Barry Manilow, the Spotlight Effect & Why Your People Are Closer to Inviting Than You Think

[music] [music] >> Okay, picture this. It's the year 2000 >> Okay, picture this. It's the year 2000 >> Okay, picture this. It's the year 2000 and you're at a psychology lab at and you're at a psychology lab at and you're at a psychology lab at Cornell University and you're about to Cornell University and you're about to Cornell University and you're about to ruin a college student's life. A ruin a college student's life. A ruin a college student's life. A researcher, you, hand that undergrad a researcher, you, hand that undergrad a researcher, you, hand that undergrad a t-shirt and asks them to put it on. The t-shirt and asks them to put it on. The t-shirt and asks them to put it on. The student unfolds it and what is staring student unfolds it and what is staring student unfolds it and what is staring back at them? Barry Manilow. Not vintage back at them? Barry Manilow. Not vintage back at them? Barry Manilow. Not vintage cool Barry Manilow, not ironic Barry cool Barry Manilow, not ironic Barry cool Barry Manilow, not ironic Barry Manilow, just Barry Manilow. The kind of Manilow, just Barry Manilow. The kind of Manilow, just Barry Manilow. The kind of shirt that would get you roasted by your shirt that would get you roasted by your shirt that would get you roasted by your roommate before you even made it out the roommate before you even made it out the roommate before you even made it out the door. The student puts it on anyways, door. The student puts it on anyways, door. The student puts it on anyways, well, this is science after all and is well, this is science after all and is well, this is science after all and is told to walk into a room where a group told to walk into a room where a group told to walk into a room where a group of peers are already seated. Before they of peers are already seated. Before they of peers are already seated. Before they open the door, the researcher asks a open the door, the researcher asks a open the door, the researcher asks a simple question. How many people in that simple question. How many people in that simple question. How many people in that room do you think will notice your room do you think will notice your room do you think will notice your t-shirt? This is a fascinating study. t-shirt? This is a fascinating study. t-shirt? This is a fascinating study. It's called the spotlight effect and It's called the spotlight effect and It's called the spotlight effect and it's a foundational psychological, it's a foundational psychological, it's a foundational psychological, sociological study. The student thinks sociological study. The student thinks sociological study. The student thinks about it, they walk into the room and it about it, they walk into the room and it about it, they walk into the room and it feels like they're wearing the feels like they're wearing the feels like they're wearing the equivalent of a kick me sign. They equivalent of a kick me sign. They equivalent of a kick me sign. They predict that about half of the room will predict that about half of the room will predict that about half of the room will notice. They walk in, they sit down, the notice. They walk in, they sit down, the notice. They walk in, they sit down, the entire they endure a few minutes of entire they endure a few minutes of entire they endure a few minutes of low-grade social anxiety, then the low-grade social anxiety, then the low-grade social anxiety, then the research pulls them out of the room and research pulls them out of the room and research pulls them out of the room and surveys the room. The actual number?

surveys the room. The actual number? surveys the room. The actual number? Roughly one in four. The student had Roughly one in four. The student had Roughly one in four. The student had overestimated by a factor of two. They overestimated by a factor of two. They overestimated by a factor of two. They thought twice as many people would thought twice as many people would thought twice as many people would recognize this terrible t-shirt than recognize this terrible t-shirt than recognize this terrible t-shirt than actually did. The really fascinating actually did. The really fascinating actually did. The really fascinating thing comes next. When the researcher thing comes next. When the researcher thing comes next. When the researcher replaced Barry Manilow with the t-shirt replaced Barry Manilow with the t-shirt replaced Barry Manilow with the t-shirt they wanted to wear, Bob Marley, Martin they wanted to wear, Bob Marley, Martin they wanted to wear, Bob Marley, Martin Luther King, the gap blew open wide. The Luther King, the gap blew open wide. The Luther King, the gap blew open wide. The students still predicted about half the students still predicted about half the students still predicted about half the room would notice, but the real number room would notice, but the real number room would notice, but the real number dropped to one in 10, a six-to-one dropped to one in 10, a six-to-one dropped to one in 10, a six-to-one overestimation when the message was overestimation when the message was overestimation when the message was positive rather than embarrassing, positive rather than embarrassing, positive rather than embarrassing, people paid less attention. people paid less attention. people paid less attention. Psychologists, they call this the Psychologists, they call this the Psychologists, they call this the spotlight effect. We anchor our own spotlight effect. We anchor our own spotlight effect. We anchor our own vivid internal experience and vivid internal experience and vivid internal experience and dramatically overestimate how much other dramatically overestimate how much other dramatically overestimate how much other people are paying attention to us. And people are paying attention to us. And people are paying attention to us. And that is true with your church and with that is true with your church and with that is true with your church and with my church when we attempt to communicate my church when we attempt to communicate my church when we attempt to communicate to them. When we talk about inviting to them. When we talk about inviting to them. When we talk about inviting someone to come to something at church.

