Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un | Lex Fridman Podcast #382

you know who drank is Churchill that's you know who drank is Churchill that's my whole that's my guy yeah you know my whole that's my guy yeah you know my whole that's my guy yeah you know that's my guy right so he uh he did that's my guy right so he uh he did that's my guy right so he uh he did champagne you don't have to tell me champagne you don't have to tell me champagne you don't have to tell me anything about Winston Churchill he I anything about Winston Churchill he I anything about Winston Churchill he I found out about his daily routine yeah found out about his daily routine yeah found out about his daily routine yeah so his daily routine was a big breakfast so his daily routine was a big breakfast so his daily routine was a big breakfast cigar coffee eggs honey Side Up toast cigar coffee eggs honey Side Up toast cigar coffee eggs honey Side Up toast bacon sausage tomato beans uh fruit bacon sausage tomato beans uh fruit bacon sausage tomato beans uh fruit orange juice soft Scotch cigar in bed orange juice soft Scotch cigar in bed orange juice soft Scotch cigar in bed and he'd sit there for three hours and and he'd sit there for three hours and and he'd sit there for three hours and then he get in the bathtub and drink then he get in the bathtub and drink then he get in the bathtub and drink champagne and then he'd go to lunch and champagne and then he'd go to lunch and champagne and then he'd go to lunch and have some goose with more champagne and have some goose with more champagne and have some goose with more champagne and then he'd take a nap and like I love then he'd take a nap and like I love then he'd take a nap and like I love that so every year on hit the day of his that so every year on hit the day of his that so every year on hit the day of his death I think it's January 24th I death I think it's January 24th I death I think it's January 24th I celebrate Winston Churchill's Life by celebrate Winston Churchill's Life by celebrate Winston Churchill's Life by living the way he did and so I have living the way he did and so I have living the way he did and so I have breakfast in bed with a soft scotch and breakfast in bed with a soft scotch and breakfast in bed with a soft scotch and I just party all day that would be the I just party all day that would be the I just party all day that would be the guy to drink with the following is a conversation with the following is a conversation with bird Chrysler a stand-up comedian bird Chrysler a stand-up comedian bird Chrysler a stand-up comedian podcaster actor and a man they call the podcaster actor and a man they call the podcaster actor and a man they call the machine machine machine I've been a fan of his comedy and I've been a fan of his comedy and I've been a fan of his comedy and podcasts for many years and I highly podcasts for many years and I highly podcasts for many years and I highly recommend you watch him on broadcast to recommend you watch him on broadcast to recommend you watch him on broadcast to Bears one cave with Tom Segura his Bears one cave with Tom Segura his Bears one cave with Tom Segura his cooking show called something's burning cooking show called something's burning cooking show called something's burning and finally the new movie that tells the and finally the new movie that tells the and finally the new movie that tells the story of the man the legend the machine story of the man the legend the machine story of the man the legend the machine this is the Lex Friedman podcast to this is the Lex Friedman podcast to this is the Lex Friedman podcast to support it please check out our sponsors support it please check out our sponsors support it please check out our sponsors in the description and now dear friends in the description and now dear friends in the description and now dear friends here's Bert Kreischer here's Bert Kreischer here's Bert Kreischer I read somewhere that you like Ernest I read somewhere that you like Ernest I read somewhere that you like Ernest Hemingway love him there's a quote Hemingway love him there's a quote Hemingway love him there's a quote there's nothing to writing all you do is

there's nothing to writing all you do is there's nothing to writing all you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed do sit down at a typewriter and bleed do sit down at a typewriter and bleed do you agree with that I agree I agree well you agree with that I agree I agree well you agree with that I agree I agree well I agree with that with journaling I agree with that with journaling I agree with that with journaling because I can't write um because I can't write um because I can't write um I can't write stand up like I can't I can't write stand up like I can't I can't write stand up like I can't write a bit but if I Journal I'll find write a bit but if I Journal I'll find write a bit but if I Journal I'll find something that I go just right something that I go just right something that I go just right kind of writing where your the pen is kind of writing where your the pen is kind of writing where your the pen is moving faster than your brain and moving faster than your brain and moving faster than your brain and they're kind of like doing it together they're kind of like doing it together they're kind of like doing it together the thing I liked about Ernest Hemingway the thing I liked about Ernest Hemingway the thing I liked about Ernest Hemingway this is so stupid this is so stupid this is so stupid I'm a little dyslexic and so I'm not a I'm a little dyslexic and so I'm not a I'm a little dyslexic and so I'm not a good reader and so he wrote very simply good reader and so he wrote very simply good reader and so he wrote very simply and it wasn't until after I read a bunch and it wasn't until after I read a bunch and it wasn't until after I read a bunch of Ernest Hemingway I was working in of Ernest Hemingway I was working in of Ernest Hemingway I was working in Barnes and Noble and this person said Barnes and Noble and this person said Barnes and Noble and this person said don't you love his titles and I was like don't you love his titles and I was like don't you love his titles and I was like yeah Sun Also Rises and they're like yeah Sun Also Rises and they're like yeah Sun Also Rises and they're like yeah but Now The Sun Also Rises and I yeah but Now The Sun Also Rises and I yeah but Now The Sun Also Rises and I was like yeah it's almost Rises and I'm was like yeah it's almost Rises and I'm was like yeah it's almost Rises and I'm like no this no the Sun Also arises and like no this no the Sun Also arises and like no this no the Sun Also arises and I went I went I went oh oh oh yeah that is fucking badass yeah and yeah that is fucking badass yeah and yeah that is fucking badass yeah and then I'm like always late to the party then I'm like always late to the party then I'm like always late to the party with anything and then that night we with anything and then that night we with anything and then that night we were all doing coke and uh it was like were all doing coke and uh it was like were all doing coke and uh it was like five in the morning and we ended up on five in the morning and we ended up on five in the morning and we ended up on the roof of my apartment in Greenwich the roof of my apartment in Greenwich the roof of my apartment in Greenwich Village um the the like I'm a sunset guy I go up um the the like I'm a sunset guy I go up in Florida but sunrises in New York are in Florida but sunrises in New York are in Florida but sunrises in New York are electric blue like electric blue electric blue like electric blue electric blue like electric blue and I was like and I was like and I was like The Sun Also Rises The Sun Also Rises The Sun Also Rises yeah he was so good yeah he was so good yeah he was so good with just a handful of words the with just a handful of words the with just a handful of words the Simplicity the choice of words like uh Simplicity the choice of words like uh Simplicity the choice of words like uh basically his process is carving down basically his process is carving down basically his process is carving down right drunk edit Sober by drunk at it

right drunk edit Sober by drunk at it right drunk edit Sober by drunk at it sober yeah but he was good at like at sober yeah but he was good at like at sober yeah but he was good at like at like like like a small amount of words to to get a a small amount of words to to get a a small amount of words to to get a point across I'm the exact fucking point across I'm the exact fucking point across I'm the exact fucking opposite well he's also said uh the opposite well he's also said uh the opposite well he's also said uh the first draft of anything is always shit first draft of anything is always shit first draft of anything is always shit is that uh is that true for you I think is that uh is that true for you I think is that uh is that true for you I think so so so the best one I have he goes downhill the best one I have he goes downhill the best one I have he goes downhill from there so for you editing is from there so for you editing is from there so for you editing is destroying the original the first time I destroying the original the first time I destroying the original the first time I tell the first time I tell it it's tell the first time I tell it it's tell the first time I tell it it's perfect perfect perfect it's perfect it just it works and then I it's perfect it just it works and then I it's perfect it just it works and then I go great and then I take it and I try to go great and then I take it and I try to go great and then I take it and I try to fix it and make it better and jazzier I fix it and make it better and jazzier I fix it and make it better and jazzier I just joke and Razzle Dazzle about my just joke and Razzle Dazzle about my just joke and Razzle Dazzle about my daughters and I driving past the deaf daughters and I driving past the deaf daughters and I driving past the deaf child's line child's line child's line and uh I just told it on stage it just and uh I just told it on stage it just and uh I just told it on stage it just happened and Louie was in the audience happened and Louie was in the audience happened and Louie was in the audience because I love that joke I said really because I love that joke I said really because I love that joke I said really he goes yeah and I just told it and I he goes yeah and I just told it and I he goes yeah and I just told it and I went done Louis CK says he likes a joke went done Louis CK says he likes a joke went done Louis CK says he likes a joke it's fucking it's in the special it's fucking it's in the special it's fucking it's in the special and I tried to fucking Razzle Dazzle and I tried to fucking Razzle Dazzle and I tried to fucking Razzle Dazzle that joke into like a 15 minute bit it that joke into like a 15 minute bit it that joke into like a 15 minute bit it got to the point where it was so got to the point where it was so got to the point where it was so obnoxious it was so bad that I I told obnoxious it was so bad that I I told obnoxious it was so bad that I I told him I I did a podcast with him I said him I I did a podcast with him I said him I I did a podcast with him I said what did you like about that joke what did you like about that joke what did you like about that joke because I can't get it to work anymore because I can't get it to work anymore because I can't get it to work anymore because it was just simple it was simple because it was just simple it was simple because it was just simple it was simple that your daughter didn't know how that your daughter didn't know how that your daughter didn't know how they'd figure out where deaf kids lived they'd figure out where deaf kids lived they'd figure out where deaf kids lived oh that's it oh that's it oh that's it he's like yeah I was like nothing about he's like yeah I was like nothing about he's like yeah I was like nothing about gun control and he was like huh I was gun control and he was like huh I was gun control and he was like huh I was like oh fuck man I really fucked that like oh fuck man I really fucked that like oh fuck man I really fucked that joke up and then I had to I had to go joke up and then I had to I had to go joke up and then I had to I had to go back to the beginning of it but that back to the beginning of it but that back to the beginning of it but that first time first time first time that's when that's when the joke comes that's when that's when the joke comes that's when that's when the joke comes out purest for me and then it's always

out purest for me and then it's always out purest for me and then it's always chasing back to get that get that first chasing back to get that get that first chasing back to get that get that first telling some jokes are different like telling some jokes are different like telling some jokes are different like the machine obviously was a much longer the machine obviously was a much longer the machine obviously was a much longer story and like in like escape room for story and like in like escape room for story and like in like escape room for this one the longer stories take a this one the longer stories take a this one the longer stories take a little work but the the simple ones little work but the the simple ones little work but the the simple ones like like the deaf child in pajamas and like like the deaf child in pajamas and like like the deaf child in pajamas and those first times are perfect what do those first times are perfect what do those first times are perfect what do you think is it you think is it you think is it is it about the machine story that works is it about the machine story that works is it about the machine story that works that was so uh captivating for people I think it's a I think I don't know I I think it's a I think I don't know I really wish I I don't know I think it's really wish I I don't know I think it's really wish I I don't know I think it's a good story I think it's a good story I a good story I think it's a good story I a good story I think it's a good story I think everyone has something similar think everyone has something similar think everyone has something similar that happened in their life where they that happened in their life where they that happened in their life where they had a crazy night and that no one had a crazy night and that no one had a crazy night and that no one believed and they told their friends and believed and they told their friends and believed and they told their friends and their friend and and or they experienced their friend and and or they experienced their friend and and or they experienced that with a friend like that and and that with a friend like that and and that with a friend like that and and I think I think I think I think that's got to be it I really I think that's got to be it I really I think that's got to be it I really don't know I think there's a part of I don't know I think there's a part of I don't know I think there's a part of I think there's a part of the like our think there's a part of the like our think there's a part of the like our community of Comedy fans that were that community of Comedy fans that were that community of Comedy fans that were that early death squad that was fun to watch early death squad that was fun to watch early death squad that was fun to watch someone take something from the podcast someone take something from the podcast someone take something from the podcast and turn it into a bit on stage yeah I and turn it into a bit on stage yeah I and turn it into a bit on stage yeah I think there's a lot of that but I think think there's a lot of that but I think think there's a lot of that but I think people identify with a wild crazy night people identify with a wild crazy night people identify with a wild crazy night that got out of control that they've that got out of control that they've that got out of control that they've probably had too I I think I don't probably had too I I think I don't probably had too I I think I don't fucking know fucking know fucking know you think Putin knows who you are you think Putin knows who you are you think Putin knows who you are because of that story I hope so because of that story I hope so because of that story I hope so my fucking hope so my fucking hope so my fucking hope so I hope so but there's there's a part of I hope so but there's there's a part of I hope so but there's there's a part of me that that you gotta understand is me that that you gotta understand is me that that you gotta understand is like I'm not like I'm not like I'm not I say stuff like that I'm sure there's

I say stuff like that I'm sure there's I say stuff like that I'm sure there's someone hears that and they go who is someone hears that and they go who is someone hears that and they go who is this fucking narcissist you're like no this fucking narcissist you're like no this fucking narcissist you're like no that's not it I'm just telling you the that's not it I'm just telling you the that's not it I'm just telling you the truth like I understand what I'm truth like I understand what I'm truth like I understand what I'm supposed to say well you know I don't supposed to say well you know I don't supposed to say well you know I don't know I you know I I don't know that's know I you know I I don't know that's know I you know I I don't know that's hard to say but I don't fucking give a hard to say but I don't fucking give a hard to say but I don't fucking give a shit about that guy I'm not that guy I'm shit about that guy I'm not that guy I'm shit about that guy I'm not that guy I'm telling you everything that comes out of telling you everything that comes out of telling you everything that comes out of my mouth the second it comes out I'm my mouth the second it comes out I'm my mouth the second it comes out I'm gonna be 100 honest I don't know any gonna be 100 honest I don't know any gonna be 100 honest I don't know any other way to live I kind of hope so that other way to live I kind of hope so that other way to live I kind of hope so that would be fucking cool and I look I know would be fucking cool and I look I know would be fucking cool and I look I know he's about I guess he's a bad dude I he's about I guess he's a bad dude I he's about I guess he's a bad dude I don't follow politics ton but it'll be don't follow politics ton but it'll be don't follow politics ton but it'll be cool if like one day someone's like uh cool if like one day someone's like uh cool if like one day someone's like uh he's he's on his computer and some guy he's he's on his computer and some guy he's he's on his computer and some guy goes and he's like yeah goes and he's like yeah goes and he's like yeah and he's like duh and he's like duh and he's like duh and he's like and it shows it to him and and he's like and it shows it to him and and he's like and it shows it to him and and then he's like a fucking this guy and then he's like a fucking this guy and then he's like a fucking this guy huh it's not out of the realm of huh it's not out of the realm of huh it's not out of the realm of possibility that uh Putin has watched it possibility that uh Putin has watched it possibility that uh Putin has watched it and yeah this this podcast this has kind and yeah this this podcast this has kind and yeah this this podcast this has kind of made me realize how like small the of made me realize how like small the of made me realize how like small the world is I've gotten to meet some world is I've gotten to meet some world is I've gotten to meet some incredibly oh like especially the incredibly oh like especially the incredibly oh like especially the interesting people like that's I mean interesting people like that's I mean interesting people like that's I mean that's the thing where I go that's the thing where I go that's the thing where I go like it's gotten really crazy like it's gotten really crazy like it's gotten really crazy the internet's really insane and Netflix the internet's really insane and Netflix the internet's really insane and Netflix is really insane and the reach of like is really insane and the reach of like is really insane and the reach of like people that like this is really simple people that like this is really simple people that like this is really simple but like I'm a big fan of the show drink but like I'm a big fan of the show drink but like I'm a big fan of the show drink Champs I didn't think in a million years Champs I didn't think in a million years Champs I didn't think in a million years Nori would ever know who I was Nori would ever know who I was Nori would ever know who I was and then he offered me to come to his and then he offered me to come to his and then he offered me to come to his podcast and then when I got there he podcast and then when I got there he podcast and then when I got there he told me he was a fan of mine and I went told me he was a fan of mine and I went told me he was a fan of mine and I went like I remember moving to New York like I remember moving to New York like I remember moving to New York listening to you and Capone like I'm listening to you and Capone like I'm listening to you and Capone like I'm sitting there going wow sitting there going wow sitting there going wow like and then and the phone calls I've like and then and the phone calls I've like and then and the phone calls I've gotten since the movie came out and uh

gotten since the movie came out and uh gotten since the movie came out and uh since Razzle Dazzle came out have been since Razzle Dazzle came out have been since Razzle Dazzle came out have been really insane when you realize really insane when you realize really insane when you realize as much as I know about people and I I as much as I know about people and I I as much as I know about people and I I like there's people I'm fans of that like there's people I'm fans of that like there's people I'm fans of that don't know who I am that like that are don't know who I am that like that are don't know who I am that like that are like they're like some uh pitcher in like they're like some uh pitcher in like they're like some uh pitcher in fucking Florida that I follow the kids I fucking Florida that I follow the kids I fucking Florida that I follow the kids I like I think it's fun to watch him pitch like I think it's fun to watch him pitch like I think it's fun to watch him pitch there was a softball player in uh Tempe there was a softball player in uh Tempe there was a softball player in uh Tempe that she do catching drills and I was that she do catching drills and I was that she do catching drills and I was really into softball with my daughter really into softball with my daughter really into softball with my daughter and we watched her Casting girls there's and we watched her Casting girls there's and we watched her Casting girls there's a girl deglazer who me and my daughters a girl deglazer who me and my daughters a girl deglazer who me and my daughters would watch her dance videos and then I would watch her dance videos and then I would watch her dance videos and then I hit her up she's like you know who I am hit her up she's like you know who I am hit her up she's like you know who I am and you're like oh yeah that's the way and you're like oh yeah that's the way and you're like oh yeah that's the way the world Works uh what world leader the world Works uh what world leader the world Works uh what world leader would you drink with if you could you would you drink with if you could you would you drink with if you could you imagine Putin imagine Putin imagine Putin so Putin doesn't drink much yeah so Putin doesn't drink much yeah so Putin doesn't drink much yeah zielinski drinks more yeah but also not zielinski drinks more yeah but also not zielinski drinks more yeah but also not much of course yelson would have been a much of course yelson would have been a much of course yelson would have been a good one you would have been a fucking good one you would have been a fucking good one you would have been a fucking good one I mean like I I go Hitler was a good one I mean like I I go Hitler was a good one I mean like I I go Hitler was a pussy like he he drank wine with it with pussy like he he drank wine with it with pussy like he he drank wine with it with a cut with a spoonful of sugar in it a cut with a spoonful of sugar in it a cut with a spoonful of sugar in it you've never drank what Churchill that's you've never drank what Churchill that's you've never drank what Churchill that's why hold on that's my guy yeah you know why hold on that's my guy yeah you know why hold on that's my guy yeah you know that's my guy right no I don't know that's my guy right no I don't know that's my guy right no I don't know that's okay that's okay that's okay so he uh he did champagne you don't have so he uh he did champagne you don't have so he uh he did champagne you don't have to tell me anything about Winston to tell me anything about Winston to tell me anything about Winston Churchill he I found out about his daily Churchill he I found out about his daily Churchill he I found out about his daily routine yeah so his daily routine was a routine yeah so his daily routine was a routine yeah so his daily routine was a big breakfast cigar coffee eggs over you big breakfast cigar coffee eggs over you big breakfast cigar coffee eggs over you egg sunny side up toast bacon sausage egg sunny side up toast bacon sausage egg sunny side up toast bacon sausage tomato beans uh fruit orange juice soft tomato beans uh fruit orange juice soft tomato beans uh fruit orange juice soft Scotch cigar in bed and he sit there for Scotch cigar in bed and he sit there for Scotch cigar in bed and he sit there for three hours and he'd hold morning three hours and he'd hold morning three hours and he'd hold morning breakfast and that's they'd come in and breakfast and that's they'd come in and breakfast and that's they'd come in and he'd run through his day and then he'd

he'd run through his day and then he'd he'd run through his day and then he'd get in the bathtub for fucking an hour get in the bathtub for fucking an hour get in the bathtub for fucking an hour and drink champagne and then he'd go to and drink champagne and then he'd go to and drink champagne and then he'd go to lunch and have some Goose or whatever lunch and have some Goose or whatever lunch and have some Goose or whatever the fuck they ate back then with more the fuck they ate back then with more the fuck they ate back then with more champagne and then champagne and then champagne and then and then and then I mean and then you and then and then I mean and then you and then and then I mean and then you take a nap and like I love that so every take a nap and like I love that so every take a nap and like I love that so every year on the day of his death things year on the day of his death things year on the day of his death things January 24th I celebrate Winston January 24th I celebrate Winston January 24th I celebrate Winston Churchill's Life by living the way he Churchill's Life by living the way he Churchill's Life by living the way he did and so I have breakfast in bed with did and so I have breakfast in bed with did and so I have breakfast in bed with a soft scotch and I just party all a soft scotch and I just party all a soft scotch and I just party all fucking day that would be the guy to fucking day that would be the guy to fucking day that would be the guy to drink with that would be the guy if you drink with that would be the guy if you drink with that would be the guy if you could pick anyone to drink with he drank could pick anyone to drink with he drank could pick anyone to drink with he drank every day throughout the day he lives every day throughout the day he lives every day throughout the day he lives like 94. and was like 94. and was like 94. and was one of the most heroic figures in human one of the most heroic figures in human one of the most heroic figures in human history Never Never Surrender history Never Never Surrender history Never Never Surrender I mean what a fucking badass thing you I mean what a fucking badass thing you I mean what a fucking badass thing you know he taught he taught the Queen the know he taught he taught the Queen the know he taught he taught the Queen the queen was like uh like a like a window queen was like uh like a like a window queen was like uh like a like a window licking idiot right like she was she had licking idiot right like she was she had licking idiot right like she was she had a third grade education so like her dad a third grade education so like her dad a third grade education so like her dad dies and she's like 10 or 12 or whatever dies and she's like 10 or 12 or whatever dies and she's like 10 or 12 or whatever the first thing they do is they pull her the first thing they do is they pull her the first thing they do is they pull her out of school that I keep done learning out of school that I keep done learning out of school that I keep done learning he's just gonna be the queen you gotta he's just gonna be the queen you gotta he's just gonna be the queen you gotta know this is what you need to learn know this is what you need to learn know this is what you need to learn don't make let people make eye contact don't make let people make eye contact don't make let people make eye contact with you put your hand down like this with you put your hand down like this with you put your hand down like this don't let people touch you so she like don't let people touch you so she like don't let people touch you so she like she had like a really I saw the by the she had like a really I saw the by the she had like a really I saw the by the way I didn't do this research I just way I didn't do this research I just way I didn't do this research I just watched the crown okay and Winston watched the crown okay and Winston watched the crown okay and Winston Churchill kind of taught her about world Churchill kind of taught her about world Churchill kind of taught her about world politics and was they like coming and politics and was they like coming and politics and was they like coming and she'd be like Winston what did we do in she'd be like Winston what did we do in she'd be like Winston what did we do in Africa and he's like oh this is gonna be Africa and he's like oh this is gonna be Africa and he's like oh this is gonna be a tough one and so yeah so but Winston a tough one and so yeah so but Winston a tough one and so yeah so but Winston Churchill's the badass but if I had to Churchill's the badass but if I had to Churchill's the badass but if I had to drink with someone living like drink drink with someone living like drink drink with someone living like drink there's like there's a two obvious one there's like there's a two obvious one there's like there's a two obvious one like obviously it's fucking Kim Jong-un

like obviously it's fucking Kim Jong-un like obviously it's fucking Kim Jong-un right you kind of wanna he drinks no he right you kind of wanna he drinks no he right you kind of wanna he drinks no he does does does [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] you think my IVs are good in the morning you think my IVs are good in the morning you think my IVs are good in the morning you know Kim jong-un's IVs are next you know Kim jong-un's IVs are next you know Kim jong-un's IVs are next you're like I feel up and he's like it's you're like I feel up and he's like it's you're like I feel up and he's like it's amphetamine he would be a badass to amphetamine he would be a badass to amphetamine he would be a badass to drink with but he drinks hard liquor uh drink with but he drinks hard liquor uh drink with but he drinks hard liquor uh I think it's Scotch Johnny Walker Blue I think it's Scotch Johnny Walker Blue I think it's Scotch Johnny Walker Blue that's what I've heard that's what I've heard that's what I've heard I don't know where you heard this but I I don't know where you heard this but I I don't know where you heard this but I like this okay so I say things like that like this okay so I say things like that like this okay so I say things like that but then I'm sure I I I I I I I don't but then I'm sure I I I I I I I don't but then I'm sure I I I I I I I don't know if you've ever partied with someone know if you've ever partied with someone know if you've ever partied with someone who just parties a little different than who just parties a little different than who just parties a little different than you and then you notice like like you and then you notice like like you and then you notice like like sometimes celebr like athletes sometimes celebr like athletes sometimes celebr like athletes and then like you're at a strip club and and then like you're at a strip club and and then like you're at a strip club and then they they talk weird to a woman then they they talk weird to a woman then they they talk weird to a woman you're like oh that's not me I'm so you're like oh that's not me I'm so you're like oh that's not me I'm so sorry so that would be the thing the sorry so that would be the thing the sorry so that would be the thing the atrocities would be hard to get past atrocities would be hard to get past atrocities would be hard to get past with them that's just the atrocity but with them that's just the atrocity but with them that's just the atrocity but the way of being I agree with you I the way of being I agree with you I the way of being I agree with you I actually don't like drinking with actually don't like drinking with actually don't like drinking with rich and powerful people often there's rich and powerful people often there's rich and powerful people often there's something weird about them yeah not not something weird about them yeah not not something weird about them yeah not not all of them and I don't like I don't all of them and I don't like I don't all of them and I don't like I don't like a drinking meeting like with some like a drinking meeting like with some like a drinking meeting like with some of those let's let's of those let's let's of those let's let's people go like hey uh I'm taking you out people go like hey uh I'm taking you out people go like hey uh I'm taking you out tonight we're drinking yeah and then I tonight we're drinking yeah and then I tonight we're drinking yeah and then I go oh that's not the way I like to do it go oh that's not the way I like to do it go oh that's not the way I like to do it it gives me anxiety like it gives me anxiety like it gives me anxiety like um our lives are very different you and um our lives are very different you and um our lives are very different you and I yeah were you a fraternity no I yeah were you a fraternity no I yeah were you a fraternity no we could start there yet no it was not we could start there yet no it was not we could start there yet no it was not okay and the differences continue from there and the differences continue from there I'm sure so when you get your pleasure I'm sure so when you get your pleasure I'm sure so when you get your pleasure pin uh-huh they take you out and their pin uh-huh they take you out and their pin uh-huh they take you out and their whole thing is you're gonna we're whole thing is you're gonna we're whole thing is you're gonna we're getting you fucked up yeah that energy getting you fucked up yeah that energy getting you fucked up yeah that energy is not my energy I don't like that like

