AI is the World’s largest Relationship Therapist — Clay Cockrell & Tony Fabrikant, CoupleWork AI

>> On a bright spring afternoon, a young >> On a bright spring afternoon, a young couple walks into my office for their couple walks into my office for their couple walks into my office for their first couples counseling session. first couples counseling session. first couples counseling session. And the anger toward each other And the anger toward each other And the anger toward each other is just wafting off of them. Practically is just wafting off of them. Practically is just wafting off of them. Practically buzzing with it. buzzing with it. buzzing with it. And I think to myself, And I think to myself, And I think to myself, this is going to be fun. this is going to be fun. this is going to be fun. Cuz I've got a secret weapon they don't Cuz I've got a secret weapon they don't Cuz I've got a secret weapon they don't know about yet. It's my couch. It's my know about yet. It's my couch. It's my know about yet. It's my couch. It's my literal couch. It's more of a love seat. literal couch. It's more of a love seat. literal couch. It's more of a love seat. Uh, see the springs in the middle have Uh, see the springs in the middle have Uh, see the springs in the middle have gone all wonky. They don't spring gone all wonky. They don't spring gone all wonky. They don't spring anymore. So, when a couple sits on them, anymore. So, when a couple sits on them, anymore. So, when a couple sits on them, gravity gravity gravity leans them toward each other. That's the leans them toward each other. That's the leans them toward each other. That's the last thing this couple wants. last thing this couple wants. last thing this couple wants. So, they they grab the arm uh, to kind So, they they grab the arm uh, to kind So, they they grab the arm uh, to kind of pull themselves upright. of pull themselves upright. of pull themselves upright. But, you can only hold that position for But, you can only hold that position for But, you can only hold that position for so long. so long. so long. So, we get started and they start So, we get started and they start So, we get started and they start talking about their grievances and their talking about their grievances and their talking about their grievances and their annoyances with one another and how annoyances with one another and how annoyances with one another and how they've been hurt by one another. And as they've been hurt by one another. And as they've been hurt by one another. And as time goes on, time goes on, time goes on, they gradually lean into one another they gradually lean into one another they gradually lean into one another until they touch. until they touch. until they touch. That moment of connection. That moment of connection. That moment of connection. And they remember that they married a And they remember that they married a And they remember that they married a human. A flawed human human. A flawed human human. A flawed human that brushes their teeth funny and farts that brushes their teeth funny and farts that brushes their teeth funny and farts in their sleep, in their sleep, in their sleep, but a human.

but a human. but a human. And it's that moment of softness and And it's that moment of softness and And it's that moment of softness and connection that we can connection that we can connection that we can begin to have some real work. begin to have some real work. begin to have some real work. And I say all that to say this. And I say all that to say this. And I say all that to say this. Maybe what I bring to the table today is Maybe what I bring to the table today is Maybe what I bring to the table today is right. I've been married for 23 years right. I've been married for 23 years right. I've been married for 23 years myself and a couples counselor for 34. myself and a couples counselor for 34. myself and a couples counselor for 34. So, I have some credibility. So, I have some credibility. So, I have some credibility. Maybe it just comes down to furniture. Maybe it just comes down to furniture. Maybe it just comes down to furniture. So, I'd like to see a raise of hands as So, I'd like to see a raise of hands as So, I'd like to see a raise of hands as we begin. How many people in this room we begin. How many people in this room we begin. How many people in this room are in a relationship? are in a relationship? are in a relationship? Marriage, situationship, partnership. Marriage, situationship, partnership. Marriage, situationship, partnership. Great. Now, keep your hands up. Great. Now, keep your hands up. Great. Now, keep your hands up. Keep your hands up if at any point in Keep your hands up if at any point in Keep your hands up if at any point in the last 12 months you have turned to an the last 12 months you have turned to an the last 12 months you have turned to an AI to help you with that relationship. AI to help you with that relationship. AI to help you with that relationship. To text, to send an email. To text, to send an email. To text, to send an email. It's a lot of hands. It's a lot of hands. It's a lot of hands. I'm going to guess there are more hands I'm going to guess there are more hands I'm going to guess there are more hands stayed up than you expected. So, here's stayed up than you expected. So, here's stayed up than you expected. So, here's what I know about the people in this what I know about the people in this what I know about the people in this room. You built this technology, you room. You built this technology, you room. You built this technology, you fund it, fund it, fund it, >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> you write about it, you evangelize it at >> you write about it, you evangelize it at >> you write about it, you evangelize it at conferences exactly like this one, and a conferences exactly like this one, and a conferences exactly like this one, and a meaningful number of you are using it in meaningful number of you are using it in meaningful number of you are using it in private for something that has private for something that has private for something that has historically been exclusive domain of historically been exclusive domain of historically been exclusive domain of people like me.