someone to come to something at church. someone to come to something at church. You put out a newsletter. You mentioned You put out a newsletter. You mentioned You put out a newsletter. You mentioned it in the staff meeting for the last it in the staff meeting for the last it in the staff meeting for the last month, but it feels like you've been month, but it feels like you've been month, but it feels like you've been beating the drum constantly, but here's beating the drum constantly, but here's beating the drum constantly, but here's what the research suggests. Your church what the research suggests. Your church what the research suggests. Your church has barely registered a beat. And that's has barely registered a beat. And that's has barely registered a beat. And that's not that they don't care. It's not that not that they don't care. It's not that not that they don't care. It's not that they're not interested. It's because they're not interested. It's because they're not interested. It's because human beings simply don't absorb human beings simply don't absorb human beings simply don't absorb messages the way that communicators, the messages the way that communicators, the messages the way that communicators, the way you and I assume they do. The way you and I assume they do. The way you and I assume they do. The encouraging news is that the gap between encouraging news is that the gap between encouraging news is that the gap between where your church is right now and a where your church is right now and a where your church is right now and a genuine invite culture momentum may be genuine invite culture momentum may be genuine invite culture momentum may be smaller than it feels. Your people, smaller than it feels. Your people, smaller than it feels. Your people, listen, we know they love the church. listen, we know they love the church. listen, we know they love the church. That's why they come. That's why they're That's why they come. That's why they're That's why they come. That's why they're a part of your church. They're engaged. a part of your church. They're engaged. a part of your church. They're engaged. They're already in the room, but we need They're already in the room, but we need They're already in the room, but we need to be far more persistent in our to be far more persistent in our to be far more persistent in our encouragement, our training, and encouragement, our training, and encouragement, our training, and equipping around inviting people. And in equipping around inviting people. And in equipping around inviting people. And in fact, it's by a factor of maybe as much fact, it's by a factor of maybe as much fact, it's by a factor of maybe as much as 10 to one. The difference between as 10 to one. The difference between as 10 to one. The difference between stuck and stagnant and growing churches stuck and stagnant and growing churches stuck and stagnant and growing churches is this. Growing churches persistently is this. Growing churches persistently is this. Growing churches persistently train, equip, and motivate their people train, equip, and motivate their people train, equip, and motivate their people to invite their friends. They do don't to invite their friends. They do don't to invite their friends. They do don't do it once a quarter. They don't do it do it once a quarter. They don't do it do it once a quarter. They don't do it just at Christmas and Easter and maybe just at Christmas and Easter and maybe just at Christmas and Easter and maybe Mother's Day. They do it all year long.