is not my energy I don't like that like is not my energy I don't like that like it's I just go why don't we just get it's I just go why don't we just get it's I just go why don't we just get drunk and feel really good about drunk and feel really good about drunk and feel really good about ourselves like I never like took ourselves like I never like took ourselves like I never like took mushrooms to see Jesus I just wanted to mushrooms to see Jesus I just wanted to mushrooms to see Jesus I just wanted to enjoy Rain-X on a windshield like so enjoy Rain-X on a windshield like so enjoy Rain-X on a windshield like so like that that for me like that that for me like that that for me uh is like one of my things so if if Kim uh is like one of my things so if if Kim uh is like one of my things so if if Kim Jong-un flew me to North Korea to drink Jong-un flew me to North Korea to drink Jong-un flew me to North Korea to drink with him I'd be like I'd have to start with him I'd be like I'd have to start with him I'd be like I'd have to start really getting blackout drunk on the really getting blackout drunk on the really getting blackout drunk on the plane to enjoy drinking with him that plane to enjoy drinking with him that plane to enjoy drinking with him that day day day what's your favorite like different what's your favorite like different what's your favorite like different occasions what's your favorite drink occasions what's your favorite drink occasions what's your favorite drink what's your favorite way of drinking what's your favorite way of drinking what's your favorite way of drinking it's it's I've got it varies so what are it's it's I've got it varies so what are it's it's I've got it varies so what are the different contexts here it's like the different contexts here it's like the different contexts here it's like one-on-one one-on-one one-on-one one-on-one like you sit down with I one-on-one like you sit down with I one-on-one like you sit down with I don't know Rogan invites you like it's a don't know Rogan invites you like it's a don't know Rogan invites you like it's a Godfather to sit down and finally have a Godfather to sit down and finally have a Godfather to sit down and finally have a talk about something it's going to be talk about something it's going to be talk about something it's going to be whiskey whiskey whiskey it's gonna be like a nice whiskey neat it's gonna be like a nice whiskey neat it's gonna be like a nice whiskey neat no I like it on the rocks and I like no I like it on the rocks and I like no I like it on the rocks and I like lots of rocks it won't be something lots of rocks it won't be something lots of rocks it won't be something expensive because Rogan is not he's not expensive because Rogan is not he's not expensive because Rogan is not he's not a fancy boy you know like he's a real a fancy boy you know like he's a real a fancy boy you know like he's a real regular he's a really regular dude regular he's a really regular dude regular he's a really regular dude he's gotten less regular the more he's gotten less regular the more he's gotten less regular the more millions of dollars he has I think millions of dollars he has I think millions of dollars he has I think there's parts of him where you're like there's parts of him where you're like there's parts of him where you're like yeah like where you're like oh wow we yeah like where you're like oh wow we yeah like where you're like oh wow we can do this yeah can do this yeah can do this yeah um but he's a right he'd be like Jack on um but he's a right he'd be like Jack on um but he's a right he'd be like Jack on the rocks or like Buffalo Trace or one the rocks or like Buffalo Trace or one the rocks or like Buffalo Trace or one of the maybe a little whiskey he's of the maybe a little whiskey he's of the maybe a little whiskey he's buying Rogan B uh whiskey rocks buying Rogan B uh whiskey rocks buying Rogan B uh whiskey rocks and then like that's a good one I and then like that's a good one I and then like that's a good one I haven't hung out with Joe by ourselves I haven't hung out with Joe by ourselves I haven't hung out with Joe by ourselves I take that back I was with him the other take that back I was with him the other take that back I was with him the other night but like I would be cool my times night but like I would be cool my times night but like I would be cool my times with Joe's are are always on podcasts with Joe's are are always on podcasts with Joe's are are always on podcasts yeah and his I missed the times where it

yeah and his I missed the times where it yeah and his I missed the times where it was we just have you and him at the was we just have you and him at the was we just have you and him at the store late night yeah I I'm okay with store late night yeah I I'm okay with store late night yeah I I'm okay with podcasts okay I used to think this is podcasts okay I used to think this is podcasts okay I used to think this is like uh performative or something like like uh performative or something like like uh performative or something like this but it's not really no that's just this but it's not really no that's just this but it's not really no that's just the chance to really sit down I enjoy it the chance to really sit down I enjoy it the chance to really sit down I enjoy it because of the people I could never sit because of the people I could never sit because of the people I could never sit down with ah like David Cross I would down with ah like David Cross I would down with ah like David Cross I would never sit down with David Cross because never sit down with David Cross because never sit down with David Cross because we don't run in the same circles and but we don't run in the same circles and but we don't run in the same circles and but it's nice he has something to promote it's nice he has something to promote it's nice he has something to promote and then he comes to my house and then and then he comes to my house and then and then he comes to my house and then we can sit down for an hour and talk and we can sit down for an hour and talk and we can sit down for an hour and talk and then and then or Kevin Smith like people then and then or Kevin Smith like people then and then or Kevin Smith like people I would never really hang out with Tom I would never really hang out with Tom I would never really hang out with Tom um um um I enjoy being alone with Tom Moore off I enjoy being alone with Tom Moore off I enjoy being alone with Tom Moore off Mike Tom Segura yeah we have a lot of Mike Tom Segura yeah we have a lot of Mike Tom Segura yeah we have a lot of history there's a lot of things secrets history there's a lot of things secrets history there's a lot of things secrets we know about each other and there's a we know about each other and there's a we know about each other and there's a lot of Secrets going on in our each lot of Secrets going on in our each lot of Secrets going on in our each other's lives that I would never share other's lives that I would never share other's lives that I would never share on podcasts that I'd that I can talk to on podcasts that I'd that I can talk to on podcasts that I'd that I can talk to him about and I really appreciate his him about and I really appreciate his him about and I really appreciate his and I know this isn't on brand of us and I know this isn't on brand of us and I know this isn't on brand of us beating each other up but like I really beating each other up but like I really beating each other up but like I really appreciate his insight as a as a dad and appreciate his insight as a as a dad and appreciate his insight as a as a dad and as a dude and as a son as a dude and as a son as a dude and as a son but but he makes me giggle harder than but but he makes me giggle harder than but but he makes me giggle harder than anyone so doing a podcast is fun so anyone so doing a podcast is fun so anyone so doing a podcast is fun so there's something on a podcast that's there's something on a podcast that's there's something on a podcast that's performative for you with him and then performative for you with him and then performative for you with him and then there's a party me and him because we're there's a party me and him because we're there's a party me and him because we're trying to make each other laugh but I'll trying to make each other laugh but I'll trying to make each other laugh but I'll tell you if we're going back to drinks tell you if we're going back to drinks tell you if we're going back to drinks I'll tell you I'll tell you I'll tell you like a great a great afternoon drink is like a great a great afternoon drink is like a great a great afternoon drink is a comparti spritz it's my one of my a comparti spritz it's my one of my a comparti spritz it's my one of my favorite drinks I don't even know what favorite drinks I don't even know what favorite drinks I don't even know what that is oh the party Spritz Campari is that is oh the party Spritz Campari is that is oh the party Spritz Campari is an interesting alcohol an interesting alcohol an interesting alcohol because I think it's a bitter uh or it's because I think it's a bitter uh or it's because I think it's a bitter uh or it's a liqueur and it's got a weird rooty

a liqueur and it's got a weird rooty a liqueur and it's got a weird rooty earthy taste it's red so it looks like earthy taste it's red so it looks like earthy taste it's red so it looks like Kool-Aid that's why I got into it I Kool-Aid that's why I got into it I Kool-Aid that's why I got into it I thought camparion ice would be oh so thought camparion ice would be oh so thought camparion ice would be oh so nice it was an old commercial but man nice it was an old commercial but man nice it was an old commercial but man it's fucking like sucking the green it's fucking like sucking the green it's fucking like sucking the green Giant's dick it is earthy what's earthy Giant's dick it is earthy what's earthy Giant's dick it is earthy what's earthy it's like it tastes like Roots it's oh it's like it tastes like Roots it's oh it's like it tastes like Roots it's oh nice it's not it's not it's there's a nice it's not it's not it's there's a nice it's not it's not it's there's a bitterness and like a it's just not bitterness and like a it's just not bitterness and like a it's just not great great great and then someone introduced me to a and then someone introduced me to a and then someone introduced me to a Negroni which is Campari and gin and a Negroni which is Campari and gin and a Negroni which is Campari and gin and a little soda water and then the Campari little soda water and then the Campari little soda water and then the Campari Spritz compari Spritz is Campari Spritz compari Spritz is Campari Spritz compari Spritz is Campari Prosecco and soda water in like a wine Prosecco and soda water in like a wine Prosecco and soda water in like a wine glass and it is glass and it is glass and it is so enjoyable it's got so many different so enjoyable it's got so many different so enjoyable it's got so many different profiles to it where you get the profiles to it where you get the profiles to it where you get the bitterness but the sweetness of the bitterness but the sweetness of the bitterness but the sweetness of the Prosecco and then it flattens it out Prosecco and then it flattens it out Prosecco and then it flattens it out with the soda water and it looks like with the soda water and it looks like with the soda water and it looks like Kool-Aid so I love it that's one of my Kool-Aid so I love it that's one of my Kool-Aid so I love it that's one of my favorite drinks to share in what context favorite drinks to share in what context favorite drinks to share in what context oh uh you're in Italy oh uh you're in Italy oh uh you're in Italy and you've been walking around Venice and you've been walking around Venice and you've been walking around Venice and everyone went their own ways and the and everyone went their own ways and the and everyone went their own ways and the whole family comes back together and you whole family comes back together and you whole family comes back together and you meet at a statue and and your wife's meet at a statue and and your wife's meet at a statue and and your wife's sweating and she's uncomfortable and sweating and she's uncomfortable and sweating and she's uncomfortable and your daughters are 16 and 18 and they're your daughters are 16 and 18 and they're your daughters are 16 and 18 and they're like are what are we gonna what are we like are what are we gonna what are we like are what are we gonna what are we doing with the rest of the day and you doing with the rest of the day and you doing with the rest of the day and you go hey guys it's Europe does anyone want go hey guys it's Europe does anyone want go hey guys it's Europe does anyone want to come party Spritz and everyone goes I to come party Spritz and everyone goes I to come party Spritz and everyone goes I don't know what that is and you go don't know what that is and you go don't know what that is and you go fucking party spreads now it's minor in fucking party spreads now it's minor in fucking party spreads now it's minor in alcohol so it's not going to light them alcohol so it's not going to light them alcohol so it's not going to light them up but it gives them a little bit of a up but it gives them a little bit of a up but it gives them a little bit of a buzz where they're like Dad These are buzz where they're like Dad These are buzz where they're like Dad These are nice Island didn't drink her so I drank nice Island didn't drink her so I drank nice Island didn't drink her so I drank hers I Georgia had hers Leanne had hers hers I Georgia had hers Leanne had hers hers I Georgia had hers Leanne had hers and we ordered another round I ordered and we ordered another round I ordered and we ordered another round I ordered and they're

and they're and they're fucking refreshing and the buzz is fucking refreshing and the buzz is fucking refreshing and the buzz is perfect it's not too much because it's perfect it's not too much because it's perfect it's not too much because it's just a little bit of champagne and some just a little bit of champagne and some just a little bit of champagne and some Campari if the buzz is perfect and then Campari if the buzz is perfect and then Campari if the buzz is perfect and then a couple of them and then they kind of a couple of them and then they kind of a couple of them and then they kind of disappear and then you're just walking disappear and then you're just walking disappear and then you're just walking around again that's a great fucking around again that's a great fucking around again that's a great fucking drink you ever drink alone drink you ever drink alone drink you ever drink alone [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] so there's a two kinds of a loan one is so there's a two kinds of a loan one is so there's a two kinds of a loan one is alone like at a bar oh wait there's alone like at a bar oh wait there's alone like at a bar oh wait there's other people but they're strangers right other people but they're strangers right other people but they're strangers right they're kind of like out there they're kind of like out there they're kind of like out there keep going yeah don't walk me through keep going yeah don't walk me through keep going yeah don't walk me through all the alarms and then I'll tell you all the alarms and then I'll tell you all the alarms and then I'll tell you the rest there's all kinds of there's a the rest there's all kinds of there's a the rest there's all kinds of there's a alone on a train we're transporting alone on a train we're transporting alone on a train we're transporting stuff stuff stuff and then there's just the lone in a in and then there's just the lone in a in and then there's just the lone in a in an empty home or a hotel room hotel and an empty home or a hotel room hotel and an empty home or a hotel room hotel and it's Sunday night Sunday night and it's Sunday night Sunday night and it's Sunday night Sunday night and you're packing your bag and you got a you're packing your bag and you got a you're packing your bag and you got a flight at six a.m yeah but Roadhouse is flight at six a.m yeah but Roadhouse is flight at six a.m yeah but Roadhouse is on and you're like shit so you go down on and you're like shit so you go down on and you're like shit so you go down to the front desk and go is the bar to the front desk and go is the bar to the front desk and go is the bar still open and they go yeah can I order still open and they go yeah can I order still open and they go yeah can I order something to take to my room sure how something to take to my room sure how something to take to my room sure how about six Heinekens six Heinekens yeah about six Heinekens six Heinekens yeah about six Heinekens six Heinekens yeah my wife wanted one too she's not up my wife wanted one too she's not up my wife wanted one too she's not up there you murdered her and you just say there you murdered her and you just say there you murdered her and you just say to yourself I'm just getting six so that to yourself I'm just getting six so that to yourself I'm just getting six so that if I have four I just know I have two if I have four I just know I have two if I have four I just know I have two extra ones and then you go through six extra ones and then you go through six extra ones and then you go through six and you're like oh man I'm not done yet and you're like oh man I'm not done yet and you're like oh man I'm not done yet dude I've drank in every alone scenario dude I've drank in every alone scenario dude I've drank in every alone scenario you can possibly think of I've drank uh you can possibly think of I've drank uh you can possibly think of I've drank uh I've drank alone in a helicopter with a I've drank alone in a helicopter with a I've drank alone in a helicopter with a dude who didn't know I was drinking uh dude who didn't know I was drinking uh dude who didn't know I was drinking uh he was I was like kind of drinking here

he was I was like kind of drinking here he was I was like kind of drinking here and he's like absolutely not and then I and he's like absolutely not and then I and he's like absolutely not and then I poured it into a flask and opened it and poured it into a flask and opened it and poured it into a flask and opened it and drank it and he's like dude we're in a drank it and he's like dude we're in a drank it and he's like dude we're in a fucking helicopter you don't think I fucking helicopter you don't think I fucking helicopter you don't think I spelled that the best alone drinking you spelled that the best alone drinking you spelled that the best alone drinking you can ever do in my opinion now we're can ever do in my opinion now we're can ever do in my opinion now we're getting into the Weeds on it is alone getting into the Weeds on it is alone getting into the Weeds on it is alone behind someone's back behind someone's back behind someone's back what do you mean like when they don't what do you mean like when they don't what do you mean like when they don't know you're drinking but you're drinking know you're drinking but you're drinking know you're drinking but you're drinking hmm like uh hmm like uh hmm like uh like Christmas shopping uh like Christmas shopping uh like Christmas shopping uh and your wife says all right let's all and your wife says all right let's all and your wife says all right let's all split up and you go cool and it's like split up and you go cool and it's like split up and you go cool and it's like it's like 11 o'clock on a Sunday and it's like 11 o'clock on a Sunday and it's like 11 o'clock on a Sunday and they just opened that bar by the they just opened that bar by the they just opened that bar by the elevator in the Beverly Center and you elevator in the Beverly Center and you elevator in the Beverly Center and you just sneak over and you go hey man just sneak over and you go hey man just sneak over and you go hey man can I get a double Jack on the raw socks can I get a double Jack on the raw socks can I get a double Jack on the raw socks rods like sure and you just have it you rods like sure and you just have it you rods like sure and you just have it you just go let's just and then you're off just go let's just and then you're off just go let's just and then you're off and then you're like yeah yeah and then and then you're like yeah yeah and then and then you're like yeah yeah and then you just little sneak one sneak it and you just little sneak one sneak it and you just little sneak one sneak it and sneak it and then buzz and nobody knows sneak it and then buzz and nobody knows sneak it and then buzz and nobody knows and then your wife's like wait have you and then your wife's like wait have you and then your wife's like wait have you been drinking like been drinking like been drinking like yeah I'm drinking by myself in a fucking yeah I'm drinking by myself in a fucking yeah I'm drinking by myself in a fucking mall yeah on Christmas how sad do you mall yeah on Christmas how sad do you mall yeah on Christmas how sad do you think I am and then you go yeah I am uh think I am and then you go yeah I am uh think I am and then you go yeah I am uh what about mood do you ever drink in a what about mood do you ever drink in a what about mood do you ever drink in a dark place so I broke I I had a chick dark place so I broke I I had a chick dark place so I broke I I had a chick break up or a chick cheat on me break up or a chick cheat on me break up or a chick cheat on me uh when I was when I came back from uh when I was when I came back from uh when I was when I came back from Russia and she's something with my best Russia and she's something with my best Russia and she's something with my best friend friend friend and I didn't know how to deal with the and I didn't know how to deal with the and I didn't know how to deal with the emotions I had and my buddy Mike Osborne emotions I had and my buddy Mike Osborne emotions I had and my buddy Mike Osborne said I can tell you this if you drink said I can tell you this if you drink said I can tell you this if you drink they go away and I went okay they go away and I went okay they go away and I went okay and that was the first and kind of last and that was the first and kind of last and that was the first and kind of last time I ever did that time I ever did that time I ever did that because I did it I've done it I've done because I did it I've done it I've done because I did it I've done it I've done it a couple times but it I try to avoid it a couple times but it I try to avoid it a couple times but it I try to avoid I try to avoid if there's emotion going

I try to avoid if there's emotion going I try to avoid if there's emotion going to alcohol like meaning not when it's to alcohol like meaning not when it's to alcohol like meaning not when it's anxiety but like depression yeah I kind anxiety but like depression yeah I kind anxiety but like depression yeah I kind of sit in the depression because or of sit in the depression because or of sit in the depression because or anxiety I lean towards alcohol like anxiety I lean towards alcohol like anxiety I lean towards alcohol like anxiety like about flying or or anxiety like about flying or or anxiety like about flying or or or just like getting worked up on over or just like getting worked up on over or just like getting worked up on over something something something but with depression I try to avoid but with depression I try to avoid but with depression I try to avoid alcohol and just sit in it alcohol and just sit in it alcohol and just sit in it um because I I because I've gone there um because I I because I've gone there um because I I because I've gone there before but anxiety is up I land I land before but anxiety is up I land I land before but anxiety is up I land I land all the time but depression heartbreak all the time but depression heartbreak all the time but depression heartbreak all that you just sit in the feeling all that you just sit in the feeling all that you just sit in the feeling yeah heartbreak's a weird one for me so yeah heartbreak's a weird one for me so yeah heartbreak's a weird one for me so like the last time I got my heart broken like the last time I got my heart broken like the last time I got my heart broken it Leanne dumped me it Leanne dumped me it Leanne dumped me um we were dating for like four months um we were dating for like four months um we were dating for like four months and she broke up with me and my instinct and she broke up with me and my instinct and she broke up with me and my instinct was to have a drink my friends went to was to have a drink my friends went to was to have a drink my friends went to this uh this uh middle eastern this uh this uh middle eastern this uh this uh middle eastern restaurant and I told him what was going restaurant and I told him what was going restaurant and I told him what was going on in my buddy of course like let's get on in my buddy of course like let's get on in my buddy of course like let's get a cocktail and I was like I don't want a cocktail and I was like I don't want a cocktail and I was like I don't want one I gotta figure this out because I one I gotta figure this out because I one I gotta figure this out because I want this chick and if I start drinking want this chick and if I start drinking want this chick and if I start drinking I'll be like ah fuck it I'll be like ah fuck it I'll be like ah fuck it so I gotta figure it out like I wonder so I gotta figure it out like I wonder so I gotta figure it out like I wonder I'm gonna find out my dad dies one day I'm gonna find out my dad dies one day I'm gonna find out my dad dies one day or my mom but my dad will be the ruffle or my mom but my dad will be the ruffle or my mom but my dad will be the ruffle my mom will be equally as rough my dad my mom will be equally as rough my dad my mom will be equally as rough my dad and I were really close and I were really close and I were really close and I wonder if I thought about this a and I wonder if I thought about this a and I wonder if I thought about this a lot if I'll have a drink lot if I'll have a drink lot if I'll have a drink dealing with that dealing with that dealing with that like I think about that a lot I keep like I think about that a lot I keep like I think about that a lot I keep saying everything I get with my dad is saying everything I get with my dad is saying everything I get with my dad is extra my dad my dad had a 100 blockage extra my dad my dad had a 100 blockage extra my dad my dad had a 100 blockage in his Widowmaker twice and both times in his Widowmaker twice and both times in his Widowmaker twice and both times they saved his life and he got a stint I they saved his life and he got a stint I they saved his life and he got a stint I think 12 or 13 years ago and then he think 12 or 13 years ago and then he think 12 or 13 years ago and then he just got a stint this last year

just got a stint this last year just got a stint this last year but that's why everything I get to do I but that's why everything I get to do I but that's why everything I get to do I feel like is extra and so you know he feel like is extra and so you know he feel like is extra and so you know he was just at the premiere of my movie and was just at the premiere of my movie and was just at the premiere of my movie and he got to see that and he had a very he got to see that and he had a very he got to see that and he had a very emotional response and I got to I got emotional response and I got to I got emotional response and I got to I got that from him and I was like that that's that from him and I was like that that's that from him and I was like that that's a little ice on the cake I did you know a little ice on the cake I did you know a little ice on the cake I did you know the arena in Tampa was the first time he the arena in Tampa was the first time he the arena in Tampa was the first time he ever saw me do stand up that was like a ever saw me do stand up that was like a ever saw me do stand up that was like a little extra so all these things I'm little extra so all these things I'm little extra so all these things I'm getting with them are all extra so I getting with them are all extra so I getting with them are all extra so I have you know at least 74 so have you know at least 74 so have you know at least 74 so yeah that'll be a tough one well at the yeah that'll be a tough one well at the yeah that'll be a tough one well at the premiere here's what proud yeah he came premiere here's what proud yeah he came premiere here's what proud yeah he came out he was sobbing crying and he goes out he was sobbing crying and he goes out he was sobbing crying and he goes I've underestimated you your whole life I've underestimated you your whole life I've underestimated you your whole life and I was like what he was like and he and I was like what he was like and he and I was like what he was like and he just and he was shaking yeah he goes I just and he was shaking yeah he goes I just and he was shaking yeah he goes I just underestimated you I didn't know I just underestimated you I didn't know I just underestimated you I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know you were this didn't know I didn't know you were this didn't know I didn't know you were this I didn't do whatever it was really hard I didn't do whatever it was really hard I didn't do whatever it was really hard to understand him to be honest with you to understand him to be honest with you to understand him to be honest with you I don't know totally what he said he I don't know totally what he said he I don't know totally what he said he might just not like the movie I I think you uh were hearing what you I I think you uh were hearing what you wanted to hear uh would you learn about wanted to hear uh would you learn about wanted to hear uh would you learn about life from your father life from your father life from your father uh it's not gonna make sense uh it's not gonna make sense uh it's not gonna make sense I want to feel like sometimes I'm like a I want to feel like sometimes I'm like a I want to feel like sometimes I'm like a professional fucking wrestler because professional fucking wrestler because professional fucking wrestler because all I care about is you come and see me all I care about is you come and see me all I care about is you come and see me do stand up so whatever I got to do to do stand up so whatever I got to do to do stand up so whatever I got to do to get you there but get you there but get you there but the number one thing my one takeaway the number one thing my one takeaway the number one thing my one takeaway from that man's humility and from that man's humility and from that man's humility and I applied I've applied it in different I applied I've applied it in different I applied I've applied it in different ways throughout my career ways throughout my career ways throughout my career on my 26th birthday he gave me a really on my 26th birthday he gave me a really on my 26th birthday he gave me a really uh aggressive speech uh aggressive speech uh aggressive speech he he he I was hungover and I just thought he was

