll fail. I'll have to try Sunday. It'll fail. I'll have to try Sunday. It'll fail. I'll have to try again Monday. I'll try to upload it again Monday. I'll try to upload it again Monday. I'll try to upload it overnight Monday. Then it shuts down. So overnight Monday. Then it shuts down. So overnight Monday. Then it shuts down. So by Tuesday, it's up." I'm like, "Really?

by Tuesday, it's up." I'm like, "Really? by Tuesday, it's up." I'm like, "Really? That's it?" He goes, "Yeah, that's it. That's it?" He goes, "Yeah, that's it. That's it?" He goes, "Yeah, that's it. Well, just order a new computer." That Well, just order a new computer." That Well, just order a new computer." That cut his processing time from three days cut his processing time from three days cut his processing time from three days to two hours. $5,000 investment paid to two hours. $5,000 investment paid to two hours. $5,000 investment paid back so quickly. Plus, you know, back so quickly. Plus, you know, back so quickly. Plus, you know, everybody loves having great gear. So, everybody loves having great gear. So, everybody loves having great gear. So, that's what you need to do sometimes. that's what you need to do sometimes. that's what you need to do sometimes. You got to get If you're a people You got to get If you're a people You got to get If you're a people oriented person, it's like, "Oh, you oriented person, it's like, "Oh, you oriented person, it's like, "Oh, you know, he's doing his best. He's so nice. know, he's doing his best. He's so nice. know, he's doing his best. He's so nice. It takes him two days. That's okay." No, It takes him two days. That's okay." No, It takes him two days. That's okay." No, he didn't have a computer. All right. he didn't have a computer. All right. he didn't have a computer. All right. Get him a new computer. Solved. So, now Get him a new computer. Solved. So, now Get him a new computer. Solved. So, now you know. The future belongs to leaders you know. The future belongs to leaders you know. The future belongs to leaders who value both results and who value both results and who value both results and relationships. And if you want more, relationships. And if you want more, relationships. And if you want more, don't forget to check out the links in don't forget to check out the links in don't forget to check out the links in the description of this video. They're the description of this video. They're the description of this video. They're really going to help. and maybe leave a really going to help. and maybe leave a really going to help. and maybe leave a comment about what you're learning when comment about what you're learning when comment about what you're learning when it comes to managing the tension between it comes to managing the tension between it comes to managing the tension between relationships and results. I'd love to relationships and results. I'd love to relationships and results. I'd love to hear from you.