people like me. people like me. Trying to figure out why the person you Trying to figure out why the person you Trying to figure out why the person you love makes you absolutely insane. love makes you absolutely insane. love makes you absolutely insane. My name is Clay Cockrell. I've been My name is Clay Cockrell. I've been My name is Clay Cockrell. I've been sitting with couples in crisis for 30 sitting with couples in crisis for 30 sitting with couples in crisis for 30 years. years. years. And about 2 years ago, I co-founded And about 2 years ago, I co-founded And about 2 years ago, I co-founded Couplework, an AI relationship coaching Couplework, an AI relationship coaching Couplework, an AI relationship coaching platform, which means I've spent three platform, which means I've spent three platform, which means I've spent three decades watching what actually happens decades watching what actually happens decades watching what actually happens inside relationships, and the last few inside relationships, and the last few inside relationships, and the last few years watching what happens when years watching what happens when years watching what happens when technology tries to help. technology tries to help. technology tries to help. What I want to do in the next few What I want to do in the next few What I want to do in the next few minutes is share what I've learned in minutes is share what I've learned in minutes is share what I've learned in both of these rooms because here's what both of these rooms because here's what both of these rooms because here's what I believe as someone with a foot in I believe as someone with a foot in I believe as someone with a foot in each. each. each. AI is going to be the most AI is going to be the most AI is going to be the most transformative force in human transformative force in human transformative force in human relationship history. relationship history. relationship history. And most of what is being built right And most of what is being built right And most of what is being built right now is going to make it worse. now is going to make it worse. now is going to make it worse. I'm going to tell you what looks right I'm going to tell you what looks right I'm going to tell you what looks right because we can build this well, we just because we can build this well, we just because we can build this well, we just aren't yet. And let's start with some aren't yet. And let's start with some aren't yet. And let's start with some numbers. numbers. numbers. BetterHelp is the largest online therapy BetterHelp is the largest online therapy BetterHelp is the largest online therapy platform in the world. They have platform in the world. They have platform in the world. They have approximately 35,000 licensed approximately 35,000 licensed approximately 35,000 licensed and over their years they have helped 5 and over their years they have helped 5 and over their years they have helped 5 million users. By any reasonable million users. By any reasonable million users. By any reasonable measure, that is a significant mental measure, that is a significant mental measure, that is a significant mental health infrastructure, and it took them health infrastructure, and it took them health infrastructure, and it took them a decade to build it.

a decade to build it. a decade to build it. ChatGPT gets approximately 900 million ChatGPT gets approximately 900 million ChatGPT gets approximately 900 million active users per week. active users per week. active users per week. Research is beginning to document what Research is beginning to document what Research is beginning to document what many of us already suspected a many of us already suspected a many of us already suspected a substantial percentage of those users substantial percentage of those users substantial percentage of those users are engaging with AI for emotional are engaging with AI for emotional are engaging with AI for emotional support and relationship guidance, not support and relationship guidance, not support and relationship guidance, not as a deliberate therapeutic intervention as a deliberate therapeutic intervention as a deliberate therapeutic intervention or seeing a licensed clinician, just or seeing a licensed clinician, just or seeing a licensed clinician, just because it's there. because it's there. because it's there. Because it's 11:00 p.m. and they just Because it's 11:00 p.m. and they just Because it's 11:00 p.m. and they just had an argument. Now, we do not yet have had an argument. Now, we do not yet have had an argument. Now, we do not yet have measurement of the scale, but we have measurement of the scale, but we have measurement of the scale, but we have enough signal to say this with enough signal to say this with enough signal to say this with confidence. More people are turning to confidence. More people are turning to confidence. More people are turning to AI about the relationship right now than AI about the relationship right now than AI about the relationship right now than are talking to all the licensed are talking to all the licensed are talking to all the licensed therapists in the United States therapists in the United States therapists in the United States combined. combined. combined. The world's largest relationship The world's largest relationship The world's largest relationship therapist is not a person with a degree. therapist is not a person with a degree. therapist is not a person with a degree. It's a large language model It's a large language model It's a large language model trained on the internet, fine-tuned to trained on the internet, fine-tuned to trained on the internet, fine-tuned to be helpful and harmless and optimized be helpful and harmless and optimized be helpful and harmless and optimized for one thing above all else, keeping for one thing above all else, keeping for one thing above all else, keeping you engaged. you engaged. you engaged. And the easiest thing is to optimize for And the easiest thing is to optimize for And the easiest thing is to optimize for engagement. More sessions, longer engagement. More sessions, longer engagement. More sessions, longer sessions, more emotional reliance on the sessions, more emotional reliance on the sessions, more emotional reliance on the AI.