I was hungover and I just thought he was I was hungover and I just thought he was going to say good happy birthday so I going to say good happy birthday so I going to say good happy birthday so I picked up the phone picked up the phone picked up the phone and I was like Hey and he was like you and I was like Hey and he was like you and I was like Hey and he was like you are a tremendous piece of shit are a tremendous piece of shit are a tremendous piece of shit and he broke me off you have no humility and he broke me off you have no humility and he broke me off you have no humility you have no this you'll never succeed in you have no this you'll never succeed in you have no this you'll never succeed in anything you you're you're lying to anything you you're you're lying to anything you you're you're lying to yourself you're lying to everyone around yourself you're lying to everyone around yourself you're lying to everyone around you you're not doing what you're going you you're not doing what you're going you you're not doing what you're going after your dream I broke you I failed after your dream I broke you I failed after your dream I broke you I failed you as a father this and that I was like you as a father this and that I was like you as a father this and that I was like I thought you're gonna wish me happy I thought you're gonna wish me happy I thought you're gonna wish me happy birthday birthday birthday and so and so and so in that speech he told me if I wanted in that speech he told me if I wanted in that speech he told me if I wanted something I had to go at it and I had to something I had to go at it and I had to something I had to go at it and I had to go after it as as hard as I could go after it as as hard as I could go after it as as hard as I could and I had to do whatever it could I and I had to do whatever it could I and I had to do whatever it could I could do to achieve that in this case it could do to achieve that in this case it could do to achieve that in this case it was working offering to do anything at was working offering to do anything at was working offering to do anything at the comedy club to get on stage the comedy club to get on stage the comedy club to get on stage he told I told him that's not how it he told I told him that's not how it he told I told him that's not how it works and he said no that's that's how works and he said no that's that's how works and he said no that's that's how it works for some poor kid from Harlem it works for some poor kid from Harlem it works for some poor kid from Harlem because that kid needs it he goes you've because that kid needs it he goes you've because that kid needs it he goes you've grown up with privilege your whole life grown up with privilege your whole life grown up with privilege your whole life you don't need it you think you're going you don't need it you think you're going you don't need it you think you're going to be fine to be fine to be fine and so I went and I ended up getting a and so I went and I ended up getting a and so I went and I ended up getting a job at the door but I job at the door but I job at the door but I it was it was it was it's humbling it's it was it was it was it's humbling it's it was it was it was it's humbling it's really like uh it's it makes me feel it really like uh it's it makes me feel it really like uh it's it makes me feel it made me feel uncomfortable made me feel uncomfortable made me feel uncomfortable and so that humility and so that humility and so that humility uh is it's the first time I really uh is it's the first time I really uh is it's the first time I really understood humility and I've applied understood humility and I've applied understood humility and I've applied that in many respects in like in like that in many respects in like in like that in many respects in like in like getting to be a paid regular at The getting to be a paid regular at The getting to be a paid regular at The Comedy Store that happened late in life Comedy Store that happened late in life Comedy Store that happened late in life for me and which I think most people for me and which I think most people for me and which I think most people would give up and be like ah fuck that would give up and be like ah fuck that would give up and be like ah fuck that I'm already a touring comic I'm on TV I I'm already a touring comic I'm on TV I I'm already a touring comic I'm on TV I don't need that but it's something I don't need that but it's something I don't need that but it's something I wanted and I knew I wanted so I I just wanted and I knew I wanted so I I just wanted and I knew I wanted so I I just humbly went after it humbly went after it humbly went after it and then I think I I still apply it when and then I think I I still apply it when and then I think I I still apply it when it comes to

it comes to it comes to selling tickets or or selling a project selling tickets or or selling a project selling tickets or or selling a project to the fans to the fans to the fans or even doing podcasts I try to be as or even doing podcasts I try to be as or even doing podcasts I try to be as honest as I can about whatever I'm going honest as I can about whatever I'm going honest as I can about whatever I'm going through or whatever I'm dealing with but through or whatever I'm dealing with but through or whatever I'm dealing with but when it comes to like selling things I when it comes to like selling things I when it comes to like selling things I don't I don't have a problem don't I don't have a problem don't I don't have a problem trying to make fun of myself or or trying to make fun of myself or or trying to make fun of myself or or get in front of people so that they know get in front of people so that they know get in front of people so that they know that that I have a show because like the that that I have a show because like the that that I have a show because like the thing I'm good at though thing I'm good at though thing I'm good at though the one thing I know I'm good at stand the one thing I know I'm good at stand the one thing I know I'm good at stand up up up and and I I say that humbly but like I and and I I say that humbly but like I and and I I say that humbly but like I want them to come there so like I've want them to come there so like I've want them to come there so like I've heard people make fun of me like before heard people make fun of me like before heard people make fun of me like before they're like yeah I'm not some I'm not they're like yeah I'm not some I'm not they're like yeah I'm not some I'm not some clown in a speedo who's one is some clown in a speedo who's one is some clown in a speedo who's one is gonna I'm a real comic and I go okay but gonna I'm a real comic and I go okay but gonna I'm a real comic and I go okay but I wanna I want them that my shows and I wanna I want them that my shows and I wanna I want them that my shows and you can be that guy and I'll be this guy you can be that guy and I'll be this guy you can be that guy and I'll be this guy yeah the clown the speedo yeah it's like yeah the clown the speedo yeah it's like yeah the clown the speedo yeah it's like what are you gonna do what are you gonna do what are you gonna do funny people make fun of me for taking funny people make fun of me for taking funny people make fun of me for taking my shirt off like I guess behind my back my shirt off like I guess behind my back my shirt off like I guess behind my back no one ever does it to me like no one no one ever does it to me like no one no one ever does it to me like no one would ever would ever would ever Comics aren't Comics aren't Comics Comics aren't Comics aren't Comics Comics aren't Comics aren't Comics aren't that manly aren't that manly aren't that manly [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah yeah but I always go like I always yeah yeah but I always go like I always yeah yeah but I always go like I always go like who what do you care what am I go like who what do you care what am I go like who what do you care what am I what do you care and you love taking what do you care and you love taking what do you care and you love taking shirt off more than anything shirt off more than anything shirt off more than anything you know when something becomes meme it you know when something becomes meme it you know when something becomes meme it becomes super popular it uh becomes super popular it uh becomes super popular it uh it becomes easy to not love the thing it becomes easy to not love the thing it becomes easy to not love the thing anymore to get tired of it you still anymore to get tired of it you still anymore to get tired of it you still love it well more than anything love it well more than anything love it well more than anything I like being shirtless I like being shirtless I like being shirtless more than having a shirt I'm very more than having a shirt I'm very more than having a shirt I'm very uncomfortable in a shirt yeah like right

uncomfortable in a shirt yeah like right uncomfortable in a shirt yeah like right now and I've tactile issues like I have now and I've tactile issues like I have now and I've tactile issues like I have legit tacked all issues legit tacked all issues legit tacked all issues I'm most comfortable in stretchy jeans I'm most comfortable in stretchy jeans I'm most comfortable in stretchy jeans with a loose fitting belt and then these with a loose fitting belt and then these with a loose fitting belt and then these shirts exactly but I don't I like more shirts exactly but I don't I like more shirts exactly but I don't I like more like a v-neck I feel I can feel this on like a v-neck I feel I can feel this on like a v-neck I feel I can feel this on my neck right now and I can feel it on my neck right now and I can feel it on my neck right now and I can feel it on my arms and so I'm I'll sit a certain my arms and so I'm I'll sit a certain my arms and so I'm I'll sit a certain way because it like it just rubs me way because it like it just rubs me way because it like it just rubs me wrong wrong wrong be a more comfortable shirtless I can be a more comfortable shirtless I can be a more comfortable shirtless I can never wear what you're wearing never wear what you're wearing never wear what you're wearing uh yeah well this is my shirtless each uh yeah well this is my shirtless each uh yeah well this is my shirtless each of us have to find our place in this of us have to find our place in this of us have to find our place in this world in terms of fashion I would love world in terms of fashion I would love world in terms of fashion I would love to be able to wear what you wear yeah to be able to wear what you wear yeah to be able to wear what you wear yeah because it looks good it feels like an because it looks good it feels like an because it looks good it feels like an escape from convention escape from convention escape from convention because you or me both of us yeah because you or me both of us yeah because you or me both of us yeah because this nobody wears this because this nobody wears this because this nobody wears this unless you work security for somebody unless you work security for somebody unless you work security for somebody yeah but it looks good on you does it I yeah but it looks good on you does it I yeah but it looks good on you does it I don't know you know I think people think don't know you know I think people think don't know you know I think people think I don't like they would say like what I don't like they would say like what I don't like they would say like what what if you lose weight you can't take what if you lose weight you can't take what if you lose weight you can't take your shirt off anymore go no I can your shirt off anymore go no I can your shirt off anymore go no I can fucking take my shirt off yeah you fucking take my shirt off yeah you fucking take my shirt off yeah you fucking out of your mind I'm gonna take fucking out of your mind I'm gonna take fucking out of your mind I'm gonna take my shirt off all the time my shirt off all the time my shirt off all the time uh you mentioned uh early on heartbreak uh you mentioned uh early on heartbreak uh you mentioned uh early on heartbreak after the Russia trip with a girl who after the Russia trip with a girl who after the Russia trip with a girl who slept with your friend slept with your friend slept with your friend uh let's go back to Hemingway quotes uh let's go back to Hemingway quotes uh let's go back to Hemingway quotes the best way to find out if you can the best way to find out if you can the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them trust somebody is to trust them trust somebody is to trust them so to go all in with the trust so to go all in with the trust so to go all in with the trust I love Hemingway so much I love Hemingway so much I love Hemingway so much um have you been betrayed in your life um have you been betrayed in your life um have you been betrayed in your life yeah

yeah yeah what do you think about trust it's an interesting question it's an interesting question um um um I've been betrayed in my professional I've been betrayed in my professional I've been betrayed in my professional life a couple times by really close life a couple times by really close life a couple times by really close friends friends friends and uh I'm not someone who can't like I have a I'm not someone who can't like I have a mantra that I mean I'm mantra that I mean I'm mantra that I mean I'm I don't know if people have heard it or I don't know if people have heard it or I don't know if people have heard it or not and I'm I hate I hate sharing it but not and I'm I hate I hate sharing it but not and I'm I hate I hate sharing it but it's but it's true the Mantra is so you it's but it's true the Mantra is so you it's but it's true the Mantra is so you think I'm weak think I'm weak think I'm weak like do you think it's like that's my like do you think it's like that's my like do you think it's like that's my thing because I I feel like people take thing because I I feel like people take thing because I I feel like people take advantage of me and I go so you think advantage of me and I go so you think advantage of me and I go so you think I'm weak I'm weak I'm weak you forget everyone that like that and you forget everyone that like that and you forget everyone that like that and I'm named the people that have betrayed I'm named the people that have betrayed I'm named the people that have betrayed me I'm a larger man than all of them and me I'm a larger man than all of them and me I'm a larger man than all of them and and but I and so that's what really and but I and so that's what really and but I and so that's what really fucks with me is I go so you think I'm fucks with me is I go so you think I'm fucks with me is I go so you think I'm weak like where I grew up when you do weak like where I grew up when you do weak like where I grew up when you do stuff there was physical consequences I stuff there was physical consequences I stuff there was physical consequences I grew up in Florida like I've been beaten grew up in Florida like I've been beaten grew up in Florida like I've been beaten up a bunch I'm not saying I can fight up a bunch I'm not saying I can fight up a bunch I'm not saying I can fight but like I'm not scared of getting but like I'm not scared of getting but like I'm not scared of getting beaten up beaten up beaten up and the the times that I've been and the the times that I've been and the the times that I've been betrayed and and betrayed and and betrayed and and even I know even like by Ari whichever even I know even like by Ari whichever even I know even like by Ari whichever people see that drugging as a betrayal people see that drugging as a betrayal people see that drugging as a betrayal and I did for a period but it was it was and I did for a period but it was it was and I did for a period but it was it was only because it was Ari and he was my only because it was Ari and he was my only because it was Ari and he was my one of my best friends and me and him one of my best friends and me and him one of my best friends and me and him had to work through that because I I had to work through that because I I had to work through that because I I couldn't not love him like I couldn't couldn't not love him like I couldn't couldn't not love him like I couldn't not have him in my life he means a lot not have him in my life he means a lot not have him in my life he means a lot to me he really does he's a great friend to me he really does he's a great friend to me he really does he's a great friend to have to have to have but he's also I don't know what's going but he's also I don't know what's going but he's also I don't know what's going on with him at that time but he made a on with him at that time but he made a on with him at that time but he made a bad decision and I had to forgive him bad decision and I had to forgive him bad decision and I had to forgive him for that because I knew he he knew my for that because I knew he he knew my for that because I knew he he knew my mantra

mantra mantra I think I'm harder to trust people now I think I'm harder to trust people now I think I'm harder to trust people now I'm I'm not as apt to trust people at I'm I'm not as apt to trust people at I'm I'm not as apt to trust people at all all all but there was a moment I don't know if but there was a moment I don't know if but there was a moment I don't know if I've ever shared this and I don't know I've ever shared this and I don't know I've ever shared this and I don't know how this will sound but there was a how this will sound but there was a how this will sound but there was a moment that information got leaked about moment that information got leaked about moment that information got leaked about a thing and all my managers and agents a thing and all my managers and agents a thing and all my managers and agents both both both both both both Tom and my Tom and our managers and Tom and my Tom and our managers and Tom and my Tom and our managers and agents would like to uh separate either agents would like to uh separate either agents would like to uh separate either separate us separate us separate us or one of us one of them get both of us or one of us one of them get both of us or one of us one of them get both of us it's just more lucrative for them sure it's just more lucrative for them sure it's just more lucrative for them sure so they have always kind of pitted us so they have always kind of pitted us so they have always kind of pitted us against each other a little bit and they against each other a little bit and they against each other a little bit and they do it subtly do it subtly do it subtly um they'll do it to me and my team and um they'll do it to me and my team and um they'll do it to me and my team and then his team will do it to me and then then his team will do it to me and then then his team will do it to me and then my team will do it to him and his team my team will do it to him and his team my team will do it to him and his team will do it to him will do it to him will do it to him and there was a moment where information and there was a moment where information and there was a moment where information got leaked about this thing I was doing got leaked about this thing I was doing got leaked about this thing I was doing and my team was like just so you know and my team was like just so you know and my team was like just so you know you're your boy Tommy is is the rat and you're your boy Tommy is is the rat and you're your boy Tommy is is the rat and I had to I had to I had to it was the one time and Leanne said do it was the one time and Leanne said do it was the one time and Leanne said do you think Tom would do that you think Tom would do that you think Tom would do that I said uh I don't know how Faith Works I said uh I don't know how Faith Works I said uh I don't know how Faith Works like I'm not a super religious person like I'm not a super religious person like I'm not a super religious person but I will tell you that I believe in but I will tell you that I believe in but I will tell you that I believe in Tom and I don't think he did it and I Tom and I don't think he did it and I Tom and I don't think he did it and I will stand by that ignorantly will stand by that ignorantly will stand by that ignorantly and and I will and I will ride or die and and I will and I will ride or die and and I will and I will ride or die with him because I cannot live in a with him because I cannot live in a with him because I cannot live in a world where I don't trust him yeah if I world where I don't trust him yeah if I world where I don't trust him yeah if I don't trust him then I am so fucked don't trust him then I am so fucked don't trust him then I am so fucked and uh and it wasn't him it wasn't him and uh and it wasn't him it wasn't him and uh and it wasn't him it wasn't him and it was it's a cool feeling to know and it was it's a cool feeling to know and it was it's a cool feeling to know that you could like that you could like that you could like that you could blindly trust someone

that you could blindly trust someone that you could blindly trust someone blindly have faith in someone know that blindly have faith in someone know that blindly have faith in someone know that they're they have your best interest at they're they have your best interest at they're they have your best interest at heart heart heart but yeah it took me a while to get there but yeah it took me a while to get there but yeah it took me a while to get there Rogan helped me get there because I Rogan helped me get there because I Rogan helped me get there because I wasn't trusting him or Joey or Tommy or wasn't trusting him or Joey or Tommy or wasn't trusting him or Joey or Tommy or anyone I wasn't trusting anyone I'd anyone I wasn't trusting anyone I'd anyone I wasn't trusting anyone I'd gotten in a bad thing and I just wasn't gotten in a bad thing and I just wasn't gotten in a bad thing and I just wasn't trusting anybody trusting anybody trusting anybody Rogan was like yeah man we're trying to Rogan was like yeah man we're trying to Rogan was like yeah man we're trying to be your fucking friend and I was like be your fucking friend and I was like be your fucking friend and I was like yeah I don't I don't need friends yeah I don't I don't need friends yeah I don't I don't need friends I couldn't understand what why Rogan was I couldn't understand what why Rogan was I couldn't understand what why Rogan was interested in me and I was I said to interested in me and I was I said to interested in me and I was I said to like someone I was like is he gay like like someone I was like is he gay like like someone I was like is he gay like what the fuck yeah and then he was just what the fuck yeah and then he was just what the fuck yeah and then he was just a nice guy he was just a nice guy a nice guy he was just a nice guy a nice guy he was just a nice guy that'd be hilarious if Joe was sexually that'd be hilarious if Joe was sexually that'd be hilarious if Joe was sexually attracted to you this whole time this attracted to you this whole time this attracted to you this whole time this whole time is the reason he keeps whole time is the reason he keeps whole time is the reason he keeps inviting it back I would be more excited inviting it back I would be more excited inviting it back I would be more excited I would be more excited if just if he I would be more excited if just if he I would be more excited if just if he tried to kiss me on the lips once just tried to kiss me on the lips once just tried to kiss me on the lips once just and just and then like in a Scotty and just and then like in a Scotty and just and then like in a Scotty Scotty J way from Boogie Nights where Scotty J way from Boogie Nights where Scotty J way from Boogie Nights where he's like what do you like my car yeah he's like what do you like my car yeah he's like what do you like my car yeah you know nobody would believe that story you know nobody would believe that story you know nobody would believe that story no one yeah if I was Joe I would kiss no one yeah if I was Joe I would kiss no one yeah if I was Joe I would kiss dudes all the time and then be like and dudes all the time and then be like and dudes all the time and then be like and then and then when they didn't kiss back then and then when they didn't kiss back then and then when they didn't kiss back oh you know no one ever believe you yeah oh you know no one ever believe you yeah oh you know no one ever believe you yeah well when you trust people like that and well when you trust people like that and well when you trust people like that and they fuck you over that can really they fuck you over that can really they fuck you over that can really really really hurt really really hurt really really hurt you end up on a treadmill you end up on a treadmill you end up on a treadmill in a hotel room in a hotel room in a hotel room fighting with them you fight with them fighting with them you fight with them fighting with them you fight with them all the time you fight with them all the all the time you fight with them all the all the time you fight with them all the time time time you fight with them constantly you fight with them constantly you fight with them constantly and it's and I and I I have this uh and it's and I and I I have this uh and it's and I and I I have this uh thing like where I ruminate on an idea thing like where I ruminate on an idea thing like where I ruminate on an idea and I can't get it out of my head and I and I can't get it out of my head and I and I can't get it out of my head and I hear the words they say and then I and hear the words they say and then I and hear the words they say and then I and so all in your head on a treadmill in

so all in your head on a treadmill in so all in your head on a treadmill in your head just fighting just fucking your head just fighting just fucking your head just fighting just fucking fighting and then yeah fighting and then yeah fighting and then yeah and then one day you get past it like and then one day you get past it like and then one day you get past it like one day you just go huh fuck them I'm one day you just go huh fuck them I'm one day you just go huh fuck them I'm not gonna let you give them real estate not gonna let you give them real estate not gonna let you give them real estate and then you just forget about them and and then you just forget about them and and then you just forget about them and then they reach out and they'll try to then they reach out and they'll try to then they reach out and they'll try to be a dick or a bully because they're be a dick or a bully because they're be a dick or a bully because they're bullies they're bullies is what they are bullies they're bullies is what they are bullies they're bullies is what they are don't ever forget it they're fucking don't ever forget it they're fucking don't ever forget it they're fucking bullies and they got bullied it's not bullies and they got bullied it's not bullies and they got bullied it's not their fault they got bullied their fault they got bullied their fault they got bullied and then they try to Bull you and you and then they try to Bull you and you and then they try to Bull you and you don't have any connection anymore and don't have any connection anymore and don't have any connection anymore and you're like oh you can go fuck yourself you're like oh you can go fuck yourself you're like oh you can go fuck yourself you can actually go fuck yourself you're you can actually go fuck yourself you're you can actually go fuck yourself you're not my boss you're not my wife you don't not my boss you're not my wife you don't not my boss you're not my wife you don't fuck me don't pay me get the fuck out of fuck me don't pay me get the fuck out of fuck me don't pay me get the fuck out of my life my life my life but this kind of Mantra that you're not but this kind of Mantra that you're not but this kind of Mantra that you're not weak you still want to be able to be weak you still want to be able to be weak you still want to be able to be fragile to the world and appear weak fragile to the world and appear weak fragile to the world and appear weak almost well I am I am I mean that's the almost well I am I am I mean that's the almost well I am I am I mean that's the problem is I think I am pretty fucking problem is I think I am pretty fucking problem is I think I am pretty fucking weak like I think I'm not the strongest weak like I think I'm not the strongest weak like I think I'm not the strongest dude out there I have really thin skin dude out there I have really thin skin dude out there I have really thin skin am I get my feelings hurt all the time am I get my feelings hurt all the time am I get my feelings hurt all the time yeah and so but like but it sucks when yeah and so but like but it sucks when yeah and so but like but it sucks when you watch like your friend you watch like your friend you watch like your friend see something in you that you go see something in you that you go see something in you that you go or they go fuck him he's not paying or they go fuck him he's not paying or they go fuck him he's not paying attention attention attention fuck him let's just fuck him let's take fuck him let's just fuck him let's take fuck him let's just fuck him let's take his money you know what fuck him he his money you know what fuck him he his money you know what fuck him he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing doesn't know what the fuck he's doing doesn't know what the fuck he's doing look at me he's a drunk alcoholic and look at me he's a drunk alcoholic and look at me he's a drunk alcoholic and you go oh no bitch I pay attention like you go oh no bitch I pay attention like you go oh no bitch I pay attention like I'm I'm wide awake I'm here I'm working I'm I'm wide awake I'm here I'm working I'm I'm wide awake I'm here I'm working my ass off you're not gonna fucking my ass off you're not gonna fucking my ass off you're not gonna fucking well that's the tough thing about like well that's the tough thing about like well that's the tough thing about like you and Tom Segura you're at the top of you and Tom Segura you're at the top of you and Tom Segura you're at the top of your game on top of the world some of your game on top of the world some of your game on top of the world some of the most famous comics in the world and the most famous comics in the world and the most famous comics in the world and you could see money start to creep in

you could see money start to creep in you could see money start to creep in like uh business decisions yeah like uh business decisions yeah like uh business decisions yeah I don't know it's a tough it's a tough I don't know it's a tough it's a tough I don't know it's a tough it's a tough place it's really tough it's really place it's really tough it's really place it's really tough it's really tough work you know especially as we're tough work you know especially as we're tough work you know especially as we're growing growing growing and and uh I'll tell you what it I'll tell you what it I don't know how much I'm allowed to say I don't know how much I'm allowed to say I don't know how much I'm allowed to say but I can tell you this but I can tell you this but I can tell you this with a business deal with a business deal with a business deal where feelings were getting involved where feelings were getting involved where feelings were getting involved and money was involved in that and the and money was involved in that and the and money was involved in that and the money was causing the feelings money was causing the feelings money was causing the feelings and one of us said and one of us said and one of us said to the other person our feelings are to the other person our feelings are to the other person our feelings are more important than the money so let's more important than the money so let's more important than the money so let's just split the money and it was and it just split the money and it was and it just split the money and it was and it was and it was and was and it was and was and it was and and it was it was really like a solid and it was it was really like a solid and it was it was really like a solid moment where I where both of us were moment where I where both of us were moment where I where both of us were like that is how we should run this yeah like that is how we should run this yeah like that is how we should run this yeah that's the interesting things like with that's the interesting things like with that's the interesting things like with bands you have like bands you have like bands you have like popular bands that split and even yeah popular bands that split and even yeah popular bands that split and even yeah even though it's clear that the even though it's clear that the even though it's clear that the contribution is not even it's like uh contribution is not even it's like uh contribution is not even it's like uh there's a front man and all that kind of there's a front man and all that kind of there's a front man and all that kind of stuff but it's ultimately the right stuff but it's ultimately the right stuff but it's ultimately the right thing to do to say fuck you to the money thing to do to say fuck you to the money thing to do to say fuck you to the money for the most part and prioritize the for the most part and prioritize the for the most part and prioritize the feelings yeah especially because like feelings yeah especially because like feelings yeah especially because like I couldn't do it without him he couldn't I couldn't do it without him he couldn't I couldn't do it without him he couldn't do it without me we do it separately do it without me we do it separately do it without me we do it separately we'll have guest Bears on some will blow we'll have guest Bears on some will blow we'll have guest Bears on some will blow up some won't you can never figure it up some won't you can never figure it up some won't you can never figure it out but when we're together it does well out but when we're together it does well out but when we're together it does well and so we need each other for it to work and so we need each other for it to work and so we need each other for it to work and we've you know and we've you know and we've you know like I said we're on a handshake deal like I said we're on a handshake deal like I said we're on a handshake deal with two bears and no one likes that

with two bears and no one likes that with two bears and no one likes that but we're like hey but we're like hey but we're like hey I mean we I don't like to the point I mean we I don't like to the point I mean we I don't like to the point where like he'll call me and go yo we where like he'll call me and go yo we where like he'll call me and go yo we have a deal to do this for x amount are have a deal to do this for x amount are have a deal to do this for x amount are you in and I go yeah you in and I go yeah you in and I go yeah I'll go check the books I don't need to I'll go check the books I don't need to I'll go check the books I don't need to I don't I don't I know him I just know I don't I don't I know him I just know I don't I don't I know him I just know him yeah what do you love most about him yeah what do you love most about him yeah what do you love most about Thompson the we saw a gay couple one time this is the we saw a gay couple one time this is a good start and there was one guy was a good start and there was one guy was a good start and there was one guy was in khakis and one guy was in jean shorts in khakis and one guy was in jean shorts in khakis and one guy was in jean shorts with a python around his neck yeah and with a python around his neck yeah and with a python around his neck yeah and Tom goes if we were gay which one would Tom goes if we were gay which one would Tom goes if we were gay which one would you be I said I'm fucking python yeah you be I said I'm fucking python yeah you be I said I'm fucking python yeah and he was like yeah I'm khaki and I go and he was like yeah I'm khaki and I go and he was like yeah I'm khaki and I go really and he goes yeah that's why we really and he goes yeah that's why we really and he goes yeah that's why we work and he goes all relationship for work and he goes all relationship for work and he goes all relationship for pythons and khakis and I went really and pythons and khakis and I went really and pythons and khakis and I went really and he goes look at you and Leanne who do he goes look at you and Leanne who do he goes look at you and Leanne who do you think you are going I'm Python and you think you are going I'm Python and you think you are going I'm Python and he goes she's khaki and he goes me and he goes she's khaki and he goes me and he goes she's khaki and he goes me and push I go oh she's python he goes and push I go oh she's python he goes and push I go oh she's python he goes and I'm khaki it'll always be khaki and I'm khaki it'll always be khaki and I'm khaki it'll always be khaki and sometimes I'll have a relationship sometimes I'll have a relationship sometimes I'll have a relationship around the python but it's I'm usually a around the python but it's I'm usually a around the python but it's I'm usually a khaki yeah and I was like yeah I am a khaki yeah and I was like yeah I am a khaki yeah and I was like yeah I am a little bit of a lunatic I'll tell you little bit of a lunatic I'll tell you little bit of a lunatic I'll tell you the one of the a moment the one of the a moment the one of the a moment that explains that explains that explains me and him the world will never see it me and him the world will never see it me and him the world will never see it was just a great moment we got stem was just a great moment we got stem was just a great moment we got stem cells with Rogan one weekend yep and one cells with Rogan one weekend yep and one cells with Rogan one weekend yep and one day day day and I'd had surgery in my arm and Ty and I'd had surgery in my arm and Ty and I'd had surgery in my arm and Ty didn't want to do it I was terrified and didn't want to do it I was terrified and didn't want to do it I was terrified and Tom just said just come out and meet up Tom just said just come out and meet up Tom just said just come out and meet up with us Tom knew he was going to make me with us Tom knew he was going to make me with us Tom knew he was going to make me get them and so get them and so get them and so I got them and he I got them and he I got them and he you know Joe's there and so we're just you know Joe's there and so we're just you know Joe's there and so we're just all talking yeah yeah yeah yeah and Tom all talking yeah yeah yeah yeah and Tom all talking yeah yeah yeah yeah and Tom can see that I'm spinning out a little can see that I'm spinning out a little can see that I'm spinning out a little bit bit bit and I get in the car and you know Tom's

and I get in the car and you know Tom's and I get in the car and you know Tom's got a Porsche so we're like right next got a Porsche so we're like right next got a Porsche so we're like right next to each other to each other to each other and I just want to feel if it's swollen and I just want to feel if it's swollen and I just want to feel if it's swollen and it is a little swollen because I and it is a little swollen because I and it is a little swollen because I just got an injection and then and Tom's just got an injection and then and Tom's just got an injection and then and Tom's driving and he's got his hand on the driving and he's got his hand on the driving and he's got his hand on the thing he just puts his hand on my arm thing he just puts his hand on my arm thing he just puts his hand on my arm and he goes you're okay he's just he's and he goes you're okay he's just he's and he goes you're okay he's just he's watching he knows me so well that he watching he knows me so well that he watching he knows me so well that he knows that I'm spinning out of control knows that I'm spinning out of control knows that I'm spinning out of control he's like you're okay he's like you're okay he's like you're okay and then I was like and I felt okay I and then I was like and I felt okay I and then I was like and I felt okay I was like you're right I'm okay what the was like you're right I'm okay what the was like you're right I'm okay what the fuck am I doing my brain's that brain fuck am I doing my brain's that brain fuck am I doing my brain's that brain man that guy got so much love in him man that guy got so much love in him man that guy got so much love in him dude he does he has uh dude he does he has uh dude he does he has uh you know you know you know he had a fantastic relationship with his he had a fantastic relationship with his he had a fantastic relationship with his dad dad dad and and and I think whatever that did and and and I think whatever that did and and and I think whatever that did that dude did to create that dude he hit that dude did to create that dude he hit that dude did to create that dude he hit it out of the fucking park because he it out of the fucking park because he it out of the fucking park because he has has has so much uh love that he doesn't need uh love that he doesn't need reciprocated like at all like he can reciprocated like at all like he can reciprocated like at all like he can just love and then he feels good for him just love and then he feels good for him just love and then he feels good for him to give and to like take care of someone to give and to like take care of someone to give and to like take care of someone and like you know he started the whole and like you know he started the whole and like you know he started the whole birthday gift thing because and he birthday gift thing because and he birthday gift thing because and he didn't need to he just was like hey man didn't need to he just was like hey man didn't need to he just was like hey man I had this bike I thought you'd like it I had this bike I thought you'd like it I had this bike I thought you'd like it and then of course I've turned it into a and then of course I've turned it into a and then of course I've turned it into a fucking bit fucking bit fucking bit and now we're upside down I'm 120 upside and now we're upside down I'm 120 upside and now we're upside down I'm 120 upside down on a fucking race car that we can't down on a fucking race car that we can't down on a fucking race car that we can't make our money back on I love it uh what make our money back on I love it uh what make our money back on I love it uh what do you love most about Joe Rogan oh that do you love most about Joe Rogan oh that do you love most about Joe Rogan oh that dude dude dude I could go on and on about Joe Rogan Joe I could go on and on about Joe Rogan Joe I could go on and on about Joe Rogan Joe Rogan is the most selfless individual Rogan is the most selfless individual Rogan is the most selfless individual I've ever met he doesn't care if he has

