Lori Wilhite on Unique Challenges of Spouses of Pastors

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the ladies and gentlemen welcome to the unseminary podcast are you looking for unseminary podcast are you looking for unseminary podcast are you looking for practical Ministry help to drive your practical Ministry help to drive your practical Ministry help to drive your ministry further faster have a sinking ministry further faster have a sinking ministry further faster have a sinking feeling that your ministry training feeling that your ministry training feeling that your ministry training didn't prepare you for the real world didn't prepare you for the real world didn't prepare you for the real world hey you're not alone join thousands of hey you're not alone join thousands of hey you're not alone join thousands of others in pursuit of stuff that we wish others in pursuit of stuff that we wish others in pursuit of stuff that we wish they had taught in seminary buckle up they had taught in seminary buckle up they had taught in seminary buckle up and let's get started with this week's and let's get started with this week's and let's get started with this week's unseminary podcast well hey everybody unseminary podcast well hey everybody unseminary podcast well hey everybody Welcome to the unseminary podcast my Welcome to the unseminary podcast my Welcome to the unseminary podcast my name's the rich or the host around these name's the rich or the host around these name's the rich or the host around these parts so glad that You' decided to spend parts so glad that You' decided to spend parts so glad that You' decided to spend some time with us today uh today we're some time with us today uh today we're some time with us today uh today we're honored to have Lori willik with us from honored to have Lori willik with us from honored to have Lori willik with us from all the way from Las Vegas always great all the way from Las Vegas always great all the way from Las Vegas always great to talk to somebody from uh Vegas Lori to talk to somebody from uh Vegas Lori to talk to somebody from uh Vegas Lori uh leads a Ministry called leading it uh leads a Ministry called leading it uh leads a Ministry called leading it and loving it and I want to really you and loving it and I want to really you and loving it and I want to really you know dive into that today and hear hear know dive into that today and hear hear know dive into that today and hear hear all about that they really hope to all about that they really hope to all about that they really hope to encourage uh women to you know to really encourage uh women to you know to really encourage uh women to you know to really have healthy marriages healthy families have healthy marriages healthy families have healthy marriages healthy families healthy Ministries a great organization healthy Ministries a great organization healthy Ministries a great organization uh Lori welcome to the show thank you so uh Lori welcome to the show thank you so uh Lori welcome to the show thank you so much for having me I appreciate it nice much for having me I appreciate it nice much for having me I appreciate it nice well why don't you tell us give us a bit well why don't you tell us give us a bit well why don't you tell us give us a bit of your story give us the Lor willik of your story give us the Lor willik of your story give us the Lor willik story oh gosh well my husband Jed is the story oh gosh well my husband Jed is the story oh gosh well my husband Jed is the this senior pastor at Central Christian this senior pastor at Central Christian this senior pastor at Central Christian Church in Las Vegas we've been married Church in Las Vegas we've been married Church in Las Vegas we've been married for we're almost to our 20th anniversary for we're almost to our 20th anniversary for we're almost to our 20th anniversary so so am I this this fall um so we you so so am I this this fall um so we you so so am I this this fall um so we you know I never thought I would marry a know I never thought I would marry a know I never thought I would marry a pastor that was never kind of in the pastor that was never kind of in the pastor that was never kind of in the plan I went to school to become a plan I went to school to become a plan I went to school to become a teacher and then met Jud and uh just teacher and then met Jud and uh just teacher and then met Jud and uh just thought he was the greatest thing ever thought he was the greatest thing ever thought he was the greatest thing ever and then um decided that he was the guy and then um decided that he was the guy and then um decided that he was the guy I wanted to marry and it and really I I wanted to marry and it and really I I wanted to marry and it and really I would have married him if he was would have married him if he was would have married him if he was flipping burgers somewhere or doing flipping burgers somewhere or doing flipping burgers somewhere or doing something else um I didn't really know

something else um I didn't really know something else um I didn't really know what I was getting into when I became a what I was getting into when I became a what I was getting into when I became a pastor's wife but uh kind of jumped in pastor's wife but uh kind of jumped in pastor's wife but uh kind of jumped in blind which maybe was the best thing I blind which maybe was the best thing I blind which maybe was the best thing I might have been scared off if I had might have been scared off if I had might have been scared off if I had known but it's going to be like so um I known but it's going to be like so um I known but it's going to be like so um I probably the first eight to 10 years probably the first eight to 10 years probably the first eight to 10 years were a struggle for me I I really were a struggle for me I I really were a struggle for me I I really struggled with the just the pressures struggled with the just the pressures struggled with the just the pressures and I had had put a lot of expectations and I had had put a lot of expectations and I had had put a lot of expectations on myself feeling like if this is the on myself feeling like if this is the on myself feeling like if this is the bar for pastor's wife then I'm somewhere bar for pastor's wife then I'm somewhere bar for pastor's wife then I'm somewhere in here and I'm not sure I can ever get in here and I'm not sure I can ever get in here and I'm not sure I can ever get up to what I'm supposed to be whatever up to what I'm supposed to be whatever up to what I'm supposed to be whatever that was and I knew it wasn't um I that was and I knew it wasn't um I that was and I knew it wasn't um I didn't feel like I was typical I didn't didn't feel like I was typical I didn't didn't feel like I was typical I didn't I didn't know I I just didn't know what I didn't know I I just didn't know what I didn't know I I just didn't know what I was supposed to be doing as P so I I was supposed to be doing as P so I I was supposed to be doing as P so I floundered a lot and the more Jud moved floundered a lot and the more Jud moved floundered a lot and the more Jud moved up in leadership the tighter our Circle up in leadership the tighter our Circle up in leadership the tighter our Circle got and the more isolated I felt and got and the more isolated I felt and got and the more isolated I felt and ended up spending a couple of years um ended up spending a couple of years um ended up spending a couple of years um really struggling with some depression really struggling with some depression really struggling with some depression and trying to kind of fight my way out and trying to kind of fight my way out and trying to kind of fight my way out of that and then once I got healthy and of that and then once I got healthy and of that and then once I got healthy and got me God got me back on my feet I felt got me God got me back on my feet I felt got me God got me back on my feet I felt um more secure in who I was and and um more secure in who I was and and um more secure in who I was and and trusted him that if if he put me in this trusted him that if if he put me in this trusted him that if if he put me in this role then oh my goodness then he might role then oh my goodness then he might role then oh my goodness then he might know what he was doing then um I I know what he was doing then um I I know what he was doing then um I I thought surely there's somebody else out thought surely there's somebody else out thought surely there's somebody else out there that is like me like I'll go on there that is like me like I'll go on there that is like me like I'll go on the internet and I'll see if I can find the internet and I'll see if I can find the internet and I'll see if I can find them and I tried to hunt up some them and I tried to hunt up some them and I tried to hunt up some pastor's wife things I never really pastor's wife things I never really pastor's wife things I never really found anything and so I thought well found anything and so I thought well found anything and so I thought well I'll just start something and started um