Mother's Day. They do it all year long. Mother's Day. They do it all year long. There's a lesser-known study from There's a lesser-known study from There's a lesser-known study from Stanford that might be the single most Stanford that might be the single most Stanford that might be the single most uncomfortable data point for anyone who uncomfortable data point for anyone who uncomfortable data point for anyone who communicates for a living, you and me. communicates for a living, you and me. communicates for a living, you and me. Researcher Elizabeth Newton asked people Researcher Elizabeth Newton asked people Researcher Elizabeth Newton asked people to tap out the rhythm of a well-known to tap out the rhythm of a well-known to tap out the rhythm of a well-known songs on the table while the listener songs on the table while the listener songs on the table while the listener tried to identify what is true. Now, the tried to identify what is true. Now, the tried to identify what is true. Now, the interesting thing, the tappers, the interesting thing, the tappers, the interesting thing, the tappers, the people tapping on the table, they said people tapping on the table, they said people tapping on the table, they said the listeners would get it about 50% of the listeners would get it about 50% of the listeners would get it about 50% of the time. They were doing simple songs the time. They were doing simple songs the time. They were doing simple songs like "Happy Birthday to You" or "Hot like "Happy Birthday to You" or "Hot like "Happy Birthday to You" or "Hot Cross Buns", this kind of things things Cross Buns", this kind of things things Cross Buns", this kind of things things songs that people know. The actual songs that people know. The actual songs that people know. The actual success rate was 2.5%. success rate was 2.5%. success rate was 2.5%. That is a 20 to 1 gap between what the That is a 20 to 1 gap between what the That is a 20 to 1 gap between what the communicator heard in their head and communicator heard in their head and communicator heard in their head and what the audience actually received. what the audience actually received. what the audience actually received. This actually is happening at your This actually is happening at your This actually is happening at your church every single week. A pastor church every single week. A pastor church every single week. A pastor spends maybe 20 hours on a sermon and spends maybe 20 hours on a sermon and spends maybe 20 hours on a sermon and it's full it's a full symphony of it's full it's a full symphony of it's full it's a full symphony of meaning and nuance and application. This meaning and nuance and application. This meaning and nuance and application. This congregation hears a series of congregation hears a series of congregation hears a series of disconnected taps on the table. XP disconnected taps on the table. XP disconnected taps on the table. XP Pastor did a survey about about about Pastor did a survey about about about Pastor did a survey about about about 200 leaders a couple years ago where 200 leaders a couple years ago where 200 leaders a couple years ago where they estimated that leaders estimated they estimated that leaders estimated they estimated that leaders estimated that 44% of people had forgotten the that 44% of people had forgotten the that 44% of people had forgotten the message by Monday and a whopping 94% message by Monday and a whopping 94% message by Monday and a whopping 94% by Wednesday. Church communication and by Wednesday. Church communication and by Wednesday. Church communication and practitioners, people that are thinking practitioners, people that are thinking practitioners, people that are thinking about communicating to your people about communicating to your people about communicating to your people consistently run into the same problem.

consistently run into the same problem. consistently run into the same problem. People approach them after 6 weeks of People approach them after 6 weeks of People approach them after 6 weeks of announcing something asking about the announcing something asking about the announcing something asking about the thing that they've been talking about thing that they've been talking about thing that they've been talking about for the last 6 weeks. If 94% of your for the last 6 weeks. If 94% of your for the last 6 weeks. If 94% of your congregation has forgotten this week's congregation has forgotten this week's congregation has forgotten this week's sermon by midweek, what happened to the sermon by midweek, what happened to the sermon by midweek, what happened to the invitation challenge you made 3 Sundays invitation challenge you made 3 Sundays invitation challenge you made 3 Sundays ago? The honest answer is that it has ago? The honest answer is that it has ago? The honest answer is that it has evaporated. And that's not then that's evaporated. And that's not then that's evaporated. And that's not then that's not a reason for despair, it's a reason not a reason for despair, it's a reason not a reason for despair, it's a reason to lean in harder and make and be more to lean in harder and make and be more to lean in harder and make and be more consistent than you thought you needed consistent than you thought you needed consistent than you thought you needed to be. And listen, we know that the to be. And listen, we know that the to be. And listen, we know that the channels are working against you. channels are working against you. channels are working against you. Facebook's organic reach has absolutely Facebook's organic reach has absolutely Facebook's organic reach has absolutely collapsed from an embarrassingly low 16% collapsed from an embarrassingly low 16% collapsed from an embarrassingly low 16% in 2012 to a to approximately 1.2 to in 2012 to a to approximately 1.2 to in 2012 to a to approximately 1.2 to 1.65% in 2025. A church with What does 1.65% in 2025. A church with What does 1.65% in 2025. A church with What does that mean? A church with 10,000 that mean? A church with 10,000 that mean? A church with 10,000 followers reaches roughly 130 to 165 followers reaches roughly 130 to 165 followers reaches roughly 130 to 165 people per post. Instagram, not much people per post. Instagram, not much people per post. Instagram, not much better. It sits at about 3.5. And some better. It sits at about 3.5. And some better. It sits at about 3.5. And some studies show that it dropped another 30 studies show that it dropped another 30 studies show that it dropped another 30 or 40% last year in 2025 alone. A A or 40% last year in 2025 alone. A A or 40% last year in 2025 alone. A A church that posts once on Facebook and church that posts once on Facebook and church that posts once on Facebook and once on Instagram and considers their once on Instagram and considers their once on Instagram and considers their communication job is done communication job is done communication job is done has reached at best maybe 5% of their has reached at best maybe 5% of their has reached at best maybe 5% of their online followers. Listen, email is by by online followers. Listen, email is by by online followers. Listen, email is by by all means the killer app for all means the killer app for all means the killer app for communication still in most of your communication still in most of your communication still in most of your churches, but a recent study of about churches, but a recent study of about churches, but a recent study of about 91,000 church emails saw that the open 91,000 church emails saw that the open 91,000 church emails saw that the open rate was about 30%, which is way higher rate was about 30%, which is way higher rate was about 30%, which is way higher than what we just talked about there.

