8 Ways To Deal With Negative Church Staff

leading and serving in church is hard leading and serving in church is hard enough as it is things get even more enough as it is things get even more enough as it is things get even more difficult when you're dealing with difficult when you're dealing with difficult when you're dealing with negative Church staff this might be just negative Church staff this might be just negative Church staff this might be just one person who's a bit of a problem or one person who's a bit of a problem or one person who's a bit of a problem or it might be an overall attitude that's it might be an overall attitude that's it might be an overall attitude that's infected the culture this is eight ways infected the culture this is eight ways infected the culture this is eight ways to deal with negative Church staff to deal with negative Church staff to deal with negative Church staff members members members well hey there and welcome to the pro well hey there and welcome to the pro well hey there and welcome to the pro Church tool show we're here to help you Church tool show we're here to help you Church tool show we're here to help you and your church navigate the biggest and your church navigate the biggest and your church navigate the biggest communication shift in 500 years I'm communication shift in 500 years I'm communication shift in 500 years I'm Brady sh your host I'm joined as always Brady sh your host I'm joined as always Brady sh your host I'm joined as always by my co-host we call him father by my co-host we call him father by my co-host we call him father freestyle it's Alexander Mills hello freestyle it's Alexander Mills hello freestyle it's Alexander Mills hello hello and today we are going through how hello and today we are going through how hello and today we are going through how to deal with a negative Church staff to deal with a negative Church staff to deal with a negative Church staff before we dive into that we got an before we dive into that we got an before we dive into that we got an exciting announcement to make and that exciting announcement to make and that exciting announcement to make and that is that I'm taking up swimming again is that I'm taking up swimming again is that I'm taking up swimming again coming father freestyle you spoken it's coming father freestyle you spoken it's coming father freestyle you spoken it's not related to his ability to spit not related to his ability to spit not related to his ability to spit Rhymes but more his ability to improvise Rhymes but more his ability to improvise Rhymes but more his ability to improvise uh different swimming strokes the uh different swimming strokes the uh different swimming strokes the freestyle was my my racing stroke of freestyle was my my racing stroke of freestyle was my my racing stroke of choice so freestyle just means that choice so freestyle just means that choice so freestyle just means that you're doing front strok right yeah it's you're doing front strok right yeah it's you're doing front strok right yeah it's just you know it's it's the speed just you know it's it's the speed just you know it's it's the speed swimming lingo for it okay swimming lingo for it okay swimming lingo for it okay exciting exciting exciting announcement we have a new product announcement we have a new product announcement we have a new product launching uh very shortly it is launching uh very shortly it is launching uh very shortly it is launching on January the 16th that's the date I was January the 16th that's the date I was going to say 16th and it is called it's going to say 16th and it is called it's going to say 16th and it is called it's got launched the 16th now we've said it got launched the 16th now we've said it got launched the 16th now we've said it so yeah true it is called portraits by so yeah true it is called portraits by so yeah true it is called portraits by social sermons and when I shared uh this social sermons and when I shared uh this social sermons and when I shared uh this new product this new idea with with Alex new product this new idea with with Alex new product this new idea with with Alex um he said something along the lines of um he said something along the lines of um he said something along the lines of how are you doing this I I I said and I

how are you doing this I I I said and I how are you doing this I I I said and I quote how are you going to pull this off quote how are you going to pull this off quote how are you going to pull this off yeah which you know it's a good product yeah which you know it's a good product yeah which you know it's a good product when that's how people are challenging when that's how people are challenging when that's how people are challenging you and basically being like yeah yeah you and basically being like yeah yeah you and basically being like yeah yeah sure it' be great but like but how so sure it' be great but like but how so sure it' be great but like but how so the simple idea for this is custom the simple idea for this is custom the simple idea for this is custom social media content from inperson photo social media content from inperson photo social media content from inperson photo shoots so we will actually how are you shoots so we will actually how are you shoots so we will actually how are you going to pull this off every 90 days going to pull this off every 90 days going to pull this off every 90 days send a photographer to your church to do send a photographer to your church to do send a photographer to your church to do a photo shoot it's not me is it it's not a photo shoot it's not me is it it's not a photo shoot it's not me is it it's not you no no you're still friend link we you no no you're still friend link we you no no you're still friend link we will then use those photos to develop will then use those photos to develop will then use those photos to develop custom social media content for your custom social media content for your custom social media content for your church and then every 90 days we'll church and then every 90 days we'll church and then every 90 days we'll repeat it so that the photos are always repeat it so that the photos are always repeat it so that the photos are always fresh and the social media content is fresh and the social media content is fresh and the social media content is always fresh you can go to social always fresh you can go to social always fresh you can go to social sermons.com sermons.com sermons.com portraits to join the waiting list portraits to join the waiting list portraits to join the waiting list social sermons.com portraits to join the social sermons.com portraits to join the social sermons.com portraits to join the waiting list and uh you can see a little waiting list and uh you can see a little waiting list and uh you can see a little teaser of some examples on there uh and teaser of some examples on there uh and teaser of some examples on there uh and then in the YouTube video that we then in the YouTube video that we then in the YouTube video that we published uh yesterday on the main published uh yesterday on the main published uh yesterday on the main Channel we we we dive in a bit into to Channel we we we dive in a bit into to Channel we we we dive in a bit into to portraits at the very end of that portraits at the very end of that portraits at the very end of that YouTube video but uh it's really YouTube video but uh it's really YouTube video but uh it's really exciting you know one of the things that exciting you know one of the things that exciting you know one of the things that we've always been not able to do is like we've always been not able to do is like we've always been not able to do is like we can only create based on what a we can only create based on what a we can only create based on what a church maybe sends us you know with a church maybe sends us you know with a church maybe sends us you know with a main social sermon subscription which main social sermon subscription which main social sermon subscription which you don't need to sign up for portraits you don't need to sign up for portraits you don't need to sign up for portraits um we're relying on like your video um we're relying on like your video um we're relying on like your video quality your recorded sermon here we quality your recorded sermon here we quality your recorded sermon here we actually will send someone to you and actually will send someone to you and actually will send someone to you and this is going to open up like a whole this is going to open up like a whole this is going to open up like a whole new world of what's possible I haven't new world of what's possible I haven't new world of what's possible I haven't felt this energized about something new felt this energized about something new felt this energized about something new uh well I guess since last socialm we uh well I guess since last socialm we uh well I guess since last socialm we launch social sermons so it's it's

launch social sermons so it's it's launch social sermons so it's it's incredibly exciting uh social incredibly exciting uh social incredibly exciting uh social sermons.com portraits uh we'll have a sermons.com portraits uh we'll have a sermons.com portraits uh we'll have a launch discount for one week only launch discount for one week only launch discount for one week only starting next week January 16th that's starting next week January 16th that's starting next week January 16th that's right for one week only uh limited spots right for one week only uh limited spots right for one week only uh limited spots available we're not I haven't made a available we're not I haven't made a available we're not I haven't made a decision yet on like if registration decision yet on like if registration decision yet on like if registration will close at the end of uh that week or will close at the end of uh that week or will close at the end of uh that week or if the price will just increase um you if the price will just increase um you if the price will just increase um you can pay annually you can pay monthly um can pay annually you can pay monthly um can pay annually you can pay monthly um we get a bit into the the actual launch we get a bit into the the actual launch we get a bit into the the actual launch details coming soon but uh join the details coming soon but uh join the details coming soon but uh join the waiting list watch out for it waiting list watch out for it waiting list watch out for it custom social media content from custom social media content from custom social media content from inperson photo shoots well it's so great inperson photo shoots well it's so great inperson photo shoots well it's so great because we talk a lot about social because we talk a lot about social because we talk a lot about social strategies for churches we talk about strategies for churches we talk about strategies for churches we talk about short form video and we teach you how to short form video and we teach you how to short form video and we teach you how to do it and churches are like well can you do it and churches are like well can you do it and churches are like well can you just do it for us yes we can social just do it for us yes we can social just do it for us yes we can social sermons we talk a lot about the types of sermons we talk a lot about the types of sermons we talk a lot about the types of photos you should be posting on social photos you should be posting on social photos you should be posting on social and on your website not stock photos and on your website not stock photos and on your website not stock photos folks like that sounds great but how do folks like that sounds great but how do folks like that sounds great but how do I do this and good look yeah and so now I do this and good look yeah and so now I do this and good look yeah and so now we can do it for you um I was to that we can do it for you um I was to that we can do it for you um I was to that thing about stock photos we talk a lot thing about stock photos we talk a lot thing about stock photos we talk a lot about social media and your website and about social media and your website and about social media and your website and not putting stock photos of really not putting stock photos of really not putting stock photos of really anything on there but especially people anything on there but especially people anything on there but especially people in the same way that if you looked up a in the same way that if you looked up a in the same way that if you looked up a restaurant and they showed you photos of restaurant and they showed you photos of restaurant and they showed you photos of the food and it was stock photos that the food and it was stock photos that the food and it was stock photos that would kind of put you off because that's would kind of put you off because that's would kind of put you off because that's not what you're going to get when you go not what you're going to get when you go not what you're going to get when you go to the place I saw someone tweet the to the place I saw someone tweet the to the place I saw someone tweet the other day and say can churches stop other day and say can churches stop other day and say can churches stop posting or using their photos from posting or using their photos from posting or using their photos from Easter and on all of their social posts Easter and on all of their social posts Easter and on all of their social posts and all of their websites because that's and all of their websites because that's and all of their websites because that's not the complexion of your church you not the complexion of your church you not the complexion of your church you know on a Sunday in August and so this know on a Sunday in August and so this know on a Sunday in August and so this is so great for by social sermons you're is so great for by social sermons you're is so great for by social sermons you're going to get recurring photo shoots