I'll just start something and started um I'll just start something and started um almost eight years ago it was a pretty almost eight years ago it was a pretty almost eight years ago it was a pretty poorly written blog if I'm being poorly written blog if I'm being poorly written blog if I'm being FR but these pastors wives just started FR but these pastors wives just started FR but these pastors wives just started like coming out of the woodwork and like coming out of the woodwork and like coming out of the woodwork and really quickly I realized like no I'm really quickly I realized like no I'm really quickly I realized like no I'm I'm I'm actually very typical of a I'm I'm actually very typical of a I'm I'm actually very typical of a pastor's wife who um who struggles with pastor's wife who um who struggles with pastor's wife who um who struggles with insecurity and loneliness and hurt and insecurity and loneliness and hurt and insecurity and loneliness and hurt and doesn't understand how to deal with the doesn't understand how to deal with the doesn't understand how to deal with the criticism that you face and all of that criticism that you face and all of that criticism that you face and all of that stuff um and we're just trying to love stuff um and we're just trying to love stuff um and we're just trying to love Jesus and love the people we're called Jesus and love the people we're called Jesus and love the people we're called to minister to imp perfectly and figure to minister to imp perfectly and figure to minister to imp perfectly and figure that out and so I figured oh my gosh I that out and so I figured oh my gosh I that out and so I figured oh my gosh I am typical and so maybe God can use me am typical and so maybe God can use me am typical and so maybe God can use me and the friends that I had made to make and the friends that I had made to make and the friends that I had made to make a difference in the lives of pastors a difference in the lives of pastors a difference in the lives of pastors wives and women in Ministry so we've wives and women in Ministry so we've wives and women in Ministry so we've been doing that for the last eight years been doing that for the last eight years been doing that for the last eight years that's our Focus to try to help them that's our Focus to try to help them that's our Focus to try to help them become healthy so their Ministries and become healthy so their Ministries and become healthy so their Ministries and families can be healthy and so we just families can be healthy and so we just families can be healthy and so we just spend a lot of our time pouring into spend a lot of our time pouring into spend a lot of our time pouring into them um equipping them connecting them them um equipping them connecting them them um equipping them connecting them impacting them so that's what we do very impacting them so that's what we do very impacting them so that's what we do very cool why don't why don't we kind of cool why don't why don't we kind of cool why don't why don't we kind of pause and talk a little bit about some pause and talk a little bit about some pause and talk a little bit about some of those pressures that you see that you of those pressures that you see that you of those pressures that you see that you deal with you know with um you know deal with you know with um you know deal with you know with um you know wives of of pastors what what were some wives of of pastors what what were some wives of of pastors what what were some of those that you see all the time you of those that you see all the time you of those that you see all the time you know what would be you know the typical know what would be you know the typical know what would be you know the typical scenario that that you hear about quite scenario that that you hear about quite scenario that that you hear about quite a bit probably number one is always a bit probably number one is always a bit probably number one is always isolation and loneliness um It's usually isolation and loneliness um It's usually isolation and loneliness um It's usually the first question we get anytime we're the first question we get anytime we're the first question we get anytime we're sitting with pastor's wives meeting with sitting with pastor's wives meeting with sitting with pastor's wives meeting with them is the who do you talk to question them is the who do you talk to question them is the who do you talk to question right because for most of us uh who do

right because for most of us uh who do right because for most of us uh who do you talk to question is very tiny even you talk to question is very tiny even you talk to question is very tiny even if you've got some friends in your if you've got some friends in your if you've got some friends in your church it wouldn't be appropriate to church it wouldn't be appropriate to church it wouldn't be appropriate to talk about church struggles your you talk about church struggles your you talk about church struggles your you know um the staff if they're giving you know um the staff if they're giving you know um the staff if they're giving you a hard time or if you're struggling with a hard time or if you're struggling with a hard time or if you're struggling with the the board members or whatever those the the board members or whatever those the the board members or whatever those kinds of church struggles aren't kinds of church struggles aren't kinds of church struggles aren't appropriate to share with your church appropriate to share with your church appropriate to share with your church members because you want to protect members because you want to protect members because you want to protect their worship experience and so um so their worship experience and so um so their worship experience and so um so the who do you talk to question becomes the who do you talk to question becomes the who do you talk to question becomes really really challenging it BEC um really really challenging it BEC um really really challenging it BEC um almost where there are times where I almost where there are times where I almost where there are times where I felt like the answer is no felt like the answer is no felt like the answer is no one so I don't know what to do with that one so I don't know what to do with that one so I don't know what to do with that and a lot of people are there um so and a lot of people are there um so and a lot of people are there um so isolation is a huge one and and so how isolation is a huge one and and so how isolation is a huge one and and so how now how do you then Coach someone in now how do you then Coach someone in now how do you then Coach someone in that situation how do how do you help that situation how do how do you help that