I've ever met he doesn't care if he has I've ever met he doesn't care if he has you on the podcast he wants you to be you on the podcast he wants you to be you on the podcast he wants you to be the funniest person in the room he wants the funniest person in the room he wants the funniest person in the room he wants you to be the smartest person in the you to be the smartest person in the you to be the smartest person in the room let me tell you something Joe Rogan room let me tell you something Joe Rogan room let me tell you something Joe Rogan is 10 times smarter and funnier than me is 10 times smarter and funnier than me is 10 times smarter and funnier than me he wants you to shine he wants you he he wants you to shine he wants you he he wants you to shine he wants you he wants to put you over to his fans he wants to put you over to his fans he wants to put you over to his fans he that shit did not exist before he that shit did not exist before he that shit did not exist before he started doing his podcast people didn't started doing his podcast people didn't started doing his podcast people didn't share you with their fans no one was share you with their fans no one was share you with their fans no one was like Hey man come on on the road with me like Hey man come on on the road with me like Hey man come on on the road with me they brought me on the road because they they brought me on the road because they they brought me on the road because they wanted you to suck and they put you in wanted you to suck and they put you in wanted you to suck and they put you in bad scenarios Joe Rogan wanted you to bad scenarios Joe Rogan wanted you to bad scenarios Joe Rogan wanted you to shine he gave he gave so many people shine he gave he gave so many people shine he gave he gave so many people beautiful gave them careers gave them beautiful gave them careers gave them beautiful gave them careers gave them Joe could have looked at his podcast as Joe could have looked at his podcast as Joe could have looked at his podcast as his thing this is my thing I bring on his thing this is my thing I bring on his thing this is my thing I bring on these guys I'm gonna be the funniest guy these guys I'm gonna be the funniest guy these guys I'm gonna be the funniest guy in the fucking room I know some guys in the fucking room I know some guys in the fucking room I know some guys that have done that that have done that that have done that might be me might be I might talk over might be me might be I might talk over might be me might be I might talk over people and not listen really well Joe people and not listen really well Joe people and not listen really well Joe had did the opposite now look I've tried had did the opposite now look I've tried had did the opposite now look I've tried to learn from Joe on my podcast and do to learn from Joe on my podcast and do to learn from Joe on my podcast and do the same that guy when you think about the same that guy when you think about the same that guy when you think about it you name 10 of his friends I bet it you name 10 of his friends I bet it you name 10 of his friends I bet eight of them are doing Arenas right now eight of them are doing Arenas right now eight of them are doing Arenas right now they're all doing theaters all his they're all doing theaters all his they're all doing theaters all his friends do theaters all his friends do friends do theaters all his friends do friends do theaters all his friends do theaters he is he is just theaters he is he is just theaters he is he is just you know I I he and he won't accept this you know I I he and he won't accept this you know I I he and he won't accept this compliment I tried paying it to him uh compliment I tried paying it to him uh compliment I tried paying it to him uh in in in in Austin when I was in Austin last well in Austin when I was in Austin last well in Austin when I was in Austin last well he's not good at accepting compliments I he's not good at accepting compliments I he's not good at accepting compliments I gave him a gift too and I say hey I need gave him a gift too and I say hey I need gave him a gift too and I say hey I need I need to show you I can't just tell you I need to show you I can't just tell you I need to show you I can't just tell you this because it's going to fall in deaf this because it's going to fall in deaf this because it's going to fall in deaf ears I need to give you a minute so you ears I need to give you a minute so you ears I need to give you a minute so you have something so you know that I think have something so you know that I think have something so you know that I think about you and I'm grateful for having

about you and I'm grateful for having about you and I'm grateful for having you in my life a lot for many reasons I you in my life a lot for many reasons I you in my life a lot for many reasons I have more friends in my life because of have more friends in my life because of have more friends in my life because of you he taught me how to trust people you he taught me how to trust people you he taught me how to trust people again I have a career because if you again I have a career because if you again I have a career because if you have a major motion picture because of have a major motion picture because of have a major motion picture because of you I do Arenas because of you without you I do Arenas because of you without you I do Arenas because of you without you in my life a lot of these these you in my life a lot of these these you in my life a lot of these these things maybe never would have happened I things maybe never would have happened I things maybe never would have happened I never would have told the machine on never would have told the machine on never would have told the machine on stage I wouldn't have gotten I would stage I wouldn't have gotten I would stage I wouldn't have gotten I would have never started a podcast I wouldn't have never started a podcast I wouldn't have never started a podcast I wouldn't have three podcasts like I mean all have three podcasts like I mean all have three podcasts like I mean all these things are are things he not just these things are are things he not just these things are are things he not just he didn't just take me to the water one he didn't just take me to the water one he didn't just take me to the water one time and give me a drink he he gave me a time and give me a drink he he gave me a time and give me a drink he he gave me a machete and he said this is how I get to machete and he said this is how I get to machete and he said this is how I get to the water you gotta put your own path the water you gotta put your own path the water you gotta put your own path but just give me a heads up you can also but just give me a heads up you can also but just give me a heads up you can also use my path whenever you want I mean he use my path whenever you want I mean he use my path whenever you want I mean he he is the most selfless individual he he is the most selfless individual he he is the most selfless individual he will go down in history as one of the 10 will go down in history as one of the 10 will go down in history as one of the 10 most important people in stand-up comedy most important people in stand-up comedy most important people in stand-up comedy without a doubt he changed the game it without a doubt he changed the game it without a doubt he changed the game it didn't exist like this before him and uh didn't exist like this before him and uh didn't exist like this before him and uh and he won't accept that compliment well and he won't accept that compliment well and he won't accept that compliment well it's a gift you give him I can't tell it's a gift you give him I can't tell it's a gift you give him I can't tell you is it a dildo he was a dildo you is it a dildo he was a dildo you is it a dildo he was a dildo double-sided dildo I go hey when you get double-sided dildo I go hey when you get double-sided dildo I go hey when you get free time can we scissor fuck each other free time can we scissor fuck each other free time can we scissor fuck each other uh you're happily married uh for 19 uh you're happily married uh for 19 uh you're happily married uh for 19 years years years so I think you're a good man to ask how so I think you're a good man to ask how so I think you're a good man to ask how do you find love how do you find how do do you find love how do you find how do do you find love how do you find how do you date in order to find a love of your you date in order to find a love of your you date in order to find a love of your life of a lifetime this is gonna sound life of a lifetime this is gonna sound life of a lifetime this is gonna sound off but don't but don't don't tie yourself down meaning like don't tie yourself down meaning like don't tie yourself down meaning like don't spend time don't spend time don't spend time fucking with those little mini shrimp

fucking with those little mini shrimp fucking with those little mini shrimp and peeling them every night when you and peeling them every night when you and peeling them every night when you know you're looking for a lobster yeah know you're looking for a lobster yeah know you're looking for a lobster yeah like and so I think what happens a lot like and so I think what happens a lot like and so I think what happens a lot of guys they just they're so busy and of guys they just they're so busy and of guys they just they're so busy and like just getting pussy and going from like just getting pussy and going from like just getting pussy and going from here to here to here I was never that here to here to here I was never that here to here to here I was never that guy I always wanted I always wanted to guy I always wanted I always wanted to guy I always wanted I always wanted to find someone who understood me I always find someone who understood me I always find someone who understood me I always wanted that and so you know granted I wanted that and so you know granted I wanted that and so you know granted I haven't had sex with a lot of chicks but haven't had sex with a lot of chicks but haven't had sex with a lot of chicks but that's and it's and it's not by choice that's and it's and it's not by choice that's and it's and it's not by choice I'm saying like maybe there was times I I'm saying like maybe there was times I I'm saying like maybe there was times I would have done it but I but I know that would have done it but I but I know that would have done it but I but I know that I was always looking for someone to I was always looking for someone to I was always looking for someone to figure out to get me and then and then I figure out to get me and then and then I figure out to get me and then and then I will say this when you know you know will say this when you know you know will say this when you know you know when you know you know when you think when you know you know when you think when you know you know when you think there's I can't imagine a life without there's I can't imagine a life without there's I can't imagine a life without this person this person this person that that happened to me and I can only that that happened to me and I can only that that happened to me and I can only say my experiences I had Leanne I loved say my experiences I had Leanne I loved say my experiences I had Leanne I loved her and I and I didn't even realize it her and I and I didn't even realize it her and I and I didn't even realize it and the second she dumped me I went oh and the second she dumped me I went oh and the second she dumped me I went oh no no no no no oh I I don't get to live no no no no no oh I I don't get to live no no no no no oh I I don't get to live a great life without her she's the thing a great life without her she's the thing a great life without her she's the thing that's going to give me a great life I that's going to give me a great life I that's going to give me a great life I knew it Undisputed I went for a run and knew it Undisputed I went for a run and knew it Undisputed I went for a run and uh she dumped me I went to my shower I uh she dumped me I went to my shower I uh she dumped me I went to my shower I cried I went to Barnes Noble I bought cried I went to Barnes Noble I bought cried I went to Barnes Noble I bought men from Venus women from Mars I've men from Venus women from Mars I've men from Venus women from Mars I've watched Fight Club in my closet I didn't watched Fight Club in my closet I didn't watched Fight Club in my closet I didn't drink I drink a lot of Nyquil to sleep drink I drink a lot of Nyquil to sleep drink I drink a lot of Nyquil to sleep and then I went for a hike in Runyon and then I went for a hike in Runyon and then I went for a hike in Runyon Canyon I was running back down Outpost Canyon I was running back down Outpost Canyon I was running back down Outpost by Ben Affleck's house and and the sun by Ben Affleck's house and and the sun by Ben Affleck's house and and the sun was setting and I just said God if was setting and I just said God if was setting and I just said God if you're listening you're listening you're listening just give me this check back I'll never just give me this check back I'll never just give me this check back I'll never fuck it up this is the one I won't fuck fuck it up this is the one I won't fuck fuck it up this is the one I won't fuck it up I won't cheat I'm not gonna be a

it up I won't cheat I'm not gonna be a it up I won't cheat I'm not gonna be a bad dude I want to have kids with her bad dude I want to have kids with her bad dude I want to have kids with her I'll be there I'll be a great fucking I'll be there I'll be a great fucking I'll be there I'll be a great fucking dude I'll take her out on dates like dude I'll take her out on dates like dude I'll take her out on dates like I'll love this chick I'll love this chick I'll love this chick and I got home and she was in my room in and I got home and she was in my room in and I got home and she was in my room in a sundress yeah and I was like oh fuck a sundress yeah and I was like oh fuck a sundress yeah and I was like oh fuck you I didn't know he was real yeah I was you I didn't know he was real yeah I was you I didn't know he was real yeah I was like shit man give me like one more like shit man give me like one more like shit man give me like one more night let me give some strange tail real night let me give some strange tail real night let me give some strange tail real quick yeah before I commit forever but I quick yeah before I commit forever but I quick yeah before I commit forever but I think when you know you know this is so think when you know you know this is so think when you know you know this is so silly but I follow that in business silly but I follow that in business silly but I follow that in business like when you know you know and like my like when you know you know and like my like when you know you know and like my assistance with us and someone goes how assistance with us and someone goes how assistance with us and someone goes how do you find a good assistant I go when do you find a good assistant I go when do you find a good assistant I go when you know you know like people will show you know you know like people will show you know you know like people will show you who they are uh I can tell you when you who they are uh I can tell you when you who they are uh I can tell you when I fell in love with my assistant I fell in love with my assistant I fell in love with my assistant we were doing a TV show and and that we we were doing a TV show and and that we we were doing a TV show and and that we worked past dinner and all the dinner worked past dinner and all the dinner worked past dinner and all the dinner places were closed and he just said hey places were closed and he just said hey places were closed and he just said hey I got like four meals I didn't know I got like four meals I didn't know I got like four meals I didn't know which one you'd want so I got four which one you'd want so I got four which one you'd want so I got four different meals for you I ordered them different meals for you I ordered them different meals for you I ordered them they're up in your room and just let me they're up in your room and just let me they're up in your room and just let me know whichever you want I'll take care know whichever you want I'll take care know whichever you want I'll take care of the rest of them yeah and I was like of the rest of them yeah and I was like of the rest of them yeah and I was like oh that that dude thinks about other oh that that dude thinks about other oh that that dude thinks about other people before himself he didn't even get people before himself he didn't even get people before himself he didn't even get himself dinner he just got me four himself dinner he just got me four himself dinner he just got me four dinners and I was like fuck yeah I did dinners and I was like fuck yeah I did dinners and I was like fuck yeah I did the same thing with my social media the same thing with my social media the same thing with my social media manager manager manager the way she was operating was I was like the way she was operating was I was like the way she was operating was I was like I feel like she's thinking about me yeah I feel like she's thinking about me yeah I feel like she's thinking about me yeah and we connected on so many levels on so and we connected on so many levels on so and we connected on so many levels on so many levels I could talk to her about many levels I could talk to her about many levels I could talk to her about things and ideas I had and then I was things and ideas I had and then I was things and ideas I had and then I was like okay I want her I want him I want like okay I want her I want him I want like okay I want her I want him I want I think you I think it's got to be that I think you I think it's got to be that I think you I think it's got to be that thing when you know you know and it can thing when you know you know and it can thing when you know you know and it can be so simple as like be so simple as like be so simple as like like a personal trainer or like a jiu like a personal trainer or like a jiu like a personal trainer or like a jiu jitsu class or like just where you go oh jitsu class or like just where you go oh jitsu class or like just where you go oh I'm connecting right now but you have to I'm connecting right now but you have to I'm connecting right now but you have to allow yourself to notice that person you

allow yourself to notice that person you allow yourself to notice that person you I I think you do I mean I think you have I I think you do I mean I think you have I I think you do I mean I think you have to put yourself out there and you have to put yourself out there and you have to put yourself out there and you have to be available for it to be available for it to be available for it you know that's the hardest part is just you know that's the hardest part is just you know that's the hardest part is just being available for it being available for it being available for it because so people so many people just because so people so many people just because so people so many people just want to be busy just dating I just want want to be busy just dating I just want want to be busy just dating I just want to have someone in my life I don't want to have someone in my life I don't want to have someone in my life I don't want to be bored I don't want to what if I to be bored I don't want to what if I to be bored I don't want to what if I die alone I don't wanna I like just be die alone I don't wanna I like just be die alone I don't wanna I like just be available for it uh what is it you said available for it uh what is it you said available for it uh what is it you said peeling the baby shrimp yeah when you peeling the baby shrimp yeah when you peeling the baby shrimp yeah when you could be having a lobster could be having a lobster could be having a lobster yeah yeah yeah Lobster's still a lot of work I have to Lobster's still a lot of work I have to Lobster's still a lot of work I have to say yeah but well yeah but it's Lobster say yeah but well yeah but it's Lobster say yeah but well yeah but it's Lobster this is a fucking baby shrimp or like this is a fucking baby shrimp or like this is a fucking baby shrimp or like and you ever guess you ever get the ones and you ever guess you ever get the ones and you ever guess you ever get the ones in Brazil where you just go fucking eat in Brazil where you just go fucking eat in Brazil where you just go fucking eat the shell I don't care anymore the shell I don't care anymore the shell I don't care anymore like I'm so fucking hungry you just like I'm so fucking hungry you just like I'm so fucking hungry you just handful of lobster like it's popcorn or handful of lobster like it's popcorn or handful of lobster like it's popcorn or maybe shrimp like it's popcorn maybe shrimp like it's popcorn maybe shrimp like it's popcorn I've done that in Vietnam I've done that I've done that in Vietnam I've done that I've done that in Vietnam I've done that where did I just go it's too much work where did I just go it's too much work where did I just go it's too much work so when you're in it what's the secret so when you're in it what's the secret so when you're in it what's the secret to successful marriage to successful marriage to successful marriage what do uh women want or a Crusher oh what do uh women want or a Crusher oh what do uh women want or a Crusher oh fuck that's I'm the wrong guy to answer fuck that's I'm the wrong guy to answer fuck that's I'm the wrong guy to answer that I think how to make love to a woman that I think how to make love to a woman that I think how to make love to a woman by Bert Kreischer how do you make by Bert Kreischer how do you make by Bert Kreischer how do you make lobster woman I'll tell you how I do it lobster woman I'll tell you how I do it lobster woman I'll tell you how I do it yeah uh yeah uh yeah uh I go down on her first I go down on her first I go down on her first make sure she has an orgasm yeah and make sure she has an orgasm yeah and make sure she has an orgasm yeah and then I get my turn and that's over then I get my turn and that's over then I get my turn and that's over pretty quick pretty quick pretty quick it's like it's like your ears pierced it it's like it's like your ears pierced it it's like it's like your ears pierced it doesn't feel a little prick and it's doesn't feel a little prick and it's doesn't feel a little prick and it's over over over I um I um I um I don't know if I've done a great job I don't know if I've done a great job I don't know if I've done a great job keeping her happy I think I keep her keeping her happy I think I keep her keeping her happy I think I keep her interested like I think I I I

keep her occupied like I'm like a little keep her occupied like I'm like a little bit of a rodeo clown like I don't know I bit of a rodeo clown like I don't know I bit of a rodeo clown like I don't know I mean like I I know we're happy right now mean like I I know we're happy right now mean like I I know we're happy right now I know we're really happy I know we're really happy I know we're really happy but I don't know if I ever did but I don't know if I ever did but I don't know if I ever did as good a job as she did like she's as good a job as she did like she's as good a job as she did like she's always been always been always been like she's always been a gangster like like she's always been a gangster like like she's always been a gangster like done did everything just does everything done did everything just does everything done did everything just does everything she does it all she does everything like she does it all she does everything like she does it all she does everything like fucking everything and she loves it she fucking everything and she loves it she fucking everything and she loves it she just does it and then she shows Love For just does it and then she shows Love For just does it and then she shows Love For You by taking care of you and so like I You by taking care of you and so like I You by taking care of you and so like I have a lot of time just been this like have a lot of time just been this like have a lot of time just been this like almost like step and repeat husband almost like step and repeat husband almost like step and repeat husband where it's like I come in to take a where it's like I come in to take a where it's like I come in to take a picture like hey money Tuesday I'm all picture like hey money Tuesday I'm all picture like hey money Tuesday I'm all right I'm on the road Wednesday take right I'm on the road Wednesday take right I'm on the road Wednesday take care guys or like a travel channel I care guys or like a travel channel I care guys or like a travel channel I lived for two weeks at a time I left for lived for two weeks at a time I left for lived for two weeks at a time I left for the movie for three months so like I the movie for three months so like I the movie for three months so like I don't know that I've ever done don't know that I've ever done don't know that I've ever done a bang-up job a bang-up job a bang-up job I buy it like I go I remember one time I I buy it like I go I remember one time I I buy it like I go I remember one time I was just like I don't cheat on her I was just like I don't cheat on her I was just like I don't cheat on her I don't hit her I don't yell at her I'm a don't hit her I don't yell at her I'm a don't hit her I don't yell at her I'm a pretty good fighter I'm a really good pretty good fighter I'm a really good pretty good fighter I'm a really good fighter like like I'm good at like going fighter like like I'm good at like going fighter like like I'm good at like going like Hey we're on the same team Oh you like Hey we're on the same team Oh you like Hey we're on the same team Oh you mean de-escalation I'm really good at mean de-escalation I'm really good at mean de-escalation I'm really good at like I'm very self I'm very accountable like I'm very self I'm very accountable like I'm very self I'm very accountable I'm very self-correcting like if if I'm very self-correcting like if if I'm very self-correcting like if if we're in a fight and she points we're in a fight and she points we're in a fight and she points something out and I go oh you're right I something out and I go oh you're right I something out and I go oh you're right I go fuck you right about that you're go fuck you right about that you're go fuck you right about that you're right you're totally wrong oh in the right you're totally wrong oh in the right you're totally wrong oh in the moment in the moment I'm really good at moment in the moment I'm really good at moment in the moment I'm really good at that that that huh and my wife's not she's not a good huh and my wife's not she's not a good huh and my wife's not she's not a good apologizer like she needs to sleep on an apologizer like she needs to sleep on an apologizer like she needs to sleep on an apology and then she can do it I can apology and then she can do it I can apology and then she can do it I can apologize in the moment if I realize I'm apologize in the moment if I realize I'm apologize in the moment if I realize I'm wrong and I'm really quick to find my wrong and I'm really quick to find my wrong and I'm really quick to find my fault yeah I look for my fault because I

fault yeah I look for my fault because I fault yeah I look for my fault because I go tell me what I did go tell me what I did go tell me what I did adversely as a parent adversely as a parent adversely as a parent I have pulled my daughters aside and I have pulled my daughters aside and I have pulled my daughters aside and been like yo that wasn't you been like yo that wasn't you been like yo that wasn't you that was Mom yeah I'm giving you a heads that was Mom yeah I'm giving you a heads that was Mom yeah I'm giving you a heads up because I don't want because I got up because I don't want because I got up because I don't want because I got really confused as a kid because my dad really confused as a kid because my dad really confused as a kid because my dad always made sure I knew I was wrong always made sure I knew I was wrong always made sure I knew I was wrong and sometimes I wasn't yeah and then as and sometimes I wasn't yeah and then as and sometimes I wasn't yeah and then as a kid you kind of fucked up you're like a kid you kind of fucked up you're like a kid you kind of fucked up you're like well how do I know if I'm wrong and I well how do I know if I'm wrong and I well how do I know if I'm wrong and I think that raises so I was really good think that raises so I was really good think that raises so I was really good with my girls going like yo with my girls going like yo with my girls going like yo and then and then parenting Georgia and then and then parenting Georgia and then and then parenting Georgia taught me a lot about self-correcting taught me a lot about self-correcting taught me a lot about self-correcting self-correcting was that my oldest self-correcting was that my oldest self-correcting was that my oldest I'd only if I parented like my dad I'd only if I parented like my dad I'd only if I parented like my dad parented like just like Raise Your Voice parented like just like Raise Your Voice parented like just like Raise Your Voice get up to here that's it no that doesn't get up to here that's it no that doesn't get up to here that's it no that doesn't fuck this yeah how come the dogs don't fuck this yeah how come the dogs don't fuck this yeah how come the dogs don't have goddamn leashes on the collars on have goddamn leashes on the collars on have goddamn leashes on the collars on their necks their necks their necks and so with Georgia I had to learn and so with Georgia I had to learn and so with Georgia I had to learn through therapy through therapy through therapy that if if the if the consequence is that if if the if the consequence is that if if the if the consequence is here here here and it and the highest it goes is here and it and the highest it goes is here and it and the highest it goes is here then why the fuck wouldn't they lie and then why the fuck wouldn't they lie and then why the fuck wouldn't they lie and do everything because they go well I do everything because they go well I do everything because they go well I know what it's like to hear but if you know what it's like to hear but if you know what it's like to hear but if you can vary your consequence with a child can vary your consequence with a child can vary your consequence with a child and find some conversation in it then and find some conversation in it then and find some conversation in it then all of a sudden they're like well fuck all of a sudden they're like well fuck all of a sudden they're like well fuck well I don't want to lie cause this does well I don't want to lie cause this does well I don't want to lie cause this does this does suck like I like this I like this does suck like I like this I like this does suck like I like this I like where we talk and he says write a where we talk and he says write a where we talk and he says write a thousand words on why driving around thousand words on why driving around thousand words on why driving around your kids in a car kids in a car is bad your kids in a car kids in a car is bad your kids in a car kids in a car is bad so threaten extreme violence every once so threaten extreme violence every once so threaten extreme violence every once in a while just to yeah let them know in a while just to yeah let them know in a while just to yeah let them know the dog can fucking bite yeah the dog the dog can fucking bite yeah the dog the dog can fucking bite yeah the dog can bark the dog can bite but if you pet can bark the dog can bite but if you pet can bark the dog can bite but if you pet him on his belly he'll wag its tail yeah him on his belly he'll wag its tail yeah him on his belly he'll wag its tail yeah uh do you worry about being away too

