Roman History 20 - Commodus To Septimius 177-197 AD

Hello and welcome to the history of Hello and welcome to the history of Rome. Episode 96, the most aptly named Rome. Episode 96, the most aptly named Rome. Episode 96, the most aptly named emperor. The mildness of Marcus, which emperor. The mildness of Marcus, which emperor. The mildness of Marcus, which the rigid discipline of the Stoics had the rigid discipline of the Stoics had the rigid discipline of the Stoics had been unable to eradicate, formed at the been unable to eradicate, formed at the been unable to eradicate, formed at the same time the most amiable and the only same time the most amiable and the only same time the most amiable and the only defective part of his character. His defective part of his character. His defective part of his character. His excellent understanding was often excellent understanding was often excellent understanding was often deceived by the unsuspecting goodness in deceived by the unsuspecting goodness in deceived by the unsuspecting goodness in his his his heart. So begins chapter 4 of Edward heart. So begins chapter 4 of Edward heart. So begins chapter 4 of Edward Gibbons decline and fall of the Roman Gibbons decline and fall of the Roman Gibbons decline and fall of the Roman Empire, also known as the chapter where Empire, also known as the chapter where Empire, also known as the chapter where it starts to get really good and isn't it starts to get really good and isn't it starts to get really good and isn't quite so super boring anymore. quite so super boring anymore. quite so super boring anymore. Marcus suffering from the defect of Marcus suffering from the defect of Marcus suffering from the defect of excessive kind-heartedness had sealed excessive kind-heartedness had sealed excessive kind-heartedness had sealed his legacy as the last good precepts by his legacy as the last good precepts by his legacy as the last good precepts by entrusting the empire to his son whose entrusting the empire to his son whose entrusting the empire to his son whose legacy everyone agrees is that he was legacy everyone agrees is that he was legacy everyone agrees is that he was one of the worst emperors of all one of the worst emperors of all one of the worst emperors of all time. But Gibbon himself is not quite as time. But Gibbon himself is not quite as time. But Gibbon himself is not quite as harsh on Comeodus as you might think. In harsh on Comeodus as you might think. In harsh on Comeodus as you might think. In Gibbons's estimation, Cometus' failure Gibbons's estimation, Cometus' failure Gibbons's estimation, Cometus' failure was not that he was cruel or was not that he was cruel or was not that he was cruel or bloodthirsty or evil, but simply that he bloodthirsty or evil, but simply that he bloodthirsty or evil, but simply that he was weak. Ascending to the throne at the was weak. Ascending to the throne at the was weak. Ascending to the throne at the age of 19 in March of 180 AD, Comeodus age of 19 in March of 180 AD, Comeodus age of 19 in March of 180 AD, Comeodus naturally fell under the sway of older, naturally fell under the sway of older, naturally fell under the sway of older, savvier men who manipulated the young savvier men who manipulated the young savvier men who manipulated the young prince into satisfying their own prince into satisfying their own prince into satisfying their own ambitions. Once he had spent a few years ambitions. Once he had spent a few years ambitions. Once he had spent a few years as a mere puppet, the dark habits of his as a mere puppet, the dark habits of his as a mere puppet, the dark habits of his advisers simply ingrained themselves advisers simply ingrained themselves advisers simply ingrained themselves onto his character, and from then on the onto his character, and from then on the onto his character, and from then on the weakness of his soul became weakness of his soul became weakness of his soul became indistinguishable from the cruelty that indistinguishable from the cruelty that indistinguishable from the cruelty that manifested as a result. In the end

manifested as a result. In the end manifested as a result. In the end though, he seemed to have learned his though, he seemed to have learned his though, he seemed to have learned his lessons a little too well, and he turned lessons a little too well, and he turned lessons a little too well, and he turned out to be far savvier and far cruer than out to be far savvier and far cruer than out to be far savvier and far cruer than any of his advisers, and he was only any of his advisers, and he was only any of his advisers, and he was only caught out and killed after a good three caught out and killed after a good three caught out and killed after a good three or four complete and bloody turnovers of or four complete and bloody turnovers of or four complete and bloody turnovers of personnel within his inner personnel within his inner personnel within his inner circle. That's Gibbons assessment circle. That's Gibbons assessment circle. That's Gibbons assessment anyway. Others are not quite so quick to anyway. Others are not quite so quick to anyway. Others are not quite so quick to let Comeodus off the hook. They see in let Comeodus off the hook. They see in let Comeodus off the hook. They see in him from the get-go, a self-absorbed him from the get-go, a self-absorbed him from the get-go, a self-absorbed hedonist who was intellectually vacant, hedonist who was intellectually vacant, hedonist who was intellectually vacant, obsessed with sport, and likely a obsessed with sport, and likely a obsessed with sport, and likely a sociopath to boot. He was Lucius Verus sociopath to boot. He was Lucius Verus sociopath to boot. He was Lucius Verus without any Marcus Aurelius to keep him without any Marcus Aurelius to keep him without any Marcus Aurelius to keep him in check. He was Nero and Caligula in check. He was Nero and Caligula in check. He was Nero and Caligula combined, topping both in scandal, combined, topping both in scandal, combined, topping both in scandal, debauchery, and murderous debauchery, and murderous debauchery, and murderous frivolity. Still others though loved frivolity. Still others though loved frivolity. Still others though loved Comedus, and at least for the majority Comedus, and at least for the majority Comedus, and at least for the majority of his reign, thought he was the of his reign, thought he was the of his reign, thought he was the absolute bee's knees. Now, what group of absolute bee's knees. Now, what group of absolute bee's knees. Now, what group of compulsive contrarians would take such a compulsive contrarians would take such a compulsive contrarians would take such a contradictory line on a man so contradictory line on a man so contradictory line on a man so universally reviled by history? Why, the universally reviled by history? Why, the universally reviled by history? Why, the people of Rome, of people of Rome, of people of Rome, of course. The story of the reign of course. The story of the reign of course. The story of the reign of Comeodus and like the story of the reign Comeodus and like the story of the reign Comeodus and like the story of the reign of dimmission was chronicled by the of dimmission was chronicled by the of dimmission was chronicled by the Roman aristocracy and they to a man Roman aristocracy and they to a man Roman aristocracy and they to a man loathed him and everything he ever loathed him and everything he ever loathed him and everything he ever did. The general population never got a did. The general population never got a did. The general population never got a say in the way Roman history was say in the way Roman history was say in the way Roman history was written. So all the bits about how written. So all the bits about how written. So all the bits about how Comedus was for a long time at least a Comedus was for a long time at least a Comedus was for a long time at least a beloved figure comes as something of a beloved figure comes as something of a beloved figure comes as something of a surprise to modern surprise to modern surprise to modern ears. But unlike dimmission who comes by ears. But unlike dimmission who comes by ears. But unlike dimmission who comes by his bad rap somewhat but not totally

his bad rap somewhat but not totally his bad rap somewhat but not totally unfairly, Cometus I think earned his in unfairly, Cometus I think earned his in unfairly, Cometus I think earned his in spades. There was for example no spades. There was for example no spades. There was for example no underlying soundness of policy to go underlying soundness of policy to go underlying soundness of policy to go with the cruelty. No greater vision for with the cruelty. No greater vision for with the cruelty. No greater vision for the empire beyond when the next set of the empire beyond when the next set of the empire beyond when the next set of games was going to be. And unlike the games was going to be. And unlike the games was going to be. And unlike the mission's reign of terror, which as I mission's reign of terror, which as I mission's reign of terror, which as I mentioned was comparable to the mentioned was comparable to the mentioned was comparable to the political murders of dear old uncle political murders of dear old uncle political murders of dear old uncle Claudius, communist went back to the Claudius, communist went back to the Claudius, communist went back to the well of blood time and time again in a well of blood time and time again in a well of blood time and time again in a purge and prescription cycle that came purge and prescription cycle that came purge and prescription cycle that came around every 3 to 5 years as men fell around every 3 to 5 years as men fell around every 3 to 5 years as men fell from favor and others rose to take their from favor and others rose to take their from favor and others rose to take their place. But if there was one thing that place. But if there was one thing that place. But if there was one thing that Cometus did really well, at least until Cometus did really well, at least until Cometus did really well, at least until the very end, it was keeping the people the very end, it was keeping the people the very end, it was keeping the people in the street eating out of his often in the street eating out of his often in the street eating out of his often extended hand. The people in the street extended hand. The people in the street extended hand. The people in the street didn't really care what senator Comedus didn't really care what senator Comedus didn't really care what senator Comedus was in the process of humiliating or was in the process of humiliating or was in the process of humiliating or what governor he was in the process of what governor he was in the process of what governor he was in the process of assassinating. What they cared about assassinating. What they cared about assassinating. What they cared about honestly was games. And boy did Comeodus honestly was games. And boy did Comeodus honestly was games. And boy did Comeodus ever give them what they ever give them what they ever give them what they wanted. Polar opposite of Marcus and his wanted. Polar opposite of Marcus and his wanted. Polar opposite of Marcus and his few begrudging spectacles, Cometus few begrudging spectacles, Cometus few begrudging spectacles, Cometus embraced the games like no emperor embraced the games like no emperor embraced the games like no emperor before or since, and the people ate it before or since, and the people ate it before or since, and the people ate it up. By the end though, he had driven the up. By the end though, he had driven the up. By the end though, he had driven the empire deep, deep into debt, and had empire deep, deep into debt, and had empire deep, deep into debt, and had gone so far off his rocker that even his gone so far off his rocker that even his gone so far off his rocker that even his previously adoring masses turned on him.

previously adoring masses turned on him. previously adoring masses turned on him. But for the better part of a decade, we But for the better part of a decade, we But for the better part of a decade, we should always remember that his enemies should always remember that his enemies should always remember that his enemies were in the Senate and just about were in the Senate and just about were in the Senate and just about nowhere else. Cometus made it plain from the very Cometus made it plain from the very beginning that his reign was not going beginning that his reign was not going beginning that his reign was not going to be like that of his to be like that of his to be like that of his fathers. Shipping the corpse of Marcus fathers. Shipping the corpse of Marcus fathers. Shipping the corpse of Marcus to Rome for burial and deification and to Rome for burial and deification and to Rome for burial and deification and etc etc. Cometus stayed encamped along etc etc. Cometus stayed encamped along etc etc. Cometus stayed encamped along the Danube to finish what his father had the Danube to finish what his father had the Danube to finish what his father had started. And by that I mean just that started. And by that I mean just that started. And by that I mean just that finish what his father had finish what his father had finish what his father had started. Despite the pleas of Claudius started. Despite the pleas of Claudius started. Despite the pleas of Claudius Pompeianis and the other leaders who had Pompeianis and the other leaders who had Pompeianis and the other leaders who had poured their blood and sweat into the poured their blood and sweat into the poured their blood and sweat into the German campaigns, Commodus announced his German campaigns, Commodus announced his German campaigns, Commodus announced his intention to wrap things up and head intention to wrap things up and head intention to wrap things up and head home. "But the work is undone," his home. "But the work is undone," his home. "But the work is undone," his father's old failance of lieutenants father's old failance of lieutenants father's old failance of lieutenants cried. "It will only take another year, cried. "It will only take another year, cried. "It will only take another year, and then we can all bask in the glory of and then we can all bask in the glory of and then we can all bask in the glory of having defeated the barbarians and added having defeated the barbarians and added having defeated the barbarians and added new territory to the empire, just as new territory to the empire, just as new territory to the empire, just as your father always wanted." It was your father always wanted." It was your father always wanted." It was practically his dying wish that you practically his dying wish that you practically his dying wish that you should lead us to victory.

should lead us to victory. should lead us to victory. But Comeodus was having none of it. He But Comeodus was having none of it. He But Comeodus was having none of it. He would come to final terms with the Marco would come to final terms with the Marco would come to final terms with the Marco Mani and Cuadi and then head back to Mani and Cuadi and then head back to Mani and Cuadi and then head back to Rome as soon as possible. There are two interpretations possible. There are two interpretations of why Commodus was so quick to withdraw of why Commodus was so quick to withdraw of why Commodus was so quick to withdraw from the Danube and at least to a good from the Danube and at least to a good from the Danube and at least to a good chunk of his father's allies simply chunk of his father's allies simply chunk of his father's allies simply vacate the meaning of 12 years hard vacate the meaning of 12 years hard vacate the meaning of 12 years hard labor in the labor in the labor in the process. The first take is a high-minded process. The first take is a high-minded process. The first take is a high-minded one. Cometus saw himself playing Hadrien one. Cometus saw himself playing Hadrien one. Cometus saw himself playing Hadrien to his father's trajean that he saw the to his father's trajean that he saw the to his father's trajean that he saw the new German provinces would rather than new German provinces would rather than new German provinces would rather than add wealth to the empire proved to be add wealth to the empire proved to be add wealth to the empire proved to be militarily indefensible and become a militarily indefensible and become a militarily indefensible and become a dangerous drain on the dangerous drain on the dangerous drain on the treasury. Whatever romantic notions of treasury. Whatever romantic notions of treasury. Whatever romantic notions of victory Marcus had forged in the heat of victory Marcus had forged in the heat of victory Marcus had forged in the heat of battle. Someone, namely Comeodus, had to battle. Someone, namely Comeodus, had to battle. Someone, namely Comeodus, had to bring some objective clear thinking to bring some objective clear thinking to bring some objective clear thinking to the situation. And the fact of the the situation. And the fact of the the situation. And the fact of the matter was the whole campaign had matter was the whole campaign had matter was the whole campaign had probably been an unforgivable waste of probably been an unforgivable waste of probably been an unforgivable waste of men and money. To see it through to the men and money. To see it through to the men and money. To see it through to the end would not secure his father's end would not secure his father's end would not secure his father's legacy. It would damn it as an example legacy. It would damn it as an example legacy. It would damn it as an example of criminal of criminal of criminal overreach. But the other interpretation, overreach. But the other interpretation, overreach. But the other interpretation, and these two rationes are by no means and these two rationes are by no means and these two rationes are by no means mutually exclusive, is that Cometus had mutually exclusive, is that Cometus had mutually exclusive, is that Cometus had had it up to here with freezing to death had it up to here with freezing to death had it up to here with freezing to death in a plagueinfested legionary camp. He in a plagueinfested legionary camp. He in a plagueinfested legionary camp. He was going back to Rome where the baths was going back to Rome where the baths was going back to Rome where the baths were hot and the women were plentiful.

were hot and the women were plentiful. were hot and the women were plentiful. What was the point of being emperor if What was the point of being emperor if What was the point of being emperor if he couldn't live like one? Not totally insensible to one? Not totally insensible to appearances, Comeodus did decide to lead appearances, Comeodus did decide to lead appearances, Comeodus did decide to lead a force across the river one last time, a force across the river one last time, a force across the river one last time, where after picking a suitably where after picking a suitably where after picking a suitably overmatched collection of Germans, he overmatched collection of Germans, he overmatched collection of Germans, he beat said overmatched collection of beat said overmatched collection of beat said overmatched collection of Germans soundly. Germans soundly. Germans soundly. This allowed the new emperor the This allowed the new emperor the This allowed the new emperor the necessary optical cover he needed to necessary optical cover he needed to necessary optical cover he needed to declare victory and declare victory and declare victory and leave. He came to terms with the leave. He came to terms with the leave. He came to terms with the grateful and utterly exhausted Quadi and grateful and utterly exhausted Quadi and grateful and utterly exhausted Quadi and Marco Mani and in the autumn of 180 AD Marco Mani and in the autumn of 180 AD Marco Mani and in the autumn of 180 AD began the trip back to began the trip back to began the trip back to Rome. What we should make of this Rome. What we should make of this Rome. What we should make of this decision to leave is still open to decision to leave is still open to decision to leave is still open to debate. But it is worth mentioning that debate. But it is worth mentioning that debate. But it is worth mentioning that when the Romans called off the fight when the Romans called off the fight when the Romans called off the fight this time, the Germans took peace for an this time, the Germans took peace for an this time, the Germans took peace for an answer, and it proved to be more than 70 answer, and it proved to be more than 70 answer, and it proved to be more than 70 years before there was once again years before there was once again years before there was once again serious trouble north of the serious trouble north of the serious trouble north of the Danube. Cometus took the relative peace Danube. Cometus took the relative peace Danube. Cometus took the relative peace as proof of the wisdom of his actions. as proof of the wisdom of his actions. as proof of the wisdom of his actions. But it is also worth pointing out that But it is also worth pointing out that But it is also worth pointing out that the various German tribes had just had the various German tribes had just had the various German tribes had just had the snot kicked out of them for the the snot kicked out of them for the the snot kicked out of them for the better part of 12 years. Their leaders better part of 12 years. Their leaders better part of 12 years. Their leaders were all dead and the ranks of their were all dead and the ranks of their were all dead and the ranks of their armies had been reduced by plague and armies had been reduced by plague and armies had been reduced by plague and war even worse than the legions had war even worse than the legions had war even worse than the legions had been. If Comeodus had pursued the same been. If Comeodus had pursued the same been. If Comeodus had pursued the same policy a decade earlier, the whole policy a decade earlier, the whole policy a decade earlier, the whole northern empire might have been overrun.

northern empire might have been overrun. northern empire might have been overrun. But he didn't pursue the policy then. He But he didn't pursue the policy then. He But he didn't pursue the policy then. He was pursuing it now. And much as it was pursuing it now. And much as it was pursuing it now. And much as it irked the hawks in the Senate and among irked the hawks in the Senate and among irked the hawks in the Senate and among his own circle of imperial advisers, his own circle of imperial advisers, his own circle of imperial advisers, there was no great fallout to come from there was no great fallout to come from there was no great fallout to come from abandoning the war. abandoning the war. abandoning the war. In October 180, Ecomus returned to Rome In October 180, Ecomus returned to Rome In October 180, Ecomus returned to Rome to begin the process of securing his to begin the process of securing his to begin the process of securing his rule. As you'll recall from last week's rule. As you'll recall from last week's rule. As you'll recall from last week's episode, Marcus had been very careful episode, Marcus had been very careful episode, Marcus had been very careful about making sure that there would be no about making sure that there would be no about making sure that there would be no pretenders to the throne when Comeodus pretenders to the throne when Comeodus pretenders to the throne when Comeodus succeeded him. And in this, he was succeeded him. And in this, he was succeeded him. And in this, he was entirely successful. None of his various entirely successful. None of his various entirely successful. None of his various brothers-in-law had any interest in brothers-in-law had any interest in brothers-in-law had any interest in challenging him, and no one else had the challenging him, and no one else had the challenging him, and no one else had the guts or support to pull a fast one on guts or support to pull a fast one on guts or support to pull a fast one on the empire, especially after the fall of the empire, especially after the fall of the empire, especially after the fall of Avidious Cases. But that did not mean Avidious Cases. But that did not mean Avidious Cases. But that did not mean that there was not still work to be that there was not still work to be that there was not still work to be done in securing their own positions. done in securing their own positions. done in securing their own positions. Marcus and Antonyinus Pas had worked Marcus and Antonyinus Pas had worked Marcus and Antonyinus Pas had worked deciduously to curry favor within the deciduously to curry favor within the deciduously to curry favor within the senatorial class. But Comeodus, as in senatorial class. But Comeodus, as in senatorial class. But Comeodus, as in all things where his father did one all things where his father did one all things where his father did one thing, he did the exact opposite.

thing, he did the exact opposite. thing, he did the exact opposite. Cometus figured his rule would be Cometus figured his rule would be Cometus figured his rule would be unchallenged if he won the support of unchallenged if he won the support of unchallenged if he won the support of two groups, the soldiers in the field two groups, the soldiers in the field two groups, the soldiers in the field and the masses in the street. and the masses in the street. and the masses in the street. He had already earned the love of the He had already earned the love of the He had already earned the love of the common soldiers in the army by common soldiers in the army by common soldiers in the army by cancelling the war in Germany. Soldiers cancelling the war in Germany. Soldiers cancelling the war in Germany. Soldiers in general love it when you tell them in general love it when you tell them in general love it when you tell them they don't have to slog around dank they don't have to slog around dank they don't have to slog around dank forests enduring gerilla attacks forests enduring gerilla attacks forests enduring gerilla attacks anymore. So upon his return to Rome, anymore. So upon his return to Rome, anymore. So upon his return to Rome, Comeodus set about earning the love of Comeodus set about earning the love of Comeodus set about earning the love of the people. This meant first issuing a the people. This meant first issuing a the people. This meant first issuing a generous donative to every male citizen generous donative to every male citizen generous donative to every male citizen in the city and second it meant throwing in the city and second it meant throwing in the city and second it meant throwing spectacular games to celebrate his spectacular games to celebrate his spectacular games to celebrate his ascension. ascension. ascension. fat with cash and prizes. The people, fat with cash and prizes. The people, fat with cash and prizes. The people, needless to say, were in Commodus' needless to say, were in Commodus' needless to say, were in Commodus' pocket from day pocket from day pocket from day one. The Senate, meanwhile, looked on one. The Senate, meanwhile, looked on one. The Senate, meanwhile, looked on all of this with a mixture of hope and all of this with a mixture of hope and all of this with a mixture of hope and disdain. They knew Commodus' reputation disdain. They knew Commodus' reputation disdain. They knew Commodus' reputation and knew that he was still a teenager, and knew that he was still a teenager, and knew that he was still a teenager, but hoped that maybe one day, once he's but hoped that maybe one day, once he's but hoped that maybe one day, once he's done proving to everyone what a super done proving to everyone what a super done proving to everyone what a super wonderful guy he is, that he would get wonderful guy he is, that he would get wonderful guy he is, that he would get down to the serious business and work down to the serious business and work down to the serious business and work with the Senate to govern the empire with the Senate to govern the empire with the Senate to govern the empire responsibly.

responsibly. responsibly. But their hope quickly faded, engulfed But their hope quickly faded, engulfed But their hope quickly faded, engulfed by the by the by the disdain. Because it wasn't just that disdain. Because it wasn't just that disdain. Because it wasn't just that Cometus planned to ignore the Senate. Cometus planned to ignore the Senate. Cometus planned to ignore the Senate. No, he was about to embark on a policy No, he was about to embark on a policy No, he was about to embark on a policy of openly antagonizing of openly antagonizing of openly antagonizing them. There doesn't seem to be any real them. There doesn't seem to be any real them. There doesn't seem to be any real rationale for Commodus' attitude towards rationale for Commodus' attitude towards rationale for Commodus' attitude towards the Senate. And his reasoning may not the Senate. And his reasoning may not the Senate. And his reasoning may not have been any deeper than that he had have been any deeper than that he had have been any deeper than that he had been born a high prince and was now the been born a high prince and was now the been born a high prince and was now the undisputed ruler of the Roman Empire. undisputed ruler of the Roman Empire. undisputed ruler of the Roman Empire. He was not, as Marcus and Antonyinus had He was not, as Marcus and Antonyinus had He was not, as Marcus and Antonyinus had been, a member in good standing of the been, a member in good standing of the been, a member in good standing of the aristocratic mutual admiration society, aristocratic mutual admiration society, aristocratic mutual admiration society, and probably figured that as long as he and probably figured that as long as he and probably figured that as long as he had the people and the armies on his had the people and the armies on his had the people and the armies on his side, that he could pretty much do side, that he could pretty much do side, that he could pretty much do whatever he wanted with the old fuddy whatever he wanted with the old fuddy whatever he wanted with the old fuddy duddies in the Senate. And in a way, he duddies in the Senate. And in a way, he duddies in the Senate. And in a way, he was was was right. People asked during the 100th right. People asked during the 100th right. People asked during the 100th episode thread when the old Roman Senate episode thread when the old Roman Senate episode thread when the old Roman Senate stopped convening. And the answer is stopped convening. And the answer is stopped convening. And the answer is that we don't exactly know. But in the that we don't exactly know. But in the that we don't exactly know. But in the west, it looked like it persisted at west, it looked like it persisted at west, it looked like it persisted at least into the 600s AD. However, for all least into the 600s AD. However, for all least into the 600s AD. However, for all practical purposes, they could have practical purposes, they could have practical purposes, they could have closed up shop right closed up shop right closed up shop right now. Despite a few brief flirtations now. Despite a few brief flirtations now. Despite a few brief flirtations with relevance during the chaos of the with relevance during the chaos of the with relevance during the chaos of the mid-3rd century, the reign of Cometus mid-3rd century, the reign of Cometus mid-3rd century, the reign of Cometus marked the end of the line for the marked the end of the line for the marked the end of the line for the aristocratic aristocratic aristocratic assembly. The severs had no time for the assembly. The severs had no time for the assembly. The severs had no time for the Senate. The crisis period was a running Senate. The crisis period was a running Senate. The crisis period was a running battle between rival generals. And then battle between rival generals. And then battle between rival generals. And then when Diolesian reformed the governmental when Diolesian reformed the governmental when Diolesian reformed the governmental structure of the empire to better structure of the empire to better structure of the empire to better reflect reality, the Senate was left out reflect reality, the Senate was left out reflect reality, the Senate was left out of the bargain of the bargain of the bargain completely. In this respect, Commodus

completely. In this respect, Commodus completely. In this respect, Commodus did have a major hand in helping push did have a major hand in helping push did have a major hand in helping push the old Roman order off a the old Roman order off a the old Roman order off a cliff. Remember how worried Hadrien had cliff. Remember how worried Hadrien had cliff. Remember how worried Hadrien had been about having the blood of four been about having the blood of four been about having the blood of four senators on his hand, or how proud senators on his hand, or how proud senators on his hand, or how proud Antonyinus and Marcus had been that they Antonyinus and Marcus had been that they Antonyinus and Marcus had been that they had not executed any members of the had not executed any members of the had not executed any members of the Senate during their reign? That was all Senate during their reign? That was all Senate during their reign? That was all over. When 193 rolled around, the Senate over. When 193 rolled around, the Senate over. When 193 rolled around, the Senate was not just irrelevant. It had been was not just irrelevant. It had been was not just irrelevant. It had been transformed by execution, prescription, transformed by execution, prescription, transformed by execution, prescription, murder, and exile into an entirely murder, and exile into an entirely murder, and exile into an entirely different assembly than the one Commodus different assembly than the one Commodus different assembly than the one Commodus had inherited in had inherited in had inherited in 180. The Senate Septimius Severis 180. The Senate Septimius Severis 180. The Senate Septimius Severis inherited was not just ignorable. It inherited was not just ignorable. It inherited was not just ignorable. It was, after being packed with low-life was, after being packed with low-life was, after being packed with low-life supporters of Commodus, probably worth supporters of Commodus, probably worth supporters of Commodus, probably worth ignoring. At the outset though, no one, ignoring. At the outset though, no one, ignoring. At the outset though, no one, probably not even Cometus himself knew probably not even Cometus himself knew probably not even Cometus himself knew that that was the direction the young that that was the direction the young that that was the direction the young emperor was emperor was emperor was headed. For right now anyway, Cometus headed. For right now anyway, Cometus headed. For right now anyway, Cometus didn't seem to have much interest in didn't seem to have much interest in didn't seem to have much interest in anything as boring or time-consuming as anything as boring or time-consuming as anything as boring or time-consuming as an epic purge of the an epic purge of the an epic purge of the Senate. He instead retired to the palace Senate. He instead retired to the palace Senate. He instead retired to the palace to enjoy the benefits of being emperor to enjoy the benefits of being emperor to enjoy the benefits of being emperor and turned over actual administration of and turned over actual administration of and turned over actual administration of the empire to his imperial chamberlain the empire to his imperial chamberlain the empire to his imperial chamberlain and sometimes male lover, a freedman and sometimes male lover, a freedman and sometimes male lover, a freedman named Sataras.

named Sataras. named Sataras. The Senate was obviously scandalized The Senate was obviously scandalized The Senate was obviously scandalized that the emperor was handing power over that the emperor was handing power over that the emperor was handing power over to some freedman lover, male lover no to some freedman lover, male lover no to some freedman lover, male lover no less, and Sataras was universally less, and Sataras was universally less, and Sataras was universally despised in the upper classes. This despised in the upper classes. This despised in the upper classes. This hatred was only heightened when Sataras hatred was only heightened when Sataras hatred was only heightened when Sataras realized that the Treasury could not realized that the Treasury could not realized that the Treasury could not support the promises commodist had made support the promises commodist had made support the promises commodist had made to the people, and he hit upon the old to the people, and he hit upon the old to the people, and he hit upon the old idea of property confiscation to help idea of property confiscation to help idea of property confiscation to help pay for it all. pay for it all. pay for it all. in fits and starts at first, but then in fits and starts at first, but then in fits and starts at first, but then more routinely, senators would be more routinely, senators would be more routinely, senators would be accused of treason on trumped up charges accused of treason on trumped up charges accused of treason on trumped up charges and wake up to find that their estates and wake up to find that their estates and wake up to find that their estates had been seized by the had been seized by the had been seized by the emperor. It was right around this time emperor. It was right around this time emperor. It was right around this time that all hope dissolved and the disdain that all hope dissolved and the disdain that all hope dissolved and the disdain fully took over and also the fear. But it wouldn't be the Senate who took But it wouldn't be the Senate who took the first shot at Commodus. Nor would the first shot at Commodus. Nor would the first shot at Commodus. Nor would that first shot be taken to strike a that first shot be taken to strike a that first shot be taken to strike a blow for liberty in the face of despotic blow for liberty in the face of despotic blow for liberty in the face of despotic tyranny. Comedus' sister Lucilla by tyranny. Comedus' sister Lucilla by tyranny. Comedus' sister Lucilla by virtue of her long deadad marriage to virtue of her long deadad marriage to virtue of her long deadad marriage to Lucius Ver still retained the title of Lucius Ver still retained the title of Lucius Ver still retained the title of Augusta and since the death of Fina in Augusta and since the death of Fina in Augusta and since the death of Fina in 175 had enjoyed the perks that came with 175 had enjoyed the perks that came with 175 had enjoyed the perks that came with being the preeeminent woman of the being the preeeminent woman of the being the preeeminent woman of the empire. But now that her younger brother empire. But now that her younger brother empire. But now that her younger brother wore the purple, his pretty little thing wore the purple, his pretty little thing wore the purple, his pretty little thing of a wife, Christina, suddenly of a wife, Christina, suddenly of a wife, Christina, suddenly supplanted supplanted supplanted Lucilla. Petty as it sounds, the most Lucilla. Petty as it sounds, the most Lucilla. Petty as it sounds, the most commonly relayed version of the story is commonly relayed version of the story is commonly relayed version of the story is that the final break came when Lucilla that the final break came when Lucilla that the final break came when Lucilla was forced to give up the prize box at was forced to give up the prize box at was forced to give up the prize box at the theater in favor of the theater in favor of the theater in favor of Christina. From that moment on, it seems

Christina. From that moment on, it seems Christina. From that moment on, it seems that Lucilla opened up a conspiracy to that Lucilla opened up a conspiracy to that Lucilla opened up a conspiracy to kill her little brother. kill her little brother. kill her little brother. She took into confidence her lover She took into confidence her lover She took into confidence her lover Marcus Quadratus and a few other Marcus Quadratus and a few other Marcus Quadratus and a few other particularly dissatisfied senators, particularly dissatisfied senators, particularly dissatisfied senators, though importantly not her husband though importantly not her husband though importantly not her husband Claudius Pompeianis, who Lucilla seems Claudius Pompeianis, who Lucilla seems Claudius Pompeianis, who Lucilla seems to have had no like or love for to have had no like or love for to have had no like or love for whatsoever, and a plot was whatsoever, and a plot was whatsoever, and a plot was hatched. As 181 gave way to 182, the hatched. As 181 gave way to 182, the hatched. As 181 gave way to 182, the plan hardened and the details were set. plan hardened and the details were set. plan hardened and the details were set. A young senator and nephew of Claudius A young senator and nephew of Claudius A young senator and nephew of Claudius Pompeianis named Pompius Quentanis was Pompeianis named Pompius Quentanis was Pompeianis named Pompius Quentanis was enlisted to actually lay the killing enlisted to actually lay the killing enlisted to actually lay the killing stroke. And one night as Comeodus stroke. And one night as Comeodus stroke. And one night as Comeodus returned home from the theater, returned home from the theater, returned home from the theater, Quintanis was hiding in the shadowy Quintanis was hiding in the shadowy Quintanis was hiding in the shadowy porticos of the porticos of the porticos of the coliseum. He leapt out of his hiding coliseum. He leapt out of his hiding coliseum. He leapt out of his hiding place as the imperial party passed, place as the imperial party passed, place as the imperial party passed, catching the emperor and his bodyguards catching the emperor and his bodyguards catching the emperor and his bodyguards by surprise. But rather than just by surprise. But rather than just by surprise. But rather than just killing the emperor, Quintonis added a killing the emperor, Quintonis added a killing the emperor, Quintonis added a little dramatic flourish, crying, "See, little dramatic flourish, crying, "See, little dramatic flourish, crying, "See, this is what the Senate sends this is what the Senate sends this is what the Senate sends you." This unnecessary hesitation you." This unnecessary hesitation you." This unnecessary hesitation allowed the startled Ptorians time to allowed the startled Ptorians time to allowed the startled Ptorians time to recover, tackle Quintonis, and wrestle recover, tackle Quintonis, and wrestle recover, tackle Quintonis, and wrestle him to the him to the him to the ground. Caught and tortured, the young ground. Caught and tortured, the young ground. Caught and tortured, the young assassin revealed the full details of assassin revealed the full details of assassin revealed the full details of the plot, and that the prime mover of the plot, and that the prime mover of the plot, and that the prime mover of the conspiracy had been none other than the conspiracy had been none other than the conspiracy had been none other than Lucil.