situation how do how do you help you know what would what would be some you know what would what would be some you know what would what would be some of your advice uh you know to a woman of your advice uh you know to a woman of your advice uh you know to a woman that may be facing that today well what that may be facing that today well what that may be facing that today well what I um for me the big key to unlocking I um for me the big key to unlocking I um for me the big key to unlocking isolation was building community with isolation was building community with isolation was building community with other pastors wives specifically for me other pastors wives specifically for me other pastors wives specifically for me other senior pastor wives right because other senior pastor wives right because other senior pastor wives right because they I don't even have to say very much they I don't even have to say very much they I don't even have to say very much right and they get it right and I can right and they get it right and I can right and they get it right and I can say this weird awful thing happened last say this weird awful thing happened last say this weird awful thing happened last week and they say oh that happened to us week and they say oh that happened to us week and they say oh that happened to us the week before and so we kind of have a the week before and so we kind of have a the week before and so we kind of have a level of understanding and so what I level of understanding and so what I level of understanding and so what I encourage people to do is to be very encourage people to do is to be very encourage people to do is to be very proactive in trying to form proactive in trying to form proactive in trying to form relationships with other people and like relationships with other people and like relationships with other people and like roles and so we do we have a huge thrust roles and so we do we have a huge thrust roles and so we do we have a huge thrust of our ministry is trying to help them of our ministry is trying to help them of our ministry is trying to help them do that so we have um online groups that do that so we have um online groups that do that so we have um online groups that are based around um their roles we have

are based around um their roles we have are based around um their roles we have local groups that people meet at coffee local groups that people meet at coffee local groups that people meet at coffee shops but all of it's kind of based in shops but all of it's kind of based in shops but all of it's kind of based in that we have so much more in common than that we have so much more in common than that we have so much more in common than we do different we may come from we do different we may come from we do different we may come from different denominations and have different denominations and have different denominations and have different Church Styles and worship different Church Styles and worship different Church Styles and worship Styles or whatever but at the end of the Styles or whatever but at the end of the Styles or whatever but at the end of the day we have so much more in common um day we have so much more in common um day we have so much more in common um we're serving Jesus we're called to we're serving Jesus we're called to we're serving Jesus we're called to Ministry we have a lot of the same Ministry we have a lot of the same Ministry we have a lot of the same common struggles and so if we can pull common struggles and so if we can pull common struggles and so if we can pull into Community with one another we break into Community with one another we break into Community with one another we break those isolation bonds and for a lot of those isolation bonds and for a lot of those isolation bonds and for a lot of people it unlocks some their issues with people it unlocks some their issues with people it unlocks some their issues with depression and all of that so we really depression and all of that so we really depression and all of that so we really try to encourage people and that takes try to encourage people and that takes try to encourage people and that takes some bravery a lot of us in Ministry some bravery a lot of us in Ministry some bravery a lot of us in Ministry been hurt relationally whether that be been hurt relationally whether that be been hurt relationally whether that be from people leaving the church or being from people leaving the church or being from people leaving the church or being gossiped about or um betrayed or any gossiped about or um betrayed or any gossiped about or um betrayed or any kind of level of different things that kind of level of different things that kind of level of different things that happen to us in Ministry and so we build happen to us in Ministry and so we build happen to us in Ministry and so we build up walls and we don't want to take those up walls and we don't want to take those up walls and we don't want to take those risks of um Community but it's a bigger risks of um Community but it's a bigger risks of um Community but it's a bigger risk to stay in isolation that it is to risk to stay in isolation that it is to risk to stay in isolation that it is to risk being in community and so we just risk being in community and so we just risk being in community and so we just try to really encourage people to be try to really encourage people to be try to really encourage people to be proactive and seeking that out for proactive and seeking that out for proactive and seeking that out for themselves now do you find that that themselves now do you find that that themselves now do you find that that there may be some pastors that are there may be some pastors that are there may be some pastors that are serving today that are a little bit serving today that are a little bit serving today that are a little bit oblivious of the pressure that their oblivious of the pressure that their oblivious of the pressure that their their spouse is feeling with is that a their spouse is feeling with is that a their spouse is feeling with is that a common thing or or or are they aware of common thing or or or are they aware of common thing or or or are they aware of it and they're just not sure what to do it and they're just not sure what to do it and they're just not sure what to do um you know it probably could go either um you know it probably could go either um you know it probably could go either way a lot of it probably depends on how way a lot of it probably depends on how way a lot of it probably depends on how much their wife is telling them for me much their wife is telling them for me much their wife is telling them for me for a long time I just felt like I have for a long time I just felt like I have for a long time I just felt like I have to take one for the team I shouldn't say to take one for the team I shouldn't say to take one for the team I shouldn't say anything I shouldn't make him feel anything I shouldn't make him feel anything I shouldn't make him feel guilty I shouldn't bring up these issues guilty I shouldn't bring up these issues guilty I shouldn't bring up these issues I just got to suck it up and take one I just got to suck it up and take one I just got to suck it up and take one for the team because he's doing what