than what we just talked about there. than what we just talked about there. But that means that 70% of your people But that means that 70% of your people But that means that 70% of your people are not seeing your thing that you just are not seeing your thing that you just are not seeing your thing that you just sent in an email. What does this mean? sent in an email. What does this mean? sent in an email. What does this mean? What is the takeaway? It means that a What is the takeaway? It means that a What is the takeaway? It means that a single mention in a single channel will single mention in a single channel will single mention in a single channel will barely register in your community. barely register in your community. barely register in your community. Repetition isn't annoying, it's how Repetition isn't annoying, it's how Repetition isn't annoying, it's how trust is built. Uh there's this study trust is built. Uh there's this study trust is built. Uh there's this study that's done, it's called the mirror that's done, it's called the mirror that's done, it's called the mirror exposure effect. First demonstrated in exposure effect. First demonstrated in exposure effect. First demonstrated in 1968 and it's been repeated multiple 1968 and it's been repeated multiple 1968 and it's been repeated multiple times. There was a a meta-analysis study times. There was a a meta-analysis study times. There was a a meta-analysis study done in 2017 that looked at what is done in 2017 that looked at what is done in 2017 that looked at what is called mirror exposure. This idea of called mirror exposure. This idea of called mirror exposure. This idea of simply getting a message in front of simply getting a message in front of simply getting a message in front of people repeatedly actually ultimately people repeatedly actually ultimately people repeatedly actually ultimately changes outcomes. People are more changes outcomes. People are more changes outcomes. People are more willing to take action on that thing. willing to take action on that thing. willing to take action on that thing. We've got to expose people to, in this We've got to expose people to, in this We've got to expose people to, in this case, inviting. We've got to come in case, inviting. We've got to come in case, inviting. We've got to come in front of them time and time again. You front of them time and time again. You front of them time and time again. You know, it's the old marketing rule, I know, it's the old marketing rule, I know, it's the old marketing rule, I like to call it the rule of 7-11. Seven like to call it the rule of 7-11. Seven like to call it the rule of 7-11. Seven contacts in 11 days. You've got to be in contacts in 11 days. You've got to be in contacts in 11 days. You've got to be in front of people consistently is what was front of people consistently is what was front of people consistently is what was originally birthed in the movie industry originally birthed in the movie industry originally birthed in the movie industry when they were advertising movies in the when they were advertising movies in the when they were advertising movies in the 1930s. In 2025, there was a study that's 1930s. In 2025, there was a study that's 1930s. In 2025, there was a study that's done that found because of this done that found because of this done that found because of this distracted nature of the people that we distracted nature of the people that we distracted nature of the people that we serve, it's probably close it's more serve, it's probably close it's more serve, it's probably close it's more close to 29 rather than seven. We've got close to 29 rather than seven. We've got close to 29 rather than seven. We've got to get in front of people repeatedly to get in front of people repeatedly to get in front of people repeatedly with this messages. Your church needs with this messages. Your church needs with this messages. Your church needs far more than a single announcement or a far more than a single announcement or a far more than a single announcement or a single Instagram post to shift their single Instagram post to shift their single Instagram post to shift their behavior towards invitation. I know what

behavior towards invitation. I know what behavior towards invitation. I know what you're saying. I know what you're you're saying. I know what you're you're saying. I know what you're saying. But we don't want to annoy saying. But we don't want to annoy saying. But we don't want to annoy people. But you know what? What we found people. But you know what? What we found people. But you know what? What we found time and time again in studies and you time and time again in studies and you time and time again in studies and you can click the link below, check out the can click the link below, check out the can click the link below, check out the the show notes. There are time and time the show notes. There are time and time the show notes. There are time and time again that people have a much higher again that people have a much higher again that people have a much higher tolerance for what