going to get recurring photo shoots going to get recurring photo shoots you're going to get new photos every 90 you're going to get new photos every 90 you're going to get new photos every 90 days you said uh to use so you get like days you said uh to use so you get like days you said uh to use so you get like the whole complexion of what your church the whole complexion of what your church the whole complexion of what your church looks like what your services look like looks like what your services look like looks like what your services look like not just on those Cornerstone Services not just on those Cornerstone Services not just on those Cornerstone Services yeah that's right and and we're going to yeah that's right and and we're going to yeah that's right and and we're going to give you access to all those photos to give you access to all those photos to give you access to all those photos to use in uh your own church different use in uh your own church different use in uh your own church different creative applications different projects creative applications different projects creative applications different projects uh but then we're also using those uh but then we're also using those uh but then we're also using those photos to develop um videos and custom photos to develop um videos and custom photos to develop um videos and custom social media content and yeah we don't social media content and yeah we don't social media content and yeah we don't want you know to be posting in in April want you know to be posting in in April want you know to be posting in in April and people are wearing winter coats and people are wearing winter coats and people are wearing winter coats right so every 90 days you redo it oh right so every 90 days you redo it oh right so every 90 days you redo it oh it's winter and well that looks really it's winter and well that looks really it's winter and well that looks really summary in these photos so every 90 days summary in these photos so every 90 days summary in these photos so every 90 days great stuff okay let's get into eight great stuff okay let's get into eight great stuff okay let's get into eight ways to deal with negative Church staff ways to deal with negative Church staff ways to deal with negative Church staff number one is to set the standard uh number one is to set the standard uh number one is to set the standard uh yourself one of my rules for parenting yourself one of my rules for parenting yourself one of my rules for parenting uh might be the most important rule uh might be the most important rule uh might be the most important rule really uh is that most of what kids will really uh is that most of what kids will really uh is that most of what kids will learn is going to come from you and what learn is going to come from you and what learn is going to come from you and what you model basically it's being picked up you model basically it's being picked up you model basically it's being picked up through OS Moses it's through OS Moses it's through OS Moses it's the yeah it is it's frightening unless the yeah it is it's frightening unless the yeah it is it's frightening unless you're like you know what though I I you're like you know what though I I you're like you know what though I I know that I am on the right trajectory know that I am on the right trajectory know that I am on the right trajectory right and I don't have to actively this right and I don't have to actively this right and I don't have to actively this is how I always think of it you know is how I always think of it you know is how I always think of it you know it's the old caught not taught adage it's the old caught not taught adage it's the old caught not taught adage like sometimes I feel like you know I like sometimes I feel like you know I like sometimes I feel like you know I should be teaching this thing I should should be teaching this thing I should should be teaching this thing I should be like explicitly outlining this type be like explicitly outlining this type be like explicitly outlining this type of thing and sometimes we do that but of thing and sometimes we do that but of thing and sometimes we do that but then a lot of the times I remind myself then a lot of the times I remind myself then a lot of the times I remind myself okay you just looked up your parents okay you just looked up your parents okay you just looked up your parents they had a healthy marriage they were they had a healthy marriage they were they had a healthy marriage they were healthy people they loved themselves healthy people they loved themselves healthy people they loved themselves they loved each other they loved others they loved each other they loved others they loved each other they loved others and you caught all of that through the

and you caught all of that through the and you caught all of that through the process of living in their home for 18 process of living in their home for 18 process of living in their home for 18 years and so anytime I feel years and so anytime I feel years and so anytime I feel deficient in explicit teaching and like deficient in explicit teaching and like deficient in explicit teaching and like we're not going through good curriculum we're not going through good curriculum we're not going through good curriculum right I'm like you know what they're right I'm like you know what they're right I'm like you know what they're going to pick things up they just watch going to pick things up they just watch going to pick things up they just watch me like my children have a terrible diet me like my children have a terrible diet me like my children have a terrible diet unlike your children well you'd be unlike your children well you'd be unlike your children well you'd be surprised but I keep telling myself okay surprised but I keep telling myself okay surprised but I keep telling myself okay if I eat well myself and I model that if I eat well myself and I model that if I eat well myself and I model that healthy eating they will pick it up over healthy eating they will pick it up over healthy eating they will pick it up over time over time that's the most important time over time that's the most important time over time that's the most important part we got 18 years at least now if I'm part we got 18 years at least now if I'm part we got 18 years at least now if I'm eating terribly then they're going to eating terribly then they're going to eating terribly then they're going to start picking things up so we have like start picking things up so we have like start picking things up so we have like a rule like here's one example um like a rule like here's one example um like a rule like here's one example um like with Lil we try one one treat a day yeah with Lil we try one one treat a day yeah with Lil we try one one treat a day yeah that we we try and there are days where that we we try and there are days where that we we try and there are days where like she like Dad you just ate like like she like Dad you just ate like like she like Dad you just ate like three treats like yeah but I didn't see three treats like yeah but I didn't see three treats like yeah but I didn't see that I like I didn't have any all week that I like I didn't have any all week that I like I didn't have any all week that's when you get to say I'm three that's when you get to say I'm three that's when you get to say I'm three times your size I use that all the time times your size I use that all the time times your size I use that all the time yeah so like our it's proportionate one yeah so like our it's proportionate one yeah so like our it's proportionate one of our favorite snacks in the house and of our favorite snacks in the house and of our favorite snacks in the house and I eat this like right now after most I eat this like right now after most I eat this like right now after most dinners is I'll take an English muffin dinners is I'll take an English muffin dinners is I'll take an English muffin I'll cut it in half I'll toast it up I'll cut it in half I'll toast it up I'll cut it in half I'll toast it up spread a little bit of Nutella on it spread a little bit of Nutella on it spread a little bit of Nutella on it that's like my snack in the night yeah that's like my snack in the night yeah that's like my snack in the night yeah nice nice good carbs and a little bit of nice nice good carbs and a little bit of nice nice good carbs and a little bit of a treat it's like the commercial s it's a treat it's like the commercial s it's a treat it's like the commercial s it's a hint of cocoa people it's mostly nuts a hint of cocoa people it's mostly nuts a hint of cocoa people it's mostly nuts yeah Liars yeah so um pretty sure they yeah Liars yeah so um pretty sure they yeah Liars yeah so um pretty sure they sneak some icing sugar in there to let's sneak some icing sugar in there to let's sneak some icing sugar in there to let's not look at the ingredients oh liil not look at the ingredients oh liil not look at the ingredients oh liil loves it so like I'll make myself and loves it so like I'll make myself and loves it so like I'll make myself and she's like why don't I get a whole she's like why don't I get a whole she's like why don't I get a whole English muffin I'm like I wave five English muffin I'm like I wave five English muffin I'm like I wave five times what you weigh and and so I try to times what you weigh and and so I try to times what you weigh and and so I try to do the proportionate thing but hey do the proportionate thing but hey do the proportionate thing but hey caught over toau so when I think about

caught over toau so when I think about caught over toau so when I think about this in the context of work like the this in the context of work like the this in the context of work like the times where we've had issues of times where we've had issues of times where we've had issues of negativity prop up in the company I can negativity prop up in the company I can negativity prop up in the company I can usually see the usually see the usually see the source and it's me yikes I'm the problem source and it's me yikes I'm the problem source and it's me yikes I'm the problem uh and so I always ask myself like am I uh and so I always ask myself like am I uh and so I always ask myself like am I distracted am I not involved enough am I distracted am I not involved enough am I distracted am I not involved enough am I being negative and then everyone else is being negative and then everyone else is being negative and then everyone else is kind of just mirroring my own negativity kind of just mirroring my own negativity kind of just mirroring my own negativity and you know I think one of the things and you know I think one of the things and you know I think one of the things that you said in a episode last year was that you said in a episode last year was that you said in a episode last year was one of the things that you value in one of the things that you value in one of the things that you value in leadership is uh like a tempered Spirit leadership is uh like a tempered Spirit leadership is uh like a tempered Spirit someone that get doesn't get like too someone that get doesn't get like too someone that get doesn't get like too high or too low and that really like high or too low and that really like high or too low and that really like convicted me because I know how convicted me because I know how convicted me because I know how important that is in leadership but I'm important that is in leadership but I'm important that is in leadership but I'm also as much as I am like the tempered also as much as I am like the tempered also as much as I am like the tempered leader I'm also like the creative spirit leader I'm also like the creative spirit leader I'm also like the creative spirit and we all know creative Spirits are and we all know creative Spirits are and we all know creative Spirits are just like lunatics that's what makes us just like lunatics that's what makes us just like lunatics that's what makes us good at creativity um but sometimes like good at creativity um but sometimes like good at creativity um but sometimes like in the history of our comedy we've done in the history of our comedy we've done in the history of our comedy we've done a lot of therapy hour with Brady we're a lot of therapy hour with Brady we're a lot of therapy hour with Brady we're being honest where I come in I'm like being honest where I come in I'm like being honest where I come in I'm like you know what sucks everything stop what you know what sucks everything stop what you know what sucks everything stop what you're doing and listen you're doing and listen you're doing and listen yes and look through yes and look through yes and look through osmosis seems like maybe the team picks osmosis seems like maybe the team picks osmosis seems like maybe the team picks that up and perhaps starts to uh send it that up and perhaps starts to uh send it that up and perhaps starts to uh send it back to me and I'm like guys why are we back to me and I'm like guys why are we back to me and I'm like guys why are we being negative here they're like being negative here they're like being negative here they're like ah yeah I mean the title of this episode ah yeah I mean the title of this episode ah yeah I mean the title of this episode is eight ways to deal with negative is eight ways to deal with negative is eight ways to deal with negative Church staff and so you assume that Church staff and so you assume that Church staff and so you assume that we're going to be pointing the fingers we're going to be pointing the fingers we're going to be pointing the fingers down towards the staff but that's coming down towards the staff but that's coming down towards the staff but that's coming out of the gate like pointing the finger out of the gate like pointing the finger out of the gate like pointing the finger back at us the leader who sets the tone back at us the leader who sets the tone back at us the leader who sets the tone and say okay if there's some negativity and say okay if there's some negativity and say okay if there's some negativity brooding like where do we need to look brooding like where do we need to look brooding like where do we need to look for the source of this um and

for the source of this um and for the source of this um and unfortunately often in some cases it unfortunately often in some cases it unfortunately often in some cases it could be coming from the top down it could be coming from the top down it could be coming from the top down it could be like a mirroring situation and could be like a mirroring situation and could be like a mirroring situation and so it like most things in life so so it like most things in life so so it like most things in life so imperative but especially as Leaders to imperative but especially as Leaders to imperative but especially as Leaders to be self-aware first and foremost um be self-aware first and foremost um be self-aware first and foremost um about what's going on in our life in our about what's going on in our life in our about what's going on in our life in our mind and our hearts and our bodies and mind and our hearts and our bodies and mind and our hearts and our bodies and how that may be reciprocated or mirrored how that may be reciprocated or mirrored how that may be reciprocated or mirrored uh by the people that we are are trying uh by the people that we are are trying uh by the people that we are are trying to lead yeah I have it written down the to lead yeah I have it written down the to lead yeah I have it written down the famous the famous uh wisdom you become famous the famous uh wisdom you become famous the famous uh wisdom you become the average of the five people closest the average of the five people closest the average of the five people closest to you so I asked myself what am I to you so I asked myself what am I to you so I asked myself what am I contributing to that average and the contributing to that average and the contributing to that average and the truth is right because you're one of truth is right because you're one of truth is right because you're one of those five people for yeah right and those five people for yeah right and those five people for yeah right and when you are the leader you might have a when you are the leader you might have a when you are the leader you might have a disproportionate sized influence disproportionate sized influence disproportionate sized influence relative to some of the others that relative to some of the others that relative to some of the others that that's possible so I want to be a leader that's possible so I want to be a leader that's possible so I want to be a leader that models discipline ambition that models discipline ambition that models discipline ambition resilience compassion how can can I resilience compassion how can can I resilience compassion how can can I expect those things from my team if I'm expect those things from my team if I'm expect those things from my team if I'm not already modeling that and I can hear not already modeling that and I can hear not already modeling that and I can hear people think they like okay I clicked on people think they like okay I clicked on people think they like okay I clicked on this episode because it said I've got this episode because it said I've got this episode because it said I've got some negative Church staff I want to some negative Church staff I want to some negative Church staff I want to deal with them I know what to do with deal with them I know what to do with deal with them I know what to do with them and you start by saying you ever them and you start by saying you ever them and you start by saying you ever thought that you suck yeah no what we're thought that you suck yeah no what we're thought that you suck yeah no what we're saying is look we agree that right now saying is look we agree that right now saying is look we agree that right now with the negative person you're dealing with the negative person you're dealing with the negative person you're dealing with this won't help it will help with with this won't help it will help with with this won't help it will help with the next person though because if you the next person though because if you the next person though because if you begin to model these things you can be begin to model these things you can be begin to model these things you can be confident that like you're not the confident that like you're not the confident that like you're not the source or at least the biggest source of source or at least the biggest source of source or at least the biggest source of the issue so this might not help your the issue so this might not help your the issue so this might not help your issue today but it will help the next issue today but it will help the next issue today but it will help the next one and the one after that and the one one and the one after that and the one one and the one after that and the one after that and look you know if you had