for the team because he's doing what for the team because he's doing what God's called him to do he's great I knew God's called him to do he's great I knew God's called him to do he's great I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was without a shadow of a doubt that he was without a shadow of a doubt that he was in God's will for his life so I didn't in God's will for his life so I didn't in God's will for his life so I didn't want to bring up here are all the want to bring up here are all the want to bring up here are all the struggles I have here's what I don't struggles I have here's what I don't struggles I have here's what I don't like about this here's what I want you like about this here's what I want you like about this here's what I want you to quit doing because I just felt like to quit doing because I just felt like to quit doing because I just felt like uh it would be hindering his ministry uh it would be hindering his ministry uh it would be hindering his ministry and so I didn't say anything so Jud did and so I didn't say anything so Jud did and so I didn't say anything so Jud did not know all that was going on in my not know all that was going on in my not know all that was going on in my mind and heart and life um now other mind and heart and life um now other mind and heart and life um now other wives are much more vocal and their wives are much more vocal and their wives are much more vocal and their husbands are husbands are husbands are probably about what was going on and so probably about what was going on and so probably about what was going on and so and now Jud is now I've learned like the and now Jud is now I've learned like the and now Jud is now I've learned like the take one for the team mentality is take one for the team mentality is take one for the team mentality is really self-destructive and and so now really self-destructive and and so now really self-destructive and and so now we are very very uh open about where we are very very uh open about where we are very very uh open about where each of us are at and what we're dealing each of us are at and what we're dealing each of us are at and what we're dealing with with Ministry challenges and and um with with Ministry challenges and and um with with Ministry challenges and and um now but so it probably definitely now but so it probably definitely now but so it probably definitely depends on how much how much their wives depends on how much how much their wives depends on how much how much their wives are sharing with them about what's going are sharing with them about what's going are sharing with them about what's going on in their own emotional life very cool on in their own emotional life very cool on in their own emotional life very cool yeah I know you know my own wife um she yeah I know you know my own wife um she yeah I know you know my own wife um she she has this incredible thing where she she has this incredible thing where she she has this incredible thing where she meets once a month with a group of um meets once a month with a group of um meets once a month with a group of um wives of pastors that are kind of in our wives of pastors that are kind of in our wives of pastors that are kind of in our close you know friendship and I know close you know friendship and I know close you know friendship and I know that has been incredibly lifegiving for that has been incredibly lifegiving for that has been incredibly lifegiving for them um because there is that moment them um because there is that moment them um because there is that moment where you know I think in some ways I where you know I think in some ways I where you know I think in some ways I feel bad for her if there's pressure on feel bad for her if there's pressure on feel bad for her if there's pressure on at on the work front you know at church at on the work front you know at church at on the work front you know at church I think she almost feels it more I think she almost feels it more I think she almost feels it more strongly than I do because that's like strongly than I do because that's like strongly than I do because that's like you you maybe see it's hard to see you you maybe see it's hard to see you you maybe see it's hard to see someone that you love going through someone that you love going through someone that you love going through something that is you know difficult in something that is you know difficult in something that is you know difficult in some ways it's easier to be going some ways it's easier to be going some ways it's easier to be going through it um than it is to watch through it um than it is to watch through it um than it is to watch someone go through it and um and you someone go through it and um and you someone go through it and um and you know I know they found that incredibly

know I know they found that incredibly know I know they found that incredibly um you know life-giving for sure now how um you know life-giving for sure now how um you know life-giving for sure now how do you structure the ministry at leading do you structure the ministry at leading do you structure the ministry at leading and loving it what kind of you know what and loving it what kind of you know what and loving it what kind of you know what are you providing from like a resource are you providing from like a resource are you providing from like a resource point of view do conferences that sort point of view do conferences that sort point of view do conferences that sort of thing yeah so we have three kind of of thing yeah so we have three kind of of thing yeah so we have three kind of arms of what we do so we have the equip arms of what we do so we have the equip arms of what we do so we have the equip side that's going to be anything from side that's going to be anything from side that's going to be anything from our blog to our resource development our blog to our resource development our blog to our resource development that would be Bible studies and and that would be Bible studies and and that would be Bible studies and and ebooks and all that kind of stuff we ebooks and all that kind of stuff we ebooks and all that kind of stuff we also have an online conference that is also have an online conference that is also have an online conference that is up um so it's up for the year you just up um so it's up for the year you just up um so it's up for the year you just hop online sign up for it and then it hop online sign up for it and then it hop online sign up for it and then it delivers to your email once a day for 15 delivers to your email once a day for 15 delivers to your email once a day for 15 days and it's just little short videos days and it's just little short videos days and it's just little short videos from people like this year Bobby Houston from people like this year Bobby Houston from people like this year Bobby Houston and Holly fdick and Jenny lco and Brandy and Holly fdick and Jenny lco and Brandy and Holly fdick and Jenny lco and Brandy Wilson and all these amazing pastors Wilson and all these amazing pastors Wilson and all these amazing pastors wives who just shared just one thing wives who just shared just one thing wives who just shared just one thing about their life their leadership their about their life their leadership their about their life their leadership their Ministry and it in this year it's in Ministry and it in this year it's in Ministry and it in this year it's in relation to Isaiah 61 and so that's a relation to Isaiah 61 and so that's a relation to Isaiah 61 and so that's a great thing that we offer that just great thing that we offer that just great thing that we offer that just drops um you know encouragement and drops um you know encouragement and drops um you know encouragement and Challenge and all that right into your Challenge and all that right into your Challenge and all that right into your lap while you're doing your makeup which lap while you're doing your makeup which lap while you're doing your makeup which is great yeah very cool um so we do that is great yeah very cool um so we do that is great yeah very cool um so we do that that's kind of our equip arm we have our that's kind of our equip arm we have our that's kind of our equip arm we have our connect arm which we have um a few connect arm which we have um a few connect arm which we have um a few different things one is our connect live different things one is our connect live different things one is our connect live groups they're like the small groups in groups they're like the small groups in groups they're like the small groups in your church except they're all online your church except they're all online your church except they're all online and so they'll have anywhere from 10 to and so they'll have anywhere from 10 to and so they'll have anywhere from 10 to 20 gals in it they meet once a month for 20 gals in it they meet once a month for 20 gals in it they meet once a month for hour and a half two hours they look at hour and a half two hours they look at hour and a half two hours they look at each other in little boxes on their each other in little boxes on their each other in little boxes on their screen but they develop the most screen but they develop the most screen but they develop the most beautiful friendships and Community um beautiful friendships and Community um beautiful friendships and Community um when they're in need they're mailing when they're in need they're mailing when they're in need they're mailing cookies across the country and they're cookies across the country and they're cookies across the country and they're you know taking in each other's children

