Why Great People Stop Volunteering At Good Churches

Why do great people stop volunteering at Why do great people stop volunteering at good churches? In our opinion, it's not good churches? In our opinion, it's not good churches? In our opinion, it's not that difficult. Identifying the reason. that difficult. Identifying the reason. that difficult. Identifying the reason. Reaching a solution is where things Reaching a solution is where things Reaching a solution is where things become more complicated. But that's what become more complicated. But that's what become more complicated. But that's what this episode is for. Let's dive in. this episode is for. Let's dive in. this episode is for. Let's dive in. Well, hey there and welcome to the Well, hey there and welcome to the Well, hey there and welcome to the ProChurch Tools Show. We're here to help ProChurch Tools Show. We're here to help ProChurch Tools Show. We're here to help you and your church navigate the biggest you and your church navigate the biggest you and your church navigate the biggest communication shift in 500 years. I'm communication shift in 500 years. I'm communication shift in 500 years. I'm Brady Sheer, your host. I'm joined as Brady Sheer, your host. I'm joined as Brady Sheer, your host. I'm joined as always by my co-host. We call him always by my co-host. We call him always by my co-host. We call him Reverend Redacted. It's Alexander Mils. Reverend Redacted. It's Alexander Mils. Reverend Redacted. It's Alexander Mils. >> Hello. Hello. >> Hello. Hello. >> Hello. Hello. >> Let's get straight to it. The title of >> Let's get straight to it. The title of >> Let's get straight to it. The title of this episode, why great people stop this episode, why great people stop this episode, why great people stop volunteering at good churches. volunteering at good churches. volunteering at good churches. >> The subject matter of this episode is >> The subject matter of this episode is >> The subject matter of this episode is going to be very quickly answering that going to be very quickly answering that going to be very quickly answering that question question question >> because I don't think it's a mystery and >> because I don't think it's a mystery and >> because I don't think it's a mystery and then getting into how to actually then getting into how to actually then getting into how to actually >> resolve this or >> resolve this or >> resolve this or >> aspire to resolve it. >> aspire to resolve it. >> aspire to resolve it. >> The answer is emotional instability. >> The answer is emotional instability. >> The answer is emotional instability. >> And emotional instability can be >> And emotional instability can be >> And emotional instability can be expressed in a number of destructive expressed in a number of destructive expressed in a number of destructive ways. You know, sometimes it's chaotic ways. You know, sometimes it's chaotic ways. You know, sometimes it's chaotic management. I think we've experienced management. I think we've experienced management. I think we've experienced all of us at one time or another being all of us at one time or another being all of us at one time or another being under a leader who was like relationally under a leader who was like relationally under a leader who was like relationally really good but just, you know, could really good but just, you know, could really good but just, you know, could not keep things organized. And as a not keep things organized. And as a not keep things organized. And as a leader of an organization, that can be leader of an organization, that can be leader of an organization, that can be really challenging unless you have like really challenging unless you have like really challenging unless you have like someone who is literally responsible for someone who is literally responsible for someone who is literally responsible for that.

that. that. you know, you're late, things are not you know, you're late, things are not you know, you're late, things are not getting done on time, people can't count getting done on time, people can't count getting done on time, people can't count on you to come through, not even because on you to come through, not even because on you to come through, not even because your intentions are necessarily bad, but your intentions are necessarily bad, but your intentions are necessarily bad, but to me that's emotional instability to me that's emotional instability to me that's emotional instability that's being expressed in your chaotic that's being expressed in your chaotic that's being expressed in your chaotic organization. And then the other way, of organization. And then the other way, of organization. And then the other way, of course, is going to be relational course, is going to be relational course, is going to be relational instability that stems from the pastor's instability that stems from the pastor's instability that stems from the pastor's arrested emotional development. And that arrested emotional development. And that arrested emotional development. And that can look a number of different ways, but can look a number of different ways, but can look a number of different ways, but I think we probably don't have to touch I think we probably don't have to touch I think we probably don't have to touch on it too much because we're all on it too much because we're all on it too much because we're all familiar with it. Mhm. familiar with it. Mhm. familiar with it. Mhm. >> And so what spawned this episode idea >> And so what spawned this episode idea >> And so what spawned this episode idea was me looking inward over my 10 years was me looking inward over my 10 years was me looking inward over my 10 years of leading this organization and like of leading this organization and like of leading this organization and like realizing not realizing this is not a realizing not realizing this is not a realizing not realizing this is not a realization. I have known this for a realization. I have known this for a realization. I have known this for a long time but realizing you know what I long time but realizing you know what I long time but realizing you know what I probably have a lot to share from my own probably have a lot to share from my own probably have a lot to share from my own journey of emotional instability and how journey of emotional instability and how journey of emotional instability and how I have worked to improve it because I I have worked to improve it because I I have worked to improve it because I have taken a very practical approach to have taken a very practical approach to have taken a very practical approach to improving it. And I would say, not to improving it. And I would say, not to improving it. And I would say, not to brag, but if I started off as a brag, but if I started off as a brag, but if I started off as a 21-year-old leading this company with a 21-year-old leading this company with a 21-year-old leading this company with a one out of 10 on the emotional one out of 10 on the emotional one out of 10 on the emotional instability stage uh scale, I might be instability stage uh scale, I might be instability stage uh scale, I might be at a five out of 10 today. So, look, at a five out of 10 today. So, look, at a five out of 10 today. So, look, this is for everyone that's really bad this is for everyone that's really bad this is for everyone that's really bad at this. If you're already a five out of at this. If you're already a five out of at this. If you're already a five out of 10, I don't know if you're going to gain 10, I don't know if you're going to gain 10, I don't know if you're going to gain anything, okay? This is for those that anything, okay? This is for those that anything, okay? This is for those that really just need some help and some work really just need some help and some work really just need some help and some work on this. Now, I do sit across from on this. Now, I do sit across from on this. Now, I do sit across from someone who I would say is pretty someone who I would say is pretty someone who I would say is pretty emotionally stable. So, we're not going emotionally stable. So, we're not going emotionally stable. So, we're not going to learn from him because, you know, to learn from him because, you know, to learn from him because, you know, it's it comes easy for him. He hasn't it's it comes easy for him. He hasn't it's it comes easy for him. He hasn't had to work on this. Okay. Naturally, had to work on this. Okay. Naturally, had to work on this. Okay. Naturally, he's always been emotionally stable, he's always been emotionally stable, he's always been emotionally stable, right, Alex?

right, Alex? right, Alex? >> Uh, probably not quite, but this is your >> Uh, probably not quite, but this is your >> Uh, probably not quite, but this is your story. story. story. >> Okay. That's >> Okay. That's >> Okay. That's >> okay. >> okay. >> okay. >> Your mind in a future episode. >> Your mind in a future episode. >> Your mind in a future episode. >> All right. Well, feel free to interject, >> All right. Well, feel free to interject, >> All right. Well, feel free to interject, you know, any of your own anecdotes you know, any of your own anecdotes you know, any of your own anecdotes along the way. Um, three steps here. along the way. Um, three steps here. along the way. Um, three steps here. Okay. Okay. Okay. >> Surprise, surprise. >> Surprise, surprise. >> Surprise, surprise. >> I've got three steps for you. And the >> I've got three steps for you. And the >> I've got three steps for you. And the first one is setting up systems for the first one is setting up systems for the first one is setting up systems for the sake of triage. So there is a YouTube sake of triage. So there is a YouTube sake of triage. So there is a YouTube video that I did when I turned 30. You video that I did when I turned 30. You video that I did when I turned 30. You can find it on the main Brady Sheer can find it on the main Brady Sheer can find it on the main Brady Sheer channel. And basically the the the channel. And basically the the the channel. And basically the the the premise of the video, the headline is premise of the video, the headline is premise of the video, the headline is roughly like you know the habits that roughly like you know the habits that roughly like you know the habits that I'm committing to or have committed to I'm committing to or have committed to I'm committing to or have committed to now that I've turned 30. now that I've turned 30. now that I've turned 30. >> And right around this time, so this is >> And right around this time, so this is >> And right around this time, so this is about 5 years ago, um I had already been about 5 years ago, um I had already been about 5 years ago, um I had already been doing this for two years. So, this has doing this for two years. So, this has doing this for two years. So, this has probably been something I'm doing for probably been something I'm doing for probably been something I'm doing for like, you know, five to 10 year uh five like, you know, five to 10 year uh five like, you know, five to 10 year uh five to seven years, pardon me, is I had set to seven years, pardon me, is I had set to seven years, pardon me, is I had set up what I had called a habits of joy up what I had called a habits of joy up what I had called a habits of joy spreadsheet. And the purpose of this spreadsheet. And the purpose of this spreadsheet. And the purpose of this spreadsheet was to track every single spreadsheet was to track every single spreadsheet was to track every single day day day commitments and rhythms of life that I commitments and rhythms of life that I commitments and rhythms of life that I had identified had identified had identified >> in my own day-to-day living. Hey, if I >> in my own day-to-day living. Hey, if I >> in my own day-to-day living. Hey, if I can commit to these, I am much more can commit to these, I am much more can commit to these, I am much more stable as a human being.