Lucil. Lucil. Quadratus and Quintanis were immediately Quadratus and Quintanis were immediately Quadratus and Quintanis were immediately executed and Lucila was exiled to the executed and Lucila was exiled to the executed and Lucila was exiled to the island of island of island of Capri. Once she had been out of sight Capri. Once she had been out of sight Capri. Once she had been out of sight and mind for a while, Commodus sent and mind for a while, Commodus sent and mind for a while, Commodus sent along the order to have her killed. But the attempt on Commodus' killed. But the attempt on Commodus' life had only been part of the plan. The life had only been part of the plan. The life had only been part of the plan. The other half of the plot actually other half of the plot actually other half of the plot actually succeeded, and with the help of the two succeeded, and with the help of the two succeeded, and with the help of the two Ptorian prefects, Sataras turned up dead Ptorian prefects, Sataras turned up dead Ptorian prefects, Sataras turned up dead a few days later. a few days later. a few days later. still reeling from his own brush with still reeling from his own brush with still reeling from his own brush with death. When Comeodus learned that his death. When Comeodus learned that his death. When Comeodus learned that his favorite had been murdered, the emperor favorite had been murdered, the emperor favorite had been murdered, the emperor went into a went into a went into a frenzy. Just as the reign of Comedus was frenzy. Just as the reign of Comedus was frenzy. Just as the reign of Comedus was a turning point in the history of Rome, a turning point in the history of Rome, a turning point in the history of Rome, the assassination attempt of 182 was the the assassination attempt of 182 was the the assassination attempt of 182 was the turning point within the turning point. turning point within the turning point. turning point within the turning point. With the unnecessary and only partially With the unnecessary and only partially With the unnecessary and only partially true words, "This is what the Senate true words, "This is what the Senate true words, "This is what the Senate sends you," ringing in his ears. sends you," ringing in his ears. sends you," ringing in his ears. Cometus' attitude towards the Senate Cometus' attitude towards the Senate Cometus' attitude towards the Senate would take a homicidal turn for the would take a homicidal turn for the would take a homicidal turn for the worse. In the immediate aftermath of the worse. In the immediate aftermath of the worse. In the immediate aftermath of the botch plot, Claudius Pompeianis wisely botch plot, Claudius Pompeianis wisely botch plot, Claudius Pompeianis wisely retired from public retired from public retired from public life. Though he was not under suspicion, life. Though he was not under suspicion, life. Though he was not under suspicion, his wife and nephew had been prime his wife and nephew had been prime his wife and nephew had been prime movers in the attempt on the emperor's movers in the attempt on the emperor's movers in the attempt on the emperor's life. it was time for his long and life. it was time for his long and life. it was time for his long and distinguished career to come to an distinguished career to come to an distinguished career to come to an end. Typically in this situation, end. Typically in this situation, end. Typically in this situation, politicians cite the desire to spend politicians cite the desire to spend politicians cite the desire to spend more time with their families as the more time with their families as the more time with their families as the reason they are retiring. But obviously reason they are retiring. But obviously reason they are retiring. But obviously that would not have been the most that would not have been the most that would not have been the most prudent excuse given the circumstances.

prudent excuse given the circumstances. prudent excuse given the circumstances. So Pompeon is cited um poor eyesight. So Pompeon is cited um poor eyesight. So Pompeon is cited um poor eyesight. Yeah, that's the ticket instead. Yeah, that's the ticket instead. Yeah, that's the ticket instead. The rest of the fallout came when one of The rest of the fallout came when one of The rest of the fallout came when one of the Ptorian prefects, a ruthlessly the Ptorian prefects, a ruthlessly the Ptorian prefects, a ruthlessly ambitious equite named Toidius Penis, ambitious equite named Toidius Penis, ambitious equite named Toidius Penis, double crossed his Ptorian colleague and double crossed his Ptorian colleague and double crossed his Ptorian colleague and everyone else he knew who was involved everyone else he knew who was involved everyone else he knew who was involved in the in the in the plot. Keeping his own role hidden, the plot. Keeping his own role hidden, the plot. Keeping his own role hidden, the information Pannis provided led to the information Pannis provided led to the information Pannis provided led to the executions of his Ptorian colleague, two executions of his Ptorian colleague, two executions of his Ptorian colleague, two of the consils for the year, the of the consils for the year, the of the consils for the year, the secretary of correspondence, and the secretary of correspondence, and the secretary of correspondence, and the governor of Upper Germany, Salvius governor of Upper Germany, Salvius governor of Upper Germany, Salvius Giulianis. Giulianis. Giulianis. surviving with his head intact, but surviving with his head intact, but surviving with his head intact, but nonetheless removed from his post as the nonetheless removed from his post as the nonetheless removed from his post as the long-erving governor of Lower Germany, long-erving governor of Lower Germany, long-erving governor of Lower Germany, was Giulianis's cousin, Ddius Giulianis, was Giulianis's cousin, Ddius Giulianis, was Giulianis's cousin, Ddius Giulianis, who those of you who are reading ahead who those of you who are reading ahead who those of you who are reading ahead know that we'll have cause to deal with know that we'll have cause to deal with know that we'll have cause to deal with a little bit down the a little bit down the a little bit down the road. Also caught up in the purge were road. Also caught up in the purge were road. Also caught up in the purge were the famous Quintilius brothers, who had the famous Quintilius brothers, who had the famous Quintilius brothers, who had been key lieutenants of Marcus during been key lieutenants of Marcus during been key lieutenants of Marcus during the Marcomomanic Wars, and who, as a the Marcomomanic Wars, and who, as a the Marcomomanic Wars, and who, as a reward, had shared a console ship reward, had shared a console ship reward, had shared a console ship together.

together. together. His paranoia now raging unchecked, His paranoia now raging unchecked, His paranoia now raging unchecked, Comeodus fired the innocent and highly Comeodus fired the innocent and highly Comeodus fired the innocent and highly capable governor Septimius Severis and capable governor Septimius Severis and capable governor Septimius Severis and Pertinax for their failure to capture Pertinax for their failure to capture Pertinax for their failure to capture one of the conspirators who had gotten one of the conspirators who had gotten one of the conspirators who had gotten out of Rome alive. We'll have cause to out of Rome alive. We'll have cause to out of Rome alive. We'll have cause to deal with both of them down the road as deal with both of them down the road as deal with both of them down the road as well. The purge then extended to all of well. The purge then extended to all of well. The purge then extended to all of his father's old advisers and then to his father's old advisers and then to his father's old advisers and then to every legionary commander across the every legionary commander across the every legionary commander across the whole whole whole empire. Cometus fired every single one empire. Cometus fired every single one empire. Cometus fired every single one of them and replaced them with his own of them and replaced them with his own of them and replaced them with his own men. men. men. Back in Rome, anyone who raised the eye Back in Rome, anyone who raised the eye Back in Rome, anyone who raised the eye of the emperor, man, woman, or child, of the emperor, man, woman, or child, of the emperor, man, woman, or child, was likely to wind up murdered and their was likely to wind up murdered and their was likely to wind up murdered and their estates estates estates confiscated. All in all, the failed confiscated. All in all, the failed confiscated. All in all, the failed assassination attempt led the empire assassination attempt led the empire assassination attempt led the empire into the bloodiest round of purges since into the bloodiest round of purges since into the bloodiest round of purges since the end of Domission's reign. But the end of Domission's reign. But the end of Domission's reign. But really, not since the old, old days of really, not since the old, old days of really, not since the old, old days of Tiberius and Suganis had the aristocracy Tiberius and Suganis had the aristocracy Tiberius and Suganis had the aristocracy lived with such a cloud of fear hanging lived with such a cloud of fear hanging lived with such a cloud of fear hanging over their heads. Playing the part of Senus to Comedus' Playing the part of Senus to Comedus' Tiberius was the Arch Machavelian Tiberius was the Arch Machavelian Tiberius was the Arch Machavelian Perennis who had parlayed his insider Perennis who had parlayed his insider Perennis who had parlayed his insider information, information he had because information, information he had because information, information he had because he was, you know, totally in on the plot he was, you know, totally in on the plot he was, you know, totally in on the plot to kill Comeodus into the position of to kill Comeodus into the position of to kill Comeodus into the position of the emperor's right-hand the emperor's right-hand the emperor's right-hand man. Cometus handed over the day-to-day man. Cometus handed over the day-to-day man. Cometus handed over the day-to-day operations of the empire to Pannis. And operations of the empire to Pannis. And operations of the empire to Pannis. And for the next three years, while the for the next three years, while the for the next three years, while the emperor himself engaged in every emperor himself engaged in every emperor himself engaged in every debotched activity you think of when you debotched activity you think of when you debotched activity you think of when you think of debauched Roman aristocrats, think of debauched Roman aristocrats, think of debauched Roman aristocrats, Tegettius Penis was the man in

Tegettius Penis was the man in Tegettius Penis was the man in charge. When commodist did climb down charge. When commodist did climb down charge. When commodist did climb down into the real world of politics, it was into the real world of politics, it was into the real world of politics, it was mostly to humiliate some senator or mostly to humiliate some senator or mostly to humiliate some senator or rearrange the provincial postings to rearrange the provincial postings to rearrange the provincial postings to keep everyone on their keep everyone on their keep everyone on their toes. Beginning during this period, but toes. Beginning during this period, but toes. Beginning during this period, but not perfected until the fall of Penis not perfected until the fall of Penis not perfected until the fall of Penis and the rise of Cleander, who had and the rise of Cleander, who had and the rise of Cleander, who had recently been made Chamberlain to recently been made Chamberlain to recently been made Chamberlain to replace the assassinated Sataris, was replace the assassinated Sataris, was replace the assassinated Sataris, was the regular sale of office and the the regular sale of office and the the regular sale of office and the constant shuffling of office holders. constant shuffling of office holders. constant shuffling of office holders. Pis and Comeodus were in a way engaged Pis and Comeodus were in a way engaged Pis and Comeodus were in a way engaged in a friendly rivalry to see who could in a friendly rivalry to see who could in a friendly rivalry to see who could create the most political and create the most political and create the most political and bureaucratic chaos so that the dust bureaucratic chaos so that the dust bureaucratic chaos so that the dust would keep swirling and they themselves would keep swirling and they themselves would keep swirling and they themselves would remain safely cocooned in the would remain safely cocooned in the would remain safely cocooned in the center of the center of the center of the storm. Consil ships were bought and storm. Consil ships were bought and storm. Consil ships were bought and sold. Ptorian prefects were appointed sold. Ptorian prefects were appointed sold. Ptorian prefects were appointed and fired sometimes within the span of and fired sometimes within the span of and fired sometimes within the span of days. Governors were sent out to days. Governors were sent out to days. Governors were sent out to provinces and learned that they had been provinces and learned that they had been provinces and learned that they had been replaced when they arrived at their new replaced when they arrived at their new replaced when they arrived at their new posting. And most important of all, posting. And most important of all, posting. And most important of all, membership in the Senate was open to membership in the Senate was open to membership in the Senate was open to anyone who Comeodus favored, or perhaps anyone who Comeodus favored, or perhaps anyone who Comeodus favored, or perhaps more importantly, who the emperor more importantly, who the emperor more importantly, who the emperor thought the old senators would thought the old senators would thought the old senators would hate. The Empire was lucky during this hate. The Empire was lucky during this hate. The Empire was lucky during this chaotic period for two reasons. First, chaotic period for two reasons. First, chaotic period for two reasons. First, the borders were relatively peaceful.

the borders were relatively peaceful. the borders were relatively peaceful. The two groups who would have posed the The two groups who would have posed the The two groups who would have posed the biggest threat to the empire were the biggest threat to the empire were the biggest threat to the empire were the Parththeians and the Germans. And they Parththeians and the Germans. And they Parththeians and the Germans. And they had both been recently humbled by had both been recently humbled by had both been recently humbled by massive defeat at the hands of the massive defeat at the hands of the massive defeat at the hands of the legions and were not looking to make legions and were not looking to make legions and were not looking to make trouble again anytime trouble again anytime trouble again anytime soon. So even though Rome had become soon. So even though Rome had become soon. So even though Rome had become politically schizophrenic, no foreign politically schizophrenic, no foreign politically schizophrenic, no foreign enemy was ready to take advantage of the enemy was ready to take advantage of the enemy was ready to take advantage of the empire's empire's empire's madness. Second, though he was madness. Second, though he was madness. Second, though he was personally ruthless, Penis was no personally ruthless, Penis was no personally ruthless, Penis was no administrative slouch. He kept the grain administrative slouch. He kept the grain administrative slouch. He kept the grain flowing, the books balanced, and the flowing, the books balanced, and the flowing, the books balanced, and the games running. It all would have fallen games running. It all would have fallen games running. It all would have fallen apart much sooner had he been utterly apart much sooner had he been utterly apart much sooner had he been utterly corrupt or a dismal accountant, but he corrupt or a dismal accountant, but he corrupt or a dismal accountant, but he was neither, and so the empire, while was neither, and so the empire, while was neither, and so the empire, while not exactly flourishing, was not yet to not exactly flourishing, was not yet to not exactly flourishing, was not yet to be driven into the be driven into the be driven into the ground. But discontentment was stirring. ground. But discontentment was stirring. ground. But discontentment was stirring. In 183, a brief war in Deacia broke out In 183, a brief war in Deacia broke out In 183, a brief war in Deacia broke out that was put down by a combined effort that was put down by a combined effort that was put down by a combined effort of the final two of the five wouldbe of the final two of the five wouldbe of the final two of the five wouldbe emperors in the fast approaching year of emperors in the fast approaching year of emperors in the fast approaching year of the five emperors, Claudius Albinus, and the five emperors, Claudius Albinus, and the five emperors, Claudius Albinus, and Pescanius Niger. The other three being Pescanius Niger. The other three being Pescanius Niger. The other three being the aforementioned Pertinax, Dius the aforementioned Pertinax, Dius the aforementioned Pertinax, Dius Giulianis, and Septimius Severis.

Giulianis, and Septimius Severis. Giulianis, and Septimius Severis. The next year, unrest in Britain led the The next year, unrest in Britain led the The next year, unrest in Britain led the commander there to press north and commander there to press north and commander there to press north and retake the Antonine wall, which had been retake the Antonine wall, which had been retake the Antonine wall, which had been abandoned around the time of Marcus' abandoned around the time of Marcus' abandoned around the time of Marcus' ascension. The general in question, ascension. The general in question, ascension. The general in question, though, was a harsh disciplinarian who though, was a harsh disciplinarian who though, was a harsh disciplinarian who the regular troops hated. And following the regular troops hated. And following the regular troops hated. And following the campaign, they revolted against his the campaign, they revolted against his the campaign, they revolted against his leadership and proclaimed another leadership and proclaimed another leadership and proclaimed another commander commander commander emperor. This commander wisely refused emperor. This commander wisely refused emperor. This commander wisely refused the honor and got the troops back under the honor and got the troops back under the honor and got the troops back under control for the moment. But the next control for the moment. But the next control for the moment. But the next year, rebellion among the British year, rebellion among the British year, rebellion among the British legions flared up once legions flared up once legions flared up once again. This time their eye was directed again. This time their eye was directed again. This time their eye was directed at Paris himself, who they blamed for at Paris himself, who they blamed for at Paris himself, who they blamed for being late with equipment, stingy with being late with equipment, stingy with being late with equipment, stingy with pay, and saddling them with harsh pay, and saddling them with harsh pay, and saddling them with harsh masters who would not indulge the lacks masters who would not indulge the lacks masters who would not indulge the lacks atmosphere they had come to atmosphere they had come to atmosphere they had come to expect. In a sign of things to come, expect. In a sign of things to come, expect. In a sign of things to come, that is the failure of discipline that that is the failure of discipline that that is the failure of discipline that would soon become an epidemic in the would soon become an epidemic in the would soon become an epidemic in the legions, a deputation of 1500 armed legions, a deputation of 1500 armed legions, a deputation of 1500 armed soldiers marched out of Britain for soldiers marched out of Britain for soldiers marched out of Britain for Rome, where they plan to present their Rome, where they plan to present their Rome, where they plan to present their grievances to the emperor in grievances to the emperor in grievances to the emperor in person. Missing the greater point of the person. Missing the greater point of the person. Missing the greater point of the president he was endorsing, Commodus president he was endorsing, Commodus president he was endorsing, Commodus allowed the rogue company to enter Italy allowed the rogue company to enter Italy allowed the rogue company to enter Italy and march on Rome armed to the teeth.

and march on Rome armed to the teeth. and march on Rome armed to the teeth. Hearing the news that this force from Hearing the news that this force from Hearing the news that this force from Britain was on the way, the Imperial Britain was on the way, the Imperial Britain was on the way, the Imperial Chamberlain Cleander saw the perfect Chamberlain Cleander saw the perfect Chamberlain Cleander saw the perfect opportunity to make his own Machavelian opportunity to make his own Machavelian opportunity to make his own Machavelian strike. With the help of some strike. With the help of some strike. With the help of some dissatisfied senators, Cleander set dissatisfied senators, Cleander set dissatisfied senators, Cleander set about trumping up charges against Penis about trumping up charges against Penis about trumping up charges against Penis that seemed to show he was aiming to that seemed to show he was aiming to that seemed to show he was aiming to make either himself or his son emperor make either himself or his son emperor make either himself or his son emperor at some point in the not too distant at some point in the not too distant at some point in the not too distant future. When the soldiers from Britain future. When the soldiers from Britain future. When the soldiers from Britain arrived to present their case, Poris was arrived to present their case, Poris was arrived to present their case, Poris was confident that he would be able to confident that he would be able to confident that he would be able to dispatch them with ease. But at the same dispatch them with ease. But at the same dispatch them with ease. But at the same moment, Cleander was presenting Comeodus moment, Cleander was presenting Comeodus moment, Cleander was presenting Comeodus with the allegation that Penis was with the allegation that Penis was with the allegation that Penis was planning on overthrowing planning on overthrowing planning on overthrowing him. Having hit the emperor's paranoid him. Having hit the emperor's paranoid him. Having hit the emperor's paranoid center right where it hurt, Commodus center right where it hurt, Commodus center right where it hurt, Commodus suddenly turned on the blindsided Pannis suddenly turned on the blindsided Pannis suddenly turned on the blindsided Pannis and ordered his former favorite and his and ordered his former favorite and his and ordered his former favorite and his entire family executed. entire family executed. entire family executed. Cleander then dutifully led the emperor Cleander then dutifully led the emperor Cleander then dutifully led the emperor through the list of senators who were through the list of senators who were through the list of senators who were involved in the trumped up plot. involved in the trumped up plot. involved in the trumped up plot. Conveniently, they were all personal Conveniently, they were all personal Conveniently, they were all personal enemies of Cleander, and the aristocracy enemies of Cleander, and the aristocracy enemies of Cleander, and the aristocracy was once again caught up in a bloody was once again caught up in a bloody was once again caught up in a bloody purge, already the second of Comedus' purge, already the second of Comedus' purge, already the second of Comedus' short reign. The fall of Penis would send the reign. The fall of Penis would send the empire off a cliff. Because while the empire off a cliff. Because while the empire off a cliff. Because while the old Ptorian prefect had been a capable old Ptorian prefect had been a capable old Ptorian prefect had been a capable administrator, his replacement as administrator, his replacement as administrator, his replacement as imperial favorite Cleander was nothing imperial favorite Cleander was nothing imperial favorite Cleander was nothing of the of the of the sort. Next week, the wheels will come sort. Next week, the wheels will come sort. Next week, the wheels will come off the off the off the bus. The art of creating bureaucratic bus. The art of creating bureaucratic bus. The art of creating bureaucratic chaos for fun and profit will be

chaos for fun and profit will be chaos for fun and profit will be perfected by Cleander, who will run the perfected by Cleander, who will run the perfected by Cleander, who will run the empire, if you could even call it that, empire, if you could even call it that, empire, if you could even call it that, for 5 years. While Comeodus drifted for 5 years. While Comeodus drifted for 5 years. While Comeodus drifted further off into his own private fantasy further off into his own private fantasy further off into his own private fantasy land, Cleander will finally be eaten by land, Cleander will finally be eaten by land, Cleander will finally be eaten by the monster he creates. And Comeodus, the monster he creates. And Comeodus, the monster he creates. And Comeodus, now nearing his 30s, will be forced to now nearing his 30s, will be forced to now nearing his 30s, will be forced to step in and actually do some real step in and actually do some real step in and actually do some real governing. But by this time, he was governing. But by this time, he was governing. But by this time, he was convinced not only that he was the convinced not only that he was the convinced not only that he was the reincarnation of Hercules, but also that reincarnation of Hercules, but also that reincarnation of Hercules, but also that he was the greatest gladiator who ever he was the greatest gladiator who ever he was the greatest gladiator who ever lived. So, it's not like he brought a lived. So, it's not like he brought a lived. So, it's not like he brought a lot of stability to the situation. lot of stability to the situation. lot of stability to the situation. Like the mission before him, Cometus Like the mission before him, Cometus Like the mission before him, Cometus would eventually be done in by members would eventually be done in by members would eventually be done in by members of his own inner circle who were worried of his own inner circle who were worried of his own inner circle who were worried that they were about to be caught up in that they were about to be caught up in that they were about to be caught up in yet another round of yet another round of yet another round of purges. His assassination on New Year's purges. His assassination on New Year's purges. His assassination on New Year's Eve 192 will spark the first great Eve 192 will spark the first great Eve 192 will spark the first great domestic crisis since the year of the domestic crisis since the year of the domestic crisis since the year of the four emperors. And 193 AD will go down four emperors. And 193 AD will go down four emperors. And 193 AD will go down in history with a nice little nod to in history with a nice little nod to in history with a nice little nod to inflation as the year of the five inflation as the year of the five inflation as the year of the five emperors.

emperors. emperors. [Music] Hello. Hello. and welcome to the history of realm and welcome to the history of realm and welcome to the history of realm episode 97, the fall of episode 97, the fall of episode 97, the fall of Hercules. Okay, so last time Maximus was Hercules. Okay, so last time Maximus was Hercules. Okay, so last time Maximus was totally framed by walking Phoenix. And totally framed by walking Phoenix. And totally framed by walking Phoenix. And even though he was able to escape his even though he was able to escape his even though he was able to escape his own execution and make it back to his own execution and make it back to his own execution and make it back to his estates in Spain, the fugitive general estates in Spain, the fugitive general estates in Spain, the fugitive general was eventually captured by slave was eventually captured by slave was eventually captured by slave traders, but not before learning that traders, but not before learning that traders, but not before learning that walkin Phoenix had murdered his entire walkin Phoenix had murdered his entire walkin Phoenix had murdered his entire family. family. family. this week. Now a gladiator, Maximus must this week. Now a gladiator, Maximus must this week. Now a gladiator, Maximus must fight or die in the arena and maybe fight or die in the arena and maybe fight or die in the arena and maybe hopefully one day have his hopefully one day have his hopefully one day have his revenge. Okay, not really. There was no revenge. Okay, not really. There was no revenge. Okay, not really. There was no Maximus. The non-existent Maximus did Maximus. The non-existent Maximus did Maximus. The non-existent Maximus did not kill Cometus in single combat, and not kill Cometus in single combat, and not kill Cometus in single combat, and that certainly did not lead to a great that certainly did not lead to a great that certainly did not lead to a great restoration of the Republic. Good movie, restoration of the Republic. Good movie, restoration of the Republic. Good movie, though. And funny enough, the bit about though. And funny enough, the bit about though. And funny enough, the bit about Cometus fighting as a gladiator was no Cometus fighting as a gladiator was no Cometus fighting as a gladiator was no joke. And if anything, the movie joke. And if anything, the movie joke. And if anything, the movie actually downplayed the emperor's obsession. Following the purges that

obsession. Following the purges that surrounded the fall of Penis, the surrounded the fall of Penis, the surrounded the fall of Penis, the Imperial Chamberlain Cleander rose to Imperial Chamberlain Cleander rose to Imperial Chamberlain Cleander rose to power and along with a circle of corrupt power and along with a circle of corrupt power and along with a circle of corrupt and decadent allies, Cleander ran the and decadent allies, Cleander ran the and decadent allies, Cleander ran the empire for his own benefit from 185 to empire for his own benefit from 185 to empire for his own benefit from 185 to 190 190 190 AD. During those years, Commus withdrew AD. During those years, Commus withdrew AD. During those years, Commus withdrew even further from the real world. And even further from the real world. And even further from the real world. And when not drinking or dabbling in his when not drinking or dabbling in his when not drinking or dabbling in his harum or sitting in the baths, he spent harum or sitting in the baths, he spent harum or sitting in the baths, he spent the majority of his free time training the majority of his free time training the majority of his free time training to be a to be a to be a gladiator. The emperor's obsession with gladiator. The emperor's obsession with gladiator. The emperor's obsession with gladatorial combat dated back to his gladatorial combat dated back to his gladatorial combat dated back to his childhood and was the centerpiece of childhood and was the centerpiece of childhood and was the centerpiece of that reputation I talked about earlier, that reputation I talked about earlier, that reputation I talked about earlier, the one Marcus hoped Cometus would the one Marcus hoped Cometus would the one Marcus hoped Cometus would eventually eventually eventually outgrow. But rather than outgrow it, outgrow. But rather than outgrow it, outgrow. But rather than outgrow it, Comeodus let it grow with him. Comeodus let it grow with him. Comeodus let it grow with him. Disinterested in the real work of Disinterested in the real work of Disinterested in the real work of soldiering, Cometus was fascinated with soldiering, Cometus was fascinated with soldiering, Cometus was fascinated with the staged fights of the arena and from the staged fights of the arena and from the staged fights of the arena and from very early on aspired to join the very early on aspired to join the very early on aspired to join the pantheon of gladatorial pantheon of gladatorial pantheon of gladatorial gods. Now an emperor and with no one to gods. Now an emperor and with no one to gods. Now an emperor and with no one to stop him, he let this ambition off its stop him, he let this ambition off its stop him, he let this ambition off its leash. Now in the Roman social leash. Now in the Roman social leash. Now in the Roman social hierarchy, an emperor was at the very hierarchy, an emperor was at the very hierarchy, an emperor was at the very tippy top of the pyramid and a gladiator tippy top of the pyramid and a gladiator tippy top of the pyramid and a gladiator was in the sub subb down with the was in the sub subb down with the was in the sub subb down with the prostitutes and the actors. A free prostitutes and the actors. A free prostitutes and the actors. A free citizen fighting in the arena was citizen fighting in the arena was citizen fighting in the arena was unsemly. An equite fighting was unsemly. An equite fighting was unsemly. An equite fighting was scandalous. A senator fighting was a scandalous. A senator fighting was a scandalous. A senator fighting was a barely conceivable horror. An emperor barely conceivable horror. An emperor barely conceivable horror. An emperor fighting as a gladiator, well, that fighting as a gladiator, well, that fighting as a gladiator, well, that would be the equivalent of the president would be the equivalent of the president would be the equivalent of the president turning up one morning in a turning up one morning in a turning up one morning in a crackdown. Cometus cared not a wit about

crackdown. Cometus cared not a wit about crackdown. Cometus cared not a wit about the social taboos, though. He wanted to the social taboos, though. He wanted to the social taboos, though. He wanted to stand over 10,000 dead opponents and stand over 10,000 dead opponents and stand over 10,000 dead opponents and bask in the adoration of the crowd. bask in the adoration of the crowd. bask in the adoration of the crowd. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else mattered. At first, he confined himself to private At first, he confined himself to private At first, he confined himself to private contests, but as he grew more confident contests, but as he grew more confident contests, but as he grew more confident in his abilities, the emperor started in his abilities, the emperor started in his abilities, the emperor started naming himself the headline attraction naming himself the headline attraction naming himself the headline attraction for the all too frequent games thrown for the all too frequent games thrown for the all too frequent games thrown during his during his during his reign. Now, Commodus was no sloucher. He reign. Now, Commodus was no sloucher. He reign. Now, Commodus was no sloucher. He was young and athletic and seems to have was young and athletic and seems to have was young and athletic and seems to have taken his training seriously. He was an taken his training seriously. He was an taken his training seriously. He was an excellent shot and handy with every kind excellent shot and handy with every kind excellent shot and handy with every kind of weapon imaginable. But there's no of weapon imaginable. But there's no of weapon imaginable. But there's no getting around the fact that he never getting around the fact that he never getting around the fact that he never did fight a fair fight. Obviously, you did fight a fair fight. Obviously, you did fight a fair fight. Obviously, you can't have the emperor going out there can't have the emperor going out there can't have the emperor going out there and getting killed by some random slave. and getting killed by some random slave. and getting killed by some random slave. So, cometus typically fought pre-wounded So, cometus typically fought pre-wounded So, cometus typically fought pre-wounded opponents or more commonly opponents who opponents or more commonly opponents who opponents or more commonly opponents who had been given a lead sword to match up had been given a lead sword to match up had been given a lead sword to match up against the emperor sharpened against the emperor sharpened against the emperor sharpened steel. These widely known secrets of the steel. These widely known secrets of the steel. These widely known secrets of the emperor's success made all his boasting emperor's success made all his boasting emperor's success made all his boasting about what a great warrior he was about what a great warrior he was about what a great warrior he was ringing a bit hollow. And far from ringing a bit hollow. And far from ringing a bit hollow. And far from elevating his reputation, it made him elevating his reputation, it made him elevating his reputation, it made him the object of persistent, if private the object of persistent, if private the object of persistent, if private mockery.