you know taking in each other's children you know taking in each other's children um for this for summer missions things um for this for summer missions things um for this for summer missions things and it's they're really great groups um and it's they're really great groups um and it's they're really great groups um they provide exactly what you were they provide exactly what you were they provide exactly what you were talking about that your wife has just talking about that your wife has just talking about that your wife has just people to lean on get advice from be people to lean on get advice from be people to lean on get advice from be prayed for and then we have connect prayed for and then we have connect prayed for and then we have connect local groups we about um 35 of those local groups we about um 35 of those local groups we about um 35 of those around the country country and people around the country country and people around the country country and people just meet at coffee shops or at houses just meet at coffee shops or at houses just meet at coffee shops or at houses and it could be two or three people it and it could be two or three people it and it could be two or three people it could be in some cases 30 people and could be in some cases 30 people and could be in some cases 30 people and they just cheerlead each other encourage they just cheerlead each other encourage they just cheerlead each other encourage each other and then we have our yearly each other and then we have our yearly each other and then we have our yearly conference which is called Retreat and conference which is called Retreat and conference which is called Retreat and um our hope is that people can come and um our hope is that people can come and um our hope is that people can come and just treat themselves to some Community just treat themselves to some Community just treat themselves to some Community some encouragement to get some life some encouragement to get some life some encouragement to get some life breath back into them to catch their breath back into them to catch their breath back into them to catch their breath a little bit so they can go back breath a little bit so they can go back breath a little bit so they can go back into Ministry filled up and um this year into Ministry filled up and um this year into Ministry filled up and um this year that's in the end of October in Vegas at that's in the end of October in Vegas at that's in the end of October in Vegas at my church and we'll have you know 800 my church and we'll have you know 800 my church and we'll have you know 800 pastors wives or women in Ministry from pastors wives or women in Ministry from pastors wives or women in Ministry from around the world last year Zimbabwe was around the world last year Zimbabwe was around the world last year Zimbabwe was there randomly so we were that was there randomly so we were that was there randomly so we were that was awesome and so um so and then we have an awesome and so um so and then we have an awesome and so um so and then we have an impact arm that um is a lot of our impact arm that um is a lot of our impact arm that um is a lot of our mission stuff and just how we pull mission stuff and just how we pull mission stuff and just how we pull together to not only impact the people together to not only impact the people together to not only impact the people in our Ministries but globally and then in our Ministries but globally and then in our Ministries but globally and then um each other as well that's where we um each other as well that's where we um each other as well that's where we have all of our leadership stuff so have all of our leadership stuff so have all of our leadership stuff so that's kind of the way we have it that's kind of the way we have it that's kind of the way we have it organized and um the way we're able to organized and um the way we're able to organized and um the way we're able to kind of missionally pour back into these kind of missionally pour back into these kind of missionally pour back into these people who pour so much into the people who pour so much into the people who pour so much into the Ministries that they're involved in well

Ministries that they're involved in well Ministries that they're involved in well I would encourage people you know I would encourage people you know I would encourage people you know there's literally hundreds actually a there's literally hundreds actually a there's literally hundreds actually a couple thousand church leaders listening couple thousand church leaders listening couple thousand church leaders listening in and I really would encourage them to in and I really would encourage them to in and I really would encourage them to check out your website it's just leading check out your website it's just leading check out your website it's just leading itand lovingit do or leadingandlovingit itand lovingit do or leadingandlovingit itand lovingit do or leadingandlovingit doccom there's no it after the first doccom there's no it after the first doccom there's no it after the first just leading and loving it.com um if just leading and loving it.com um if just leading and loving it.com um if really point you in the right Direction really point you in the right Direction really point you in the right Direction give you you know a sense of of give you you know a sense of of give you you know a sense of of everything that that is available I love everything that that is available I love everything that that is available I love what you guys are doing I think it you what you guys are doing I think it you what you guys are doing I think it you know providing a great um support I know providing a great um support I know providing a great um support I think a really important support um for think a really important support um for think a really important support um for um you know a lot of women both you know um you know a lot of women both you know um you know a lot of women both you know pastors wives um or spouses and then pastors wives um or spouses and then pastors wives um or spouses and then also women in Ministry maybe we pivot a also women in Ministry maybe we pivot a also women in Ministry maybe we pivot a little bit to the women in Ministry side little bit to the women in Ministry side little bit to the women in Ministry side of the equation you tell us a little bit of the equation you tell us a little bit of the equation you tell us a little bit about that what would you say some of about that what would you say some of about that what would you say some of the unique challenges for women who are the unique challenges for women who are the unique challenges for women who are in uh Ministry today well I think it in uh Ministry today well I think it in uh Ministry today well I think it varies depending on their role and it varies depending on their role