Expat Life: Connection Over Politics & Escaping Loneliness
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The expat community I live inside here The expat community I live inside here has something genuinely rare right now. has something genuinely rare right now. has something genuinely rare right now. People from everywhere, radically People from everywhere, radically People from everywhere, radically different backgrounds and politics and different backgrounds and politics and different backgrounds and politics and life histories, who find a way to sit life histories, who find a way to sit life histories, who find a way to sit together, to eat together, to actually together, to eat together, to actually together, to eat together, to actually talk with each other. Because the thing talk with each other. Because the thing talk with each other. Because the thing we share ultimately is the decision to we share ultimately is the decision to we share ultimately is the decision to live differently. And that's more live differently. And that's more live differently. And that's more interesting than the things we disagree interesting than the things we disagree interesting than the things we disagree about. Ultimately, we all left, and about. Ultimately, we all left, and about. Ultimately, we all left, and that's the choice that defines us. And that's the choice that defines us. And that's the choice that defines us. And then there's a loneliness question, then there's a loneliness question, then there's a loneliness question, which I think is the most undertalked which I think is the most undertalked which I think is the most undertalked about part of North American life right about part of North American life right about part of North American life right now. The suburban model that most of now. The suburban model that most of now. The suburban model that most of North [snorts] America runs on is not North [snorts] America runs on is not North [snorts] America runs on is not designed for human connection. It is designed for human connection. It is designed for human connection. It is designed for property values, school designed for property values, school designed for property values, school district ratings, gerrymandering, and district ratings, gerrymandering, and district ratings, gerrymandering, and the efficient movement of cars on the efficient movement of cars on the efficient movement of cars on highways. You live in a house, your highways. You live in a house, your highways. You live in a house, your neighbors live in their houses, you wave neighbors live in their houses, you wave neighbors live in their houses, you wave when you happen to be in the driveway at when you happen to be in the driveway at when you happen to be in the driveway at the same time or at the Costco. Your the same time or at the Costco. Your the same time or at the Costco. Your social life requires a car trip and a social life requires a car trip and a social life requires a car trip and a calendar event and advanced planning. calendar event and advanced planning. calendar event and advanced planning. Spontaneous human contact, the kind Spontaneous human contact, the kind Spontaneous human contact, the kind where you run into someone you like and where you run into someone you like and where you run into someone you like and end up talking for an hour on the end up talking for an hour on the end up talking for an hour on the streets with your kids, is literally streets with your kids, is literally streets with your kids, is literally engineered out of the environment. I've engineered out of the environment. I've engineered out of the environment. I've been there. I had colleagues and been there. I had colleagues and been there. I had colleagues and neighbors and a city of millions around neighbors and a city of millions around neighbors and a city of millions around me, and I was objectively, measurably me, and I was objectively, measurably me, and I was objectively, measurably lonely in a way I only recognized when I lonely in a way I only recognized when I lonely in a way I only recognized when I stopped being lonely.
Summary
The expat community is able to bridge differences through their shared decision to live differently, finding connection in commonality rather than division. This contrasts with the suburban model in North America which, despite proximity, often engineers out spontaneous human contact and leads to significant loneliness. The takeaway is that deliberate choices are needed to foster genuine connection.