mockery. mockery. Adding a malevolent edge to his somewhat Adding a malevolent edge to his somewhat Adding a malevolent edge to his somewhat ridiculous displays of alleged ridiculous displays of alleged ridiculous displays of alleged gladatorial prowess was the fact that gladatorial prowess was the fact that gladatorial prowess was the fact that Cometus took particular delight in Cometus took particular delight in Cometus took particular delight in killing anything that seemed killing anything that seemed killing anything that seemed freakish. He would bring in midgets so freakish. He would bring in midgets so freakish. He would bring in midgets so he could pretend to be a mighty giant. he could pretend to be a mighty giant. he could pretend to be a mighty giant. He would bring in amputees and watch He would bring in amputees and watch He would bring in amputees and watch them hobble around feebly as he toyed them hobble around feebly as he toyed them hobble around feebly as he toyed with them. And at times he would put his with them. And at times he would put his with them. And at times he would put his surgical skills to the test and slowly surgical skills to the test and slowly surgical skills to the test and slowly dismember victims while avoiding major dismember victims while avoiding major dismember victims while avoiding major arteries. His most famous routine, arteries. His most famous routine, arteries. His most famous routine, though, was the hunt. And in addition to though, was the hunt. And in addition to though, was the hunt. And in addition to the old reoccurring line about having the old reoccurring line about having the old reoccurring line about having slain a h 100 lions in a single day, he slain a h 100 lions in a single day, he slain a h 100 lions in a single day, he was fond of bringing in exotic oddities, was fond of bringing in exotic oddities, was fond of bringing in exotic oddities, ostriches, giraffes, elephants, and the ostriches, giraffes, elephants, and the ostriches, giraffes, elephants, and the like, and felling them with a few like, and felling them with a few like, and felling them with a few wellplaced wellplaced wellplaced arrows. For a long time, the masses got arrows. For a long time, the masses got arrows. For a long time, the masses got a kick out of the ludicrous novelty of a kick out of the ludicrous novelty of a kick out of the ludicrous novelty of watching the emperor do horrible things watching the emperor do horrible things watching the emperor do horrible things to handicapped opponents, but the to handicapped opponents, but the to handicapped opponents, but the novelty eventually wore off. novelty eventually wore off. novelty eventually wore off. for members of the Senate. Meanwhile, at for members of the Senate. Meanwhile, at for members of the Senate. Meanwhile, at least the non-communistappointed members least the non-communistappointed members least the non-communistappointed members of the Senate anyway, there never was of the Senate anyway, there never was of the Senate anyway, there never was any novelty to begin with. The whole any novelty to begin with. The whole any novelty to begin with. The whole spectacle was an affront to the dignity spectacle was an affront to the dignity spectacle was an affront to the dignity of the emperor, the senators themselves, of the emperor, the senators themselves, of the emperor, the senators themselves, and the empire at and the empire at and the empire at large. Cometus suspected that if given a large. Cometus suspected that if given a large. Cometus suspected that if given a chance, his friends and colleagues in chance, his friends and colleagues in chance, his friends and colleagues in the Senate would find other places to be the Senate would find other places to be the Senate would find other places to be on game day. So, he made attendance at on game day. So, he made attendance at on game day. So, he made attendance at his performances mandatory. That is one his performances mandatory. That is one his performances mandatory. That is one of the quickest ways to find yourself on of the quickest ways to find yourself on of the quickest ways to find yourself on the emperor's hit list was to call in the emperor's hit list was to call in the emperor's hit list was to call in sick to the

sick to the sick to the coliseum. And when you found yourself on coliseum. And when you found yourself on coliseum. And when you found yourself on the emperor's hit list, it wasn't like the emperor's hit list, it wasn't like the emperor's hit list, it wasn't like he just didn't invite you to dinner or he just didn't invite you to dinner or he just didn't invite you to dinner or something. No, that meant that charges something. No, that meant that charges something. No, that meant that charges of treason, property confiscation, and of treason, property confiscation, and of treason, property confiscation, and execution were right around the corner. execution were right around the corner. execution were right around the corner. So, the senators went and watched the So, the senators went and watched the So, the senators went and watched the emperor club cripples to death. Really, emperor club cripples to death. Really, emperor club cripples to death. Really, the whole thing was just cruel, the whole thing was just cruel, the whole thing was just cruel, pathetic, and pathetic, and pathetic, and sad. Meanwhile, the empire continued to sad. Meanwhile, the empire continued to sad. Meanwhile, the empire continued to plunge unchecked towards a systemwide plunge unchecked towards a systemwide plunge unchecked towards a systemwide failure. The legions, upon whom Comeodus failure. The legions, upon whom Comeodus failure. The legions, upon whom Comeodus was in part resting the legitimacy of was in part resting the legitimacy of was in part resting the legitimacy of his reign, were beginning to slip away his reign, were beginning to slip away his reign, were beginning to slip away from him. At first, their eyeire was from him. At first, their eyeire was from him. At first, their eyeire was directed at the emperor's favorites, directed at the emperor's favorites, directed at the emperor's favorites, like Penis. But as their dissatisfaction like Penis. But as their dissatisfaction like Penis. But as their dissatisfaction mounted, communist began to become an mounted, communist began to become an mounted, communist began to become an object of their anger as well. object of their anger as well. object of their anger as well. Cometus had dispatched Pertinax to Cometus had dispatched Pertinax to Cometus had dispatched Pertinax to Britain which had been a recent hotb of Britain which had been a recent hotb of Britain which had been a recent hotb of insubordination with instructions to get insubordination with instructions to get insubordination with instructions to get the situation there back in the situation there back in the situation there back in hand. Pertinax was an old soldier who hand. Pertinax was an old soldier who hand. Pertinax was an old soldier who had earned his name and reputation had earned his name and reputation had earned his name and reputation putting out Rome's fires across the putting out Rome's fires across the putting out Rome's fires across the empire. And when he got to Britain, it empire. And when he got to Britain, it empire. And when he got to Britain, it did not take long for him to be embraced did not take long for him to be embraced did not take long for him to be embraced by the hair24 rebellious troops.

by the hair24 rebellious troops. by the hair24 rebellious troops. But at this point in the history of the But at this point in the history of the But at this point in the history of the empire, being embraced by the troops was empire, being embraced by the troops was empire, being embraced by the troops was a dangerous proposition. So when the a dangerous proposition. So when the a dangerous proposition. So when the British legions got together and decided British legions got together and decided British legions got together and decided to hail Pertinax their new emperor, to hail Pertinax their new emperor, to hail Pertinax their new emperor, Pertinax outright Pertinax outright Pertinax outright refused. Deeply unsettled by the refused. Deeply unsettled by the refused. Deeply unsettled by the position he found himself in, he wrote position he found himself in, he wrote position he found himself in, he wrote to comeus requesting immediate to comeus requesting immediate to comeus requesting immediate reassignment. reassignment. reassignment. Now, you would think the fact that the Now, you would think the fact that the Now, you would think the fact that the British legions kept trying to declare British legions kept trying to declare British legions kept trying to declare new emperors would have led to some sort new emperors would have led to some sort new emperors would have led to some sort of imperial action, but apparently of imperial action, but apparently of imperial action, but apparently Comeodus and at this point Cleander Comeodus and at this point Cleander Comeodus and at this point Cleander vastly underestimated the severity of vastly underestimated the severity of vastly underestimated the severity of the the the situation. Soon enough though, they situation. Soon enough though, they situation. Soon enough though, they would no longer be able to ignore it. would no longer be able to ignore it. would no longer be able to ignore it. In 186, a charismatic army deserter in In 186, a charismatic army deserter in In 186, a charismatic army deserter in Gaul named Maternus began to round up a Gaul named Maternus began to round up a Gaul named Maternus began to round up a mly crew of followers consisting of mly crew of followers consisting of mly crew of followers consisting of fellow deserters, ex-soldiers, and fellow deserters, ex-soldiers, and fellow deserters, ex-soldiers, and briggins. At first, they were concerned briggins. At first, they were concerned briggins. At first, they were concerned mostly with raiding the countryside for mostly with raiding the countryside for mostly with raiding the countryside for their own enrichment. But eventually, their own enrichment. But eventually, their own enrichment. But eventually, after more and more men flocked to his after more and more men flocked to his after more and more men flocked to his banner, Maternis began to think of banner, Maternis began to think of banner, Maternis began to think of himself as the second coming of himself as the second coming of himself as the second coming of Spartacus. His force grew to the point Spartacus. His force grew to the point Spartacus. His force grew to the point that raids on towns turned into sieges that raids on towns turned into sieges that raids on towns turned into sieges of small cities. He led his men back and of small cities. He led his men back and of small cities. He led his men back and forth across the Pyrenees, causing havoc forth across the Pyrenees, causing havoc forth across the Pyrenees, causing havoc in the undergarrison portions of Spain in the undergarrison portions of Spain in the undergarrison portions of Spain and Gaul before finally the powers that and Gaul before finally the powers that and Gaul before finally the powers that be realized that there was a renegade be realized that there was a renegade be realized that there was a renegade army running loose within the empire.

army running loose within the empire. army running loose within the empire. The response to this brief uprising, The response to this brief uprising, The response to this brief uprising, sometimes called the Desertters War, was sometimes called the Desertters War, was sometimes called the Desertters War, was spearheaded by Pascanius Niger, who was spearheaded by Pascanius Niger, who was spearheaded by Pascanius Niger, who was finally able to confront Maternus' force finally able to confront Maternus' force finally able to confront Maternus' force and defeat it in open and defeat it in open and defeat it in open battle. But undeterred, in March of 187, battle. But undeterred, in March of 187, battle. But undeterred, in March of 187, Maternis regrouped with a core of Maternis regrouped with a core of Maternis regrouped with a core of supporters and headed south into supporters and headed south into supporters and headed south into Italy. The plan now was to infiltrate Italy. The plan now was to infiltrate Italy. The plan now was to infiltrate Rome during an upcoming festival, get Rome during an upcoming festival, get Rome during an upcoming festival, get close to the emperor, and assassinate close to the emperor, and assassinate close to the emperor, and assassinate him. him. him. The plot was not as outlandish as it The plot was not as outlandish as it The plot was not as outlandish as it sounds. The festival involved citizens sounds. The festival involved citizens sounds. The festival involved citizens of every class putting on costumes and of every class putting on costumes and of every class putting on costumes and partying in the partying in the partying in the streets. Maternis managed to secure some streets. Maternis managed to secure some streets. Maternis managed to secure some Ptorian guard uniforms and figured that Ptorian guard uniforms and figured that Ptorian guard uniforms and figured that with everyone, including the guard, with everyone, including the guard, with everyone, including the guard, getting good and drunk in an atmosphere getting good and drunk in an atmosphere getting good and drunk in an atmosphere of shifting identities that he might of shifting identities that he might of shifting identities that he might just be able to bluff his way into the just be able to bluff his way into the just be able to bluff his way into the Imperial entourage. Imperial entourage. Imperial entourage. But before the conspiracy got off the But before the conspiracy got off the But before the conspiracy got off the ground, Maternus was betrayed by one of ground, Maternus was betrayed by one of ground, Maternus was betrayed by one of his followers over some personal slight, his followers over some personal slight, his followers over some personal slight, and the assassins were all rounded up and the assassins were all rounded up and the assassins were all rounded up and executed. The already paranoid commodist executed. The already paranoid commodist was driven further around the bend by was driven further around the bend by was driven further around the bend by the revelation that his life had been the revelation that his life had been the revelation that his life had been saved, not by the fact that his saved, not by the fact that his saved, not by the fact that his bodyguards were so super great at their bodyguards were so super great at their bodyguards were so super great at their jobs, but because the conspiracy had jobs, but because the conspiracy had jobs, but because the conspiracy had been betrayed by a disgruntled been betrayed by a disgruntled been betrayed by a disgruntled ex-member.

ex-member. ex-member. Further compounding his agitation was a Further compounding his agitation was a Further compounding his agitation was a note passed along by Pertinax that one note passed along by Pertinax that one note passed along by Pertinax that one of Comeodus' brothers-in-law and a few of Comeodus' brothers-in-law and a few of Comeodus' brothers-in-law and a few other senators were gathering support other senators were gathering support other senators were gathering support for their own assassination for their own assassination for their own assassination attempt. It seems that Pertinax thought attempt. It seems that Pertinax thought attempt. It seems that Pertinax thought the chances of the conspirators dim and the chances of the conspirators dim and the chances of the conspirators dim and so decided to make double sure that he so decided to make double sure that he so decided to make double sure that he wasn't implicated in the plot and wasn't implicated in the plot and wasn't implicated in the plot and alerted the emperor after he himself was alerted the emperor after he himself was alerted the emperor after he himself was invited to invited to invited to join. From this point on, Comeodus was join. From this point on, Comeodus was join. From this point on, Comeodus was rendered practically inert. rendered practically inert. rendered practically inert. He never left the safe confines of the He never left the safe confines of the He never left the safe confines of the palace or if he wasn't in Rome the palace or if he wasn't in Rome the palace or if he wasn't in Rome the safety of his country safety of his country safety of his country villas. The only public appearances he villas. The only public appearances he villas. The only public appearances he made for the rest of his reign were when made for the rest of his reign were when made for the rest of his reign were when he performed as a gladiator. Seemingly he performed as a gladiator. Seemingly he performed as a gladiator. Seemingly the only time that he actually felt safe the only time that he actually felt safe the only time that he actually felt safe and comfortable. But though Comeodus was a comfortable. But though Comeodus was a publicly invisible emperor, he was still publicly invisible emperor, he was still publicly invisible emperor, he was still a force to be reckoned with in private a force to be reckoned with in private a force to be reckoned with in private and not in a good way at and not in a good way at and not in a good way at all. With Pannis as his colleague, all. With Pannis as his colleague, all. With Pannis as his colleague, Commodus had taken a shine to debasing Commodus had taken a shine to debasing Commodus had taken a shine to debasing the Senate, making erratic bureaucratic the Senate, making erratic bureaucratic the Senate, making erratic bureaucratic appointments, and doing whatever he appointments, and doing whatever he appointments, and doing whatever he could to personally humiliate individual could to personally humiliate individual could to personally humiliate individual members of the members of the members of the aristocracy. But now, with Cleander as aristocracy. But now, with Cleander as aristocracy. But now, with Cleander as his partner in crime, everything was his partner in crime, everything was his partner in crime, everything was ratcheted up a couple of notches.

ratcheted up a couple of notches. ratcheted up a couple of notches. Cleander made a fortune selling offices, Cleander made a fortune selling offices, Cleander made a fortune selling offices, membership in the Senate, and plum membership in the Senate, and plum membership in the Senate, and plum overseas appointments, while Comeodus overseas appointments, while Comeodus overseas appointments, while Comeodus encouraged his freedman to harass encouraged his freedman to harass encouraged his freedman to harass senators, confiscate their property, and senators, confiscate their property, and senators, confiscate their property, and when the mood struck him, murder them. when the mood struck him, murder them. when the mood struck him, murder them. Further compounding the mockery they Further compounding the mockery they Further compounding the mockery they were making of the government was the were making of the government was the were making of the government was the fact that the two men actually spent fact that the two men actually spent fact that the two men actually spent very little time thinking about the very little time thinking about the very little time thinking about the government and chose instead to focus on government and chose instead to focus on government and chose instead to focus on exploring the vast and wide depths of exploring the vast and wide depths of exploring the vast and wide depths of sexual sexual sexual depravity. I won't go into the details depravity. I won't go into the details depravity. I won't go into the details because hey this is a family podcast but because hey this is a family podcast but because hey this is a family podcast but suffice it to say that there was some suffice it to say that there was some suffice it to say that there was some pretty brutal stuff going on at the pretty brutal stuff going on at the pretty brutal stuff going on at the palace and not at all behind closed palace and not at all behind closed palace and not at all behind closed doors. In mid 187, Cleander took the lead in a In mid 187, Cleander took the lead in a new round of purges. This one aimed at new round of purges. This one aimed at new round of purges. This one aimed at anyone connected to the conspiracy anyone connected to the conspiracy anyone connected to the conspiracy Pertinax had decided to Pertinax had decided to Pertinax had decided to expose. Luckily for Cleander, the expose. Luckily for Cleander, the expose. Luckily for Cleander, the families involved were also personal families involved were also personal families involved were also personal enemies who represented the last real enemies who represented the last real enemies who represented the last real organized threat to his power. So off organized threat to his power. So off organized threat to his power. So off with all their with all their with all their heads. This latest round of political heads. This latest round of political heads. This latest round of political murders is further notable for sweeping murders is further notable for sweeping murders is further notable for sweeping up the Empress Crispina along with up the Empress Crispina along with up the Empress Crispina along with everyone else.

everyone else. everyone else. It doesn't look like she was in any way It doesn't look like she was in any way It doesn't look like she was in any way involved in the plot, but rather that involved in the plot, but rather that involved in the plot, but rather that she simply fell victim to the whims of a she simply fell victim to the whims of a she simply fell victim to the whims of a probably sociopathic emperor who had probably sociopathic emperor who had probably sociopathic emperor who had grown tired of his grown tired of his grown tired of his wife. Bad enough that she was exiled and wife. Bad enough that she was exiled and wife. Bad enough that she was exiled and then killed, but her crime, the one so then killed, but her crime, the one so then killed, but her crime, the one so heinous that she was exiled and killed heinous that she was exiled and killed heinous that she was exiled and killed for it, was simply being caught up for it, was simply being caught up for it, was simply being caught up engaging in an extrammarital affair. You engaging in an extrammarital affair. You engaging in an extrammarital affair. You know, the kind her husband had engaged know, the kind her husband had engaged know, the kind her husband had engaged in every single day of their marriage. in every single day of their marriage. in every single day of their marriage. Stay classy either further solidified his grip on either further solidified his grip on power by creating a new office that power by creating a new office that power by creating a new office that superseded the two Ptorian prefects, superseded the two Ptorian prefects, superseded the two Ptorian prefects, effectively putting him in charge of the effectively putting him in charge of the effectively putting him in charge of the emperor's secret emperor's secret emperor's secret police. Up to this point, Cleander had police. Up to this point, Cleander had police. Up to this point, Cleander had controlled the guard much as Pis had by controlled the guard much as Pis had by controlled the guard much as Pis had by constantly hiring and firing the constantly hiring and firing the constantly hiring and firing the prefects so none of them could create prefects so none of them could create prefects so none of them could create enduring loyalty within the ranks. But enduring loyalty within the ranks. But enduring loyalty within the ranks. But having finally set the record by having finally set the record by having finally set the record by allowing one poor appointee to remain in allowing one poor appointee to remain in allowing one poor appointee to remain in office a mere 6 hours, Cleander finally office a mere 6 hours, Cleander finally office a mere 6 hours, Cleander finally decided that this was maybe getting a decided that this was maybe getting a decided that this was maybe getting a little ridiculous, that there needed to little ridiculous, that there needed to little ridiculous, that there needed to be some kind of institutional stability.

be some kind of institutional stability. be some kind of institutional stability. What if the guard actually needed to do What if the guard actually needed to do What if the guard actually needed to do something? So he invented a new office, something? So he invented a new office, something? So he invented a new office, assumed it, and then ran the Ptorians himself. At this point, it seemed like himself. At this point, it seemed like things would go on like this forever. things would go on like this forever. things would go on like this forever. Cleander had a strangle hold on Rome. Cleander had a strangle hold on Rome. Cleander had a strangle hold on Rome. The enemies of the new imperial order The enemies of the new imperial order The enemies of the new imperial order were all dead or exiled, and Commodus were all dead or exiled, and Commodus were all dead or exiled, and Commodus cared only about chariot racing, sitting cared only about chariot racing, sitting cared only about chariot racing, sitting in the baths, and gladatorial in the baths, and gladatorial in the baths, and gladatorial combat. The Empire was slowly being combat. The Empire was slowly being combat. The Empire was slowly being driven into the ground. But anyone in a driven into the ground. But anyone in a driven into the ground. But anyone in a position to actually do anything about position to actually do anything about position to actually do anything about it were the ones already behind the it were the ones already behind the it were the ones already behind the wheel and doing said driving. wheel and doing said driving. wheel and doing said driving. But as so often happens in these sorts But as so often happens in these sorts But as so often happens in these sorts of bloodily tyrannical quasi police of bloodily tyrannical quasi police of bloodily tyrannical quasi police states, one minute you're up and the states, one minute you're up and the states, one minute you're up and the next minute you're being airbrushed out next minute you're being airbrushed out next minute you're being airbrushed out of that photo of you and Stalin enjoying of that photo of you and Stalin enjoying of that photo of you and Stalin enjoying a nice glass of vodka a nice glass of vodka a nice glass of vodka together. For Cleander, the end came in together. For Cleander, the end came in together. For Cleander, the end came in 190, a year in which he and Comeodus 190, a year in which he and Comeodus 190, a year in which he and Comeodus conspired to appoint 25 different men conspired to appoint 25 different men conspired to appoint 25 different men console, a record that would stand console, a record that would stand console, a record that would stand unchallenged for the rest of the life of unchallenged for the rest of the life of unchallenged for the rest of the life of the empire. Remember when console ships the empire. Remember when console ships the empire. Remember when console ships were a sacred office that marked the were a sacred office that marked the were a sacred office that marked the prestigious climax of a long and prestigious climax of a long and prestigious climax of a long and distinguished career? Yeah, no one else distinguished career? Yeah, no one else distinguished career? Yeah, no one else does does does either. Included in that infamously long either. Included in that infamously long either. Included in that infamously long roll call of consoles for 190 though was roll call of consoles for 190 though was roll call of consoles for 190 though was a man who was about to reach the new a man who was about to reach the new a man who was about to reach the new climax point for the Roman politician, climax point for the Roman politician, climax point for the Roman politician, Septimius Severis. In one of those classic it's

Severis. In one of those classic it's the economy stupid moments, Cleander's the economy stupid moments, Cleander's the economy stupid moments, Cleander's fall from power was precipitated by a fall from power was precipitated by a fall from power was precipitated by a grain shortage in grain shortage in grain shortage in Rome. Without a major crisis getting in Rome. Without a major crisis getting in Rome. Without a major crisis getting in his way, Cleander was able to more or his way, Cleander was able to more or his way, Cleander was able to more or less come and go as he pleased. But as less come and go as he pleased. But as less come and go as he pleased. But as soon as the grain stopped flowing and soon as the grain stopped flowing and soon as the grain stopped flowing and someone needed to be scapegoed, well, someone needed to be scapegoed, well, someone needed to be scapegoed, well, that someone was naturally the man who that someone was naturally the man who that someone was naturally the man who had just spent 5 years lording over had just spent 5 years lording over had just spent 5 years lording over everyone how much power he everyone how much power he everyone how much power he had. The few active enemies of the had. The few active enemies of the had. The few active enemies of the Imperial Chamberlain left alive seized Imperial Chamberlain left alive seized Imperial Chamberlain left alive seized the opportunity the food shortages the opportunity the food shortages the opportunity the food shortages presented and organized a very public presented and organized a very public presented and organized a very public display against the emperor's favorite display against the emperor's favorite display against the emperor's favorite at the one place the emperor was bound at the one place the emperor was bound at the one place the emperor was bound to hear about it in the circus to hear about it in the circus to hear about it in the circus Maximus. In April of 190 AD at a set of Maximus. In April of 190 AD at a set of Maximus. In April of 190 AD at a set of chariot races a group of children were chariot races a group of children were chariot races a group of children were given anti-ander banners and were snuck given anti-ander banners and were snuck given anti-ander banners and were snuck down onto the field where they began down onto the field where they began down onto the field where they began shouting anti-ander chance. shouting anti-ander chance. shouting anti-ander chance. The hope was that if children were used The hope was that if children were used The hope was that if children were used that the Ptorians wouldn't be able to that the Ptorians wouldn't be able to that the Ptorians wouldn't be able to just march out and club them all to just march out and club them all to just march out and club them all to death, and the trick seems to have death, and the trick seems to have death, and the trick seems to have worked. The crowd eventually joined in worked. The crowd eventually joined in worked. The crowd eventually joined in the chanting, and before too long they the chanting, and before too long they the chanting, and before too long they had worked themselves into a frenzy and had worked themselves into a frenzy and had worked themselves into a frenzy and marched out of the circus Maximus marched out of the circus Maximus marched out of the circus Maximus towards the villa Cleander was staying towards the villa Cleander was staying towards the villa Cleander was staying at. Facing down a crowd of nearly at. Facing down a crowd of nearly at. Facing down a crowd of nearly 150,000, Cleander ordered the Ptorian 150,000, Cleander ordered the Ptorian 150,000, Cleander ordered the Ptorian guard to move in and beat the mob into guard to move in and beat the mob into guard to move in and beat the mob into submission.

submission. submission. But when he called for backup from the But when he called for backup from the But when he called for backup from the urban cohorts who were at this point led urban cohorts who were at this point led urban cohorts who were at this point led by newly appointed urban prefect by newly appointed urban prefect by newly appointed urban prefect Pertinax, Pertinax not only ignored the Pertinax, Pertinax not only ignored the Pertinax, Pertinax not only ignored the call, but he ordered his own troops into call, but he ordered his own troops into call, but he ordered his own troops into the crowd to help them drive off the Ptorians. Cleander fled to the imperial Ptorians. Cleander fled to the imperial villa Comeodus was relaxing at, but as villa Comeodus was relaxing at, but as villa Comeodus was relaxing at, but as with Penis, the emperor was more than with Penis, the emperor was more than with Penis, the emperor was more than willing to throw his favorite under the willing to throw his favorite under the willing to throw his favorite under the bus if that seemed like the safest bus if that seemed like the safest bus if that seemed like the safest course of action for Cometus. course of action for Cometus. course of action for Cometus. So rather than face the wrath of the mob So rather than face the wrath of the mob So rather than face the wrath of the mob himself, Cleander was handed over to the himself, Cleander was handed over to the himself, Cleander was handed over to the crowd who promptly killed him and crowd who promptly killed him and crowd who promptly killed him and dragged his body through the dragged his body through the dragged his body through the streets. The fall of Cleander was streets. The fall of Cleander was streets. The fall of Cleander was accompanied by yet another round of accompanied by yet another round of accompanied by yet another round of purges and anyone with a close purges and anyone with a close purges and anyone with a close connection to the dead Chamberlain found connection to the dead Chamberlain found connection to the dead Chamberlain found themselves added to the emperor's themselves added to the emperor's themselves added to the emperor's prescription list rather than being prescription list rather than being prescription list rather than being asked to help draw them up. asked to help draw them up. asked to help draw them up. These are the times when you start to These are the times when you start to These are the times when you start to understand the appeal of philosophy like understand the appeal of philosophy like understand the appeal of philosophy like epicurionism with its emphasis on epicurionism with its emphasis on epicurionism with its emphasis on leaving politics to those cruel enough leaving politics to those cruel enough leaving politics to those cruel enough and dumb enough to get caught up in and dumb enough to get caught up in and dumb enough to get caught up in it. During the reign of Comedus, you it. During the reign of Comedus, you it. During the reign of Comedus, you were either up and orchestrating the were either up and orchestrating the were either up and orchestrating the murder of your enemies or you were down murder of your enemies or you were down murder of your enemies or you were down and being murdered by your and being murdered by your and being murdered by your enemies. Those leaders who survived to enemies. Those leaders who survived to enemies. Those leaders who survived to see the other side were either like see the other side were either like see the other side were either like Pertinax and willing to follow the winds Pertinax and willing to follow the winds Pertinax and willing to follow the winds wherever they blew, personal honor be wherever they blew, personal honor be wherever they blew, personal honor be damned, or like Septimius Severis, who damned, or like Septimius Severis, who damned, or like Septimius Severis, who kept his head down, but in witnessing kept his head down, but in witnessing kept his head down, but in witnessing the petty, bloody back and forth in the petty, bloody back and forth in the petty, bloody back and forth in Rome, developed an entirely cynical

Rome, developed an entirely cynical Rome, developed an entirely cynical philosophy of government that would help philosophy of government that would help philosophy of government that would help transform the empire into the unstable transform the empire into the unstable transform the empire into the unstable banana republic style military banana republic style military banana republic style military dictatorships of the 3rd century. But before we get to the founding of the But before we get to the founding of the new Severign dynasty, we still have to new Severign dynasty, we still have to new Severign dynasty, we still have to cover the last ignoble phase of the cover the last ignoble phase of the cover the last ignoble phase of the Nervant Antinine Nervant Antinine Nervant Antinine dynasty. The unbroken line of dynasty. The unbroken line of dynasty. The unbroken line of highquality emperors that stretch back highquality emperors that stretch back highquality emperors that stretch back nearly a century and produced some of nearly a century and produced some of nearly a century and produced some of the most recognizable names in Roman the most recognizable names in Roman the most recognizable names in Roman imperial history. Trajan, Hadrien, imperial history. Trajan, Hadrien, imperial history. Trajan, Hadrien, Marcus Aurelius was about to be Marcus Aurelius was about to be Marcus Aurelius was about to be broken. Just as Nero had wrecked the broken. Just as Nero had wrecked the broken. Just as Nero had wrecked the Julio Claudians and Demission had Julio Claudians and Demission had Julio Claudians and Demission had wrecked the Flavians, Comeodus was about wrecked the Flavians, Comeodus was about wrecked the Flavians, Comeodus was about to wreck the to wreck the to wreck the Antonines. In defense of the first two, Antonines. In defense of the first two, Antonines. In defense of the first two, the legitimacy of the Julio Claudians the legitimacy of the Julio Claudians the legitimacy of the Julio Claudians was already a shaky proposition by the was already a shaky proposition by the was already a shaky proposition by the time Nero arrived, and Demission was time Nero arrived, and Demission was time Nero arrived, and Demission was toppled not for being a terrible toppled not for being a terrible toppled not for being a terrible emperor, but for being an unusually emperor, but for being an unusually emperor, but for being an unusually arrogant arrogant arrogant one. Comeodus, on the other hand, took one. Comeodus, on the other hand, took one. Comeodus, on the other hand, took an entirely healthy dynasty, spun a hard an entirely healthy dynasty, spun a hard an entirely healthy dynasty, spun a hard right, and just drove it into a brick right, and just drove it into a brick right, and just drove it into a brick wall.

wall. wall. He was arrogant like dimmission. But He was arrogant like dimmission. But He was arrogant like dimmission. But instead of offsetting this by instead of offsetting this by instead of offsetting this by establishing an effective autocracy, he establishing an effective autocracy, he establishing an effective autocracy, he oversaw sloppy, corrupt, and decadent oversaw sloppy, corrupt, and decadent oversaw sloppy, corrupt, and decadent administration that bankrupted the administration that bankrupted the administration that bankrupted the empire, left its infrastructure to rot, empire, left its infrastructure to rot, empire, left its infrastructure to rot, and purged out most of its talented and purged out most of its talented and purged out most of its talented leaders. Commodus saved the best for leaders. Commodus saved the best for leaders. Commodus saved the best for last, though, and during his last two last, though, and during his last two last, though, and during his last two years in office, he really kicked the years in office, he really kicked the years in office, he really kicked the crazy up a notch. crazy up a notch. crazy up a notch. Basically, if Comeodus had had his way, Basically, if Comeodus had had his way, Basically, if Comeodus had had his way, this podcast would not be called the this podcast would not be called the this podcast would not be called the history of Rome. It would be called the history of Rome. It would be called the history of Rome. It would be called the history of Kodiana. And I wouldn't be history of Kodiana. And I wouldn't be history of Kodiana. And I wouldn't be talking about how the Romans kicked off talking about how the Romans kicked off talking about how the Romans kicked off this or that campaign season in the this or that campaign season in the this or that campaign season in the month of April, but instead talking month of April, but instead talking month of April, but instead talking about how the Commodians kicked off this about how the Commodians kicked off this about how the Commodians kicked off this or that new campaign season in the month or that new campaign season in the month or that new campaign season in the month of Commodus. And also, did you know that of Commodus. And also, did you know that of Commodus. And also, did you know that Comedus was the reincarnation of Comedus was the reincarnation of Comedus was the reincarnation of Hercules? Hercules? Hercules? Not just that he liked to associate Not just that he liked to associate Not just that he liked to associate himself with Hercules, mind you, but himself with Hercules, mind you, but himself with Hercules, mind you, but that he was literally the reincarnation that he was literally the reincarnation that he was literally the reincarnation of of of Hercules. Yes, good times were ahead. The crazy really got rolling ahead. The crazy really got rolling right after Cleander and his allies were right after Cleander and his allies were right after Cleander and his allies were liquidated. Rather than elevate some new liquidated. Rather than elevate some new liquidated. Rather than elevate some new favorite to power, the now 29-year-old favorite to power, the now 29-year-old favorite to power, the now 29-year-old cometus decided that it was time to rule cometus decided that it was time to rule cometus decided that it was time to rule in his own in his own in his own right. He still surrounded himself with right. He still surrounded himself with right. He still surrounded himself with corrupt sickants. most notably his corrupt sickants. most notably his corrupt sickants. most notably his mistress Marshia, new chamberlain mistress Marshia, new chamberlain mistress Marshia, new chamberlain Eclectus, and new Ptorian prefect Eclectus, and new Ptorian prefect Eclectus, and new Ptorian prefect Quintis Leus. But unlike in his past

Quintis Leus. But unlike in his past Quintis Leus. But unlike in his past dealings with Sataras, Penis, and dealings with Sataras, Penis, and dealings with Sataras, Penis, and Cleander, Comeodus did not delegate his Cleander, Comeodus did not delegate his Cleander, Comeodus did not delegate his imperial imperial imperial responsibilities. But then again, responsibilities. But then again, responsibilities. But then again, neither did he really embrace them neither did he really embrace them neither did he really embrace them either. Instead, the governance of the either. Instead, the governance of the either. Instead, the governance of the empire was just sort of set a drift. empire was just sort of set a drift. empire was just sort of set a drift. Cometus spent nearly every day fighting Cometus spent nearly every day fighting Cometus spent nearly every day fighting as a gladiator or enjoying the races. as a gladiator or enjoying the races. as a gladiator or enjoying the races. And his only real concern was making And his only real concern was making And his only real concern was making sure that he had enough money to pay for sure that he had enough money to pay for sure that he had enough money to pay for it all, usually by confiscating property it all, usually by confiscating property it all, usually by confiscating property or levying new or levying new or levying new taxes. But of course, he never did have taxes. But of course, he never did have taxes. But of course, he never did have enough money to pay for it all. And he enough money to pay for it all. And he enough money to pay for it all. And he would leave the imperial treasury deep, would leave the imperial treasury deep, would leave the imperial treasury deep, deep in the red. By 191, Commodus was beginning to red. By 191, Commodus was beginning to lose touch, even with the masses, who lose touch, even with the masses, who lose touch, even with the masses, who had always supported an emperor as had always supported an emperor as had always supported an emperor as obsessed with the games as they obsessed with the games as they obsessed with the games as they were. They began to look sideways at his were. They began to look sideways at his were. They began to look sideways at his obsession with Hercules, and took as obsession with Hercules, and took as obsession with Hercules, and took as mighty Impas the claim that he was mighty Impas the claim that he was mighty Impas the claim that he was actually the reincarnation of the old actually the reincarnation of the old actually the reincarnation of the old Greek hero.