after that and look you know if you had after that and look you know if you had made these changes already it would have made these changes already it would have made these changes already it would have helped the issu you have right now if helped the issu you have right now if helped the issu you have right now if we're being honest okay okay number two we're being honest okay okay number two we're being honest okay okay number two set the standard for communication so set the standard for communication so set the standard for communication so first two rules are about setting first two rules are about setting first two rules are about setting standards why because people need to standards why because people need to standards why because people need to know the rules of the game if you don't know the rules of the game if you don't know the rules of the game if you don't articulate what the rules of the game articulate what the rules of the game articulate what the rules of the game are they'll invent their own rules are they'll invent their own rules are they'll invent their own rules people think if if I don't like set people think if if I don't like set people think if if I don't like set values that's okay like we'll just like values that's okay like we'll just like values that's okay like we'll just like figure it out no no if you don't set figure it out no no if you don't set figure it out no no if you don't set values values values explicitly values will prop up just explicitly values will prop up just explicitly values will prop up just indirectly yeah and because what we're indirectly yeah and because what we're indirectly yeah and because what we're humans we need to make sense of the humans we need to make sense of the humans we need to make sense of the chaos around us and so we we observe chaos around us and so we we observe chaos around us and so we we observe what's happening and then if people what's happening and then if people what's happening and then if people aren't explicitly saying this is the aren't explicitly saying this is the aren't explicitly saying this is the principle this is the value we just principle this is the value we just principle this is the value we just observe we go okay looks like based on observe we go okay looks like based on observe we go okay looks like based on what I'm seeing this is the value and what I'm seeing this is the value and what I'm seeing this is the value and even worse those values will prop up even worse those values will prop up even worse those values will prop up they'll begin to guide the behavior of they'll begin to guide the behavior of they'll begin to guide the behavior of your team but they'll be unspoken your team but they'll be unspoken your team but they'll be unspoken because you're not being explicit about because you're not being explicit about because you're not being explicit about and so um your your team your staff in and so um your your team your staff in and so um your your team your staff in this case will be operating under a this case will be operating under a this case will be operating under a value set but no one's ever talked about value set but no one's ever talked about value set but no one's ever talked about it and so so imperative that you get out it and so so imperative that you get out it and so so imperative that you get out in front and set these standards uh uh in front and set these standards uh uh in front and set these standards uh uh preemptively uh so that you're all on preemptively uh so that you're all on preemptively uh so that you're all on the same page working towards the same the same page working towards the same the same page working towards the same goals because otherwise you confront goals because otherwise you confront goals because otherwise you confront someone and they go like what is this someone and they go like what is this someone and they go like what is this about I what this is totally counter to about I what this is totally counter to about I what this is totally counter to what I've observed and you never said what I've observed and you never said what I've observed and you never said anything so this seems like it was fine anything so this seems like it was fine anything so this seems like it was fine and now you have resentment and bitter and now you have resentment and bitter and now you have resentment and bitter about bitterness because they feel like about bitterness because they feel like about bitterness because they feel like you were confronting and calling them you were confronting and calling them you were confronting and calling them out on things that like they were never out on things that like they were never out on things that like they were never even held to a standard to and now even held to a standard to and now even held to a standard to and now there's also like this confusion amongst there's also like this confusion amongst there's also like this confusion amongst the staff there's a lack of trust and

the staff there's a lack of trust and the staff there's a lack of trust and belief in your leadership because you're belief in your leadership because you're belief in your leadership because you're holding people to account in ways that holding people to account in ways that holding people to account in ways that they were never set up to be held to they were never set up to be held to they were never set up to be held to account for so here's what I do three account for so here's what I do three account for so here's what I do three rules for communication uh number one rules for communication uh number one rules for communication uh number one disagreement is not disrespect so the disagreement is not disrespect so the disagreement is not disrespect so the standard in this office is if we standard in this office is if we standard in this office is if we disagree with somebody else we don't disagree with somebody else we don't disagree with somebody else we don't immediately interpret that immediately interpret that immediately interpret that as a disrespectful thing we're as a disrespectful thing we're as a disrespectful thing we're disagreeing on a certain conversation disagreeing on a certain conversation disagreeing on a certain conversation that is not in any way disrespect that is not in any way disrespect that is not in any way disrespect towards the other person's idea towards the other person's idea towards the other person's idea disrespect towards the other person as a disrespect towards the other person as a disrespect towards the other person as a human being this is simply a human being this is simply a human being this is simply a disagreement on this specific idea this disagreement on this specific idea this disagreement on this specific idea this specific principle rule number two Unity specific principle rule number two Unity specific principle rule number two Unity is not uniformity we don't have the is not uniformity we don't have the is not uniformity we don't have the expectation that every one of us is expectation that every one of us is expectation that every one of us is going to identically agree with going to identically agree with going to identically agree with everything at the end of this everything at the end of this everything at the end of this conversation in last week's episode we conversation in last week's episode we conversation in last week's episode we we talked about uh spending on the we talked about uh spending on the we talked about uh spending on the annual Corporate Retreat and how the annual Corporate Retreat and how the annual Corporate Retreat and how the team came to me and they were like hey team came to me and they were like hey team came to me and they were like hey here are some issues we have with with here are some issues we have with with here are some issues we have with with this and I said here's the value that this and I said here's the value that this and I said here's the value that inspires this um expenditure and here's inspires this um expenditure and here's inspires this um expenditure and here's why we do it I don't think everyone came why we do it I don't think everyone came why we do it I don't think everyone came out of that and was like I am 100% out of that and was like I am 100% out of that and was like I am 100% convinced right what we came out of that convinced right what we came out of that convinced right what we came out of that with was okay I see the value that he with was okay I see the value that he with was okay I see the value that he has expressed that we have all agreed by has expressed that we have all agreed by has expressed that we have all agreed by we agreed to the value he is making a we agreed to the value he is making a we agreed to the value he is making a decision based on that value I don't decision based on that value I don't decision based on that value I don't know if I fully agree know if I fully agree know if I fully agree with how with that decision but I do with how with that decision but I do with how with that decision but I do agree with the value and as the leader I agree with the value and as the leader I agree with the value and as the leader I respect his call I remember something respect his call I remember something respect his call I remember something that trist um my 0.5 best friend because that trist um my 0.5 best friend because that trist um my 0.5 best friend because he lives too far away Tristan we're

he lives too far away Tristan we're he lives too far away Tristan we're going to welcome you into the full best going to welcome you into the full best going to welcome you into the full best friend in 2024 hopefully um Tristan said friend in 2024 hopefully um Tristan said friend in 2024 hopefully um Tristan said I trust your leadership even though I I trust your leadership even though I I trust your leadership even though I don't agree with this decision and I don't agree with this decision and I don't agree with this decision and I remember like stewing on that in a remember like stewing on that in a remember like stewing on that in a positive way maybe stewing stewing positive way maybe stewing stewing positive way maybe stewing stewing implies like a negative implies like a negative implies like a negative um uh Focus on it I was just thinking um uh Focus on it I was just thinking um uh Focus on it I was just thinking about it and I was like okay like that about it and I was like okay like that about it and I was like okay like that was a was a was a really important thing to hear because really important thing to hear because really important thing to hear because he was like I trust you as a leader I he was like I trust you as a leader I he was like I trust you as a leader I don't agree with this decision expressly don't agree with this decision expressly don't agree with this decision expressly but I understand why you made it I but I understand why you made it I but I understand why you made it I understand you're thinking to arrive at understand you're thinking to arrive at understand you're thinking to arrive at it and I defer to you yeah third rule it and I defer to you yeah third rule it and I defer to you yeah third rule for setting the standard for for setting the standard for for setting the standard for communication say the quiet part out communication say the quiet part out communication say the quiet part out loud we talked about this a lot we loud we talked about this a lot we loud we talked about this a lot we talked about a lot won't go over here talked about a lot won't go over here talked about a lot won't go over here but so these are kind of my three rules but so these are kind of my three rules but so these are kind of my three rules for I say set the standard for for I say set the standard for for I say set the standard for communication you're like what does that communication you're like what does that communication you're like what does that mean three rules disagreement is not mean three rules disagreement is not mean three rules disagreement is not disrespect Unity is not uniformity say disrespect Unity is not uniformity say disrespect Unity is not uniformity say the quiet part out loud so we're the quiet part out loud so we're the quiet part out loud so we're communicating there's an issue I'm communicating there's an issue I'm communicating there's an issue I'm addressing Alex's negativity where you addressing Alex's negativity where you addressing Alex's negativity where you been you haven't been in the office in been you haven't been in the office in been you haven't been in the office in three months right oh my goodness what three months right oh my goodness what three months right oh my goodness what are you are you are you doing now we have addressed the topic doing now we have addressed the topic doing now we have addressed the topic what are the rules for how we are going what are the rules for how we are going what are the rules for how we are going to engage this conversation there is to engage this conversation there is to engage this conversation there is conflict there is bitterness there is conflict there is bitterness there is conflict there is bitterness there is resentment okay whatever we want to root resentment okay whatever we want to root resentment okay whatever we want to root those things out we want to get to a those things out we want to get to a those things out we want to get to a solution a resolution how are we going solution a resolution how are we going solution a resolution how are we going to talk about things and then these are to talk about things and then these are to talk about things and then these are the three rules kind of of the rules for the three rules kind of of the rules for the three rules kind of of the rules for engagement if you don't set the rules engagement if you don't set the rules engagement if you don't set the rules another force or another person will another force or another person will another force or another person will right rules exist did you set them if right rules exist did you set them if right rules exist did you set them if not someone else did or just kind of a

