10 Ways Churches scare off Newcomers

is your church guilty of these 10 is your church guilty of these 10 visitor repelling behaviors we've visitor repelling behaviors we've visitor repelling behaviors we've compiled real reports from church compiled real reports from church compiled real reports from church visitors detailing what scares them off visitors detailing what scares them off visitors detailing what scares them off because you only get to make one first because you only get to make one first because you only get to make one first impression so let's make it a good one impression so let's make it a good one impression so let's make it a good one let's dive let's dive let's dive in well hey there and welcome to the pro in well hey there and welcome to the pro in well hey there and welcome to the pro Church tools show we're here to help you Church tools show we're here to help you Church tools show we're here to help you and your church navigate the biggest and your church navigate the biggest and your church navigate the biggest communication shift in 500 years I'm communication shift in 500 years I'm communication shift in 500 years I'm Brady Shear your host I'm Jo as always Brady Shear your host I'm Jo as always Brady Shear your host I'm Jo as always by my co-host it's the man that we call by my co-host it's the man that we call by my co-host it's the man that we call Pastor Palm Alexander Mills hello hello Pastor Palm Alexander Mills hello hello Pastor Palm Alexander Mills hello hello so these are real reports that we have so these are real reports that we have so these are real reports that we have today today today from people that have visited churches from people that have visited churches from people that have visited churches and given their feedback on the not so and given their feedback on the not so and given their feedback on the not so fun things that these churches did fun things that these churches did fun things that these churches did they're compiled from our YouTube they're compiled from our YouTube they're compiled from our YouTube comment section Alex take us away with comment section Alex take us away with comment section Alex take us away with number one the first one we call the new number one the first one we call the new number one the first one we call the new visitor Spotlight this comment comes visitor Spotlight this comment comes visitor Spotlight this comment comes from user handle at D from user handle at D from user handle at D Herndon you come to our little church Herndon you come to our little church Herndon you come to our little church they want you to fill a visitor card and they want you to fill a visitor card and they want you to fill a visitor card and the pastor will tell everyone your name the pastor will tell everyone your name the pastor will tell everyone your name and says and I quote give them a hand and says and I quote give them a hand and says and I quote give them a hand clap I think the hand clap would feel clap I think the hand clap would feel clap I think the hand clap would feel weird to the visitors I want to know the weird to the visitors I want to know the weird to the visitors I want to know the difference between a hand clap and just difference between a hand clap and just difference between a hand clap and just like a round of applause is a hand clap like a round of applause is a hand clap like a round of applause is a hand clap somehow more in the theme of like somehow more in the theme of like somehow more in the theme of like offering whereas Round Round of Applause offering whereas Round Round of Applause offering whereas Round Round of Applause is is too secular calling them out by is is too secular calling them out by is is too secular calling them out by name is Tough asking them to stand yikes name is Tough asking them to stand yikes name is Tough asking them to stand yikes but uh a hand clap a hand clap so this but uh a hand clap a hand clap so this but uh a hand clap a hand clap so this is obviously done with the objective of is obviously done with the objective of is obviously done with the objective of honoring the new visitor yeah welcome honoring the new visitor yeah welcome honoring the new visitor yeah welcome and acknowledging the new visitor uh but and acknowledging the new visitor uh but and acknowledging the new visitor uh but the reality is despite the best the reality is despite the best the reality is despite the best intentions from churches this this intentions from churches this this intentions from churches this this almost always makes people feel

almost always makes people feel almost always makes people feel uncomfortable uh visiting churches we uncomfortable uh visiting churches we uncomfortable uh visiting churches we have to remember is not an easy have to remember is not an easy have to remember is not an easy experience for most people it's not akin experience for most people it's not akin experience for most people it's not akin to visiting a restaurant on the spectrum to visiting a restaurant on the spectrum to visiting a restaurant on the spectrum of comfort it's it's it's usually of comfort it's it's it's usually of comfort it's it's it's usually challenging because you're talking about challenging because you're talking about challenging because you're talking about entering a place that's going to be entering a place that's going to be entering a place that's going to be discussing really intense issues you discussing really intense issues you discussing really intense issues you know we talk about church dealing with know we talk about church dealing with know we talk about church dealing with the existential matters of life and the existential matters of life and the existential matters of life and faith and Eternity and purpose and hope faith and Eternity and purpose and hope faith and Eternity and purpose and hope and Community a and and to make someone and Community a and and to make someone and Community a and and to make someone the spotlight and subject of attention the spotlight and subject of attention the spotlight and subject of attention despite the best um Intentions by the despite the best um Intentions by the despite the best um Intentions by the senior leadership is almost always uh we senior leadership is almost always uh we senior leadership is almost always uh we would recommend avoiding it now I do would recommend avoiding it now I do would recommend avoiding it now I do think it's worth mentioning you know the think it's worth mentioning you know the think it's worth mentioning you know the the topic that we're discussing here the the topic that we're discussing here the the topic that we're discussing here the aim is to make people feel comfortable aim is to make people feel comfortable aim is to make people feel comfortable when they come to church and certainly when they come to church and certainly when they come to church and certainly there are going to be people that are there are going to be people that are there are going to be people that are watching and listening that are against watching and listening that are against watching and listening that are against that ideal altogether and so to explain that ideal altogether and so to explain that ideal altogether and so to explain kind of like my approach to this um I kind of like my approach to this um I kind of like my approach to this um I want the wisdom of scripture and a life want the wisdom of scripture and a life want the wisdom of scripture and a life with Jesus to be as accessible as with Jesus to be as accessible as with Jesus to be as accessible as possible possible possible to people that are from God so as we to people that are from God so as we to people that are from God so as we don't compromise the gospel in the don't compromise the gospel in the don't compromise the gospel in the process but I also recognize that some process but I also recognize that some process but I also recognize that some people are like look if you come into people are like look if you come into people are like look if you come into the church I don't want you to feel the church I don't want you to feel the church I don't want you to feel comfortable this church is not for you comfortable this church is not for you comfortable this church is not for you this church is for the Saints and our this church is for the Saints and our this church is for the Saints and our job is to go out into the world and we job is to go out into the world and we job is to go out into the world and we tell people about Jesus but we we meet tell people about Jesus but we we meet tell people about Jesus but we we meet together as a family on Sunday like together as a family on Sunday like together as a family on Sunday like you're not going to feel fit in and you're not going to feel fit in and you're not going to feel fit in and that's intentional uh two different that's intentional uh two different that's intentional uh two different styles of church if that's your style of styles of church if that's your style of styles of church if that's your style of church this is not going to be your church this is not going to be your church this is not going to be your style of episode frankly and so feel style of episode frankly and so feel style of episode frankly and so feel free to uh Move Along free to uh Move Along free to uh Move Along uh I also want to say one more

uh I also want to say one more uh I also want to say one more disclaimer there's going to be a lot in disclaimer there's going to be a lot in disclaimer there's going to be a lot in this episode right we've got 10 this episode right we've got 10 this episode right we've got 10 different items to go through we're not different items to go through we're not different items to go through we're not trying to Heap more of a burden onto trying to Heap more of a burden onto trying to Heap more of a burden onto anyone's plate and so I just want to anyone's plate and so I just want to anyone's plate and so I just want to like explain how I listen to episodes like explain how I listen to episodes like explain how I listen to episodes that are like this I go through an that are like this I go through an that are like this I go through an episode my goal is to get one thing just episode my goal is to get one thing just episode my goal is to get one thing just one that I can actually take action on one that I can actually take action on one that I can actually take action on the that's that's preferable over the that's that's preferable over the that's that's preferable over hearing all 10 and being like I agree hearing all 10 and being like I agree hearing all 10 and being like I agree with all 10 and then never actually with all 10 and then never actually with all 10 and then never actually implementing any of them so if you implementing any of them so if you implementing any of them so if you listen all 10 you're like man there's a listen all 10 you're like man there's a listen all 10 you're like man there's a lot of people that come to church and lot of people that come to church and lot of people that come to church and they don't like a lot of things we're they don't like a lot of things we're they don't like a lot of things we're doing everything wrong say hey we're doing everything wrong say hey we're doing everything wrong say hey we're just highlighting things that are just highlighting things that are just highlighting things that are happening just pick one one that you're happening just pick one one that you're happening just pick one one that you're like you know what we do engage in that like you know what we do engage in that like you know what we do engage in that bad habit and we can easily remedy it bad habit and we can easily remedy it bad habit and we can easily remedy it and do that yeah uh we're going to hit and do that yeah uh we're going to hit and do that yeah uh we're going to hit on 10 of these things that churches do on 10 of these things that churches do on 10 of these things that churches do that can scare off newcomers and most of that can scare off newcomers and most of that can scare off newcomers and most of them if not all of them surely are them if not all of them surely are them if not all of them surely are well-intentioned you know folks who are well-intentioned you know folks who are well-intentioned you know folks who are leading in the church working in the leading in the church working in the leading in the church working in the church who want to welcome visitors but church who want to welcome visitors but church who want to welcome visitors but for folks who are for most folks who are for folks who are for most folks who are for folks who are for most folks who are leading or working in churches it's been leading or working in churches it's been leading or working in churches it's been a very it's likely been a very long time a very it's likely been a very long time a very it's likely been a very long time since you've been a visitor or newcomer since you've been a visitor or newcomer since you've been a visitor or newcomer at a church and so this is just it's at a church and so this is just it's at a church and so this is just it's just good to just gain a little bit bit just good to just gain a little bit bit just good to just gain a little bit bit of perspective from the people on the of perspective from the people on the of perspective from the people on the internet from people who are very likely internet from people who are very likely internet from people who are very likely new visitors visiting churches and so new visitors visiting churches and so new visitors visiting churches and so this is what they have to say you want this is what they have to say you want this is what they have to say you want to move on to number two well yeah and to move on to number two well yeah and to move on to number two well yeah and we're not we're taking it directly from we're not we're taking it directly from we're not we're taking it directly from the YouTube comment section yes like the YouTube comment section yes like the YouTube comment section yes like we're we're not saying this is how a we're we're not saying this is how a we're we're not saying this is how a variety of different people have felt variety of different people have felt variety of different people have felt and so we want to hear uh hear what they and so we want to hear uh hear what they and so we want to hear uh hear what they have to say Okay so number two we're have to say Okay so number two we're have to say Okay so number two we're calling this Insider jargon or