AI. AI. From a SaaS dashboard perspective, From a SaaS dashboard perspective, From a SaaS dashboard perspective, that's amazing. From a clinical that's amazing. From a clinical that's amazing. From a clinical perspective, that's a fire alarm. perspective, that's a fire alarm. perspective, that's a fire alarm. We can't let the product become a We can't let the product become a We can't let the product become a beautifully designed avoidance loop. beautifully designed avoidance loop. beautifully designed avoidance loop. Relationship AI should help the user Relationship AI should help the user Relationship AI should help the user return to the relationship better than return to the relationship better than return to the relationship better than they came in, more regulated, more they came in, more regulated, more they came in, more regulated, more honest, less defended, less reactive. honest, less defended, less reactive. honest, less defended, less reactive. As a therapist, my job is to work myself As a therapist, my job is to work myself As a therapist, my job is to work myself out of a job, so that you don't need me out of a job, so that you don't need me out of a job, so that you don't need me anymore. I've taught you some skills. anymore. I've taught you some skills. anymore. I've taught you some skills. See, most people think therapy is a See, most people think therapy is a See, most people think therapy is a place where someone listens to you, place where someone listens to you, place where someone listens to you, validates your experience, helps you validates your experience, helps you validates your experience, helps you feel understood, and helps makes gives feel understood, and helps makes gives feel understood, and helps makes gives you some tools for communication. And you some tools for communication. And you some tools for communication. And that is partially true. that is partially true. that is partially true. But it's missing the thing that actually But it's missing the thing that actually But it's missing the thing that actually makes therapy work. makes therapy work. makes therapy work. Real therapy, and particularly couples Real therapy, and particularly couples Real therapy, and particularly couples therapy, is a place where someone who therapy, is a place where someone who therapy, is a place where someone who knows what they are doing tells you knows what they are doing tells you knows what they are doing tells you things you don't want to hear. things you don't want to hear. things you don't want to hear. A good couples therapist is not A good couples therapist is not A good couples therapist is not primarily interested in making you feel primarily interested in making you feel primarily interested in making you feel validated. A good couples therapist is validated. A good couples therapist is validated. A good couples therapist is interested in helping you see clearly.

interested in helping you see clearly. interested in helping you see clearly. When a person in my office tells me When a person in my office tells me When a person in my office tells me their partner never listens to them, I their partner never listens to them, I their partner never listens to them, I do not say that sounds really hard. do not say that sounds really hard. do not say that sounds really hard. I channel Ted Lasso when he said, "Be I channel Ted Lasso when he said, "Be I channel Ted Lasso when he said, "Be curious, not judgmental." curious, not judgmental." curious, not judgmental." So, I start asking questions. I ask So, I start asking questions. I ask So, I start asking questions. I ask about what they were discussing when about what they were discussing when about what they were discussing when their partner stopped listening. I ask their partner stopped listening. I ask their partner stopped listening. I ask about the tone. I look for the pattern about the tone. I look for the pattern about the tone. I look for the pattern underneath the complaint because in 30 underneath the complaint because in 30 underneath the complaint because in 30 years of working with couples, I've years of working with couples, I've years of working with couples, I've never seen a one-sided problem. never seen a one-sided problem. never seen a one-sided problem. Now, if you open your preferred AI Now, if you open your preferred AI Now, if you open your preferred AI assistant and type this, "My partner assistant and type this, "My partner assistant and type this, "My partner never really listens to me when I'm never really listens to me when I'm never really listens to me when I'm trying to tell them something important, trying to tell them something important, trying to tell them something important, they start looking at their phone." they start looking at their phone." they start looking at their phone." You're going to get back something like You're going to get back something like You're going to get back something like this. this. this. "That sounds really invalidating. Your "That sounds really invalidating. Your "That sounds really invalidating. Your feelings are completely valid. It's feelings are completely valid. It's feelings are completely valid. It's important that your partner gives you important that your partner gives you important that your partner gives you their full attention. Have you tried their full attention. Have you tried their full attention. Have you tried expressing to them how this behavior expressing to them how this behavior expressing to them how this behavior makes you feel?" makes you feel?" makes you feel?" Ladies and gentlemen, that's not Ladies and gentlemen, that's not Ladies and gentlemen, that's not therapy. That is a very expensive mirror therapy. That is a very expensive mirror therapy. That is a very expensive mirror that only shows you in your best light. that only shows you in your best light. that only shows you in your best light. There's a technical name for this. We've There's a technical name for this. We've There's a technical name for this. We've been talking about it for a long time been talking about it for a long time been talking about it for a long time with these models. It's called with these models. It's called with these models. It's called sycophancy.