stable as a human being. stable as a human being. >> And so, what were they? Uh there was, >> And so, what were they? Uh there was, >> And so, what were they? Uh there was, you know, five or six dedicated to you know, five or six dedicated to you know, five or six dedicated to nutrition. Okay, how many calories am I nutrition. Okay, how many calories am I nutrition. Okay, how many calories am I taking in overall? How much protein? How taking in overall? How much protein? How taking in overall? How much protein? How much fat? How much carbs? How much of much fat? How much carbs? How much of much fat? How much carbs? How much of this overall is like ultrarocessed food? this overall is like ultrarocessed food? this overall is like ultrarocessed food? What percentage? Um, how much fiber am I What percentage? Um, how much fiber am I What percentage? Um, how much fiber am I getting? How much saturated fat? It getting? How much saturated fat? It getting? How much saturated fat? It covered all those things. You know, the covered all those things. You know, the covered all those things. You know, the saturated fat one was specific to me saturated fat one was specific to me saturated fat one was specific to me just because I had some really high just because I had some really high just because I had some really high cholesterol numbers which have now since cholesterol numbers which have now since cholesterol numbers which have now since come out because I tracked that. I'm not come out because I tracked that. I'm not come out because I tracked that. I'm not suggesting you need to track saturated suggesting you need to track saturated suggesting you need to track saturated fat. But fiber is important, people. fat. But fiber is important, people. fat. But fiber is important, people. Fiber. Fiber. Fiber. >> That's what I'm hearing. >> That's what I'm hearing. >> That's what I'm hearing. >> Colon cancer is on the rise in young >> Colon cancer is on the rise in young >> Colon cancer is on the rise in young people. Get your fiber. You know what people. Get your fiber. You know what people. Get your fiber. You know what doesn't have fiber? Ultrarocessed food. doesn't have fiber? Ultrarocessed food. doesn't have fiber? Ultrarocessed food. >> You know what does have fiber? >> You know what does have fiber? >> You know what does have fiber? Smart sweets. Smart sweets. Smart sweets. >> No. No. No. Do not get your fiber from >> No. No. No. Do not get your fiber from >> No. No. No. Do not get your fiber from gummy candies. Okay. Oats, gummy candies. Okay. Oats, gummy candies. Okay. Oats, >> potatoes, apples, >> potatoes, apples, >> potatoes, apples, >> uh, bananas. You know what's a really >> uh, bananas. You know what's a really >> uh, bananas. You know what's a really good one? good one? good one? >> Chia seeds and raspberries. Those are so >> Chia seeds and raspberries. Those are so >> Chia seeds and raspberries. Those are so full of fiber. full of fiber. full of fiber. >> Pair those with oats. >> Pair those with oats. >> Pair those with oats. >> Insane amounts of fiber. >> Insane amounts of fiber. >> Insane amounts of fiber. >> And you're feeling good in the morning. >> And you're feeling good in the morning. >> And you're feeling good in the morning. >> Had it this morning. Loved it. Tried to >> Had it this morning. Loved it. Tried to >> Had it this morning. Loved it. Tried to double up the recipe yesterday because I double up the recipe yesterday because I double up the recipe yesterday because I was like, you know what? was like, you know what? was like, you know what? >> Is it overnight oats? >> Is it overnight oats? >> Is it overnight oats? >> No, I I like doing, you know, uh, >> No, I I like doing, you know, uh, >> No, I I like doing, you know, uh, morning oats.

morning oats. morning oats. >> So, warm. >> So, warm. >> So, warm. >> Yeah. Yeah. warm them up, but cool them >> Yeah. Yeah. warm them up, but cool them >> Yeah. Yeah. warm them up, but cool them down with some with some skier because down with some with some skier because down with some with some skier because it gets too hot otherwise. Anyway, I'm it gets too hot otherwise. Anyway, I'm it gets too hot otherwise. Anyway, I'm not going to get into my we have things not going to get into my we have things not going to get into my we have things to talk about. So, uh what did I did I to talk about. So, uh what did I did I to talk about. So, uh what did I did I track? I tracked sleep. track? I tracked sleep. track? I tracked sleep. >> I tracked how much I was lifting uh >> I tracked how much I was lifting uh >> I tracked how much I was lifting uh cardio. I tracked prayer. I tracked uh cardio. I tracked prayer. I tracked uh cardio. I tracked prayer. I tracked uh just a bunch of other things. And what I just a bunch of other things. And what I just a bunch of other things. And what I found was and for each person there'll found was and for each person there'll found was and for each person there'll be like if you if you take care to be be like if you if you take care to be be like if you if you take care to be introspective and be a little introspective and be a little introspective and be a little self-reflective, you should be able to self-reflective, you should be able to self-reflective, you should be able to mine out like your own habits of joy mine out like your own habits of joy mine out like your own habits of joy that are particular to you. Yeah. Yeah. that are particular to you. Yeah. Yeah. that are particular to you. Yeah. Yeah. And so once I started tracking these, I And so once I started tracking these, I And so once I started tracking these, I realized, okay, I am a lot more stable realized, okay, I am a lot more stable realized, okay, I am a lot more stable as a human when I'm taking care of these as a human when I'm taking care of these as a human when I'm taking care of these things. Now, I should emphasize that things. Now, I should emphasize that things. Now, I should emphasize that >> this was not a solution to the problem. >> this was not a solution to the problem. >> this was not a solution to the problem. It was me triaging the problem. Okay? I It was me triaging the problem. Okay? I It was me triaging the problem. Okay? I was bleeding and this was me, you know, was bleeding and this was me, you know, was bleeding and this was me, you know, putting a bandage just like holding a putting a bandage just like holding a putting a bandage just like holding a bandage against the arm to like stop the bandage against the arm to like stop the bandage against the arm to like stop the bleeding. bleeding. bleeding. >> Um, this is tourniquet. Okay? This is >> Um, this is tourniquet. Okay? This is >> Um, this is tourniquet. Okay? This is triage. This is not we're going to go triage. This is not we're going to go triage. This is not we're going to go and see the doctor and get the solution. and see the doctor and get the solution. and see the doctor and get the solution. This is like things are awful. Yes.

This is like things are awful. Yes. This is like things are awful. Yes. >> How can you get a hold of things right >> How can you get a hold of things right >> How can you get a hold of things right now? now? now? >> And then ongoing it functions as >> And then ongoing it functions as >> And then ongoing it functions as maintenance. Right. maintenance. Right. maintenance. Right. >> Right. Because the downside >> Right. Because the downside >> Right. Because the downside >> like homeostasis. >> like homeostasis. >> like homeostasis. >> Correct. But like if we're being honest, >> Correct. But like if we're being honest, >> Correct. But like if we're being honest, if I'm being honest with myself, what if I'm being honest with myself, what if I'm being honest with myself, what I'm trying to do with this is control I'm trying to do with this is control I'm trying to do with this is control everything in my life. everything in my life. everything in my life. >> And I came across a quote the other day. >> And I came across a quote the other day. >> And I came across a quote the other day. I don't have like the exact version of I don't have like the exact version of I don't have like the exact version of it, but it was something like, you know, it, but it was something like, you know, it, but it was something like, you know, >> one of the greatest traits you can >> one of the greatest traits you can >> one of the greatest traits you can develop as a leader is tolerance for develop as a leader is tolerance for develop as a leader is tolerance for uncertainty. uncertainty. uncertainty. >> And my emotional instability stems from >> And my emotional instability stems from >> And my emotional instability stems from a a a deepseated deepseated deepseated discomfort of uncertainty. discomfort of uncertainty. discomfort of uncertainty. >> And so what the habits of joy >> And so what the habits of joy >> And so what the habits of joy spreadsheet did was it basically like spreadsheet did was it basically like spreadsheet did was it basically like erected a box that I could live in erected a box that I could live in erected a box that I could live in >> and so long as I made all these check >> and so long as I made all these check >> and so long as I made all these check marks things were good, marks things were good, marks things were good, >> right? Like that doesn't solve the >> right? Like that doesn't solve the >> right? Like that doesn't solve the problem. It just triages things so that problem. It just triages things so that problem. It just triages things so that okay, right now I can start functioning okay, right now I can start functioning okay, right now I can start functioning better. And what I like about it is that better. And what I like about it is that better. And what I like about it is that if you set these things up and commit to if you set these things up and commit to if you set these things up and commit to them, you can see immediate improvement them, you can see immediate improvement them, you can see immediate improvement in yourself. And people around you will in yourself. And people around you will in yourself. And people around you will notice. The people that serve under you notice. The people that serve under you notice. The people that serve under you at church will notice. You are a at church will notice. You are a at church will notice. You are a healthier version of yourself. Your healthier version of yourself. Your healthier version of yourself. Your partner will notice. Your children will partner will notice. Your children will partner will notice. Your children will notice. Your friends will notice. So, notice. Your friends will notice. So, notice. Your friends will notice. So, it's all great.

it's all great. it's all great. >> But we don't want to stop there because >> But we don't want to stop there because >> But we don't want to stop there because if all we do is triage and we don't if all we do is triage and we don't if all we do is triage and we don't treat the core issue, then things treat the core issue, then things treat the core issue, then things probably won't ever get better probably won't ever get better probably won't ever get better >> in their fullness in a holistic way. And >> in their fullness in a holistic way. And >> in their fullness in a holistic way. And so then what came from there was me so then what came from there was me so then what came from there was me beginning to practice intentionally beginning to practice intentionally beginning to practice intentionally things that would bring me discomfort. things that would bring me discomfort. things that would bring me discomfort. >> And there are so many different ways >> And there are so many different ways >> And there are so many different ways that you can do this. And there are well that you can do this. And there are well that you can do this. And there are well doumented studies on like the the power doumented studies on like the the power doumented studies on like the the power of purposefully engaging in micro of purposefully engaging in micro of purposefully engaging in micro stressors. Not the macro stressors that stressors. Not the macro stressors that stressors. Not the macro stressors that will just like debilitate you, but micro will just like debilitate you, but micro will just like debilitate you, but micro stressors that will build up your stressors that will build up your stressors that will build up your tolerance and ability to handle tolerance and ability to handle tolerance and ability to handle emotional stress, physical stress, emotional stress, physical stress, emotional stress, physical stress, whatever it is. whatever it is. whatever it is. >> Cold plunging is probably like a >> Cold plunging is probably like a >> Cold plunging is probably like a prominent example that most people are prominent example that most people are prominent example that most people are familiar with. familiar with. familiar with. >> Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Uh, one that I >> Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Uh, one that I >> Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Uh, one that I have consistently um endeavored in is have consistently um endeavored in is have consistently um endeavored in is going on like big international trips going on like big international trips going on like big international trips and then like forcing myself out of my and then like forcing myself out of my and then like forcing myself out of my week toe habitat and do something that's week toe habitat and do something that's week toe habitat and do something that's uncomfortable. Now, I'm not suggesting uncomfortable. Now, I'm not suggesting uncomfortable. Now, I'm not suggesting that this is everyone's solution. You that this is everyone's solution. You that this is everyone's solution. You know, you might be listening be like, know, you might be listening be like, know, you might be listening be like, "Okay, I can't go on a trip." So, like a "Okay, I can't go on a trip." So, like a "Okay, I can't go on a trip." So, like a version here might be like, "I'm going version here might be like, "I'm going version here might be like, "I'm going to take up like a class in an evening to take up like a class in an evening to take up like a class in an evening once a week once a week once a week >> on something that like I've just never >> on something that like I've just never >> on something that like I've just never had any experience in." Because had any experience in." Because had any experience in." Because something that happens as you get older something that happens as you get older something that happens as you get older is you just stop doing things that is you just stop doing things that is you just stop doing things that you're unfamiliar with.