Greek hero. Greek hero. When Comeodus began erecting statues When Comeodus began erecting statues When Comeodus began erecting statues across the city featuring himself across the city featuring himself across the city featuring himself dressed as Hercules and began carrying dressed as Hercules and began carrying dressed as Hercules and began carrying around a great big club which he called around a great big club which he called around a great big club which he called the Club of Hercules, the people joined the Club of Hercules, the people joined the Club of Hercules, the people joined in the aristocracy's concern over the in the aristocracy's concern over the in the aristocracy's concern over the sanity of their sanity of their sanity of their emperor. Delusions of lineage aside, emperor. Delusions of lineage aside, emperor. Delusions of lineage aside, Commodus' association with Hercules did Commodus' association with Hercules did Commodus' association with Hercules did introduce a new theme to the political introduce a new theme to the political introduce a new theme to the political order that in time would become a staple order that in time would become a staple order that in time would become a staple of imperial propaganda. of imperial propaganda. of imperial propaganda. As we all know, Hercules was the son of As we all know, Hercules was the son of As we all know, Hercules was the son of Jupiter. This meant that if Comeodus was Jupiter. This meant that if Comeodus was Jupiter. This meant that if Comeodus was literally an incarnation of Hercules, literally an incarnation of Hercules, literally an incarnation of Hercules, that his true father was not Marcus that his true father was not Marcus that his true father was not Marcus Aurelius, but Jupiter Aurelius, but Jupiter Aurelius, but Jupiter himself. Cometus further implied that himself. Cometus further implied that himself. Cometus further implied that this meant that he did not rule by this meant that he did not rule by this meant that he did not rule by virtue of the Senate's consent or the virtue of the Senate's consent or the virtue of the Senate's consent or the will of the masses or because he had the will of the masses or because he had the will of the masses or because he had the backing of the legions, but because it backing of the legions, but because it backing of the legions, but because it was the will of his father, Jupiter, was the will of his father, Jupiter, was the will of his father, Jupiter, greatest and best. greatest and best. greatest and best. Comedus was in other words a divine Comedus was in other words a divine Comedus was in other words a divine monarch and he himself was a living monarch and he himself was a living monarch and he himself was a living god. It would take a little while for god. It would take a little while for god. It would take a little while for this new conception of where imperial this new conception of where imperial this new conception of where imperial sovereignty lay to catch on but sovereignty lay to catch on but sovereignty lay to catch on but Diolesian would eventually make the Diolesian would eventually make the Diolesian would eventually make the business about being a divine monarch a business about being a divine monarch a business about being a divine monarch a cornerstone of his empirewide reforms.

cornerstone of his empirewide reforms. cornerstone of his empirewide reforms. Now, of course, unlike Comeodus, Now, of course, unlike Comeodus, Now, of course, unlike Comeodus, Diolesian probably did not actually Diolesian probably did not actually Diolesian probably did not actually believe that he was divine and that he believe that he was divine and that he believe that he was divine and that he was simply grasping for anything that was simply grasping for anything that was simply grasping for anything that would help restore the dignity of the would help restore the dignity of the would help restore the dignity of the imperial throne so he could reassert imperial throne so he could reassert imperial throne so he could reassert some control over the legions. But some control over the legions. But some control over the legions. But still, that was where political theory still, that was where political theory still, that was where political theory was headed. And Cometus, at least in was headed. And Cometus, at least in was headed. And Cometus, at least in this one respect, was an innovator ahead this one respect, was an innovator ahead this one respect, was an innovator ahead of his time. But if he was a divinely appointed But if he was a divinely appointed ruler, then it did not take long for ruler, then it did not take long for ruler, then it did not take long for Jupiter to realize his Jupiter to realize his Jupiter to realize his mistake. In 191, a fire broke out in mistake. In 191, a fire broke out in mistake. In 191, a fire broke out in Rome that raged for days and among other Rome that raged for days and among other Rome that raged for days and among other things, burned the temple of the Vestus things, burned the temple of the Vestus things, burned the temple of the Vestus to the to the to the ground. Thomas seemed unconcerned about ground. Thomas seemed unconcerned about ground. Thomas seemed unconcerned about the damage, but rather seemed thrilled the damage, but rather seemed thrilled the damage, but rather seemed thrilled at the prospect of getting to refound at the prospect of getting to refound at the prospect of getting to refound Rome in his own image. Rome in his own image. Rome in his own image. So in early 192 he fully embraced his So in early 192 he fully embraced his So in early 192 he fully embraced his own outsized megalamania and declared own outsized megalamania and declared own outsized megalamania and declared that henceforth Rome would no longer be that henceforth Rome would no longer be that henceforth Rome would no longer be called Rome but instead the colonia ania called Rome but instead the colonia ania called Rome but instead the colonia ania commodana in other words the city of commodana in other words the city of commodana in other words the city of comedus. He further decreed that the comedus. He further decreed that the comedus. He further decreed that the legions would now be called the legions would now be called the legions would now be called the commodani and the senate would be called commodani and the senate would be called commodani and the senate would be called comedus' fortunate senate. a sort of comedus' fortunate senate. a sort of comedus' fortunate senate. a sort of darkly comic darkly comic darkly comic rebranding. Having already changed his rebranding. Having already changed his rebranding. Having already changed his full name to Lucius, Elilus, Aurelius, full name to Lucius, Elilus, Aurelius, full name to Lucius, Elilus, Aurelius, Comeodus, Augustus, Hercuus, Romanus, Comeodus, Augustus, Hercuus, Romanus, Comeodus, Augustus, Hercuus, Romanus, Exuperatorus, Amazonius, Invictus, Exuperatorus, Amazonius, Invictus, Exuperatorus, Amazonius, Invictus, Felix,

Felix, Felix, Pius. He then changed the names of the Pius. He then changed the names of the Pius. He then changed the names of the months so that each lined up with one of months so that each lined up with one of months so that each lined up with one of his 12 corresponding names. his 12 corresponding names. his 12 corresponding names. All this began to worry even his inner All this began to worry even his inner All this began to worry even his inner circle, who tried to dissuade the circle, who tried to dissuade the circle, who tried to dissuade the emperor from indulging himself too much emperor from indulging himself too much emperor from indulging himself too much in these fantasies for fear that he in these fantasies for fear that he in these fantasies for fear that he would alienate the whole population with would alienate the whole population with would alienate the whole population with his strange his strange his strange declarations. But all that they got in declarations. But all that they got in declarations. But all that they got in response was a suspicious snarl, leaving response was a suspicious snarl, leaving response was a suspicious snarl, leaving them all with the justified true belief them all with the justified true belief them all with the justified true belief that they were about to be purged for that they were about to be purged for that they were about to be purged for having the tmerity to question the son having the tmerity to question the son having the tmerity to question the son of God. In late 192, Eclectus, Marsha, and In late 192, Eclectus, Marsha, and Leitus got together and agreed that the Leitus got together and agreed that the Leitus got together and agreed that the emperor had to be done away with or they emperor had to be done away with or they emperor had to be done away with or they would all lose their heads, either at would all lose their heads, either at would all lose their heads, either at the hands of the emperor or at the hands the hands of the emperor or at the hands the hands of the emperor or at the hands of the mob, who seemed to be prepping of the mob, who seemed to be prepping of the mob, who seemed to be prepping for a mass for a mass for a mass uprising. But having seen multiple uprising. But having seen multiple uprising. But having seen multiple attempts on the emperor's life fail, attempts on the emperor's life fail, attempts on the emperor's life fail, they laid their plans they laid their plans they laid their plans carefully. Being so close to the carefully. Being so close to the carefully. Being so close to the emperor, they knew they would have the emperor, they knew they would have the emperor, they knew they would have the means, motive, and opportunity to do the means, motive, and opportunity to do the means, motive, and opportunity to do the job. But what they didn't yet have was job. But what they didn't yet have was job. But what they didn't yet have was someone willing to replace Commodus on someone willing to replace Commodus on someone willing to replace Commodus on the the the throne. Killing the emperor was one throne. Killing the emperor was one throne. Killing the emperor was one thing. Ensuring that the assassination thing. Ensuring that the assassination thing. Ensuring that the assassination would not cause a civil war was quite would not cause a civil war was quite would not cause a civil war was quite another. So they had to find someone who another. So they had to find someone who another. So they had to find someone who would be palatable to all three would be palatable to all three would be palatable to all three interested parties in the outcome. The interested parties in the outcome. The interested parties in the outcome. The Senate, the Army, and the Senate, the Army, and the Senate, the Army, and the masses. In the end, they figured there masses. In the end, they figured there masses. In the end, they figured there was only one man for the job, and that

was only one man for the job, and that was only one man for the job, and that was Pertinax. was Pertinax. was Pertinax. I'm not entirely sure why they thought I'm not entirely sure why they thought I'm not entirely sure why they thought Pertinax would do anything but just rat Pertinax would do anything but just rat Pertinax would do anything but just rat them out, but the conspirators them out, but the conspirators them out, but the conspirators approached the old general, and this approached the old general, and this approached the old general, and this time he concurred that Cometus' time was time he concurred that Cometus' time was time he concurred that Cometus' time was up. Pertinax agreed to wait in the wings up. Pertinax agreed to wait in the wings up. Pertinax agreed to wait in the wings and take no direct part in the killing, and take no direct part in the killing, and take no direct part in the killing, but when the deed was done, he pledged but when the deed was done, he pledged but when the deed was done, he pledged that when asked, he would reluctantly that when asked, he would reluctantly that when asked, he would reluctantly agree to dawn the purple. Even with their plans carefully purple. Even with their plans carefully laid, things got off to a bad start. laid, things got off to a bad start. laid, things got off to a bad start. On New Year's Eve 192, Marca attempted On New Year's Eve 192, Marca attempted On New Year's Eve 192, Marca attempted to poison her lover, but Cometus caught to poison her lover, but Cometus caught to poison her lover, but Cometus caught wise to the poison and forced himself to wise to the poison and forced himself to wise to the poison and forced himself to vomit it all back vomit it all back vomit it all back up. Not sure who was behind the attempt, up. Not sure who was behind the attempt, up. Not sure who was behind the attempt, the Cometus retired to his private bath the Cometus retired to his private bath the Cometus retired to his private bath so he could be alone with his so he could be alone with his so he could be alone with his paranoia. Quickly switching to plan B, paranoia. Quickly switching to plan B, paranoia. Quickly switching to plan B, the conspirator sent Cometus' wrestling the conspirator sent Cometus' wrestling the conspirator sent Cometus' wrestling partner, Narcissus, into the bath with partner, Narcissus, into the bath with partner, Narcissus, into the bath with instructions to strangle the emperor.

instructions to strangle the emperor. instructions to strangle the emperor. Just as with the assassination of Just as with the assassination of Just as with the assassination of dimmission, Cometus did not go quietly. dimmission, Cometus did not go quietly. dimmission, Cometus did not go quietly. But eventually, Narcissus got the upper But eventually, Narcissus got the upper But eventually, Narcissus got the upper hand and Cometus laid dead on the hand and Cometus laid dead on the hand and Cometus laid dead on the floor. He was 31 years old and had ruled floor. He was 31 years old and had ruled floor. He was 31 years old and had ruled the empire very, very badly for 12 the empire very, very badly for 12 the empire very, very badly for 12 years. Next week, the Empire will wake up with Next week, the Empire will wake up with a massive hangover and try to take stock a massive hangover and try to take stock a massive hangover and try to take stock of the damage that had been done over of the damage that had been done over of the damage that had been done over the previous decade by Comeodus and his the previous decade by Comeodus and his the previous decade by Comeodus and his friends. But before they could even find friends. But before they could even find friends. But before they could even find the aspirin, the people of Rome will be the aspirin, the people of Rome will be the aspirin, the people of Rome will be forced to endure a political situation forced to endure a political situation forced to endure a political situation spinning violently out of spinning violently out of spinning violently out of control. Pertinax will not last 100 days control. Pertinax will not last 100 days control. Pertinax will not last 100 days in power. The reign of his successor in power. The reign of his successor in power. The reign of his successor Ddius Giulianis will be even shorter. Ddius Giulianis will be even shorter. Ddius Giulianis will be even shorter. Then three men representing different Then three men representing different Then three men representing different regions of the empire will all v for the regions of the empire will all v for the regions of the empire will all v for the throne on the throne on the throne on the battlefield. Rather than emerging into battlefield. Rather than emerging into battlefield. Rather than emerging into the safety of a comedous free world, the the safety of a comedous free world, the the safety of a comedous free world, the empire will instead find itself sucked empire will instead find itself sucked empire will instead find itself sucked into something far more treacherous. A into something far more treacherous. A into something far more treacherous. A year with five emperors.

year with five emperors. year with five emperors. [Music] Hello and welcome to the history of Hello and welcome to the history of realm. Episode 98, purchasing realm. Episode 98, purchasing realm. Episode 98, purchasing power. After numerous failed attempts, power. After numerous failed attempts, power. After numerous failed attempts, foiled plots, and exposed conspiracies, foiled plots, and exposed conspiracies, foiled plots, and exposed conspiracies, someone finally managed to kill someone finally managed to kill someone finally managed to kill Comeodus. That someone was a young Comeodus. That someone was a young Comeodus. That someone was a young athlete named Narcissus, who had been athlete named Narcissus, who had been athlete named Narcissus, who had been promised a huge reward by the emperor's promised a huge reward by the emperor's promised a huge reward by the emperor's inner circle if he successfully inner circle if he successfully inner circle if he successfully strangled Cometus to strangled Cometus to strangled Cometus to death. With the deed done and finally death. With the deed done and finally death. With the deed done and finally done right, phase two of the plan was done right, phase two of the plan was done right, phase two of the plan was then initiated.

then initiated. then initiated. One of the key conspirators, Ptorian One of the key conspirators, Ptorian One of the key conspirators, Ptorian prefect Quintis Leus, went and retrieved prefect Quintis Leus, went and retrieved prefect Quintis Leus, went and retrieved Publius Helius Pertinax, who had been Publius Helius Pertinax, who had been Publius Helius Pertinax, who had been pacing around his house all night, pacing around his house all night, pacing around his house all night, waiting for either the good news that waiting for either the good news that waiting for either the good news that the emperor was dead, or the bad news the emperor was dead, or the bad news the emperor was dead, or the bad news that the plot had failed, and it was that the plot had failed, and it was that the plot had failed, and it was time to get caught up in the time to get caught up in the time to get caught up in the never-ending cycle of never-ending cycle of never-ending cycle of purges. When the knock on the door purges. When the knock on the door purges. When the knock on the door finally came, it was Lus announcing that finally came, it was Lus announcing that finally came, it was Lus announcing that the emperor was in fact dead and phase the emperor was in fact dead and phase the emperor was in fact dead and phase two was at hand. Phase two was hustling two was at hand. Phase two was hustling two was at hand. Phase two was hustling Pertinax to the Ptorian camp where Litus Pertinax to the Ptorian camp where Litus Pertinax to the Ptorian camp where Litus had arranged for the old senator to be had arranged for the old senator to be had arranged for the old senator to be immediately proclaimed immediately proclaimed immediately proclaimed emperor. The troops were told that emperor. The troops were told that emperor. The troops were told that comeodus had died of an embolism, that comeodus had died of an embolism, that comeodus had died of an embolism, that pertinax was already the consensus pertinax was already the consensus pertinax was already the consensus choice to succeed him and that it was up choice to succeed him and that it was up choice to succeed him and that it was up to the rank and file pritorians to make to the rank and file pritorians to make to the rank and file pritorians to make it it it official. They were uneasy about all official. They were uneasy about all official. They were uneasy about all this and were probably one of the few this and were probably one of the few this and were probably one of the few groups in the empire ready to shed tears groups in the empire ready to shed tears groups in the empire ready to shed tears for Cometus. But leaders promised them for Cometus. But leaders promised them for Cometus. But leaders promised them the world if they backed pertinents. And the world if they backed pertinents. And the world if they backed pertinents. And so they so they so they did. The point of all of this was to did. The point of all of this was to did. The point of all of this was to present the Senate with a fat comple so present the Senate with a fat comple so present the Senate with a fat comple so that when the senators awakened on New that when the senators awakened on New that when the senators awakened on New Year's Day and found the old emperor Year's Day and found the old emperor Year's Day and found the old emperor dead, a new one would already be in dead, a new one would already be in dead, a new one would already be in place. All night the conspirators place. All night the conspirators place. All night the conspirators fredded over how the Senate would react, fredded over how the Senate would react, fredded over how the Senate would react, but they were worried over nothing. Most but they were worried over nothing. Most but they were worried over nothing. Most of the Senate after finally being of the Senate after finally being of the Senate after finally being convinced that this wasn't one of the convinced that this wasn't one of the convinced that this wasn't one of the hilarious emperor's practical jokes were hilarious emperor's practical jokes were hilarious emperor's practical jokes were thrilled at the news that Matt as a thrilled at the news that Matt as a thrilled at the news that Matt as a Hatter Commodus was dead and that Hatter Commodus was dead and that Hatter Commodus was dead and that Pertinax wise, capable and experienced Pertinax wise, capable and experienced Pertinax wise, capable and experienced Pertinax was the man the Ptorians were Pertinax was the man the Ptorians were Pertinax was the man the Ptorians were demanding they accept as the new

demanding they accept as the new demanding they accept as the new emperor. The choice of Pertinax was emperor. The choice of Pertinax was emperor. The choice of Pertinax was ratified immediately and in almost the ratified immediately and in almost the ratified immediately and in almost the same breath the memory of Comeodus was same breath the memory of Comeodus was same breath the memory of Comeodus was officially damned. All his crazy officially damned. All his crazy officially damned. All his crazy pronouncements about renaming Rome and pronouncements about renaming Rome and pronouncements about renaming Rome and the months and the legions, those were the months and the legions, those were the months and the legions, those were all nullified. And across the city, his all nullified. And across the city, his all nullified. And across the city, his statues were statues were statues were toppled. At the dawn of a new year, a toppled. At the dawn of a new year, a toppled. At the dawn of a new year, a new day was dawning for the empire. Kind new day was dawning for the empire. Kind new day was dawning for the empire. Kind of sort of, not of sort of, not of sort of, not really. So, a few episodes ago, I just really. So, a few episodes ago, I just really. So, a few episodes ago, I just sort of slipped Pertinax into the sort of slipped Pertinax into the sort of slipped Pertinax into the narrative and have referred to him off narrative and have referred to him off narrative and have referred to him off and on ever since. But other than the and on ever since. But other than the and on ever since. But other than the fact that he was an able military fact that he was an able military fact that he was an able military officer and that he did his damnedest officer and that he did his damnedest officer and that he did his damnedest not to get involved in plots against not to get involved in plots against not to get involved in plots against Comeodus, I haven't really told you that Comeodus, I haven't really told you that Comeodus, I haven't really told you that much about him. By far the most much about him. By far the most much about him. By far the most interesting thing to note is that unique interesting thing to note is that unique interesting thing to note is that unique among emperors, at least up until this among emperors, at least up until this among emperors, at least up until this point, he was the son of air point, he was the son of air point, he was the son of air freedman. Born in 126, he had planned on freedman. Born in 126, he had planned on freedman. Born in 126, he had planned on becoming a grammar instructor. But in becoming a grammar instructor. But in becoming a grammar instructor. But in his late teens, he decided to have some his late teens, he decided to have some his late teens, he decided to have some strings pulled for him so he could be strings pulled for him so he could be strings pulled for him so he could be commissioned as an officer in the commissioned as an officer in the commissioned as an officer in the legions instead.

legions instead. legions instead. Once in uniform, he immediately proved Once in uniform, he immediately proved Once in uniform, he immediately proved that he was a hardworking soldier and a that he was a hardworking soldier and a that he was a hardworking soldier and a natural leader of men, whatever his natural leader of men, whatever his natural leader of men, whatever his lowly background said about him. He came lowly background said about him. He came lowly background said about him. He came to the attention of Claudius Pompeianis, to the attention of Claudius Pompeianis, to the attention of Claudius Pompeianis, who was himself of lowly origin, though who was himself of lowly origin, though who was himself of lowly origin, though not as lowly as being the son of a not as lowly as being the son of a not as lowly as being the son of a freedman, and he became attached to the freedman, and he became attached to the freedman, and he became attached to the older man's staff. As Pompeianis' star older man's staff. As Pompeianis' star older man's staff. As Pompeianis' star rose during the reign of Marcus rose during the reign of Marcus rose during the reign of Marcus Aurelius, Pertnax rose along with Aurelius, Pertnax rose along with Aurelius, Pertnax rose along with it. Eventually, his undeniable talent it. Eventually, his undeniable talent it. Eventually, his undeniable talent won out and Marcus decided to enroll the won out and Marcus decided to enroll the won out and Marcus decided to enroll the young man as a senator so he could grant young man as a senator so he could grant young man as a senator so he could grant Pertinax a full command. In 175, he was Pertinax a full command. In 175, he was Pertinax a full command. In 175, he was granted a Suffet consil ship as a reward granted a Suffet consil ship as a reward granted a Suffet consil ship as a reward for his excellent service. A console for his excellent service. A console for his excellent service. A console ship he would coincidentally share with ship he would coincidentally share with ship he would coincidentally share with Ddius Giulianis, who we will get to in a Ddius Giulianis, who we will get to in a Ddius Giulianis, who we will get to in a second. His rise was not without second. His rise was not without second. His rise was not without setbacks though and for his entire setbacks though and for his entire setbacks though and for his entire career he would have to deal with career he would have to deal with career he would have to deal with aristocratic bigotry against this son of aristocratic bigotry against this son of aristocratic bigotry against this son of a slave who had had the tmerity to order a slave who had had the tmerity to order a slave who had had the tmerity to order around his social around his social around his social betters. During the reign of Marcus he betters. During the reign of Marcus he betters. During the reign of Marcus he was briefly blacklisted following the was briefly blacklisted following the was briefly blacklisted following the machinations of some officials close to machinations of some officials close to machinations of some officials close to Fina who hated Pertinax for among other Fina who hated Pertinax for among other Fina who hated Pertinax for among other things his close relationship with things his close relationship with things his close relationship with Papanis who she Papanis who she Papanis who she detested. During the early years of detested. During the early years of detested. During the early years of Comedus' reign, Pertinax essentially Comedus' reign, Pertinax essentially Comedus' reign, Pertinax essentially retired from public life rather than retired from public life rather than retired from public life rather than attempt to get into a political flame attempt to get into a political flame attempt to get into a political flame war with Penis. But once Pannis was out war with Penis. But once Pannis was out war with Penis. But once Pannis was out of the picture, Pertinax found himself of the picture, Pertinax found himself of the picture, Pertinax found himself back in favor and back in back in favor and back in back in favor and back in demand. In all during his long career,

demand. In all during his long career, demand. In all during his long career, he served with distinction in the he served with distinction in the he served with distinction in the Parthion War and the Marcom manic wars Parthion War and the Marcom manic wars Parthion War and the Marcom manic wars and at one time or another govern the and at one time or another govern the and at one time or another govern the provinces of Upper Moia, Lower Moia, provinces of Upper Moia, Lower Moia, provinces of Upper Moia, Lower Moia, Dia, Syria, Britain, and Africa. Dia, Syria, Britain, and Africa. Dia, Syria, Britain, and Africa. Far from being honorary postings, these Far from being honorary postings, these Far from being honorary postings, these were among the most critical territories were among the most critical territories were among the most critical territories the empire had to the empire had to the empire had to offer. Throughout his career, there was offer. Throughout his career, there was offer. Throughout his career, there was only one real lingering flaw in his only one real lingering flaw in his only one real lingering flaw in his character. At least according to the character. At least according to the character. At least according to the troops who served under troops who served under troops who served under him. Unlike many other commanders, him. Unlike many other commanders, him. Unlike many other commanders, particularly those who served at particularly those who served at particularly those who served at Comedus' pleasure, Pertinax was not Comedus' pleasure, Pertinax was not Comedus' pleasure, Pertinax was not indulgent of his troops. He demanded indulgent of his troops. He demanded indulgent of his troops. He demanded strict discipline in the camps and had strict discipline in the camps and had strict discipline in the camps and had no time for whiners or complainers. They no time for whiners or complainers. They no time for whiners or complainers. They were soldiers and they ought to act like were soldiers and they ought to act like were soldiers and they ought to act like it. There was nothing more to say on the it. There was nothing more to say on the it. There was nothing more to say on the subject. Unfortunately, this reputation subject. Unfortunately, this reputation subject. Unfortunately, this reputation would come back to haunt him once he was would come back to haunt him once he was would come back to haunt him once he was emperor. Strict discipline was not, for emperor. Strict discipline was not, for emperor. Strict discipline was not, for example, what the Ptorian guard had in example, what the Ptorian guard had in example, what the Ptorian guard had in mind when they went and did the old man mind when they went and did the old man mind when they went and did the old man a pretty huge favor by making him a pretty huge favor by making him a pretty huge favor by making him emperor of the whole empire.

While the Senate needed no proddding to While the Senate needed no proddding to be ecstatic about the elevation of be ecstatic about the elevation of be ecstatic about the elevation of Pertinax, the Ptorians had to be bought Pertinax, the Ptorians had to be bought Pertinax, the Ptorians had to be bought off. In securing their support, Pinax off. In securing their support, Pinax off. In securing their support, Pinax had been forced to promise a huge had been forced to promise a huge had been forced to promise a huge donative to every man in the donative to every man in the donative to every man in the guard. Now more than ever, the men of guard. Now more than ever, the men of guard. Now more than ever, the men of the Imperial Bodyguard didn't care who the Imperial Bodyguard didn't care who the Imperial Bodyguard didn't care who was in power as long as they got paid. was in power as long as they got paid. was in power as long as they got paid. In a few short months, the crass In a few short months, the crass In a few short months, the crass financial underpinnings of their financial underpinnings of their financial underpinnings of their morality would be displayed in a way morality would be displayed in a way morality would be displayed in a way never before imaginable. never before imaginable. never before imaginable. But for now, they accepted the promise But for now, they accepted the promise But for now, they accepted the promise of money from Pertinax, and so they of money from Pertinax, and so they of money from Pertinax, and so they supported supported supported Pertinax. Out in the provinces, word Pertinax. Out in the provinces, word Pertinax. Out in the provinces, word spread of Cometus' demise. And though spread of Cometus' demise. And though spread of Cometus' demise. And though there was no political unrest following there was no political unrest following there was no political unrest following the death of the erratic and dangerous the death of the erratic and dangerous the death of the erratic and dangerous emperor, the fact of his murder and the emperor, the fact of his murder and the emperor, the fact of his murder and the fact that a man who had no connection fact that a man who had no connection fact that a man who had no connection whatsoever to the now dead Antonine whatsoever to the now dead Antonine whatsoever to the now dead Antonine dynasty had to have sparked the dynasty had to have sparked the dynasty had to have sparked the imaginations of more than a few powerful imaginations of more than a few powerful imaginations of more than a few powerful governors. governors. governors. Shortly we will deal with three such Shortly we will deal with three such Shortly we will deal with three such powerful governors who between them powerful governors who between them powerful governors who between them commanded a majority of the empire's commanded a majority of the empire's commanded a majority of the empire's legions. They all knew and appreciated legions. They all knew and appreciated legions. They all knew and appreciated the service and stature of Pertinax and the service and stature of Pertinax and the service and stature of Pertinax and so there was no immediate uprising. But so there was no immediate uprising. But so there was no immediate uprising. But the new emperor was awfully long in the the new emperor was awfully long in the the new emperor was awfully long in the tooth and when he went to meet his maker tooth and when he went to meet his maker tooth and when he went to meet his maker who exactly would succeed him was the who exactly would succeed him was the who exactly would succeed him was the question on all their question on all their question on all their minds. The answer came much sooner than minds. The answer came much sooner than minds. The answer came much sooner than anyone thought. You see, when Pertinax anyone thought. You see, when Pertinax anyone thought. You see, when Pertinax promised a huge bonus to the Ptorians in promised a huge bonus to the Ptorians in promised a huge bonus to the Ptorians in exchange for their support, he had done exchange for their support, he had done exchange for their support, he had done so at the behest of Litus, who told him so at the behest of Litus, who told him so at the behest of Litus, who told him it was the only it was the only it was the only way. Once the crisis of succession was

way. Once the crisis of succession was way. Once the crisis of succession was in the rearview mirror a bit, though, in the rearview mirror a bit, though, in the rearview mirror a bit, though, Pertinax re-evaluated the wisdom of Pertinax re-evaluated the wisdom of Pertinax re-evaluated the wisdom of paying the Ptorians such an ungodly sum paying the Ptorians such an ungodly sum paying the Ptorians such an ungodly sum of of of money. He came through with half the money. He came through with half the money. He came through with half the amount, but declined to pay the rest, amount, but declined to pay the rest, amount, but declined to pay the rest, arguing that what he had already given arguing that what he had already given arguing that what he had already given them was more than most soldiers make in them was more than most soldiers make in them was more than most soldiers make in a lifetime. a lifetime. a lifetime. Besides, the imperial treasury is empty, Besides, the imperial treasury is empty, Besides, the imperial treasury is empty, so there's really nothing left to pay so there's really nothing left to pay so there's really nothing left to pay you you you with. But the Ptorians couldn't have with. But the Ptorians couldn't have with. But the Ptorians couldn't have cared less about where the money came cared less about where the money came cared less about where the money came from or what the average soldier made in from or what the average soldier made in from or what the average soldier made in a lifetime. They just wanted what was a lifetime. They just wanted what was a lifetime. They just wanted what was theirs. Pertinex considered the matter theirs. Pertinex considered the matter theirs. Pertinex considered the matter closed, though, and shifted his focus to closed, though, and shifted his focus to closed, though, and shifted his focus to seeing what could be done to get the seeing what could be done to get the seeing what could be done to get the empire back on track after so many years empire back on track after so many years empire back on track after so many years of of of mismanagement. The Ptorians, however, mismanagement. The Ptorians, however, mismanagement. The Ptorians, however, did not consider the matter closed. They did not consider the matter closed. They did not consider the matter closed. They were the only reason this stuffy old man were the only reason this stuffy old man were the only reason this stuffy old man was on the throne in the first place. was on the throne in the first place. was on the throne in the first place. And now he was stiffing them when the And now he was stiffing them when the And now he was stiffing them when the bill came due. Who did he think he was? bill came due. Who did he think he was? bill came due. Who did he think he was? They made him and they could break They made him and they could break They made him and they could break him. In March, Pertinax visited the port him. In March, Pertinax visited the port him. In March, Pertinax visited the port of Oia to inspect incoming grain of Oia to inspect incoming grain of Oia to inspect incoming grain shipments. And while there, he was given shipments. And while there, he was given shipments. And while there, he was given evidence proving that one of the year's evidence proving that one of the year's evidence proving that one of the year's consils, a senator named Quintis Falco, consils, a senator named Quintis Falco, consils, a senator named Quintis Falco, had gone in with a few key members of had gone in with a few key members of had gone in with a few key members of the guard on a plot to kill Pertnex.