uh do you worry about being away too uh do you worry about being away too much I mean you're one of the most much I mean you're one of the most much I mean you're one of the most creative content pushers and creators creative content pushers and creators creative content pushers and creators out there you're just constantly out there you're just constantly out there you're just constantly innovating constantly putting stuff out innovating constantly putting stuff out innovating constantly putting stuff out there but do you worry that pulls you there but do you worry that pulls you there but do you worry that pulls you away from like uh the mundane experience away from like uh the mundane experience away from like uh the mundane experience of Life yeah that can bring contentment of Life yeah that can bring contentment of Life yeah that can bring contentment and happiness yeah I feel like sometimes and happiness yeah I feel like sometimes and happiness yeah I feel like sometimes it cannibalizes your real life where you it cannibalizes your real life where you it cannibalizes your real life where you start going you start thinking in promo start going you start thinking in promo start going you start thinking in promo videos or you start looking at a videos or you start looking at a videos or you start looking at a vacation as a bit Yeah like we should go vacation as a bit Yeah like we should go vacation as a bit Yeah like we should go ziplining ziplining ziplining why don't you do ah what shoes you wear why don't you do ah what shoes you wear why don't you do ah what shoes you wear or not like it can it can definitely or not like it can it can definitely or not like it can it can definitely cannibalize your life cannibalize your life cannibalize your life my wife's really good at going like my wife's really good at going like my wife's really good at going like no like no phones no like no phones no like no phones the girls are really good the girls when the girls are really good the girls when the girls are really good the girls when I started instagramming stuff they I started instagramming stuff they I started instagramming stuff they started saying stuff like dad hits mom started saying stuff like dad hits mom started saying stuff like dad hits mom whoa guys they're like no put your phone whoa guys they're like no put your phone whoa guys they're like no put your phone away yeah dab less boys and I'm like away yeah dab less boys and I'm like away yeah dab less boys and I'm like yeah uh what's um yeah uh what's um yeah uh what's um what are some Secrets where's the wisdom what are some Secrets where's the wisdom what are some Secrets where's the wisdom you can say for how to be successful you can say for how to be successful you can say for how to be successful online and all the everything you've online and all the everything you've online and all the everything you've learned you're kind of like the the Mr learned you're kind of like the the Mr learned you're kind of like the the Mr Beast of Comedy just the innovating Beast of Comedy just the innovating Beast of Comedy just the innovating constantly constantly constantly in terms of how to promote stuff in in terms of how to promote stuff in in terms of how to promote stuff in terms of how to present stuff across the terms of how to present stuff across the terms of how to present stuff across the different social media and across different social media and across different social media and across YouTube podcasts all that stuff YouTube podcasts all that stuff YouTube podcasts all that stuff I think the number one thing is don't be I think the number one thing is don't be I think the number one thing is don't be afraid to suck afraid to suck afraid to suck no one sees the shit the socks no one sees the shit the socks no one sees the shit the socks doesn't get views I just guess forgot doesn't get views I just guess forgot doesn't get views I just guess forgot yeah it gets forgotten the good stuff yeah it gets forgotten the good stuff yeah it gets forgotten the good stuff they remember and then that's all they they remember and then that's all they they remember and then that's all they bring up the stuff that sucks just goes

bring up the stuff that sucks just goes bring up the stuff that sucks just goes away and they're like oh yeah did you do away and they're like oh yeah did you do away and they're like oh yeah did you do that I don't even think I saw that fuck that I don't even think I saw that fuck that I don't even think I saw that fuck it who cares yeah you know it's like it who cares yeah you know it's like it who cares yeah you know it's like it's like I watched uh one of my it's like I watched uh one of my it's like I watched uh one of my favorite stories about this is uh favorite stories about this is uh favorite stories about this is uh a guy named uh Sean Patton a guy named uh Sean Patton a guy named uh Sean Patton I was explaining Instagram stories to I was explaining Instagram stories to I was explaining Instagram stories to him and Ari and Mark Norman and I was him and Ari and Mark Norman and I was him and Ari and Mark Norman and I was explaining that you can now sell tickets explaining that you can now sell tickets explaining that you can now sell tickets on Instagram stories it was back when on Instagram stories it was back when on Instagram stories it was back when they swiped up instead of tap the button they swiped up instead of tap the button they swiped up instead of tap the button swipe up swipe up swipe up and they didn't understand it and I said and they didn't understand it and I said and they didn't understand it and I said let me show you and I put up tickets for let me show you and I put up tickets for let me show you and I put up tickets for sale sale sale and I said you know hey guys swipe up and I said you know hey guys swipe up and I said you know hey guys swipe up and then I just showed him in 10 minutes and then I just showed him in 10 minutes and then I just showed him in 10 minutes look there's so many people swipes up look there's so many people swipes up look there's so many people swipes up it's 145 people it's a lot of people to it's 145 people it's a lot of people to it's 145 people it's a lot of people to buy tickets for a fucking comedy club buy tickets for a fucking comedy club buy tickets for a fucking comedy club and they were like whoa and they were like whoa and they were like whoa and they're like what do you do stories and they're like what do you do stories and they're like what do you do stories about go find anything who gives a shit about go find anything who gives a shit about go find anything who gives a shit just anything and some things work some just anything and some things work some just anything and some things work some things don't things don't things don't and I watched Sean Patton shout out to and I watched Sean Patton shout out to and I watched Sean Patton shout out to Sean Patton try for about 15 minutes to Sean Patton try for about 15 minutes to Sean Patton try for about 15 minutes to do an Instagram story about uh his cup do an Instagram story about uh his cup do an Instagram story about uh his cup of tea he was making a cup of tea and he of tea he was making a cup of tea and he of tea he was making a cup of tea and he was making and he kept going hey okay was making and he kept going hey okay was making and he kept going hey okay hold on fucking hold on to me yeah I was hold on fucking hold on to me yeah I was hold on fucking hold on to me yeah I was filming him from the couch yeah I was filming him from the couch yeah I was filming him from the couch yeah I was filming all these attacks the whole filming all these attacks the whole filming all these attacks the whole thing yeah I filmed every single one of thing yeah I filmed every single one of thing yeah I filmed every single one of my like 15 different stories of him my like 15 different stories of him my like 15 different stories of him trying to do that I had 145 000 views on trying to do that I had 145 000 views on trying to do that I had 145 000 views on each story he never posted it each story he never posted it each story he never posted it he never posted it and I was like I was he never posted it and I was like I was he never posted it and I was like I was like man if he had just posted that one like man if he had just posted that one like man if he had just posted that one he never posted anything in his stories he never posted anything in his stories he never posted anything in his stories yeah that one 145 5 000 people would yeah that one 145 5 000 people would yeah that one 145 5 000 people would have gone to a story to see that cup of have gone to a story to see that cup of have gone to a story to see that cup of tea being made and see which one he tea being made and see which one he tea being made and see which one he finally went with and so sometimes I finally went with and so sometimes I finally went with and so sometimes I think the biggest mistake you can make think the biggest mistake you can make think the biggest mistake you can make is just not doing it just do it just is just not doing it just do it just is just not doing it just do it just post it turn the camera on the idea will post it turn the camera on the idea will post it turn the camera on the idea will show up and that that's the number one

show up and that that's the number one show up and that that's the number one thing you just turn the camera on and thing you just turn the camera on and thing you just turn the camera on and it'll come up you'll figure it out you it'll come up you'll figure it out you it'll come up you'll figure it out you do multiple takes or no maybe I do three do multiple takes or no maybe I do three do multiple takes or no maybe I do three like and I'm talking even like in the like and I'm talking even like in the like and I'm talking even like in the dance video I did where I did the dance video I did where I did the dance video I did where I did the hip-hop dance I did two takes on that hip-hop dance I did two takes on that hip-hop dance I did two takes on that um when I had the marching band kind of um when I had the marching band kind of um when I had the marching band kind of my house I did two takes on that my house I did two takes on that my house I did two takes on that um once you start doing more takes you um once you start doing more takes you um once you start doing more takes you lose the fun of it I think and uh lose the fun of it I think and uh lose the fun of it I think and uh and then the fun ones I mean my favorite and then the fun ones I mean my favorite and then the fun ones I mean my favorite one I've ever done without a doubt my one I've ever done without a doubt my one I've ever done without a doubt my favorite promo I've ever done favorite promo I've ever done favorite promo I've ever done is uh is uh is uh I needed they added a second show in I needed they added a second show in I needed they added a second show in some City and uh and some City and uh and some City and uh and and they had a second show like Friday and they had a second show like Friday and they had a second show like Friday and Saturday and our third show and I and Saturday and our third show and I and Saturday and our third show and I said I they just told me I was like fuck said I they just told me I was like fuck said I they just told me I was like fuck I'm leaving like tomorrow I need to sell I'm leaving like tomorrow I need to sell I'm leaving like tomorrow I need to sell tickets so I said real quick girls meet tickets so I said real quick girls meet tickets so I said real quick girls meet me outside and lands like girls are me outside and lands like girls are me outside and lands like girls are doing homework I'm gonna take five doing homework I'm gonna take five doing homework I'm gonna take five seconds I put on a speedo I got the seconds I put on a speedo I got the seconds I put on a speedo I got the American flag I gave Isla the hose I American flag I gave Isla the hose I American flag I gave Isla the hose I gave Leanne the leaf blower and I gave gave Leanne the leaf blower and I gave gave Leanne the leaf blower and I gave Georgia the Drone and I just had Georgia Georgia the Drone and I just had Georgia Georgia the Drone and I just had Georgia drone it back to reveal the leaf blower drone it back to reveal the leaf blower drone it back to reveal the leaf blower and this the mist you were seeing was and this the mist you were seeing was and this the mist you were seeing was coming from Isla and Leanne yeah I'm in coming from Isla and Leanne yeah I'm in coming from Isla and Leanne yeah I'm in a speedo with American flag I have Bob a speedo with American flag I have Bob a speedo with American flag I have Bob Seger playing rambling Grambling man Seger playing rambling Grambling man Seger playing rambling Grambling man yeah yeah yeah and and that night Larry the Cable Guy and and that night Larry the Cable Guy and and that night Larry the Cable Guy texted me and he goes this is fucking texted me and he goes this is fucking texted me and he goes this is fucking genius and I was like it was just and it genius and I was like it was just and it genius and I was like it was just and it was just like yo just let's just shoot was just like yo just let's just shoot was just like yo just let's just shoot something who gives a fuck something who gives a fuck something who gives a fuck like just shoot something just just just like just shoot something just just just like just shoot something just just just say something and and put a little just say something and and put a little just say something and and put a little just do a little movement into it and and

do a little movement into it and and do a little movement into it and and those are my back and that was I used to those are my back and that was I used to those are my back and that was I used to be I watched a bunch of my promo Clips be I watched a bunch of my promo Clips be I watched a bunch of my promo Clips back from back in the day I used to be back from back in the day I used to be back from back in the day I used to be really good now it's like really good now it's like really good now it's like I'm promoting so fucking many things I'm I'm promoting so fucking many things I'm I'm promoting so fucking many things I'm just like I'm almost like I'm exhausted just like I'm almost like I'm exhausted just like I'm almost like I'm exhausted about my promotions about my promotions about my promotions yeah because you know the the well can yeah because you know the the well can yeah because you know the the well can dry up in terms of ideas yeah and it's dry up in terms of ideas yeah and it's dry up in terms of ideas yeah and it's like how many times am I going to show a like how many times am I going to show a like how many times am I going to show a picture of my ass my ass smells really picture of my ass my ass smells really picture of my ass my ass smells really good that's whatever my ass is on good that's whatever my ass is on good that's whatever my ass is on Instagram fucking million views Instagram fucking million views Instagram fucking million views guaranteed a million views your ass and guaranteed a million views your ass and guaranteed a million views your ass and and and and inner and it's and it's an and and and inner and it's and it's an and and and inner and it's and it's an active post like people are like I did active post like people are like I did active post like people are like I did the best one I did the other day was the best one I did the other day was the best one I did the other day was where I superimposed my ass on my front where I superimposed my ass on my front where I superimposed my ass on my front and it just looked beautiful yeah no and it just looked beautiful yeah no and it just looked beautiful yeah no views oh oh is that what it was yeah I think so but is that what it was yeah I think so but is that what it was yeah I think so but like but yeah my ass like I'm I'm in a like but yeah my ass like I'm I'm in a like but yeah my ass like I'm I'm in a place right now where I am promoting place right now where I am promoting place right now where I am promoting I'll be promoting this movie I'll be I'll be promoting this movie I'll be I'll be promoting this movie I'll be promoting this movie until it goes to a promoting this movie until it goes to a promoting this movie until it goes to a streamer I'll be promoting it uh streamer I'll be promoting it uh streamer I'll be promoting it uh shamelessly I'm proud of it I I had a shamelessly I'm proud of it I I had a shamelessly I'm proud of it I I had a great time shooting it it's in theaters great time shooting it it's in theaters great time shooting it it's in theaters it'll be on video on demand it'll be on it'll be on video on demand it'll be on it'll be on video on demand it'll be on a streamer I'm sure I don't know but I'm a streamer I'm sure I don't know but I'm a streamer I'm sure I don't know but I'm sure I'm promoting fully loaded My sure I'm promoting fully loaded My sure I'm promoting fully loaded My Summer Festival with 19 different Comics Summer Festival with 19 different Comics Summer Festival with 19 different Comics I'm promoting the top soft World Tour I'm promoting the top soft World Tour I'm promoting the top soft World Tour that starts again this fall I'm that starts again this fall I'm that starts again this fall I'm promoting my cruise the fully loaded promoting my cruise the fully loaded promoting my cruise the fully loaded Cruise I'm promoting Red Rocks I'm Cruise I'm promoting Red Rocks I'm Cruise I'm promoting Red Rocks I'm promoting so many things promoting so many things promoting so many things that today was the very first time in my that today was the very first time in my that today was the very first time in my career career career where I said in January I'm going to where I said in January I'm going to where I said in January I'm going to take a break I'm going to take a break take a break I'm going to take a break take a break I'm going to take a break and go like hey man let's let's get your

and go like hey man let's let's get your and go like hey man let's let's get your resting heart rate down yeah let's let's resting heart rate down yeah let's let's resting heart rate down yeah let's let's get some sleep get some sleep get some sleep let's let's maybe take off like three let's let's maybe take off like three let's let's maybe take off like three months from drinking like that's just months from drinking like that's just months from drinking like that's just really like slow it down and and also really like slow it down and and also really like slow it down and and also not think when you're thinking in promo not think when you're thinking in promo not think when you're thinking in promo all the time all the time all the time it it can be a little exhaust I mean you it it can be a little exhaust I mean you it it can be a little exhaust I mean you think you think it's exhausting to look think you think it's exhausting to look think you think it's exhausting to look at my feed it's exhausting to be my feed at my feed it's exhausting to be my feed at my feed it's exhausting to be my feed I'm my feed I'm my feed I'm my feed sometimes less is more sometimes less is more sometimes less is more but one of the things that nope one of but one of the things that nope one of but one of the things that nope one of the things that inspires me about Rogan the things that inspires me about Rogan the things that inspires me about Rogan for example for example for example is um is um is um he almost never does this kind of stuff he almost never does this kind of stuff he almost never does this kind of stuff yeah yeah and how suddenly does this yeah yeah and how suddenly does this yeah yeah and how suddenly does this podcast because you write less is more podcast because you write less is more podcast because you write less is more how what does he do it like once a month how what does he do it like once a month how what does he do it like once a month yeah no he does it three times a fucking yeah no he does it three times a fucking yeah no he does it three times a fucking week yeah week yeah week yeah more is more is perfect but for example more is more is perfect but for example more is more is perfect but for example when he does like a story or something when he does like a story or something when he does like a story or something like this he does one take like this he does one take like this he does one take it's kind of shitty it's the same day it's kind of shitty it's the same day it's kind of shitty it's the same day it's the same it's elk with a bunch of it's the same it's elk with a bunch of it's the same it's elk with a bunch of jalapenos a knife that he had sent to jalapenos a knife that he had sent to jalapenos a knife that he had sent to him by a fucking knife maker and him him by a fucking knife maker and him him by a fucking knife maker and him going look at this look at this Traeger going look at this look at this Traeger going look at this look at this Traeger smoker I reverse seared this this is smoker I reverse seared this this is smoker I reverse seared this this is what's great look at this I'm about to what's great look at this I'm about to what's great look at this I'm about to put in the butter and like this is put in the butter and like this is put in the butter and like this is grass-fed butter this milk really raises grass-fed butter this milk really raises grass-fed butter this milk really raises my testosterone Rogan is it's you're my testosterone Rogan is it's you're my testosterone Rogan is it's you're right with guys like Rogan when he does right with guys like Rogan when he does right with guys like Rogan when he does do a story if they're a little precious do a story if they're a little precious do a story if they're a little precious yeah and there's I don't think he's he's yeah and there's I don't think he's he's yeah and there's I don't think he's he's ever done a second take a name of those ever done a second take a name of those ever done a second take a name of those stories no it is you have to really stories no it is you have to really stories no it is you have to really admire that like uh if the shot is

admire that like uh if the shot is admire that like uh if the shot is framed poorly if the audio sucks doesn't framed poorly if the audio sucks doesn't framed poorly if the audio sucks doesn't matter do you remember when he this is matter do you remember when he this is matter do you remember when he this is like like I can get in the Weeds on like like I can get in the Weeds on like like I can get in the Weeds on Rogan but and especially when it's Rogan but and especially when it's Rogan but and especially when it's Instagram do you remember when he got Instagram do you remember when he got Instagram do you remember when he got his Polar Plunge and he couldn't sit in his Polar Plunge and he couldn't sit in his Polar Plunge and he couldn't sit in a minute and then the next day and then a minute and then the next day and then a minute and then the next day and then he must have gotten it on the internet he must have gotten it on the internet he must have gotten it on the internet bad yeah he must have gotten it bad yeah bad yeah he must have gotten it bad yeah bad yeah he must have gotten it bad yeah the next day he sat in for 20 minutes the next day he sat in for 20 minutes the next day he sat in for 20 minutes and he lowered his core temperature by and he lowered his core temperature by and he lowered his core temperature by like two degrees and it took him like a like two degrees and it took him like a like two degrees and it took him like a month to get that back yeah that is that month to get that back yeah that is that month to get that back yeah that is that fucking man what an interesting you know fucking man what an interesting you know fucking man what an interesting you know what I told you at the beginning we were what I told you at the beginning we were what I told you at the beginning we were just talking just talking just talking I like I really enjoy I draw inspiration I like I really enjoy I draw inspiration I like I really enjoy I draw inspiration for men I'm not like um for men I'm not like um for men I'm not like um you David Goggins cam Hanes you David Goggins cam Hanes you David Goggins cam Hanes um Andrew heberman huberman I love uh uh um Andrew heberman huberman I love uh uh um Andrew heberman huberman I love uh uh uh fucking I mean there's so many guys uh fucking I mean there's so many guys uh fucking I mean there's so many guys like that Rogan you know Tim Kennedy like that Rogan you know Tim Kennedy like that Rogan you know Tim Kennedy like there are a lot of guys that are like there are a lot of guys that are like there are a lot of guys that are like just very different men than me and like just very different men than me and like just very different men than me and I love Jocko willnick like I love I love Jocko willnick like I love I love Jocko willnick like I love I love reading their stuff or listening I love reading their stuff or listening I love reading their stuff or listening to their audio books or what listen to to their audio books or what listen to to their audio books or what listen to their podcast because I'm so not like their podcast because I'm so not like their podcast because I'm so not like that but that for me when I add a little that but that for me when I add a little that but that for me when I add a little bit of that in my life like I remember bit of that in my life like I remember bit of that in my life like I remember you went I don't know what you were you went I don't know what you were you went I don't know what you were doing doing doing but you were walking us through your day but you were walking us through your day but you were walking us through your day and it was so and it was so and it was so fascinating fascinating fascinating it was like it was like I ran eight it was like it was like I ran eight it was like it was like I ran eight miles today I listened to an audiobook I miles today I listened to an audiobook I miles today I listened to an audiobook I was running eight miles and then I came was running eight miles and then I came was running eight miles and then I came and I worked for about three hours and I worked for about three hours and I worked for about three hours straight on AI stuff and I'm like and I

straight on AI stuff and I'm like and I straight on AI stuff and I'm like and I was like wait you sat at a desk like you was like wait you sat at a desk like you was like wait you sat at a desk like you like sat at a desk and like and I I like sat at a desk and like and I I like sat at a desk and like and I I actually actually actually I wouldn't even know what to do I would I wouldn't even know what to do I would I wouldn't even know what to do I would start doing crafts like I would like start doing crafts like I would like start doing crafts like I would like that you went I was like is your that you went I was like is your that you went I was like is your computer like yeah have you sat for like computer like yeah have you sat for like computer like yeah have you sat for like four hours four hours four hours focused on a single task me yeah no no focused on a single task me yeah no no focused on a single task me yeah no no oh I have a hard time sleeping for four oh I have a hard time sleeping for four oh I have a hard time sleeping for four hours yeah like I I don't have that I I hours yeah like I I don't have that I I hours yeah like I I don't have that I I don't have a brain that like I really don't have a brain that like I really don't have a brain that like I really admired it when I listened to you do it admired it when I listened to you do it admired it when I listened to you do it because then you were like you're taught because then you were like you're taught because then you were like you're taught you were fasting at the time you're you were fasting at the time you're you were fasting at the time you're doing your fast and then you talk about doing your fast and then you talk about doing your fast and then you talk about what you ate and I was jealous I wanted what you ate and I was jealous I wanted what you ate and I was jealous I wanted to be able to be like that and I think to be able to be like that and I think to be able to be like that and I think at that time we started I think you're at that time we started I think you're at that time we started I think you're doing maybe bone broth or something and doing maybe bone broth or something and doing maybe bone broth or something and we started doing bone broth we started doing bone broth we started doing bone broth pretty religiously and adding that into pretty religiously and adding that into pretty religiously and adding that into a fast because I was like a fast because I was like a fast because I was like it does for someone like me it does feel it does for someone like me it does feel it does for someone like me it does feel cool to add a little bit of control into cool to add a little bit of control into cool to add a little bit of control into life so integrating a little bit of a life so integrating a little bit of a life so integrating a little bit of a way of being from another person that way of being from another person that way of being from another person that you're not like yeah like like uh like you're not like yeah like like uh like you're not like yeah like like uh like so so David Goggins is consistently so so David Goggins is consistently so so David Goggins is consistently pushing himself pushing himself pushing himself I love I did it I did it over the I love I did it I did it over the I love I did it I did it over the pandemic more but I loved going today pandemic more but I loved going today pandemic more but I loved going today I'm running a marathon I'm gonna get on I'm running a marathon I'm gonna get on I'm running a marathon I'm gonna get on the treadmill and it's not gonna be all the treadmill and it's not gonna be all the treadmill and it's not gonna be all at once but I'm gonna get through a at once but I'm gonna get through a at once but I'm gonna get through a Marathon today so let's get up give me Marathon today so let's get up give me Marathon today so let's get up give me some coffee and let's see if we can do some coffee and let's see if we can do some coffee and let's see if we can do like five miles and then know that we like five miles and then know that we like five miles and then know that we started there and that was really fun started there and that was really fun started there and that was really fun because like

because like because like um cam Haines does that too where he um cam Haines does that too where he um cam Haines does that too where he goes like goes like goes like he almost just sets the limit and then he almost just sets the limit and then he almost just sets the limit and then and then achieves that his son Truitt is and then achieves that his son Truitt is and then achieves that his son Truitt is really fascinating because it's untrue really fascinating because it's untrue really fascinating because it's untrue it's right now is trying to get the and it's right now is trying to get the and it's right now is trying to get the and like I bet people would never think that like I bet people would never think that like I bet people would never think that this is who I watch but I get real this is who I watch but I get real this is who I watch but I get real inspiration from those people because I inspiration from those people because I inspiration from those people because I showed Jocko I showed a clip to Jocko to showed Jocko I showed a clip to Jocko to showed Jocko I showed a clip to Jocko to Isla because Isla's like me like like a Isla because Isla's like me like like a Isla because Isla's like me like like a a person of her fluids impulse a person of her fluids impulse a person of her fluids impulse I walked in on her one time she was in I walked in on her one time she was in I walked in on her one time she was in the pantry in a bathrobe in the dark the pantry in a bathrobe in the dark the pantry in a bathrobe in the dark drinking a root beer yeah and I opened drinking a root beer yeah and I opened drinking a root beer yeah and I opened the door and she went I said what she the door and she went I said what she the door and she went I said what she goes I thought you were mom shut the goes I thought you were mom shut the goes I thought you were mom shut the door and I shut the door to let her door and I shut the door to let her door and I shut the door to let her finish the root beer yes she has a hard finish the root beer yes she has a hard finish the root beer yes she has a hard time waking up so Isla come in here I time waking up so Isla come in here I time waking up so Isla come in here I want you to see this clip from Jocko she want you to see this clip from Jocko she want you to see this clip from Jocko she goes who's Jocko I say he's a Navy SEAL goes who's Jocko I say he's a Navy SEAL goes who's Jocko I say he's a Navy SEAL she goes he works at the zoo I went no she goes he works at the zoo I went no she goes he works at the zoo I went no he said Navy fucking seal I got some he said Navy fucking seal I got some he said Navy fucking seal I got some badass job she goes it's a silly name badass job she goes it's a silly name badass job she goes it's a silly name and I went no it's not it isn't a silly and I went no it's not it isn't a silly and I went no it's not it isn't a silly name these guys are the toughest dudes name these guys are the toughest dudes name these guys are the toughest dudes in the world she goes she's kind of in the world she goes she's kind of in the world she goes she's kind of right though about the silly name I right though about the silly name I right though about the silly name I never even realized that oh yeah you never even realized that oh yeah you never even realized that oh yeah you talk to a child yeah and so I go watch talk to a child yeah and so I go watch talk to a child yeah and so I go watch this what he says about waking up so it this what he says about waking up so it this what he says about waking up so it hits the thing and Joker Goes hits the thing and Joker Goes hits the thing and Joker Goes first thing you do when you hear that first thing you do when you hear that first thing you do when you hear that alarm clock alarm clock alarm clock you could roll over you could go back to you could roll over you could go back to you could roll over you could go back to bed you could hit snooze but you get out bed you could hit snooze but you get out bed you could hit snooze but you get out of bed and that's your first Victory and of bed and that's your first Victory and of bed and that's your first Victory and Isla has paused and she goes Isla has paused and she goes Isla has paused and she goes how great is that nap right after you how great is that nap right after you how great is that nap right after you hit snooze though it is pretty funny hit snooze though it is pretty funny hit snooze though it is pretty funny you're missing the point yeah this whole