and it varies depending on their role and it also varies depending on whether their also varies depending on whether their also varies depending on whether their husband is a Ministry or not we have a husband is a Ministry or not we have a husband is a Ministry or not we have a lot of gals around leading and loving it lot of gals around leading and loving it lot of gals around leading and loving it that you know maybe um maybe they're that you know maybe um maybe they're that you know maybe um maybe they're leading the children's ministry or their leading the children's ministry or their leading the children's ministry or their women's ministry and maybe their women's ministry and maybe their women's ministry and maybe their husband's an accountant or a judge or husband's an accountant or a judge or husband's an accountant or a judge or whatever um some of them are leading whatever um some of them are leading whatever um some of them are leading Christian nonprofit organizations and so Christian nonprofit organizations and so Christian nonprofit organizations and so they have more unique challenges um when they have more unique challenges um when they have more unique challenges um when they're probably more similar to what they're probably more similar to what they're probably more similar to what Jud and the dynamic Jud and I have which Jud and the dynamic Jud and I have which Jud and the dynamic Jud and I have which is I'm not on staff I'm not in Ministry is I'm not on staff I'm not in Ministry is I'm not on staff I'm not in Ministry it's it's and so it's very similar um to it's it's and so it's very similar um to it's it's and so it's very similar um to that so they have their own unique that so they have their own unique that so they have their own unique challenges and then they're the ones who challenges and then they're the ones who challenges and then they're the ones who work at churches and their husband also work at churches and their husband also work at churches and their husband also works there which brings another un works there which brings another un works there which brings another un challenge of um working together living

challenge of um working together living challenge of um working together living together figuring all of that out as together figuring all of that out as together figuring all of that out as well and then we have um the single well and then we have um the single well and then we have um the single women in ministry as well who are you women in ministry as well who are you women in ministry as well who are you know trying to figure out how to balance know trying to figure out how to balance know trying to figure out how to balance that season of their life as well as that season of their life as well as that season of their life as well as Ministry and so there it kind of kind of Ministry and so there it kind of kind of Ministry and so there it kind of kind of depends on um where they're at and what depends on um where they're at and what depends on um where they're at and what that is like I know they're definitely that is like I know they're definitely that is like I know they're definitely you know women who are trying to figure you know women who are trying to figure you know women who are trying to figure out when I you know walk into the the out when I you know walk into the the out when I you know walk into the the boys club meeting right um how do I lead boys club meeting right um how do I lead boys club meeting right um how do I lead in that situation how do I um you know in that situation how do I um you know in that situation how do I um you know what kinds of things do I say and and so what kinds of things do I say and and so what kinds of things do I say and and so people are trying to figure out so people are trying to figure out so people are trying to figure out so that's why it's so important because I that's why it's so important because I that's why it's so important because I don't know that world I don't work at don't know that world I don't work at don't know that world I don't work at our church um I like it that way so we our church um I like it that way so we our church um I like it that way so we keep it that way so I don't understand keep it that way so I don't understand keep it that way so I don't understand those challenges personally so that's those challenges personally so that's those challenges personally so that's why it's so important for them to be in why it's so important for them to be in why it's so important for them to be in these groups with each other with these these groups with each other with these these groups with each other with these other women who get it so that they can other women who get it so that they can other women who get it so that they can really encourage each other and cheer really encourage each other and cheer really encourage each other and cheer each other on but um so I would say we each other on but um so I would say we each other on but um so I would say we have all of those people that come to have all of those people that come to have all of those people that come to retreat all those people that are part retreat all those people that are part retreat all those people that are part of our different things but it of our different things but it of our different things but it definitely the different challenges definitely the different challenges definitely the different challenges there's women in Ministry is such a wide there's women in Ministry is such a wide there's women in Ministry is such a wide group of women that U those challenges group of women that U those challenges group of women that U those challenges definitely vary this is the Seminary definitely vary this is the Seminary definitely vary this is the Seminary podcast stuff you wish they taught in podcast stuff you wish they taught in podcast stuff you wish they taught in seminary well thanks so much we're going seminary well thanks so much we're going seminary well thanks so much we're going to Pivot into the lightning round this to Pivot into the lightning round this to Pivot into the lightning round this is the round of questions that we like is the round of questions that we like is the round of questions that we like to finish the episode today we've been to finish the episode today we've been to finish the episode today we've been super honored to have Lori willhide with super honored to have Lori willhide with super honored to have Lori willhide with us from leading and loving it I'm super us from leading and loving it I'm super us from leading and loving it I'm super glad to have you on the show today just glad to have you on the show today just glad to have you on the show today just a couple questions what's an online