the guard on a plot to kill Pertnex. the guard on a plot to kill Pertnex. The guard promised to make Falco emperor The guard promised to make Falco emperor The guard promised to make Falco emperor if he promised to pay up promptly and in if he promised to pay up promptly and in if he promised to pay up promptly and in full. Unwilling to be held hostage by a full. Unwilling to be held hostage by a full. Unwilling to be held hostage by a bunch of greedy bodyguards who did not bunch of greedy bodyguards who did not bunch of greedy bodyguards who did not know their true place in the world, know their true place in the world, know their true place in the world, Pertinax continued to refuse them the Pertinax continued to refuse them the Pertinax continued to refuse them the second half of the donative, but now did second half of the donative, but now did second half of the donative, but now did so knowing full well that he was putting so knowing full well that he was putting so knowing full well that he was putting himself in a very dangerous himself in a very dangerous himself in a very dangerous position. But whether out of principle, position. But whether out of principle, position. But whether out of principle, obstinency, or something else, he obstinency, or something else, he obstinency, or something else, he refused to back down on the issue. refused to back down on the issue. refused to back down on the issue. He went so far as to avoid passing out He went so far as to avoid passing out He went so far as to avoid passing out imperial titles to his wife and imperial titles to his wife and imperial titles to his wife and children. Perhaps suspecting that if and children. Perhaps suspecting that if and children. Perhaps suspecting that if and when a final showdown came, that they when a final showdown came, that they when a final showdown came, that they would be safer on the sidelines than would be safer on the sidelines than would be safer on the sidelines than carrying around dangerous titles like carrying around dangerous titles like carrying around dangerous titles like Augusta and Caesar. There was a hope prevailing in Caesar. There was a hope prevailing in Rome early in 193 that maybe the reign Rome early in 193 that maybe the reign Rome early in 193 that maybe the reign of Cometus had just been a hiccup and of Cometus had just been a hiccup and of Cometus had just been a hiccup and that with Pertinax now in power that that with Pertinax now in power that that with Pertinax now in power that things could go back to normal. things could go back to normal. things could go back to normal. Cometus aside, no one living had any Cometus aside, no one living had any Cometus aside, no one living had any memory of a bad emperor. Even the oldest memory of a bad emperor. Even the oldest memory of a bad emperor. Even the oldest of the old men had been born during the of the old men had been born during the of the old men had been born during the reign of reign of reign of Trejan. Pertinax himself, a venerable Trejan. Pertinax himself, a venerable Trejan. Pertinax himself, a venerable elder statesman, had been born during elder statesman, had been born during elder statesman, had been born during the reign of the reign of the reign of Hadrien. The point is that for most Hadrien. The point is that for most Hadrien. The point is that for most Romans, the default setting was good Romans, the default setting was good Romans, the default setting was good emperors reigning for a long time over a emperors reigning for a long time over a emperors reigning for a long time over a relatively quiet and stable empire.

relatively quiet and stable empire. relatively quiet and stable empire. So the reasoning went that since Pertnax So the reasoning went that since Pertnax So the reasoning went that since Pertnax was obviously not a crazy person that was obviously not a crazy person that was obviously not a crazy person that maybe the detour through Comeodus would maybe the detour through Comeodus would maybe the detour through Comeodus would prove to be just that a detour. Pertax prove to be just that a detour. Pertax prove to be just that a detour. Pertax would reign for a bit then hand power to would reign for a bit then hand power to would reign for a bit then hand power to some worthy successor and then he would some worthy successor and then he would some worthy successor and then he would pass power to some other worthy pass power to some other worthy pass power to some other worthy successor and just like that the memory successor and just like that the memory successor and just like that the memory of Comeodus already damned would be of Comeodus already damned would be of Comeodus already damned would be truly truly truly forgotten. But it was not to be. Comedus forgotten. But it was not to be. Comedus forgotten. But it was not to be. Comedus was not a detour. He was the new way was not a detour. He was the new way was not a detour. He was the new way forward. The Romans would never again forward. The Romans would never again forward. The Romans would never again return to the road they had traveled for return to the road they had traveled for return to the road they had traveled for the last century. The one paved in the last century. The one paved in the last century. The one paved in wisdom, luck, and wisdom, luck, and wisdom, luck, and competence. No, they were on a different competence. No, they were on a different competence. No, they were on a different road now. And in late March 193, the road now. And in late March 193, the road now. And in late March 193, the people of Rome discovered how far they people of Rome discovered how far they people of Rome discovered how far they had already strayed from that good, had already strayed from that good, had already strayed from that good, solid road they had enjoyed for so many solid road they had enjoyed for so many solid road they had enjoyed for so many years. The Ptorians had been indulged for too The Ptorians had been indulged for too long to simply take Pertinax's stiffing long to simply take Pertinax's stiffing long to simply take Pertinax's stiffing lying down. Well, it wasn't just the lying down. Well, it wasn't just the lying down. Well, it wasn't just the case of the missing donative. It was case of the missing donative. It was case of the missing donative. It was also the fact that Pertinax was trying also the fact that Pertinax was trying also the fact that Pertinax was trying to impose a level of discipline on the to impose a level of discipline on the to impose a level of discipline on the urban troops that they were totally urban troops that they were totally urban troops that they were totally unaccustomed to. What were they?

unaccustomed to. What were they? unaccustomed to. What were they? Provincial Provincial Provincial infantry. They had never been hippop to infantry. They had never been hippop to infantry. They had never been hippop to pertinax to begin with, but Litus had pertinax to begin with, but Litus had pertinax to begin with, but Litus had been persuasive on the night of Comedus' been persuasive on the night of Comedus' been persuasive on the night of Comedus' death, which they had always suspected death, which they had always suspected death, which they had always suspected had been murder, not an embolism. And so had been murder, not an embolism. And so had been murder, not an embolism. And so they had gone along with their they had gone along with their they had gone along with their prefect. But if the past few months had prefect. But if the past few months had prefect. But if the past few months had proved anything, it was that this proved anything, it was that this proved anything, it was that this relationship just wasn't going to work. relationship just wasn't going to work. relationship just wasn't going to work. It was time for the Ptorians to break up It was time for the Ptorians to break up It was time for the Ptorians to break up with Pertinax. On March 28th, a collection of Pertinax. On March 28th, a collection of about 300 soldiers and officers of the about 300 soldiers and officers of the about 300 soldiers and officers of the guard stormed the palace to confront the guard stormed the palace to confront the guard stormed the palace to confront the emperor. None of the soldiers or emperor. None of the soldiers or emperor. None of the soldiers or officials surrounding Pertinax had any officials surrounding Pertinax had any officials surrounding Pertinax had any desire to get in the middle of what was desire to get in the middle of what was desire to get in the middle of what was about to go down. So this armed company about to go down. So this armed company about to go down. So this armed company of Ptorians was allowed to pass of Ptorians was allowed to pass of Ptorians was allowed to pass unchallenged. Well, not totally unchallenged. Well, not totally unchallenged. Well, not totally unchallenged. Pertinax heard the unchallenged. Pertinax heard the unchallenged. Pertinax heard the commotion and dispatched Lus to go talk commotion and dispatched Lus to go talk commotion and dispatched Lus to go talk his men down. But when Litus, not his men down. But when Litus, not his men down. But when Litus, not exactly the most scrupulous guy in the exactly the most scrupulous guy in the exactly the most scrupulous guy in the world, confronted the incoming troops, world, confronted the incoming troops, world, confronted the incoming troops, he decided that joining them would be he decided that joining them would be he decided that joining them would be safer than trying to stop them. So he safer than trying to stop them. So he safer than trying to stop them. So he promptly aboutfaced and led his men promptly aboutfaced and led his men promptly aboutfaced and led his men straight to the straight to the straight to the emperor. Pertinax faced down the 300 emperor. Pertinax faced down the 300 emperor. Pertinax faced down the 300 Ptorians, well 301, I guess, at this Ptorians, well 301, I guess, at this Ptorians, well 301, I guess, at this point, and attempted to explain his point, and attempted to explain his point, and attempted to explain his position and reasonably diffuse the position and reasonably diffuse the position and reasonably diffuse the situation.

situation. situation. Whether or not his words were starting Whether or not his words were starting Whether or not his words were starting to dissuade a majority of the men became to dissuade a majority of the men became to dissuade a majority of the men became irrelevant when one of the soldiers, who irrelevant when one of the soldiers, who irrelevant when one of the soldiers, who was obviously not being dissuaded, was obviously not being dissuaded, was obviously not being dissuaded, stepped forward and slashed Pertinax stepped forward and slashed Pertinax stepped forward and slashed Pertinax with his sword, killing the emperor with his sword, killing the emperor with his sword, killing the emperor instantly. Pertinax was 66 years old and instantly. Pertinax was 66 years old and instantly. Pertinax was 66 years old and had ruled the empire for 86 days. This rash act of violence left Lus days. This rash act of violence left Lus and the Ptorians in a dilly of a pickle. and the Ptorians in a dilly of a pickle. and the Ptorians in a dilly of a pickle. As I'm sure Leus calmly explained As I'm sure Leus calmly explained As I'm sure Leus calmly explained without raising his voice or cussing without raising his voice or cussing without raising his voice or cussing anyone out, you don't just kill an anyone out, you don't just kill an anyone out, you don't just kill an emperor. At least, you don't kill an emperor. At least, you don't kill an emperor. At least, you don't kill an emperor without having a replacement emperor without having a replacement emperor without having a replacement ready to step in. Because as it stands ready to step in. Because as it stands ready to step in. Because as it stands right now, there is no emperor and no right now, there is no emperor and no right now, there is no emperor and no generally agreed upon mechanism for generally agreed upon mechanism for generally agreed upon mechanism for selecting a new one. The Senate will selecting a new one. The Senate will selecting a new one. The Senate will argue that they have the right to elect argue that they have the right to elect argue that they have the right to elect the empire's new leader. The armies out the empire's new leader. The armies out the empire's new leader. The armies out in the provinces will almost certainly in the provinces will almost certainly in the provinces will almost certainly ignore the Senate and acclaim one of ignore the Senate and acclaim one of ignore the Senate and acclaim one of their own generals. Hell, every man in their own generals. Hell, every man in their own generals. Hell, every man in the empire will have his own pet the empire will have his own pet the empire will have his own pet candidate and be more than willing to candidate and be more than willing to candidate and be more than willing to fight to the death to win this highly fight to the death to win this highly fight to the death to win this highly valuable and suddenly available prize.

valuable and suddenly available prize. valuable and suddenly available prize. This, he explained, is why you don't This, he explained, is why you don't This, he explained, is why you don't just kill an just kill an just kill an emperor. Keeping his wits about him emperor. Keeping his wits about him emperor. Keeping his wits about him though, Leus thought and determined that though, Leus thought and determined that though, Leus thought and determined that at the end of the day, the Ptorians at the end of the day, the Ptorians at the end of the day, the Ptorians still really held all the cards here. still really held all the cards here. still really held all the cards here. We'll just pick whoever we want, bully We'll just pick whoever we want, bully We'll just pick whoever we want, bully the Senate into ratifying the choice, the Senate into ratifying the choice, the Senate into ratifying the choice, and have everything wrapped up before and have everything wrapped up before and have everything wrapped up before the provincial governors even hear that the provincial governors even hear that the provincial governors even hear that Ptonax is Ptonax is Ptonax is dead. But who did the Ptorians want at dead. But who did the Ptorians want at dead. But who did the Ptorians want at that moment? What they wanted was that moment? What they wanted was that moment? What they wanted was someone who would pay up when he was someone who would pay up when he was someone who would pay up when he was supposed to pay up. That was their whole supposed to pay up. That was their whole supposed to pay up. That was their whole beef with Pertinax and the reason why beef with Pertinax and the reason why beef with Pertinax and the reason why they were standing over his bloody body they were standing over his bloody body they were standing over his bloody body trying to figure out who to replace him trying to figure out who to replace him trying to figure out who to replace him with. So Litus hit upon a great idea, a with. So Litus hit upon a great idea, a with. So Litus hit upon a great idea, a really, really great idea that was just really, really great idea that was just really, really great idea that was just really, really great. They would auction really, really great. They would auction really, really great. They would auction off the job to the highest bidder. Litus ordered his agents out bidder. Litus ordered his agents out into the city to spread the news that into the city to spread the news that into the city to spread the news that Pertinax was dead and the Ptorians were Pertinax was dead and the Ptorians were Pertinax was dead and the Ptorians were entertaining bids to be his entertaining bids to be his entertaining bids to be his replacement. What followed obviously replacement. What followed obviously replacement. What followed obviously became one of the most notorious became one of the most notorious became one of the most notorious incidents in Roman imperial history.

incidents in Roman imperial history. incidents in Roman imperial history. No self-respecting senator was going to No self-respecting senator was going to No self-respecting senator was going to get into a bidding war to win the honor get into a bidding war to win the honor get into a bidding war to win the honor of becoming the Ptorian's puppet, which of becoming the Ptorian's puppet, which of becoming the Ptorian's puppet, which meant that only senators of a more meant that only senators of a more meant that only senators of a more morally ambiguous nature were going to morally ambiguous nature were going to morally ambiguous nature were going to enter into the enter into the enter into the auction. But then again, if only morally auction. But then again, if only morally auction. But then again, if only morally ambiguous men entered in the bidding, ambiguous men entered in the bidding, ambiguous men entered in the bidding, then maybe it was the duty of a then maybe it was the duty of a then maybe it was the duty of a self-respecting senator to step in and self-respecting senator to step in and self-respecting senator to step in and out bid the bad seeds. It was quite a out bid the bad seeds. It was quite a out bid the bad seeds. It was quite a conundrum. conundrum. conundrum. In the end, events moved so quickly that In the end, events moved so quickly that In the end, events moved so quickly that the bidding came down to two men who the bidding came down to two men who the bidding came down to two men who were neither inflexibly virtuous nor were neither inflexibly virtuous nor were neither inflexibly virtuous nor necessarily terrible men. They just necessarily terrible men. They just necessarily terrible men. They just acted on their instincts, their vanity, acted on their instincts, their vanity, acted on their instincts, their vanity, and the belief that someone was going to and the belief that someone was going to and the belief that someone was going to get the job, so it might as well be get the job, so it might as well be get the job, so it might as well be them. The first was Pertinax's them. The first was Pertinax's them. The first was Pertinax's father-in-law, a man named Titus Flavius father-in-law, a man named Titus Flavius father-in-law, a man named Titus Flavius Sicianis. Sicianis. Sicianis. So Picianis had been appointed city So Picianis had been appointed city So Picianis had been appointed city prefect upon his son-in-law's ascension prefect upon his son-in-law's ascension prefect upon his son-in-law's ascension and when the company of Ptorians had and when the company of Ptorians had and when the company of Ptorians had invaded the palace, Pertinax had invaded the palace, Pertinax had invaded the palace, Pertinax had dispatched Sopicianis down to the dispatched Sopicianis down to the dispatched Sopicianis down to the Ptorian camp to hopefully quell any Ptorian camp to hopefully quell any Ptorian camp to hopefully quell any further further further unrest. So he found himself physically unrest. So he found himself physically unrest. So he found himself physically present when the murderous company present when the murderous company present when the murderous company returned base with his son-in-law's head returned base with his son-in-law's head returned base with his son-in-law's head on a spike and was the first to hear on a spike and was the first to hear on a spike and was the first to hear their plan to auction off the imperial their plan to auction off the imperial their plan to auction off the imperial throne.

throne. throne. So Pikianis, probably first out of a So Pikianis, probably first out of a So Pikianis, probably first out of a desire to simply restore order as desire to simply restore order as desire to simply restore order as quickly as possible, put in a bid. But quickly as possible, put in a bid. But quickly as possible, put in a bid. But the Btorians decided it was too low and the Btorians decided it was too low and the Btorians decided it was too low and shouted from the ramparts that anyone shouted from the ramparts that anyone shouted from the ramparts that anyone who could do better ought to come down who could do better ought to come down who could do better ought to come down straight away and do better. The second man involved in this better. The second man involved in this infamous auction and the one who would infamous auction and the one who would infamous auction and the one who would eventually win the dubious prize was eventually win the dubious prize was eventually win the dubious prize was Marcus Dius Giulianis. Marcus Dius Giulianis. Marcus Dius Giulianis. He was enjoying a lavish dinner with his He was enjoying a lavish dinner with his He was enjoying a lavish dinner with his family when the news came that the family when the news came that the family when the news came that the imperial throne was up for imperial throne was up for imperial throne was up for grabs. According to most sources, grabs. According to most sources, grabs. According to most sources, Giulianis was pushed into making a bid Giulianis was pushed into making a bid Giulianis was pushed into making a bid by his wife and daughter, who were by his wife and daughter, who were by his wife and daughter, who were themselves hungrier for power than themselves hungrier for power than themselves hungrier for power than Giulianis himself was. But sometimes I Giulianis himself was. But sometimes I Giulianis himself was. But sometimes I can't help but take these portrayals of can't help but take these portrayals of can't help but take these portrayals of shrewish Roman women with a grain of shrewish Roman women with a grain of shrewish Roman women with a grain of salt. If Giulianis needed to be pushed salt. If Giulianis needed to be pushed salt. If Giulianis needed to be pushed into it, I doubt he needed to be pushed into it, I doubt he needed to be pushed into it, I doubt he needed to be pushed very hard. very hard. very hard. But whether he jumped at the chance or But whether he jumped at the chance or But whether he jumped at the chance or had to be pushed or pulled or nudged or had to be pushed or pulled or nudged or had to be pushed or pulled or nudged or whatever, Julianis rushed from his whatever, Julianis rushed from his whatever, Julianis rushed from his banquet table down to the Ptorian banquet table down to the Ptorian banquet table down to the Ptorian camp, he was barred from actually camp, he was barred from actually camp, he was barred from actually passing through the gates by suspicious passing through the gates by suspicious passing through the gates by suspicious guards, but undeterred, he shouted his guards, but undeterred, he shouted his guards, but undeterred, he shouted his offer over the offer over the offer over the walls. The men on the ramparts dutifully walls. The men on the ramparts dutifully walls. The men on the ramparts dutifully relayed Giulianis' bid to their comrades relayed Giulianis' bid to their comrades relayed Giulianis' bid to their comrades in the center of camp, and so Pikianis in the center of camp, and so Pikianis in the center of camp, and so Pikianis upped his bid accordingly.

upped his bid accordingly. upped his bid accordingly. The men raced back to the wall where The men raced back to the wall where The men raced back to the wall where they told Giulianis what the new price they told Giulianis what the new price they told Giulianis what the new price was and Giulianis upped his own bid was and Giulianis upped his own bid was and Giulianis upped his own bid accordingly. Now this is what the accordingly. Now this is what the accordingly. Now this is what the Ptorians had in Ptorians had in Ptorians had in mind. Finally, Sopicianis offered 20,000 mind. Finally, Sopicianis offered 20,000 mind. Finally, Sopicianis offered 20,000 cesterers ahead for the privilege of cesterers ahead for the privilege of cesterers ahead for the privilege of becoming emperor. An absurd sum that becoming emperor. An absurd sum that becoming emperor. An absurd sum that equaled something like 8 times the equaled something like 8 times the equaled something like 8 times the annual salary of the average Ptorian. annual salary of the average Ptorian. annual salary of the average Ptorian. But Giulianis, caught up in the moment But Giulianis, caught up in the moment But Giulianis, caught up in the moment and determined not to lose, promised and determined not to lose, promised and determined not to lose, promised 25,000 Cersei ahead. 25,000 Cersei ahead. 25,000 Cersei ahead. At this last offer, the Ptorians were At this last offer, the Ptorians were At this last offer, the Ptorians were satisfied and maybe worried that satisfied and maybe worried that satisfied and maybe worried that continuing the auction would lead both continuing the auction would lead both continuing the auction would lead both men to walk away from the table, men to walk away from the table, men to walk away from the table, declared Giulianis the winner, ushered declared Giulianis the winner, ushered declared Giulianis the winner, ushered him into camp and acclaimed him him into camp and acclaimed him him into camp and acclaimed him emperor, proving that he was not totally emperor, proving that he was not totally emperor, proving that he was not totally morally bankrupt, which he really morally bankrupt, which he really morally bankrupt, which he really wasn't. Giulianis stipulated that his wasn't. Giulianis stipulated that his wasn't. Giulianis stipulated that his promised donative was contingent upon no promised donative was contingent upon no promised donative was contingent upon no harm coming to Sulpicianis. harm coming to Sulpicianis. harm coming to Sulpicianis. The Ptorians agreed and let the losing The Ptorians agreed and let the losing The Ptorians agreed and let the losing bidder go, though he had to see himself bidder go, though he had to see himself bidder go, though he had to see himself out as the soldiers were all temporarily out as the soldiers were all temporarily out as the soldiers were all temporarily blinded by the massive dollar signs in blinded by the massive dollar signs in blinded by the massive dollar signs in their their their eyes. They were all about to be rich eyes. They were all about to be rich eyes. They were all about to be rich men. They should really do this more men. They should really do this more men. They should really do this more often. The Ptorians then marched out often. The Ptorians then marched out often. The Ptorians then marched out into the streets to rouse the Senate and into the streets to rouse the Senate and into the streets to rouse the Senate and demand that they assemble at once to demand that they assemble at once to demand that they assemble at once to make their choice official.

make their choice official. make their choice official. They came down to the forum and after They came down to the forum and after They came down to the forum and after listening to Giulianis make a speech listening to Giulianis make a speech listening to Giulianis make a speech about how all of this wasn't nearly as about how all of this wasn't nearly as about how all of this wasn't nearly as dishonorable as it appeared and dishonorable as it appeared and dishonorable as it appeared and reminding them that they all knew him reminding them that they all knew him reminding them that they all knew him and knew him well, that he was a good and knew him well, that he was a good and knew him well, that he was a good man and he would lead the empire back to man and he would lead the empire back to man and he would lead the empire back to glory. With armed soldiers literally glory. With armed soldiers literally glory. With armed soldiers literally standing over their shoulders, the standing over their shoulders, the standing over their shoulders, the Senate nodded in agreement and Ddius Senate nodded in agreement and Ddius Senate nodded in agreement and Ddius Giulianis became emperor. Now what he had said was emperor. Now what he had said was basically true. Marcus Ddidius Giulianis basically true. Marcus Ddidius Giulianis basically true. Marcus Ddidius Giulianis had been around a long time, was had been around a long time, was had been around a long time, was wellknown, and not for infamous wellknown, and not for infamous wellknown, and not for infamous reasons. He'd been born in the 130s, the reasons. He'd been born in the 130s, the reasons. He'd been born in the 130s, the exact date is under dispute, to an exact date is under dispute, to an exact date is under dispute, to an Italian father and a Roman African Italian father and a Roman African Italian father and a Roman African mother, both of whom came from mother, both of whom came from mother, both of whom came from distinguished senatorial distinguished senatorial distinguished senatorial families. By a stroke of luck, he wound families. By a stroke of luck, he wound families. By a stroke of luck, he wound up being raised in the home of Didia up being raised in the home of Didia up being raised in the home of Didia Lucilla, the mother of Marcus Aurelius. Lucilla, the mother of Marcus Aurelius. Lucilla, the mother of Marcus Aurelius. He didn't have much contact with Marcus, He didn't have much contact with Marcus, He didn't have much contact with Marcus, who was at least 15 years his senior. who was at least 15 years his senior. who was at least 15 years his senior. But when Marcus became emperor, it did But when Marcus became emperor, it did But when Marcus became emperor, it did not hurt Giulianis' career one bit that not hurt Giulianis' career one bit that not hurt Giulianis' career one bit that he was a favorite of the emperor's he was a favorite of the emperor's he was a favorite of the emperor's mother. He climbed up the curses honor mother. He climbed up the curses honor mother. He climbed up the curses honor him in brisk fashion. And when the Marco him in brisk fashion. And when the Marco him in brisk fashion. And when the Marco Manic Wars broke out, he found himself Manic Wars broke out, he found himself Manic Wars broke out, he found himself the governor of Upper Germany, which the governor of Upper Germany, which the governor of Upper Germany, which while not exactly the front lines, was while not exactly the front lines, was while not exactly the front lines, was still a key theater of the war.

still a key theater of the war. still a key theater of the war. Giulianis and his fellows along the Rine Giulianis and his fellows along the Rine Giulianis and his fellows along the Rine were tasked with fending off attacks on were tasked with fending off attacks on were tasked with fending off attacks on the Lime Germanicus and preventing the the Lime Germanicus and preventing the the Lime Germanicus and preventing the Germans from even thinking about Germans from even thinking about Germans from even thinking about expanding the expanding the expanding the conflict. Giulianis was completely conflict. Giulianis was completely conflict. Giulianis was completely successful in his mission and deafly successful in his mission and deafly successful in his mission and deafly deflected numerous attempts at invasion deflected numerous attempts at invasion deflected numerous attempts at invasion from local tribes allied with the from local tribes allied with the from local tribes allied with the Marcomi. As a reward for his good work, Marcomi. As a reward for his good work, Marcomi. As a reward for his good work, as I mentioned before, he was given a as I mentioned before, he was given a as I mentioned before, he was given a console ship in 175 along with console ship in 175 along with console ship in 175 along with Pertinax. During the reign of Comeodus, Pertinax. During the reign of Comeodus, Pertinax. During the reign of Comeodus, he mostly kept his head down and despite he mostly kept his head down and despite he mostly kept his head down and despite being accused of involvement in one of being accused of involvement in one of being accused of involvement in one of the various plots against the emperor's the various plots against the emperor's the various plots against the emperor's life, he was acquitted and wound up life, he was acquitted and wound up life, he was acquitted and wound up serving as provincial governor in serving as provincial governor in serving as provincial governor in Bethnia and then later succeeded Bethnia and then later succeeded Bethnia and then later succeeded Pertinax as proconsul of Africa. Pertinax as proconsul of Africa. Pertinax as proconsul of Africa. He was back in Rome and enjoying the He was back in Rome and enjoying the He was back in Rome and enjoying the life of a wealthy aristocrat during the life of a wealthy aristocrat during the life of a wealthy aristocrat during the last year of Comedus' reign, however last year of Comedus' reign, however last year of Comedus' reign, however much a wealthy aristocrat could enjoy much a wealthy aristocrat could enjoy much a wealthy aristocrat could enjoy his life with Comedus' mad whims hanging his life with Comedus' mad whims hanging his life with Comedus' mad whims hanging over his head all the time, and was over his head all the time, and was over his head all the time, and was finally, as I said, enjoying a nice finally, as I said, enjoying a nice finally, as I said, enjoying a nice dinner when Pertinax was murdered.

dinner when Pertinax was murdered. dinner when Pertinax was murdered. Before the sun rose the next morning, he Before the sun rose the next morning, he Before the sun rose the next morning, he was in the Imperial Palace, and likely was in the Imperial Palace, and likely was in the Imperial Palace, and likely wondering if the night's events had been wondering if the night's events had been wondering if the night's events had been a strange a strange a strange dream. But it was no dream. Giulianis dream. But it was no dream. Giulianis dream. But it was no dream. Giulianis was emperor. It was time for the was emperor. It was time for the was emperor. It was time for the Ptorians to initiate the final phase of Ptorians to initiate the final phase of Ptorians to initiate the final phase of their brilliant plan. Kick back and live their brilliant plan. Kick back and live their brilliant plan. Kick back and live like like like kings. But this final phase was premised kings. But this final phase was premised kings. But this final phase was premised on the assumption that there would be no on the assumption that there would be no on the assumption that there would be no repercussions for the double crime of repercussions for the double crime of repercussions for the double crime of murdering Pertinax and selling off the murdering Pertinax and selling off the murdering Pertinax and selling off the throne. This was, as you can imagine, as throne. This was, as you can imagine, as throne. This was, as you can imagine, as faulty an assumption as there has ever faulty an assumption as there has ever faulty an assumption as there has ever been in a long history of faulty been in a long history of faulty been in a long history of faulty assumptions. assumptions. assumptions. In the full light of day, the magnitude In the full light of day, the magnitude In the full light of day, the magnitude of how faulty that assumption was became of how faulty that assumption was became of how faulty that assumption was became all too all too all too clear. When Giulianis traveled through clear. When Giulianis traveled through clear. When Giulianis traveled through the streets, he was hissed at and booed the streets, he was hissed at and booed the streets, he was hissed at and booed at by the people who called him names at by the people who called him names at by the people who called him names and pelted him with rocks. The Senate, and pelted him with rocks. The Senate, and pelted him with rocks. The Senate, with swords in their faces, had agreed with swords in their faces, had agreed with swords in their faces, had agreed to honor his claim to the throne. But to to honor his claim to the throne. But to to honor his claim to the throne. But to a man they now reviled Giulianis and a man they now reviled Giulianis and a man they now reviled Giulianis and considered his residence in the imperial considered his residence in the imperial considered his residence in the imperial palace a palace a palace a mockery. If Pertinax's mistake had been mockery. If Pertinax's mistake had been mockery. If Pertinax's mistake had been ignoring the Ptorians, Giulianis' crime ignoring the Ptorians, Giulianis' crime ignoring the Ptorians, Giulianis' crime was in paying them exclusive was in paying them exclusive was in paying them exclusive attention. Because outside the couple of attention. Because outside the couple of attention. Because outside the couple of thousand members of the guard, no one thousand members of the guard, no one thousand members of the guard, no one else supported him. And there was a lot else supported him. And there was a lot else supported him. And there was a lot more men in the provincial armies than more men in the provincial armies than more men in the provincial armies than there were in the urban cohorts, if you there were in the urban cohorts, if you there were in the urban cohorts, if you catch my drift. Next week, the chickens will come drift. Next week, the chickens will come home to roost. None of the governors out home to roost. None of the governors out home to roost. None of the governors out in the provinces had any intention of

in the provinces had any intention of in the provinces had any intention of offering feelalty to this imperial offering feelalty to this imperial offering feelalty to this imperial impostor. And the three most powerful, impostor. And the three most powerful, impostor. And the three most powerful, Septimus Severis and Pannonia, Claudius Septimus Severis and Pannonia, Claudius Septimus Severis and Pannonia, Claudius Albinus in Britain, and Pascanius Niger Albinus in Britain, and Pascanius Niger Albinus in Britain, and Pascanius Niger in Syria, will each further intend not in Syria, will each further intend not in Syria, will each further intend not only to brush aside Giulianis and his only to brush aside Giulianis and his only to brush aside Giulianis and his ridiculous claims to the throne, but to ridiculous claims to the throne, but to ridiculous claims to the throne, but to step in and take power for themselves. step in and take power for themselves. step in and take power for themselves. [Music] Hello and and welcome to the history of Hello and and welcome to the history of Rome, episode 99. What evil have I Rome, episode 99. What evil have I Rome, episode 99. What evil have I done? So, the Ptorians had pulled off done? So, the Ptorians had pulled off done? So, the Ptorians had pulled off the perfect crime. They had murdered an the perfect crime. They had murdered an the perfect crime. They had murdered an emperor and replaced him with a man emperor and replaced him with a man emperor and replaced him with a man whose only claim to the throne was that whose only claim to the throne was that whose only claim to the throne was that he had promised to pay them all a he had promised to pay them all a he had promised to pay them all a boatload of cash. Yep, they were set for boatload of cash. Yep, they were set for boatload of cash. Yep, they were set for life and nothing could touch them. They life and nothing could touch them. They life and nothing could touch them. They were, after all, the Ptorian Guard. The were, after all, the Ptorian Guard. The were, after all, the Ptorian Guard. The Ptorian Ptorian Ptorian Guard. While Commodus reigned, the Guard. While Commodus reigned, the Guard. While Commodus reigned, the various cabals of corrupt imperial various cabals of corrupt imperial various cabals of corrupt imperial officials who came and went over the officials who came and went over the officials who came and went over the years had wielded near absolute power years had wielded near absolute power years had wielded near absolute power over the people, and the Ptorians had