sycophancy. sycophancy. In relationship context, sycophancy is In relationship context, sycophancy is In relationship context, sycophancy is not a minor product issue. Sycophancy in not a minor product issue. Sycophancy in not a minor product issue. Sycophancy in relationship AI is a clinical failure relationship AI is a clinical failure relationship AI is a clinical failure mode with real downstream consequences, mode with real downstream consequences, mode with real downstream consequences, and here's why. When a person uses AI to and here's why. When a person uses AI to and here's why. When a person uses AI to process a conflict with their partner, process a conflict with their partner, process a conflict with their partner, and the AI consistently validates their and the AI consistently validates their and the AI consistently validates their interpretation of events, something interpretation of events, something interpretation of events, something happens over time. happens over time. happens over time. The person does not become more The person does not become more The person does not become more self-aware. They become more certain. self-aware. They become more certain. self-aware. They become more certain. They come back to the relationship in They come back to the relationship in They come back to the relationship in the shape of an attorney the shape of an attorney the shape of an attorney with cleaner narrative, stronger case, with cleaner narrative, stronger case, with cleaner narrative, stronger case, and less curiosity about what their and less curiosity about what their and less curiosity about what their partner was experiencing. We have built partner was experiencing. We have built partner was experiencing. We have built the world's most persuasive validation the world's most persuasive validation the world's most persuasive validation machine and handed it to people in the machine and handed it to people in the machine and handed it to people in the middle of their most sensitive middle of their most sensitive middle of their most sensitive interpersonal dynamics. interpersonal dynamics. interpersonal dynamics. General AI systems are built to be General AI systems are built to be General AI systems are built to be helpful, agreeable, and fast, which is a helpful, agreeable, and fast, which is a helpful, agreeable, and fast, which is a terrible personality for a couples terrible personality for a couples terrible personality for a couples therapist. therapist. therapist. A helpful, agreeable, fast couples A helpful, agreeable, fast couples A helpful, agreeable, fast couples therapist is basically a bartender with therapist is basically a bartender with therapist is basically a bartender with better vocabulary. better vocabulary. better vocabulary. They will make you feel better for 20 They will make you feel better for 20 They will make you feel better for 20 minutes, and then you will go home and minutes, and then you will go home and minutes, and then you will go home and ruin your life with astounding ruin your life with astounding ruin your life with astounding confidence.