calling this Insider jargon or calling this Insider jargon or Traditions user at I'm going to butcher Traditions user at I'm going to butcher Traditions user at I'm going to butcher all of these low Vasquez 7198 says all of these low Vasquez 7198 says all of these low Vasquez 7198 says explaining how to find a specific verse explaining how to find a specific verse explaining how to find a specific verse on a Bible I remember the first time I on a Bible I remember the first time I on a Bible I remember the first time I heard someone quote something from the heard someone quote something from the heard someone quote something from the Bible and not knowing what they were Bible and not knowing what they were Bible and not knowing what they were talking about okay so think about fine talking about okay so think about fine talking about okay so think about fine dining most people don't like fine dining most people don't like fine dining most people don't like fine dining fine dining is reserved for a dining fine dining is reserved for a dining fine dining is reserved for a certain subset of the population the certain subset of the population the certain subset of the population the reason most people don't like it is reason most people don't like it is reason most people don't like it is because it's a very much if know you because it's a very much if know you because it's a very much if know you know kind of experience it's meant to be know kind of experience it's meant to be know kind of experience it's meant to be for people that get it and if you don't for people that get it and if you don't for people that get it and if you don't get it you're supposed to think why is get it you're supposed to think why is get it you're supposed to think why is this portion so small why did they do this portion so small why did they do this portion so small why did they do this to that food why is it plated this this to that food why is it plated this this to that food why is it plated this way why am I eating food is this art or way why am I eating food is this art or way why am I eating food is this art or is this food like or even even to this is this food like or even even to this is this food like or even even to this comment like the language you open the comment like the language you open the comment like the language you open the wine list or even even the menu even the wine list or even even the menu even the wine list or even even the menu even the words on the menu that that are words on the menu that that are words on the menu that that are describing cooking techniques that are describing cooking techniques that are describing cooking techniques that are in French verbage it's like I don't in French verbage it's like I don't in French verbage it's like I don't actually know what language we're actually know what language we're actually know what language we're speaking here we're not on the same page speaking here we're not on the same page speaking here we're not on the same page 100% if you want to keep using jargon 100% if you want to keep using jargon 100% if you want to keep using jargon and traditions the risk that you run in and traditions the risk that you run in and traditions the risk that you run in church is creating an experience like church is creating an experience like church is creating an experience like that I think there's a way to do this that I think there's a way to do this that I think there's a way to do this well because what we don't want is to well because what we don't want is to well because what we don't want is to completely like get rid of the church completely like get rid of the church completely like get rid of the church jargon and church traditions for the jargon and church traditions for the jargon and church traditions for the sake of making church accessible to sake of making church accessible to sake of making church accessible to people I don't think because a lot of people I don't think because a lot of people I don't think because a lot of what makes church church is that jargon what makes church church is that jargon what makes church church is that jargon and traditions and so this is really and traditions and so this is really and traditions and so this is really like a fine line to walk a really simple like a fine line to walk a really simple like a fine line to walk a really simple rule of thumb to walk this well think is rule of thumb to walk this well think is rule of thumb to walk this well think is when you do any type of uh uh thing in

when you do any type of uh uh thing in when you do any type of uh uh thing in church whether it's use a phrase or church whether it's use a phrase or church whether it's use a phrase or engage in a certain liturgy or Rhythm or engage in a certain liturgy or Rhythm or engage in a certain liturgy or Rhythm or habit whatever it might be bit of habit whatever it might be bit of habit whatever it might be bit of programming is just give it a very brief programming is just give it a very brief programming is just give it a very brief explanation for what it is what this explanation for what it is what this explanation for what it is what this does is it actually invites people that does is it actually invites people that does is it actually invites people that are outside of the circle into the are outside of the circle into the are outside of the circle into the circle which in many ways is better than circle which in many ways is better than circle which in many ways is better than not using the jargon or Traditions at not using the jargon or Traditions at not using the jargon or Traditions at all because you're basically saying like all because you're basically saying like all because you're basically saying like yeah we are a church this is our way of yeah we are a church this is our way of yeah we are a church this is our way of life this is our worldview we not the life this is our worldview we not the life this is our worldview we not the same as the world and we have our own same as the world and we have our own same as the world and we have our own set of language and our own set of doing set of language and our own set of doing set of language and our own set of doing things but those don't exist to keep you things but those don't exist to keep you things but those don't exist to keep you separate yeah we want to invite you into separate yeah we want to invite you into separate yeah we want to invite you into what these are and they might be foreign what these are and they might be foreign what these are and they might be foreign and unfamiliar at first so let me give and unfamiliar at first so let me give and unfamiliar at first so let me give you a very brief explanation yeah so if you a very brief explanation yeah so if you a very brief explanation yeah so if you do something like communion you can you do something like communion you can you do something like communion you can briefly explain like why do we do this briefly explain like why do we do this briefly explain like why do we do this and that way someone's like okay maybe and that way someone's like okay maybe and that way someone's like okay maybe I'm ready to engage with this maybe I'm I'm ready to engage with this maybe I'm I'm ready to engage with this maybe I'm not but at the very least it's not this not but at the very least it's not this not but at the very least it's not this foreign thing that's creating distance foreign thing that's creating distance foreign thing that's creating distance between me and the church yeah I will between me and the church yeah I will between me and the church yeah I will employ this a lot um actually in a employ this a lot um actually in a employ this a lot um actually in a similar way to this comment so when I'm similar way to this comment so when I'm similar way to this comment so when I'm when I'm preaching if we're preaching on when I'm preaching if we're preaching on when I'm preaching if we're preaching on a a a text a Bible verse that in the a a a text a Bible verse that in the a a a text a Bible verse that in the Christian tradition is familiar you'll Christian tradition is familiar you'll Christian tradition is familiar you'll often hear a preacher say like oh I'm often hear a preacher say like oh I'm often hear a preacher say like oh I'm sure you've heard the story or you guys sure you've heard the story or you guys sure you've heard the story or you guys know how this story goes right which know how this story goes right which know how this story goes right which from a from like a thoroughly Christian from a from like a thoroughly Christian from a from like a thoroughly Christian Perspective that that's probably true Perspective that that's probably true Perspective that that's probably true most people who are churched may be most people who are churched may be most people who are churched may be familiar with the story you're about to familiar with the story you're about to familiar with the story you're about to read but I just I just um reform that read but I just I just um reform that read but I just I just um reform that language a little and say you may have language a little and say you may have language a little and say you may have heard the story before or if you're heard the story before or if you're heard the story before or if you're hearing it for the first time you're in hearing it for the first time you're in hearing it for the first time you're in for a good one just something like that for a good one just something like that for a good one just something like that acknowledges that like yes this is a

acknowledges that like yes this is a acknowledges that like yes this is a familiar story we're reading the story familiar story we're reading the story familiar story we're reading the story of the prodical son again but there are of the prodical son again but there are of the prodical son again but there are folks in the room that are hearing it folks in the room that are hearing it folks in the room that are hearing it for the first time and they deserve to for the first time and they deserve to for the first time and they deserve to be acknowledged and like you said be acknowledged and like you said be acknowledged and like you said welcomed into the fold as well and so it welcomed into the fold as well and so it welcomed into the fold as well and so it really once you start um putting an really once you start um putting an really once you start um putting an effort towards just tending to this effort towards just tending to this effort towards just tending to this language a little bit it doesn't take language a little bit it doesn't take language a little bit it doesn't take much effort but the rewards for new much effort but the rewards for new much effort but the rewards for new visitors are are are just incredible visitors are are are just incredible visitors are are are just incredible right so you could say something in this right so you could say something in this right so you could say something in this example hey hey uh if you could turn to example hey hey uh if you could turn to example hey hey uh if you could turn to Matthew 11 and then you could say Matthew 11 and then you could say Matthew 11 and then you could say Matthew uh you know one of the gospels Matthew uh you know one of the gospels Matthew uh you know one of the gospels probably be closer to the second third probably be closer to the second third probably be closer to the second third of your Bible if you're opening it uh of your Bible if you're opening it uh of your Bible if you're opening it uh well first book of the New Testament and well first book of the New Testament and well first book of the New Testament and now you've kind of like just laid it now you've kind of like just laid it now you've kind of like just laid it took you three seconds you just gave a took you three seconds you just gave a took you three seconds you just gave a little bit of context and now someone little bit of context and now someone little bit of context and now someone that uh has never turned to that book in that uh has never turned to that book in that uh has never turned to that book in the Bible before they have at least some the Bible before they have at least some the Bible before they have at least some type of like okay you got me in the type of like okay you got me in the type of like okay you got me in the world a little bit um it's also not world a little bit um it's also not world a little bit um it's also not taking away from anyone that's in the taking away from anyone that's in the taking away from anyone that's in the room exactly and maybe that's normal for room exactly and maybe that's normal for room exactly and maybe that's normal for for Matthew but you know if you're like for Matthew but you know if you're like for Matthew but you know if you're like deep in the Minor Prophets and you're deep in the Minor Prophets and you're deep in the Minor Prophets and you're like calling out one of those you can like calling out one of those you can like calling out one of those you can say Ah that's actually one of the Minor say Ah that's actually one of the Minor say Ah that's actually one of the Minor Prophets You Know roughly middle a Prophets You Know roughly middle a Prophets You Know roughly middle a little bit later than the middle in your little bit later than the middle in your little bit later than the middle in your Bible if you're just opening it right Bible if you're just opening it right Bible if you're just opening it right there yeah of course if we're all using there yeah of course if we're all using there yeah of course if we're all using digital Bibles this problem solved digital Bibles this problem solved digital Bibles this problem solved anyways thank you tech for again solving anyways thank you tech for again solving anyways thank you tech for again solving a problem well that's we say that again a problem well that's we say that again a problem well that's we say that again at our church on Sundays when we open at our church on Sundays when we open at our church on Sundays when we open the the text we say hey if you have your the the text we say hey if you have your the the text we say hey if you have your Bibles with you turn to this passage if Bibles with you turn to this passage if Bibles with you turn to this passage if you don't have a Bible with you either you don't have a Bible with you either you don't have a Bible with you either just let us know and we'll give you one just let us know and we'll give you one just let us know and we'll give you one or the words will be up on the screen or or the words will be up on the screen or or the words will be up on the screen or if you just want to Simply close your if you just want to Simply close your if you just want to Simply close your eyes and let the gospel walk over you eyes and let the gospel walk over you eyes and let the gospel walk over you that's good too and so we say that every that's good too and so we say that every that's good too and so we say that every time we open the scriptures just like time we open the scriptures just like time we open the scriptures just like like no matter where anyone whether they