over the people, and the Ptorians had over the people, and the Ptorians had been the iron hand keeping them all in been the iron hand keeping them all in been the iron hand keeping them all in line. So perhaps the last 12 years had line. So perhaps the last 12 years had line. So perhaps the last 12 years had made the guard a bit made the guard a bit made the guard a bit myopic. What they were forgetting was myopic. What they were forgetting was myopic. What they were forgetting was that Cometus had paid enough attention that Cometus had paid enough attention that Cometus had paid enough attention to the provincial legions that they to the provincial legions that they to the provincial legions that they never really considered rebellion. Plus, never really considered rebellion. Plus, never really considered rebellion. Plus, he was the son of Marcus Aurelius, who he was the son of Marcus Aurelius, who he was the son of Marcus Aurelius, who was the son of Antonyinus, who was the was the son of Antonyinus, who was the was the son of Antonyinus, who was the son of Hadrien, who was the son of son of Hadrien, who was the son of son of Hadrien, who was the son of Trajan. The legitimacy of his rule was Trajan. The legitimacy of his rule was Trajan. The legitimacy of his rule was never really in question. Maybe his never really in question. Maybe his never really in question. Maybe his antics left something to be desired, but antics left something to be desired, but antics left something to be desired, but it's not like anyone could really mount it's not like anyone could really mount it's not like anyone could really mount a legal brief proving that they had more a legal brief proving that they had more a legal brief proving that they had more of a claim to the throne than Comedus, of a claim to the throne than Comedus, of a claim to the throne than Comedus, son of Marcus, son of Antonyinus, etc., son of Marcus, son of Antonyinus, etc., son of Marcus, son of Antonyinus, etc., etc. But now, well, in their hubris, the etc. But now, well, in their hubris, the etc. But now, well, in their hubris, the Ptorians had missed the fact that Ptorians had missed the fact that Ptorians had missed the fact that killing Pertinax and putting Giulianis killing Pertinax and putting Giulianis killing Pertinax and putting Giulianis in power meant that all bets were now in power meant that all bets were now in power meant that all bets were now off. It did not take long for the off. It did not take long for the off. It did not take long for the Ptorians to realize their Ptorians to realize their Ptorians to realize their mistake. Word spread quickly about what mistake. Word spread quickly about what mistake. Word spread quickly about what had happened to Pertinax and what had had happened to Pertinax and what had had happened to Pertinax and what had happened after he was dead. happened after he was dead. happened after he was dead. The leading governors across the empire, The leading governors across the empire, The leading governors across the empire, each on their own initiative, refused to each on their own initiative, refused to each on their own initiative, refused to recognize Giulianis's lawful emperor and recognize Giulianis's lawful emperor and recognize Giulianis's lawful emperor and instead simply got down to the business instead simply got down to the business instead simply got down to the business of deciding who they wanted to replace of deciding who they wanted to replace of deciding who they wanted to replace Giulianis Giulianis Giulianis with. Coincidentally, the answer each with. Coincidentally, the answer each with. Coincidentally, the answer each one of them came up with was the same, one of them came up with was the same, one of them came up with was the same, me. In April 193, Claudius Albinus, me. In April 193, Claudius Albinus, me. In April 193, Claudius Albinus, Septimius Severis, and Pescanius Niger Septimius Severis, and Pescanius Niger Septimius Severis, and Pescanius Niger each stood at the head of their armies, each stood at the head of their armies, each stood at the head of their armies, and vowing to revenge the murder of and vowing to revenge the murder of and vowing to revenge the murder of Pertinax and restore dignity to the Pertinax and restore dignity to the Pertinax and restore dignity to the empire, they were each hailed emperor by

empire, they were each hailed emperor by empire, they were each hailed emperor by their assembled troops. Well, their assembled troops. Well, their assembled troops. Well, technically Albinus refused the title technically Albinus refused the title technically Albinus refused the title emperor, but the effect was the same. emperor, but the effect was the same. emperor, but the effect was the same. This meant that unless they could come This meant that unless they could come This meant that unless they could come to some sort of agreement with one to some sort of agreement with one to some sort of agreement with one another, this trifecta of pretenders another, this trifecta of pretenders another, this trifecta of pretenders meant only one thing, civil meant only one thing, civil meant only one thing, civil war. And I don't want to give anything war. And I don't want to give anything war. And I don't want to give anything away. But guess what? They don't really away. But guess what? They don't really away. But guess what? They don't really come to an agreement with one come to an agreement with one come to an agreement with one another. As quickly as word reached the another. As quickly as word reached the another. As quickly as word reached the legionary camps that Giulianis was legionary camps that Giulianis was legionary camps that Giulianis was emperor, word came back to Giulianis emperor, word came back to Giulianis emperor, word came back to Giulianis that, "Yeah, right. Want to bet?" that, "Yeah, right. Want to bet?" that, "Yeah, right. Want to bet?" But having mortgaged a great deal of his But having mortgaged a great deal of his But having mortgaged a great deal of his honor in buying the imperial throne, honor in buying the imperial throne, honor in buying the imperial throne, Giulianis was not prepared to just give Giulianis was not prepared to just give Giulianis was not prepared to just give it up at the first sign of trouble. He it up at the first sign of trouble. He it up at the first sign of trouble. He was an experienced commander and was an experienced commander and was an experienced commander and administrator. Now was the time to administrator. Now was the time to administrator. Now was the time to muster all that experience and fight to muster all that experience and fight to muster all that experience and fight to keep what he had paid keep what he had paid keep what he had paid for. He rightly concluded that Niger and for. He rightly concluded that Niger and for. He rightly concluded that Niger and Albinus were too far away to pose an Albinus were too far away to pose an Albinus were too far away to pose an immediate threat. But Septimius Severis immediate threat. But Septimius Severis immediate threat. But Septimius Severis and Pannonia, that right there was most and Pannonia, that right there was most and Pannonia, that right there was most definitely an immediate threat.

definitely an immediate threat. definitely an immediate threat. The discipline of the Danube legions and The discipline of the Danube legions and The discipline of the Danube legions and the quality of the Roman roads meant the quality of the Roman roads meant the quality of the Roman roads meant that if he wanted to, Severis could that if he wanted to, Severis could that if he wanted to, Severis could march his army to the gates of Rome in a march his army to the gates of Rome in a march his army to the gates of Rome in a matter of weeks. Severis had to be matter of weeks. Severis had to be matter of weeks. Severis had to be neutralized neutralized neutralized immediately. So for the crime of treason immediately. So for the crime of treason immediately. So for the crime of treason against the new emperor, Giulianis, against the new emperor, Giulianis, against the new emperor, Giulianis, again with armed soldiers literally again with armed soldiers literally again with armed soldiers literally standing over the Senate's shoulders, standing over the Senate's shoulders, standing over the Senate's shoulders, induced the body to declare Severis a induced the body to declare Severis a induced the body to declare Severis a public enemy and pass a sentence of public enemy and pass a sentence of public enemy and pass a sentence of death against the rogue general. Severis, meanwhile, wasted no time Severis, meanwhile, wasted no time breaking camp. He knew, just as breaking camp. He knew, just as breaking camp. He knew, just as Giulianis knew, that he was the closest Giulianis knew, that he was the closest Giulianis knew, that he was the closest of the provincial generals to of the provincial generals to of the provincial generals to Rome. If he moved fast, he would be able Rome. If he moved fast, he would be able Rome. If he moved fast, he would be able to beat Albinus and Niger to the punch to beat Albinus and Niger to the punch to beat Albinus and Niger to the punch and invoking the old possession 9/10en and invoking the old possession 9/10en and invoking the old possession 9/10en of the law thing, dare them to challenge of the law thing, dare them to challenge of the law thing, dare them to challenge him, not Giulianis, for control of the him, not Giulianis, for control of the him, not Giulianis, for control of the capital. capital. capital. Plus, once Giulianis, the dishonorable Plus, once Giulianis, the dishonorable Plus, once Giulianis, the dishonorable usurper, was ousted and our beloved usurper, was ousted and our beloved usurper, was ousted and our beloved Pertinax avenged, a lot of the Pertinax avenged, a lot of the Pertinax avenged, a lot of the rhetorical win would go out of their rhetorical win would go out of their rhetorical win would go out of their arguments. Gibbon estimated that with arguments. Gibbon estimated that with arguments. Gibbon estimated that with the prize of supreme power in sight that the prize of supreme power in sight that the prize of supreme power in sight that Severis pushed his troops to the limit Severis pushed his troops to the limit Severis pushed his troops to the limit and marched them at a clip of about 20 m and marched them at a clip of about 20 m and marched them at a clip of about 20 m a day toward a day toward a day toward Rome. As he was on the move, Severis had Rome. As he was on the move, Severis had Rome. As he was on the move, Severis had a Machavelian a Machavelian a Machavelian brainstorm. His next closest rival, brainstorm. His next closest rival, brainstorm. His next closest rival, geographically speaking, was Albinus up geographically speaking, was Albinus up geographically speaking, was Albinus up in Britain. Albinus was an excellent in Britain. Albinus was an excellent in Britain. Albinus was an excellent commander, and the British legions, commander, and the British legions, commander, and the British legions, while lacking some of the prestige of while lacking some of the prestige of while lacking some of the prestige of Severis's Danube troops, was still a

Severis's Danube troops, was still a Severis's Danube troops, was still a formidable army. There was little doubt, formidable army. There was little doubt, formidable army. There was little doubt, though, that in the end, Pascinius though, that in the end, Pascinius though, that in the end, Pascinius Niger, who would be able to muster the Niger, who would be able to muster the Niger, who would be able to muster the full resources of the rich eastern full resources of the rich eastern full resources of the rich eastern Empire, would prove to be Sever's more Empire, would prove to be Sever's more Empire, would prove to be Sever's more formidable opponent. formidable opponent. formidable opponent. So Severis sent a note up to Albinus, So Severis sent a note up to Albinus, So Severis sent a note up to Albinus, who was also, by the way, the youngest who was also, by the way, the youngest who was also, by the way, the youngest of the three, promising that if Albinus of the three, promising that if Albinus of the three, promising that if Albinus backed Severis's emperor, Severis would backed Severis's emperor, Severis would backed Severis's emperor, Severis would name Albinus Caesar, effectively making name Albinus Caesar, effectively making name Albinus Caesar, effectively making him the air him the air him the air parent. Albinus, in part because it parent. Albinus, in part because it parent. Albinus, in part because it satisfied his personal ambition, but satisfied his personal ambition, but satisfied his personal ambition, but also in part because aligning with also in part because aligning with also in part because aligning with Severis would head off civil war, agreed Severis would head off civil war, agreed Severis would head off civil war, agreed to the terms, and just like that, to the terms, and just like that, to the terms, and just like that, Septimius Severis had locked up the Septimius Severis had locked up the Septimius Severis had locked up the whole Western Empire. whole Western Empire. whole Western Empire. Whether he was aware of these further Whether he was aware of these further Whether he was aware of these further developments is unknown, but it didn't developments is unknown, but it didn't developments is unknown, but it didn't really matter. Giulianis was already really matter. Giulianis was already really matter. Giulianis was already stricken by the justifiable fear that he stricken by the justifiable fear that he stricken by the justifiable fear that he had nothing at his disposal that could had nothing at his disposal that could had nothing at his disposal that could match up against the three Panonian match up against the three Panonian match up against the three Panonian legions. Tossing in the British troops legions. Tossing in the British troops legions. Tossing in the British troops was really just piling on.

was really just piling on. was really just piling on. So, still scrambling for any means of So, still scrambling for any means of So, still scrambling for any means of survival, he sent a group of senators survival, he sent a group of senators survival, he sent a group of senators north to convince the Penonian troops north to convince the Penonian troops north to convince the Penonian troops with a bundle of carrots and sticks that with a bundle of carrots and sticks that with a bundle of carrots and sticks that they ought to abandon their leader they ought to abandon their leader they ought to abandon their leader cause. However, doubting that the cause. However, doubting that the cause. However, doubting that the delegation would have much of an effect, delegation would have much of an effect, delegation would have much of an effect, Giulianis also sent some handpicked men Giulianis also sent some handpicked men Giulianis also sent some handpicked men on a secret mission to just assassinate on a secret mission to just assassinate on a secret mission to just assassinate Severis and be done with him. By hook or Severis and be done with him. By hook or Severis and be done with him. By hook or crook, Severis had to be stopped before crook, Severis had to be stopped before crook, Severis had to be stopped before he reached Rome, or else Giulianis was he reached Rome, or else Giulianis was he reached Rome, or else Giulianis was doomed. doomed. doomed. While he waited to hear how his various While he waited to hear how his various While he waited to hear how his various missions turned out, he set what men he missions turned out, he set what men he missions turned out, he set what men he had, that is the Ptorians in the urban had, that is the Ptorians in the urban had, that is the Ptorians in the urban cohorts to work fortifying the city and cohorts to work fortifying the city and cohorts to work fortifying the city and drilling for battle to keep their minds drilling for battle to keep their minds drilling for battle to keep their minds from dwelling on the fact that they were from dwelling on the fact that they were from dwelling on the fact that they were all probably dead all probably dead all probably dead men. Severis passed into Italy without men. Severis passed into Italy without men. Severis passed into Italy without meeting any resistance and occupied meeting any resistance and occupied meeting any resistance and occupied Ravena, home of the Imperial fleet, Ravena, home of the Imperial fleet, Ravena, home of the Imperial fleet, simply by showing up and announcing that simply by showing up and announcing that simply by showing up and announcing that he was now occupying Ravena. he was now occupying Ravena. he was now occupying Ravena. With eventual victory all but assured, With eventual victory all but assured, With eventual victory all but assured, Severis was finally met by the various Severis was finally met by the various Severis was finally met by the various delegation sent by Giulianis to talk him delegation sent by Giulianis to talk him delegation sent by Giulianis to talk him out of it or kill him or out of it or kill him or out of it or kill him or whatever. The assassination squad was whatever. The assassination squad was whatever. The assassination squad was detected long before it got close to detected long before it got close to detected long before it got close to Severis and failed to penetrate the Severis and failed to penetrate the Severis and failed to penetrate the general's outer circle, let alone his general's outer circle, let alone his general's outer circle, let alone his inner inner inner one. The senators, though, were allowed one. The senators, though, were allowed one. The senators, though, were allowed to meet the general and make their case.

to meet the general and make their case. to meet the general and make their case. Far from convincing Severis to abandon Far from convincing Severis to abandon Far from convincing Severis to abandon his cause or the troops to abandon his cause or the troops to abandon his cause or the troops to abandon Severis, the group heard what Severis Severis, the group heard what Severis Severis, the group heard what Severis had to say, namely that Giulianis did had to say, namely that Giulianis did had to say, namely that Giulianis did not stand a chance and that he was about not stand a chance and that he was about not stand a chance and that he was about to become emperor. They immediately to become emperor. They immediately to become emperor. They immediately switched switched switched sides. The desperate Giulianis then sides. The desperate Giulianis then sides. The desperate Giulianis then ordered a token force north to try to ordered a token force north to try to ordered a token force north to try to halt the incoming Penonian legions, but halt the incoming Penonian legions, but halt the incoming Penonian legions, but they were brushed aside with hardly a they were brushed aside with hardly a they were brushed aside with hardly a fight. fight. fight. The only notable thing about the The only notable thing about the The only notable thing about the skirmish is that it was the first time skirmish is that it was the first time skirmish is that it was the first time Romans had fought Romans in 124 years. Romans had fought Romans in 124 years. Romans had fought Romans in 124 years. It would not by any means be the last. As he continued south, towns and last. As he continued south, towns and cities threw their doors open to Severis cities threw their doors open to Severis cities threw their doors open to Severis and hailed him and hailed him and hailed him emperor. So, not only had Giulianis emperor. So, not only had Giulianis emperor. So, not only had Giulianis failed to stop Severis, but his rival failed to stop Severis, but his rival failed to stop Severis, but his rival was picking up steam and shrouding was picking up steam and shrouding was picking up steam and shrouding himself in something of an aura of himself in something of an aura of himself in something of an aura of inevitability. inevitability. inevitability. panicked. Giulianiana sent a message panicked. Giulianiana sent a message panicked. Giulianiana sent a message north to his rival declaring that he north to his rival declaring that he north to his rival declaring that he would be open to discussing some sort of would be open to discussing some sort of would be open to discussing some sort of power sharing power sharing power sharing agreement. But Severis knew what the agreement. But Severis knew what the agreement. But Severis knew what the score was and he flatly rejected the score was and he flatly rejected the score was and he flatly rejected the offer. He stopped about 70 mi north of offer. He stopped about 70 mi north of offer. He stopped about 70 mi north of Rome in late May 193 and prepared for Rome in late May 193 and prepared for Rome in late May 193 and prepared for his final march on the his final march on the his final march on the city. He didn't want to take it by city. He didn't want to take it by city. He didn't want to take it by force, though. After all, he was about force, though. After all, he was about force, though. After all, he was about to have to lead these people. And if he to have to lead these people. And if he to have to lead these people. And if he wanted to stay in office longer than wanted to stay in office longer than wanted to stay in office longer than Giulianis, he couldn't kick things off Giulianis, he couldn't kick things off Giulianis, he couldn't kick things off by making a bloody mess of the capital.

by making a bloody mess of the capital. by making a bloody mess of the capital. So, he opened negotiations to isolate So, he opened negotiations to isolate So, he opened negotiations to isolate Giulianis and remove him from power Giulianis and remove him from power Giulianis and remove him from power peacefully. He started by informing the peacefully. He started by informing the peacefully. He started by informing the Ptorians that they would not be punished Ptorians that they would not be punished Ptorians that they would not be punished if they agreed to hand over the men who if they agreed to hand over the men who if they agreed to hand over the men who had killed Pertinax. had killed Pertinax. had killed Pertinax. After about 17 seconds of debate, they After about 17 seconds of debate, they After about 17 seconds of debate, they agreed to the terms and delivered Lus agreed to the terms and delivered Lus agreed to the terms and delivered Lus and the others to Severis's and the others to Severis's and the others to Severis's men. Not a man to beat around the bush, men. Not a man to beat around the bush, men. Not a man to beat around the bush, Severis had them all killed immediately. This show of murderous immediately. This show of murderous resolve convinced all the men resolve convinced all the men resolve convinced all the men surrounding Giulianis that the time to surrounding Giulianis that the time to surrounding Giulianis that the time to abandon the doomed foe emperor was right abandon the doomed foe emperor was right abandon the doomed foe emperor was right about about about now. The Ptorians informed the Senate now. The Ptorians informed the Senate now. The Ptorians informed the Senate that they no longer supported Giulianis. that they no longer supported Giulianis. that they no longer supported Giulianis. And on June 1st, the Senate responded by And on June 1st, the Senate responded by And on June 1st, the Senate responded by declaring Severis the lawful emperor and declaring Severis the lawful emperor and declaring Severis the lawful emperor and Giulianis an enemy of the Giulianis an enemy of the Giulianis an enemy of the state. The exact circumstances of state. The exact circumstances of state. The exact circumstances of Giulianis's fate are variously told, but Giulianis's fate are variously told, but Giulianis's fate are variously told, but the most common version is that the the most common version is that the the most common version is that the defrock Giulianis, now left miserably defrock Giulianis, now left miserably defrock Giulianis, now left miserably alone in the palace, was apprehended by alone in the palace, was apprehended by alone in the palace, was apprehended by a company of soldiers, marched into a a company of soldiers, marched into a a company of soldiers, marched into a private chamber, and beheaded. His last private chamber, and beheaded. His last private chamber, and beheaded. His last words were recorded as the pitiful but words were recorded as the pitiful but words were recorded as the pitiful but not entirely unjustified plea. What evil not entirely unjustified plea. What evil not entirely unjustified plea. What evil have I done? Whom have I have I done? Whom have I have I done? Whom have I killed? He was either 56 or 58 years old killed? He was either 56 or 58 years old killed? He was either 56 or 58 years old and had ruled Rome for a grand total of and had ruled Rome for a grand total of and had ruled Rome for a grand total of 66 days. With Giulianis opposed and both days. With Giulianis opposed and both the Senate and Ptorians declaring him the Senate and Ptorians declaring him the Senate and Ptorians declaring him their sovereign, Septimius Severis

their sovereign, Septimius Severis their sovereign, Septimius Severis became emperor of the Roman became emperor of the Roman became emperor of the Roman Empire. His claim to power was not Empire. His claim to power was not Empire. His claim to power was not totally secure and there was still much totally secure and there was still much totally secure and there was still much to be done. But I don't think I'm giving to be done. But I don't think I'm giving to be done. But I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say that he will anything away when I say that he will anything away when I say that he will successfully outmaneuver his rivals and successfully outmaneuver his rivals and successfully outmaneuver his rivals and in the process found a new imperial in the process found a new imperial in the process found a new imperial dynasty that will rule Rome more or less dynasty that will rule Rome more or less dynasty that will rule Rome more or less uninterrupted for the next 42 uninterrupted for the next 42 uninterrupted for the next 42 years. It was when you get right down to years. It was when you get right down to years. It was when you get right down to it quite a feat for an obscure halfpunic it quite a feat for an obscure halfpunic it quite a feat for an obscure halfpunic half Roman equite from Libya. Lucius Septimius Severis had been Libya. Lucius Septimius Severis had been born in 145 in the province of Africa born in 145 in the province of Africa born in 145 in the province of Africa right at the beginning of the golden age right at the beginning of the golden age right at the beginning of the golden age of of of Antonyinus. His father was a native Antonyinus. His father was a native Antonyinus. His father was a native though thoroughly romanized African of though thoroughly romanized African of though thoroughly romanized African of equestrian rank but his mother was equestrian rank but his mother was equestrian rank but his mother was Italian and related to a prominent Roman Italian and related to a prominent Roman Italian and related to a prominent Roman family. Though his own immediate family family. Though his own immediate family family. Though his own immediate family was not particularly influential, his was not particularly influential, his was not particularly influential, his father apparently never held political father apparently never held political father apparently never held political office. He had two cousins back in office. He had two cousins back in office. He had two cousins back in Italy, Uncle Publius and Uncle Gas, who Italy, Uncle Publius and Uncle Gas, who Italy, Uncle Publius and Uncle Gas, who would both serve as consoles during the would both serve as consoles during the would both serve as consoles during the reign of reign of reign of Antonyinus. Gas Septimus Severis in Antonyinus. Gas Septimus Severis in Antonyinus. Gas Septimus Severis in particular would be the bridge young particular would be the bridge young particular would be the bridge young Lucius used to cross over from obscurity Lucius used to cross over from obscurity Lucius used to cross over from obscurity to prominence.

to prominence. to prominence. The details of his youth are not The details of his youth are not The details of his youth are not particularly wellknown, but he was particularly wellknown, but he was particularly wellknown, but he was educated as much as a minor provincial educated as much as a minor provincial educated as much as a minor provincial family could afford. And by the time he family could afford. And by the time he family could afford. And by the time he was 17, his expressed interest in making was 17, his expressed interest in making was 17, his expressed interest in making more of himself than his father had led more of himself than his father had led more of himself than his father had led Uncle G to recommend him to the new Uncle G to recommend him to the new Uncle G to recommend him to the new emperor Marcus emperor Marcus emperor Marcus Aurelius. But despite the endorsement, Aurelius. But despite the endorsement, Aurelius. But despite the endorsement, giving some young provincial a special giving some young provincial a special giving some young provincial a special leg up wasn't on Marcus' to-do list at leg up wasn't on Marcus' to-do list at leg up wasn't on Marcus' to-do list at the time, and soverees languished in a the time, and soverees languished in a the time, and soverees languished in a sort of limbo, waiting patiently to sort of limbo, waiting patiently to sort of limbo, waiting patiently to reach the minimum age to serve as reach the minimum age to serve as reach the minimum age to serve as quester, when it was hoped that Marcus quester, when it was hoped that Marcus quester, when it was hoped that Marcus would appoint him to office and would appoint him to office and would appoint him to office and simultaneously enroll him in the Senate. simultaneously enroll him in the Senate. simultaneously enroll him in the Senate. And this obviously did not mark him for And this obviously did not mark him for And this obviously did not mark him for greatness, as most men destined for the greatness, as most men destined for the greatness, as most men destined for the purple had all these age requirements purple had all these age requirements purple had all these age requirements waved and had already served as console waved and had already served as console waved and had already served as console by now. But then again, Severis wasn't by now. But then again, Severis wasn't by now. But then again, Severis wasn't aiming to be emperor. He was simply aiming to be emperor. He was simply aiming to be emperor. He was simply shooting for prominence. Things actually got a little prominence. Things actually got a little bit worse for young Severis in the mid bit worse for young Severis in the mid bit worse for young Severis in the mid to late 160s as he waited patiently for to late 160s as he waited patiently for to late 160s as he waited patiently for the expected assignment. The Antonine the expected assignment. The Antonine the expected assignment. The Antonine plague infected Rome, and Severis plague infected Rome, and Severis plague infected Rome, and Severis prudently, if a bit dejectedly, left the prudently, if a bit dejectedly, left the prudently, if a bit dejectedly, left the diseased capital and returned to Africa, diseased capital and returned to Africa, diseased capital and returned to Africa, where things were safer.

where things were safer. where things were safer. He had left home with high hopes, and He had left home with high hopes, and He had left home with high hopes, and now he was right back where he had now he was right back where he had now he was right back where he had started, with nothing to show for it but started, with nothing to show for it but started, with nothing to show for it but a few wasted a few wasted a few wasted years. But the plague, which seemed like years. But the plague, which seemed like years. But the plague, which seemed like it might be the final nail in the coffin it might be the final nail in the coffin it might be the final nail in the coffin of whatever grand ambitions Sea secretly of whatever grand ambitions Sea secretly of whatever grand ambitions Sea secretly harbored for himself, actually turned harbored for himself, actually turned harbored for himself, actually turned out to be the defiill that brought those out to be the defiill that brought those out to be the defiill that brought those ambitions back to life. ambitions back to life. ambitions back to life. In addition to being a human tragedy of In addition to being a human tragedy of In addition to being a human tragedy of enormous proportions, the plague had the enormous proportions, the plague had the enormous proportions, the plague had the practical effect of creating many a practical effect of creating many a practical effect of creating many a vacancy in the imperial vacancy in the imperial vacancy in the imperial government. Just as the second Punic War government. Just as the second Punic War government. Just as the second Punic War and specifically the disaster at Cany and specifically the disaster at Cany and specifically the disaster at Cany had cleared out most of the rising stars had cleared out most of the rising stars had cleared out most of the rising stars of the old patrician families and opened of the old patrician families and opened of the old patrician families and opened the door for men of merit wherever they the door for men of merit wherever they the door for men of merit wherever they might be found. So too did the Antonine might be found. So too did the Antonine might be found. So too did the Antonine plague leave room for men who likely plague leave room for men who likely plague leave room for men who likely never would have been granted a second never would have been granted a second never would have been granted a second look had the old aristocracy not been look had the old aristocracy not been look had the old aristocracy not been dropping like flies. I think Pompeianis dropping like flies. I think Pompeianis dropping like flies. I think Pompeianis benefited from these conditions. benefited from these conditions. benefited from these conditions. Pertinac certainly rose higher than he Pertinac certainly rose higher than he Pertinac certainly rose higher than he otherwise would have and young Severis otherwise would have and young Severis otherwise would have and young Severis nobody provincial would soon find his nobody provincial would soon find his nobody provincial would soon find his application for membership in the Senate application for membership in the Senate application for membership in the Senate readily granted and important business readily granted and important business readily granted and important business happily heaped upon his shoulders.

But even here, Severis's career But even here, Severis's career progressed in fits and progressed in fits and progressed in fits and starts. He was assigned a proquester starts. He was assigned a proquester starts. He was assigned a proquester ship in the Spanish senatorial province ship in the Spanish senatorial province ship in the Spanish senatorial province of Beaca. But soon after taking up the of Beaca. But soon after taking up the of Beaca. But soon after taking up the posting, his father died, forcing posting, his father died, forcing posting, his father died, forcing Severis to return home to assume the Severis to return home to assume the Severis to return home to assume the mantle of Patter mantle of Patter mantle of Patter Familas. While he was gone, which means Familas. While he was gone, which means Familas. While he was gone, which means we can infer this was around 172 or so, we can infer this was around 172 or so, we can infer this was around 172 or so, the Moors invaded Spain and threw the the Moors invaded Spain and threw the the Moors invaded Spain and threw the region into crisis. region into crisis. region into crisis. The Senate handed control of Bitica to The Senate handed control of Bitica to The Senate handed control of Bitica to the emperor and in trade the emperor the emperor and in trade the emperor the emperor and in trade the emperor granted the Senate authority over the granted the Senate authority over the granted the Senate authority over the island of island of island of Sardinia. So when he was ready to return Sardinia. So when he was ready to return Sardinia. So when he was ready to return to duty, Severis was redirected to the to duty, Severis was redirected to the to duty, Severis was redirected to the moderately hostile backwater of Sardinia moderately hostile backwater of Sardinia moderately hostile backwater of Sardinia rather than the lush and wealthy coast rather than the lush and wealthy coast rather than the lush and wealthy coast of of of Spain. But Uncle Gas still saw promise Spain. But Uncle Gas still saw promise Spain. But Uncle Gas still saw promise in the young man, though it should be in the young man, though it should be in the young man, though it should be admitted he was not quite so young admitted he was not quite so young admitted he was not quite so young anymore. He was serious and dedicated. anymore. He was serious and dedicated. anymore. He was serious and dedicated. And so when Gas Severis was assigned the And so when Gas Severis was assigned the And so when Gas Severis was assigned the proconsul ship of Africa, he picked his proconsul ship of Africa, he picked his proconsul ship of Africa, he picked his younger cousin to serve on his staff. In 175, the now 30-year-old staff. In 175, the now 30-year-old Severis married a local African girl.