a couple questions what's an online a couple questions what's an online resource that you're youing using the resource that you're youing using the resource that you're youing using the these days that's helping you in your uh these days that's helping you in your uh these days that's helping you in your uh your your your ministry um we just switched over to ministry um we just switched over to ministry um we just switched over to zoom which is a um platform that does zoom which is a um platform that does zoom which is a um platform that does all the video chatting that we do in all all the video chatting that we do in all all the video chatting that we do in all of our online groups is amazing it can of our online groups is amazing it can of our online groups is amazing it can fit so many people in video chat which fit so many people in video chat which fit so many people in video chat which is awesome we've used other free ones in is awesome we've used other free ones in is awesome we've used other free ones in the past that um you know you could fit the past that um you know you could fit the past that um you know you could fit eight or 10 people in but this one I eight or 10 people in but this one I eight or 10 people in but this one I think you can do up to 50 which for us think you can do up to 50 which for us think you can do up to 50 which for us was a game changer with our groups and was a game changer with our groups and was a game changer with our groups and it's um great we love it and then we use it's um great we love it and then we use it's um great we love it and then we use Planning Center events for all of our Planning Center events for all of our Planning Center events for all of our registration they've been really registration they've been really registration they've been really wonderful and very helpful which is so wonderful and very helpful which is so wonderful and very helpful which is so many of our churches use Planning Center many of our churches use Planning Center many of our churches use Planning Center so it's a it's great for church leaders so it's a it's great for church leaders so it's a it's great for church leaders to be able to interact with as well to be able to interact with as well to be able to interact with as well absolutely very cool what's up a book absolutely very cool what's up a book absolutely very cool what's up a book you've read in the last I don't know six you've read in the last I don't know six you've read in the last I don't know six months to a year that you've months to a year that you've months to a year that you've loved loved loved well I read mostly whatever my well I read mostly whatever my well I read mostly whatever my 15-year-old to read which is usually 15-year-old to read which is usually 15-year-old to read which is usually some form of you know teen fiction I some form of you know teen fiction I some form of you know teen fiction I have no idea I can't keep up with her have no idea I can't keep up with her have no idea I can't keep up with her she's a voracious reader um and so I she's a voracious reader um and so I she's a voracious reader um and so I think the right now I'm reading think the right now I'm reading think the right now I'm reading something about people colonizing Mars I something about people colonizing Mars I something about people colonizing Mars I just started it we'll see what happens just started it we'll see what happens just started it we'll see what happens so yes I I follow her lead she tells me so yes I I follow her lead she tells me so yes I I follow her lead she tells me all the good stuff yeah that's fun I all the good stuff yeah that's fun I all the good stuff yeah that's fun I have a 15-year-old as well we I just have a 15-year-old as well we I just have a 15-year-old as well we I just wrode uh read the fifth wave I don't wrode uh read the fifth wave I don't wrode uh read the fifth wave I don't know if you saw that there was a movie know if you saw that there was a movie know if you saw that there was a movie that came out about it apparently the that came out about it apparently the that came out about it apparently the movie was terrible but uh it's that kind movie was terrible but uh it's that kind movie was terrible but uh it's that kind of you know teen fiction lots of angst of you know teen fiction lots of angst of you know teen fiction lots of angst lots of angst in there in there about lots of angst in there in there about lots of angst in there in there about the end of the world and all that um is the end of the world and all that um is the end of the world and all that um is there another Ministry that you're

there another Ministry that you're there another Ministry that you're looking at these days that you're looking at these days that you're looking at these days that you're particularly inspired by you're particularly inspired by you're particularly inspired by you're particularly think like hey well they particularly think like hey well they particularly think like hey well they seem to be doing some really cool stuff seem to be doing some really cool stuff seem to be doing some really cool stuff um you know we get a lot of inspiration um you know we get a lot of inspiration um you know we get a lot of inspiration from churches um obviously all of from churches um obviously all of from churches um obviously all of because I work with all leaders um we're because I work with all leaders um we're because I work with all leaders um we're constantly looking to see what's going constantly looking to see what's going constantly looking to see what's going on in the church world and you know I on in the church world and you know I on in the church world and you know I obviously love Central Cross Point obviously love Central Cross Point obviously love Central Cross Point Church by the Glades down in South Church by the Glades down in South Church by the Glades down in South Florida all very inspirational to us Florida all very inspirational to us Florida all very inspirational to us probably the other Ministry that we lean probably the other Ministry that we lean probably the other Ministry that we lean into the most especially for advice and into the most especially for advice and into the most especially for advice and and just like the what's next and what and just like the what's next and what and just like the what's next and what should we do when is people of the should we do when is people of the should we do when is people of the second chance Mike Foster is a dear second chance Mike Foster is a dear second chance Mike Foster is a dear friend of ours we've known him for he's friend of ours we've known him for he's friend of ours we've known him for he's my husband's best friend we' known him my husband's best friend we' known him my husband's best friend we' known him for 15 years we love what he does um the for 15 years we love what he does um the for 15 years we love what he does um the things that he does and he has been an things that he does and he has been an things that he does and he has been an incredible resource for us in just incredible resource for us in just incredible resource for us in just helping us take our ministry to next helping us take our ministry to next helping us take our ministry to next levels and so he is um very influential levels and so he is um very influential levels and so he is um very influential for us very cool if you could get 15 for us very cool if you could get 15 for us very cool if you could get 15 minutes with any leader alive I know minutes with any leader alive I know minutes with any leader alive I know that's a big question uh who would you that's a big question uh who would you that's a big question uh who would you want to get that with and why you know I want to get that with and why you know I want to get that with and why you know I used to answer that question always with used to answer that question always with used to answer that question always with Kay Warren before I knew her because she Kay Warren before I knew her because she Kay Warren before I knew her because she was um Jud bought me years ago um this was um Jud bought me years ago um this was um Jud bought me years ago um this series of pastor's wife's talks that she series of pastor's wife's talks that she series of pastor's wife's talks that she did on CD and and so I listened to them did on CD and and so I listened to them did on CD and and so I listened to them and I just felt like she was my mentor and I just felt like she was my mentor and I just felt like she was my mentor from afar and I always answered with from afar and I always answered with from afar and I always answered with like I would always have coffee with like I would always have coffee with like I would always have coffee with Kate Warren well now I actually know her Kate Warren well now I actually know her Kate Warren well now I actually know her love her she's wonderful but I would love her she's wonderful but I would love her she's wonderful but I would still say I would do I would still meet still say I would do I would still meet still say I would do I would still meet with K she every time I meet with her with K she every time I meet with her with K she every time I meet with her it's it is like um the wisdom just