like no matter where anyone whether they like no matter where anyone whether they are churched or unchurched whatever are churched or unchurched whatever are churched or unchurched whatever they're bringing to the the space what they're bringing to the the space what they're bringing to the the space what whatever whatever head space they're in whatever whatever head space they're in whatever whatever head space they're in that day they feel um at ease and that day they feel um at ease and that day they feel um at ease and relaxed in the presence of what we're relaxed in the presence of what we're relaxed in the presence of what we're doing which is like very religious doing which is like very religious doing which is like very religious activity and and that's the risk here activity and and that's the risk here activity and and that's the risk here with which is like censoring our with which is like censoring our with which is like censoring our language to the point where like we lose language to the point where like we lose language to the point where like we lose some of the religious Rich religious some of the religious Rich religious some of the religious Rich religious tradition that we have and that's tradition that we have and that's tradition that we have and that's important to to our faith and so I think important to to our faith and so I think important to to our faith and so I think this is this is the perfect Middle this is this is the perfect Middle this is this is the perfect Middle Ground which is using the language but Ground which is using the language but Ground which is using the language but um defining it when it's necessary that um defining it when it's necessary that um defining it when it's necessary that additional phrasing takes just a few additional phrasing takes just a few additional phrasing takes just a few seconds but it makes all the difference seconds but it makes all the difference seconds but it makes all the difference yes next one we're calling this forced yes next one we're calling this forced yes next one we're calling this forced small talk and mingling comment comes small talk and mingling comment comes small talk and mingling comment comes from from from at at pineapple at at pineapple at at pineapple 3555 the um Avatar is a pineapple they 3555 the um Avatar is a pineapple they 3555 the um Avatar is a pineapple they say I hate shaking hands I literally had say I hate shaking hands I literally had say I hate shaking hands I literally had a break toown the last time I went to a break toown the last time I went to a break toown the last time I went to church now I have to go again in a church now I have to go again in a church now I have to go again in a couple of hours with my family and I'm couple of hours with my family and I'm couple of hours with my family and I'm here crying there's definitely something here crying there's definitely something here crying there's definitely something wrong with me listen pineapple 3555 I'm wrong with me listen pineapple 3555 I'm wrong with me listen pineapple 3555 I'm not sure there's something wrong with not sure there's something wrong with not sure there's something wrong with you but I think maybe you have a little you but I think maybe you have a little you but I think maybe you have a little bit of anxiety that you might want to bit of anxiety that you might want to bit of anxiety that you might want to talk to a therapist about look social talk to a therapist about look social talk to a therapist about look social social anxiety is a real thing and I social anxiety is a real thing and I social anxiety is a real thing and I would venture to guess that it is the would venture to guess that it is the would venture to guess that it is the minority of people that enjoy the turn minority of people that enjoy the turn minority of people that enjoy the turn to your neighbor and shake their hands to your neighbor and shake their hands to your neighbor and shake their hands part of service and there's a reason why part of service and there's a reason why part of service and there's a reason why most churches don't do this anymore uh most churches don't do this anymore uh most churches don't do this anymore uh that being said I like I have a firm that being said I like I have a firm that being said I like I have a firm recommendation for what you should do or recommendation for what you should do or recommendation for what you should do or what you should not do here because what you should not do here because what you should not do here because similar to our previous item on the list

similar to our previous item on the list similar to our previous item on the list like we want people to not just come to like we want people to not just come to like we want people to not just come to church and engage in the spectator sport church and engage in the spectator sport church and engage in the spectator sport of sitting in the Pew and like listening of sitting in the Pew and like listening of sitting in the Pew and like listening we want them to rub shoulders with the we want them to rub shoulders with the we want them to rub shoulders with the people in the faith community and one of people in the faith community and one of people in the faith community and one of the easiest ways to get them to rub the easiest ways to get them to rub the easiest ways to get them to rub shoulders is by literally forcing them shoulders is by literally forcing them shoulders is by literally forcing them and you know you can't make them you and you know you can't make them you and you know you can't make them you definitely can't make them come early definitely can't make them come early definitely can't make them come early and you can't make him stay late so if and you can't make him stay late so if and you can't make him stay late so if you get him right in the middle and say you get him right in the middle and say you get him right in the middle and say you need to turn around right now and you need to turn around right now and you need to turn around right now and shake the hand of the person next to you shake the hand of the person next to you shake the hand of the person next to you they're not going anywhere are we saying they're not going anywhere are we saying they're not going anywhere are we saying we need to bring this back we still do we need to bring this back we still do we need to bring this back we still do it are we old it are we old it are we old yes I feel like 5 years ago on this show yes I feel like 5 years ago on this show yes I feel like 5 years ago on this show we would have been like look we're in we would have been like look we're in we would have been like look we're in our 20s and we need to stop with this our 20s and we need to stop with this our 20s and we need to stop with this and now we're in our 30s and we're like and now we're in our 30s and we're like and now we're in our 30s and we're like I mean the thing is like don't you want I mean the thing is like don't you want I mean the thing is like don't you want to meet like the woman next to you and to meet like the woman next to you and to meet like the woman next to you and say like hi like oh you're a nice old say like hi like oh you're a nice old say like hi like oh you're a nice old lady that comes to church oh you're lady that comes to church oh you're lady that comes to church oh you're someone my age or you're someone I've someone my age or you're someone I've someone my age or you're someone I've never met you before like here's what never met you before like here's what never met you before like here's what you shouldn't do though you're a pastor you shouldn't do though you're a pastor you shouldn't do though you're a pastor okay closing the service you're praying okay closing the service you're praying okay closing the service you're praying you say reach over grab the hand of the you say reach over grab the hand of the you say reach over grab the hand of the person next to you you can't be doing person next to you you can't be doing person next to you you can't be doing that we can't be doing that we can't be that we can't be doing that we can't be that we can't be doing that we can't be forcing people to grab the hand of the forcing people to grab the hand of the forcing people to grab the hand of the person next to them but we can invite person next to them but we can invite person next to them but we can invite the mid service hey we've just finished the mid service hey we've just finished the mid service hey we've just finished singing I invite you to take the few singing I invite you to take the few singing I invite you to take the few moments and say hi to the people around moments and say hi to the people around moments and say hi to the people around you just a laying of hands you just a laying of hands you just a laying of hands that go ahead greet them with a holy that go ahead greet them with a holy that go ahead greet them with a holy kiss why don't you Pastor Pentecostal kiss why don't you Pastor Pentecostal kiss why don't you Pastor Pentecostal kind of turning his back on his kind of turning his back on his kind of turning his back on his tradition um do you guys do this at at tradition um do you guys do this at at tradition um do you guys do this at at Central like cuz that's big church yeah Central like cuz that's big church yeah Central like cuz that's big church yeah and for whatever reason and this is I and for whatever reason and this is I and for whatever reason and this is I think what I included on the list at think what I included on the list at think what I included on the list at church on Sunday I was like waiting for church on Sunday I was like waiting for church on Sunday I was like waiting for it to happen we don't normally do it but it to happen we don't normally do it but it to happen we don't normally do it but like there was this lull and I was like

like there was this lull and I was like like there was this lull and I was like are we is it going to happen cuz we our are we is it going to happen cuz we our are we is it going to happen cuz we our church does tend to like mix up church does tend to like mix up church does tend to like mix up programming a lot in a way that I really programming a lot in a way that I really programming a lot in a way that I really appreciate like we have like our core appreciate like we have like our core appreciate like we have like our core stuff but we're always doing things that stuff but we're always doing things that stuff but we're always doing things that are slightly different like Pastor was are slightly different like Pastor was are slightly different like Pastor was preaching this week and he invited preaching this week and he invited preaching this week and he invited another Pastor on stage to tell a another Pastor on stage to tell a another Pastor on stage to tell a specific story that was relevant to the specific story that was relevant to the specific story that was relevant to the message the message was about gentleness message the message was about gentleness message the message was about gentleness and the fruit of the spirit I didn't and the fruit of the spirit I didn't and the fruit of the spirit I didn't really get to hear it because uh my really get to hear it because uh my really get to hear it because uh my child's name got flashed on the screen child's name got flashed on the screen child's name got flashed on the screen because she was having a meltdown so because she was having a meltdown so because she was having a meltdown so first time that had ever happen to me first time that had ever happen to me first time that had ever happen to me big one or little one a little one yeah big one or little one a little one yeah big one or little one a little one yeah yeah Central 133 please come to the door yeah Central 133 please come to the door yeah Central 133 please come to the door because your child is having a meltdown because your child is having a meltdown because your child is having a meltdown and I was like so then you have to do and I was like so then you have to do and I was like so then you have to do like the Walk of Shame out of church like the Walk of Shame out of church like the Walk of Shame out of church luckily we were seated near the back we luckily we were seated near the back we luckily we were seated near the back we still have to walk through like 10 10 still have to walk through like 10 10 still have to walk through like 10 10 rows so yeah we didn't do it felt like rows so yeah we didn't do it felt like rows so yeah we didn't do it felt like it was about to happen and and and I was it was about to happen and and and I was it was about to happen and and and I was like No And I was like you like No And I was like you like No And I was like you know I like the Catholic Church they know I like the Catholic Church they know I like the Catholic Church they offer peace you just stay in your Pew offer peace you just stay in your Pew offer peace you just stay in your Pew and you just look around and you do the and you just look around and you do the and you just look around and you do the peace sign at everyone okay that's peace sign at everyone okay that's peace sign at everyone okay that's interesting yeah no touching I I I I'm interesting yeah no touching I I I I'm interesting yeah no touching I I I I'm I'm open to bringing in Traditions cross I'm open to bringing in Traditions cross I'm open to bringing in Traditions cross denominations there you go acumenical uh denominations there you go acumenical uh denominations there you go acumenical uh moving on inauthentic or incomplete moving on inauthentic or incomplete moving on inauthentic or incomplete online footprint online footprint online footprint at dingal says at dingal says at dingal says we we've moved many times and finding a we we've moved many times and finding a we we've moved many times and finding a new church is always a task I will often new church is always a task I will often new church is always a task I will often go to a Wednesday night service if they go to a Wednesday night service if they go to a Wednesday night service if they have one you can get a real feel about have one you can get a real feel about have one you can get a real feel about the core people at another at at a the core people at another at at a the core people at another at at a service other than a Sunday service so service other than a Sunday service so service other than a Sunday service so in our arguably wow that's a pro move in our arguably wow that's a pro move in our arguably wow that's a pro move that's that's a veteran move it should that's that's a veteran move it should that's that's a veteran move it should be unnecessary yeah the reason this