you're missing the point yeah this whole you're missing the point yeah this whole speech he's with Casey neistat when he's speech he's with Casey neistat when he's speech he's with Casey neistat when he's telling this speech he's with Casey telling this speech he's with Casey telling this speech he's with Casey neistat yeah and uh so I hit it and then neistat yeah and uh so I hit it and then neistat yeah and uh so I hit it and then he goes and then you've got a victory he goes and then you've got a victory he goes and then you've got a victory under your belt then you go to the gym under your belt then you go to the gym under your belt then you go to the gym and you work out like are you listening and you work out like are you listening and you work out like are you listening to this island she goes yeah and he goes to this island she goes yeah and he goes to this island she goes yeah and he goes then when you go to the work now you've then when you go to the work now you've then when you go to the work now you've got two victories you've worked out and got two victories you've worked out and got two victories you've worked out and you've woken up on time you didn't hit you've woken up on time you didn't hit you've woken up on time you didn't hit that snooze button so when you go into that snooze button so when you go into that snooze button so when you go into that break room and you see donuts and that break room and you see donuts and that break room and you see donuts and she hits the balls she goes she hits the balls she goes she hits the balls she goes um if he's about to say no to Donuts I'm um if he's about to say no to Donuts I'm um if he's about to say no to Donuts I'm done listening I was definitely gonna done listening I was definitely gonna done listening I was definitely gonna say no to Donuts do you think he's gonna say no to Donuts do you think he's gonna say no to Donuts do you think he's gonna have a donut and she goes have a donut and she goes have a donut and she goes you like this guy I go I fucking love you like this guy I go I fucking love you like this guy I go I fucking love him and she goes do you think he'd like him and she goes do you think he'd like him and she goes do you think he'd like you and I go what do you mean she goes you and I go what do you mean she goes you and I go what do you mean she goes dad you hit snooze you skip working out dad you hit snooze you skip working out dad you hit snooze you skip working out and you love donuts and I'm like yeah and you love donuts and I'm like yeah and you love donuts and I'm like yeah you're making a good fucking point I go you're making a good fucking point I go you're making a good fucking point I go I but I but I do love that like I love I but I but I do love that like I love I but I but I do love that like I love to watch that brain work and go like to watch that brain work and go like to watch that brain work and go like like I don't I don't hit snooze like I like I don't I don't hit snooze like I like I don't I don't hit snooze like I don't hit snooze now I go fuck it don't hit snooze now I go fuck it don't hit snooze now I go fuck it because I'm up but I and then and then I because I'm up but I and then and then I because I'm up but I and then and then I go to the gym every single morning I go go to the gym every single morning I go go to the gym every single morning I go to the gym every single morning and to the gym every single morning and to the gym every single morning and today is National Donut Day I didn't today is National Donut Day I didn't today is National Donut Day I didn't have a donut have a donut have a donut and so like I I like I try I like try to and so like I I like I try I like try to and so like I I like I try I like try to apply these a little bit because I mean apply these a little bit because I mean apply these a little bit because I mean the other side of me is like tonight the other side of me is like tonight the other side of me is like tonight after we do this after we do this after we do this I'll do another podcast and then I'm I'll do another podcast and then I'm I'll do another podcast and then I'm gonna call Leanne and go yo we're in gonna call Leanne and go yo we're in gonna call Leanne and go yo we're in Beverly Hills meet me out here let's go Beverly Hills meet me out here let's go Beverly Hills meet me out here let's go have drinks let's go have fucking couple have drinks let's go have fucking couple have drinks let's go have fucking couple Campari Spritz Campari Spritz Campari Spritz all right let's go over her friend's all right let's go over her friend's all right let's go over her friend's house and overnight let's get some house and overnight let's get some house and overnight let's get some edibles and let's fucking have a night edibles and let's fucking have a night edibles and let's fucking have a night about it get some sushi go have sex in about it get some sushi go have sex in about it get some sushi go have sex in the hot tub and I gotta work out at the hot tub and I gotta work out at the hot tub and I gotta work out at fucking 10 in the morning I gotta tell you that nap let me press I gotta tell you that nap let me press news is the sweetest

news is the sweetest news is the sweetest that's that's my victory first Victory that's that's my victory first Victory that's that's my victory first Victory is pressing snooze and getting a nap is pressing snooze and getting a nap is pressing snooze and getting a nap onto the Belt have you ever had I had so onto the Belt have you ever had I had so onto the Belt have you ever had I had so this this morning I didn't work I didn't this this morning I didn't work I didn't this this morning I didn't work I didn't work out I'd press at like five in the work out I'd press at like five in the work out I'd press at like five in the morning until about six you're going morning until about six you're going morning until about six you're going hard right now yeah yeah yeah yeah hard right now yeah yeah yeah yeah hard right now yeah yeah yeah yeah flew to Austin I was like what flew to Austin I was like what flew to Austin I was like what yeah what just run around theaters and yeah what just run around theaters and yeah what just run around theaters and now you're back yeah running around now you're back yeah running around now you're back yeah running around theaters to do to promote the movie and theaters to do to promote the movie and theaters to do to promote the movie and then look you only get one shot at these then look you only get one shot at these then look you only get one shot at these movies so you might as well do and look movies so you might as well do and look movies so you might as well do and look it's really hard to get people to go it's really hard to get people to go it's really hard to get people to go into the movie theater right now and so into the movie theater right now and so into the movie theater right now and so I woke up at like six to five or six to I woke up at like six to five or six to I woke up at like six to five or six to seven did press seven did press seven did press and then I went and then I went and then I went and I said and I'm really into a podcast and I said and I'm really into a podcast and I said and I'm really into a podcast uh History Podcast right now and I was uh History Podcast right now and I was uh History Podcast right now and I was listening to this one about the listening to this one about the listening to this one about the Conquistadors and I was and I was like Conquistadors and I was and I was like Conquistadors and I was and I was like before when I woke up I was like I before when I woke up I was like I before when I woke up I was like I wouldn't mind going back to that and I wouldn't mind going back to that and I wouldn't mind going back to that and I said I'll tell you what said I'll tell you what said I'll tell you what I'm gonna take a little nap I'm gonna take a little nap I'm gonna take a little nap and go now I slept good last night I and go now I slept good last night I and go now I slept good last night I slept like seven hours last night slept like seven hours last night slept like seven hours last night boy that 30 minute nap it felt like five boy that 30 minute nap it felt like five boy that 30 minute nap it felt like five hours and I woke up going hours and I woke up going hours and I woke up going I gotta readjust my sleep score that has I gotta readjust my sleep score that has I gotta readjust my sleep score that has to be in the 97 that's the best fucking to be in the 97 that's the best fucking to be in the 97 that's the best fucking nap those little snooze naps are nap those little snooze naps are nap those little snooze naps are monsters you know there's I don't care monsters you know there's I don't care monsters you know there's I don't care that's probably for me one of the peak that's probably for me one of the peak that's probably for me one of the peak experiences of life is those naps I experiences of life is those naps I experiences of life is those naps I don't know what that is have you ever don't know what that is have you ever don't know what that is have you ever slept in a tour bus slept in a tour bus slept in a tour bus a tour bus versus a regular bus like a

a tour bus versus a regular bus like a a tour bus versus a regular bus like a tour bus like meaning like it's in a tour bus like meaning like it's in a tour bus like meaning like it's in a bunk bunk bunk no no no but I've taken a lot of buses in my life but I've taken a lot of buses in my life but I've taken a lot of buses in my life though would mean like just like a like though would mean like just like a like though would mean like just like a like those are very different and uh those are very different and uh those are very different and uh well listen they well listen they well listen they that's just part of part of life and a that's just part of part of life and a that's just part of part of life and a greyhound I was on a Greyhound one time greyhound I was on a Greyhound one time greyhound I was on a Greyhound one time one time right notorious b.i.g's album one time right notorious b.i.g's album one time right notorious b.i.g's album came out in college and I was going from came out in college and I was going from came out in college and I was going from Tallahassee down to Tampa and the dude Tallahassee down to Tampa and the dude Tallahassee down to Tampa and the dude got on the tour bus got on the bus next got on the tour bus got on the bus next got on the tour bus got on the bus next to me black dude and he sat down he said to me black dude and he sat down he said to me black dude and he sat down he said we had it and I said Tampa he said you we had it and I said Tampa he said you we had it and I said Tampa he said you grew up in Tampa I said yeah I said you grew up in Tampa I said yeah I said you grew up in Tampa I said yeah I said you and he goes yeah I said you go to school and he goes yeah I said you go to school and he goes yeah I said you go to school fam and because family on Florida State fam and because family on Florida State fam and because family on Florida State the two schools one's black ones white the two schools one's black ones white the two schools one's black ones white and he goes no I just got out of prison and he goes no I just got out of prison and he goes no I just got out of prison I said you go to prison and he goes yeah I said you go to prison and he goes yeah I said you go to prison and he goes yeah yeah man I got out of prison I stabbed a yeah man I got out of prison I stabbed a yeah man I got out of prison I stabbed a dude and uh and uh and I've been in dude and uh and uh and I've been in dude and uh and uh and I've been in prison I just got out today because what prison I just got out today because what prison I just got out today because what are you listening to I said Notorious are you listening to I said Notorious are you listening to I said Notorious B.I.G and he goes oh shit that's out and B.I.G and he goes oh shit that's out and B.I.G and he goes oh shit that's out and I went yeah and he goes I want to hear I went yeah and he goes I want to hear I went yeah and he goes I want to hear it can I hear it and I was like yeah and it can I hear it and I was like yeah and it can I hear it and I was like yeah and he used my headsets the whole bus ride he used my headsets the whole bus ride he used my headsets the whole bus ride to Tampa I didn't have the Bible I was to Tampa I didn't have the Bible I was to Tampa I didn't have the Bible I was like he stabbed a man they're yours now like he stabbed a man they're yours now like he stabbed a man they're yours now I guess and then I just sat next to him I guess and then I just sat next to him I guess and then I just sat next to him and I was like is he enjoying it he's and I was like is he enjoying it he's and I was like is he enjoying it he's like this is good no tour bus naps yeah like this is good no tour bus naps yeah like this is good no tour bus naps yeah when you're in a bunk it's ice cold bust when you're in a bunk it's ice cold bust when you're in a bunk it's ice cold bust isn't moving five o'clock you got like isn't moving five o'clock you got like isn't moving five o'clock you got like we work out from like up until like five we work out from like up until like five we work out from like up until like five o'clock 5 30 show starts at seven but o'clock 5 30 show starts at seven but o'clock 5 30 show starts at seven but that five o'clock to six six thirty nap

Pitch Black it's like a coffin and it is Pitch Black it's like a coffin and it is ice cold and you got all your pillows ice cold and you got all your pillows ice cold and you got all your pillows and blankets in there and you put a and blankets in there and you put a and blankets in there and you put a little History podcast on in the corner little History podcast on in the corner little History podcast on in the corner and you just listen to like and you just listen to like and you just listen to like or like oh my God so you're talking or like oh my God so you're talking or like oh my God so you're talking about like five six p.m for a 7 P.M show about like five six p.m for a 7 P.M show about like five six p.m for a 7 P.M show oh it's the best nap you'll ever have if oh it's the best nap you'll ever have if oh it's the best nap you'll ever have if you wake up so refreshed yeah like I've you wake up so refreshed yeah like I've you wake up so refreshed yeah like I've woken up from naps like where I'm like woken up from naps like where I'm like woken up from naps like where I'm like fuck yeah like they're those those tour fuck yeah like they're those those tour fuck yeah like they're those those tour bus naps are the best naps yeah I think bus naps are the best naps yeah I think bus naps are the best naps yeah I think having a full productive day having a full productive day having a full productive day [Music] [Music] [Music] and then like five six p.m you do get a and then like five six p.m you do get a and then like five six p.m you do get a nap and then you do something really nap and then you do something really nap and then you do something really stressful after that like really hyper stressful after that like really hyper stressful after that like really hyper like like a show but if I do like I like like a show but if I do like I like like a show but if I do like I really like doing podcasts like late at really like doing podcasts like late at really like doing podcasts like late at night night night after a nap I think I fucked up my after a nap I think I fucked up my after a nap I think I fucked up my podcast Rhythm because we're doing them podcast Rhythm because we're doing them podcast Rhythm because we're doing them in the day yeah and so sometimes I'm in the day yeah and so sometimes I'm in the day yeah and so sometimes I'm just like like if I work out in the just like like if I work out in the just like like if I work out in the morning I'm good on a podcast but if I morning I'm good on a podcast but if I morning I'm good on a podcast but if I don't work out I suck on a podcast and don't work out I suck on a podcast and don't work out I suck on a podcast and I'm just like huh yeah yeah that's cool I'm just like huh yeah yeah that's cool I'm just like huh yeah yeah that's cool no I I I'm no I I I'm no I I I'm my favorite is I used to do this a lot I my favorite is I used to do this a lot I my favorite is I used to do this a lot I haven't done it in a while is haven't done it in a while is haven't done it in a while is uh full busy day nap at home box of wine uh full busy day nap at home box of wine uh full busy day nap at home box of wine on the treadmill on the treadmill on the treadmill and do that until like midnight watching and do that until like midnight watching and do that until like midnight watching TV box one box of wine on a treadmill TV box one box of wine on a treadmill TV box one box of wine on a treadmill it's the best height weight how are you it's the best height weight how are you it's the best height weight how are you sipping it Jake you have a glass but you sipping it Jake you have a glass but you sipping it Jake you have a glass but you have a box the box fits on the corner on have a box the box fits on the corner on have a box the box fits on the corner on the treadmill so it's got a little the treadmill so it's got a little the treadmill so it's got a little spigot yeah and you sit there and just spigot yeah and you sit there and just spigot yeah and you sit there and just put on like Guys Grocery Games or like

put on like Guys Grocery Games or like put on like Guys Grocery Games or like just something it's like a you walking just something it's like a you walking just something it's like a you walking or are you running I walk I walk in like or are you running I walk I walk in like or are you running I walk I walk in like a three five so what will happen is if a three five so what will happen is if a three five so what will happen is if you started a three start a three casual you started a three start a three casual you started a three start a three casual walk 20 minutes you're getting a mile in walk 20 minutes you're getting a mile in walk 20 minutes you're getting a mile in and then you and you're gonna feel loose and then you and you're gonna feel loose and then you and you're gonna feel loose get up to a three five get up to a three five get up to a three five you can do seven miles on these things you can do seven miles on these things you can do seven miles on these things and just and just and you're just and just and just and you're just and just and just and you're just enjoying your night especially like my enjoying your night especially like my enjoying your night especially like my wife back in the day when we lived in wife back in the day when we lived in wife back in the day when we lived in our old house my wife would come into our old house my wife would come into our old house my wife would come into the man cave and she said on the couch the man cave and she said on the couch the man cave and she said on the couch and we watch TV together yeah and like and we watch TV together yeah and like and we watch TV together yeah and like watch Game of Thrones and use like for watch Game of Thrones and use like for watch Game of Thrones and use like for an hour and you just get on the an hour and you just get on the an hour and you just get on the treadmill and do it oh man I I loved I treadmill and do it oh man I I loved I treadmill and do it oh man I I loved I haven't done that as much lately because haven't done that as much lately because haven't done that as much lately because that was the fucking you can lose that was the fucking you can lose that was the fucking you can lose yourself you can forget yourself you yourself you can forget yourself you yourself you can forget yourself you forget you're on a treadmill and you forget you're on a treadmill and you forget you're on a treadmill and you just are like walking and you're just are like walking and you're just are like walking and you're sweating and you're and you're having sweating and you're and you're having sweating and you're and you're having wine and then at certain points you're wine and then at certain points you're wine and then at certain points you're like like like like uh you like you you start jogging like uh you like you you start jogging like uh you like you you start jogging especially like we were watching uh not especially like we were watching uh not especially like we were watching uh not All Quiet on the rest in front what's All Quiet on the rest in front what's All Quiet on the rest in front what's the one where they've gotta they've got the one where they've gotta they've got the one where they've gotta they've got to get the message to the front line to get the message to the front line to get the message to the front line I would run like I was in World War II I would run like I was in World War II I would run like I was in World War II yeah a run when they would run and it yeah a run when they would run and it yeah a run when they would run and it was fucking awesome and I would like was fucking awesome and I would like was fucking awesome and I would like because they were doing drinks they'd be because they were doing drinks they'd be because they were doing drinks they'd be like take a drink you gotta run up there like take a drink you gotta run up there like take a drink you gotta run up there and be like okay and be like okay and be like okay yeah I'm really into I'm really into yeah I'm really into I'm really into yeah I'm really into I'm really into History Podcast right now like I've been History Podcast right now like I've been History Podcast right now like I've been in them for a while 20th century or in them for a while 20th century or in them for a while 20th century or everything everything everything I everything everything everything I everything everything everything I listened to listened to listened to um um um uh uh uh was it Marcus Aurelius and Cleopatra was it Marcus Aurelius and Cleopatra was it Marcus Aurelius and Cleopatra today uh I know the podcasts are like today uh I know the podcasts are like today uh I know the podcasts are like you know just so you know Cleopatra you know just so you know Cleopatra you know just so you know Cleopatra wasn't as hot as everyone says I was wasn't as hot as everyone says I was wasn't as hot as everyone says I was like why are you saying that yeah tell like why are you saying that yeah tell like why are you saying that yeah tell me she's a six she looks like Snooki

me she's a six she looks like Snooki me she's a six she looks like Snooki yeah like why let me let me dream that yeah like why let me let me dream that yeah like why let me let me dream that she looks like Kim Kardashian yeah and she looks like Kim Kardashian yeah and she looks like Kim Kardashian yeah and then uh I listened to that one today I then uh I listened to that one today I then uh I listened to that one today I listened to World War II a lot oh a lot listened to World War II a lot oh a lot listened to World War II a lot oh a lot of books on World War II a lot of uh of books on World War II a lot of uh of books on World War II a lot of uh podcasts about it what's your favorite podcasts about it what's your favorite podcasts about it what's your favorite theater the Pacific or or european theater the Pacific or or european theater the Pacific or or european uh no European Pacific well because my uh no European Pacific well because my uh no European Pacific well because my family's so much of it has died in that family's so much of it has died in that family's so much of it has died in that theater so this person so much of it I theater so this person so much of it I theater so this person so much of it I hate this sound cliche like a Marlon hate this sound cliche like a Marlon hate this sound cliche like a Marlon Schwarzenegger in an 80s movie but it's Schwarzenegger in an 80s movie but it's Schwarzenegger in an 80s movie but it's personal well you know what I find funny personal well you know what I find funny personal well you know what I find funny about that is Lennon about that is Lennon about that is Lennon who's Lenin right uh John Lennon no no who's Lenin right uh John Lennon no no who's Lenin right uh John Lennon no no no one was it Lennon was World War II no one was it Lennon was World War II no one was it Lennon was World War II right or was it Stalin Stalin Stalin right or was it Stalin Stalin Stalin right or was it Stalin Stalin Stalin Stalin thought him and Hitler would be Stalin thought him and Hitler would be Stalin thought him and Hitler would be friends yeah I think that's so cute that friends yeah I think that's so cute that friends yeah I think that's so cute that he was like we're gonna be buddies yeah he was like we're gonna be buddies yeah he was like we're gonna be buddies yeah like we're boys yeah and then Hitler's like we're boys yeah and then Hitler's like we're boys yeah and then Hitler's like oh fuck you I'm Hitler bro this is like oh fuck you I'm Hitler bro this is like oh fuck you I'm Hitler bro this is what I do well at first he was like what I do well at first he was like what I do well at first he was like fucking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll fucking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll fucking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll be friends yeah yeah sure sure and then be friends yeah yeah sure sure and then be friends yeah yeah sure sure and then call me call me better yet I'll show up call me call me better yet I'll show up call me call me better yet I'll show up in Winter how's that sound yeah that uh in Winter how's that sound yeah that uh in Winter how's that sound yeah that uh that uh I find that I find all of that that uh I find that I find all of that that uh I find that I find all of that so fascinating when I was a kid I had a so fascinating when I was a kid I had a so fascinating when I was a kid I had a hard time understanding how because we hard time understanding how because we hard time understanding how because we were always at war with Russia when I were always at war with Russia when I were always at war with Russia when I was a kid and I had a hard time was a kid and I had a hard time was a kid and I had a hard time understanding how we could be on the understanding how we could be on the understanding how we could be on the same team as Russia in World War II same team as Russia in World War II same team as Russia in World War II and I was like wait how did that turn and I was like wait how did that turn and I was like wait how did that turn South and then you guys listen to South and then you guys listen to South and then you guys listen to podcasts yeah I'm that podcasts yeah I'm that podcasts yeah I'm that all of that all of that like all of that all of that like all of that all of that like all of the World War II I got really

all of the World War II I got really all of the World War II I got really into the Pacific shit for a while but into the Pacific shit for a while but into the Pacific shit for a while but I'm really deep in the I'm really deep in the I'm really deep in the in in in in the whole we we went to Normandy from in the whole we we went to Normandy from in the whole we we went to Normandy from The Cliffs of Dover and to think so The Cliffs of Dover and to think so The Cliffs of Dover and to think so that's the fucking beach that's the fucking beach that's the fucking beach that's the fucking beach oh shit this is that's the fucking beach oh shit this is that's the fucking beach oh shit this is cold as fuck these dudes jumped in ice cold as fuck these dudes jumped in ice cold as fuck these dudes jumped in ice cold water yeah and this isn't like a cold water yeah and this isn't like a cold water yeah and this isn't like a cool beach like this is cool beach like this is cool beach like this is and it's just so insane and it's just so insane and it's just so insane to and then to see like the the it's to and then to see like the the it's to and then to see like the the it's pretty intense I don't know why I got pretty intense I don't know why I got pretty intense I don't know why I got into history late in life I wasn't I was into history late in life I wasn't I was into history late in life I wasn't I was kind of into it but I'm really into it kind of into it but I'm really into it kind of into it but I'm really into it now and I love just learning a little now and I love just learning a little now and I love just learning a little something about something about something about you know today was I listened to like you know today was I listened to like you know today was I listened to like the noise or has a great history stuff the noise or has a great history stuff the noise or has a great history stuff it's like History For Dummies I think it's like History For Dummies I think it's like History For Dummies I think like I get to I can't listen to the like I get to I can't listen to the like I get to I can't listen to the really smart stuff starts losing me too really smart stuff starts losing me too really smart stuff starts losing me too many names and I'm gone yeah well Dan many names and I'm gone yeah well Dan many names and I'm gone yeah well Dan Carlin is always the best Carlin is always the best Carlin is always the best your podcast with Dan Carlin yeah was so your podcast with Dan Carlin yeah was so your podcast with Dan Carlin yeah was so fucking good he is fucking good he is fucking good he is he is I mean I only know about Martin he is I mean I only know about Martin he is I mean I only know about Martin Luther because of Dan Carlin I only know Luther because of Dan Carlin I only know Luther because of Dan Carlin I only know like I would have I made a joke about like I would have I made a joke about like I would have I made a joke about some Lutheran the other day some Lutheran the other day some Lutheran the other day and everyone laughed and I was like did and everyone laughed and I was like did and everyone laughed and I was like did you guys listen to the same podcast I you guys listen to the same podcast I you guys listen to the same podcast I did because I just am quoting Dan Carlin did because I just am quoting Dan Carlin did because I just am quoting Dan Carlin uh that his podcast I mean we all quoted uh that his podcast I mean we all quoted uh that his podcast I mean we all quoted the same shit about uh Genghis Khan the same shit about uh Genghis Khan the same shit about uh Genghis Khan about how he could shoot a dove off a about how he could shoot a dove off a about how he could shoot a dove off a horseback but we knew that all four