you're unfamiliar with. you're unfamiliar with. >> Totally. And the consequences of that on >> Totally. And the consequences of that on >> Totally. And the consequences of that on like a brain elasticity front are well like a brain elasticity front are well like a brain elasticity front are well documented. But I think just as documented. But I think just as documented. But I think just as important, if not more so, in your own important, if not more so, in your own important, if not more so, in your own leadership and how you serve in church leadership and how you serve in church leadership and how you serve in church and the people that you know are and the people that you know are and the people that you know are underneath you is like you stop becoming underneath you is like you stop becoming underneath you is like you stop becoming malleable as a person emotionally. malleable as a person emotionally. malleable as a person emotionally. >> I see this like with my like lack of >> I see this like with my like lack of >> I see this like with my like lack of desire to engage in anything that is desire to engage in anything that is desire to engage in anything that is like foreign to me as a default. So like foreign to me as a default. So like foreign to me as a default. So here's how I fought against this on a here's how I fought against this on a here's how I fought against this on a trip. I'm going to show you three trips. trip. I'm going to show you three trips. trip. I'm going to show you three trips. The first trip Alex was on. We went to The first trip Alex was on. We went to The first trip Alex was on. We went to Scotland and in Scotland they drive on Scotland and in Scotland they drive on Scotland and in Scotland they drive on the left. In Canada we drive on the the left. In Canada we drive on the the left. In Canada we drive on the right. Now Alex has extreme problems right. Now Alex has extreme problems right. Now Alex has extreme problems with his own stomach. with his own stomach. with his own stomach. >> So out of the goodness of my heart I >> So out of the goodness of my heart I >> So out of the goodness of my heart I said Alex you can drive because said Alex you can drive because said Alex you can drive because otherwise you will be unwell in the otherwise you will be unwell in the otherwise you will be unwell in the front seat right because of your motion front seat right because of your motion front seat right because of your motion sickness. No the main reason was I was sickness. No the main reason was I was sickness. No the main reason was I was like I feel extreme anxiety. The thought like I feel extreme anxiety. The thought like I feel extreme anxiety. The thought driving on the other side of the road. driving on the other side of the road. driving on the other side of the road. What if I mess it up? What if I mess it up? What if I mess it up? >> The stakes are pretty high if you mess >> The stakes are pretty high if you mess >> The stakes are pretty high if you mess it up. There is that. So then last year it up. There is that. So then last year it up. There is that. So then last year we go to Australia we go to Australia we go to Australia >> and I go and I tell myself I'm going to >> and I go and I tell myself I'm going to >> and I go and I tell myself I'm going to be the one that drives on the other side be the one that drives on the other side be the one that drives on the other side of the road and I'm going to make of the road and I'm going to make of the road and I'm going to make mistakes and I will be embarrassed when mistakes and I will be embarrassed when mistakes and I will be embarrassed when I make those mistakes, I make those mistakes, I make those mistakes, >> but I'm going to do this and I'm going >> but I'm going to do this and I'm going >> but I'm going to do this and I'm going to approach it with the mindset of what to approach it with the mindset of what to approach it with the mindset of what a fun new challenge that I get to a fun new challenge that I get to a fun new challenge that I get to tackle. Not tackle. Not tackle. Not >> what a terrifying thing because this is >> what a terrifying thing because this is >> what a terrifying thing because this is not something I've ever done before.

not something I've ever done before. not something I've ever done before. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I approach it in that way. We lived >> And I approach it in that way. We lived >> And I approach it in that way. We lived and then this year we go to New Zealand and then this year we go to New Zealand and then this year we go to New Zealand and it's same thing. Drive on the other and it's same thing. Drive on the other and it's same thing. Drive on the other side of the road. This time, I didn't side of the road. This time, I didn't side of the road. This time, I didn't even like hype myself up for it. It was even like hype myself up for it. It was even like hype myself up for it. It was just like, "Oh, yeah, we're going to do just like, "Oh, yeah, we're going to do just like, "Oh, yeah, we're going to do this." Because I had done it before. And this." Because I had done it before. And this." Because I had done it before. And it's so like eerie, not eerie, it's it's so like eerie, not eerie, it's it's so like eerie, not eerie, it's embarrassing to say this all out loud embarrassing to say this all out loud embarrassing to say this all out loud because what do I say to my 10-year-old because what do I say to my 10-year-old because what do I say to my 10-year-old daughter? daughter? daughter? >> Anytime she is like doing something >> Anytime she is like doing something >> Anytime she is like doing something uncomfortable, I'm like, "Great, punch uncomfortable, I'm like, "Great, punch uncomfortable, I'm like, "Great, punch fear in the face. Do it." And then once fear in the face. Do it." And then once fear in the face. Do it." And then once you've done it, you'll realize it's not you've done it, you'll realize it's not you've done it, you'll realize it's not a big deal. a big deal. a big deal. >> Isn't that the worst part about >> Isn't that the worst part about >> Isn't that the worst part about parenting? It's so easy to give this parenting? It's so easy to give this parenting? It's so easy to give this advice to our kids and then we look in advice to our kids and then we look in advice to our kids and then we look in the mirror, it's like, "Ah, but I can't the mirror, it's like, "Ah, but I can't the mirror, it's like, "Ah, but I can't do it myself." do it myself." do it myself." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you could >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you could >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you could just like one of the great ways to um just like one of the great ways to um just like one of the great ways to um practice this is my friend Justin who's practice this is my friend Justin who's practice this is my friend Justin who's a pastor who also just like approaches a pastor who also just like approaches a pastor who also just like approaches life with a very much like we'll just life with a very much like we'll just life with a very much like we'll just see we'll figure it out attitude. And see we'll figure it out attitude. And see we'll figure it out attitude. And this is a good example of like surround this is a good example of like surround this is a good example of like surround yourself with people who have what you yourself with people who have what you yourself with people who have what you lack because they'll eventually just lack because they'll eventually just lack because they'll eventually just like raise your um ineptitude in those like raise your um ineptitude in those like raise your um ineptitude in those areas. He has begun practicing this areas. He has begun practicing this areas. He has begun practicing this thing where he'll say what are the thing where he'll say what are the thing where he'll say what are the chances and then just like fill in the chances and then just like fill in the chances and then just like fill in the blank for wherever he's at. So, he did blank for wherever he's at. So, he did blank for wherever he's at. So, he did this like on a recent like he had like a this like on a recent like he had like a this like on a recent like he had like a date night with his wife and he's like, date night with his wife and he's like, date night with his wife and he's like, "What are the chances we can get an "What are the chances we can get an "What are the chances we can get an upgrade on this hotel?" And the person upgrade on this hotel?" And the person upgrade on this hotel?" And the person was like, "You can't." And he's like, was like, "You can't." And he's like, was like, "You can't." And he's like, "Okay, no worries at all." Right?

"Okay, no worries at all." Right? "Okay, no worries at all." Right? >> And then they were like, >> And then they were like, >> And then they were like, >> you know, "Let me check." >> you know, "Let me check." >> you know, "Let me check." >> He asked and everyone asks. When he got >> He asked and everyone asks. When he got >> He asked and everyone asks. When he got turned down, he was like, "No worries. turned down, he was like, "No worries. turned down, he was like, "No worries. It's totally cool." And because he was It's totally cool." And because he was It's totally cool." And because he was so polite to that like service worker, so polite to that like service worker, so polite to that like service worker, they were like, "Well, let me check." they were like, "Well, let me check." they were like, "Well, let me check." And then he got the upgrade. You know, And then he got the upgrade. You know, And then he got the upgrade. You know, we've done this in the past where we've we've done this in the past where we've we've done this in the past where we've been like, "Hey, what are the chances we been like, "Hey, what are the chances we been like, "Hey, what are the chances we can get a table for tonight?" They're can get a table for tonight?" They're can get a table for tonight?" They're like, "No, you can't." All right, cool. like, "No, you can't." All right, cool. like, "No, you can't." All right, cool. And you move on. And it's like I would And you move on. And it's like I would And you move on. And it's like I would encourage anyone to just start trying encourage anyone to just start trying encourage anyone to just start trying this not to like get things per se, but this not to like get things per se, but this not to like get things per se, but to do it intentionally as a way to set to do it intentionally as a way to set to do it intentionally as a way to set yourself up to be rejected. yourself up to be rejected. yourself up to be rejected. >> And you will be rejected. And then the >> And you will be rejected. And then the >> And you will be rejected. And then the more you do this, now I I don't have a more you do this, now I I don't have a more you do this, now I I don't have a fear of rejection. This is not my fear of rejection. This is not my fear of rejection. This is not my problem, but like this is a great way to problem, but like this is a great way to problem, but like this is a great way to practice that skill uh as well. practice that skill uh as well. practice that skill uh as well. >> And and in and in doing so, you you >> And and in and in doing so, you you >> And and in and in doing so, you you build up a tolerance that functions um build up a tolerance that functions um build up a tolerance that functions um as as as Yeah. just forming you into a more Yeah. just forming you into a more Yeah. just forming you into a more tolerant person. I find in a lot of tolerant person. I find in a lot of tolerant person. I find in a lot of cases where I identify emotional cases where I identify emotional cases where I identify emotional instability in myself, if I kind of instability in myself, if I kind of instability in myself, if I kind of track it back to maybe the root cause, track it back to maybe the root cause, track it back to maybe the root cause, like why am I feeling this way? Why am I like why am I feeling this way? Why am I like why am I feeling this way? Why am I missing the mark here? It's often it's missing the mark here? It's often it's missing the mark here? It's often it's often linked to an intolerance to often linked to an intolerance to often linked to an intolerance to something, something, something, >> some sort of external stimulus or >> some sort of external stimulus or >> some sort of external stimulus or pressure or a lot of times discomfort.

pressure or a lot of times discomfort. pressure or a lot of times discomfort. And by exercising that muscle and And by exercising that muscle and And by exercising that muscle and becoming more tolerant to insert um becoming more tolerant to insert um becoming more tolerant to insert um inconvenience, inconvenience, inconvenience, you actually are formed into uh a more you actually are formed into uh a more you actually are formed into uh a more stable person that can be relied on in stable person that can be relied on in stable person that can be relied on in your function at church. Um in your your function at church. Um in your your function at church. Um in your leadership at church, but arguably like leadership at church, but arguably like leadership at church, but arguably like more importantly like in the more importantly like in the more importantly like in the relationships that are that are closest relationships that are that are closest relationships that are that are closest to you, in your marriage if you're to you, in your marriage if you're to you, in your marriage if you're married, in your relationship to your married, in your relationship to your married, in your relationship to your kids if you have kids, in your your kids if you have kids, in your your kids if you have kids, in your your interfamilial relationships. Um, yeah. interfamilial relationships. Um, yeah. interfamilial relationships. Um, yeah. And this is, you know, now we're getting And this is, you know, now we're getting And this is, you know, now we're getting into kind of the the the spiritual into kind of the the the spiritual into kind of the the the spiritual journey, but at the end of the day, at journey, but at the end of the day, at journey, but at the end of the day, at the end of the day, that's kind of what the end of the day, that's kind of what the end of the day, that's kind of what this is, which is like being formed into this is, which is like being formed into this is, which is like being formed into someone who looks more like Jesus. It's someone who looks more like Jesus. It's someone who looks more like Jesus. It's it's this spiritual formation of going it's this spiritual formation of going it's this spiritual formation of going from from grace to grace, from glory to from from grace to grace, from glory to from from grace to grace, from glory to glory. And what I'm learning is, I just glory. And what I'm learning is, I just glory. And what I'm learning is, I just talked about this at church recently, is talked about this at church recently, is talked about this at church recently, is like this type of formation does not like this type of formation does not like this type of formation does not occur upon us. God does occur upon us in occur upon us. God does occur upon us in occur upon us. God does occur upon us in some ways at some times. It's almost some ways at some times. It's almost some ways at some times. It's almost impossible to discern when or why or impossible to discern when or why or impossible to discern when or why or how, but I believe he does. But a lot of how, but I believe he does. But a lot of how, but I believe he does. But a lot of the the Christian walk is accepting our the the Christian walk is accepting our the the Christian walk is accepting our responsibility to put one foot in front responsibility to put one foot in front responsibility to put one foot in front of the other and participate in of the other and participate in of the other and participate in following after Jesus. And that's how following after Jesus. And that's how following after Jesus. And that's how formation happens. It does not occur formation happens. It does not occur formation happens. It does not occur upon us. It it comes from from upon us. It it comes from from upon us. It it comes from from us saying yes to continuing to march on us saying yes to continuing to march on us saying yes to continuing to march on and not just staying comfortable where and not just staying comfortable where and not just staying comfortable where we are. Resign to how we are today. Um we are. Resign to how we are today. Um we are. Resign to how we are today. Um >> and and it takes practice and we're all