it's it is like um the wisdom just it's it is like um the wisdom just shoots out of her and it doesn't matter shoots out of her and it doesn't matter shoots out of her and it doesn't matter what I've got going on in Ministry or what I've got going on in Ministry or what I've got going on in Ministry or life they have lived it been there done life they have lived it been there done life they have lived it been there done it yes and um she's just kind of my it yes and um she's just kind of my it yes and um she's just kind of my go-to person for Ministry challenges is go-to person for Ministry challenges is go-to person for Ministry challenges is leadership needs she's amazing very cool leadership needs she's amazing very cool leadership needs she's amazing very cool all right well one last question I know all right well one last question I know all right well one last question I know you know trying to uh lead your own you know trying to uh lead your own you know trying to uh lead your own organization do stuff on the home front organization do stuff on the home front organization do stuff on the home front stay sane that is a lot going on uh when stay sane that is a lot going on uh when stay sane that is a lot going on uh when you just want to kick back and have fun you just want to kick back and have fun you just want to kick back and have fun do something for fun what what do you do do something for fun what what do you do do something for fun what what do you do oh gosh well I am a huge entertainment oh gosh well I am a huge entertainment oh gosh well I am a huge entertainment junkie so anything books music TV movies junkie so anything books music TV movies junkie so anything books music TV movies we love it so we do a lot of family we love it so we do a lot of family we love it so we do a lot of family movie Nights a lot of you know reality movie Nights a lot of you know reality movie Nights a lot of you know reality competition show watching a lot of competition show watching a lot of competition show watching a lot of Amazing Race and that kind of stuff with Amazing Race and that kind of stuff with Amazing Race and that kind of stuff with my 12-year-old son but my husband and I my 12-year-old son but my husband and I my 12-year-old son but my husband and I are all about the date day and so ni now are all about the date day and so ni now are all about the date day and so ni now that our children as soon as our that our children as soon as our that our children as soon as our children started school full-time we children started school full-time we children started school full-time we were like Friday is our day and so great were like Friday is our day and so great were like Friday is our day and so great whether that means we're out shopping or whether that means we're out shopping or whether that means we're out shopping or you know maybe a Target trip or you know maybe a Target trip or you know maybe a Target trip or breakfast or lunch or whatever just breakfast or lunch or whatever just breakfast or lunch or whatever just spending time together it's just such a spending time together it's just such a spending time together it's just such a precious commodity when you're so busy precious commodity when you're so busy precious commodity when you're so busy that um it doesn't even matter what we that um it doesn't even matter what we that um it doesn't even matter what we do it's just fun to hang out together do it's just fun to hang out together do it's just fun to hang out together very cool well laori I really appreciate very cool well laori I really appreciate very cool well laori I really appreciate you being on the show today thank you so you being on the show today thank you so you being on the show today thank you so much for giving us uh some of your time much for giving us uh some of your time much for giving us uh some of your time if people want to get in touch uh what's if people want to get in touch uh what's if people want to get in touch uh what's the best way for them to do that if you the best way for them to do that if you the best way for them to do that if you go to Leading and loving it you can go to Leading and loving it you can go to Leading and loving it you can there's a contact form there that comes there's a contact form there that comes there's a contact form there that comes straight to me great you can just let me straight to me great you can just let me straight to me great you can just let me know if you have any questions or any know if you have any questions or any know if you have any questions or any needs but um But be sure to for sure

needs but um But be sure to for sure needs but um But be sure to for sure check out leading and loving it.com um check out leading and loving it.com um check out leading and loving it.com um uh you can also I have all the other uh you can also I have all the other uh you can also I have all the other social medias but let's be real the one social medias but let's be real the one social medias but let's be real the one I use is Instagram and I use is Instagram and I use is Instagram and so if you really want to talk to me so if you really want to talk to me so if you really want to talk to me message me on Instagram and it's just um message me on Instagram and it's just um message me on Instagram and it's just um Lor will height yes very cool well thank Lor will height yes very cool well thank Lor will height yes very cool well thank you so much for being on the show today you so much for being on the show today you so much for being on the show today have a great day thank you bye-bye thank have a great day thank you bye-bye thank have a great day thank you bye-bye thank you for tuning in to this week's you for tuning in to this week's you for tuning in to this week's unseminary podcast don't be shy we'd unseminary podcast don't be shy we'd unseminary podcast don't be shy we'd love to connect check out unseminary love to connect check out unseminary love to connect check out unseminary inbox you can sign up at unseminary dcom inbox you can sign up at unseminary dcom inbox you can sign up at unseminary dcom and we'll send you helpful training and we'll send you helpful training and we'll send you helpful training resources every week plus you'll gain resources every week plus you'll gain resources every week plus you'll gain immediate access to our exclusive immediate access to our exclusive immediate access to our exclusive members area with tons of resources you members area with tons of resources you members area with tons of resources you can use connect with Rich on Twitter at can use connect with Rich on Twitter at can use connect with Rich on Twitter at Rich Burch or through email Rich at Rich Burch or through email Rich at Rich Burch or through email Rich at unseminary unseminary unseminary docomo notes for this episode at docomo notes for this episode at docomo notes for this episode at unseminary unseminary unseminary docomo today and more leave a comment docomo today and more leave a comment docomo today and more leave a comment we'd love to hear from you did you enjoy we'd love to hear from you did you enjoy we'd love to hear from you did you enjoy today's episode drop by iTunes and leave today's episode drop by iTunes and leave today's episode drop by iTunes and leave a review Thanks again for tuning in to a review Thanks again for tuning in to a review Thanks again for tuning in to this week's unseminary podcast join us this week's unseminary podcast join us this week's unseminary podcast join us next week when we'll learn more stuff we next week when we'll learn more stuff we next week when we'll learn more stuff we wish they taught in wish they taught in wish they taught in seminary