horseback but we knew that all four horseback but we knew that all four hoofs had to be off the ground at the hoofs had to be off the ground at the hoofs had to be off the ground at the same time they shot they would sometimes same time they shot they would sometimes same time they shot they would sometimes take their meat and stick it under their take their meat and stick it under their take their meat and stick it under their Saddles and that I mean Dan Carlin is he Saddles and that I mean Dan Carlin is he Saddles and that I mean Dan Carlin is he is the motherfucker yeah God those were is the motherfucker yeah God those were is the motherfucker yeah God those were man discovering podcasts was the coolest man discovering podcasts was the coolest man discovering podcasts was the coolest time of my life and the interesting time of my life and the interesting time of my life and the interesting thing about him is his audio thing about him is his audio thing about him is his audio and so this is the voice and so this is the voice and so this is the voice so for me I mean everybody has a story so for me I mean everybody has a story so for me I mean everybody has a story with a prostitute in a motel with a prostitute in a motel with a prostitute in a motel Dan Carlin was my prostitute in the most Dan Carlin was my prostitute in the most Dan Carlin was my prostitute in the most I invited him to a motel I don't even I invited him to a motel I don't even I invited him to a motel I don't even remember in the middle of nowhere he remember in the middle of nowhere he remember in the middle of nowhere he shows up with that voice shows up with that voice shows up with that voice and the rest the rest is history so good and the rest the rest is history so good and the rest the rest is history so good things that we'll never know what things that we'll never know what things that we'll never know what happened oh boy did he like no just happened oh boy did he like no just happened oh boy did he like no just kidding I'm I'm really running yeah but kidding I'm I'm really running yeah but kidding I'm I'm really running yeah but yes we did we got along with I mean he's yes we did we got along with I mean he's yes we did we got along with I mean he's an incredibly kind and thoughtful person an incredibly kind and thoughtful person an incredibly kind and thoughtful person constantly self-critical thinking he's constantly self-critical thinking he's constantly self-critical thinking he's not good enough he just works on those not good enough he just works on those not good enough he just works on those episodes forever forever and he just episodes forever forever and he just episodes forever forever and he just thinks that there's these uh just like thinks that there's these uh just like thinks that there's these uh just like with Goggins there's these with Goggins there's these with Goggins there's these other historians that I think like weigh other historians that I think like weigh other historians that I think like weigh on him like they're going to judge him on him like they're going to judge him on him like they're going to judge him or something like this in his mind I or something like this in his mind I or something like this in his mind I talked about I talked to it with him talked about I talked to it with him talked about I talked to it with him about Daniel Battalion and I guess about Daniel Battalion and I guess about Daniel Battalion and I guess his thing is he I get I guess his his his thing is he I get I guess his his his thing is he I get I guess his his hang up is Collins is he's not a he he's hang up is Collins is he's not a he he's hang up is Collins is he's not a he he's not like this like he doesn't feel like not like this like he doesn't feel like not like this like he doesn't feel like he's a real historian yeah but he is he's a real historian yeah but he is he's a real historian yeah but he is yeah yeah I mean it's the way he shares yeah yeah I mean it's the way he shares yeah yeah I mean it's the way he shares the story The Queen history teacher in

the story The Queen history teacher in the story The Queen history teacher in seventh grade who's a con artist and he seventh grade who's a con artist and he seventh grade who's a con artist and he came and taught her seventh grade and it came and taught her seventh grade and it came and taught her seventh grade and it was the whole con artist all he taught was the whole con artist all he taught was the whole con artist all he taught us about was barnstorming barnstorming us about was barnstorming barnstorming us about was barnstorming barnstorming and the JFK assassination and the JFK assassination and the JFK assassination I walked away having such an I walked away having such an I walked away having such an appreciation for barnstorming a very appreciation for barnstorming a very appreciation for barnstorming a very small blip on Americana but I know a lot small blip on Americana but I know a lot small blip on Americana but I know a lot about barnstorming because of this guy about barnstorming because of this guy about barnstorming because of this guy and he because he was passionate about and he because he was passionate about and he because he was passionate about barnstorming it was a funny seventh barnstorming it was a funny seventh barnstorming it was a funny seventh grade history class I've ever taken my grade history class I've ever taken my grade history class I've ever taken my entire life entire life entire life uh you mentioned tour bus uh what's the uh you mentioned tour bus uh what's the uh you mentioned tour bus uh what's the best road trip you've been on have you best road trip you've been on have you best road trip you've been on have you have you driven across the country just have you driven across the country just have you driven across the country just you no you no you no we had one road trip in college we had one road trip in college we had one road trip in college where a bar had burned down and we found where a bar had burned down and we found where a bar had burned down and we found out that the alcohol was still in the out that the alcohol was still in the out that the alcohol was still in the bar yeah so we took my Jetta yeah over bar yeah so we took my Jetta yeah over bar yeah so we took my Jetta yeah over to the bar and we emptied out the bar of to the bar and we emptied out the bar of to the bar and we emptied out the bar of all the burnt up liquor we didn't know all the burnt up liquor we didn't know all the burnt up liquor we didn't know what anything was what anything was what anything was let's go into the trunk with no clothes let's go into the trunk with no clothes let's go into the trunk with no clothes like no no clothes and we said let's like no no clothes and we said let's like no no clothes and we said let's just start driving and we drove from Tallahassee and ended and we drove from Tallahassee and ended up in West Virginia and just just drove up in West Virginia and just just drove up in West Virginia and just just drove just drove it was like five dudes we just drove it was like five dudes we just drove it was like five dudes we drank one person drove I I wasn't a big drank one person drove I I wasn't a big drank one person drove I I wasn't a big and this I was going crazy I wasn't a and this I was going crazy I wasn't a and this I was going crazy I wasn't a big drinker in college until I went to big drinker in college until I went to big drinker in college until I went to Russia Russia Russia and so I drove the majority of the way and so I drove the majority of the way and so I drove the majority of the way and then we we get somewhere and then we we get somewhere and then we we get somewhere and and we'd get a hotel room and and we'd get a hotel room and and we'd get a hotel room and it was one of the most epic fucking and it was one of the most epic fucking and it was one of the most epic fucking weekends of just debauchery and chaos weekends of just debauchery and chaos weekends of just debauchery and chaos and I think we took mushrooms

and I think we took mushrooms and I think we took mushrooms and we we we uh went down a river in and we we we uh went down a river in and we we we uh went down a river in tubes so it's mostly about the bond tubes so it's mostly about the bond tubes so it's mostly about the bond between the five people versus like between the five people versus like between the five people versus like throwing yourself into meeting like throwing yourself into meeting like throwing yourself into meeting like strangers and this kind of stuff yeah strangers and this kind of stuff yeah strangers and this kind of stuff yeah and it was when it was when I was like I and it was when it was when I was like I and it was when it was when I was like I was trying to be a poet at that time and was trying to be a poet at that time and was trying to be a poet at that time and so like we were actual poetry yeah it so like we were actual poetry yeah it so like we were actual poetry yeah it was a really bad part of my life I was was a really bad part of my life I was was a really bad part of my life I was just we were like it's like music is just we were like it's like music is just we were like it's like music is there too somewhere yeah I tried to be there too somewhere yeah I tried to be there too somewhere yeah I tried to be in a band too that didn't work out the in a band too that didn't work out the in a band too that didn't work out the way I wanted it to I just was never I way I wanted it to I just was never I way I wanted it to I just was never I always was I was never the I'm not a always was I was never the I'm not a always was I was never the I'm not a good serious person like I'm a good good serious person like I'm a good good serious person like I'm a good funny person I'm good to be the fool but funny person I'm good to be the fool but funny person I'm good to be the fool but I'm not good when I try to be serious it I'm not good when I try to be serious it I'm not good when I try to be serious it looks foolish and so even like you know looks foolish and so even like you know looks foolish and so even like you know someone said showed me throwing out the someone said showed me throwing out the someone said showed me throwing out the first pitch the other day as something first pitch the other day as something first pitch the other day as something and all I could see is my gut flying and all I could see is my gut flying and all I could see is my gut flying everywhere and I was like that's why it everywhere and I was like that's why it everywhere and I was like that's why it went viral I was like fuck I thought it went viral I was like fuck I thought it went viral I was like fuck I thought it was my throwing Style was my throwing Style was my throwing Style that was a pretty epic one the best road that was a pretty epic one the best road that was a pretty epic one the best road trips I ever took was during the trips I ever took was during the trips I ever took was during the pandemic during the pandemic when we pandemic during the pandemic when we pandemic during the pandemic when we were when when we would we're doing that were when when we would we're doing that were when when we would we're doing that drive-in movie theater tour drive-in movie theater tour drive-in movie theater tour I created a drive-in movie theater tour I created a drive-in movie theater tour I created a drive-in movie theater tour when no one was working and the very when no one was working and the very when no one was working and the very first one we all no one had left our first one we all no one had left our first one we all no one had left our houses we all went to my house we got my houses we all went to my house we got my houses we all went to my house we got my tour bus we had just wrapped the day the tour bus we had just wrapped the day the tour bus we had just wrapped the day the tour bus showed up we just wrapped the tour bus showed up we just wrapped the tour bus showed up we just wrapped the cabin just wrapped doing the cabin on cabin just wrapped doing the cabin on cabin just wrapped doing the cabin on Netflix and we got covered tested we got Netflix and we got covered tested we got Netflix and we got covered tested we got in the tour bus and we said let's create in the tour bus and we said let's create in the tour bus and we said let's create our bubble and stay safe and that night our bubble and stay safe and that night our bubble and stay safe and that night we drove I think just outside uh we drove I think just outside uh we drove I think just outside uh gallop and we stayed in a and when no

gallop and we stayed in a and when no gallop and we stayed in a and when no one had been outside and we stayed at a one had been outside and we stayed at a one had been outside and we stayed at a at a a KOA camp on arrival and we at a a KOA camp on arrival and we at a a KOA camp on arrival and we watched thunderstorms come in on a lake watched thunderstorms come in on a lake watched thunderstorms come in on a lake and we were all smoking cigars and and we were all smoking cigars and and we were all smoking cigars and drinking ipas and and it was fucking drinking ipas and and it was fucking drinking ipas and and it was fucking Matt and that whole road trip we Road Matt and that whole road trip we Road Matt and that whole road trip we Road tripped across the country to start the tripped across the country to start the tripped across the country to start the tours and then we just and we were tours and then we just and we were tours and then we just and we were outside for the first time when we were outside for the first time when we were outside for the first time when we were and it was that period of my life I'm so and it was that period of my life I'm so and it was that period of my life I'm so grateful I didn't make a ton of money so grateful I didn't make a ton of money so grateful I didn't make a ton of money so we had a big crew and I made sure I was we had a big crew and I made sure I was we had a big crew and I made sure I was trying to make sure everyone because no trying to make sure everyone because no trying to make sure everyone because no one had paid bills in a while but that one had paid bills in a while but that one had paid bills in a while but that fucking tour was the funnest we took up fucking tour was the funnest we took up fucking tour was the funnest we took up pickleball we took up disc golf and pickleball we took up disc golf and pickleball we took up disc golf and everything was wide open in the middle everything was wide open in the middle everything was wide open in the middle of the country you could do things but of the country you could do things but of the country you could do things but we were still in our bubble and we lived we were still in our bubble and we lived we were still in our bubble and we lived in that tour bus and at the at night we in that tour bus and at the at night we in that tour bus and at the at night we just get back in the tour bus by just get back in the tour bus by just get back in the tour bus by ourselves and get fucking wasted and and ourselves and get fucking wasted and and ourselves and get fucking wasted and and I mean that fucking run it'll nothing I mean that fucking run it'll nothing I mean that fucking run it'll nothing will ever be like that yeah because will ever be like that yeah because will ever be like that yeah because you like rediscovered the humanity the you like rediscovered the humanity the you like rediscovered the humanity the camaraderie because uh the pandemic kind camaraderie because uh the pandemic kind camaraderie because uh the pandemic kind of killed that really suffocated us from of killed that really suffocated us from of killed that really suffocated us from like their basic connection yeah and like their basic connection yeah and like their basic connection yeah and then and and there was this you always had an anxiety attack halfway you always had an anxiety attack halfway through that you got Cove and this one through that you got Cove and this one through that you got Cove and this one you know kova was killing people and you you know kova was killing people and you you know kova was killing people and you were like I know I've got coveted and were like I know I've got coveted and were like I know I've got coveted and then and then we come in then and then we come in then and then we come in to Sedona you know this is also why I to Sedona you know this is also why I to Sedona you know this is also why I didn't make a ton of money we'd come didn't make a ton of money we'd come didn't make a ton of money we'd come into Sedona and we get a house in Sedona into Sedona and we get a house in Sedona into Sedona and we get a house in Sedona for five days an Airbnb and we'd all for five days an Airbnb and we'd all for five days an Airbnb and we'd all isolate there before we went home to our isolate there before we went home to our isolate there before we went home to our families yeah

families yeah families yeah I remember I remember the first time we I remember I remember the first time we I remember I remember the first time we did it we didn't isolate we just pulled did it we didn't isolate we just pulled did it we didn't isolate we just pulled back into LA and all our families were back into LA and all our families were back into LA and all our families were freaked out so I had to live on the tour freaked out so I had to live on the tour freaked out so I had to live on the tour bus in at a different house and it was bus in at a different house and it was bus in at a different house and it was Fourth of July and I came in and they Fourth of July and I came in and they Fourth of July and I came in and they were doing an egg toss and they're like were doing an egg toss and they're like were doing an egg toss and they're like well you can do an egg toss they need to well you can do an egg toss they need to well you can do an egg toss they need to stop at my anxiety guts you can do an stop at my anxiety guts you can do an stop at my anxiety guts you can do an egg toss with their daughter Isla so egg toss with their daughter Isla so egg toss with their daughter Isla so Island I did an egg toss and we fucking Island I did an egg toss and we fucking Island I did an egg toss and we fucking got it to like legit like 40 fucking got it to like legit like 40 fucking got it to like legit like 40 fucking feet where I was throwing overhand feet where I was throwing overhand feet where I was throwing overhand lobbing them to her lobbing them to her lobbing them to her and the Egg cracked in her hands and it and the Egg cracked in her hands and it and the Egg cracked in her hands and it broke over her face and I got in bed broke over her face and I got in bed broke over her face and I got in bed that night high on weed that night high on weed that night high on weed fucking drunk and I went what if I gave fucking drunk and I went what if I gave fucking drunk and I went what if I gave my daughter kovid from an egg toss I go my daughter kovid from an egg toss I go my daughter kovid from an egg toss I go that would be the most horrific way to that would be the most horrific way to that would be the most horrific way to kill a child yeah she got it from an egg kill a child yeah she got it from an egg kill a child yeah she got it from an egg toss it broken her face her dad did toss it broken her face her dad did toss it broken her face her dad did covet yeah I mean that's the scariest covet yeah I mean that's the scariest covet yeah I mean that's the scariest thing about kovid I think is not you thing about kovid I think is not you thing about kovid I think is not you dying but because of you somebody else dying but because of you somebody else dying but because of you somebody else dies oh my God that feel that's that dies oh my God that feel that's that dies oh my God that feel that's that that's the fear I think that really like that's the fear I think that really like that's the fear I think that really like took hold on people that's why they're took hold on people that's why they're took hold on people that's why they're they were way more cautious than perhaps they were way more cautious than perhaps they were way more cautious than perhaps they needed to be it's just like I don't they needed to be it's just like I don't they needed to be it's just like I don't want to be the guy that's responsible want to be the guy that's responsible want to be the guy that's responsible for killing somebody I love or somebody for killing somebody I love or somebody for killing somebody I love or somebody that somebody else loves but Leanne gave that somebody else loves but Leanne gave that somebody else loves but Leanne gave everyone in our family covet she came up everyone in our family covet she came up everyone in our family covet she came up to me and she gave me a hug yeah after to me and she gave me a hug yeah after to me and she gave me a hug yeah after Christmas Christmas Christmas and gives me a hug I said what's the and gives me a hug I said what's the and gives me a hug I said what's the matter she goes I think I have coveted I matter she goes I think I have coveted I matter she goes I think I have coveted I go bitch yeah the fuck you doing yeah go bitch yeah the fuck you doing yeah go bitch yeah the fuck you doing yeah back it up fauci like fucking and then

back it up fauci like fucking and then back it up fauci like fucking and then she we went then we went oh and then and she we went then we went oh and then and she we went then we went oh and then and then she had it and it went away and then she had it and it went away and then she had it and it went away and we're all fine and we're like okay I'm we're all fine and we're like okay I'm we're all fine and we're like okay I'm like we can still go to Park City so we like we can still go to Park City so we like we can still go to Park City so we all go to Park City then Georgia gets all go to Park City then Georgia gets all go to Park City then Georgia gets covered and then Georgia starts crying covered and then Georgia starts crying covered and then Georgia starts crying and she goes I think I gave you covet and she goes I think I gave you covet and she goes I think I gave you covet and I was like I'm fine she goes you're and I was like I'm fine she goes you're and I was like I'm fine she goes you're at high risk and I'm like what she's at high risk and I'm like what she's at high risk and I'm like what she's like you're a fat alcoholic I'm like like you're a fat alcoholic I'm like like you're a fat alcoholic I'm like whoa easy where the fuck what about whoa easy where the fuck what about whoa easy where the fuck what about feelings yeah and then Georgia got feelings yeah and then Georgia got feelings yeah and then Georgia got covered me and I live are still in Park covered me and I live are still in Park covered me and I live are still in Park City Leanne had it my tour bus came up City Leanne had it my tour bus came up City Leanne had it my tour bus came up picked George up Georgia land took him picked George up Georgia land took him picked George up Georgia land took him back to L.A and I was Island over there back to L.A and I was Island over there back to L.A and I was Island over there and I tested and then we get on the and I tested and then we get on the and I tested and then we get on the plane and I I cough and Isla's got her plane and I I cough and Isla's got her plane and I I cough and Isla's got her mask on and I just looks at me you know mask on and I just looks at me you know mask on and I just looks at me you know the best the one thing we miss are the the best the one thing we miss are the the best the one thing we miss are the eyes over masks yeah the uh the yeah and eyes over masks yeah the uh the yeah and eyes over masks yeah the uh the yeah and then we get home and I had coveted and I then we get home and I had coveted and I then we get home and I had coveted and I was like if you gave me fucking covet was like if you gave me fucking covet was like if you gave me fucking covet and then she never got covered she never and then she never got covered she never and then she never got covered she never got covered got covered got covered uh you mentioned ipas what's the lay of uh you mentioned ipas what's the lay of uh you mentioned ipas what's the lay of the land of great beers the land of great beers the land of great beers in um in this expansive world of ours I in um in this expansive world of ours I in um in this expansive world of ours I like pilsners I'm a Pilsner guy I'm an like pilsners I'm a Pilsner guy I'm an like pilsners I'm a Pilsner guy I'm an ice cold beer guy ice cold pilsner I ice cold beer guy ice cold pilsner I ice cold beer guy ice cold pilsner I like an ice cold beer I like an ice like an ice cold beer I like an ice like an ice cold beer I like an ice call one of the best beer buzzes I ever call one of the best beer buzzes I ever call one of the best beer buzzes I ever had had had is uh is uh is uh we had bought a new house but we weren't we had bought a new house but we weren't we had bought a new house but we weren't building it and over covered I didn't building it and over covered I didn't building it and over covered I didn't drink for like three months four months drink for like three months four months drink for like three months four months until we decided to go back out on tour until we decided to go back out on tour until we decided to go back out on tour and we figured that out and I was in the and we figured that out and I was in the and we figured that out and I was in the backyard and Leanne came back with like backyard and Leanne came back with like backyard and Leanne came back with like two tall boy German pilsners and cracked two tall boy German pilsners and cracked two tall boy German pilsners and cracked them she goes let's have a beer and I them she goes let's have a beer and I them she goes let's have a beer and I was like fuck yeah was like fuck yeah was like fuck yeah and man that second that beer buzz is

and man that second that beer buzz is and man that second that beer buzz is different than anything yeah cause the different than anything yeah cause the different than anything yeah cause the second it it touches you you feel the second it it touches you you feel the second it it touches you you feel the Sparkle and you're just like Sparkle and you're just like Sparkle and you're just like yeah baby I'm back and then she's like yeah baby I'm back and then she's like yeah baby I'm back and then she's like you want another one I'm like fuck yeah you want another one I'm like fuck yeah you want another one I'm like fuck yeah and then we have another one and then and then we have another one and then and then we have another one and then and that beer buzz is especially and that beer buzz is especially and that beer buzz is especially afternoon beer buzz is just so pretty afternoon beer buzz is just so pretty afternoon beer buzz is just so pretty it's different than a night beer buzz it's different than a night beer buzz it's different than a night beer buzz night beer buzz is like I guess we'll night beer buzz is like I guess we'll night beer buzz is like I guess we'll have a beer and then I'll have a couple have a beer and then I'll have a couple have a beer and then I'll have a couple I gotta go to work tomorrow all right I gotta go to work tomorrow all right I gotta go to work tomorrow all right but that afternoon irresponsible beer but that afternoon irresponsible beer but that afternoon irresponsible beer buzz yeah buzz yeah buzz yeah pilsner pilsner there's I don't mind an pilsner pilsner there's I don't mind an pilsner pilsner there's I don't mind an IPA but it's got to be out of It's gotta IPA but it's got to be out of It's gotta IPA but it's got to be out of It's gotta I gotta be at somewhere I gotta be at I gotta be at somewhere I gotta be at I gotta be at somewhere I gotta be at somewhere like they gotta have an IP somewhere like they gotta have an IP somewhere like they gotta have an IP like I like a local IPA it's got to be like I like a local IPA it's got to be like I like a local IPA it's got to be food involved and then I'm enjoying an food involved and then I'm enjoying an food involved and then I'm enjoying an IPA I I threw up an IPA in a bathtub and IPA I I threw up an IPA in a bathtub and IPA I I threw up an IPA in a bathtub and uh Salt Lake City one time uh Salt Lake City one time uh Salt Lake City one time it was like what do you mean oh you it was like what do you mean oh you it was like what do you mean oh you throw up in the bathtub okay no no I was throw up in the bathtub okay no no I was throw up in the bathtub okay no no I was drinking in the bathtub like bathtub drinking in the bathtub like bathtub drinking in the bathtub like bathtub with some water in it or no no no no no with some water in it or no no no no no with some water in it or no no no no no you're sitting in the bathtub no I'm you're sitting in the bathtub no I'm you're sitting in the bathtub no I'm getting ready to take a shower and I had getting ready to take a shower and I had getting ready to take a shower and I had a growler of IPA yeah it's about six in a growler of IPA yeah it's about six in a growler of IPA yeah it's about six in the morning yeah I have to fly that day the morning yeah I have to fly that day the morning yeah I have to fly that day to Vegas to jump off the stratosphere to Vegas to jump off the stratosphere to Vegas to jump off the stratosphere yeah all I need is a little bit of a yeah all I need is a little bit of a yeah all I need is a little bit of a buzz to get myself on this fucking plane buzz to get myself on this fucking plane buzz to get myself on this fucking plane yeah I have anxiety going through my yeah I have anxiety going through my yeah I have anxiety going through my fucking head because I'm jump I'm gonna fucking head because I'm jump I'm gonna fucking head because I'm jump I'm gonna be the first person to jump off be the first person to jump off be the first person to jump off stratosphere stratosphere stratosphere and so I'm drinking an IPA out of a and so I'm drinking an IPA out of a and so I'm drinking an IPA out of a growler in a bathtub at six in the growler in a bathtub at six in the growler in a bathtub at six in the morning morning morning and it just didn't sit right and I threw and it just didn't sit right and I threw and it just didn't sit right and I threw it up and I was off ipas for like 10 it up and I was off ipas for like 10 it up and I was off ipas for like 10 fucking years yeah I didn't have another fucking years yeah I didn't have another fucking years yeah I didn't have another IPA until I was like 46 because I was