>> and and it takes practice and we're all >> and and it takes practice and we're all being formed. We can have a say in how being formed. We can have a say in how being formed. We can have a say in how we're being formed or we can let the we're being formed or we can let the we're being formed or we can let the formation happen to us based on the formation happen to us based on the formation happen to us based on the lives that are around us. lives that are around us. lives that are around us. >> My wife and I were having this >> My wife and I were having this >> My wife and I were having this conversation this morning. We were conversation this morning. We were conversation this morning. We were talking about like when something that talking about like when something that talking about like when something that is acute becomes chronic and we were is acute becomes chronic and we were is acute becomes chronic and we were trying to like weed something out in our trying to like weed something out in our trying to like weed something out in our own lives and I was saying, you know, own lives and I was saying, you know, own lives and I was saying, you know, we've had this thing happen. This has we've had this thing happen. This has we've had this thing happen. This has existed and it's been acute before and existed and it's been acute before and existed and it's been acute before and I've never really concerned myself with I've never really concerned myself with I've never really concerned myself with it because like you know stress of life it because like you know stress of life it because like you know stress of life will always create like acute things. will always create like acute things. will always create like acute things. >> Sure. >> Sure. >> Sure. >> I was like but I'm starting to see it >> I was like but I'm starting to see it >> I was like but I'm starting to see it happen more and the last thing that we happen more and the last thing that we happen more and the last thing that we want is for something acute to become want is for something acute to become want is for something acute to become chronic. And in the context of this chronic. And in the context of this chronic. And in the context of this conversation and formation, what conversation and formation, what conversation and formation, what invariably happens is if you are not invariably happens is if you are not invariably happens is if you are not intentional in like making the intentional in like making the intentional in like making the trajectory of your formation like Jesus trajectory of your formation like Jesus trajectory of your formation like Jesus and like walking that narrow path. Why and like walking that narrow path. Why and like walking that narrow path. Why does Christ describe it that way? The does Christ describe it that way? The does Christ describe it that way? The path is narrow because most people are path is narrow because most people are path is narrow because most people are unable or unwilling to continue to align unable or unwilling to continue to align unable or unwilling to continue to align themselves with the wisdom of scripture themselves with the wisdom of scripture themselves with the wisdom of scripture with the person of Jesus. And like life with the person of Jesus. And like life with the person of Jesus. And like life happens around them. And I remember happens around them. And I remember happens around them. And I remember seeing this in the Christians in my seeing this in the Christians in my seeing this in the Christians in my church when I was younger. Why are all church when I was younger. Why are all church when I was younger. Why are all the older Christians like just so like the older Christians like just so like the older Christians like just so like >> bitter it felt like? And I was like I >> bitter it felt like? And I was like I >> bitter it felt like? And I was like I think I think it was just life happening think I think it was just life happening think I think it was just life happening for 40 years and it's just really hard for 40 years and it's just really hard for 40 years and it's just really hard to resist that. And I remember thinking to resist that. And I remember thinking to resist that. And I remember thinking to myself then I was like I never want to myself then I was like I never want to myself then I was like I never want to become that. And now I'm in my 30s to become that. And now I'm in my 30s to become that. And now I'm in my 30s and I'm like and I'm like and I'm like >> so I can't just endeavor to become that.

>> so I can't just endeavor to become that. >> so I can't just endeavor to become that. >> I have to actually work on it. >> I have to actually work on it. >> I have to actually work on it. >> Well done. >> Well done. >> Well done. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So step one triage. Step two is like a >> So step one triage. Step two is like a >> So step one triage. Step two is like a period of testing where you purposely period of testing where you purposely period of testing where you purposely put yourself in situations to test and put yourself in situations to test and put yourself in situations to test and build up that muscle. If this was a build up that muscle. If this was a build up that muscle. If this was a fitness and nutrition thing, be like, fitness and nutrition thing, be like, fitness and nutrition thing, be like, step one, stop eating junk food every step one, stop eating junk food every step one, stop eating junk food every night. Step two, get in the gym and night. Step two, get in the gym and night. Step two, get in the gym and build muscles that have never existed build muscles that have never existed build muscles that have never existed before. before. before. >> And then step three >> And then step three >> And then step three >> is to reflect on your emotional response >> is to reflect on your emotional response >> is to reflect on your emotional response when things do go poorly. when things do go poorly. when things do go poorly. >> And this is the stage that I'm in right >> And this is the stage that I'm in right >> And this is the stage that I'm in right now. So, let's talk about a few actual now. So, let's talk about a few actual now. So, let's talk about a few actual stories of this happening. When we were stories of this happening. When we were stories of this happening. When we were in New Zealand, Tristan, one of our in New Zealand, Tristan, one of our in New Zealand, Tristan, one of our employees and I um made the commitment employees and I um made the commitment employees and I um made the commitment to each other like, "Hey, no matter what to each other like, "Hey, no matter what to each other like, "Hey, no matter what happens on this trip, we are going to happens on this trip, we are going to happens on this trip, we are going to practice being unbothered. practice being unbothered. practice being unbothered. >> We are not going to allow things that go >> We are not going to allow things that go >> We are not going to allow things that go against our expectations, plans falling against our expectations, plans falling against our expectations, plans falling through, whatever it might be, we are through, whatever it might be, we are through, whatever it might be, we are going to practice being unbothered." And going to practice being unbothered." And going to practice being unbothered." And as often is the case when you go, "Lord, as often is the case when you go, "Lord, as often is the case when you go, "Lord, I'm ready for a test." He goes, "Let's I'm ready for a test." He goes, "Let's I'm ready for a test." He goes, "Let's do it." And a lot of things went wrong do it." And a lot of things went wrong do it." And a lot of things went wrong on this trip. You know, we were really on this trip. You know, we were really on this trip. You know, we were really excited to do to go skydiving for the excited to do to go skydiving for the excited to do to go skydiving for the first time. And on three separate first time. And on three separate first time. And on three separate occasions in three separate cities, it occasions in three separate cities, it occasions in three separate cities, it was canceled because of weather. I was was canceled because of weather. I was was canceled because of weather. I was like, "Oh, that's a bit of a bummer."

like, "Oh, that's a bit of a bummer." like, "Oh, that's a bit of a bummer." Choosing to be unbothered. We had no Choosing to be unbothered. We had no Choosing to be unbothered. We had no control over this. Um, we got stuck in control over this. Um, we got stuck in control over this. Um, we got stuck in Milford Sound. Apparently, eight days of Milford Sound. Apparently, eight days of Milford Sound. Apparently, eight days of the year the road closes. Three of the the year the road closes. Three of the the year the road closes. Three of the days we were there, it was closed. We days we were there, it was closed. We days we were there, it was closed. We couldn't leave. We were stuck there. couldn't leave. We were stuck there. couldn't leave. We were stuck there. Couldn't do anything. And then I got a Couldn't do anything. And then I got a Couldn't do anything. And then I got a fever and was very, very sick. I don't fever and was very, very sick. I don't fever and was very, very sick. I don't remember the last time I got a fever. remember the last time I got a fever. remember the last time I got a fever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Choosing to be unbothered. The rain and >> Choosing to be unbothered. The rain and >> Choosing to be unbothered. The rain and the weather consistently got in the way the weather consistently got in the way the weather consistently got in the way of our filming. Okay, choosing to be of our filming. Okay, choosing to be of our filming. Okay, choosing to be unbothered, whatever it was, because unbothered, whatever it was, because unbothered, whatever it was, because these weren't actually like that big of these weren't actually like that big of these weren't actually like that big of things, you know, like, "Oh, I was sick things, you know, like, "Oh, I was sick things, you know, like, "Oh, I was sick for a few days. You get better." Okay, for a few days. You get better." Okay, for a few days. You get better." Okay, you're stuck in a beautiful national you're stuck in a beautiful national you're stuck in a beautiful national park. Woe was you. You know, you you get park. Woe was you. You know, you you get park. Woe was you. You know, you you get out eventually. But out eventually. But out eventually. But >> in the moment, you're like, "Oh my >> in the moment, you're like, "Oh my >> in the moment, you're like, "Oh my goodness, this holiday, this trip, this goodness, this holiday, this trip, this goodness, this holiday, this trip, this work is being affected." And it's tends work is being affected." And it's tends work is being affected." And it's tends to be the little things that like bother to be the little things that like bother to be the little things that like bother me at least. I remember a moment with my me at least. I remember a moment with my me at least. I remember a moment with my wife that like wife that like wife that like >> truly marked me. And it's funny the >> truly marked me. And it's funny the >> truly marked me. And it's funny the things that you choose to remember, but things that you choose to remember, but things that you choose to remember, but we were going to dinner one night, date we were going to dinner one night, date we were going to dinner one night, date night, at a restaurant that is literally night, at a restaurant that is literally night, at a restaurant that is literally less than a mile away from our house. less than a mile away from our house. less than a mile away from our house. And this restaurant famously is busy and And this restaurant famously is busy and And this restaurant famously is busy and famously has no parking. And so I famously has no parking. And so I famously has no parking. And so I remember driving up and there was no remember driving up and there was no remember driving up and there was no parking and I was like getting flustered parking and I was like getting flustered parking and I was like getting flustered and like not an emotionally stable man and like not an emotionally stable man and like not an emotionally stable man in that moment because of a parking in that moment because of a parking in that moment because of a parking situation.