not someone else did or just kind of a not someone else did or just kind of a general force of people collectively general force of people collectively general force of people collectively right standard number three actually I right standard number three actually I right standard number three actually I included the three rules in the number included the three rules in the number included the three rules in the number eight so this is eight so this is eight so this is technically five all technically five all technically five all right look we're we're playing it a right look we're we're playing it a right look we're we're playing it a little little little next address all Behavior or attitude next address all Behavior or attitude next address all Behavior or attitude issues in light of your Church's values issues in light of your Church's values issues in light of your Church's values and Mission so last week we talked about and Mission so last week we talked about and Mission so last week we talked about our organizational values we talked our organizational values we talked our organizational values we talked about my personal and family values when about my personal and family values when about my personal and family values when you have an issue the only way to you have an issue the only way to you have an issue the only way to address it is in light of those values address it is in light of those values address it is in light of those values the previous uh four items were like how the previous uh four items were like how the previous uh four items were like how you're going to talk about things this you're going to talk about things this you're going to talk about things this is when you say okay this is the is when you say okay this is the is when you say okay this is the behavior The Unwanted Behavior the behavior The Unwanted Behavior the behavior The Unwanted Behavior the negativity whatever it is why is it a negativity whatever it is why is it a negativity whatever it is why is it a problem problem problem this is who I am you know I I'm just a this is who I am you know I I'm just a this is who I am you know I I'm just a critical spirit I am really great at critical spirit I am really great at critical spirit I am really great at pointing out the flaws and things that's pointing out the flaws and things that's pointing out the flaws and things that's who I am what's the issue you might see who I am what's the issue you might see who I am what's the issue you might see an issue they don't see the issue now an issue they don't see the issue now an issue they don't see the issue now what you have to bring it to the values what you have to bring it to the values what you have to bring it to the values of the organization and what's really of the organization and what's really of the organization and what's really great about this and we've talked about great about this and we've talked about great about this and we've talked about this in the context of creativity uh this in the context of creativity uh this in the context of creativity uh project management deciding what gets project management deciding what gets project management deciding what gets announced from a stage we not the reason announced from a stage we not the reason announced from a stage we not the reason this is powerful is because it is now no this is powerful is because it is now no this is powerful is because it is now no longer a dance of conflict between Alex longer a dance of conflict between Alex longer a dance of conflict between Alex and I it's really Alex and I trying to and I it's really Alex and I trying to and I it's really Alex and I trying to square our issue with one another square our issue with one another square our issue with one another against the values that we both believe against the values that we both believe against the values that we both believe in we need to have common ground the in we need to have common ground the in we need to have common ground the common ground is the values you know if common ground is the values you know if common ground is the values you know if you as a church are trying to figure out

you as a church are trying to figure out you as a church are trying to figure out what gets announced from stage and what gets announced from stage and what gets announced from stage and you've all made the decision as a you've all made the decision as a you've all made the decision as a department but also as a leadership team department but also as a leadership team department but also as a leadership team unless this announcement applies to 50% unless this announcement applies to 50% unless this announcement applies to 50% or more of the church we call it the 50% or more of the church we call it the 50% or more of the church we call it the 50% rule we're not going to give it a rule we're not going to give it a rule we're not going to give it a churchwide promotion email stage churchwide promotion email stage churchwide promotion email stage announcement now if Alex comes to me and announcement now if Alex comes to me and announcement now if Alex comes to me and he says Hey I want to share this uh you he says Hey I want to share this uh you he says Hey I want to share this uh you know this thing with the church and it know this thing with the church and it know this thing with the church and it doesn't hit that rule it's not like I've doesn't hit that rule it's not like I've doesn't hit that rule it's not like I've shut down Alex we all agreed to this shut down Alex we all agreed to this shut down Alex we all agreed to this Rule and we're really just measuring his Rule and we're really just measuring his Rule and we're really just measuring his request against this rule conflict can request against this rule conflict can request against this rule conflict can work the same way these are our values work the same way these are our values work the same way these are our values that we want to embody and live by so that we want to embody and live by so that we want to embody and live by so now it's not me saying Alex your now it's not me saying Alex your now it's not me saying Alex your behavior is unacceptable and he goes behavior is unacceptable and he goes behavior is unacceptable and he goes yeah well you're yeah well you're yeah well you're ugly he doesn't go why is it ugly he doesn't go why is it ugly he doesn't go why is it unacceptable I disagree okay so now it's unacceptable I disagree okay so now it's unacceptable I disagree okay so now it's not me against him it's the issue not me against him it's the issue not me against him it's the issue against the values the values the common against the values the values the common against the values the values the common ground and that creates this third party ground and that creates this third party ground and that creates this third party objective impartial document this is objective impartial document this is objective impartial document this is what the Supreme Court does right what the Supreme Court does right what the Supreme Court does right there's an issue the smaller courts have there's an issue the smaller courts have there's an issue the smaller courts have been like this is what we've decided but been like this is what we've decided but been like this is what we've decided but another Court says this is what we've another Court says this is what we've another Court says this is what we've decided Supreme Court you need to make a decided Supreme Court you need to make a decided Supreme Court you need to make a decision and they're like all right well decision and they're like all right well decision and they're like all right well is it constitutional we're just here to is it constitutional we're just here to is it constitutional we're just here to basically figure out if this issue basically figure out if this issue basically figure out if this issue against the Constitution lines up it's against the Constitution lines up it's against the Constitution lines up it's not about what I believe personally not about what I believe personally not about what I believe personally hopefully it's not about what this other hopefully it's not about what this other hopefully it's not about what this other Justice with maybe a different political Justice with maybe a different political Justice with maybe a different political believes we are trying to figure out believes we are trying to figure out believes we are trying to figure out according to this constitution how can according to this constitution how can according to this constitution how can we apply this objective impartial we apply this objective impartial we apply this objective impartial document to the current issue we are document to the current issue we are document to the current issue we are facing right now well and this is not facing right now well and this is not facing right now well and this is not foreign to any of us who have been foreign to any of us who have been foreign to any of us who have been Christians for any amount of time or

Christians for any amount of time or Christians for any amount of time or practiced faith in church for any amount practiced faith in church for any amount practiced faith in church for any amount of time because we have a a document of of time because we have a a document of of time because we have a a document of sorts uh that sometimes we interpret sorts uh that sometimes we interpret sorts uh that sometimes we interpret differently but we have this this Rich differently but we have this this Rich differently but we have this this Rich tradition of our faith recorded in the tradition of our faith recorded in the tradition of our faith recorded in the scriptures and in so many different scriptures and in so many different scriptures and in so many different areas of our life and our church we hold areas of our life and our church we hold areas of our life and our church we hold up our U Behavior up our U Behavior up our U Behavior our decision making against the history our decision making against the history our decision making against the history of our faith up against the scriptures of our faith up against the scriptures of our faith up against the scriptures and say okay how does it align with the and say okay how does it align with the and say okay how does it align with the life and story of Jesus and so we're life and story of Jesus and so we're life and story of Jesus and so we're doing this already and on like a grand doing this already and on like a grand doing this already and on like a grand scale now uh in the workplace it's we're scale now uh in the workplace it's we're scale now uh in the workplace it's we're highlighting how important it is to have highlighting how important it is to have highlighting how important it is to have your own set of values which last week your own set of values which last week your own set of values which last week we mentioned are usually informed by the we mentioned are usually informed by the we mentioned are usually informed by the scriptures anyways uh that you can hold scriptures anyways uh that you can hold scriptures anyways uh that you can hold your decision-making your behavior in your decision-making your behavior in your decision-making your behavior in some in some senses up against and say some in some senses up against and say some in some senses up against and say okay how does this align or or not okay how does this align or or not okay how does this align or or not aligned and if it's not aligned how can aligned and if it's not aligned how can aligned and if it's not aligned how can we work together uh interpersonally to we work together uh interpersonally to we work together uh interpersonally to get back on track precisely and you know get back on track precisely and you know get back on track precisely and you know you might not have in your values like you might not have in your values like you might not have in your values like something directly related to this issue something directly related to this issue something directly related to this issue right right like someone is being right right like someone is being right right like someone is being negative maybe you don't have in your negative maybe you don't have in your negative maybe you don't have in your values we are not values we are not values we are not negative so what you have to do is you negative so what you have to do is you negative so what you have to do is you basically have to make your case that basically have to make your case that basically have to make your case that this Behavior this attitude and this Behavior this attitude and this Behavior this attitude and perspective will lead to these results perspective will lead to these results perspective will lead to these results and then hold up those results against and then hold up those results against and then hold up those results against one of the values like our goal is to one of the values like our goal is to one of the values like our goal is to you know see life change in our city you know see life change in our city you know see life change in our city through X Y and Z if we have a negative through X Y and Z if we have a negative through X Y and Z if we have a negative view on our city that is going to affect

view on our city that is going to affect view on our city that is going to affect this outcome that we're trying to this outcome that we're trying to this outcome that we're trying to achieve together and you basically make achieve together and you basically make achieve together and you basically make the case that this Behavior negatively the case that this Behavior negatively the case that this Behavior negatively affects this Miss so it's not about like affects this Miss so it's not about like affects this Miss so it's not about like I don't like it when you act this way I don't like it when you act this way I don't like it when you act this way it's about we have all agreed in this it's about we have all agreed in this it's about we have all agreed in this organization that this is what we're organization that this is what we're organization that this is what we're trying to do and this type of behavior trying to do and this type of behavior trying to do and this type of behavior will negatively impact that right next will negatively impact that right next will negatively impact that right next up earn Equity when was the last time up earn Equity when was the last time up earn Equity when was the last time you talked with this person on the team you talked with this person on the team you talked with this person on the team just to talk uh there's the parenting uh just to talk uh there's the parenting uh just to talk uh there's the parenting uh you know Mantra like you know five you know Mantra like you know five you know Mantra like you know five positives for every one negative that's positives for every one negative that's positives for every one negative that's the ideal ratio let me tell you I'm not the ideal ratio let me tell you I'm not the ideal ratio let me tell you I'm not hitting this ratio but I do remind hitting this ratio but I do remind hitting this ratio but I do remind myself like hey if all you do is ever myself like hey if all you do is ever myself like hey if all you do is ever harp on the harp on the harp on the negative what's that going to lead to negative what's that going to lead to negative what's that going to lead to you're not going to have earned the you're not going to have earned the you're not going to have earned the equity to to speak to that person equity to to speak to that person equity to to speak to that person because all you do is chastise them or because all you do is chastise them or because all you do is chastise them or you're always coming to them with you're always coming to them with you're always coming to them with something that's work look frankly this something that's work look frankly this something that's work look frankly this is me preaching to myself on this is me preaching to myself on this is me preaching to myself on this because like I I have this natural because like I I have this natural because like I I have this natural resistance towards anything that feels resistance towards anything that feels resistance towards anything that feels phony I'm really bad at small talk phony I'm really bad at small talk phony I'm really bad at small talk because I'm like what are we doing here because I'm like what are we doing here because I'm like what are we doing here it feels performative or it feels like it feels performative or it feels like it feels performative or it feels like something to basically buy time or it's something to basically buy time or it's something to basically buy time or it's necessary to like then get to the real necessary to like then get to the real necessary to like then get to the real stuff and as I get older I feel like I'm stuff and as I get older I feel like I'm stuff and as I get older I feel like I'm starting to like understand it a bit starting to like understand it a bit starting to like understand it a bit more but I still kind of recoil at it a more but I still kind of recoil at it a more but I still kind of recoil at it a little bit how are you with that I feel little bit how are you with that I feel little bit how are you with that I feel like as a pastor you're always like as a pastor you're always like as a pastor you're always schmoozing and I'm like I have nothing