confidence. confidence. So, what does good look like? So, what does good look like? So, what does good look like? I want to introduce you to a researcher I want to introduce you to a researcher I want to introduce you to a researcher named John Gottman. Some of you may have named John Gottman. Some of you may have named John Gottman. Some of you may have heard about him. heard about him. heard about him. Uh for those not, the short version is Uh for those not, the short version is Uh for those not, the short version is Gottman spent 40 years running what he Gottman spent 40 years running what he Gottman spent 40 years running what he called the love lab at the University of called the love lab at the University of called the love lab at the University of Washington. He brought couples in to a Washington. He brought couples in to a Washington. He brought couples in to a research apartment, wired them to research apartment, wired them to research apartment, wired them to physiological monitors, filmed every physiological monitors, filmed every physiological monitors, filmed every interaction, and he did this for interaction, and he did this for interaction, and he did this for decades. decades. decades. From that research, he identified From that research, he identified From that research, he identified specific communication patterns that specific communication patterns that specific communication patterns that predict divorce with over 90% predict divorce with over 90% predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. accuracy. accuracy. Not relationship dissatisfaction or Not relationship dissatisfaction or Not relationship dissatisfaction or unhappiness, divorce. Predicted it with unhappiness, divorce. Predicted it with unhappiness, divorce. Predicted it with more accuracy than most medical tests we more accuracy than most medical tests we more accuracy than most medical tests we we trust with our lives from a 15-minute we trust with our lives from a 15-minute we trust with our lives from a 15-minute conversation. conversation. conversation. Alongside Gottman's work, Alongside Gottman's work, Alongside Gottman's work, the other most rigorously validated the other most rigorously validated the other most rigorously validated framework in couples research is framework in couples research is framework in couples research is emotionally focused therapy, developed emotionally focused therapy, developed emotionally focused therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. by Dr. Sue Johnson. by Dr. Sue Johnson. EFT is grounded in attachment theory. EFT is grounded in attachment theory. EFT is grounded in attachment theory. Its core insight is that beneath almost Its core insight is that beneath almost Its core insight is that beneath almost every surface-level argument in a every surface-level argument in a every surface-level argument in a relationship, there is something else.

relationship, there is something else. relationship, there is something else. When couples fight about the dishes, When couples fight about the dishes, When couples fight about the dishes, it's never about the dishes. it's never about the dishes. it's never about the dishes. EFT helps partners access the underlying EFT helps partners access the underlying EFT helps partners access the underlying emotional layers and respond to each emotional layers and respond to each emotional layers and respond to each other there, other there, other there, rather than continuing to argue about rather than continuing to argue about rather than continuing to argue about the surface content. It's the surface content. It's the surface content. It's extraordinarily effective. The outcome extraordinarily effective. The outcome extraordinarily effective. The outcome research is among the strongest in research is among the strongest in research is among the strongest in psychotherapy. It takes years of psychotherapy. It takes years of psychotherapy. It takes years of training training training to effectively use Gottman or EFT. They to effectively use Gottman or EFT. They to effectively use Gottman or EFT. They are train They are the standard care for are train They are the standard care for are train They are the standard care for couples intervention, and they are couples intervention, and they are couples intervention, and they are almost entirely absent from the almost entirely absent from the almost entirely absent from the commercial AI relationship space. commercial AI relationship space. commercial AI relationship space. What most relationship apps are built on What most relationship apps are built on What most relationship apps are built on is something that might be called is something that might be called is something that might be called general empathy plus communication tips. general empathy plus communication tips. general empathy plus communication tips. And that's fine. And that's fine. And that's fine. But when the stakes are this high, when But when the stakes are this high, when But when the stakes are this high, when the technology is reaching this many the technology is reaching this many the technology is reaching this many people, we need better. people, we need better. people, we need better. The next thing we have to talk about The next thing we have to talk about The next thing we have to talk about safety. safety. safety. Right now, Right now, Right now, someone is in a relationship where someone is in a relationship where someone is in a relationship where things are starting to turn. things are starting to turn. things are starting to turn. Control, isolation, Control, isolation, Control, isolation, escalation, and instead of a hotline or escalation, and instead of a hotline or escalation, and instead of a hotline or a trained advocate, they open an AI a trained advocate, they open an AI a trained advocate, they open an AI assistant and ask for advice on how to assistant and ask for advice on how to assistant and ask for advice on how to make things better at home.