situation. situation. >> And I remember my wife the next day >> And I remember my wife the next day >> And I remember my wife the next day being like, "What was that? being like, "What was that? being like, "What was that? >> This is embarrassing for you." >> This is embarrassing for you." >> This is embarrassing for you." >> It was embarrassing for me. And I still >> It was embarrassing for me. And I still >> It was embarrassing for me. And I still look back on it as embarrassing because look back on it as embarrassing because look back on it as embarrassing because I was like, I was like, I was like, >> good question. What was that? And I >> good question. What was that? And I >> good question. What was that? And I realized like, okay, that's the realized like, okay, that's the realized like, okay, that's the emotional stability, instability in like emotional stability, instability in like emotional stability, instability in like a place where you have no control. And a place where you have no control. And a place where you have no control. And you were not able to just handle that in you were not able to just handle that in you were not able to just handle that in like a calm and collected way. And maybe like a calm and collected way. And maybe like a calm and collected way. And maybe this is just like maybe this is unique this is just like maybe this is unique this is just like maybe this is unique to like to like to like >> what I want to be as a man and like the >> what I want to be as a man and like the >> what I want to be as a man and like the masculine side of life, but like I want masculine side of life, but like I want masculine side of life, but like I want to be able to be relied on. I want to be to be able to be relied on. I want to be to be able to be relied on. I want to be like consistently emotionally stable like consistently emotionally stable like consistently emotionally stable because for my two daughters and for my because for my two daughters and for my because for my two daughters and for my wife like I want that them to know that wife like I want that them to know that wife like I want that them to know that they can count on me for that. they can count on me for that. they can count on me for that. Apparently you can't because if my Apparently you can't because if my Apparently you can't because if my parking spot is not available I'll have parking spot is not available I'll have parking spot is not available I'll have a meltdown. a meltdown. a meltdown. And so when we were in New Zealand we're And so when we were in New Zealand we're And so when we were in New Zealand we're like okay anytime we feel bothered we're like okay anytime we feel bothered we're like okay anytime we feel bothered we're going to talk about it. We're going to going to talk about it. We're going to going to talk about it. We're going to take these as like moments to say okay I take these as like moments to say okay I take these as like moments to say okay I am responding poorly despite my stated am responding poorly despite my stated am responding poorly despite my stated value. Just want to tell you a couple value. Just want to tell you a couple value. Just want to tell you a couple times that I lost my mind. Okay, I have times that I lost my mind. Okay, I have times that I lost my mind. Okay, I have a few, you know, just just things that a few, you know, just just things that a few, you know, just just things that will set me off. The first one is when will set me off. The first one is when will set me off. The first one is when and the most important one is when tech and the most important one is when tech and the most important one is when tech does not work because I have come to does not work because I have come to does not work because I have come to terms with the humans of the world.

terms with the humans of the world. terms with the humans of the world. >> Of course, >> Of course, >> Of course, >> not behaving according to just the >> not behaving according to just the >> not behaving according to just the generally agreed upon ways of society. generally agreed upon ways of society. generally agreed upon ways of society. Okay, like we we agree to this, right? Okay, like we we agree to this, right? Okay, like we we agree to this, right? Societ, we're all going to agree with Societ, we're all going to agree with Societ, we're all going to agree with this. You're not. Okay, you're just this. You're not. Okay, you're just this. You're not. Okay, you're just going to do what you want. Okay, great. going to do what you want. Okay, great. going to do what you want. Okay, great. Humans with their agency will make those Humans with their agency will make those Humans with their agency will make those strange decisions. But tech is meant to strange decisions. But tech is meant to strange decisions. But tech is meant to be my faithful servant. That's right. be my faithful servant. That's right. be my faithful servant. That's right. >> And so when it fails me, I can get a >> And so when it fails me, I can get a >> And so when it fails me, I can get a little bit little bit little bit >> not unbothered, very bothered. So we >> not unbothered, very bothered. So we >> not unbothered, very bothered. So we were in Hong Kong and we had a great were in Hong Kong and we had a great were in Hong Kong and we had a great day. We had a 7-hour layover. day. We had a 7-hour layover. day. We had a 7-hour layover. >> No longer in New Zealand, so you were >> No longer in New Zealand, so you were >> No longer in New Zealand, so you were allowed to be bothered, allowed to be bothered, allowed to be bothered, >> right? Right. So we're in Hong Kong. We >> right? Right. So we're in Hong Kong. We >> right? Right. So we're in Hong Kong. We had a 7-hour layover and we had like had a 7-hour layover and we had like had a 7-hour layover and we had like filled in so many things in those seven filled in so many things in those seven filled in so many things in those seven hours. Just like a perfect time. And we hours. Just like a perfect time. And we hours. Just like a perfect time. And we were going to take the airport express were going to take the airport express were going to take the airport express train back from the downtown city center train back from the downtown city center train back from the downtown city center to the airport, which is about half an to the airport, which is about half an to the airport, which is about half an hour away. So, we arrive at the airport hour away. So, we arrive at the airport hour away. So, we arrive at the airport express and we just have to pay for our express and we just have to pay for our express and we just have to pay for our two tickets. two tickets. two tickets. >> Easy. No stress. >> Easy. No stress. >> Easy. No stress. >> The thing about Hong Kong, and I knew >> The thing about Hong Kong, and I knew >> The thing about Hong Kong, and I knew this because I planned, is that they're this because I planned, is that they're this because I planned, is that they're not super friendly with credit cards and not super friendly with credit cards and not super friendly with credit cards and payment methods that are not their own, payment methods that are not their own, payment methods that are not their own, right? Like this is China, and so they right? Like this is China, and so they right? Like this is China, and so they have two ways that most places prefer.

have two ways that most places prefer. have two ways that most places prefer. Cash Cash Cash >> and the Octopus card. >> and the Octopus card. >> and the Octopus card. >> The Octopus card is kind of like their >> The Octopus card is kind of like their >> The Octopus card is kind of like their like way of like loading money into a like way of like loading money into a like way of like loading money into a card and paying with it. So, like we card and paying with it. So, like we card and paying with it. So, like we went and got noodles for dinner and it went and got noodles for dinner and it went and got noodles for dinner and it was like written on a sign like cash or was like written on a sign like cash or was like written on a sign like cash or octopus and that was pretty familiar. octopus and that was pretty familiar. octopus and that was pretty familiar. So, I go up to the terminal where you So, I go up to the terminal where you So, I go up to the terminal where you can pay for cash and the cost of the two can pay for cash and the cost of the two can pay for cash and the cost of the two tickets was like 250 Hong Kong dollars. tickets was like 250 Hong Kong dollars. tickets was like 250 Hong Kong dollars. The Canadian exchange rate is like one The Canadian exchange rate is like one The Canadian exchange rate is like one sixth of that. So, the American exchange sixth of that. So, the American exchange sixth of that. So, the American exchange rate is like 1/10enth of that, let's rate is like 1/10enth of that, let's rate is like 1/10enth of that, let's say. So, 250 bucks for two tickets on say. So, 250 bucks for two tickets on say. So, 250 bucks for two tickets on the airport express. the airport express. the airport express. >> And luckily, I have cash. I have like >> And luckily, I have cash. I have like >> And luckily, I have cash. I have like 200 No, I have like 750 Hong Kong 200 No, I have like 750 Hong Kong 200 No, I have like 750 Hong Kong dollars. So, I take my $500 Hong Kong dollars. So, I take my $500 Hong Kong dollars. So, I take my $500 Hong Kong dollar slip bill and I put it in and dollar slip bill and I put it in and dollar slip bill and I put it in and they go, "Sorry, we don't accept $500." they go, "Sorry, we don't accept $500." they go, "Sorry, we don't accept $500." I'm like, "Okay, but the $200 is the I'm like, "Okay, but the $200 is the I'm like, "Okay, but the $200 is the next allowed denomination." And just two next allowed denomination." And just two next allowed denomination." And just two tickets costs more than $200. So, tickets costs more than $200. So, tickets costs more than $200. So, >> what you're charging for is almost >> what you're charging for is almost >> what you're charging for is almost always more than the maximum always more than the maximum always more than the maximum denomination you have. Okay, fine. I denomination you have. Okay, fine. I denomination you have. Okay, fine. I start putting in I have enough money. start putting in I have enough money. start putting in I have enough money. And then what happens is one of the And then what happens is one of the And then what happens is one of the bills, they're like, "We hate this bills, they're like, "We hate this bills, they're like, "We hate this bill." And I had exactly $250. So, I was bill." And I had exactly $250. So, I was bill." And I had exactly $250. So, I was like, "Okay, great. I can't pay. No like, "Okay, great. I can't pay. No like, "Okay, great. I can't pay. No worries." Uh, okay. I look around and worries." Uh, okay. I look around and worries." Uh, okay. I look around and there's like, okay, oh, a QR code. Okay.

there's like, okay, oh, a QR code. Okay. there's like, okay, oh, a QR code. Okay. I scan the QR code. I download the app I scan the QR code. I download the app I scan the QR code. I download the app just to pay for the airport express. So, just to pay for the airport express. So, just to pay for the airport express. So, I go into the airport express app and I I go into the airport express app and I I go into the airport express app and I set up my two tickets and I go to press set up my two tickets and I go to press set up my two tickets and I go to press pay. And then our bank is like, I don't pay. And then our bank is like, I don't pay. And then our bank is like, I don't know what you're trying to do, know what you're trying to do, know what you're trying to do, >> but you need to verify. And our our bank >> but you need to verify. And our our bank >> but you need to verify. And our our bank has recently changed how they verify. has recently changed how they verify. has recently changed how they verify. They will no longer accept 2FAS. They They will no longer accept 2FAS. They They will no longer accept 2FAS. They will no longer text you a code. They will no longer text you a code. They will no longer text you a code. They want you to open up their app and then want you to open up their app and then want you to open up their app and then accept the pro uh the prompt in the app. accept the pro uh the prompt in the app. accept the pro uh the prompt in the app. Like, no worries. So, I go to open up Like, no worries. So, I go to open up Like, no worries. So, I go to open up the app. The app won't open because the app. The app won't open because the app. The app won't open because they're like, "We don't know where you they're like, "We don't know where you they're like, "We don't know where you are, but are, but are, but >> you're not allowed to open that app >> you're not allowed to open that app >> you're not allowed to open that app here." And I go, "Okay, what?" So, here." And I go, "Okay, what?" So, here." And I go, "Okay, what?" So, eventually, I turn on the VPN. I turn on eventually, I turn on the VPN. I turn on eventually, I turn on the VPN. I turn on the VPN and I go into the app and I the VPN and I go into the app and I the VPN and I go into the app and I accept the payment. accept the payment. accept the payment. >> And now, I have my two tickets. Okay. >> And now, I have my two tickets. Okay. >> And now, I have my two tickets. Okay. So, I have my two tickets. I don't get So, I have my two tickets. I don't get So, I have my two tickets. I don't get the email for them. No email. This a the email for them. No email. This a the email for them. No email. This a transactional email that shouldn't be in transactional email that shouldn't be in transactional email that shouldn't be in spam. Transactional emails should go spam. Transactional emails should go spam. Transactional emails should go through any email filter. Nope, it's in through any email filter. Nope, it's in through any email filter. Nope, it's in spam. I have to open up the Gmail app spam. I have to open up the Gmail app spam. I have to open up the Gmail app because my airmail app is trash and because my airmail app is trash and because my airmail app is trash and cannot find spam. I have to open up the cannot find spam. I have to open up the cannot find spam. I have to open up the Gmail. I haven't logged in in a long Gmail. I haven't logged in in a long Gmail. I haven't logged in in a long time. 2FA that go to spam. Find the time. 2FA that go to spam. Find the time. 2FA that go to spam. Find the tickets. Okay, they're in a PDF and tickets. Okay, they're in a PDF and tickets. Okay, they're in a PDF and there are these two QR codes so that we there are these two QR codes so that we there are these two QR codes so that we can get through the automated like turn can get through the automated like turn can get through the automated like turn styles.