we're sending them tolerance for what we're sending them tolerance for what we're sending them than what we think as communicators. In than what we think as communicators. In than what we think as communicators. In fact, actually unsubscribe rates go down fact, actually unsubscribe rates go down fact, actually unsubscribe rates go down as you send more emails to people. as you send more emails to people. as you send more emails to people. Actually, the more you're in front of Actually, the more you're in front of Actually, the more you're in front of people, the less likely they are to people, the less likely they are to people, the less likely they are to unsubscribe for what you're doing. In unsubscribe for what you're doing. In unsubscribe for what you're doing. In light of everything that we just talked light of everything that we just talked light of everything that we just talked about, what are growing churches about, what are growing churches about, what are growing churches actually doing differently? Listen, if actually doing differently? Listen, if actually doing differently? Listen, if this all this research makes one thing this all this research makes one thing this all this research makes one thing unavoidable, it's that shifting the unavoidable, it's that shifting the unavoidable, it's that shifting the invite culture at your church requires invite culture at your church requires invite culture at your church requires consistent, persistent, long-term consistent, persistent, long-term consistent, persistent, long-term pressure across a full breadth of the pressure across a full breadth of the pressure across a full breadth of the church's life. Growing churches don't church's life. Growing churches don't church's life. Growing churches don't mention inviting one quarter or during a mention inviting one quarter or during a mention inviting one quarter or during a ser- sermon series on evangelism. They ser- sermon series on evangelism. They ser- sermon series on evangelism. They weave it into everything. In fact, I weave it into everything. In fact, I weave it into everything. In fact, I like to call it the five years of invite like to call it the five years of invite like to call it the five years of invite culture and there are these five areas culture and there are these five areas culture and there are these five areas that we see time and time again that that we see time and time again that that we see time and time again that church leaders reach out and are church leaders reach out and are church leaders reach out and are communicating with their people to communicating with their people to communicating with their people to invite their friends. Sharable weekend invite their friends. Sharable weekend invite their friends. Sharable weekend teaching is the biggest lever. When your teaching is the biggest lever. When your teaching is the biggest lever. When your teaching is the kind of thing that your teaching is the kind of thing that your teaching is the kind of thing that your people want to talk about at lunch on people want to talk about at lunch on people want to talk about at lunch on Sunday and on Monday morning, you create Sunday and on Monday morning, you create Sunday and on Monday morning, you create raw material for invitation. Eventful raw material for invitation. Eventful raw material for invitation. Eventful big days are not a the strategy on their big days are not a the strategy on their big days are not a the strategy on their own, but they serve as a training ground own, but they serve as a training ground own, but they serve as a training ground for invitation. Easter, back to school,

for invitation. Easter, back to school, for invitation. Easter, back to school, Christmas, these are cultural moments Christmas, these are cultural moments Christmas, these are cultural moments that you should be building invite that you should be building invite that you should be building invite around. Captivating online around. Captivating online around. Captivating online conversations, turn your digital conversations, turn your digital conversations, turn your digital presence from a broadcast channel into a presence from a broadcast channel into a presence from a broadcast channel into a relational bridge. Social media that's relational bridge. Social media that's relational bridge. Social media that's built around genuine conversation rather built around genuine conversation rather built around genuine conversation rather than promotion. It's about having than promotion. It's about having than promotion. It's about having conversation online. Magnetic community conversation online. Magnetic community conversation online. Magnetic community service gets your people out of their service gets your people out of their service gets your people out of their seats and into the streets to make a seats and into the streets to make a seats and into the streets to make a difference in your communities. Churches difference in your communities. Churches difference in your communities. Churches that serve their communities together in that serve