be unnecessary yeah the reason this be unnecessary yeah the reason this person does this is because they've person does this is because they've person does this is because they've moved frequently they've visited new moved frequently they've visited new moved frequently they've visited new churches frequently and they have found churches frequently and they have found churches frequently and they have found almost always that they go to a church almost always that they go to a church almost always that they go to a church and they like don't get an accurate feel and they like don't get an accurate feel and they like don't get an accurate feel for what they were expecting from the for what they were expecting from the for what they were expecting from the online presence and we've talked about online presence and we've talked about online presence and we've talked about this a lot recently about how photos of this a lot recently about how photos of this a lot recently about how photos of real people from your church should be real people from your church should be real people from your church should be the found design element of your the found design element of your the found design element of your Church's website so that when folks are Church's website so that when folks are Church's website so that when folks are looking for a new church in a new area looking for a new church in a new area looking for a new church in a new area they search Church my area they land on they search Church my area they land on they search Church my area they land on your Church's website immediately your Church's website immediately your Church's website immediately they're seeing real photos of real they're seeing real photos of real they're seeing real photos of real smiling people from your church in your smiling people from your church in your smiling people from your church in your church space similarly uh on Instagram a church space similarly uh on Instagram a church space similarly uh on Instagram a lot of younger folks are skipping right lot of younger folks are skipping right lot of younger folks are skipping right past the website and opening your past the website and opening your past the website and opening your Instagram to see how active you are and Instagram to see how active you are and Instagram to see how active you are and what your church looks like not the what your church looks like not the what your church looks like not the outside of the building the inside what outside of the building the inside what outside of the building the inside what do the service look like what do the do the service look like what do the do the service look like what do the people look like and we're calling this people look like and we're calling this people look like and we're calling this inauthentic or incomplete online inauthentic or incomplete online inauthentic or incomplete online footprint this is to say when folks look footprint this is to say when folks look footprint this is to say when folks look for a Church online and they see for a Church online and they see for a Church online and they see something or they see nothing and then something or they see nothing and then something or they see nothing and then they come in person and it's in they come in person and it's in they come in person and it's in congruent that's disorienting to a new congruent that's disorienting to a new congruent that's disorienting to a new visitor yeah and again we probably think visitor yeah and again we probably think visitor yeah and again we probably think the church has the best intentions in the church has the best intentions in the church has the best intentions in mind when I say inauthentic that can be mind when I say inauthentic that can be mind when I say inauthentic that can be interpreted as oh they're trying to hide interpreted as oh they're trying to hide interpreted as oh they're trying to hide something I don't really mean that I something I don't really mean that I something I don't really mean that I just don't mean like it's a congruent just don't mean like it's a congruent just don't mean like it's a congruent representation uh it's not an accurate representation uh it's not an accurate representation uh it's not an accurate representation or it's an incomplete representation or it's an incomplete representation or it's an incomplete representation and if it's incomplete it representation and if it's incomplete it representation and if it's incomplete it might be missing crucial elements and so might be missing crucial elements and so might be missing crucial elements and so this person has basically developed the this person has basically developed the this person has basically developed the routine to go to events that they are routine to go to events that they are routine to go to events that they are confident that they can ascertain okay confident that they can ascertain okay confident that they can ascertain okay this is what this church is really about this is what this church is really about this is what this church is really about because the online presence has not

because the online presence has not because the online presence has not filled in the gaps of what a single filled in the gaps of what a single filled in the gaps of what a single Sunday morning is missing you can't put Sunday morning is missing you can't put Sunday morning is missing you can't put it on a single Sunday morning to it on a single Sunday morning to it on a single Sunday morning to perfectly represent what a church is all perfectly represent what a church is all perfectly represent what a church is all about you're not going to get like what about you're not going to get like what about you're not going to get like what are your core beliefs who are all the are your core beliefs who are all the are your core beliefs who are all the people that are pastors here what's people that are pastors here what's people that are pastors here what's every Ministry opportunity in this every Ministry opportunity in this every Ministry opportunity in this church what do you have outside of a church what do you have outside of a church what do you have outside of a Sunday service like that's not all Sunday service like that's not all Sunday service like that's not all happening in a single Sunday service if happening in a single Sunday service if happening in a single Sunday service if it is you've got a bigger problem it is you've got a bigger problem it is you've got a bigger problem because your announcements are minutes because your announcements are minutes because your announcements are minutes long and that would be it 11 on here and long and that would be it 11 on here and long and that would be it 11 on here and so the online presence of the church is so the online presence of the church is so the online presence of the church is meant to fill in those gaps if I visit a meant to fill in those gaps if I visit a meant to fill in those gaps if I visit a church for the first time and my church for the first time and my church for the first time and my questions on beliefs Staffing Ministry questions on beliefs Staffing Ministry questions on beliefs Staffing Ministry opportunities if that's all answered opportunities if that's all answered opportunities if that's all answered then I don't have to evaluate that or then I don't have to evaluate that or then I don't have to evaluate that or look for the missing pieces and I can look for the missing pieces and I can look for the missing pieces and I can just enjoy and experience a Sunday just enjoy and experience a Sunday just enjoy and experience a Sunday morning because those gaps have already morning because those gaps have already morning because those gaps have already been filled in exactly moving on the been filled in exactly moving on the been filled in exactly moving on the next one this one's tough this one is next one this one's tough this one is next one this one's tough this one is just when churches are unfriendly at just when churches are unfriendly at just when churches are unfriendly at Lonnie s655 says I feel you churches are Lonnie s655 says I feel you churches are Lonnie s655 says I feel you churches are some of the most unfriendly places ever some of the most unfriendly places ever some of the most unfriendly places ever it's sad I think you'll find doing stuff it's sad I think you'll find doing stuff it's sad I think you'll find doing stuff at home is better churches can be very at home is better churches can be very at home is better churches can be very clicky we know this and churches clicky we know this and churches clicky we know this and churches especially smaller churches function a especially smaller churches function a especially smaller churches function a lot of times like family and when you've lot of times like family and when you've lot of times like family and when you've known the same people for a long time known the same people for a long time known the same people for a long time and you see them every single week and and you see them every single week and and you see them every single week and you sit in the same spot and you feel a you sit in the same spot and you feel a you sit in the same spot and you feel a lot of ownership in the ministry and lot of ownership in the ministry and lot of ownership in the ministry and then somebody comes in just like human then somebody comes in just like human then somebody comes in just like human nature is like you might be a bit nature is like you might be a bit nature is like you might be a bit standoffish you might not mean to but standoffish you might not mean to but standoffish you might not mean to but you shoot them a dirty look that they you shoot them a dirty look that they you shoot them a dirty look that they interpret as I'm not welcome here they interpret as I'm not welcome here they interpret as I'm not welcome here they sit in a seat that belongs to somebody sit in a seat that belongs to somebody sit in a seat that belongs to somebody else and then a violent occurrence takes

else and then a violent occurrence takes else and then a violent occurrence takes place and so uh leadership can do a lot place and so uh leadership can do a lot place and so uh leadership can do a lot here I think leadership might feel like here I think leadership might feel like here I think leadership might feel like H how am I supposed to control someone H how am I supposed to control someone H how am I supposed to control someone shooting a dirty look at a new visitor shooting a dirty look at a new visitor shooting a dirty look at a new visitor the language that you use becomes the the language that you use becomes the the language that you use becomes the culture that you buil and so even Pastor culture that you buil and so even Pastor culture that you buil and so even Pastor Alex earlier describing how he would Alex earlier describing how he would Alex earlier describing how he would talk about scripture hey we're going to talk about scripture hey we're going to talk about scripture hey we're going to turn to this in our bibles if you don't turn to this in our bibles if you don't turn to this in our bibles if you don't have a Bible this and this it's up on have a Bible this and this it's up on have a Bible this and this it's up on the screen or just listen and let it the screen or just listen and let it the screen or just listen and let it wash over you that's language that he's wash over you that's language that he's wash over you that's language that he's using to set the understanding with the using to set the understanding with the using to set the understanding with the existing congregation there might be new existing congregation there might be new existing congregation there might be new people here and we want to make them people here and we want to make them people here and we want to make them feel welcome if that language comes from feel welcome if that language comes from feel welcome if that language comes from the pulpit from the top down repeatedly the pulpit from the top down repeatedly the pulpit from the top down repeatedly the language you use becomes the culture the language you use becomes the culture the language you use becomes the culture that you built if you're never using that you built if you're never using that you built if you're never using that language you might think like I I that language you might think like I I that language you might think like I I don't want to use that language cuz like don't want to use that language cuz like don't want to use that language cuz like no one knew ever comes here when someone no one knew ever comes here when someone no one knew ever comes here when someone does they become one of the people in does they become one of the people in does they become one of the people in this YouTube comment section because the this YouTube comment section because the this YouTube comment section because the newcomer was scared off because this newcomer was scared off because this newcomer was scared off because this church had never built the Habit exactly church had never built the Habit exactly church had never built the Habit exactly they had never kind of built the well they had never kind of built the well they had never kind of built the well before they needed the waterly you've before they needed the waterly you've before they needed the waterly you've said it so well a church of your size said it so well a church of your size said it so well a church of your size Central uh the the largest church in the Central uh the the largest church in the Central uh the the largest church in the nagar region um has built this into and nagar region um has built this into and nagar region um has built this into and most large churches build this into most large churches build this into most large churches build this into their their shared language because On their their shared language because On their their shared language because On Any Given Sunday there's likely new Any Given Sunday there's likely new Any Given Sunday there's likely new people there so you know that we have to people there so you know that we have to people there so you know that we have to address them but a church like mine address them but a church like mine address them but a church like mine which is the average Church size in which is the average Church size in which is the average Church size in America so we're speaking to a large America so we're speaking to a large America so we're speaking to a large part of our listenership right now you part of our listenership right now you part of our listenership right now you said it not every week is there someone said it not every week is there someone said it not every week is there someone new and so sometimes you get up there new and so sometimes you get up there new and so sometimes you get up there and you and you think like oh I know