styles. styles. >> Easy. Just scan them and go. >> Easy. Just scan them and go. >> Easy. Just scan them and go. >> Let's go. Let's go. The train is now >> Let's go. Let's go. The train is now >> Let's go. Let's go. The train is now here. It holds for 5 minutes. That's here. It holds for 5 minutes. That's here. It holds for 5 minutes. That's fine. That's fine. At this point, fine. That's fine. At this point, fine. That's fine. At this point, Tristan is realizing what's happening. I Tristan is realizing what's happening. I Tristan is realizing what's happening. I am having a meltdown. And he's like, "We am having a meltdown. And he's like, "We am having a meltdown. And he's like, "We can just go over to that terminal over can just go over to that terminal over can just go over to that terminal over there." And I was like, I can't go over there." And I was like, I can't go over there." And I was like, I can't go over to the terminal and talk to the lady to to the terminal and talk to the lady to to the terminal and talk to the lady to get the tickets and use my credit card get the tickets and use my credit card get the tickets and use my credit card because I'm pretty sure I've completed because I'm pretty sure I've completed because I'm pretty sure I've completed this transaction already. this transaction already. this transaction already. Secretly, the reason was I'm a man and I Secretly, the reason was I'm a man and I Secretly, the reason was I'm a man and I will not ask for directions, right? will not ask for directions, right? will not ask for directions, right? Let's be honest. So, I get the QR code Let's be honest. So, I get the QR code Let's be honest. So, I get the QR code and I'm holding it up to the scanner on and I'm holding it up to the scanner on and I'm holding it up to the scanner on the automated turnstyle, but it won't the automated turnstyle, but it won't the automated turnstyle, but it won't scan because this PDF reader that is in scan because this PDF reader that is in scan because this PDF reader that is in the browser of this, you know, whatever the browser of this, you know, whatever the browser of this, you know, whatever thing has this navigation bar that thing has this navigation bar that thing has this navigation bar that overlaps with the QR code. So, at this overlaps with the QR code. So, at this overlaps with the QR code. So, at this point, I am using my two fingers to zoom point, I am using my two fingers to zoom point, I am using my two fingers to zoom in to pull the QR code out of the space in to pull the QR code out of the space in to pull the QR code out of the space of the navigation bar and then without of the navigation bar and then without of the navigation bar and then without looking, hold it up against the scanner. looking, hold it up against the scanner. looking, hold it up against the scanner. First scanner will not read. The lady First scanner will not read. The lady First scanner will not read. The lady goes, "Try the next one." Second scanner goes, "Try the next one." Second scanner goes, "Try the next one." Second scanner does not read. Third scanner does not does not read. Third scanner does not does not read. Third scanner does not read. Fourth scanner does not read. Two read. Fourth scanner does not read. Two read. Fourth scanner does not read. Two minutes till the train is departing. I minutes till the train is departing. I minutes till the train is departing. I finally get it to go. Tristan, run finally get it to go. Tristan, run finally get it to go. Tristan, run through the turn style. Now it's me through the turn style. Now it's me through the turn style. Now it's me again doing it on my own. Holding it, again doing it on my own. Holding it, again doing it on my own. Holding it, holding it until it finally accepts mine holding it until it finally accepts mine holding it until it finally accepts mine and I walk through. I sit down on the and I walk through. I sit down on the and I walk through. I sit down on the train and I am like fuming. And train and I am like fuming. And train and I am like fuming. And Tristan's like, you know, we got to be Tristan's like, you know, we got to be Tristan's like, you know, we got to be unbothered. And I was like, why would unbothered. And I was like, why would unbothered. And I was like, why would tech do this to me?

tech do this to me? tech do this to me? >> How could tech fail me on so many >> How could tech fail me on so many >> How could tech fail me on so many levels? Like seven different things all levels? Like seven different things all levels? Like seven different things all went wrong. And in that moment, I was went wrong. And in that moment, I was went wrong. And in that moment, I was not unbothered. How did you receive uh not unbothered. How did you receive uh not unbothered. How did you receive uh Tristan's encouragement to in that Tristan's encouragement to in that Tristan's encouragement to in that moment uh be unbothered? moment uh be unbothered? moment uh be unbothered? >> Well, it was good because this was day >> Well, it was good because this was day >> Well, it was good because this was day 14 of the trip and we wanted to see any 14 of the trip and we wanted to see any 14 of the trip and we wanted to see any other human on earth aside from each other human on earth aside from each other human on earth aside from each other. And it was really like the great other. And it was really like the great other. And it was really like the great testing ground for this testing ground for this testing ground for this >> because like when you get pushed to your >> because like when you get pushed to your >> because like when you get pushed to your limits, you will always like go to limits, you will always like go to limits, you will always like go to what's familiar to you and comfortable, what's familiar to you and comfortable, what's familiar to you and comfortable, not rise to your ideals. And in that not rise to your ideals. And in that not rise to your ideals. And in that moment, it was a really good teaching moment, it was a really good teaching moment, it was a really good teaching experience because I usually am pretty experience because I usually am pretty experience because I usually am pretty good like give me enough distance in good like give me enough distance in good like give me enough distance in terms of like even 10 minutes and I can terms of like even 10 minutes and I can terms of like even 10 minutes and I can like okay how do we avoid this happening like okay how do we avoid this happening like okay how do we avoid this happening again cuz I said to Tristan I was like again cuz I said to Tristan I was like again cuz I said to Tristan I was like what do I do? Tech is supposed to be my what do I do? Tech is supposed to be my what do I do? Tech is supposed to be my faithful servant. He's like right but faithful servant. He's like right but faithful servant. He's like right but tech doesn't always work. And I was like tech doesn't always work. And I was like tech doesn't always work. And I was like but that's not the point of tech. And but that's not the point of tech. And but that's not the point of tech. And like what he was saying was you need to like what he was saying was you need to like what he was saying was you need to like fully re-evaluate how you just like like fully re-evaluate how you just like like fully re-evaluate how you just like accept tech in your life. You need to accept tech in your life. You need to accept tech in your life. You need to treat it like another human. I did not treat it like another human. I did not treat it like another human. I did not mean for that to be the longest story mean for that to be the longest story mean for that to be the longest story ever, but uh hopefully it was ever, but uh hopefully it was ever, but uh hopefully it was illustrative of this issue. One more illustrative of this issue. One more illustrative of this issue. One more version of this for me where I prove version of this for me where I prove version of this for me where I prove myself to be very bothered is driving on myself to be very bothered is driving on myself to be very bothered is driving on the road. And well, that involves other the road. And well, that involves other the road. And well, that involves other humans.

humans. humans. >> I don't know if we have we talked about >> I don't know if we have we talked about >> I don't know if we have we talked about it in this podcast. Perhaps we have, but it in this podcast. Perhaps we have, but it in this podcast. Perhaps we have, but like my belief is that if you're in a like my belief is that if you're in a like my belief is that if you're in a car with someone and they are like car with someone and they are like car with someone and they are like noticeably irritable, it's just a really noticeably irritable, it's just a really noticeably irritable, it's just a really gross look on them. Like it just shows gross look on them. Like it just shows gross look on them. Like it just shows that like you cannot handle even like that like you cannot handle even like that like you cannot handle even like the smallest inconveniences. So the the smallest inconveniences. So the the smallest inconveniences. So the other day we were like driving through other day we were like driving through other day we were like driving through some construction and it was on this some construction and it was on this some construction and it was on this giant bridge and we were all obeying the giant bridge and we were all obeying the giant bridge and we were all obeying the rules of the road and we were rules of the road and we were rules of the road and we were coordinating our zipper merge. Okay. coordinating our zipper merge. Okay. coordinating our zipper merge. Okay. Zipper merge. Zipper merge. Zipper Zipper merge. Zipper merge. Zipper Zipper merge. Zipper merge. Zipper merge. One at a time. merge. One at a time. merge. One at a time. >> So this guy lets me in. Um great. Sorry. >> So this guy lets me in. Um great. Sorry. >> So this guy lets me in. Um great. Sorry. He lets in the person ahead of him. He lets in the person ahead of him. He lets in the person ahead of him. Great. So my turn is behind him. the Great. So my turn is behind him. the Great. So my turn is behind him. the person behind me decides to merge first person behind me decides to merge first person behind me decides to merge first and then they decide not to let me merge and then they decide not to let me merge and then they decide not to let me merge in. And I'm like, you were in the same in. And I'm like, you were in the same in. And I'm like, you were in the same lane as me. lane as me. lane as me. >> I will had the right of way. Even if you >> I will had the right of way. Even if you >> I will had the right of way. Even if you zoom merge first, at least give me still zoom merge first, at least give me still zoom merge first, at least give me still my space. He was just making up rules as my space. He was just making up rules as my space. He was just making up rules as he went and I was like bother. I was he went and I was like bother. I was he went and I was like bother. I was like, "Okay, whatever." And so I said I like, "Okay, whatever." And so I said I like, "Okay, whatever." And so I said I think I said something cuz my wife and think I said something cuz my wife and think I said something cuz my wife and kids were in the car. We were coming kids were in the car. We were coming kids were in the car. We were coming home from like seeing my my sister and I home from like seeing my my sister and I home from like seeing my my sister and I said something. said something. said something. >> I gave him the finger.