make things better at home. make things better at home. A general-purpose AI doesn't know what a A general-purpose AI doesn't know what a A general-purpose AI doesn't know what a domestic violence specialist catches in domestic violence specialist catches in domestic violence specialist catches in the first 90 seconds, the difference the first 90 seconds, the difference the first 90 seconds, the difference between we fight a lot between we fight a lot between we fight a lot and I'm afraid of what happens when I and I'm afraid of what happens when I and I'm afraid of what happens when I disagree with him. disagree with him. disagree with him. It doesn't know that I just have to stay It doesn't know that I just have to stay It doesn't know that I just have to stay calm is sometimes the exact sentence calm is sometimes the exact sentence calm is sometimes the exact sentence someone is taught to say right before someone is taught to say right before someone is taught to say right before something terrible happens. something terrible happens. something terrible happens. It doesn't know when relationship advice It doesn't know when relationship advice It doesn't know when relationship advice has stopped being the right category of has stopped being the right category of has stopped being the right category of help. And it isn't only domestic help. And it isn't only domestic help. And it isn't only domestic violence. Relationship coaching sits violence. Relationship coaching sits violence. Relationship coaching sits closer to suicide risk and yes, homicide closer to suicide risk and yes, homicide closer to suicide risk and yes, homicide risk risk risk than almost any other corner of mental than almost any other corner of mental than almost any other corner of mental health. health. health. I've sat across from people in real I've sat across from people in real I've sat across from people in real dangers more times than I care to think dangers more times than I care to think dangers more times than I care to think about, and every licensed clinician is about, and every licensed clinician is about, and every licensed clinician is trained for that moment. Relationship AI trained for that moment. Relationship AI trained for that moment. Relationship AI products are not built for that moment. products are not built for that moment. products are not built for that moment. So, we talked about personal safety, So, we talked about personal safety, So, we talked about personal safety, let's talk about data safety. let's talk about data safety. let's talk about data safety. Think about the what you actually tell Think about the what you actually tell Think about the what you actually tell an AI relationship coach, the very first an AI relationship coach, the very first an AI relationship coach, the very first conversation. The fight from an hour conversation. The fight from an hour conversation. The fight from an hour ago. The thing your partner did that ago. The thing your partner did that ago. The thing your partner did that you've never told anyone. you've never told anyone. you've never told anyone. Financial secrets, Financial secrets, Financial secrets, affairs, mental health history, affairs, mental health history, affairs, mental health history, sometimes your kids' names.

sometimes your kids' names. sometimes your kids' names. That is without exaggeration some of the That is without exaggeration some of the That is without exaggeration some of the most sensitive data a human being most sensitive data a human being most sensitive data a human being generates, and a lot of it sits in generates, and a lot of it sits in generates, and a lot of it sits in training pipelines, server logs, and training pipelines, server logs, and training pipelines, server logs, and product analytics built by teams product analytics built by teams product analytics built by teams optimizing for engagement, not optimizing for engagement, not optimizing for engagement, not confidentiality. confidentiality. confidentiality. In my office, what you tell me is In my office, what you tell me is In my office, what you tell me is privileged. There's a legal and ethical privileged. There's a legal and ethical privileged. There's a legal and ethical framework built over decades governing framework built over decades governing framework built over decades governing exactly what I can and can't do with it. exactly what I can and can't do with it. exactly what I can and can't do with it. Consumer AI products have no equivalent. Consumer AI products have no equivalent. Consumer AI products have no equivalent. Your most vulnerable disclosures about Your most vulnerable disclosures about Your most vulnerable disclosures about your relationship may be sitting in the your relationship may be sitting in the your relationship may be sitting in the same data infrastructure as your search same data infrastructure as your search same data infrastructure as your search history and your shopping cart. history and your shopping cart. history and your shopping cart. And that should bother you. And that should bother you. And that should bother you. Now, all of this is not a critique of Now, all of this is not a critique of Now, all of this is not a critique of technology. This is a critique of technology. This is a critique of technology. This is a critique of insufficient domain expertise being insufficient domain expertise being insufficient domain expertise being applied to one of the highest stakes applied to one of the highest stakes applied to one of the highest stakes domains in human life. domains in human life. domains in human life. So, this is what we built. So, this is what we built. So, this is what we built. I want to tell you what we did I want to tell you what we did I want to tell you what we did differently at Couple Work and what differently at Couple Work and what differently at Couple Work and what we're learning. we're learning. we're learning. Not as an advertisement, as a design Not as an advertisement, as a design Not as an advertisement, as a design case study and what it looks like to case study and what it looks like to case study and what it looks like to take take take to take the clinical standards seriously to take the clinical standards seriously to take the clinical standards seriously from the ground up. from the ground up. from the ground up. We built Maxine, our AI coach, We built Maxine, our AI coach, We built Maxine, our AI coach, named for what it's worth after my named for what it's worth after my named for what it's worth after my grandmother.