schmoozing and I'm like I have nothing schmoozing and I'm like I have nothing to say to you yeah so I you and I are to say to you yeah so I you and I are to say to you yeah so I you and I are similar in so many different ways this similar in so many different ways this similar in so many different ways this is one of them um the way that I have is one of them um the way that I have is one of them um the way that I have the way that I am growing in this area the way that I am growing in this area the way that I am growing in this area is to um learn how to ask um better is to um learn how to ask um better is to um learn how to ask um better questions and actually be invested in questions and actually be invested in questions and actually be invested in the response and so it's taken it's the response and so it's taken it's the response and so it's taken it's taken time it takes a lot of patience to taken time it takes a lot of patience to taken time it takes a lot of patience to ask inquisitive questions and and simply ask inquisitive questions and and simply ask inquisitive questions and and simply wait for the response and actually wait for the response and actually wait for the response and actually practice caring about what the other practice caring about what the other practice caring about what the other person is saying and the relational person is saying and the relational person is saying and the relational Equity gets forged um over time by Equity gets forged um over time by Equity gets forged um over time by showing someone with your body language showing someone with your body language showing someone with your body language your ey contact your presence your your ey contact your presence your your ey contact your presence your patients that that you do um care you patients that that you do um care you patients that that you do um care you are listening but when it comes to are listening but when it comes to are listening but when it comes to negative people um that's really negative people um that's really negative people um that's really challenging and and the question here challenging and and the question here challenging and and the question here for for earning Equity is like when was for for earning Equity is like when was for for earning Equity is like when was the last time you spent time with this the last time you spent time with this the last time you spent time with this person or or talked with them just to person or or talked with them just to person or or talked with them just to talk with negative folks that's really talk with negative folks that's really talk with negative folks that's really challenging because sometimes negative challenging because sometimes negative challenging because sometimes negative people are really good at their work and people are really good at their work and people are really good at their work and so you like the work that they do and so you like the work that they do and so you like the work that they do and how they work for you or for the church how they work for you or for the church how they work for you or for the church or for the organization and so sometimes or for the organization and so sometimes or for the organization and so sometimes it's just easier to like let them their it's just easier to like let them their it's just easier to like let them their work and and not engage with them uh work and and not engage with them uh work and and not engage with them uh interpersonally but this is where as a interpersonally but this is where as a interpersonally but this is where as a leader you really get to practice um leader you really get to practice um leader you really get to practice um selflessness um this self-sacrificial selflessness um this self-sacrificial selflessness um this self-sacrificial kind of christ-like posture which is I kind of christ-like posture which is I kind of christ-like posture which is I care about you and your personhood more care about you and your personhood more care about you and your personhood more than I care about your work and it's

than I care about your work and it's than I care about your work and it's going to take a lot of effort often like going to take a lot of effort often like going to take a lot of effort often like silent effort for me to come to you to silent effort for me to come to you to silent effort for me to come to you to be close to you to be close to the be close to you to be close to the be close to you to be close to the negativity and show you that I care um negativity and show you that I care um negativity and show you that I care um but if if you care more about this but if if you care more about this but if if you care more about this person than you do about their work and person than you do about their work and person than you do about their work and you want to forge a relationship over you want to forge a relationship over you want to forge a relationship over time and you know all in Christian love time and you know all in Christian love time and you know all in Christian love like in the spirit of Christian love like in the spirit of Christian love like in the spirit of Christian love that's what it's going to take and that's what it's going to take and that's what it's going to take and that's part of being uh a leader in a that's part of being uh a leader in a that's part of being uh a leader in a community or a leader on a team um uh community or a leader on a team um uh community or a leader on a team um uh sometimes in some cases a bit more of a sometimes in some cases a bit more of a sometimes in some cases a bit more of a selfless posture than is required from selfless posture than is required from selfless posture than is required from other folks who just show up or whatever other folks who just show up or whatever other folks who just show up or whatever um but so far in my experience as a um but so far in my experience as a um but so far in my experience as a Christian leader I in my estimation I Christian leader I in my estimation I Christian leader I in my estimation I think that that's what it requires it's think that that's what it requires it's think that that's what it requires it's I think a lifelong lifelong learning I think a lifelong lifelong learning I think a lifelong lifelong learning process um I think I'm just starting to process um I think I'm just starting to process um I think I'm just starting to learn about it now learn about it now learn about it now um so yeah I I um so yeah I I um so yeah I I have maybe everyone does but I have like have maybe everyone does but I have like have maybe everyone does but I have like a strong aversion to negative folks or a strong aversion to negative folks or a strong aversion to negative folks or sorry to their negativity not to their sorry to their negativity not to their sorry to their negativity not to their personhood right so right I'm learning personhood right so right I'm learning personhood right so right I'm learning like I'm catching myself and and and like I'm catching myself and and and like I'm catching myself and and and we've talked about it already we'll we've talked about it already we'll we've talked about it already we'll continue to talk about it there's continue to talk about it there's continue to talk about it there's there's usually if not always a source there's usually if not always a source there's usually if not always a source to that negativity that needs to kind of to that negativity that needs to kind of to that negativity that needs to kind of be sussed out right but the person um be sussed out right but the person um be sussed out right but the person um there's gold there and so it just takes there's gold there and so it just takes there's gold there and so it just takes it takes work to to work that out and to it takes work to to work that out and to it takes work to to work that out and to be clear in respect to my critique or be clear in respect to my critique or be clear in respect to my critique or lack of love for small talk it's not lack of love for small talk it's not lack of love for small talk it's not that I don't understand like the steps that I don't understand like the steps that I don't understand like the steps to getting to really substantive to getting to really substantive to getting to really substantive conversation right like you don't just conversation right like you don't just conversation right like you don't just go straight to unless you have a long

go straight to unless you have a long go straight to unless you have a long history with that person like incredibly history with that person like incredibly history with that person like incredibly deep places like there's that warming up deep places like there's that warming up deep places like there's that warming up process small talk on its own is what process small talk on its own is what process small talk on its own is what bothers me it's like hey we're kind of bothers me it's like hey we're kind of bothers me it's like hey we're kind of just like Treading Water we're not just like Treading Water we're not just like Treading Water we're not actually going anywhere together we're actually going anywhere together we're actually going anywhere together we're just kind of like again biting time just kind of like again biting time just kind of like again biting time that's what care so earning Equity again that's what care so earning Equity again that's what care so earning Equity again preaching to myself here not something preaching to myself here not something preaching to myself here not something that I have always even now embody in that I have always even now embody in that I have always even now embody in the best way uh because as I recently the best way uh because as I recently the best way uh because as I recently came to an understanding of I really came to an understanding of I really came to an understanding of I really like to work alone I like to kind of get like to work alone I like to kind of get like to work alone I like to kind of get in my creative lab and I don't like to in my creative lab and I don't like to in my creative lab and I don't like to be disturbed I just like to do my thing be disturbed I just like to do my thing be disturbed I just like to do my thing and I just like to I'm a lone wolf in and I just like to I'm a lone wolf in and I just like to I'm a lone wolf in that way um which really does fly in the that way um which really does fly in the that way um which really does fly in the face to so many of my like hey I want to face to so many of my like hey I want to face to so many of my like hey I want to be friend I want to be friends I just be friend I want to be friends I just be friend I want to be friends I just don't want to work collaboratively I don't want to work collaboratively I don't want to work collaboratively I want to work in isolation and then once want to work in isolation and then once want to work in isolation and then once work's done let's be but just we have to work's done let's be but just we have to work's done let's be but just we have to work collabor this a group project let work collabor this a group project let work collabor this a group project let me do it I'mma do the project guys I me do it I'mma do the project guys I me do it I'mma do the project guys I have a long way to go uh in respect to have a long way to go uh in respect to have a long way to go uh in respect to equity it's not just how much time I equity it's not just how much time I equity it's not just how much time I have three items here when was the last have three items here when was the last have three items here when was the last time you talked with the person just to time you talked with the person just to time you talked with the person just to talk yes we explored that when was the talk yes we explored that when was the talk yes we explored that when was the last time you called this person out for last time you called this person out for last time you called this person out for their good work or acknowledg their their good work or acknowledg their their good work or acknowledg their efforts so there are two that goes a efforts so there are two that goes a efforts so there are two that goes a long way absolutely and there are two long way absolutely and there are two long way absolutely and there are two levers to pull here their effort maybe levers to pull here their effort maybe levers to pull here their effort maybe the outcome like wasn't exactly like the outcome like wasn't exactly like the outcome like wasn't exactly like what we had hoped for but hey you worked what we had hoped for but hey you worked what we had hoped for but hey you worked really hard on this I saw your effort really hard on this I saw your effort really hard on this I saw your effort thank you for that or outcome maybe they thank you for that or outcome maybe they thank you for that or outcome maybe they didn't work that hard on it but like hey didn't work that hard on it but like hey didn't work that hard on it but like hey look we rece we we achieved the results look we rece we we achieved the results look we rece we we achieved the results we want way to go the outcome was we want way to go the outcome was we want way to go the outcome was achieved and then third how long have achieved and then third how long have achieved and then third how long have you known this person have you gone you known this person have you gone you known this person have you gone through fires together with this person through fires together with this person through fires together with this person so if you're thinking about dealing with so if you're thinking about dealing with so if you're thinking about dealing with the negativity run through these three the negativity run through these three the negativity run through these three questions in your head okay when was the questions in your head okay when was the questions in your head okay when was the last time we talked and it wasn't