Severis married a local African girl. Severis married a local African girl. And though they were married 11 years, And though they were married 11 years, And though they were married 11 years, she would die in 186. No children she would die in 186. No children she would die in 186. No children resulted from the union. resulted from the union. resulted from the union. Around that same time, he was the Around that same time, he was the Around that same time, he was the recipient of imperial favor and recipient of imperial favor and recipient of imperial favor and appointed to serve as one of the now appointed to serve as one of the now appointed to serve as one of the now entirely honorary tribune of the plebs entirely honorary tribune of the plebs entirely honorary tribune of the plebs back in back in back in Rome. For the decade that followed, he Rome. For the decade that followed, he Rome. For the decade that followed, he would find himself fully in the would find himself fully in the would find himself fully in the emperor's good graces and assigned a key emperor's good graces and assigned a key emperor's good graces and assigned a key political and military posts across the political and military posts across the political and military posts across the empire, mostly in Spain and empire, mostly in Spain and empire, mostly in Spain and Gaul. When Comeodus succeeded his Gaul. When Comeodus succeeded his Gaul. When Comeodus succeeded his father, Severis was close enough to the father, Severis was close enough to the father, Severis was close enough to the Imperial family that Comeodus trusted Imperial family that Comeodus trusted Imperial family that Comeodus trusted him without being so close that Comeodus him without being so close that Comeodus him without being so close that Comeodus felt threatened by felt threatened by felt threatened by him. Shortly after Lucila's failed plot him. Shortly after Lucila's failed plot him. Shortly after Lucila's failed plot to kill her brother, though, Severis did to kill her brother, though, Severis did to kill her brother, though, Severis did temporarily fall from favor when he temporarily fall from favor when he temporarily fall from favor when he botched, perhaps intentionally, the job botched, perhaps intentionally, the job botched, perhaps intentionally, the job of tracking down one of the conspirators of tracking down one of the conspirators of tracking down one of the conspirators who had fled east. who had fled east. who had fled east. But this was a minor blip on Severis's But this was a minor blip on Severis's But this was a minor blip on Severis's now firmly established record. And now firmly established record. And now firmly established record. And before too long, he was called back into service. In 186, Severis's first wife service. In 186, Severis's first wife died, and he set himself to finding a died, and he set himself to finding a died, and he set himself to finding a new partner. This time, one he hoped new partner. This time, one he hoped new partner. This time, one he hoped would help catapult his career to the would help catapult his career to the would help catapult his career to the next level.

next level. next level. belief in astrology and divination was belief in astrology and divination was belief in astrology and divination was as strong in the empire as it had ever as strong in the empire as it had ever as strong in the empire as it had ever been. And Severis in particular bought been. And Severis in particular bought been. And Severis in particular bought into the whole system into the whole system into the whole system completely. He was informed by some completely. He was informed by some completely. He was informed by some mystics that there was a woman in the mystics that there was a woman in the mystics that there was a woman in the east who was destined to marry a king. east who was destined to marry a king. east who was destined to marry a king. So Severis immediately went forth to So Severis immediately went forth to So Severis immediately went forth to track her down and marry her. track her down and marry her. track her down and marry her. The woman in question was a Syrian named The woman in question was a Syrian named The woman in question was a Syrian named Julia Dna, who was descended from a line Julia Dna, who was descended from a line Julia Dna, who was descended from a line of kings established by Pompy during his of kings established by Pompy during his of kings established by Pompy during his initial political reorganization of the initial political reorganization of the initial political reorganization of the East in the60s East in the60s East in the60s BC. Though her family's royalty had long BC. Though her family's royalty had long BC. Though her family's royalty had long been stripped away, her father was a been stripped away, her father was a been stripped away, her father was a high priest in the small but important high priest in the small but important high priest in the small but important mystery religion that dedicated itself mystery religion that dedicated itself mystery religion that dedicated itself to the worship of Elgabel, god of the to the worship of Elgabel, god of the to the worship of Elgabel, god of the sun. sun. sun. Severe talked his way into an engagement Severe talked his way into an engagement Severe talked his way into an engagement with the woman who was destined to marry with the woman who was destined to marry with the woman who was destined to marry a king and in the summer of 187 the two a king and in the summer of 187 the two a king and in the summer of 187 the two were were were wed. The marriage would prove to be a wed. The marriage would prove to be a wed. The marriage would prove to be a happy and fruitful happy and fruitful happy and fruitful one. Julia would go down as one of the one. Julia would go down as one of the one. Julia would go down as one of the more beloved empresses of all time. And more beloved empresses of all time. And more beloved empresses of all time. And apart from earning praise for her apart from earning praise for her apart from earning praise for her intelligence, wit and political savvy, intelligence, wit and political savvy, intelligence, wit and political savvy, she was also a tireless promoter of the she was also a tireless promoter of the she was also a tireless promoter of the arts, philosophy, and poetry.

arts, philosophy, and poetry. arts, philosophy, and poetry. Though she did her best to stem the Though she did her best to stem the Though she did her best to stem the tide, her work was largely a losing tide, her work was largely a losing tide, her work was largely a losing battle against a Greco Roman culture battle against a Greco Roman culture battle against a Greco Roman culture that had stagnated and felt content to that had stagnated and felt content to that had stagnated and felt content to worship past masters rather than worship past masters rather than worship past masters rather than cultivate their generation's own cultivate their generation's own cultivate their generation's own voices. In 188, Severis's first son, voices. In 188, Severis's first son, voices. In 188, Severis's first son, Lucius Septimius Bosianis, was born and Lucius Septimius Bosianis, was born and Lucius Septimius Bosianis, was born and in 189 a second son, Publius Septimius in 189 a second son, Publius Septimius in 189 a second son, Publius Septimius Geta Geta Geta followed. Though the elder son would be followed. Though the elder son would be followed. Though the elder son would be known during his own life as Lucius, we known during his own life as Lucius, we known during his own life as Lucius, we know him today by the nickname that was know him today by the nickname that was know him today by the nickname that was rarely uttered in his presence, but rarely uttered in his presence, but rarely uttered in his presence, but which I'll use to refer to him from here which I'll use to refer to him from here which I'll use to refer to him from here on out, on out, on out, Kakala. The feud with his younger Kakala. The feud with his younger Kakala. The feud with his younger brother, Geta, the means by which he brother, Geta, the means by which he brother, Geta, the means by which he resolved said feud, and the tyrannical resolved said feud, and the tyrannical resolved said feud, and the tyrannical regime he subsequently oversaw following regime he subsequently oversaw following regime he subsequently oversaw following his father's death, would become the his father's death, would become the his father's death, would become the stuff of legend. and Kakala provided stuff of legend. and Kakala provided stuff of legend. and Kakala provided most, but not all of the reasons we most, but not all of the reasons we most, but not all of the reasons we usually call the Severign Dynasty the usually call the Severign Dynasty the usually call the Severign Dynasty the troubled Severign Dynasty. Before we move on from Dynasty. Before we move on from Severis's growing nuclear family, Severis's growing nuclear family, Severis's growing nuclear family, though, I should mention that his new though, I should mention that his new though, I should mention that his new sister-in-law, Julia Misa, will soon sister-in-law, Julia Misa, will soon sister-in-law, Julia Misa, will soon become a major player in her own right.

become a major player in her own right. become a major player in her own right. It was her young grandsons whom we know It was her young grandsons whom we know It was her young grandsons whom we know as Elgobilis and Alexander Seis who will as Elgobilis and Alexander Seis who will as Elgobilis and Alexander Seis who will round out the ill- fated Sever round out the ill- fated Sever round out the ill- fated Sever Dynasty. Both 14 at the time of their Dynasty. Both 14 at the time of their Dynasty. Both 14 at the time of their respective ascensions, Julia Misa will respective ascensions, Julia Misa will respective ascensions, Julia Misa will wield considerable influence behind the wield considerable influence behind the wield considerable influence behind the scenes and in her heyday was the most scenes and in her heyday was the most scenes and in her heyday was the most powerful Roman woman the empire had ever powerful Roman woman the empire had ever powerful Roman woman the empire had ever seen since the time of Agraina. his family growing happily and rapidly, his family growing happily and rapidly, though what it grew into was an entirely though what it grew into was an entirely though what it grew into was an entirely different story. Severe finally received different story. Severe finally received different story. Severe finally received that bright feather political men still that bright feather political men still that bright feather political men still strove to put in their caps despite its strove to put in their caps despite its strove to put in their caps despite its ultimate irrelevance by being named ultimate irrelevance by being named ultimate irrelevance by being named console in console in console in 190. As you'll recall though, his consil 190. As you'll recall though, his consil 190. As you'll recall though, his consil ship was even more irrelevant than most, ship was even more irrelevant than most, ship was even more irrelevant than most, his naming coming as it did in the his naming coming as it did in the his naming coming as it did in the middle of Cleander's scandalous list of middle of Cleander's scandalous list of middle of Cleander's scandalous list of 25 for the year. 25 for the year. 25 for the year. The following year, Severis was assigned The following year, Severis was assigned The following year, Severis was assigned to the key governorship of Pannonia, to the key governorship of Pannonia, to the key governorship of Pannonia, which brings us back to where we just which brings us back to where we just which brings us back to where we just began. The assassination of Comeodus, began. The assassination of Comeodus, began. The assassination of Comeodus, the murder of Pertinax, the elevation of the murder of Pertinax, the elevation of the murder of Pertinax, the elevation of Giulianis. Severis was willing to accept Giulianis. Severis was willing to accept Giulianis. Severis was willing to accept Pertinax and so kept his men in check Pertinax and so kept his men in check Pertinax and so kept his men in check during what had to be at least a during what had to be at least a during what had to be at least a slightly chaotic period following slightly chaotic period following slightly chaotic period following Comeodus' demise. But Comeodus' demise. But Comeodus' demise. But Giulianis, Giulianis was not to be Giulianis, Giulianis was not to be Giulianis, Giulianis was not to be accepted, nor tolerated, nor even accepted, nor tolerated, nor even accepted, nor tolerated, nor even resigned to. Giulianis was to be removed. Severis entered Rome in June

removed. Severis entered Rome in June 193 as the acknowledged master of the 193 as the acknowledged master of the 193 as the acknowledged master of the Roman Empire, king in all but name, just Roman Empire, king in all but name, just Roman Empire, king in all but name, just as the oracles had as the oracles had as the oracles had predicted. His first act was to order predicted. His first act was to order predicted. His first act was to order the disgraced Ptorian guard to assemble the disgraced Ptorian guard to assemble the disgraced Ptorian guard to assemble unarmed on a plane outside the city unarmed on a plane outside the city unarmed on a plane outside the city walls or they were surrounded by his own walls or they were surrounded by his own walls or they were surrounded by his own armed troops. armed troops. armed troops. The Ptorians were no doubt thinking that The Ptorians were no doubt thinking that The Ptorians were no doubt thinking that Severis's promise of no recriminations Severis's promise of no recriminations Severis's promise of no recriminations was about to be revealed as just a was about to be revealed as just a was about to be revealed as just a clever expedient and that they were all clever expedient and that they were all clever expedient and that they were all about to pay the ultimate price for about to pay the ultimate price for about to pay the ultimate price for their greed and hubris. But Severis their greed and hubris. But Severis their greed and hubris. But Severis instead simply ordered them to instead simply ordered them to instead simply ordered them to disband. That is, the Ptorian Guard was disband. That is, the Ptorian Guard was disband. That is, the Ptorian Guard was abolished. The now former members of the abolished. The now former members of the abolished. The now former members of the Guard escaped with their lives, but Guard escaped with their lives, but Guard escaped with their lives, but found their livelihoods stripped away in found their livelihoods stripped away in found their livelihoods stripped away in an instant. In place of the old Ptorians, which had In place of the old Ptorians, which had been an assembly of mostly Italian, been an assembly of mostly Italian, been an assembly of mostly Italian, mostly wellto-do soldiers, who treated mostly wellto-do soldiers, who treated mostly wellto-do soldiers, who treated the posting as purely ceremonial and the posting as purely ceremonial and the posting as purely ceremonial and little more than an opportunity to live little more than an opportunity to live little more than an opportunity to live high on the hog at the empire's expense, high on the hog at the empire's expense, high on the hog at the empire's expense, Severis instituted a new order of Severis instituted a new order of Severis instituted a new order of Ptorians. This one would be four times Ptorians. This one would be four times Ptorians. This one would be four times as large and be made up of provincial as large and be made up of provincial as large and be made up of provincial soldiers. Rather than a social club for soldiers. Rather than a social club for soldiers. Rather than a social club for pampered Italians, the guard was pampered Italians, the guard was pampered Italians, the guard was reconstructed to be the premier military reconstructed to be the premier military reconstructed to be the premier military unit in the empire and served as the unit in the empire and served as the unit in the empire and served as the ultimate reward for excellent service in ultimate reward for excellent service in ultimate reward for excellent service in the the the legions. Promotion of the Ptorians was, legions. Promotion of the Ptorians was, legions. Promotion of the Ptorians was, in other words, now open to any soldier in other words, now open to any soldier in other words, now open to any soldier who earned the who earned the who earned the right. The effects of this

right. The effects of this right. The effects of this reconstruction were three-fold. First, reconstruction were three-fold. First, reconstruction were three-fold. First, it further increased the distance it further increased the distance it further increased the distance between the citizens of Rome and their between the citizens of Rome and their between the citizens of Rome and their emperor. Rather than the barrier emperor. Rather than the barrier emperor. Rather than the barrier separating the two being made up of separating the two being made up of separating the two being made up of armed Italians who at least looked like armed Italians who at least looked like armed Italians who at least looked like the citizens of Rome and talked like the citizens of Rome and talked like the citizens of Rome and talked like them and were in many cases related to them and were in many cases related to them and were in many cases related to them, the barrier was now made up of a them, the barrier was now made up of a them, the barrier was now made up of a mly group of uncouthed provincial mly group of uncouthed provincial mly group of uncouthed provincial soldiers who shared nothing in common soldiers who shared nothing in common soldiers who shared nothing in common with the citizenry of the with the citizenry of the with the citizenry of the capital. From this point on, basically capital. From this point on, basically capital. From this point on, basically no one had a cousin in the guard anymore no one had a cousin in the guard anymore no one had a cousin in the guard anymore who could, you know, bend the rules a who could, you know, bend the rules a who could, you know, bend the rules a bit now and bit now and bit now and then. The second ramification of the then. The second ramification of the then. The second ramification of the Ptorian reorganization was that it wound Ptorian reorganization was that it wound Ptorian reorganization was that it wound up draining away talent from the up draining away talent from the up draining away talent from the provinces. When the best soldiers are provinces. When the best soldiers are provinces. When the best soldiers are promoted up to a posting in Rome, well, promoted up to a posting in Rome, well, promoted up to a posting in Rome, well, they're not around to help dig trenches they're not around to help dig trenches they're not around to help dig trenches anymore or lead men in battle or anymore or lead men in battle or anymore or lead men in battle or generally ensure that the borders remain generally ensure that the borders remain generally ensure that the borders remain secure. secure. secure. Though only one of many factors that led Though only one of many factors that led Though only one of many factors that led to the disastrous barbarian invasions of to the disastrous barbarian invasions of to the disastrous barbarian invasions of the next century, it certainly didn't the next century, it certainly didn't the next century, it certainly didn't help that all the best men were help that all the best men were help that all the best men were stationed in Rome rather than on the stationed in Rome rather than on the stationed in Rome rather than on the Danube when the Goths came Danube when the Goths came Danube when the Goths came calling. Finally, when the old guard was calling. Finally, when the old guard was calling. Finally, when the old guard was disbanded, they took with them the last disbanded, they took with them the last disbanded, they took with them the last few Italians still serving in few Italians still serving in few Italians still serving in uniform. The Roman legions were now no uniform. The Roman legions were now no uniform. The Roman legions were now no longer in any sense Roman legions. From longer in any sense Roman legions. From longer in any sense Roman legions. From here on out, wherever you looked, you here on out, wherever you looked, you here on out, wherever you looked, you saw foreign faces under those saw foreign faces under those saw foreign faces under those helmets. The Romans themselves were now helmets. The Romans themselves were now helmets. The Romans themselves were now content to let others do the fighting

content to let others do the fighting content to let others do the fighting for for for them. This abandonment of their marshall them. This abandonment of their marshall them. This abandonment of their marshall heritage is high on the list of heritage is high on the list of heritage is high on the list of potential reasons why the Western Empire potential reasons why the Western Empire potential reasons why the Western Empire ultimately fell. But as of yet, these fell. But as of yet, these reorganizations were still just a reorganizations were still just a reorganizations were still just a glimmer in Severis's eye. He had been glimmer in Severis's eye. He had been glimmer in Severis's eye. He had been recognized by the Senate and the recognized by the Senate and the recognized by the Senate and the Ptorians, but so what? So had the late Ptorians, but so what? So had the late Ptorians, but so what? So had the late Ddidius Ddidius Ddidius Giulianis. Pescanius Niger was still in Giulianis. Pescanius Niger was still in Giulianis. Pescanius Niger was still in Syria, still in control of the resources Syria, still in control of the resources Syria, still in control of the resources of the Eastern Empire and still showing of the Eastern Empire and still showing of the Eastern Empire and still showing every indication that he was planning to every indication that he was planning to every indication that he was planning to become emperor himself. become emperor himself. become emperor himself. Claudius Albinus was temporarily sated, Claudius Albinus was temporarily sated, Claudius Albinus was temporarily sated, but Severis knew that Albinus would not but Severis knew that Albinus would not but Severis knew that Albinus would not be so docile when the new emperor be so docile when the new emperor be so docile when the new emperor revealed his plan to double cross his revealed his plan to double cross his revealed his plan to double cross his supposed heir and instead name his sons supposed heir and instead name his sons supposed heir and instead name his sons Kakala and Gheta co- Kakala and Gheta co- Kakala and Gheta co- Caesars. Next week, Severis will face Caesars. Next week, Severis will face Caesars. Next week, Severis will face down his two rivals in a three-way down his two rivals in a three-way down his two rivals in a three-way battle for power that will finally battle for power that will finally battle for power that will finally unlock the Pandora's box of civil war unlock the Pandora's box of civil war unlock the Pandora's box of civil war that the Romans had successfully kept that the Romans had successfully kept that the Romans had successfully kept shut for 125 years.

shut for 125 years. shut for 125 years. [Music] Hello and welcome to the history of Hello and welcome to the history of Rome, episode 100, Black and White and Rome, episode 100, Black and White and Rome, episode 100, Black and White and Severis all Severis all Severis all over. On June 1st, 193 AD, Septimius over. On June 1st, 193 AD, Septimius over. On June 1st, 193 AD, Septimius Severis was officially recognized as Severis was officially recognized as Severis was officially recognized as emperor by the Senate and people of emperor by the Senate and people of emperor by the Senate and people of Rome. In theory, he now controlled the Rome. In theory, he now controlled the Rome. In theory, he now controlled the whole empire, but in practice, he was whole empire, but in practice, he was whole empire, but in practice, he was only master of its western half. Unlike only master of its western half. Unlike only master of its western half. Unlike the Danube legions and the British the Danube legions and the British the Danube legions and the British legions, who both at this point back legions, who both at this point back legions, who both at this point back Severis, the troops in Syria and Egypt Severis, the troops in Syria and Egypt Severis, the troops in Syria and Egypt recognized Pescanius Niger's claim to recognized Pescanius Niger's claim to recognized Pescanius Niger's claim to the throne and would have scoffed at any the throne and would have scoffed at any the throne and would have scoffed at any attempt by Severis to order them attempt by Severis to order them attempt by Severis to order them around. There were high hopes all around around. There were high hopes all around around. There were high hopes all around though that political tensions between though that political tensions between though that political tensions between East and West could be resolved without East and West could be resolved without East and West could be resolved without bloodshed, but it was not to be. The bloodshed, but it was not to be. The bloodshed, but it was not to be. The basic fact was that Severis was basic fact was that Severis was basic fact was that Severis was convinced that he had every right to the convinced that he had every right to the convinced that he had every right to the throne and Niger was also convinced that throne and Niger was also convinced that throne and Niger was also convinced that he had every right to the throne.

he had every right to the throne. he had every right to the throne. Keeping the aftermath of Giulianis' rise Keeping the aftermath of Giulianis' rise Keeping the aftermath of Giulianis' rise and fall bloodless meant that one of the and fall bloodless meant that one of the and fall bloodless meant that one of the two generals was going to have to back two generals was going to have to back two generals was going to have to back down and take a subordinate role to the down and take a subordinate role to the down and take a subordinate role to the other. Claudius Albinus had already other. Claudius Albinus had already other. Claudius Albinus had already allowed himself to be so subordinated, allowed himself to be so subordinated, allowed himself to be so subordinated, but neither Niger nor Severas had any but neither Niger nor Severas had any but neither Niger nor Severas had any intention of following his example. and intention of following his example. and intention of following his example. and so unfortunately civil so unfortunately civil so unfortunately civil war. But Severis was savvy about optics war. But Severis was savvy about optics war. But Severis was savvy about optics as evidenced by the care he took in as evidenced by the care he took in as evidenced by the care he took in keeping his initial coup a bloodless keeping his initial coup a bloodless keeping his initial coup a bloodless one. Well, relatively bloodless. one. Well, relatively bloodless. one. Well, relatively bloodless. Julianis and the men who had murdered Julianis and the men who had murdered Julianis and the men who had murdered Pertinax were dead, but no one liked Pertinax were dead, but no one liked Pertinax were dead, but no one liked them anyway, so they don't really them anyway, so they don't really them anyway, so they don't really count. In all his public posturing, count. In all his public posturing, count. In all his public posturing, Severis intimated that Niger was his Severis intimated that Niger was his Severis intimated that Niger was his friend and colleague, and that they friend and colleague, and that they friend and colleague, and that they couldn't possibly have any real quarrel couldn't possibly have any real quarrel couldn't possibly have any real quarrel with one another since they were such with one another since they were such with one another since they were such good friends and such good good friends and such good good friends and such good colleagues. Their two armies had both colleagues. Their two armies had both colleagues. Their two armies had both acted nobly in rejecting Giulianis and acted nobly in rejecting Giulianis and acted nobly in rejecting Giulianis and independently hailing their leader independently hailing their leader independently hailing their leader emperor. But now that Pertinax was emperor. But now that Pertinax was emperor. But now that Pertinax was avenged, it was time for them to act avenged, it was time for them to act avenged, it was time for them to act nobly again and reject discord in favor nobly again and reject discord in favor nobly again and reject discord in favor of of of Concord. Despite his public front of Concord. Despite his public front of Concord. Despite his public front of hopeful hope and friendly friendship, hopeful hope and friendly friendship, hopeful hope and friendly friendship, though, Severis and his lieutenants were though, Severis and his lieutenants were though, Severis and his lieutenants were diligently preparing for diligently preparing for diligently preparing for war. They well knew that barring a war. They well knew that barring a war. They well knew that barring a miracle, the only place Severis and miracle, the only place Severis and miracle, the only place Severis and Niger would be able to conclusively Niger would be able to conclusively Niger would be able to conclusively settle the issue of who was emperor settle the issue of who was emperor settle the issue of who was emperor would be on the would be on the would be on the battlefield. Thus, 30 days after he battlefield. Thus, 30 days after he battlefield. Thus, 30 days after he arrived in Rome, Severis ordered his arrived in Rome, Severis ordered his arrived in Rome, Severis ordered his forces to break camp and head east.

forces to break camp and head east. forces to break camp and head east. He told the Senate and the people that He told the Senate and the people that He told the Senate and the people that he was merely on his way to tour and he was merely on his way to tour and he was merely on his way to tour and inspect the eastern provinces and inspect the eastern provinces and inspect the eastern provinces and pointedly made no mention of Niger or pointedly made no mention of Niger or pointedly made no mention of Niger or his rival claim to power. But those in his rival claim to power. But those in his rival claim to power. But those in the no knew that Severis was on his way the no knew that Severis was on his way the no knew that Severis was on his way to demand the approaching Syrian legions to demand the approaching Syrian legions to demand the approaching Syrian legions recognize him as their emperor or face destruction. We know basically how destruction. We know basically how things are going to turn out in contest things are going to turn out in contest things are going to turn out in contest between Seis and Niger and we'll get to between Seis and Niger and we'll get to between Seis and Niger and we'll get to the details in a second. But before we the details in a second. But before we the details in a second. But before we get into the particulars, I should point get into the particulars, I should point get into the particulars, I should point out that things didn't have to turn out out that things didn't have to turn out out that things didn't have to turn out this way. Indeed, to many at the time, this way. Indeed, to many at the time, this way. Indeed, to many at the time, the ascension and subsequent victories the ascension and subsequent victories the ascension and subsequent victories of Severis came as quite a shock. You of Severis came as quite a shock. You of Severis came as quite a shock. You see, a pretty good chunk of the see, a pretty good chunk of the see, a pretty good chunk of the political class simply assumed that the political class simply assumed that the political class simply assumed that the job was naturally going to pass over to job was naturally going to pass over to job was naturally going to pass over to Pescanius Niger. From the moment Pescanius Niger. From the moment Pescanius Niger. From the moment Giulianis bought the throne, they Giulianis bought the throne, they Giulianis bought the throne, they expected Niger Nasis to be the man who expected Niger Nasis to be the man who expected Niger Nasis to be the man who would ride triumphantly into the city, would ride triumphantly into the city, would ride triumphantly into the city, cow the Ptorians, and restore order. All cow the Ptorians, and restore order. All cow the Ptorians, and restore order. All the Syrian governor had to do was get on the Syrian governor had to do was get on the Syrian governor had to do was get on his horse and ride. But then a funny his horse and ride. But then a funny his horse and ride. But then a funny thing happened. The presumed successor thing happened. The presumed successor thing happened. The presumed successor to Giulianis never showed up for his to Giulianis never showed up for his to Giulianis never showed up for his coronation ceremony.

There is not a ton in the historical There is not a ton in the historical record about Pescanius Niger, but we do record about Pescanius Niger, but we do record about Pescanius Niger, but we do know that he was born in the late 130s know that he was born in the late 130s know that he was born in the late 130s AD, round about the time that power was AD, round about the time that power was AD, round about the time that power was being transferred from Hadrien to being transferred from Hadrien to being transferred from Hadrien to Antonyinus, making him the eldest of our Antonyinus, making him the eldest of our Antonyinus, making him the eldest of our three claimments to the throne. three claimments to the throne. three claimments to the throne. Like Severis, he had come from an upper Like Severis, he had come from an upper Like Severis, he had come from an upper middle-class family of equites and also middle-class family of equites and also middle-class family of equites and also like Severis saw his career advance like Severis saw his career advance like Severis saw his career advance rapidly during that age of upward rapidly during that age of upward rapidly during that age of upward mobility made possible by the Parthion mobility made possible by the Parthion mobility made possible by the Parthion War, the Marcomomanic Wars and the War, the Marcomomanic Wars and the War, the Marcomomanic Wars and the Antonine Antonine Antonine plague. Early in Comeodus' reign, he had plague. Early in Comeodus' reign, he had plague. Early in Comeodus' reign, he had been made a senator and then appointed been made a senator and then appointed been made a senator and then appointed to a military command in Datia, where he to a military command in Datia, where he to a military command in Datia, where he served alongside Claudius Albinus and served alongside Claudius Albinus and served alongside Claudius Albinus and helped settle a brief Sarmatian helped settle a brief Sarmatian helped settle a brief Sarmatian uprising. After that, he was enough in uprising. After that, he was enough in uprising. After that, he was enough in Comeodus' confidence that when the Comeodus' confidence that when the Comeodus' confidence that when the desertters war broke out in 186, it was desertters war broke out in 186, it was desertters war broke out in 186, it was Niger who was ordered into Gaul to put Niger who was ordered into Gaul to put Niger who was ordered into Gaul to put the rebel army the rebel army the rebel army down. Probably as a reward for his down. Probably as a reward for his down. Probably as a reward for his success in this endeavor, Commodus success in this endeavor, Commodus success in this endeavor, Commodus appointed Niger to the all-important appointed Niger to the all-important appointed Niger to the all-important governorship of Syria.

governorship of Syria. governorship of Syria. Arriving in Antioch, he endeared himself Arriving in Antioch, he endeared himself Arriving in Antioch, he endeared himself to the population by taking a liberal to the population by taking a liberal to the population by taking a liberal attitude towards local custom and for attitude towards local custom and for attitude towards local custom and for encouraging the kind of games Marcus had encouraging the kind of games Marcus had encouraging the kind of games Marcus had outlawed and endeared himself to the outlawed and endeared himself to the outlawed and endeared himself to the legions by maintaining discipline legions by maintaining discipline legions by maintaining discipline without being overly harsh or strict without being overly harsh or strict without being overly harsh or strict about about about anything. He remained happily situated anything. He remained happily situated anything. He remained happily situated in Syria until the chaos of 193 led him in Syria until the chaos of 193 led him in Syria until the chaos of 193 led him to pack up his things and lead his to pack up his things and lead his to pack up his things and lead his armies toward Rome. very slowly pack up armies toward Rome. very slowly pack up armies toward Rome. very slowly pack up his things and very slowly lead his his things and very slowly lead his his things and very slowly lead his armies toward armies toward armies toward Rome. Not to Rome, mind you, just toward Rome. Not to Rome, mind you, just toward Rome. Not to Rome, mind you, just toward Rome. He never would get Rome. He never would get Rome. He never would get there. The problem with Niger and the there. The problem with Niger and the there. The problem with Niger and the thing that most especially led to his thing that most especially led to his thing that most especially led to his fall was the fact that he did not feel fall was the fact that he did not feel fall was the fact that he did not feel the fierce urgency of now. When Septmia the fierce urgency of now. When Septmia the fierce urgency of now. When Septmia Severis decided to make his bid for the Severis decided to make his bid for the Severis decided to make his bid for the throne, he spent every waking moment throne, he spent every waking moment throne, he spent every waking moment preparing to march on Rome. And when preparing to march on Rome. And when preparing to march on Rome. And when preparations were complete, he spent preparations were complete, he spent preparations were complete, he spent every waking moment actually marching on every waking moment actually marching on every waking moment actually marching on Rome. And when he arrived, he spent Rome. And when he arrived, he spent Rome. And when he arrived, he spent every waking moment figuring out exactly every waking moment figuring out exactly every waking moment figuring out exactly how he was going to keep the power he how he was going to keep the power he how he was going to keep the power he had had had grabbed. Pescanius Niger, on the other grabbed. Pescanius Niger, on the other grabbed. Pescanius Niger, on the other hand, was far more laxidasical about hand, was far more laxidasical about hand, was far more laxidasical about everything. Given a more vigorous everything. Given a more vigorous everything. Given a more vigorous response, he might have, like Vespacian response, he might have, like Vespacian response, he might have, like Vespacian before him, leveraged his position as de before him, leveraged his position as de before him, leveraged his position as de facto leader of the Eastern Empire into facto leader of the Eastern Empire into facto leader of the Eastern Empire into dour leader of the whole empire.

dour leader of the whole empire. dour leader of the whole empire. But he dillied and he dallied, and when But he dillied and he dallied, and when But he dillied and he dallied, and when he finally got around to making his he finally got around to making his he finally got around to making his move, it was too move, it was too move, it was too late. Two months had passed since the late. Two months had passed since the late. Two months had passed since the death of Giulianis, and Niger was just death of Giulianis, and Niger was just death of Giulianis, and Niger was just now barely leaving Antioch. now barely leaving Antioch. now barely leaving Antioch. He wouldn't even make it to the He wouldn't even make it to the He wouldn't even make it to the Helellispont before being met by Helellispont before being met by Helellispont before being met by Severis's Danube legions who in the same Severis's Danube legions who in the same Severis's Danube legions who in the same amount of time had marched from Pannonia amount of time had marched from Pannonia amount of time had marched from Pannonia to Rome, ousted Giulianis, sat around to Rome, ousted Giulianis, sat around to Rome, ousted Giulianis, sat around for a bit catching their breath as for a bit catching their breath as for a bit catching their breath as Severis planned their next move, and Severis planned their next move, and Severis planned their next move, and then crossed the Adriatic, marched then crossed the Adriatic, marched then crossed the Adriatic, marched across Macedonia and Thrace all the way across Macedonia and Thrace all the way across Macedonia and Thrace all the way to the Hellellispond. to the Hellellispond. to the Hellellispond. It is quite obvious then which general It is quite obvious then which general It is quite obvious then which general was feeling said fierce urgency of now was feeling said fierce urgency of now was feeling said fierce urgency of now and which was feeling the fierce urgency and which was feeling the fierce urgency and which was feeling the fierce urgency of of of whenever. Up until the very end, Severis whenever. Up until the very end, Severis whenever. Up until the very end, Severis and Niger maintained an officially and Niger maintained an officially and Niger maintained an officially friendly correspondence that pretended friendly correspondence that pretended friendly correspondence that pretended war was not imminent. But finally, the war was not imminent. But finally, the war was not imminent. But finally, the charade was called off when the two charade was called off when the two charade was called off when the two armies met in battle. Seeing as how it's armies met in battle. Seeing as how it's armies met in battle. Seeing as how it's kind of hard to pretend you have nothing kind of hard to pretend you have nothing kind of hard to pretend you have nothing but the most peaceful of intentions when but the most peaceful of intentions when but the most peaceful of intentions when you're simultaneously ordering your you're simultaneously ordering your you're simultaneously ordering your cavalry in to ride and hack your rival cavalry in to ride and hack your rival cavalry in to ride and hack your rival to to to pieces. The advanced guards of both pieces. The advanced guards of both pieces. The advanced guards of both armies found each other in the province armies found each other in the province armies found each other in the province of Bethnia and fought two separate of Bethnia and fought two separate of Bethnia and fought two separate engagements in the late summer of 193 engagements in the late summer of 193 engagements in the late summer of 193 which though too large to be considered which though too large to be considered which though too large to be considered skirmishes were also too small to be skirmishes were also too small to be skirmishes were also too small to be decisive. In both fights though, Niger's decisive. In both fights though, Niger's decisive. In both fights though, Niger's eastern troops looked badly overmatched eastern troops looked badly overmatched eastern troops looked badly overmatched against the veteran Pannonian legions against the veteran Pannonian legions against the veteran Pannonian legions and were beaten and were beaten and were beaten handily. The ascension of Niger, which

handily. The ascension of Niger, which handily. The ascension of Niger, which at first had seemed so right, so at first had seemed so right, so at first had seemed so right, so logical, and so inevitable, was now logical, and so inevitable, was now logical, and so inevitable, was now turning out to be so very clearly a pipe turning out to be so very clearly a pipe turning out to be so very clearly a pipe dream. Winter overtook the contest though and Winter overtook the contest though and when the new year dawned, Sea cemented when the new year dawned, Sea cemented when the new year dawned, Sea cemented his alliance with Albinus by sharing a his alliance with Albinus by sharing a his alliance with Albinus by sharing a consil ship with the British consil ship with the British consil ship with the British general. He further let it be known that general. He further let it be known that general. He further let it be known that while he was prosecuting the war in the while he was prosecuting the war in the while he was prosecuting the war in the east that he fully trusted Albinus to east that he fully trusted Albinus to east that he fully trusted Albinus to maintain the peace and tranquility of maintain the peace and tranquility of maintain the peace and tranquility of the the the West. His other rival now fully West. His other rival now fully West. His other rival now fully complacent, Severis wasted no time complacent, Severis wasted no time complacent, Severis wasted no time trying to land the final blow against trying to land the final blow against trying to land the final blow against Niger when spring arrived. Niger when spring arrived. Niger when spring arrived. In the meantime, Niger had withdrawn his In the meantime, Niger had withdrawn his In the meantime, Niger had withdrawn his forces almost all the way back to Syria forces almost all the way back to Syria forces almost all the way back to Syria and had set up a fortified position near and had set up a fortified position near and had set up a fortified position near the village of Isis at a location known the village of Isis at a location known the village of Isis at a location known as the Salissian Gates, a narrow as the Salissian Gates, a narrow as the Salissian Gates, a narrow east-west passage wedged in between the east-west passage wedged in between the east-west passage wedged in between the southern coastline of Turkey and the southern coastline of Turkey and the southern coastline of Turkey and the sharply rising Taurus mountains to the sharply rising Taurus mountains to the sharply rising Taurus mountains to the north.