their communities together in that serve their communities together in a way that invites people to be a part a way that invites people to be a part a way that invites people to be a part of it are incredibly magnetic. Appealing of it are incredibly magnetic. Appealing of it are incredibly magnetic. Appealing volunteer experience maybe the most volunteer experience maybe the most volunteer experience maybe the most underestimated gear. People who serve underestimated gear. People who serve underestimated gear. People who serve invite. People who love to serve love to invite. People who love to serve love to invite. People who love to serve love to invite. So, the Barry Manilow spotlight invite. So, the Barry Manilow spotlight invite. So, the Barry Manilow spotlight effect is at play in your church. And I effect is at play in your church. And I effect is at play in your church. And I want to help you understand which of want to help you understand which of want to help you understand which of your gears is stuck so that you can take your gears is stuck so that you can take your gears is stuck so that you can take a step forward in inviting. If any of a step forward in inviting. If any of a step forward in inviting. If any of this research resonated, if you read the this research resonated, if you read the this research resonated, if you read the tapping tapping study and thought that's tapping tapping study and thought that's tapping tapping study and thought that's exactly what's happening with our invite exactly what's happening with our invite exactly what's happening with our invite message, message, message, we're talking to people about inviting, we're talking to people about inviting, we're talking to people about inviting, but they're not actually doing it. Then but they're not actually doing it. Then but they're not actually doing it. Then the next step isn't simply to just the next step isn't simply to just the next step isn't simply to just communicate more. What we want to do is communicate more. What we want to do is communicate more. What we want to do is actually help you understand where actually help you understand where actually help you understand where you're at. And so, we're hosting a free you're at. And so, we're hosting a free you're at. And so, we're hosting a free online workshop. It's called the invite online workshop. It's called the invite online workshop. It's called the invite culture audit workshop, and it's coming culture audit workshop, and it's coming culture audit workshop, and it's coming up on Tuesday, May 12th at 12:00 noon up on Tuesday, May 12th at 12:00 noon up on Tuesday, May 12th at 12:00 noon Eastern, 9:00 a.m. for our friends on Eastern, 9:00 a.m. for our friends on Eastern, 9:00 a.m. for our friends on the Pacific Coast, and it'll walk you

the Pacific Coast, and it'll walk you the Pacific Coast, and it'll walk you through a practical scorecard around through a practical scorecard around through a practical scorecard around these five gears to help you diagnose these five gears to help you diagnose these five gears to help you diagnose exactly where you're at. But more than exactly where you're at. But more than exactly where you're at. But more than that, it'll give you some steps that you that, it'll give you some steps that you that, it'll give you some steps that you can take this spring that will help you can take this spring that will help you can take this spring that will help you accelerate into the fall and later into accelerate into the fall and later into accelerate into the fall and later into 2026. 2026. 2026. Uh you'll walk away to be able to start Uh you'll walk away to be able to start Uh you'll walk away to be able to start acting immediately. Check the link below acting immediately. Check the link below acting immediately. Check the link below for more information. We would love to for more information. We would love to for more information. We would love to see you there at the invite culture see you there at the invite culture see you there at the invite culture audit workshop. Thanks so much, friends. audit workshop. Thanks so much, friends. audit workshop. Thanks so much, friends. Your people, listen, they love your Your people, listen, they love your Your people, listen, they love your church. They're already in the room. church. They're already in the room. church. They're already in the room. With the right systems and sustained With the right systems and sustained With the right systems and sustained encouragement, training, equipping, encouragement, training, equipping, encouragement, training, equipping, motivating, they're closer to becoming a motivating, they're closer to becoming a motivating, they're closer to becoming a church full of inviters than you think. church full of inviters than you think. church full of inviters than you think. Let's figure out what's keeping those Let's figure out what's keeping those Let's figure out what's keeping those gears from turning. We'll see you on May gears from turning. We'll see you on May gears from turning. We'll see you on May 12th.