last time we talked and it wasn't last time we talked and it wasn't related to like performance or it wasn't related to like performance or it wasn't related to like performance or it wasn't related to like them doing what I've related to like them doing what I've related to like them doing what I've asked and second like when was the last asked and second like when was the last asked and second like when was the last time I acknowledge their good effort the time I acknowledge their good effort the time I acknowledge their good effort the great results we've had and then third how long have I known this person like how long have I known this person like if you've known them a long time you if you've known them a long time you if you've known them a long time you might not have to lean on the first two might not have to lean on the first two might not have to lean on the first two as much right like if Alex and I are as much right like if Alex and I are as much right like if Alex and I are having an issue I don't feel in the same having an issue I don't feel in the same having an issue I don't feel in the same way like I have to go to him like just way like I have to go to him like just way like I have to go to him like just so you know really appreciate all the so you know really appreciate all the so you know really appreciate all the effort you've put in lately it's not effort you've put in lately it's not effort you've put in lately it's not going to notic but also here's why I you going to notic but also here's why I you going to notic but also here's why I you suck uh we've gone through a lot suck uh we've gone through a lot suck uh we've gone through a lot together you can get to those places together you can get to those places together you can get to those places quicker with people if you haven't gone quicker with people if you haven't gone quicker with people if you haven't gone through a lot together maybe it's those through a lot together maybe it's those through a lot together maybe it's those previous two and then previous two and then previous two and then finally assess capacity uh one of the finally assess capacity uh one of the finally assess capacity uh one of the root issues now that we've gone through root issues now that we've gone through root issues now that we've gone through like hey look at yourself consider the like hey look at yourself consider the like hey look at yourself consider the relationship with the person um you know relationship with the person um you know relationship with the person um you know address behaviors in light of the address behaviors in light of the address behaviors in light of the mission and the vision okay often times mission and the vision okay often times mission and the vision okay often times once we get through all this one of the once we get through all this one of the once we get through all this one of the root issues is misaligned expectations root issues is misaligned expectations root issues is misaligned expectations meaning you are observing one thing that meaning you are observing one thing that meaning you are observing one thing that the staff member has no idea is a the staff member has no idea is a the staff member has no idea is a problem that the person on the team the problem that the person on the team the problem that the person on the team the volunteer has no idea is an issue at all volunteer has no idea is an issue at all volunteer has no idea is an issue at all I think a lot of the times we observe I think a lot of the times we observe I think a lot of the times we observe Behavior and we like okay this happened Behavior and we like okay this happened Behavior and we like okay this happened once I'm not going to go to them once once I'm not going to go to them once once I'm not going to go to them once it's happened twice okay still I'm gonna it's happened twice okay still I'm gonna it's happened twice okay still I'm gonna make sure three or four times there's a make sure three or four times there's a make sure three or four times there's a pattern of behavior here and I know they pattern of behavior here and I know they pattern of behavior here and I know they know what's going on and they don't seem know what's going on and they don't seem know what's going on and they don't seem to care and then you go to them and to care and then you go to them and to care and then you go to them and they're like what are you talking about they're like what are you talking about they're like what are you talking about you're like oh I was like imbuing all of you're like oh I was like imbuing all of you're like oh I was like imbuing all of this like negativity on you ironically

this like negativity on you ironically this like negativity on you ironically like you were purposefully like skirting like you were purposefully like skirting like you were purposefully like skirting the line purposefully not completing the the line purposefully not completing the the line purposefully not completing the job it was just misaligned your job it was just misaligned your job it was just misaligned your expectation was different from mine and expectation was different from mine and expectation was different from mine and that was the root of all of it so that was the root of all of it so that was the root of all of it so sometimes it's a behavioral thing and I sometimes it's a behavioral thing and I sometimes it's a behavioral thing and I I think I've shared this once before but I think I've shared this once before but I think I've shared this once before but I like to do a bit of a sick and twisted I like to do a bit of a sick and twisted I like to do a bit of a sick and twisted experiment okay if I've gone through all experiment okay if I've gone through all experiment okay if I've gone through all these things and like there's just these things and like there's just these things and like there's just immaturity that I would like to root out immaturity that I would like to root out immaturity that I would like to root out I don't know if this is a good I don't know if this is a good I don't know if this is a good idea I feel like it worked in the one idea I feel like it worked in the one idea I feel like it worked in the one time that I tried it the problem is that time that I tried it the problem is that time that I tried it the problem is that I work with a lot of great people and I I work with a lot of great people and I I work with a lot of great people and I don't have any problems with them but don't have any problems with them but don't have any problems with them but I'm sure it will come up again so what I I'm sure it will come up again so what I I'm sure it will come up again so what I do is um I give them a project this is do is um I give them a project this is do is um I give them a project this is the first step the key is with this the first step the key is with this the first step the key is with this project it has to be challenging meaning project it has to be challenging meaning project it has to be challenging meaning there will be one of three outcomes there will be one of three outcomes there will be one of three outcomes outcome number one the person Rises to outcome number one the person Rises to outcome number one the person Rises to the occasion giving you an opportunity the occasion giving you an opportunity the occasion giving you an opportunity to praise them for how great they did to praise them for how great they did to praise them for how great they did and changing the tone and trajectory of and changing the tone and trajectory of and changing the tone and trajectory of the relationship I find with negativity the relationship I find with negativity the relationship I find with negativity the problem with it is like you just the problem with it is like you just the problem with it is like you just feel like it's just going to stay feel like it's just going to stay feel like it's just going to stay negative it's not like we did a project negative it's not like we did a project negative it's not like we did a project together and the outcome wasn't ideal together and the outcome wasn't ideal together and the outcome wasn't ideal it's like it's like it's like everything that we approach together everything that we approach together everything that we approach together just has this like nasty aura about it just has this like nasty aura about it just has this like nasty aura about it so that's the first possible outcome the so that's the first possible outcome the so that's the first possible outcome the second possible outcome is the person second possible outcome is the person second possible outcome is the person realizes that they can't get this realizes that they can't get this realizes that they can't get this project done and comes to ask for help project done and comes to ask for help project done and comes to ask for help giving you the opportunity to work giving you the opportunity to work giving you the opportunity to work collaboratively and hopefully what you collaboratively and hopefully what you collaboratively and hopefully what you love I'm not no I I then hand it off to

love I'm not no I I then hand it off to love I'm not no I I then hand it off to you but hopefully you get the opp as I you but hopefully you get the opp as I you but hopefully you get the opp as I recently had yes uh hopefully it humbles recently had yes uh hopefully it humbles recently had yes uh hopefully it humbles this person in the process a bit to help this person in the process a bit to help this person in the process a bit to help them see a little bit of what you see them see a little bit of what you see them see a little bit of what you see and you get to work together towards a and you get to work together towards a and you get to work together towards a solution exactly or the third outcome solution exactly or the third outcome solution exactly or the third outcome they stubbornly force their way through they stubbornly force their way through they stubbornly force their way through the project refusing to ask for help and the project refusing to ask for help and the project refusing to ask for help and failing on the project miserably because failing on the project miserably because failing on the project miserably because the project was such a difficult thing the project was such a difficult thing the project was such a difficult thing in the first place uh which is in the first place uh which is in the first place uh which is embarrassing as everyone sees it embarrassing as everyone sees it embarrassing as everyone sees it hopefully getting them again to that hopefully getting them again to that hopefully getting them again to that same place of humbling them a little bit same place of humbling them a little bit same place of humbling them a little bit so of the potential outcomes either they so of the potential outcomes either they so of the potential outcomes either they do a great job and you get to change the do a great job and you get to change the do a great job and you get to change the tone and trajectory of the uh tone and trajectory of the uh tone and trajectory of the uh relationship but also just the general relationship but also just the general relationship but also just the general Aura around this person or secondly they Aura around this person or secondly they Aura around this person or secondly they come to a place of humility a little bit come to a place of humility a little bit come to a place of humility a little bit which allows you also to change the which allows you also to change the which allows you also to change the trajectory of the relationship so the trajectory of the relationship so the trajectory of the relationship so the whole point is negativity is this like whole point is negativity is this like whole point is negativity is this like indefinite trajectory that everyone can indefinite trajectory that everyone can indefinite trajectory that everyone can see and you don't know how to root it see and you don't know how to root it see and you don't know how to root it out you create this experiment create out you create this experiment create out you create this experiment create this manufacture this project to this manufacture this project to this manufacture this project to basically create one of three outcomes basically create one of three outcomes basically create one of three outcomes it's their call they get to figure out it's their call they get to figure out it's their call they get to figure out which of the door they want to take but which of the door they want to take but which of the door they want to take but either way on the other side you should either way on the other side you should either way on the other side you should have the opportunity to change the have the opportunity to change the have the opportunity to change the trajectory of the relationship that's so trajectory of the relationship that's so trajectory of the relationship that's so good and you're batting a thousand on good and you're batting a thousand on good and you're batting a thousand on that one I'm one for one okay yeah yeah that one I'm one for one okay yeah yeah that one I'm one for one okay yeah yeah exactly um one final note here that I uh exactly um one final note here that I uh exactly um one final note here that I uh one final note uh fire them oh right one final note uh fire them oh right one final note uh fire them oh right right the ninth thing to do is to just right the ninth thing to do is to just right the ninth thing to do is to just let them go listen you know we're not let them go listen you know we're not let them go listen you know we're not the biggest experts on um on the biggest experts on um on the biggest experts on um on transitioning people yeah that's fair we transitioning people yeah that's fair we transitioning people yeah that's fair we did a conversation last year with

did a conversation last year with did a conversation last year with William Vander blumen who is you know in William Vander blumen who is you know in William Vander blumen who is you know in charge of Staffing all the churches in charge of Staffing all the churches in charge of Staffing all the churches in the world it seems and he had a lot to the world it seems and he had a lot to the world it seems and he had a lot to say about like clearly he's had say about like clearly he's had say about like clearly he's had experience firsthand with like hey it's experience firsthand with like hey it's experience firsthand with like hey it's time to go okay what about transitioning time to go okay what about transitioning time to go okay what about transitioning folks um like inter Department wise like folks um like inter Department wise like folks um like inter Department wise like like surely there's there's a situation like surely there's there's a situation like surely there's there's a situation where there's some negativity coming up where there's some negativity coming up where there's some negativity coming up and just friction in the workplace or and just friction in the workplace or and just friction in the workplace or the job and maybe their skill sets are the job and maybe their skill sets are the job and maybe their skill sets are just misaligned and that's that requires just misaligned and that's that requires just misaligned and that's that requires uh some effort effort from you as the uh some effort effort from you as the uh some effort effort from you as the leader to to recognize like okay this leader to to recognize like okay this leader to to recognize like okay this person is an asset they're a valuable person is an asset they're a valuable person is an asset they're a valuable member of our faith community they member of our faith community they member of our faith community they deserve to they deserve their employment deserve to they deserve their employment deserve to they deserve their employment here but in this area in this department here but in this area in this department here but in this area in this department it's not working how can we creatively it's not working how can we creatively it's not working how can we creatively find a solution to maybe transition and find a solution to maybe transition and find a solution to maybe transition and like intered departmentally not just like intered departmentally not just like intered departmentally not just transition them transition them out of a transition them transition them out of a transition them transition them out of a job but transition them to another job job but transition them to another job job but transition them to another job where maybe maybe the fit just wasn't where maybe maybe the fit just wasn't where maybe maybe the fit just wasn't right so there's right so there's right so there's there's surely there's a there's space there's surely there's a there's space there's surely there's a there's space for for that to be true like where the for for that to be true like where the for for that to be true like where the negativity is coming up because maybe negativity is coming up because maybe negativity is coming up because maybe this shoe just isn't quite fitting but this shoe just isn't quite fitting but this shoe just isn't quite fitting but maybe there is another shoe in this maybe there is another shoe in this maybe there is another shoe in this workplace that that is meant for you workplace that that is meant for you workplace that that is meant for you yeah and the more you earn Equity with yeah and the more you earn Equity with yeah and the more you earn Equity with someone the more that you come to someone the more that you come to someone the more that you come to understand their personality and the way understand their personality and the way understand their personality and the way that they operate you might be able to that they operate you might be able to that they operate you might be able to find another need that they can they can find another need that they can they can find another need that they can they can fill the challenge is you don't want to fill the challenge is you don't want to fill the challenge is you don't want to like Shuffle the deck to basically move like Shuffle the deck to basically move like Shuffle the deck to basically move them out of one place where they're them out of one place where they're them out of one place where they're creating an issue to just kind of like