grandmother. grandmother. She was a piece of work. She was a piece of work. She was a piece of work. Maxine operates with the Gottman Method Maxine operates with the Gottman Method Maxine operates with the Gottman Method and EFT frameworks. That means her and EFT frameworks. That means her and EFT frameworks. That means her response logic is grounded in 40 years response logic is grounded in 40 years response logic is grounded in 40 years of couples research. She does not simply of couples research. She does not simply of couples research. She does not simply validate. She reflects patterns back. validate. She reflects patterns back. validate. She reflects patterns back. She names dynamics, not just feelings. She names dynamics, not just feelings. She names dynamics, not just feelings. She asks the question underneath the She asks the question underneath the She asks the question underneath the question. question. question. We built Maxine to know what she doesn't We built Maxine to know what she doesn't We built Maxine to know what she doesn't know. Before she ever responds to a know. Before she ever responds to a know. Before she ever responds to a sensitive message, she's screening it sensitive message, she's screening it sensitive message, she's screening it quietly in the background for the quietly in the background for the quietly in the background for the patterns clinicians are trained to patterns clinicians are trained to patterns clinicians are trained to recognize. Escalating control, recognize. Escalating control, recognize. Escalating control, fear-based language, anything pointing fear-based language, anything pointing fear-based language, anything pointing toward risk to the user or someone else. toward risk to the user or someone else. toward risk to the user or someone else. When those patterns show up, Maxine When those patterns show up, Maxine When those patterns show up, Maxine stops coaching and starts following the stops coaching and starts following the stops coaching and starts following the protocols. And we built those protocols protocols. And we built those protocols protocols. And we built those protocols out of 30 years of clinical practice, out of 30 years of clinical practice, out of 30 years of clinical practice, not a generic safety policy written by not a generic safety policy written by not a generic safety policy written by someone who's never sat in the room. someone who's never sat in the room. someone who's never sat in the room. Knowing when not to coach is just as Knowing when not to coach is just as Knowing when not to coach is just as important as to know how. important as to know how. important as to know how. A relationship AI that can't tell the A relationship AI that can't tell the A relationship AI that can't tell the difference between we're struggling and difference between we're struggling and difference between we're struggling and I'm not safe isn't incomplete, it's I'm not safe isn't incomplete, it's I'm not safe isn't incomplete, it's dangerous at scale.

dangerous at scale. dangerous at scale. When it comes to personal data, we treat When it comes to personal data, we treat When it comes to personal data, we treat what you tell Maxine the way I treat what you tell Maxine the way I treat what you tell Maxine the way I treat what you tell me in my office, as what you tell me in my office, as what you tell me in my office, as privileged. That's the bar we hold privileged. That's the bar we hold privileged. That's the bar we hold ourselves to. ourselves to. ourselves to. Not is this legally defensible, the bar Not is this legally defensible, the bar Not is this legally defensible, the bar is would I be comfortable if this were is would I be comfortable if this were is would I be comfortable if this were my own marriage on the line because a my own marriage on the line because a my own marriage on the line because a lot of our users lot of our users lot of our users it is. it is. it is. And she's available And she's available And she's available at 11:00 on a Tuesday night when the at 11:00 on a Tuesday night when the at 11:00 on a Tuesday night when the argument is live, argument is live, argument is live, When you don't have to wait for next When you don't have to wait for next When you don't have to wait for next week's therapy appointment. Immediacy is week's therapy appointment. Immediacy is week's therapy appointment. Immediacy is important because a good intervention 6 important because a good intervention 6 important because a good intervention 6 days later is fine, but an informed days later is fine, but an informed days later is fine, but an informed intervention 6 seconds before you send intervention 6 seconds before you send intervention 6 seconds before you send the text that makes everything worse can the text that makes everything worse can the text that makes everything worse can be life-changing. be life-changing. be life-changing. The research shows that a majority of The research shows that a majority of The research shows that a majority of couples wait 6 years before seeking couples wait 6 years before seeking couples wait 6 years before seeking professional help. professional help. professional help. That wait They wait until contempt is That wait They wait until contempt is That wait They wait until contempt is baked in. baked in. baked in. They wait until after the affair. They wait until after the affair. They wait until after the affair. They wait until the relationship is They wait until the relationship is They wait until the relationship is basically a crime scene and then say basically a crime scene and then say basically a crime scene and then say maybe we should talk to somebody. That's maybe we should talk to somebody. That's maybe we should talk to somebody. That's when they come into my office. when they come into my office. when they come into my office. So, if AI can help people engender So, if AI can help people engender So, if AI can help people engender engage earlier engage earlier engage earlier before everything hardens, that's good.