and you and you think like oh I know and you and you think like oh I know everyone in the room so I don't need to everyone in the room so I don't need to everyone in the room so I don't need to say this um there's there's no there's say this um there's there's no there's say this um there's there's no there's no um risk or there's no detriment to no um risk or there's no detriment to no um risk or there's no detriment to saying it anyways and so we've built saying it anyways and so we've built saying it anyways and so we've built this into um whenever a Speaker gets up this into um whenever a Speaker gets up this into um whenever a Speaker gets up they introduce themselves at our church they introduce themselves at our church they introduce themselves at our church hey if you don't know me my name is hey if you don't know me my name is hey if you don't know me my name is Alexander I'm one of the pastors here we Alexander I'm one of the pastors here we Alexander I'm one of the pastors here we say the thing with the scriptures and at say the thing with the scriptures and at say the thing with the scriptures and at the end of every service we come to the the end of every service we come to the the end of every service we come to the table and we say the same script we table and we say the same script we table and we say the same script we invite people to the table the same way invite people to the table the same way invite people to the table the same way every week as if there's new people in every week as if there's new people in every week as if there's new people in the room because coming to the table um the room because coming to the table um the room because coming to the table um in different denominations has has in different denominations has has in different denominations has has different meaning even different rules different meaning even different rules different meaning even different rules and so we make sure to say those every and so we make sure to say those every and so we make sure to say those every Sunday so that like you said when we do Sunday so that like you said when we do Sunday so that like you said when we do have a new visitor there's no risk of have a new visitor there's no risk of have a new visitor there's no risk of forgetting to say that because we're forgetting to say that because we're forgetting to say that because we're saying it every week I want to read a saying it every week I want to read a saying it every week I want to read a slack message that I got from an slack message that I got from an slack message that I got from an employee this past week now it's become employee this past week now it's become employee this past week now it's become a running joke in the slack that I will a running joke in the slack that I will a running joke in the slack that I will read uh slacks uh from employees on air read uh slacks uh from employees on air read uh slacks uh from employees on air yes and make it Anonymous but then yes and make it Anonymous but then yes and make it Anonymous but then slander them they of course listen to slander them they of course listen to slander them they of course listen to the show and realize it's about them the show and realize it's about them the show and realize it's about them some of them do some of them do not and some of them do some of them do not and some of them do some of them do not and then they tell on me to the ones that do then they tell on me to the ones that do then they tell on me to the ones that do not so he said oh you've already given not so he said oh you've already given not so he said oh you've already given away his gender away his gender away his gender okay okay not important so if busy feel okay okay not important so if busy feel okay okay not important so if busy feel free to disregard this but I'm curious free to disregard this but I'm curious free to disregard this but I'm curious as a church comm's expert and one with as a church comm's expert and one with as a church comm's expert and one with your pulse on these Trends in your pulse on these Trends in your pulse on these Trends in communication how do you feel about the communication how do you feel about the communication how do you feel about the trend of introducing oneself as one of trend of introducing oneself as one of trend of introducing oneself as one of the pastors here oh interesting because the pastors here oh interesting because the pastors here oh interesting because you just said that that's how you you just said that that's how you you just said that that's how you introduce yourself I've personally found introduce yourself I've personally found introduce yourself I've personally found it a bit corny oh and confusing for it a bit corny oh and confusing for it a bit corny oh and confusing for pragmatic reasons when I was in a season

pragmatic reasons when I was in a season pragmatic reasons when I was in a season of searching for a new church it made it of searching for a new church it made it of searching for a new church it made it confusing to know which Pastor to ask confusing to know which Pastor to ask confusing to know which Pastor to ask about what when the youth pastor calls about what when the youth pastor calls about what when the youth pastor calls himself one of the pastors here or the himself one of the pastors here or the himself one of the pastors here or the senior pastor does the same I just have senior pastor does the same I just have senior pastor does the same I just have to take a wild guess on who to track to take a wild guess on who to track to take a wild guess on who to track down after service to ask about the down after service to ask about the down after service to ask about the church's youth group or things relating church's youth group or things relating church's youth group or things relating to the main service for example see good to the main service for example see good to the main service for example see good feedback listen oh this is perfect this feedback listen oh this is perfect this feedback listen oh this is perfect this is feedback you're from someone who has is feedback you're from someone who has is feedback you're from someone who has gone Church shopping recently and I have gone Church shopping recently and I have gone Church shopping recently and I have not in fact I've never gone Church not in fact I've never gone Church not in fact I've never gone Church shopping not one time in my life uh so shopping not one time in my life uh so shopping not one time in my life uh so that's valuable feedback I'm not sure that's valuable feedback I'm not sure that's valuable feedback I'm not sure I'm going to I'm going to change what I I'm going to I'm going to change what I I'm going to I'm going to change what I say but at least I get to think about say but at least I get to think about say but at least I get to think about well I told him I was like you are well I told him I was like you are well I told him I was like you are articulating some cons to that language articulating some cons to that language articulating some cons to that language that I think has Merit but the that I think has Merit but the that I think has Merit but the trade-offs are this this and this and I trade-offs are this this and this and I trade-offs are this this and this and I was like I think it's more casual I was like I think it's more casual I was like I think it's more casual I think it doesn't um put the senior think it doesn't um put the senior think it doesn't um put the senior pastor as like I'm above everyone else pastor as like I'm above everyone else pastor as like I'm above everyone else and I think it really um lends itself and I think it really um lends itself and I think it really um lends itself well to to like hey we are all followers well to to like hey we are all followers well to to like hey we are all followers of Jesus here and this is not like I'm of Jesus here and this is not like I'm of Jesus here and this is not like I'm in charge and you all follow what I say in charge and you all follow what I say in charge and you all follow what I say and I think that that's worth the and I think that that's worth the and I think that that's worth the tradeoffs but I think that's also tradeoffs but I think that's also tradeoffs but I think that's also illustrative of we're not here trying to illustrative of we're not here trying to illustrative of we're not here trying to install all of these items as like your install all of these items as like your install all of these items as like your church must do this we're reading these church must do this we're reading these church must do this we're reading these comments from real people to basically comments from real people to basically comments from real people to basically just say demonstrate this is how people just say demonstrate this is how people just say demonstrate this is how people sometimes feel when this happens you sometimes feel when this happens you sometimes feel when this happens you might still choose to do this thing so might still choose to do this thing so might still choose to do this thing so for example hey Church uses ggon Church for example hey Church uses ggon Church for example hey Church uses ggon Church uses these Traditions that are like uses these Traditions that are like uses these Traditions that are like really churchy that can make people feel really churchy that can make people feel really churchy that can make people feel like Outsiders we're not saying rush to like Outsiders we're not saying rush to like Outsiders we're not saying rush to stop doing those but provide a way for stop doing those but provide a way for stop doing those but provide a way for people that are not familiar with that people that are not familiar with that people that are not familiar with that for it to be accessible to them you for it to be accessible to them you for it to be accessible to them you might also hear this and be like that might also hear this and be like that might also hear this and be like that one's not for me and that's okay

one's not for me and that's okay one's not for me and that's okay remember what we said at the beginning remember what we said at the beginning remember what we said at the beginning yes try to pick one thing see if you can yes try to pick one thing see if you can yes try to pick one thing see if you can pick this next one a lack of structure pick this next one a lack of structure pick this next one a lack of structure at Bobby Johnson 5637 says for me with at Bobby Johnson 5637 says for me with at Bobby Johnson 5637 says for me with bad nerves and anxiety being in a church bad nerves and anxiety being in a church bad nerves and anxiety being in a church where they're just screaming and where they're just screaming and where they're just screaming and shouting and hollering makes me super shouting and hollering makes me super shouting and hollering makes me super uncomfortable yeah uh I have been in uncomfortable yeah uh I have been in uncomfortable yeah uh I have been in some charismatic Services where I have some charismatic Services where I have some charismatic Services where I have had to debrief with the pastor that took had to debrief with the pastor that took had to debrief with the pastor that took me afterwards because I was like I did me afterwards because I was like I did me afterwards because I was like I did not care for that personally and this not care for that personally and this not care for that personally and this might just come down to personality but might just come down to personality but might just come down to personality but you know back in the day when you'd have you know back in the day when you'd have you know back in the day when you'd have a bulletin and it would say like here's a bulletin and it would say like here's a bulletin and it would say like here's like what we're doing order of service like what we're doing order of service like what we're doing order of service yes and you can kind of like follow yes and you can kind of like follow yes and you can kind of like follow along and like okay here's where we are along and like okay here's where we are along and like okay here's where we are this is what we're doing and here's this is what we're doing and here's this is what we're doing and here's what's coming next absolutely necessary what's coming next absolutely necessary what's coming next absolutely necessary to funeral do we need to bring it back to funeral do we need to bring it back to funeral do we need to bring it back on a Sunday morning I'm open to it youve on a Sunday morning I'm open to it youve on a Sunday morning I'm open to it youve got the Planning Center rundown just got the Planning Center rundown just got the Planning Center rundown just share with the public yeah just just on share with the public yeah just just on share with the public yeah just just on the screen this is our order of service the screen this is our order of service the screen this is our order of service yeah at 10:37 Pastor John walks on yeah at 10:37 Pastor John walks on yeah at 10:37 Pastor John walks on screen like oh Pastor John haulers for screen like oh Pastor John haulers for screen like oh Pastor John haulers for 47 minutes 10:38 Pastor John's late 47 minutes 10:38 Pastor John's late 47 minutes 10:38 Pastor John's late there we go do you have any thoughts on there we go do you have any thoughts on there we go do you have any thoughts on this and uh is it just personality is this and uh is it just personality is this and uh is it just personality is that does a church have some that does a church have some that does a church have some responsibility for like if you're trying responsibility for like if you're trying responsibility for like if you're trying to engage with new people and Sunday to engage with new people and Sunday to engage with new people and Sunday morning is complete chaos I mean also morning is complete chaos I mean also morning is complete chaos I mean also like I'm I'm a white and certainly my like I'm I'm a white and certainly my like I'm I'm a white and certainly my tradition with church is a lot more tradition with church is a lot more tradition with church is a lot more structured than perhaps black church and structured than perhaps black church and structured than perhaps black church and that's like differences in culture not that's like differences in culture not that's like differences in culture not even personality yes even personality yes even personality yes so I have the same relationship that so I have the same relationship that so I have the same relationship that anyone RH has with printed materials anyone RH has with printed materials anyone RH has with printed materials which is like we got away from them do which is like we got away from them do which is like we got away from them do we really need to bring them back that we really need to bring them back that we really need to bring them back that being said and I made the joke earlier being said and I made the joke earlier being said and I made the joke earlier at a funeral it's very handy to know