creating an issue to just kind of like creating an issue to just kind of like re reclaim that area but then they're re reclaim that area but then they're re reclaim that area but then they're kind of floating or or they're just kind of floating or or they're just kind of floating or or they're just negatively impacting something else negatively impacting something else negatively impacting something else right the bigger the organization the right the bigger the organization the right the bigger the organization the more that we see this like HR will like more that we see this like HR will like more that we see this like HR will like move someone off of one project and move someone off of one project and move someone off of one project and they'll just like create a problem for they'll just like create a problem for they'll just like create a problem for somebody else basically in churches you somebody else basically in churches you somebody else basically in churches you don't have that same level of uh don't have that same level of uh don't have that same level of uh stratification amongst the organization stratification amongst the organization stratification amongst the organization right like you might have the lead right like you might have the lead right like you might have the lead pastor and like the executive and like pastor and like the executive and like pastor and like the executive and like the children's volunteer and the youth the children's volunteer and the youth the children's volunteer and the youth volunteer it's like everyone's wearing volunteer it's like everyone's wearing volunteer it's like everyone's wearing multiple hats anyway and so you're like multiple hats anyway and so you're like multiple hats anyway and so you're like so intertwined and intimate with one so intertwined and intimate with one so intertwined and intimate with one another it becomes even that much more another it becomes even that much more another it becomes even that much more complex which is why I usually try to complex which is why I usually try to complex which is why I usually try to get to like the the personality because get to like the the personality because get to like the the personality because like in church rarely are we like doing like in church rarely are we like doing like in church rarely are we like doing things where like it's the perfect fit things where like it's the perfect fit things where like it's the perfect fit like the whole point of church is very like the whole point of church is very like the whole point of church is very similar and this is why we talk a lot similar and this is why we talk a lot similar and this is why we talk a lot about our own organization it's like a about our own organization it's like a about our own organization it's like a startup right where it's like we hired startup right where it's like we hired startup right where it's like we hired all these people because like we get all these people because like we get all these people because like we get along do we have the skill set I don't along do we have the skill set I don't along do we have the skill set I don't know we'll figure it out as we go right know we'll figure it out as we go right know we'll figure it out as we go right like every single person listening to like every single person listening to like every single person listening to this is going like I I didn't know what this is going like I I didn't know what this is going like I I didn't know what I was doing when I was put in charge of I was doing when I was put in charge of I was doing when I was put in charge of social media right and that's why it's social media right and that's why it's social media right and that's why it's always like competency is second to always like competency is second to always like competency is second to character if you have the character we character if you have the character we character if you have the character we can develop the competency if you don't can develop the competency if you don't can develop the competency if you don't have the character the competency have the character the competency have the character the competency doesn't even matter and that's you know doesn't even matter and that's you know doesn't even matter and that's you know what we talk about the airport test what we talk about the airport test what we talk about the airport test being like I don't care how great and being like I don't care how great and being like I don't care how great and skilled you are I don't care about your skilled you are I don't care about your skilled you are I don't care about your work pedigree when I get on a call with work pedigree when I get on a call with work pedigree when I get on a call with you when I spend time with you I'm you when I spend time with you I'm you when I spend time with you I'm miserable and so those other things like miserable and so those other things like miserable and so those other things like I don't even care about as much and so I I don't even care about as much and so I I don't even care about as much and so I I think there's definitely Merit to what I think there's definitely Merit to what I think there's definitely Merit to what you're describing um but in church where you're describing um but in church where you're describing um but in church where everything is so it's not siloed

everything is so it's not siloed everything is so it's not siloed everything is like hey all in this everything is like hey all in this everything is like hey all in this together um that negativity I think together um that negativity I think together um that negativity I think spills over anywhere yeah surely what a spills over anywhere yeah surely what a spills over anywhere yeah surely what a great ending note thanks for that do you great ending note thanks for that do you great ending note thanks for that do you have any uh you know personal experience have any uh you know personal experience have any uh you know personal experience with this like in in the church world with this like in in the church world with this like in in the church world like with volunteers or with um you know like with volunteers or with um you know like with volunteers or with um you know I know staff is again you're in you know I know staff is again you're in you know I know staff is again you're in you know a typical siiz church so there's a typical siiz church so there's a typical siiz church so there's yourself and your dad in terms of you yourself and your dad in terms of you yourself and your dad in terms of you know on staff but shuffling volunteers know on staff but shuffling volunteers know on staff but shuffling volunteers negative Spirit what you've seen and negative Spirit what you've seen and negative Spirit what you've seen and done firsthand yeah I so far in in my done firsthand yeah I so far in in my done firsthand yeah I so far in in my experience of work with volunteers experience of work with volunteers experience of work with volunteers leading volunteers for the last 10 years leading volunteers for the last 10 years leading volunteers for the last 10 years I I'm I'm trying to think very quickly I I'm I'm trying to think very quickly I I'm I'm trying to think very quickly over over the course of that time and over over the course of that time and over over the course of that time and and all of the the different uh ways and all of the the different uh ways and all of the the different uh ways I've encountered and and work through I've encountered and and work through I've encountered and and work through negativity like this almost I I can't negativity like this almost I I can't negativity like this almost I I can't say positively every circumstance but say positively every circumstance but say positively every circumstance but almost every circumstance has been almost every circumstance has been almost every circumstance has been rooted in like unspoken expectations rooted in like unspoken expectations rooted in like unspoken expectations from the top down like like from ah from the top down like like from ah from the top down like like from ah right so like I have unspoken right so like I have unspoken right so like I have unspoken expectations of the volunteer and expectations of the volunteer and expectations of the volunteer and they're not meeting them and that's they're not meeting them and that's they're not meeting them and that's causing fr causing fr causing fr and sometimes the negativity is being and sometimes the negativity is being and sometimes the negativity is being like is not from the bottom up it's like is not from the bottom up it's like is not from the bottom up it's being like imputed like from me down um being like imputed like from me down um being like imputed like from me down um or they feel the the friction because or they feel the the friction because or they feel the the friction because they're not meeting my unspoken they're not meeting my unspoken they're not meeting my unspoken expectations so they're not feeling expectations so they're not feeling expectations so they're not feeling valued and their the resentment starts valued and their the resentment starts valued and their the resentment starts to build and so a lot of it a lot of it to build and so a lot of it a lot of it to build and so a lot of it a lot of it has been rooted in that very thing of of has been rooted in that very thing of of has been rooted in that very thing of of unspoken resulting in unmet expectations unspoken resulting in unmet expectations unspoken resulting in unmet expectations but that's because I didn't make them but that's because I didn't make them but that's because I didn't make them clear um so that's on me and and um and

clear um so that's on me and and um and clear um so that's on me and and um and any solution that that I have found or any solution that that I have found or any solution that that I have found or we have found has always come in um and we have found has always come in um and we have found has always come in um and through through through um personal work uh personal investment um personal work uh personal investment um personal work uh personal investment that earning Equity of like of me that earning Equity of like of me that earning Equity of like of me valuing the person over their valuing the person over their valuing the person over their performance and and repairing the performance and and repairing the performance and and repairing the relationship before trying to repair relationship before trying to repair relationship before trying to repair like their attitude about the work we're like their attitude about the work we're like their attitude about the work we're trying to do um and and because it's trying to do um and and because it's trying to do um and and because it's it's the relationship that that sustains it's the relationship that that sustains it's the relationship that that sustains we've talked about it on on this episode we've talked about it on on this episode we've talked about it on on this episode we talked about it last week like like we talked about it last week like like we talked about it last week like like going through fires together and that going through fires together and that going through fires together and that relational Equity is what enables you to relational Equity is what enables you to relational Equity is what enables you to to to take steps forward and then to to take steps forward and then to to take steps forward and then eventually start running forward eventually start running forward eventually start running forward together um as a team as a church like together um as a team as a church like together um as a team as a church like you said our church is small we're like you said our church is small we're like you said our church is small we're like everyone has their hands in the pot everyone has their hands in the pot everyone has their hands in the pot we're all just doing what we need to do we're all just doing what we need to do we're all just doing what we need to do to to keep the thing going and so this to to keep the thing going and so this to to keep the thing going and so this this pops up and investing this pops up and investing this pops up and investing interpersonally into those relationships interpersonally into those relationships interpersonally into those relationships is is is always my priority because I is is is always my priority because I is is is always my priority because I value that person's uh personhood and value that person's uh personhood and value that person's uh personhood and their presence so much more than what I their presence so much more than what I their presence so much more than what I value their work to be that if they value their work to be that if they value their work to be that if they never did the work ever again I I still never did the work ever again I I still never did the work ever again I I still value them as a member of our community value them as a member of our community value them as a member of our community and so so prioritizing that has really and so so prioritizing that has really and so so prioritizing that has really helped alleviate almost all negativity helped alleviate almost all negativity helped alleviate almost all negativity that has cropped up um because it it that has cropped up um because it it that has cropped up um because it it comes from different sources there there comes from different sources there there comes from different sources there there are different reasons that that people are different reasons that that people are different reasons that that people um feel undervalued or underappreciated um feel undervalued or underappreciated um feel undervalued or underappreciated or or not seen or or uncomfortable in or or not seen or or uncomfortable in or or not seen or or uncomfortable in the work they're doing whatever we can the work they're doing whatever we can the work they're doing whatever we can work through that um but if they know