before everything hardens, that's good. before everything hardens, that's good. It's really good. It's really good. It's really good. And I want the AI engineers in this room And I want the AI engineers in this room And I want the AI engineers in this room to hear that. to hear that. to hear that. This is not a consumer app opportunity. This is not a consumer app opportunity. This is not a consumer app opportunity. This is a public health opportunity This is a public health opportunity This is a public health opportunity hiding inside consumer behavior. hiding inside consumer behavior. hiding inside consumer behavior. This can be done well. This can be done well. This can be done well. It must be done well. It must be done well. It must be done well. And to round things up, I'm going to ask And to round things up, I'm going to ask And to round things up, I'm going to ask my co-founder Tony to come up and speak my co-founder Tony to come up and speak my co-founder Tony to come up and speak a little engineer language. a little engineer language. a little engineer language. >> Just >> Just >> Just very briefly very briefly very briefly I've got my mic on. Hello. Hello. Awesome, thank you. So, just very Awesome, thank you. So, just very Awesome, thank you. So, just very briefly, um how do you do something like briefly, um how do you do something like briefly, um how do you do something like this? this? this? Some quick notes. Start with your Some quick notes. Start with your Some quick notes. Start with your clinician, not with your prompt. clinician, not with your prompt. clinician, not with your prompt. Sit with your clinician Sit with your clinician Sit with your clinician uh uh uh encode what good looks like in evals. encode what good looks like in evals. encode what good looks like in evals. Write hundreds of evals TDD style. That Write hundreds of evals TDD style. That Write hundreds of evals TDD style. That becomes becomes becomes your your your your number one tool. your number one tool. your number one tool. Watch those evals fail. Run your agent Watch those evals fail. Run your agent Watch those evals fail. Run your agent through them thousands of times, tens of through them thousands of times, tens of through them thousands of times, tens of thousands of times. thousands of times. thousands of times. Watch for those outliers. When safety's Watch for those outliers. When safety's Watch for those outliers. When safety's on the line, even one failing test is on the line, even one failing test is on the line, even one failing test is not okay.

not okay. not okay. Then Then Then no matter how many evals you run and no matter how many evals you run and no matter how many evals you run and write write write nothing replaces your gut when emotional nothing replaces your gut when emotional nothing replaces your gut when emotional context is on the line. So, eat your own context is on the line. So, eat your own context is on the line. So, eat your own dog food. Talk to your agent. Feel when the tone starts shifting off. Feel when the tone starts shifting off. So, I've been using Couplework as I've So, I've been using Couplework as I've So, I've been using Couplework as I've been developing it with my partner since been developing it with my partner since been developing it with my partner since the beginning of my relationship. the beginning of my relationship. the beginning of my relationship. And Maxine really challenged me about And Maxine really challenged me about And Maxine really challenged me about how I showed up. how I showed up. how I showed up. Um we worked through some Um we worked through some Um we worked through some serious situations early on. serious situations early on. serious situations early on. And as our relationship started to And as our relationship started to And as our relationship started to thrive, thrive, thrive, we continued talking to Maxine about the we continued talking to Maxine about the we continued talking to Maxine about the next milestones, like moving in next milestones, like moving in next milestones, like moving in together. together. together. Um and recently, I asked my partner to Um and recently, I asked my partner to Um and recently, I asked my partner to marry me. She said yes. marry me. She said yes. marry me. She said yes. So, So, So, um so the Thank you. Thank you. Thank um so the Thank you. Thank you. Thank um so the Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, the the biggest the biggest you. So, the the biggest the biggest you. So, the the biggest the biggest takeaway takeaway takeaway uh from all of this I hope that you get uh from all of this I hope that you get uh from all of this I hope that you get is this. is this. is this. Partner with a clinician who challenges Partner with a clinician who challenges Partner with a clinician who challenges you to aspire to create AI you to aspire to create AI you to aspire to create AI that meets the clinical standard. So, that meets the clinical standard. So, that meets the clinical standard. So, that you can create AI that challenges that you can create AI that challenges that you can create AI that challenges your users.

your users. your users. Thank you.