>> I gave him the finger. >> I gave him the finger. >> No, no, no, no, no. It was something it >> No, no, no, no, no. It was something it >> No, no, no, no, no. It was something it was something as simple as like it's a was something as simple as like it's a was something as simple as like it's a strange idea for you to have. So then we strange idea for you to have. So then we strange idea for you to have. So then we get higher up the construction and now get higher up the construction and now get higher up the construction and now the next lane is merging in but now I am the next lane is merging in but now I am the next lane is merging in but now I am in the lane I'm allow I allow the zipper in the lane I'm allow I allow the zipper in the lane I'm allow I allow the zipper and then a person decides to push past and then a person decides to push past and then a person decides to push past as the second person. I was like you as the second person. I was like you as the second person. I was like you didn't have room there. didn't have room there. didn't have room there. >> That's but that's fine. That's fine. >> That's but that's fine. That's fine. >> That's but that's fine. That's fine. >> At that point I think we're done. >> At that point I think we're done. >> At that point I think we're done. There's no room left in this lane. It's There's no room left in this lane. It's There's no room left in this lane. It's just pylons. This third person comes just pylons. This third person comes just pylons. This third person comes screaming in comes in front of me. I lay screaming in comes in front of me. I lay screaming in comes in front of me. I lay on the brakes to make sure I don't hit on the brakes to make sure I don't hit on the brakes to make sure I don't hit them and I give them a horn honk and I them and I give them a horn honk and I them and I give them a horn honk and I go what is happening? So, like, you go what is happening? So, like, you go what is happening? So, like, you know, nothing too crazy. Like, this was know, nothing too crazy. Like, this was know, nothing too crazy. Like, this was not road rage, but it was like not road rage, but it was like not road rage, but it was like irritability. And I thought to myself, I irritability. And I thought to myself, I irritability. And I thought to myself, I was like, if I'm my 10-year-old daughter was like, if I'm my 10-year-old daughter was like, if I'm my 10-year-old daughter in the back seat, in the back seat, in the back seat, >> how do I feel when I see my dad being >> how do I feel when I see my dad being >> how do I feel when I see my dad being irritable on the road? Like, that's just irritable on the road? Like, that's just irritable on the road? Like, that's just not a look I need to ever show. not a look I need to ever show. not a look I need to ever show. >> And I thought to myself, I was like, I >> And I thought to myself, I was like, I >> And I thought to myself, I was like, I need to be unbothered on the road no need to be unbothered on the road no need to be unbothered on the road no matter what. Like, unless someone like matter what. Like, unless someone like matter what. Like, unless someone like is threatening our life and I go, whoa, is threatening our life and I go, whoa, is threatening our life and I go, whoa, or something like that, there should be or something like that, there should be or something like that, there should be no irritability on people disobeying, no irritability on people disobeying, no irritability on people disobeying, merging. And yet I think for a lot of merging. And yet I think for a lot of merging. And yet I think for a lot of guys listening and and maybe gals I'm guys listening and and maybe gals I'm guys listening and and maybe gals I'm not a gal so I cannot like you know not a gal so I cannot like you know not a gal so I cannot like you know suppose that you also get angry when the suppose that you also get angry when the suppose that you also get angry when the rules of the road are negated rules of the road are negated rules of the road are negated >> like that just shows so much like >> like that just shows so much like >> like that just shows so much like emotional instability or at least room emotional instability or at least room emotional instability or at least room for growth for me as a leader and these for growth for me as a leader and these for growth for me as a leader and these types of things show up in church as types of things show up in church as types of things show up in church as well you know when like little things well you know when like little things well you know when like little things happen maybe it's like the sound not happen maybe it's like the sound not happen maybe it's like the sound not working right and I have seen pastors in working right and I have seen pastors in working right and I have seen pastors in my life you know get noticeably my life you know get noticeably my life you know get noticeably irritable because like oh the sound irritable because like oh the sound irritable because like oh the sound isn't going right and they realize isn't going right and they realize isn't going right and they realize Sunday service is not going to go off Sunday service is not going to go off Sunday service is not going to go off how I wanted it to And that's going to how I wanted it to And that's going to how I wanted it to And that's going to be a poor reflection on me. And because be a poor reflection on me. And because be a poor reflection on me. And because of that, I am getting emotionally of that, I am getting emotionally of that, I am getting emotionally irritable and everyone's watching.

irritable and everyone's watching. irritable and everyone's watching. >> And those things, I know this is a >> And those things, I know this is a >> And those things, I know this is a roundabout way of approaching this roundabout way of approaching this roundabout way of approaching this episode title, but like those things episode title, but like those things episode title, but like those things affect how long people stay affect how long people stay affect how long people stay involunteering and it slowly erodess. involunteering and it slowly erodess. involunteering and it slowly erodess. One day they just they just say, "Oh, One day they just they just say, "Oh, One day they just they just say, "Oh, you know what? Like I'm just not able to you know what? Like I'm just not able to you know what? Like I'm just not able to like have room for this in my life like have room for this in my life like have room for this in my life anymore." anymore." anymore." >> And how often is it because over the >> And how often is it because over the >> And how often is it because over the weeks and the months of the years, weeks and the months of the years, weeks and the months of the years, they've just lost faith in this leader they've just lost faith in this leader they've just lost faith in this leader overall because of these small things. overall because of these small things. overall because of these small things. And it's made them less excited to And it's made them less excited to And it's made them less excited to serve. Because the volunteers that I serve. Because the volunteers that I serve. Because the volunteers that I have seen in church who are most excited have seen in church who are most excited have seen in church who are most excited to be there are because they're like the to be there are because they're like the to be there are because they're like the person who is leading this church and person who is leading this church and person who is leading this church and the elder board that is leading this the elder board that is leading this the elder board that is leading this church, they all love Jesus. They have church, they all love Jesus. They have church, they all love Jesus. They have such a strong vision and they've such a strong vision and they've such a strong vision and they've inspired me. I want to be a part of inspired me. I want to be a part of inspired me. I want to be a part of that. That gets eroded when time and that. That gets eroded when time and that. That gets eroded when time and time again that person shows themselves time again that person shows themselves time again that person shows themselves to be emotionally instable. to be emotionally instable. to be emotionally instable. >> Unstable. >> Unstable. >> Unstable. >> Yeah, that's certainly true. And to the episode title, to the episode title, something that's at stake here is the something that's at stake here is the something that's at stake here is the service of people in the church for service of people in the church for service of people in the church for sure. And that matters. sure. And that matters. sure. And that matters. >> To take this like to the furthest >> To take this like to the furthest >> To take this like to the furthest degree, what could be at stake here is degree, what could be at stake here is degree, what could be at stake here is not just someone's relationship to not just someone's relationship to not just someone's relationship to volunteering or serving your church, but volunteering or serving your church, but volunteering or serving your church, but someone's relationship to the church, someone's relationship to the church, someone's relationship to the church, capital C church at all. You know, capital C church at all. You know, capital C church at all. You know, that's like that's the most ugly that's like that's the most ugly that's like that's the most ugly manifestation of emotionally unstable or manifestation of emotionally unstable or manifestation of emotionally unstable or immature leader is that not only do you immature leader is that not only do you immature leader is that not only do you push people away from from serving, push people away from from serving, push people away from from serving, playing in the band, doing the lights or playing in the band, doing the lights or playing in the band, doing the lights or whatever, but what's at stake here could whatever, but what's at stake here could whatever, but what's at stake here could be at stake here is pushing folks away be at stake here is pushing folks away be at stake here is pushing folks away from participation in the church at all.

from participation in the church at all. from participation in the church at all. And so emotional And so emotional And so emotional stability and maturity is a matter of stability and maturity is a matter of stability and maturity is a matter of pastoral care at the end of the day. um pastoral care at the end of the day. um pastoral care at the end of the day. um caring for your volunteers certainly, caring for your volunteers certainly, caring for your volunteers certainly, but caring for their relationship to the but caring for their relationship to the but caring for their relationship to the church and ultimately to God. Um there church and ultimately to God. Um there church and ultimately to God. Um there are folks in our church right now who are folks in our church right now who are folks in our church right now who are in a season of like are in a season of like are in a season of like >> triaging their wounds from another >> triaging their wounds from another >> triaging their wounds from another church from a very emotional church from a very emotional church from a very emotional >> um unstable leader to the point where >> um unstable leader to the point where >> um unstable leader to the point where like it it kind of like transcended into like it it kind of like transcended into like it it kind of like transcended into verbal abuse in a in a in a volunteer verbal abuse in a in a in a volunteer verbal abuse in a in a in a volunteer relationship. And I just thank God that relationship. And I just thank God that relationship. And I just thank God that they have found safe haven in a church they have found safe haven in a church they have found safe haven in a church because because because >> to their credit like they could have >> to their credit like they could have >> to their credit like they could have just left the church altogether with the just left the church altogether with the just left the church altogether with the way they were treated because way they were treated because way they were treated because >> because the the leader just needed to >> because the the leader just needed to >> because the the leader just needed to tend to some stuff within themsel and so tend to some stuff within themsel and so tend to some stuff within themsel and so what great responsibility we have as what great responsibility we have as what great responsibility we have as leaders in church. But your illustration leaders in church. But your illustration leaders in church. But your illustration of, you know, your your um being of, you know, your your um being of, you know, your your um being bothered on the skyway with with your bothered on the skyway with with your bothered on the skyway with with your daughter in the back kind of roots this daughter in the back kind of roots this daughter in the back kind of roots this just in in in life itself, which is, you just in in in life itself, which is, you just in in in life itself, which is, you know, her experience in the car of like know, her experience in the car of like know, her experience in the car of like not an angry father, but like just a not an angry father, but like just a not an angry father, but like just a bothered father by something that would bothered father by something that would bothered father by something that would bother most people who are in control of bother most people who are in control of bother most people who are in control of a motor vehicle. Her her experience of a motor vehicle. Her her experience of a motor vehicle. Her her experience of that is what we're talking about in that is what we're talking about in that is what we're talking about in church. That's how people experience church. That's how people experience church. That's how people experience emotionally unstable leaders in church.