at a funeral it's very handy to know at a funeral it's very handy to know what's coming up next how many songs are what's coming up next how many songs are what's coming up next how many songs are we singing how many people are speaking we singing how many people are speaking we singing how many people are speaking how long are we going to be in at this how long are we going to be in at this how long are we going to be in at this thing doing this good for a funeral why thing doing this good for a funeral why thing doing this good for a funeral why not so and then you've got like Mainline not so and then you've got like Mainline not so and then you've got like Mainline churches that that that do this right churches that that that do this right churches that that that do this right like they have order of services and so like they have order of services and so like they have order of services and so you do if you are a visitor and this for you do if you are a visitor and this for you do if you are a visitor and this for visitors like you're in a new space you visitors like you're in a new space you visitors like you're in a new space you maybe you have kids like you need to maybe you have kids like you need to maybe you have kids like you need to know the timing like what how long are know the timing like what how long are know the timing like what how long are we in for this for like the order of we in for this for like the order of we in for this for like the order of service is important and so if you're service is important and so if you're service is important and so if you're not going to do printed materials maybe not going to do printed materials maybe not going to do printed materials maybe it's just as simple as doing vocal like it's just as simple as doing vocal like it's just as simple as doing vocal like verbal transitions at the beginning or verbal transitions at the beginning or verbal transitions at the beginning or end of every part of the service so uh end of every part of the service so uh end of every part of the service so uh welcoming folks like saying hey for the welcoming folks like saying hey for the welcoming folks like saying hey for the next set the expectation welcome to next set the expectation welcome to next set the expectation welcome to church for the next 20 minutes or so church for the next 20 minutes or so church for the next 20 minutes or so we're going to be we're going to be we're going to be we're going to be we're going to be we're going to be singing some songs feel free to to stand singing some songs feel free to to stand singing some songs feel free to to stand if you're able after after the singing if you're able after after the singing if you're able after after the singing say hey for the next few moments we're say hey for the next few moments we're say hey for the next few moments we're going to exchange Grace and peace greet going to exchange Grace and peace greet going to exchange Grace and peace greet the person next to you and the kids are the person next to you and the kids are the person next to you and the kids are going to go out after that and then when going to go out after that and then when going to go out after that and then when the pastor comes up hey welcome to the pastor comes up hey welcome to the pastor comes up hey welcome to church I'm Alexander one of the pastors church I'm Alexander one of the pastors church I'm Alexander one of the pastors here uh we're we're going to like here uh we're we're going to like here uh we're we're going to like wrestle with the scriptures for about 20 wrestle with the scriptures for about 20 wrestle with the scriptures for about 20 minutes or so before we move on to minutes or so before we move on to minutes or so before we move on to meeting at the community table so you meeting at the community table so you meeting at the community table so you could do verbal or vocal transitions could do verbal or vocal transitions could do verbal or vocal transitions maybe as a middle ground there yeah I I maybe as a middle ground there yeah I I maybe as a middle ground there yeah I I I I think that's great I think you're I I think that's great I think you're I I think that's great I think you're listening to all this feedback and again listening to all this feedback and again listening to all this feedback and again you're like okay so like I can't do this you're like okay so like I can't do this you're like okay so like I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this because I can't do this I can't do this because I can't do this I can't do this because people feel anxious about this and they people feel anxious about this and they people feel anxious about this and they feel like uncomfortable about this and feel like uncomfortable about this and feel like uncomfortable about this and so so this isn't about saying their so so this isn't about saying their so so this isn't about saying their perspective is right and we have to do perspective is right and we have to do perspective is right and we have to do everything like that but more to provide everything like that but more to provide everything like that but more to provide understanding of how some things make understanding of how some things make understanding of how some things make some people feel and then for us to make

some people feel and then for us to make some people feel and then for us to make the calls As Leaders that's what leaders the calls As Leaders that's what leaders the calls As Leaders that's what leaders do you know the decisions are not always do you know the decisions are not always do you know the decisions are not always easy okay we're going to do this and we easy okay we're going to do this and we easy okay we're going to do this and we know that the trade-off might be this so know that the trade-off might be this so know that the trade-off might be this so we're going to try to offset that as we're going to try to offset that as we're going to try to offset that as much as possible by doing this exactly much as possible by doing this exactly much as possible by doing this exactly moving on too much recruitment in the moving on too much recruitment in the moving on too much recruitment in the service at Cal says many visitors service at Cal says many visitors service at Cal says many visitors probably never go back instead of probably never go back instead of probably never go back instead of building faith ministers want to discuss building faith ministers want to discuss building faith ministers want to discuss fundraising projects and wish to recruit fundraising projects and wish to recruit fundraising projects and wish to recruit many volunteers yeah that would be tough many volunteers yeah that would be tough many volunteers yeah that would be tough if you go for the first time and you if you go for the first time and you if you go for the first time and you hear say hey we please give yeah please hear say hey we please give yeah please hear say hey we please give yeah please sign up and volunteer also we have a sign up and volunteer also we have a sign up and volunteer also we have a building project like man like do I building project like man like do I building project like man like do I really want to be a part of this like really want to be a part of this like really want to be a part of this like they're going to I think this really they're going to I think this really they're going to I think this really could scare off newcomers of all the could scare off newcomers of all the could scare off newcomers of all the items on this list I feel like this one items on this list I feel like this one items on this list I feel like this one could scare off newcomers the most could scare off newcomers the most could scare off newcomers the most because you could be a church that's a because you could be a church that's a because you could be a church that's a good fit for them and they might just good fit for them and they might just good fit for them and they might just hear so much promotion and recruitment hear so much promotion and recruitment hear so much promotion and recruitment that they're like I don't want to be a that they're like I don't want to be a that they're like I don't want to be a part of a church where like I'm being part of a church where like I'm being part of a church where like I'm being bled dry in that sense I want to serve I bled dry in that sense I want to serve I bled dry in that sense I want to serve I want to be a part of it but like there want to be a part of it but like there want to be a part of it but like there needs to be some balance and needs to be some balance and needs to be some balance and unfortunately you could stuff too much unfortunately you could stuff too much unfortunately you could stuff too much into a single Sunday morning and that into a single Sunday morning and that into a single Sunday morning and that could have negative effects and I think could have negative effects and I think could have negative effects and I think the solution here is really simple it's the solution here is really simple it's the solution here is really simple it's just like hey be mindful of how many just like hey be mindful of how many just like hey be mindful of how many asks that you're giving in a service and asks that you're giving in a service and asks that you're giving in a service and if you know okay we were already talking if you know okay we were already talking if you know okay we were already talking about this and we're talking about this about this and we're talking about this about this and we're talking about this maybe we'll save this for next week yeah maybe we'll save this for next week yeah maybe we'll save this for next week yeah totally it just takes a little bit of totally it just takes a little bit of totally it just takes a little bit of foresight maybe a month at a time maybe foresight maybe a month at a time maybe foresight maybe a month at a time maybe four weeks at a time just saying like four weeks at a time just saying like four weeks at a time just saying like Okay we need we need to announce these Okay we need we need to announce these Okay we need we need to announce these things we do have a building project things we do have a building project things we do have a building project coming up we do need volunteers in kids coming up we do need volunteers in kids coming up we do need volunteers in kids church like these things are real but um church like these things are real but um church like these things are real but um kind of just placing them appropriately kind of just placing them appropriately kind of just placing them appropriately spreading out the wealth across those spreading out the wealth across those spreading out the wealth across those four weeks so that you're not announcing

four weeks so that you're not announcing four weeks so that you're not announcing all of them on one Sunday but maybe one all of them on one Sunday but maybe one all of them on one Sunday but maybe one or two each Sunday over the course of a or two each Sunday over the course of a or two each Sunday over the course of a month next one inaccessible Bible month next one inaccessible Bible month next one inaccessible Bible teaching user at mu rider for Life says teaching user at mu rider for Life says teaching user at mu rider for Life says I think there may be a trend with making I think there may be a trend with making I think there may be a trend with making the services a bit more basic and easier the services a bit more basic and easier the services a bit more basic and easier to understand grasping General ideas to understand grasping General ideas to understand grasping General ideas than the meat and potatoes will will be than the meat and potatoes will will be than the meat and potatoes will will be form yourself reading and studying along form yourself reading and studying along form yourself reading and studying along with your discipleship classes so this with your discipleship classes so this with your discipleship classes so this kind of goes along with the traditions kind of goes along with the traditions kind of goes along with the traditions and jargon you know how deep are you and jargon you know how deep are you and jargon you know how deep are you going to get into Exposition in the going to get into Exposition in the going to get into Exposition in the Bible yeah and again if you choose to Bible yeah and again if you choose to Bible yeah and again if you choose to get deep how do you make that level of get deep how do you make that level of get deep how do you make that level of depth accessible to folks um you don't depth accessible to folks um you don't depth accessible to folks um you don't want to go so deep that you're like hey want to go so deep that you're like hey want to go so deep that you're like hey if you're not coming in with this much if you're not coming in with this much if you're not coming in with this much prerequisite knowledge you will prerequisite knowledge you will prerequisite knowledge you will completely lost um on the other side of completely lost um on the other side of completely lost um on the other side of things you don't want to stay so shallow things you don't want to stay so shallow things you don't want to stay so shallow that you don't invite people into some that you don't invite people into some that you don't invite people into some of the deeper wisdom of scripture that of the deeper wisdom of scripture that of the deeper wisdom of scripture that is often some of the most substantive is often some of the most substantive is often some of the most substantive some of the most challenging but it's in some of the most challenging but it's in some of the most challenging but it's in that challenge that you're like ah this that challenge that you're like ah this that challenge that you're like ah this is where it talks about following Jesus is where it talks about following Jesus is where it talks about following Jesus is tough like this is like the stuff is tough like this is like the stuff is tough like this is like the stuff that I really have to wrestle with and that I really have to wrestle with and that I really have to wrestle with and so again I think the best example of so again I think the best example of so again I think the best example of this is in the same way we make our this is in the same way we make our this is in the same way we make our physical spaces accessible right you got physical spaces accessible right you got physical spaces accessible right you got the steps and then you've got the ramp the steps and then you've got the ramp the steps and then you've got the ramp and so it's like are we getting rid of and so it's like are we getting rid of and so it's like are we getting rid of the steps no we're not getting rid of the steps no we're not getting rid of the steps no we're not getting rid of the steps they're still what 98% of the steps they're still what 98% of the steps they're still what 98% of people use but we're also going to have people use but we're also going to have people use but we're also going to have a ramp and yes that is going to require a ramp and yes that is going to require a ramp and yes that is going to require a little bit extra on top of the steps a little bit extra on top of the steps a little bit extra on top of the steps but it makes so that this space is but it makes so that this space is but it makes so that this space is accessible for all people you don't have accessible for all people you don't have accessible for all people you don't have to quit what you're doing just what can to quit what you're doing just what can to quit what you're doing just what can we do to make it uh accessible for the we do to make it uh accessible for the we do to make it uh accessible for the others yeah and for like the expository others yeah and for like the expository others yeah and for like the expository Bible teachers that are listening I