work through that um but if they know work through that um but if they know that they're that they're loved and that they're that they're loved and that they're that they're loved and valued as a person first and foremost valued as a person first and foremost valued as a person first and foremost that really sets the stage for for that really sets the stage for for that really sets the stage for for moving through that stuff together I moving through that stuff together I moving through that stuff together I think there's a really important think there's a really important think there's a really important addendum to this addendum to this addendum to this conversation which is I feel like people conversation which is I feel like people conversation which is I feel like people are listening watching this and going are listening watching this and going are listening watching this and going like yeah like this entire episode is like yeah like this entire episode is like yeah like this entire episode is about like you the leader need to be about like you the leader need to be about like you the leader need to be better like you don't know the difficult better like you don't know the difficult better like you don't know the difficult person that I have to deal with and I person that I have to deal with and I person that I have to deal with and I think it's important to be clear that my think it's important to be clear that my think it's important to be clear that my belief of my own organization is that belief of my own organization is that belief of my own organization is that there are more skilled people that could there are more skilled people that could there are more skilled people that could be in virtually every position that we be in virtually every position that we be in virtually every position that we have save for a small handful across the have save for a small handful across the have save for a small handful across the 25 people in the company so it's not 25 people in the company so it's not 25 people in the company so it's not like we have the perfect Allstar cast of like we have the perfect Allstar cast of like we have the perfect Allstar cast of Extreme character and extreme competency Extreme character and extreme competency Extreme character and extreme competency across everything and we're like you across everything and we're like you across everything and we're like you know if you just look in the mirror know if you just look in the mirror know if you just look in the mirror things will fix and church is like you things will fix and church is like you things will fix and church is like you don't understand how difficult it is I don't understand how difficult it is I don't understand how difficult it is I just don't consider it an option to like just don't consider it an option to like just don't consider it an option to like abandon people MH and so when I neglect abandon people MH and so when I neglect abandon people MH and so when I neglect that option altogether what do I have to that option altogether what do I have to that option altogether what do I have to do I can look in the mirror and I can do I can look in the mirror and I can do I can look in the mirror and I can say what can you control how can you say what can you control how can you say what can you control how can you improve how can you set the standard how improve how can you set the standard how improve how can you set the standard how can you embody the person and the leader can you embody the person and the leader can you embody the person and the leader you want to be and understand that you want to be and understand that you want to be and understand that overtime through osmosis that will be overtime through osmosis that will be overtime through osmosis that will be picked up and how can you identify the picked up and how can you identify the picked up and how can you identify the negative traits amidst the culture and negative traits amidst the culture and negative traits amidst the culture and realize that they are simply Reflections realize that they are simply Reflections realize that they are simply Reflections and mirrors of what you have already and mirrors of what you have already and mirrors of what you have already done yourself don't say it's about done yourself don't say it's about done yourself don't say it's about somebody else somebody else somebody else don't put that on them put it on don't put that on them put it on don't put that on them put it on yourself we talked in last week's

yourself we talked in last week's yourself we talked in last week's episode sometimes in episode sometimes in episode sometimes in life greater demands are given to you to life greater demands are given to you to life greater demands are given to you to you not to them you can like get rid of you not to them you can like get rid of you not to them you can like get rid of them and think you eliminated the them and think you eliminated the them and think you eliminated the problem and maybe you did but I don't problem and maybe you did but I don't problem and maybe you did but I don't ever even consider that an option this ever even consider that an option this ever even consider that an option this is the cast that I have because all I is the cast that I have because all I is the cast that I have because all I care about is doing life with people for care about is doing life with people for care about is doing life with people for the long term we are an unusual the long term we are an unusual the long term we are an unusual for-profit organization in that way but for-profit organization in that way but for-profit organization in that way but churches are always that way the whole churches are always that way the whole churches are always that way the whole point of the church is this is the bride point of the church is this is the bride point of the church is this is the bride of Christ we are journeying together and of Christ we are journeying together and of Christ we are journeying together and yes it can get a little bit messy when yes it can get a little bit messy when yes it can get a little bit messy when like we have employment and we have like like we have employment and we have like like we have employment and we have like you're getting paid by the church and you're getting paid by the church and you're getting paid by the church and then we start to act a little bit maybe then we start to act a little bit maybe then we start to act a little bit maybe too much like Enterprise and maybe this too much like Enterprise and maybe this too much like Enterprise and maybe this is ironic coming from the Enterprise is ironic coming from the Enterprise is ironic coming from the Enterprise saying stop acting like an Enterprise saying stop acting like an Enterprise saying stop acting like an Enterprise Church act like us the Enterprise which Church act like us the Enterprise which Church act like us the Enterprise which is trying to act like a church but I'm is trying to act like a church but I'm is trying to act like a church but I'm just like these are my people and they just like these are my people and they just like these are my people and they stuck with me and I'm stuck with them stuck with me and I'm stuck with them stuck with me and I'm stuck with them and these are the concessions we have to and these are the concessions we have to and these are the concessions we have to make we don't have these skills and we make we don't have these skills and we make we don't have these skills and we have these issues and in the family this have these issues and in the family this have these issues and in the family this is the stuff that we have to deal with is the stuff that we have to deal with is the stuff that we have to deal with and this person's always going to be and this person's always going to be and this person's always going to be this way a bit and I'm always going to this way a bit and I'm always going to this way a bit and I'm always going to be this way a bit so how can I be a bit be this way a bit so how can I be a bit be this way a bit so how can I be a bit better and in that effort call them to better and in that effort call them to better and in that effort call them to be a bit better and how can we not look be a bit better and how can we not look be a bit better and how can we not look at what we have in lack because we all at what we have in lack because we all at what we have in lack because we all have lack and instead hey this is who we have lack and instead hey this is who we have lack and instead hey this is who we are and this is what we have that's are and this is what we have that's are and this is what we have that's great I have found that the more time I great I have found that the more time I great I have found that the more time I spend with others the more grateful I am spend with others the more grateful I am spend with others the more grateful I am for the people that I have here and when for the people that I have here and when for the people that I have here and when I didn't spend time with others I would I didn't spend time with others I would I didn't spend time with others I would just get focused on like this is what I just get focused on like this is what I just get focused on like this is what I wish was different in the company I wish was different in the company I wish was different in the company I spend time with others and I'm like spend time with others and I'm like spend time with others and I'm like that's actually pretty good now that that's actually pretty good now that that's actually pretty good now that isn't to say that you just you know

isn't to say that you just you know isn't to say that you just you know think about oh The Grass Is Always Green think about oh The Grass Is Always Green think about oh The Grass Is Always Green at the other side but if you forfeit in at the other side but if you forfeit in at the other side but if you forfeit in your mind the option of just like your mind the option of just like your mind the option of just like removing the issues because that's what removing the issues because that's what removing the issues because that's what we all dream of right if I could just we all dream of right if I could just we all dream of right if I could just remove this person and get rid of this remove this person and get rid of this remove this person and get rid of this attitude in this person like that's not attitude in this person like that's not attitude in this person like that's not how life works these are real people and how life works these are real people and how life works these are real people and you're lying to yourself if you don't you're lying to yourself if you don't you're lying to yourself if you don't think they don't think the same things think they don't think the same things think they don't think the same things about about about you this is who we have this is who we you this is who we have this is who we you this is who we have this is who we are how can we all take steps to be are how can we all take steps to be are how can we all take steps to be better and hold ourselves to these better and hold ourselves to these better and hold ourselves to these standards and have these standards for standards and have these standards for standards and have these standards for communication and not just look for the communication and not just look for the communication and not just look for the quick fix of of like aing a person or quick fix of of like aing a person or quick fix of of like aing a person or one character attribute about them yeah one character attribute about them yeah one character attribute about them yeah and what you're describing I'm I'm and what you're describing I'm I'm and what you're describing I'm I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul he reminded of the Apostle Paul he reminded of the Apostle Paul he describes it as like working out your describes it as like working out your describes it as like working out your own salvation you know what you're own salvation you know what you're own salvation you know what you're describing to to me is that is like okay describing to to me is that is like okay describing to to me is that is like okay prioritizing my own christlikeness my prioritizing my own christlikeness my prioritizing my own christlikeness my own Christian character hoping that that own Christian character hoping that that own Christian character hoping that that that will be reciprocated mired by the that will be reciprocated mired by the that will be reciprocated mired by the community and by our staff by our community and by our staff by our community and by our staff by our volunteers um but here's the thing about volunteers um but here's the thing about volunteers um but here's the thing about this for anyone who's worked in church this for anyone who's worked in church this for anyone who's worked in church or anyone who's lived life um we know or anyone who's lived life um we know or anyone who's lived life um we know that that you could work out your that that you could work out your that that you could work out your salvation as as much as as humanly salvation as as much as as humanly salvation as as much as as humanly possible you could be the Supreme um possible you could be the Supreme um possible you could be the Supreme um vision of christlikeness and Christian vision of christlikeness and Christian vision of christlikeness and Christian character you will not bat a thousand um character you will not bat a thousand um character you will not bat a thousand um in the sense of people reciprocating uh in the sense of people reciprocating uh in the sense of people reciprocating uh that type of Salvation work there will that type of Salvation work there will that type of Salvation work there will be folks who will not be willing to work be folks who will not be willing to work be folks who will not be willing to work out their own salvation to that measure out their own salvation to that measure out their own salvation to that measure and they will in my experience and they will in my experience and they will in my experience inevitably fall away I'm not saying in inevitably fall away I'm not saying in inevitably fall away I'm not saying in the sense from the faith but they they the sense from the faith but they they the sense from the faith but they they they will they will not accept the call they will they will not accept the call they will they will not accept the call to be transformed from Glory to glory to be transformed from Glory to glory to be transformed from Glory to glory and they will move on and they'll find and they will move on and they'll find and they will move on and they'll find another faith community and those types

another faith community and those types another faith community and those types of folks until they accept that call of folks until they accept that call of folks until they accept that call that behavior is often recycled you that behavior is often recycled you that behavior is often recycled you you'll hear from that Community oh this you'll hear from that Community oh this you'll hear from that Community oh this person is behaving in the same way and person is behaving in the same way and person is behaving in the same way and oh they're in another church now because oh they're in another church now because oh they're in another church now because the last one and and it's like you can't the last one and and it's like you can't the last one and and it's like you can't even Jesus didn't b a thousand there even Jesus didn't b a thousand there even Jesus didn't b a thousand there were lots of folks who fell away when were lots of folks who fell away when were lots of folks who fell away when they heard what he had to say and how he they heard what he had to say and how he they heard what he had to say and how he was living his life and so so you yes we was living his life and so so you yes we was living his life and so so you yes we must accept our personal responsibility must accept our personal responsibility must accept our personal responsibility while not assuming that to theg that we while not assuming that to theg that we while not assuming that to theg that we accept our personal responsibility accept our personal responsibility accept our personal responsibility everyone else will will reciprocate it everyone else will will reciprocate it everyone else will will reciprocate it um in the same way there will be folks um in the same way there will be folks um in the same way there will be folks who fall away and and that is life who fall away and and that is life who fall away and and that is life that's church that's faith and and you that's church that's faith and and you that's church that's faith and and you let them go in the grace of God know let them go in the grace of God know let them go in the grace of God know that the grace of God is holding them that the grace of God is holding them that the grace of God is holding them and that God is performing his own work and that God is performing his own work and that God is performing his own work in and through them um while you accept in and through them um while you accept in and through them um while you accept your own responsibility to work out your your own responsibility to work out your your own responsibility to work out your own salvation that is a very own salvation that is a very own salvation that is a very sober-minded closing thought so we will sober-minded closing thought so we will sober-minded closing thought so we will thank you for your time attention and thank you for your time attention and thank you for your time attention and Trust we'll talk to you next week [Music] [Music] native Church staff fire them yep yeah native Church staff fire them yep yeah native Church staff fire them yep yeah you just got to let him you just got to let him you just got to let him [Music] [Music] [Music] go