north. north. When you Google the battle of Isis When you Google the battle of Isis When you Google the battle of Isis though, your first hits will not point though, your first hits will not point though, your first hits will not point you to the decisive battle between you to the decisive battle between you to the decisive battle between Severis and Niger, but rather to the Severis and Niger, but rather to the Severis and Niger, but rather to the decisive battle between Alexander the decisive battle between Alexander the decisive battle between Alexander the Great and the Persians fought over 500 Great and the Persians fought over 500 Great and the Persians fought over 500 years earlier on exactly the same years earlier on exactly the same years earlier on exactly the same spot. But Niger, as they say, was no spot. But Niger, as they say, was no spot. But Niger, as they say, was no Alexander. Though the two forces were Alexander. Though the two forces were Alexander. Though the two forces were roughly equal in size, three legions a roughly equal in size, three legions a roughly equal in size, three legions a piece plus some auxiliaries, the Danube piece plus some auxiliaries, the Danube piece plus some auxiliaries, the Danube troops, tempered in the fires of the troops, tempered in the fires of the troops, tempered in the fires of the Marcomomanic wars, were simply superior Marcomomanic wars, were simply superior Marcomomanic wars, were simply superior to the Syrian troops, who had been to the Syrian troops, who had been to the Syrian troops, who had been tempered in the fires of well, not much tempered in the fires of well, not much tempered in the fires of well, not much really. The Parthion War was already 30 really. The Parthion War was already 30 really. The Parthion War was already 30 years pass, and as a result, none of the years pass, and as a result, none of the years pass, and as a result, none of the soldiers in the east had any real soldiers in the east had any real soldiers in the east had any real experience with any real fighting. experience with any real fighting. experience with any real fighting. Niger's men made a go of it, but they Niger's men made a go of it, but they Niger's men made a go of it, but they were already beginning to fall back when were already beginning to fall back when were already beginning to fall back when Sever's cavalry, sent around on a secret Sever's cavalry, sent around on a secret Sever's cavalry, sent around on a secret mission prior to the battle, suddenly mission prior to the battle, suddenly mission prior to the battle, suddenly appeared at their appeared at their appeared at their rear. Chaos and slaughter ensued, and rear. Chaos and slaughter ensued, and rear. Chaos and slaughter ensued, and Niger was forced to flee the Niger was forced to flee the Niger was forced to flee the battlefield. His army now completely battlefield. His army now completely battlefield. His army now completely destroyed, the Syrian governor was destroyed, the Syrian governor was destroyed, the Syrian governor was apparently making for Partha, where he apparently making for Partha, where he apparently making for Partha, where he hoped to find asylum and perhaps the hoped to find asylum and perhaps the hoped to find asylum and perhaps the resources to make another bid for the resources to make another bid for the resources to make another bid for the throne one day.

throne one day. throne one day. But he was caught before he reached the But he was caught before he reached the But he was caught before he reached the Euphrates and like Giulianis before him Euphrates and like Giulianis before him Euphrates and like Giulianis before him was unceremoniously was unceremoniously was unceremoniously beheaded. The head was sent back to beheaded. The head was sent back to beheaded. The head was sent back to Severis who forwarded it on to the Severis who forwarded it on to the Severis who forwarded it on to the smalst but well-fortified city of smalst but well-fortified city of smalst but well-fortified city of Bzantium where what was left of the Bzantium where what was left of the Bzantium where what was left of the Niger loyalists had holed Niger loyalists had holed Niger loyalists had holed up. Though their leader head now sat at up. Though their leader head now sat at up. Though their leader head now sat at top a spike in front of the city gates, top a spike in front of the city gates, top a spike in front of the city gates, Niger's remaining lieutenants Niger's remaining lieutenants Niger's remaining lieutenants obstinately refused to surrender. obstinately refused to surrender. obstinately refused to surrender. At first, they held out simply to refuse At first, they held out simply to refuse At first, they held out simply to refuse Severis the satisfaction of victory. But Severis the satisfaction of victory. But Severis the satisfaction of victory. But eventually, they came to believe that eventually, they came to believe that eventually, they came to believe that Claudius Albinus would eventually heed Claudius Albinus would eventually heed Claudius Albinus would eventually heed the various calls for him to get into the various calls for him to get into the various calls for him to get into the ring, and that maybe, just maybe, the ring, and that maybe, just maybe, the ring, and that maybe, just maybe, they could live long enough to see they could live long enough to see they could live long enough to see Sever's head on a spike, Sever's head on a spike, Sever's head on a spike, too. But after a 2-year hold out, famine too. But after a 2-year hold out, famine too. But after a 2-year hold out, famine got the better of them, and the last of got the better of them, and the last of got the better of them, and the last of Niger soldiers finally surrendered Niger soldiers finally surrendered Niger soldiers finally surrendered Bzantium in 196. Bzantium in 196. Bzantium in 196. Severis ordered all the walls and Severis ordered all the walls and Severis ordered all the walls and fortifications of the city be toppled, fortifications of the city be toppled, fortifications of the city be toppled, reducing Bzantium to just another open reducing Bzantium to just another open reducing Bzantium to just another open village, which is exactly how village, which is exactly how village, which is exactly how Constantine found it more than a century Constantine found it more than a century Constantine found it more than a century later.

In between the occupation and surrender In between the occupation and surrender of Bzantium, Severis busied himself in of Bzantium, Severis busied himself in of Bzantium, Severis busied himself in the the the east. Still hoping to maintain some thin east. Still hoping to maintain some thin east. Still hoping to maintain some thin veneer of clemency, Severis did not veneer of clemency, Severis did not veneer of clemency, Severis did not simply go around to the various simply go around to the various simply go around to the various provinces killing those leading men who provinces killing those leading men who provinces killing those leading men who had supported Niger. But he did do the had supported Niger. But he did do the had supported Niger. But he did do the next harshest thing he could think next harshest thing he could think next harshest thing he could think of. Anyone associated with the fallen of. Anyone associated with the fallen of. Anyone associated with the fallen Syrian governor, no matter how Syrian governor, no matter how Syrian governor, no matter how tenuously, was purged from political tenuously, was purged from political tenuously, was purged from political office and their property confiscated. office and their property confiscated. office and their property confiscated. The ill-gotten, but not murderously so. The ill-gotten, but not murderously so. The ill-gotten, but not murderously so. Gains were then directed by Severis to Gains were then directed by Severis to Gains were then directed by Severis to his faithful his faithful his faithful soldiers. The soontobe undisputed soldiers. The soontobe undisputed soldiers. The soontobe undisputed emperor had no illusions about where his emperor had no illusions about where his emperor had no illusions about where his power was derived from and no desire to power was derived from and no desire to power was derived from and no desire to beat around the bush in his plans to beat around the bush in his plans to beat around the bush in his plans to hold on to that hold on to that hold on to that power. For the entirety of the Sever power. For the entirety of the Sever power. For the entirety of the Sever dynasty, starting with Severis himself, dynasty, starting with Severis himself, dynasty, starting with Severis himself, it would be the army first, last, and it would be the army first, last, and it would be the army first, last, and always. Indeed, as he lay dying, he gave always. Indeed, as he lay dying, he gave always. Indeed, as he lay dying, he gave his sons one last piece of advice, his sons one last piece of advice, his sons one last piece of advice, summing up his whole political summing up his whole political summing up his whole political philosophy in one short philosophy in one short philosophy in one short sentence. Be harmonious with each other, sentence. Be harmonious with each other, sentence. Be harmonious with each other, enrich the soldiers, and scorn all other enrich the soldiers, and scorn all other enrich the soldiers, and scorn all other men.

Sever's position was crystallizing, but Sever's position was crystallizing, but since you can't return home to a triumph since you can't return home to a triumph since you can't return home to a triumph if your victory comes against your if your victory comes against your if your victory comes against your fellow Romans, literally, it was against fellow Romans, literally, it was against fellow Romans, literally, it was against the rules, Severis embarked on a brief the rules, Severis embarked on a brief the rules, Severis embarked on a brief campaign against the Parththeians to campaign against the Parththeians to campaign against the Parththeians to give himself a nice foreign victory to give himself a nice foreign victory to give himself a nice foreign victory to point point point to. Following a series of practically to. Following a series of practically to. Following a series of practically non-contested victories in the Parthion non-contested victories in the Parthion non-contested victories in the Parthion borderlands beyond the Euphrates, borderlands beyond the Euphrates, borderlands beyond the Euphrates, Severis was finally confident enough in Severis was finally confident enough in Severis was finally confident enough in his grasp on power that he decided to his grasp on power that he decided to his grasp on power that he decided to drop the pretense that he was going to drop the pretense that he was going to drop the pretense that he was going to make Albinus as heir and announced that make Albinus as heir and announced that make Albinus as heir and announced that his young son Caracala was now to be his young son Caracala was now to be his young son Caracala was now to be known as Marcus Aurelius Septimus known as Marcus Aurelius Septimus known as Marcus Aurelius Septimus Bosianis Antoninus and would be next in Bosianis Antoninus and would be next in Bosianis Antoninus and would be next in line for the throne. line for the throne. line for the throne. This news came as something of a nasty This news came as something of a nasty This news came as something of a nasty surprise to Albinus in Britain, whose surprise to Albinus in Britain, whose surprise to Albinus in Britain, whose support for Severis, after all, had been support for Severis, after all, had been support for Severis, after all, had been premised on being named Severis's premised on being named Severis's premised on being named Severis's heir. The announcement also put an heir. The announcement also put an heir. The announcement also put an incident from the previous year in a new incident from the previous year in a new incident from the previous year in a new light. After defeating Niger, Severis light. After defeating Niger, Severis light. After defeating Niger, Severis had sent a note to Albinus proclaiming had sent a note to Albinus proclaiming had sent a note to Albinus proclaiming the triumph. But when the messengers the triumph. But when the messengers the triumph. But when the messengers arrived and requested a private audience arrived and requested a private audience arrived and requested a private audience with Albinus, they had whipped out with Albinus, they had whipped out with Albinus, they had whipped out daggers and tried to kill him.

daggers and tried to kill him. daggers and tried to kill him. The assassination attempt had been The assassination attempt had been The assassination attempt had been unsettling, but it had also been unsettling, but it had also been unsettling, but it had also been difficult to believe based on every difficult to believe based on every difficult to believe based on every other thing he had ever said or done other thing he had ever said or done other thing he had ever said or done that Severis had been the one who that Severis had been the one who that Severis had been the one who ordered the ordered the ordered the attack. But now that Albinus was getting attack. But now that Albinus was getting attack. But now that Albinus was getting the old double cross, the random the old double cross, the random the old double cross, the random assassination attempt by some rogue assassination attempt by some rogue assassination attempt by some rogue soldiers took on a much more sinister soldiers took on a much more sinister soldiers took on a much more sinister light because Severis had obviously light because Severis had obviously light because Severis had obviously tried to kill him in 196. Now fully aware that he had him in 196. Now fully aware that he had been duped into complacency for the last been duped into complacency for the last been duped into complacency for the last 2 and 1/2 years, Albinus finally 2 and 1/2 years, Albinus finally 2 and 1/2 years, Albinus finally accepted all that his troops wanted him accepted all that his troops wanted him accepted all that his troops wanted him to to to accept. He allowed himself to be hailed accept. He allowed himself to be hailed accept. He allowed himself to be hailed Emperado, kept the name Caesar, and Emperado, kept the name Caesar, and Emperado, kept the name Caesar, and prepared himself for war with prepared himself for war with prepared himself for war with Seis. He crossed over the English Seis. He crossed over the English Seis. He crossed over the English Channel into Gaul with three legions and Channel into Gaul with three legions and Channel into Gaul with three legions and a host of auxiliaries. The Cash's Dio a host of auxiliaries. The Cash's Dio a host of auxiliaries. The Cash's Dio estimated to be some 150,000 total men. estimated to be some 150,000 total men. estimated to be some 150,000 total men. Though like all ancient figures, this is Though like all ancient figures, this is Though like all ancient figures, this is likely an likely an likely an exaggeration. He was met initially by a exaggeration. He was met initially by a exaggeration. He was met initially by a smaller force led by one of Severis's smaller force led by one of Severis's smaller force led by one of Severis's generals who had been tasked with generals who had been tasked with generals who had been tasked with halting the invasion or at the very halting the invasion or at the very halting the invasion or at the very least slowing it least slowing it least slowing it down. Albinus dispatched Sever's down. Albinus dispatched Sever's down. Albinus dispatched Sever's welcoming party with ease, though, and welcoming party with ease, though, and welcoming party with ease, though, and the setback gave some on the Severance the setback gave some on the Severance the setback gave some on the Severance side side side pause. Maybe we should come to some sort pause. Maybe we should come to some sort pause. Maybe we should come to some sort of agreement with Albinus. It turns out of agreement with Albinus. It turns out of agreement with Albinus. It turns out that fighting him isn't exactly going to that fighting him isn't exactly going to that fighting him isn't exactly going to be a walk in the park, you know. But be a walk in the park, you know. But be a walk in the park, you know. But Sever himself seemed undaunted and Sever himself seemed undaunted and Sever himself seemed undaunted and readied himself for what he was readied himself for what he was readied himself for what he was confident would be his final

confident would be his final confident would be his final test. Beating Albinus meant that the test. Beating Albinus meant that the test. Beating Albinus meant that the empire would be his free and empire would be his free and empire would be his free and clear. Albinus was able to occupy clear. Albinus was able to occupy clear. Albinus was able to occupy Ldunam, the capital of Roman Gaul. But Ldunam, the capital of Roman Gaul. But Ldunam, the capital of Roman Gaul. But he was unable to do the one thing he he was unable to do the one thing he he was unable to do the one thing he really needed to do to win. really needed to do to win. really needed to do to win. Severis now had British legions Severis now had British legions Severis now had British legions accepted, the whole of the empire behind accepted, the whole of the empire behind accepted, the whole of the empire behind him. There was no way Albinus would be him. There was no way Albinus would be him. There was no way Albinus would be able to match Severis's reserve of men able to match Severis's reserve of men able to match Severis's reserve of men and material unless he was able to and material unless he was able to and material unless he was able to convince the Ryan legions to join his convince the Ryan legions to join his convince the Ryan legions to join his cause. Thus far, a non-factor in the cause. Thus far, a non-factor in the cause. Thus far, a non-factor in the war, the Ryan legions had remained war, the Ryan legions had remained war, the Ryan legions had remained essentially neutral, though they had essentially neutral, though they had essentially neutral, though they had leaned heavily towards Severis against leaned heavily towards Severis against leaned heavily towards Severis against Niger. Albinus hoped he could coax them Niger. Albinus hoped he could coax them Niger. Albinus hoped he could coax them into his camp, but all his intreaties into his camp, but all his intreaties into his camp, but all his intreaties were spurned as the Ryan troops instead were spurned as the Ryan troops instead were spurned as the Ryan troops instead dug in their support for Severis, dug in their support for Severis, dug in their support for Severis, pegging him to be the eventual winner in pegging him to be the eventual winner in pegging him to be the eventual winner in any contest that they themselves did not any contest that they themselves did not any contest that they themselves did not get involved get involved get involved in. Having failed to sway the Rine in. Having failed to sway the Rine in. Having failed to sway the Rine troops, Albinus still persisted in his troops, Albinus still persisted in his troops, Albinus still persisted in his preparations for battle. But now his preparations for battle. But now his preparations for battle. But now his mission seemed to be working itself up mission seemed to be working itself up mission seemed to be working itself up to be a romantic last stand rather than to be a romantic last stand rather than to be a romantic last stand rather than a stunning victory against the growing a stunning victory against the growing a stunning victory against the growing tyranny of Severis. Like Septimius Severis, Severis. Like Septimius Severis, Claudius Albinus had been born in Claudius Albinus had been born in Claudius Albinus had been born in Africa. Though unlike Severis, Albinus Africa. Though unlike Severis, Albinus Africa. Though unlike Severis, Albinus was the son of a wealthy senatorial was the son of a wealthy senatorial was the son of a wealthy senatorial family and was by far the most pedigreed family and was by far the most pedigreed family and was by far the most pedigreed of the three rivals for power.

of the three rivals for power. of the three rivals for power. He earned the Cognaman albina shortly He earned the Cognaman albina shortly He earned the Cognaman albina shortly after his birth in 147 when his father after his birth in 147 when his father after his birth in 147 when his father commented on the boy's unusually pale commented on the boy's unusually pale commented on the boy's unusually pale skin. Though he was not an albino per skin. Though he was not an albino per skin. Though he was not an albino per se, as it is sometimes se, as it is sometimes se, as it is sometimes thought. From the very beginning, he was thought. From the very beginning, he was thought. From the very beginning, he was set on a military career and as a young set on a military career and as a young set on a military career and as a young man quickly established a reputation as man quickly established a reputation as man quickly established a reputation as an excellent soldier. an excellent soldier. an excellent soldier. He served in various capacities He served in various capacities He served in various capacities throughout the first half of the throughout the first half of the throughout the first half of the Marcomomanic wars and was at an early Marcomomanic wars and was at an early Marcomomanic wars and was at an early age promoted to the governorship of age promoted to the governorship of age promoted to the governorship of Bethnia for the year Bethnia for the year Bethnia for the year 175. That meant that he was in Bethnia 175. That meant that he was in Bethnia 175. That meant that he was in Bethnia when the revolt of Avidius Cases broke when the revolt of Avidius Cases broke when the revolt of Avidius Cases broke out. Rather than join the other eastern out. Rather than join the other eastern out. Rather than join the other eastern provinces, Albinus withheld the single provinces, Albinus withheld the single provinces, Albinus withheld the single legion he controlled from Cases and legion he controlled from Cases and legion he controlled from Cases and instead remain loyal to Marcus. instead remain loyal to Marcus. instead remain loyal to Marcus. This endeared him to the emperor and his This endeared him to the emperor and his This endeared him to the emperor and his son Comeodus, who you'll recall was son Comeodus, who you'll recall was son Comeodus, who you'll recall was there during the crisis and learned there during the crisis and learned there during the crisis and learned quickly who was with his family and who quickly who was with his family and who quickly who was with his family and who was opposed to was opposed to was opposed to them. For the entirety of Commodus' them. For the entirety of Commodus' them. For the entirety of Commodus' reign, Albinus continued to be held in reign, Albinus continued to be held in reign, Albinus continued to be held in high esteem by the emperor and was given high esteem by the emperor and was given high esteem by the emperor and was given commands in Gaul and then finally the commands in Gaul and then finally the commands in Gaul and then finally the powerful governorship of Britain.

powerful governorship of Britain. powerful governorship of Britain. Gibbon remarks that we should not hold Gibbon remarks that we should not hold Gibbon remarks that we should not hold it against Albinus that he was so it against Albinus that he was so it against Albinus that he was so well-liked by Comedus, and that well-liked by Comedus, and that well-liked by Comedus, and that sometimes even men who usually favor the sometimes even men who usually favor the sometimes even men who usually favor the corrupt and venal, occasionally, almost corrupt and venal, occasionally, almost corrupt and venal, occasionally, almost by accident, favor the honest and by accident, favor the honest and by accident, favor the honest and capable, which by all estimations Alinus capable, which by all estimations Alinus capable, which by all estimations Alinus was. In fact, Albinus actually took was. In fact, Albinus actually took was. In fact, Albinus actually took things a little bit further than that. things a little bit further than that. things a little bit further than that. In early 192, a believable rumor reached In early 192, a believable rumor reached In early 192, a believable rumor reached his headquarters in Britain that his headquarters in Britain that his headquarters in Britain that Commodus was dead. And in response, Commodus was dead. And in response, Commodus was dead. And in response, Albinus delivered an address to his Albinus delivered an address to his Albinus delivered an address to his troops condemning the excesses and troops condemning the excesses and troops condemning the excesses and brutality of Comedus and openly calling brutality of Comedus and openly calling brutality of Comedus and openly calling for a return to a republican form of for a return to a republican form of for a return to a republican form of government. By the time the speech was government. By the time the speech was government. By the time the speech was over, he had outed himself as a over, he had outed himself as a over, he had outed himself as a full-blown critic of the imperial system full-blown critic of the imperial system full-blown critic of the imperial system and likely would have paid for the crime and likely would have paid for the crime and likely would have paid for the crime with his life had not Cometus really with his life had not Cometus really with his life had not Cometus really been killed just a few months later been killed just a few months later been killed just a few months later before the emperor could deal with his before the emperor could deal with his before the emperor could deal with his suddenly treasonous governor of Britain. suddenly treasonous governor of Britain. suddenly treasonous governor of Britain. Just like with Severis and Niger, the Just like with Severis and Niger, the Just like with Severis and Niger, the elevation of Pertinax came as welcome elevation of Pertinax came as welcome elevation of Pertinax came as welcome news to Albinus, but the elevation of news to Albinus, but the elevation of news to Albinus, but the elevation of Giulianis did Giulianis did Giulianis did not. Perhaps in a nod to his Republican not. Perhaps in a nod to his Republican not. Perhaps in a nod to his Republican sympathies, Albinus initially refused sympathies, Albinus initially refused sympathies, Albinus initially refused the title Emperado and Augustus and the title Emperado and Augustus and the title Emperado and Augustus and allowed himself to be styled merely as a allowed himself to be styled merely as a allowed himself to be styled merely as a lieutenant of the people.

lieutenant of the people. lieutenant of the people. But perhaps further revealing that some But perhaps further revealing that some But perhaps further revealing that some of those Republican sympathies were more of those Republican sympathies were more of those Republican sympathies were more rhetorical and theoretical than actual, rhetorical and theoretical than actual, rhetorical and theoretical than actual, he allowed himself to be seduced by he allowed himself to be seduced by he allowed himself to be seduced by Severis's offer of Caesarhood and so Severis's offer of Caesarhood and so Severis's offer of Caesarhood and so stood by while Severis annihilated stood by while Severis annihilated stood by while Severis annihilated Niger. But after Caracala was elevated Niger. But after Caracala was elevated Niger. But after Caracala was elevated in Albinus's place, Severis was exposed in Albinus's place, Severis was exposed in Albinus's place, Severis was exposed as a ruthless two-faced tyrant who was as a ruthless two-faced tyrant who was as a ruthless two-faced tyrant who was not to be trusted nor followed. not to be trusted nor followed. not to be trusted nor followed. In Albinus's mind, it was now his duty In Albinus's mind, it was now his duty In Albinus's mind, it was now his duty as the only man in a position to do as the only man in a position to do as the only man in a position to do something about it. To do something something about it. To do something something about it. To do something about Septimius Severis. In February 197, Albinus very Severis. In February 197, Albinus very nearly did something about nearly did something about nearly did something about it. The force Severis mustered to face it. The force Severis mustered to face it. The force Severis mustered to face down his last rival was roughly equal to down his last rival was roughly equal to down his last rival was roughly equal to that of Albinus' army. That is, Sever's that of Albinus' army. That is, Sever's that of Albinus' army. That is, Sever's army is also quoted to be at the army is also quoted to be at the army is also quoted to be at the aforementioned aforementioned aforementioned 150,000, which meant that at least for 150,000, which meant that at least for 150,000, which meant that at least for this one fight, the two generals were on this one fight, the two generals were on this one fight, the two generals were on equal equal equal footing. The size of the two armies also footing. The size of the two armies also footing. The size of the two armies also meant that this was the largest meant that this was the largest meant that this was the largest legionleion fight in the whole long legionleion fight in the whole long legionleion fight in the whole long history of Rome.

history of Rome. history of Rome. By contrast, the battle of Farcelus By contrast, the battle of Farcelus By contrast, the battle of Farcelus featured a mere 30,000 troops for Caesar featured a mere 30,000 troops for Caesar featured a mere 30,000 troops for Caesar and maybe 60,000 for Pompy. A combined and maybe 60,000 for Pompy. A combined and maybe 60,000 for Pompy. A combined total that would have been dwarfed by a total that would have been dwarfed by a total that would have been dwarfed by a single side in this latest fight for single side in this latest fight for single side in this latest fight for control of the control of the control of the empire. Even taking into account the empire. Even taking into account the empire. Even taking into account the exaggeration factor, the battle of Lug exaggeration factor, the battle of Lug exaggeration factor, the battle of Lug Dunham had to have been an absolutely Dunham had to have been an absolutely Dunham had to have been an absolutely humongous affair. In contrast to the other battles won in In contrast to the other battles won in his name, Severis decided this fight was his name, Severis decided this fight was his name, Severis decided this fight was critical enough that he needed to be critical enough that he needed to be critical enough that he needed to be there in person to lead his armies. And there in person to lead his armies. And there in person to lead his armies. And with Albinus personally directing his with Albinus personally directing his with Albinus personally directing his own forces, the fight turned into a own forces, the fight turned into a own forces, the fight turned into a slugfest between two evenly matched slugfest between two evenly matched slugfest between two evenly matched armies, both being led by highly armies, both being led by highly armies, both being led by highly intelligent intelligent intelligent commanders. For most of the day, the two commanders. For most of the day, the two commanders. For most of the day, the two sides both gave as good as they got. sides both gave as good as they got. sides both gave as good as they got. When Albinus' left wing began to give When Albinus' left wing began to give When Albinus' left wing began to give way, Severis's left wing simultaneously way, Severis's left wing simultaneously way, Severis's left wing simultaneously fell into a trap that nearly cost fell into a trap that nearly cost fell into a trap that nearly cost Severis his life when he was caught in a Severis his life when he was caught in a Severis his life when he was caught in a chaotic retreat away from a booby trap chaotic retreat away from a booby trap chaotic retreat away from a booby trap field. But eventually, the Severs wore field. But eventually, the Severs wore field. But eventually, the Severs wore down Albinus' men and broke through down Albinus' men and broke through down Albinus' men and broke through their their their lines. Alinus himself fled the field and lines. Alinus himself fled the field and lines. Alinus himself fled the field and retreated back to a house in the still retreated back to a house in the still retreated back to a house in the still as of yet untaken city of Luke Dunham.

as of yet untaken city of Luke Dunham. as of yet untaken city of Luke Dunham. But recognizing that the day was lost But recognizing that the day was lost But recognizing that the day was lost and that it was only a matter of time and that it was only a matter of time and that it was only a matter of time before he was captured and executed, before he was captured and executed, before he was captured and executed, Claudius Albinus committed Claudius Albinus committed Claudius Albinus committed suicide. It is reported that Sea showed suicide. It is reported that Sea showed suicide. It is reported that Sea showed no respect for Albinus's honor. And in no respect for Albinus's honor. And in no respect for Albinus's honor. And in addition to running over the discovered addition to running over the discovered addition to running over the discovered corpse with a cart, he chopped off the corpse with a cart, he chopped off the corpse with a cart, he chopped off the head and sent it back to Rome as a head and sent it back to Rome as a head and sent it back to Rome as a warning to anyone who dared to dream warning to anyone who dared to dream warning to anyone who dared to dream that Septimius Severis was not in fact that Septimius Severis was not in fact that Septimius Severis was not in fact the invincible and undisputed master of the invincible and undisputed master of the invincible and undisputed master of the world. Next time, Severis will have to deal Next time, Severis will have to deal with the consequences of his actions. A with the consequences of his actions. A with the consequences of his actions. A man of boundless energy who was used to man of boundless energy who was used to man of boundless energy who was used to immediate and unquestioned compliance immediate and unquestioned compliance immediate and unquestioned compliance with his orders suddenly found himself with his orders suddenly found himself with his orders suddenly found himself leading a civilian governmental leading a civilian governmental leading a civilian governmental apparatus that was sluggish, apparatus that was sluggish, apparatus that was sluggish, temperamental, and above all, temperamental, and above all, temperamental, and above all, boring. The life of a Roman politician boring. The life of a Roman politician boring. The life of a Roman politician is absolutely nothing like the life of a is absolutely nothing like the life of a is absolutely nothing like the life of a Roman general. a fact that Severis was Roman general. a fact that Severis was Roman general. a fact that Severis was quickly coming to quickly coming to quickly coming to understand. In pursuit of power, he had understand. In pursuit of power, he had understand. In pursuit of power, he had never stopped to contemplate whether the never stopped to contemplate whether the never stopped to contemplate whether the imperial throne would prove to be a imperial throne would prove to be a imperial throne would prove to be a blessing or a blessing or a blessing or a curse. In the end, he came down squarely curse. In the end, he came down squarely curse. In the end, he came down squarely on the side of the on the side of the on the side of the latter. With no great crises left to latter. With no great crises left to latter. With no great crises left to engage him, his spirit atrophied in the engage him, his spirit atrophied in the engage him, his spirit atrophied in the face of bureaucratic face of bureaucratic face of bureaucratic minutia. Relief was supposed to be found minutia. Relief was supposed to be found minutia. Relief was supposed to be found in the cultivation of his sons, but in the cultivation of his sons, but in the cultivation of his sons, but before his very eyes, Caracawa and Geta before his very eyes, Caracawa and Geta before his very eyes, Caracawa and Geta were turning into cruel, petulant

were turning into cruel, petulant were turning into cruel, petulant adolescence, and worse yet, seemed to adolescence, and worse yet, seemed to adolescence, and worse yet, seemed to despise one despise one despise one another. Rather than being less another. Rather than being less another. Rather than being less satisfied that the power he had won for satisfied that the power he had won for satisfied that the power he had won for his family would be wielded wisely, he his family would be wielded wisely, he his family would be wielded wisely, he was left dejected, suspecting that the was left dejected, suspecting that the was left dejected, suspecting that the minute he was gone, the boys would tear minute he was gone, the boys would tear minute he was gone, the boys would tear each other and the empire apart. I say next time rather than next week I say next time rather than next week because unfortunately I'm going to have because unfortunately I'm going to have because unfortunately I'm going to have to miss the next two Sundays. I'm headed to miss the next two Sundays. I'm headed to miss the next two Sundays. I'm headed up to Madison for an extended Fourth of up to Madison for an extended Fourth of up to Madison for an extended Fourth of July vacation and all my available July vacation and all my available July vacation and all my available writing time is going to be replaced writing time is going to be replaced writing time is going to be replaced with family time. But you might say, with family time. But you might say, with family time. But you might say, shouldn't that mean you're only taking shouldn't that mean you're only taking shouldn't that mean you're only taking one week off? Well, yes, that's what I one week off? Well, yes, that's what I one week off? Well, yes, that's what I thought, too. But then I did the math thought, too. But then I did the math thought, too. But then I did the math and it turns out that between and it turns out that between and it turns out that between everything, this one week long trip is everything, this one week long trip is everything, this one week long trip is going to knock me out for two full going to knock me out for two full going to knock me out for two full episodes worth of production time. But episodes worth of production time. But episodes worth of production time. But don't worry, I'll come back tanned, don't worry, I'll come back tanned, don't worry, I'll come back tanned, ready, and rested. And next time, we'll ready, and rested. And next time, we'll ready, and rested. And next time, we'll delve into the back end of Sever's delve into the back end of Sever's delve into the back end of Sever's unhappy reign and watch his adorable unhappy reign and watch his adorable unhappy reign and watch his adorable little boys turn into deplorable little little boys turn into deplorable little little boys turn into deplorable little monsters.

monsters. monsters. [Music]