Bible teachers that are listening I Bible teachers that are listening I don't think that this feedback don't think that this feedback don't think that this feedback necessitates you changing the the your necessitates you changing the the your necessitates you changing the the your teaching method because that's valuable teaching method because that's valuable teaching method because that's valuable I think and we've touched on it already I think and we've touched on it already I think and we've touched on it already I think maybe just adding a little bit I think maybe just adding a little bit I think maybe just adding a little bit of um uh a a little bit more language to of um uh a a little bit more language to of um uh a a little bit more language to Define maybe some academic terms as you Define maybe some academic terms as you Define maybe some academic terms as you continue to teach the the way you do continue to teach the the way you do continue to teach the the way you do just adding like hey if you've never just adding like hey if you've never just adding like hey if you've never heard this word before this is what this heard this word before this is what this heard this word before this is what this means and sprinkling that in as you go means and sprinkling that in as you go means and sprinkling that in as you go might be enough to get people on board might be enough to get people on board might be enough to get people on board who who aren't as academic or maybe who who aren't as academic or maybe who who aren't as academic or maybe don't don't listen to that type of don't don't listen to that type of don't don't listen to that type of teaching um usually but you could teaching um usually but you could teaching um usually but you could certainly I think you painted a good certainly I think you painted a good certainly I think you painted a good picture you could certainly make build a picture you could certainly make build a picture you could certainly make build a pereral or metaphorical ramp uh just by pereral or metaphorical ramp uh just by pereral or metaphorical ramp uh just by building a couple Bridges with some building a couple Bridges with some building a couple Bridges with some words what about this one Bren nowhere words what about this one Bren nowhere words what about this one Bren nowhere to sit so th this person had a lot of to sit so th this person had a lot of to sit so th this person had a lot of items in their com did at Eric Gideon items in their com did at Eric Gideon items in their com did at Eric Gideon 9237 I mean you can read them all if you 9237 I mean you can read them all if you 9237 I mean you can read them all if you want but I specifically put this in here want but I specifically put this in here want but I specifically put this in here for number four nowhere to sit yeah he for number four nowhere to sit yeah he for number four nowhere to sit yeah he wow Eric had a lot to say dirty looks no wow Eric had a lot to say dirty looks no wow Eric had a lot to say dirty looks no one to greet intimidation nowhere to sit one to greet intimidation nowhere to sit one to greet intimidation nowhere to sit no new programs very unwelcoming no new programs very unwelcoming no new programs very unwelcoming attitude towards singles interesting and attitude towards singles interesting and attitude towards singles interesting and number seven threats so I don't know number seven threats so I don't know number seven threats so I don't know what that one's about but let's tackle what that one's about but let's tackle what that one's about but let's tackle nowhere to so I was at church on Sunday nowhere to so I was at church on Sunday nowhere to so I was at church on Sunday and I arrive on time because I'm a very and I arrive on time because I'm a very and I arrive on time because I'm a very timely person and I found my seat and I timely person and I found my seat and I timely person and I found my seat and I was seated there and then I was and I was seated there and then I was and I was seated there and then I was and I was like oh it's pretty empty today it's was like oh it's pretty empty today it's was like oh it's pretty empty today it's summertime that that's how it happens summertime that that's how it happens summertime that that's how it happens and then very quickly into the service I and then very quickly into the service I and then very quickly into the service I was like wow it really filled in quick was like wow it really filled in quick was like wow it really filled in quick and people were walking around and they and people were walking around and they and people were walking around and they didn't know where to sit and our church

didn't know where to sit and our church didn't know where to sit and our church has this great thing where people will has this great thing where people will has this great thing where people will stand there volunteers watching to see stand there volunteers watching to see stand there volunteers watching to see if anyone looks like and they will find if anyone looks like and they will find if anyone looks like and they will find a seat for them because they recognize a seat for them because they recognize a seat for them because they recognize that it's really uncomfortable when that it's really uncomfortable when that it's really uncomfortable when everyone has a seat and you're standing everyone has a seat and you're standing everyone has a seat and you're standing there like and then you have to walk and there like and then you have to walk and there like and then you have to walk and you kind of got peek your head around you kind of got peek your head around you kind of got peek your head around the corner and see oh is there a seat the corner and see oh is there a seat the corner and see oh is there a seat there and you maybe hey can you move in there and you maybe hey can you move in there and you maybe hey can you move in one so I can sit there and so we have one so I can sit there and so we have one so I can sit there and so we have ushers that are situated just to do that ushers that are situated just to do that ushers that are situated just to do that um and you can do this not just for um and you can do this not just for um and you can do this not just for seating but parking as well uh a lot of seating but parking as well uh a lot of seating but parking as well uh a lot of churches um that have limited parking churches um that have limited parking churches um that have limited parking will do a thing where it's like you know will do a thing where it's like you know will do a thing where it's like you know flash your lights if you're new and flash your lights if you're new and flash your lights if you're new and they'll lead you to a VIP spot because they'll lead you to a VIP spot because they'll lead you to a VIP spot because that's another thing that can make that's another thing that can make that's another thing that can make things difficult if you've been to a things difficult if you've been to a things difficult if you've been to a place before you know like the parking place before you know like the parking place before you know like the parking situation let me tell you we go to a lot situation let me tell you we go to a lot situation let me tell you we go to a lot of uh lot of events downtown Toronto and of uh lot of events downtown Toronto and of uh lot of events downtown Toronto and I have been doing this for my whole life I have been doing this for my whole life I have been doing this for my whole life and I'm still trying to find like the and I'm still trying to find like the and I'm still trying to find like the perfect parking spot every time we find perfect parking spot every time we find perfect parking spot every time we find a good one it's like ah but the highway a good one it's like ah but the highway a good one it's like ah but the highway is too far away and it takes us an extra is too far away and it takes us an extra is too far away and it takes us an extra hour to get on the highway to leave this hour to get on the highway to leave this hour to get on the highway to leave this city so so congested after every single city so so congested after every single city so so congested after every single Friday night event when you have a good Friday night event when you have a good Friday night event when you have a good parking spot it makes things a lot more parking spot it makes things a lot more parking spot it makes things a lot more comfortable and at church surely you comfortable and at church surely you comfortable and at church surely you know the rhythms of traffic and you know know the rhythms of traffic and you know know the rhythms of traffic and you know oh I always Park here and that parking oh I always Park here and that parking oh I always Park here and that parking spot's always taken if you're new it spot's always taken if you're new it spot's always taken if you're new it might be not as enjoyable and so might be not as enjoyable and so might be not as enjoyable and so churches with limited parking have that churches with limited parking have that churches with limited parking have that same goes for seating it's just like same goes for seating it's just like same goes for seating it's just like getting people from One station to the getting people from One station to the getting people from One station to the next um if it's not easy it just makes next um if it's not easy it just makes next um if it's not easy it just makes the experience less good you've surely the experience less good you've surely the experience less good you've surely walked into a coffee shop before and walked into a coffee shop before and walked into a coffee shop before and like people are standing you're like are like people are standing you're like are like people are standing you're like are they waiting for their drinks or are they waiting for their drinks or are they waiting for their drinks or are they like in line for their drinks and

they like in line for their drinks and they like in line for their drinks and then you have to go up and you're like then you have to go up and you're like then you have to go up and you're like hi um do you know is this like this hi um do you know is this like this hi um do you know is this like this happened to us recently like a visually happened to us recently like a visually happened to us recently like a visually impaired person had to come up to us and impaired person had to come up to us and impaired person had to come up to us and you need station in Toronto and was like you need station in Toronto and was like you need station in Toronto and was like are you in line or not and we directed are you in line or not and we directed are you in line or not and we directed her to the line and she needed us her to the line and she needed us her to the line and she needed us because she was visually impaired but because she was visually impaired but because she was visually impaired but guess what we were there 5 minutes guess what we were there 5 minutes guess what we were there 5 minutes earlier and we were like made the same earlier and we were like made the same earlier and we were like made the same mistake I don't know where we're mistake I don't know where we're mistake I don't know where we're supposed to go and you know what I'm supposed to go and you know what I'm supposed to go and you know what I'm still thinking about that and you might still thinking about that and you might still thinking about that and you might say brady you're soft sure I am but like say brady you're soft sure I am but like say brady you're soft sure I am but like just a little signage just a little bit just a little signage just a little bit just a little signage just a little bit um here's a way that your church can um here's a way that your church can um here's a way that your church can really go above and beyond when it comes really go above and beyond when it comes really go above and beyond when it comes to seating um making sure that you have to seating um making sure that you have to seating um making sure that you have accessible seating so being mindful of accessible seating so being mindful of accessible seating so being mindful of like folks with wheelchairs and where like folks with wheelchairs and where like folks with wheelchairs and where can you remove if you have seats like can you remove if you have seats like can you remove if you have seats like ours where you can like detach and ours where you can like detach and ours where you can like detach and remove them can you remove one so that remove them can you remove one so that remove them can you remove one so that they can sit where a chair would be so they can sit where a chair would be so they can sit where a chair would be so that they don't have to sit in the aisle that they don't have to sit in the aisle that they don't have to sit in the aisle thinking about accessibility and then thinking about accessibility and then thinking about accessibility and then also thinking about family with young also thinking about family with young also thinking about family with young kids like if you have if you invite all kids like if you have if you invite all kids like if you have if you invite all the kids into your the worship Time of the kids into your the worship Time of the kids into your the worship Time of Your Service like you keep them in for Your Service like you keep them in for Your Service like you keep them in for singing make some space usually at the singing make some space usually at the singing make some space usually at the back where there is more space in back where there is more space in back where there is more space in between the the rows like at our church between the the rows like at our church between the the rows like at our church we've actually removed every other row we've actually removed every other row we've actually removed every other row at the back for an area for families at the back for an area for families at the back for an area for families with young kids and since we did that with young kids and since we did that with young kids and since we did that the feedback we've gotten has been so the feedback we've gotten has been so the feedback we've gotten has been so good which is like this is amazing our good which is like this is amazing our good which is like this is amazing our our kids can be kids on the ground we our kids can be kids on the ground we our kids can be kids on the ground we don't have to restrict them to this don't have to restrict them to this don't have to restrict them to this small space they can have space to color small space they can have space to color small space they can have space to color or play or read while we worship and we or play or read while we worship and we or play or read while we worship and we just feel so much more comfortable in just feel so much more comfortable in just feel so much more comfortable in this worship space um because you made this worship space um because you made this worship space um because you made the effort to make space for us um so the effort to make space for us um so the effort to make space for us um so take that and do with it which well and take that and do with it which well and take that and do with it which well and before we get to the final example that