emotionally unstable leaders in church. emotionally unstable leaders in church. And it has repercussions. And so this is And it has repercussions. And so this is And it has repercussions. And so this is a matter of pastoral care in church and a matter of pastoral care in church and a matter of pastoral care in church and for folks who belong to other people for folks who belong to other people for folks who belong to other people whether it's in families um horizontally whether it's in families um horizontally whether it's in families um horizontally or families vertically father to or families vertically father to or families vertically father to daughter mother to son whatever um daughter mother to son whatever um daughter mother to son whatever um husband to wife you know partner to husband to wife you know partner to husband to wife you know partner to partner this as as we get older as we partner this as as we get older as we partner this as as we get older as we mature as people and as followers of mature as people and as followers of mature as people and as followers of Jesus the stakes here are so high and Jesus the stakes here are so high and Jesus the stakes here are so high and and it's not a matter of like well oh I and it's not a matter of like well oh I and it's not a matter of like well oh I I I missed the mark and so like so I I I missed the mark and so like so I I I missed the mark and so like so I have to feel this way about myself. It's have to feel this way about myself. It's have to feel this way about myself. It's like no it's just this is tending. This like no it's just this is tending. This like no it's just this is tending. This is like this is like tending to a is like this is like tending to a is like this is like tending to a garden, right? And so we if we accept we garden, right? And so we if we accept we garden, right? And so we if we accept we get to tend to ourselves in the grace get to tend to ourselves in the grace get to tend to ourselves in the grace and with the the patient the the and with the the patient the the and with the the patient the the patience, the mercy, the loving kindness patience, the mercy, the loving kindness patience, the mercy, the loving kindness of God to tend to us also. But this is of God to tend to us also. But this is of God to tend to us also. But this is just this is this is pruning, right? just this is this is pruning, right? just this is this is pruning, right? This is tending to um these things in This is tending to um these things in This is tending to um these things in our life that ought to be cut off so our life that ought to be cut off so our life that ought to be cut off so that we can bear more fruit for the that we can bear more fruit for the that we can bear more fruit for the people who depend on us, our families, people who depend on us, our families, people who depend on us, our families, our our wives, our husbands, our our our our wives, our husbands, our our our our wives, our husbands, our our children, and of course ultimately our children, and of course ultimately our children, and of course ultimately our church. Yeah, this isn't a parenting church. Yeah, this isn't a parenting church. Yeah, this isn't a parenting podcast or a marriage podcast, which is podcast or a marriage podcast, which is podcast or a marriage podcast, which is why I haven't approached all of this why I haven't approached all of this why I haven't approached all of this through that lens. But it's worth saying through that lens. But it's worth saying through that lens. But it's worth saying for me all of this is actually happening for me all of this is actually happening for me all of this is actually happening first in the context of my marriage and first in the context of my marriage and first in the context of my marriage and my you know being a father before it my you know being a father before it my you know being a father before it happens in the organization I lead or in happens in the organization I lead or in happens in the organization I lead or in my church. But speaking to that family my church. But speaking to that family my church. But speaking to that family or couple that's in your church right or couple that's in your church right or couple that's in your church right now like think about how much more the now like think about how much more the now like think about how much more the magnifying glass is on you and the other

magnifying glass is on you and the other magnifying glass is on you and the other leaders in your church because of where leaders in your church because of where leaders in your church because of where they came from on the lookout for okay they came from on the lookout for okay they came from on the lookout for okay things are always great at the things are always great at the things are always great at the beginning. Yeah, beginning. Yeah, beginning. Yeah, >> where might I see any of the clues and >> where might I see any of the clues and >> where might I see any of the clues and things that I saw in my previous things that I saw in my previous things that I saw in my previous experience? And so perhaps you're experience? And so perhaps you're experience? And so perhaps you're listening to this and you are a, you listening to this and you are a, you listening to this and you are a, you know, hey, maybe I'm not a five out of know, hey, maybe I'm not a five out of know, hey, maybe I'm not a five out of 10. I'm like an eight out of 10. This 10. I'm like an eight out of 10. This 10. I'm like an eight out of 10. This this stuff comes a lot more easily to this stuff comes a lot more easily to this stuff comes a lot more easily to me. Thinking about the baggage that me. Thinking about the baggage that me. Thinking about the baggage that people bring into church because of the people bring into church because of the people bring into church because of the existential matters that we deal in and existential matters that we deal in and existential matters that we deal in and how it's it's not just like, oh, I got a how it's it's not just like, oh, I got a how it's it's not just like, oh, I got a bad burger at a restaurant. Like, it's bad burger at a restaurant. Like, it's bad burger at a restaurant. Like, it's like, no, this is the deepest things and like, no, this is the deepest things and like, no, this is the deepest things and that's the stuff that we touch in that's the stuff that we touch in that's the stuff that we touch in church. And so how much more carefully church. And so how much more carefully church. And so how much more carefully and delicately it needs to be treated and delicately it needs to be treated and delicately it needs to be treated and how much more so we as leaders need and how much more so we as leaders need and how much more so we as leaders need to aspire to things that I'm aspiring to aspire to things that I'm aspiring to aspire to things that I'm aspiring to. I want to be accessible. I want to to. I want to be accessible. I want to to. I want to be accessible. I want to be reliable. I want to be responsible. I be reliable. I want to be responsible. I be reliable. I want to be responsible. I want to be unbothered. I think if I can want to be unbothered. I think if I can want to be unbothered. I think if I can aspire to those things, I can become the aspire to those things, I can become the aspire to those things, I can become the type of leader that everyone feels safe type of leader that everyone feels safe type of leader that everyone feels safe around, everyone feels comfortable with, around, everyone feels comfortable with, around, everyone feels comfortable with, but also everyone trusts to be like, but also everyone trusts to be like, but also everyone trusts to be like, hey, he has our best interests at heart.

hey, he has our best interests at heart. hey, he has our best interests at heart. He's a safe person and he's also going He's a safe person and he's also going He's a safe person and he's also going to be a person of integrity and we can to be a person of integrity and we can to be a person of integrity and we can like trust in following him when those like trust in following him when those like trust in following him when those things exist. Asking for volunteers and things exist. Asking for volunteers and things exist. Asking for volunteers and leading a team of volunteers in the long leading a team of volunteers in the long leading a team of volunteers in the long run and not seeing them like drop out run and not seeing them like drop out run and not seeing them like drop out and churn out, those become secondary and churn out, those become secondary and churn out, those become secondary because of the solid foundation that because of the solid foundation that because of the solid foundation that you've built. you've built. you've built. >> Mhm. And for leaders who are like >> Mhm. And for leaders who are like >> Mhm. And for leaders who are like succeeding in this, leaders who are succeeding in this, leaders who are succeeding in this, leaders who are eight of tens right now. eight of tens right now. eight of tens right now. >> Um, >> Um, >> Um, >> imagine >> imagine >> imagine >> I know uh >> I know uh >> I know uh >> this also accentuates the importance of >> this also accentuates the importance of >> this also accentuates the importance of passing this skill on to the folks that passing this skill on to the folks that passing this skill on to the folks that you're leading, you're leading, you're leading, >> to the leaders that are beneath you, >> to the leaders that are beneath you, >> to the leaders that are beneath you, even to the volunteers. You know, you even to the volunteers. You know, you even to the volunteers. You know, you could, if you're a worship pastor, eight could, if you're a worship pastor, eight could, if you're a worship pastor, eight out of 10 in this respect, you could out of 10 in this respect, you could out of 10 in this respect, you could teach your volunteers how to play some teach your volunteers how to play some teach your volunteers how to play some sick lick or like how to be really sick lick or like how to be really sick lick or like how to be really proficient at Proresenter and all these proficient at Proresenter and all these proficient at Proresenter and all these things and that matters. But also don't things and that matters. But also don't things and that matters. But also don't overlook teaching them how to be these overlook teaching them how to be these overlook teaching them how to be these things, right? How to become yes skilled things, right? How to become yes skilled things, right? How to become yes skilled in their vocation and their function at in their vocation and their function at in their vocation and their function at church, but also how how to be church, but also how how to be church, but also how how to be emotionally emotionally emotionally stable people for the sake of everyone stable people for the sake of everyone stable people for the sake of everyone else around them, right?

else around them, right? else around them, right? >> Yeah. You think you hear about people >> Yeah. You think you hear about people >> Yeah. You think you hear about people talking about great churches that talking about great churches that talking about great churches that they're in. Sure, it might be, hey, I they're in. Sure, it might be, hey, I they're in. Sure, it might be, hey, I love how talented and skilled the people love how talented and skilled the people love how talented and skilled the people are around me. I love how committed they are around me. I love how committed they are around me. I love how committed they are. But it almost always comes down to are. But it almost always comes down to are. But it almost always comes down to like the culture here is just different. like the culture here is just different. like the culture here is just different. And that culture is not what you do and And that culture is not what you do and And that culture is not what you do and it's not why you do because we're all it's not why you do because we're all it's not why you do because we're all like motivated by Jesus. It's how you do like motivated by Jesus. It's how you do like motivated by Jesus. It's how you do it and proving that the why is truly it and proving that the why is truly it and proving that the why is truly anchored to the right formation and anchored to the right formation and anchored to the right formation and walking walking walking >> that narrow path. >> that narrow path. >> that narrow path. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Thank you everyone to listening >> Thank you everyone to listening >> Thank you everyone to listening especially to a more transparent episode especially to a more transparent episode especially to a more transparent episode where we talked about my own where we talked about my own where we talked about my own shortcomings. Thank you for your time, shortcomings. Thank you for your time, shortcomings. Thank you for your time, attention, and trust despite me being a attention, and trust despite me being a attention, and trust despite me being a five out of 10. We'll talk to you next five out of 10. We'll talk to you next five out of 10. We'll talk to you next week. I had two churches I was on a call week. I had two churches I was on a call week. I had two churches I was on a call with this week that said, "Yeah, um, a with this week that said, "Yeah, um, a with this week that said, "Yeah, um, a person reached out to us inviting us to person reached out to us inviting us to person reached out to us inviting us to the scheduler and we were like, oh, this the scheduler and we were like, oh, this the scheduler and we were like, oh, this must be spam." And I said, "Why?" Well, must be spam." And I said, "Why?" Well, must be spam." And I said, "Why?" Well, they're like, "Well, um, his last name they're like, "Well, um, his last name they're like, "Well, um, his last name is Asan." is Asan." is Asan." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And I was like, "I'm I'm sorry. >> Yeah. And I was like, "I'm I'm sorry. >> Yeah. And I was like, "I'm I'm sorry. That's his last name. It's literally his That's his last name. It's literally his That's his last name. It's literally his name." name." name." >> They're like, "Wait, so that's a real >> They're like, "Wait, so that's a real >> They're like, "Wait, so that's a real person?" I was like, "Yeah." I slack person?" I was like, "Yeah." I slack person?" I was like, "Yeah." I slack Owen and I'm like, "Hey, man. Just want Owen and I'm like, "Hey, man. Just want Owen and I'm like, "Hey, man. Just want you to know everyone's really been you to know everyone's really been you to know everyone's really been pleased with their onboarding, how pleased with their onboarding, how pleased with their onboarding, how quickly any hiccups are being resolved."

quickly any hiccups are being resolved." quickly any hiccups are being resolved." Also, Also, Also, >> also we're gonna need I sent you some >> also we're gonna need I sent you some >> also we're gonna need I sent you some paperwork to um file for a last name paperwork to um file for a last name paperwork to um file for a last name change. change. change. >> Yeah, like we'll cover it whatever it >> Yeah, like we'll cover it whatever it >> Yeah, like we'll cover it whatever it costs. costs. costs. >> Osman. It's Osman. >> Osman. It's Osman. >> Osman. It's Osman. >> It's not though. Yeah, it's really not.