before we get to the final example that before we get to the final example that that brings to mind something because that brings to mind something because that brings to mind something because people are going to listen and watch people are going to listen and watch people are going to listen and watch this and think to themselves like man this and think to themselves like man this and think to themselves like man you sure are going to a lot of lengths you sure are going to a lot of lengths you sure are going to a lot of lengths just to make people com just to make people com just to make people com the gopel is not comfortable is like not the gopel is not comfortable is like not the gopel is not comfortable is like not applicable in the sense if your church applicable in the sense if your church applicable in the sense if your church does anything for kids you are already does anything for kids you are already does anything for kids you are already going to Great Lengths to make Ministry going to Great Lengths to make Ministry going to Great Lengths to make Ministry accessible to people yeah you are doing accessible to people yeah you are doing accessible to people yeah you are doing it for people that have it for people that have it for people that have kids you have kids ministry so that kids you have kids ministry so that kids you have kids ministry so that people can like put their kids in kids people can like put their kids in kids people can like put their kids in kids ministry and then like go to Big Church ministry and then like go to Big Church ministry and then like go to Big Church themselves because many churches deem it themselves because many churches deem it themselves because many churches deem it very challenging to do church when the very challenging to do church when the very challenging to do church when the service is full of kids so you've service is full of kids so you've service is full of kids so you've already done this you already have a already done this you already have a already done this you already have a value for this and this is what is so value for this and this is what is so value for this and this is what is so strange I find when talking to churches strange I find when talking to churches strange I find when talking to churches about new things when they're like I can about new things when they're like I can about new things when they're like I can pinpoint you have a value already in pinpoint you have a value already in pinpoint you have a value already in church that's expressing this we're just church that's expressing this we're just church that's expressing this we're just saying that same value could be saying that same value could be saying that same value could be expressed elsewhere and they're deciding expressed elsewhere and they're deciding expressed elsewhere and they're deciding no here is where we draw the line and no here is where we draw the line and no here is where we draw the line and certainly we have to draw lines so long certainly we have to draw lines so long certainly we have to draw lines so long as we understand yes this has Merit but as we understand yes this has Merit but as we understand yes this has Merit but like we realize for this reason and this like we realize for this reason and this like we realize for this reason and this reason we can't do it if you're just reason we can't do it if you're just reason we can't do it if you're just like sloughing this off and being like like sloughing this off and being like like sloughing this off and being like soft well okay you probably have this soft well okay you probably have this soft well okay you probably have this value expressed in your church currently value expressed in your church currently value expressed in your church currently already so at the very least let's all already so at the very least let's all already so at the very least let's all call ourselves soft or talk about why call ourselves soft or talk about why call ourselves soft or talk about why we're going to express it in this one we're going to express it in this one we're going to express it in this one way yes for parents we are going to do way yes for parents we are going to do way yes for parents we are going to do this but for singles we're not and that this but for singles we're not and that this but for singles we're not and that leads us to number 10 yes uh Eric uh leads us to number 10 yes uh Eric uh leads us to number 10 yes uh Eric uh from the last one he mentioned it from the last one he mentioned it from the last one he mentioned it already but this user at atress um is already but this user at atress um is already but this user at atress um is just going to put the exclamation point just going to put the exclamation point just going to put the exclamation point on it this is singles feeling left out on it this is singles feeling left out on it this is singles feeling left out they say even though I've been going to they say even though I've been going to they say even though I've been going to my local church for three years I still

my local church for three years I still my local church for three years I still feel left I still feel out of place feel left I still feel out of place feel left I still feel out of place because I'm single with no kids I even because I'm single with no kids I even because I'm single with no kids I even stopped going to family events because I stopped going to family events because I stopped going to family events because I didn't want to be that guy at the table didn't want to be that guy at the table didn't want to be that guy at the table intruding on people's family time a intruding on people's family time a intruding on people's family time a 40-year-old man is nearly twice as 40-year-old man is nearly twice as 40-year-old man is nearly twice as likely to never be married in 20122 likely to never be married in 20122 likely to never be married in 20122 compared to 2008 it's Ryan bur graphs compared to 2008 it's Ryan bur graphs compared to 2008 it's Ryan bur graphs about religion wow twice as likely to about religion wow twice as likely to about religion wow twice as likely to never be married from that's a span of never be married from that's a span of never be married from that's a span of 14 years that's that feels crazy to me 14 years that's that feels crazy to me 14 years that's that feels crazy to me this is a new phenomenon it's not new to this is a new phenomenon it's not new to this is a new phenomenon it's not new to churches we've been collecting singles churches we've been collecting singles churches we've been collecting singles for a very long time but it used to be for a very long time but it used to be for a very long time but it used to be like well 80% of our ministry is like like well 80% of our ministry is like like well 80% of our ministry is like families and like we only have so many families and like we only have so many families and like we only have so many resources and I just want this to be resources and I just want this to be resources and I just want this to be very clear because it happen so quickly very clear because it happen so quickly very clear because it happen so quickly it's probably not something on a lot of it's probably not something on a lot of it's probably not something on a lot of our radar there are more older single our radar there are more older single our radar there are more older single people now dramatically than ever before people now dramatically than ever before people now dramatically than ever before and church is made historically for and church is made historically for and church is made historically for families and singles are probably families and singles are probably families and singles are probably feeling left out of church so how can we feeling left out of church so how can we feeling left out of church so how can we make Ministry accessible to them how can make Ministry accessible to them how can make Ministry accessible to them how can we make them feel at home in our we make them feel at home in our we make them feel at home in our Ministries because otherwise they're Ministries because otherwise they're Ministries because otherwise they're just not going to come because they're just not going to come because they're just not going to come because they're going to feel like they have no place going to feel like they have no place going to feel like they have no place and guess what there's a lot of them yes and guess what there's a lot of them yes and guess what there's a lot of them yes and it's the answer is not with a and it's the answer is not with a and it's the answer is not with a singles Ministry that is basically like singles Ministry that is basically like singles Ministry that is basically like speed dating like that's that's not the speed dating like that's that's not the speed dating like that's that's not the answer Love is Blind Church yeah that is answer Love is Blind Church yeah that is answer Love is Blind Church yeah that is not the answer into the Pod um and so not the answer into the Pod um and so not the answer into the Pod um and so this is something that I'm glad we're this is something that I'm glad we're this is something that I'm glad we're talking about on this show and a lot of talking about on this show and a lot of talking about on this show and a lot of folks have been talking about for the folks have been talking about for the folks have been talking about for the last decade or so like how do we engage

last decade or so like how do we engage last decade or so like how do we engage singleness in the church and acknowledge singleness in the church and acknowledge singleness in the church and acknowledge that it uh can be holy is no less holy that it uh can be holy is no less holy that it uh can be holy is no less holy than being married with kids and that than being married with kids and that than being married with kids and that you can embody like the um yeah the you can embody like the um yeah the you can embody like the um yeah the image of the story of God in a single image of the story of God in a single image of the story of God in a single lifestyle um and and how do we we don't lifestyle um and and how do we we don't lifestyle um and and how do we we don't really have answers to to this certainly really have answers to to this certainly really have answers to to this certainly not on on this episode of this show but not on on this episode of this show but not on on this episode of this show but the question remains like how do we the question remains like how do we the question remains like how do we invite singles into the fullness of life invite singles into the fullness of life invite singles into the fullness of life in our church without like this person in our church without like this person in our church without like this person said like feeling like they they are said like feeling like they they are said like feeling like they they are intruding on family business when it it intruding on family business when it it intruding on family business when it it just shouldn't be true at all 10 ways just shouldn't be true at all 10 ways just shouldn't be true at all 10 ways Church to scare off newcomers come on Church to scare off newcomers come on Church to scare off newcomers come on Pro church people let us know in the Pro church people let us know in the Pro church people let us know in the comments should Alex keep calling comments should Alex keep calling comments should Alex keep calling himself one of the pastors at this himself one of the pastors at this himself one of the pastors at this church thanks as always for your time church thanks as always for your time church thanks as always for your time attention and Trust we'll talk to you attention and Trust we'll talk to you attention and Trust we'll talk to you next next next Wednesday sorry your mom's texting me Wednesday sorry your mom's texting me Wednesday sorry your mom's texting me about swimming lessons that's right about swimming lessons that's right about swimming lessons that's right on on on well uh no I also wanted to look up one well uh no I also wanted to look up one well uh no I also wanted to look up one thing no see you mentioned you mentioned thing no see you mentioned you mentioned thing no see you mentioned you mentioned uh going to say the next one's lack of uh going to say the next one's lack of uh going to say the next one's lack of structure which is perfect for this time structure which is perfect for this time structure which is perfect for this time of the episode cuz it's falling apart of the episode cuz it's falling apart of the episode cuz it's falling apart that's cute that's cute that's cute how she text me she's like hey we you how she text me she's like hey we you how she text me she's like hey we you know it's been thundering I don't know know it's been thundering I don't know know it's been thundering I don't know if we can do swimming lessons I was like if we can do swimming lessons I was like if we can do swimming lessons I was like sounds good do you have Brit's number sounds good do you have Brit's number sounds good do you have Brit's number yes now I do sorry to bother you no yes now I do sorry to bother you no yes now I do sorry to bother you no worries I'll text her right now and say worries I'll text her right now and say worries I'll text her right now and say Mom we're recording with your son