IPA until I was like 46 because I was IPA until I was like 46 because I was like all I could think about was like all I could think about was like all I could think about was throwing up that IPA in a bathtub in a throwing up that IPA in a bathtub in a throwing up that IPA in a bathtub in a shower and being like I'm gonna throw up shower and being like I'm gonna throw up shower and being like I'm gonna throw up thinking about it but yeah I don't I thinking about it but yeah I don't I thinking about it but yeah I don't I didn't fuck with IPS for a while and didn't fuck with IPS for a while and didn't fuck with IPS for a while and then during the pandemic I got it I got then during the pandemic I got it I got then during the pandemic I got it I got back into ipas I was that way with Jack back into ipas I was that way with Jack back into ipas I was that way with Jack and Coke Jack Daniels and Coke really and Coke Jack Daniels and Coke really and Coke Jack Daniels and Coke really got so drunk many many years ago that got so drunk many many years ago that got so drunk many many years ago that just couldn't look at it I can't touch I just couldn't look at it I can't touch I just couldn't look at it I can't touch I can't touch uh uh what's Janice Joplin's can't touch uh uh what's Janice Joplin's can't touch uh uh what's Janice Joplin's drink Southern Comfort I can't say drink Southern Comfort I can't say drink Southern Comfort I can't say Southern Comfort he just drink it Southern Comfort he just drink it Southern Comfort he just drink it straight uh well it was Southern straight uh well it was Southern straight uh well it was Southern Conference is at 40 that's hard no it's Conference is at 40 that's hard no it's Conference is at 40 that's hard no it's almost like a liqueur honestly it's almost like a liqueur honestly it's almost like a liqueur honestly it's really sweet yeah Jack Jack double Jack really sweet yeah Jack Jack double Jack really sweet yeah Jack Jack double Jack on the Rocks lots of rocks yeah I mean I on the Rocks lots of rocks yeah I mean I on the Rocks lots of rocks yeah I mean I had a quote that I got a video that went had a quote that I got a video that went had a quote that I got a video that went viral about I'll never quit drinking viral about I'll never quit drinking viral about I'll never quit drinking yeah and uh I have not gotten on a plane yeah and uh I have not gotten on a plane yeah and uh I have not gotten on a plane since that without having a flight since that without having a flight since that without having a flight attendant not even ask what I want walk attendant not even ask what I want walk attendant not even ask what I want walk up with a double Jack on the Rocks lots up with a double Jack on the Rocks lots up with a double Jack on the Rocks lots of rocks I mean it happens so on times I of rocks I mean it happens so on times I of rocks I mean it happens so on times I don't want to drink yeah I flew to don't want to drink yeah I flew to don't want to drink yeah I flew to Austin the other day I was like I'm not Austin the other day I was like I'm not Austin the other day I was like I'm not drinking on the plane because I felt drinking on the plane because I felt drinking on the plane because I felt sick yeah and man he walked up and he sick yeah and man he walked up and he sick yeah and man he walked up and he goes double Jack in the Rocks lots of goes double Jack in the Rocks lots of goes double Jack in the Rocks lots of rocks I was like fuck you know it yeah rocks I was like fuck you know it yeah rocks I was like fuck you know it yeah but yeah that's that's my drink uh but yeah that's that's my drink uh but yeah that's that's my drink uh uh wait what's your drink I thought uh wait what's your drink I thought uh wait what's your drink I thought you'd be a vodka guy you'd be a vodka guy you'd be a vodka guy well uh vodka I associate with a lot of well uh vodka I associate with a lot of well uh vodka I associate with a lot of moments in my life of happiness because moments in my life of happiness because moments in my life of happiness because vodka is associated with shots and vodka is associated with shots and vodka is associated with shots and camaraderie camaraderie camaraderie and there's Eastern Europe in general a

and there's Eastern Europe in general a and there's Eastern Europe in general a bunch of guys get together bunch of guys get together bunch of guys get together and you celebrate life intensely yeah and you celebrate life intensely yeah and you celebrate life intensely yeah people fight people just feel people people fight people just feel people people fight people just feel people experience life in a deep way just get experience life in a deep way just get experience life in a deep way just get too drunk for for like for a reason but too drunk for for like for a reason but too drunk for for like for a reason but I don't see that as like drinking I don't see that as like drinking I don't see that as like drinking drinking that's like a a journey towards drinking that's like a a journey towards drinking that's like a a journey towards a destination it's like uh to me a destination it's like uh to me a destination it's like uh to me drinking is like whiskey neat drinking is like whiskey neat drinking is like whiskey neat or beer like you said ice cold beer yeah or beer like you said ice cold beer yeah or beer like you said ice cold beer yeah there's that afternoon beer like for a there's that afternoon beer like for a there's that afternoon beer like for a person like me who's extremely person like me who's extremely person like me who's extremely regimented and disciplined sometimes regimented and disciplined sometimes regimented and disciplined sometimes you'll get the situation I just remember you'll get the situation I just remember you'll get the situation I just remember I mean just I remember uh there's a bar I mean just I remember uh there's a bar I mean just I remember uh there's a bar at MIT where I just remember in the at MIT where I just remember in the at MIT where I just remember in the afternoon it was like a business meeting afternoon it was like a business meeting afternoon it was like a business meeting I sat down we just started with a beer I sat down we just started with a beer I sat down we just started with a beer and they're like really crisply cold uh and they're like really crisply cold uh and they're like really crisply cold uh some kind of lager and then just one some kind of lager and then just one some kind of lager and then just one beer and two beers and all of a sudden beer and two beers and all of a sudden beer and two beers and all of a sudden you say fuck it let's just the rest of you say fuck it let's just the rest of you say fuck it let's just the rest of the day this is what this is and you the day this is what this is and you the day this is what this is and you said uh bright like you just life and said uh bright like you just life and said uh bright like you just life and nature is beautiful out there and you nature is beautiful out there and you nature is beautiful out there and you just said fuck it to all the meetings just said fuck it to all the meetings just said fuck it to all the meetings fuck it to everything else just the fuck it to everything else just the fuck it to everything else just the camaraderie the the just talking about camaraderie the the just talking about camaraderie the the just talking about life being silly being you know all of life being silly being you know all of life being silly being you know all of them see that see you're describing them see that see you're describing them see that see you're describing something I'll never get because I'm not something I'll never get because I'm not something I'll never get because I'm not regimented regimented regimented I would love I would love I would love I would love I would love I would love I would love I only for the moment that I would love I only for the moment that I would love I only for the moment that you get to have you get the most you get to have you get the most you get to have you get the most precious little Angel's breath that precious little Angel's breath that precious little Angel's breath that anyone's gonna get because you live this

anyone's gonna get because you live this anyone's gonna get because you live this life that's dialed in and it's scheduled life that's dialed in and it's scheduled life that's dialed in and it's scheduled and so when you say fuck it it's like and so when you say fuck it it's like and so when you say fuck it it's like that's like me doing coke like it's like that's like me doing coke like it's like that's like me doing coke like it's like oh fuck it like and you can just do that oh fuck it like and you can just do that oh fuck it like and you can just do that with beer that is fucking amazing I with beer that is fucking amazing I with beer that is fucking amazing I would love to live a regimented life would love to live a regimented life would love to live a regimented life just to get the chance to go just to get the chance to go just to get the chance to go hey guys I'm not performing surgery hey guys I'm not performing surgery hey guys I'm not performing surgery today fuck it today fuck it today fuck it hey guys yeah this this Bus full of kids hey guys yeah this this Bus full of kids hey guys yeah this this Bus full of kids kids gotta It's gotta drive itself home kids gotta It's gotta drive itself home kids gotta It's gotta drive itself home fuck it I couldn't even I couldn't even fuck it I couldn't even I couldn't even fuck it I couldn't even I couldn't even tell you you know what's so interesting tell you you know what's so interesting tell you you know what's so interesting about about about me and you was like yeah you know I'm a me and you was like yeah you know I'm a me and you was like yeah you know I'm a fan of yours I couldn't even I don't fan of yours I couldn't even I don't fan of yours I couldn't even I don't really know what AI is really know what AI is really know what AI is like other than like dildos or ar right like other than like dildos or ar right like other than like dildos or ar right like like like like if it has some Electronics in it like if it has some Electronics in it like if it has some Electronics in it Electronics it's it's no I don't think a Electronics it's it's no I don't think a Electronics it's it's no I don't think a dildo classifies as a robot because I dildo classifies as a robot because I dildo classifies as a robot because I thought that's how they were going to thought that's how they were going to thought that's how they were going to take over fucking mankind just well they take over fucking mankind just well they take over fucking mankind just well they start with these the fucking womanizer start with these the fucking womanizer start with these the fucking womanizer that knows how to eat a pussy and then that knows how to eat a pussy and then that knows how to eat a pussy and then they're like we don't need men anymore they're like we don't need men anymore they're like we don't need men anymore but like it's so interesting that I but like it's so interesting that I but like it's so interesting that I couldn't even like I can barely tell you couldn't even like I can barely tell you couldn't even like I can barely tell you what my dad does for a living he's a what my dad does for a living he's a what my dad does for a living he's a lawyer I could kind of like he's called lawyer I could kind of like he's called lawyer I could kind of like he's called me and said hey man you got to stop me and said hey man you got to stop me and said hey man you got to stop talking about what I do because you're talking about what I do because you're talking about what I do because you're not doing it right I go what do you mean not doing it right I go what do you mean not doing it right I go what do you mean he's like that's not whatever you're he's like that's not whatever you're he's like that's not whatever you're saying I do I don't do saying I do I don't do saying I do I don't do and so but like I couldn't even begin to and so but like I couldn't even begin to and so but like I couldn't even begin to explain your job to my daughter explain your job to my daughter explain your job to my daughter well I think there's the way you do the well I think there's the way you do the well I think there's the way you do the job which is the way you experience life job which is the way you experience life job which is the way you experience life the regimented just even just a the regimented just even just a the regimented just even just a nine-to-five job right you don't think nine-to-five job right you don't think nine-to-five job right you don't think you work nine to five no but I work much

you work nine to five no but I work much you work nine to five no but I work much more than that yeah but there's no more than that yeah but there's no more than that yeah but there's no every kind of lifestyle has its every kind of lifestyle has its every kind of lifestyle has its complexities I think nine to five means complexities I think nine to five means complexities I think nine to five means you have to wake up at a certain time you have to wake up at a certain time you have to wake up at a certain time every day do people tell you to pull it every day do people tell you to pull it every day do people tell you to pull it back and they're like hey you're working back and they're like hey you're working back and they're like hey you're working too hard yeah a lot of people what I too hard yeah a lot of people what I too hard yeah a lot of people what I want in my life what I love in my life want in my life what I love in my life want in my life what I love in my life especially people close to me are the especially people close to me are the especially people close to me are the ones that say work harder because ones that say work harder because ones that say work harder because everybody how do you get them how do you everybody how do you get them how do you everybody how do you get them how do you get them I don't have anyone in my life get them I don't have anyone in my life get them I don't have anyone in my life that does that everybody's always that does that everybody's always that does that everybody's always worried about me I don't worry about me worried about me I don't worry about me worried about me I don't worry about me everyone's always worried about me the everyone's always worried about me the everyone's always worried about me the only thing no one ever says if I showed only thing no one ever says if I showed only thing no one ever says if I showed you my DMs right now on my my text all you my DMs right now on my my text all you my DMs right now on my my text all it is is like hey man I'm worried about it is is like hey man I'm worried about it is is like hey man I'm worried about you yeah like Joe I I love Joe to death you yeah like Joe I I love Joe to death you yeah like Joe I I love Joe to death not once has he he always I don't know not once has he he always I don't know not once has he he always I don't know if you've seen the caring Joe eyes where if you've seen the caring Joe eyes where if you've seen the caring Joe eyes where like I'm worried about you yeah where like I'm worried about you yeah where like I'm worried about you yeah where it's like hmm and you're like yeah man don't do that and you're like yeah man don't do that he's like I'm worried about you and he's like I'm worried about you and he's like I'm worried about you and you're like don't fucking worry about me you're like don't fucking worry about me you're like don't fucking worry about me I'm working it's I'm just working I love I'm working it's I'm just working I love I'm working it's I'm just working I love working I love what I do I love what I working I love what I do I love what I working I love what I do I love what I do I can only imagine that you love what do I can only imagine that you love what do I can only imagine that you love what you do as much as I love what I do you do as much as I love what I do you do as much as I love what I do because that's all I ever want to think because that's all I ever want to think because that's all I ever want to think about is all I ever want to talk about about is all I ever want to talk about about is all I ever want to talk about it's all I ever want to be like I I I I it's all I ever want to be like I I I I it's all I ever want to be like I I I I when my wife wants me to take uh August when my wife wants me to take uh August when my wife wants me to take uh August and whatever the August whatever the and whatever the August whatever the and whatever the August whatever the fucking September fucking September fucking September no but like July and August off after we no but like July and August off after we no but like July and August off after we do fully loaded and do fully loaded and do fully loaded and I was like no I was like no I was like no I was like what do you mean like so like I was like what do you mean like so like I was like what do you mean like so like what I'll just am I like sit in a chair what I'll just am I like sit in a chair what I'll just am I like sit in a chair and stuff she's like no you can do like

and stuff she's like no you can do like and stuff she's like no you can do like take up a hobby I go writing jokes I take up a hobby I go writing jokes I take up a hobby I go writing jokes I can't get on stage can I do sets in the can't get on stage can I do sets in the can't get on stage can I do sets in the city because I'm not gonna fucking you city because I'm not gonna fucking you city because I'm not gonna fucking you do you want me to like like I don't do you want me to like like I don't do you want me to like like I don't understand what I don't understand understand what I don't understand understand what I don't understand people who don't I don't understand people who don't I don't understand people who don't I don't understand people who don't have to drive to work people who don't have to drive to work people who don't have to drive to work all the time I don't understand that I all the time I don't understand that I all the time I don't understand that I envy it I envy it because I go I would envy it I envy it because I go I would envy it I envy it because I go I would love to just be like I'm gonna play love to just be like I'm gonna play love to just be like I'm gonna play video games I can't play a video game video games I can't play a video game video games I can't play a video game if I did I'd be on Twitch trying to make if I did I'd be on Twitch trying to make if I did I'd be on Twitch trying to make money like I love how do you find money like I love how do you find money like I love how do you find someone who goes you need to work harder someone who goes you need to work harder someone who goes you need to work harder yeah especially when they see like I I yeah especially when they see like I I yeah especially when they see like I I don't know what you look like but I I don't know what you look like but I I don't know what you look like but I I look tormented when I'm working very look tormented when I'm working very look tormented when I'm working very hard like it means hard like it means hard like it means like it's easy to worry for my like it's easy to worry for my like it's easy to worry for my well-being it's not like I'm a well-being it's not like I'm a well-being it's not like I'm a happy-go-lucky but I'm happy underneath happy-go-lucky but I'm happy underneath happy-go-lucky but I'm happy underneath it am I working too hard is like on a it am I working too hard is like on a it am I working too hard is like on a plane every other day or every day plane every other day or every day plane every other day or every day getting up at six working out and then getting up at six working out and then getting up at six working out and then going into like two in the morning or going into like two in the morning or going into like two in the morning or one in the morning and then going to one in the morning and then going to one in the morning and then going to sleep and then getting up at six working sleep and then getting up at six working sleep and then getting up at six working out getting on a plane going to another out getting on a plane going to another out getting on a plane going to another place place place like that's what my working is just a like that's what my working is just a like that's what my working is just a lot of travel in mind if I didn't drink lot of travel in mind if I didn't drink lot of travel in mind if I didn't drink on planes I don't think anyone would on planes I don't think anyone would on planes I don't think anyone would probably worry about me at all they'd be probably worry about me at all they'd be probably worry about me at all they'd be like no you're doing great but the like no you're doing great but the like no you're doing great but the working out is there so I gotta ask you working out is there so I gotta ask you working out is there so I gotta ask you because you and I seem to have a similar because you and I seem to have a similar because you and I seem to have a similar relationship with running I like this relationship with running I like this relationship with running I like this idea of a slow treadmill I like running idea of a slow treadmill I like running idea of a slow treadmill I like running slow yeah slow yeah slow yeah you know like a 10 minute mile or you know like a 10 minute mile or you know like a 10 minute mile or something like this so I'll just run something like this so I'll just run something like this so I'll just run forever just listen to an audiobook forever just listen to an audiobook forever just listen to an audiobook listen to Brown noise think I love it listen to Brown noise think I love it listen to Brown noise think I love it what's brown noise it's actually what's brown noise it's actually what's brown noise it's actually Brownian noise

Brownian noise Brownian noise um but short brown noise it's kind of um but short brown noise it's kind of um but short brown noise it's kind of like white noise but deeper so it's just like white noise but deeper so it's just like white noise but deeper so it's just noise like noise like noise like shh that oh wow it kind of sounds like a shh that oh wow it kind of sounds like a shh that oh wow it kind of sounds like a waterfall just listen to it and waterfall just listen to it and waterfall just listen to it and something happens to me I think there's something happens to me I think there's something happens to me I think there's you can ask Superman about this I don't you can ask Superman about this I don't you can ask Superman about this I don't but apparently there's some science it but apparently there's some science it but apparently there's some science it kind of focuses the mind and so on kind of focuses the mind and so on kind of focuses the mind and so on it's funny because I think sometimes it's funny because I think sometimes it's funny because I think sometimes with people don't get about running is with people don't get about running is with people don't get about running is they go they go they go they get on and they put it on like a they get on and they put it on like a they get on and they put it on like a six right away on like a treadmill and six right away on like a treadmill and six right away on like a treadmill and they go I can't do this for fucking 30 they go I can't do this for fucking 30 they go I can't do this for fucking 30 minutes but you can if you build minutes but you can if you build minutes but you can if you build yourself up to your six yourself up to your six yourself up to your six and you play games I play games with and you play games I play games with and you play games I play games with myself a lot like I'll play games where myself a lot like I'll play games where myself a lot like I'll play games where I go I go I go um and I I can do this I can do this I um and I I can do this I can do this I um and I I can do this I can do this I can do this almost not all day long but can do this almost not all day long but can do this almost not all day long but I can do this a lot longer like I did it I can do this a lot longer like I did it I can do this a lot longer like I did it for two hours the other day before my for two hours the other day before my for two hours the other day before my workout or no hour and a half before my workout or no hour and a half before my workout or no hour and a half before my workout where I started at 3.5 walking workout where I started at 3.5 walking workout where I started at 3.5 walking and then I and then I get my jog up to and then I and then I get my jog up to and then I and then I get my jog up to like a five and then I'm like 5.5 then I like a five and then I'm like 5.5 then I like a five and then I'm like 5.5 then I go six and then I go and once I'm in a go six and then I go and once I'm in a go six and then I go and once I'm in a six my body's really loose and so then six my body's really loose and so then six my body's really loose and so then I'll go all right bring it down to a 3.5 I'll go all right bring it down to a 3.5 I'll go all right bring it down to a 3.5 and then I go punch it to a 7.5 for a and then I go punch it to a 7.5 for a and then I go punch it to a 7.5 for a quarter of a mile and then let's walk at quarter of a mile and then let's walk at quarter of a mile and then let's walk at a four let's jog in a five right I can a four let's jog in a five right I can a four let's jog in a five right I can do that I love they're called uh fart do that I love they're called uh fart do that I love they're called uh fart let's I think and I love those like let's I think and I love those like let's I think and I love those like where it's like it's where it's like it's where it's like it's regimented running and sprinting at regimented running and sprinting at regimented running and sprinting at certain levels I love that and I love certain levels I love that and I love certain levels I love that and I love also when I work out to listen to music also when I work out to listen to music also when I work out to listen to music but put on foreign language cooking but put on foreign language cooking but put on foreign language cooking shows on Netflix shows on Netflix shows on Netflix can you explain that they just put it on

can you explain that they just put it on can you explain that they just put it on mute you don't need to hear it for some mute you don't need to hear it for some mute you don't need to hear it for some reason they're sexier the way they're reason they're sexier the way they're reason they're sexier the way they're shot they're sexier yeah and it's like shot they're sexier yeah and it's like shot they're sexier yeah and it's like street food Asia and they're just street food Asia and they're just street food Asia and they're just watching them make street food in Asia watching them make street food in Asia watching them make street food in Asia there's one called broth it's called there's one called broth it's called there's one called broth it's called broth the nation of broth and they're broth the nation of broth and they're broth the nation of broth and they're just making broths and you're like fuck just making broths and you're like fuck just making broths and you're like fuck I want some broth so this is South I want some broth so this is South I want some broth so this is South America this is Asia South America Asia America this is Asia South America Asia America this is Asia South America Asia um they do one on pizzas I've watched um they do one on pizzas I've watched um they do one on pizzas I've watched this one on pizzas that I've watched it this one on pizzas that I've watched it this one on pizzas that I've watched it there's like four episodes I've watched there's like four episodes I've watched there's like four episodes I've watched every episode so many times that my every episode so many times that my every episode so many times that my trainer goes God that's that fucking I trainer goes God that's that fucking I trainer goes God that's that fucking I could watch that again yeah could watch that again yeah could watch that again yeah um I love watching foreign language um I love watching foreign language um I love watching foreign language cooking shows on mute when I work out cooking shows on mute when I work out cooking shows on mute when I work out while blasting music while Boston helps while blasting music while Boston helps while blasting music while Boston helps you Darren you Darren you Darren all right well I usually run outside but all right well I usually run outside but all right well I usually run outside but I do oh I can't think I don't mind I do oh I can't think I don't mind I do oh I can't think I don't mind hiking and I like I do like you know hiking and I like I do like you know hiking and I like I do like you know what my fun thing the fun thing I would what my fun thing the fun thing I would what my fun thing the fun thing I would do and this is a this is ripped off do and this is a this is ripped off do and this is a this is ripped off totally from cam Hanes is I like to go totally from cam Hanes is I like to go totally from cam Hanes is I like to go uh there's a great hike called Fryman uh there's a great hike called Fryman uh there's a great hike called Fryman Canyon out in the valley where I live Canyon out in the valley where I live Canyon out in the valley where I live and I'd be like all right I'm gonna run and I'd be like all right I'm gonna run and I'd be like all right I'm gonna run to primary Canyon I'm gonna jog the to primary Canyon I'm gonna jog the to primary Canyon I'm gonna jog the farming Canyon I'm gonna hike farming farming Canyon I'm gonna hike farming farming Canyon I'm gonna hike farming Canyon and then I'm gonna jog back and I wonder how long that is I think and I wonder how long that is I think don't think about it just know that don't think about it just know that don't think about it just know that that's your thing just know that that's that's your thing just know that that's that's your thing just know that that's your thing and then all of a sudden your thing and then all of a sudden your thing and then all of a sudden you're like shit that was eight miles you're like shit that was eight miles you're like shit that was eight miles you're like that's a fucking beast the you're like that's a fucking beast the you're like that's a fucking beast the hike doesn't even feel like anything the hike doesn't even feel like anything the hike doesn't even feel like anything the hike once you do the jogs the hard part hike once you do the jogs the hard part hike once you do the jogs the hard part there the jog home is a fucking Cake there the jog home is a fucking Cake there the jog home is a fucking Cake walk I had the best jog when I was in walk I had the best jog when I was in walk I had the best jog when I was in Serbia I had the best jog I think it was

Serbia I had the best jog I think it was Serbia I had the best jog I think it was in Hyde Park I think the name of the in Hyde Park I think the name of the in Hyde Park I think the name of the park is Hyde Park park is Hyde Park park is Hyde Park it was get this it was 80 percent it was get this it was 80 percent it was get this it was 80 percent downhill downhill downhill wow so this jog you started the park and wow so this jog you started the park and wow so this jog you started the park and it was like and I'll do it like this for it was like and I'll do it like this for it was like and I'll do it like this for you you went like downhill like this you you went like downhill like this you you went like downhill like this downhill like this downhill like this downhill like this downhill like this downhill like this downhill like this and then it was like a little steep and then it was like a little steep and then it was like a little steep incline to get to the beginning of it so incline to get to the beginning of it so incline to get to the beginning of it so it was like a little like nice like it was like a little like nice like it was like a little like nice like lower back pain you're like okay okay lower back pain you're like okay okay lower back pain you're like okay okay and then the jog was perfect and you did and then the jog was perfect and you did and then the jog was perfect and you did four times it was four miles I loved it four times it was four miles I loved it four times it was four miles I loved it my very first day I did it a butterfly my very first day I did it a butterfly my very first day I did it a butterfly got in front of me it's like six in the got in front of me it's like six in the got in front of me it's like six in the morning yeah six in the morning and a morning yeah six in the morning and a morning yeah six in the morning and a butterfly got in front of me and it ran butterfly got in front of me and it ran butterfly got in front of me and it ran the whole first Mile in front of me and the whole first Mile in front of me and the whole first Mile in front of me and I just it was like so surreal it would I just it was like so surreal it would I just it was like so surreal it would disappear and then it would show back up disappear and then it would show back up disappear and then it would show back up in front of me yeah you sure it was real in front of me yeah you sure it was real in front of me yeah you sure it was real no definitely real and then the next day no definitely real and then the next day no definitely real and then the next day and so I go I'm on the right path I'm on and so I go I'm on the right path I'm on and so I go I'm on the right path I'm on the right path the next day I go for a the right path the next day I go for a the right path the next day I go for a jog six in the morning and it rained and jog six in the morning and it rained and jog six in the morning and it rained and as I'm doing this deep uphill incline a as I'm doing this deep uphill incline a as I'm doing this deep uphill incline a tree collapsed in front of me just went tree collapsed in front of me just went tree collapsed in front of me just went and I went whoa a tree fell in the woods and I went whoa a tree fell in the woods and I went whoa a tree fell in the woods and I was here to see it shut the fuck and I was here to see it shut the fuck and I was here to see it shut the fuck up I was like that's crazy and it didn't up I was like that's crazy and it didn't up I was like that's crazy and it didn't hit me like I'm on the right path and hit me like I'm on the right path and hit me like I'm on the right path and then I started getting overthinking it then I started getting overthinking it then I started getting overthinking it like the next day I saw a condom and I like the next day I saw a condom and I like the next day I saw a condom and I was like this is a good place to join I was like this is a good place to join I was like this is a good place to join I was like people fucked here last night was like people fucked here last night was like people fucked here last night but but yeah that was one of the best but but yeah that was one of the best but but yeah that was one of the best jobs I've ever had I could do that I jobs I've ever had I could do that I jobs I've ever had I could do that I could run that Park every single day and could run that Park every single day and could run that Park every single day and no one jogged that Park in Serbia I no one jogged that Park in Serbia I no one jogged that Park in Serbia I actually recently had a condom on my actually recently had a condom on my actually recently had a condom on my doorstep and I I wanted to ask whoever doorstep and I I wanted to ask whoever doorstep and I I wanted to ask whoever is up there above what what that means

is up there above what what that means is up there above what what that means what the what the what the what you know what the story behind that what you know what the story behind that what you know what the story behind that is yeah it's like you know just a pissed is yeah it's like you know just a pissed is yeah it's like you know just a pissed off UPS guy I I just was it compromised off UPS guy I I just was it compromised off UPS guy I I just was it compromised what do you mean compromised like was what do you mean compromised like was what do you mean compromised like was there stuff inside it oh I didn't look I there stuff inside it oh I didn't look I there stuff inside it oh I didn't look I mean very few people put on the calendar mean very few people put on the calendar mean very few people put on the calendar and go it's not for me I'm gonna take it and go it's not for me I'm gonna take it and go it's not for me I'm gonna take it off yeah it's a little tight it could be off yeah it's a little tight it could be off yeah it's a little tight it could be to send a message like a horse's head to send a message like a horse's head to send a message like a horse's head kind of thing oh yeah I don't know I kind of thing oh yeah I don't know I kind of thing oh yeah I don't know I don't know what the message is exactly don't know what the message is exactly don't know what the message is exactly do you use condoms if you had a one do you use condoms if you had a one do you use condoms if you had a one night stand would you use a condom I night stand would you use a condom I night stand would you use a condom I don't know what a condom is I didn't don't know what a condom is I didn't don't know what a condom is I didn't never heard it I'm learning good I'm never heard it I'm learning good I'm never heard it I'm learning good I'm learning I've learned about sex from you learning I've learned about sex from you learning I've learned about sex from you today if my wife dies there's no condoms today if my wife dies there's no condoms today if my wife dies there's no condoms in my future I'll get it I don't care I in my future I'll get it I don't care I in my future I'll get it I don't care I have babies I don't give a shit have babies I don't give a shit have babies I don't give a shit your Mana principle I like it uh Mark your Mana principle I like it uh Mark your Mana principle I like it uh Mark Maron wrote something about your book Maron wrote something about your book Maron wrote something about your book many many many ages ago life of the many many many ages ago life of the many many many ages ago life of the party party party I think it's there's an interesting I think it's there's an interesting I think it's there's an interesting question in there so first of all wrote question in there so first of all wrote question in there so first of all wrote eloquently about you Brooke Chrysler is eloquently about you Brooke Chrysler is eloquently about you Brooke Chrysler is one of the Great American Wild men one of the Great American Wild men one of the Great American Wild men a Gonzo Warrior driven not by cynicism a Gonzo Warrior driven not by cynicism a Gonzo Warrior driven not by cynicism or a desire to reveal dark truths but or a desire to reveal dark truths but or a desire to reveal dark truths but instead by a deep almost essential need instead by a deep almost essential need instead by a deep almost essential need to have a good time no matter what his to have a good time no matter what his to have a good time no matter what his stories track the trials and stories track the trials and stories track the trials and tribulations of a big-hearted dude tribulations of a big-hearted dude tribulations of a big-hearted dude trying to fit in help out and party and trying to fit in help out and party and trying to fit in help out and party and find himself after all is said and done find himself after all is said and done find himself after all is said and done we arrive with him at the true humility we arrive with him at the true humility we arrive with him at the true humility of Joy so of Joy so of Joy so when was this desire for pure joy born when was this desire for pure joy born when was this desire for pure joy born in you it seems like in you it seems like in you it seems like you are driven towards this

you are driven towards this you are driven towards this Joy Joy Joy yeah I think I arrived at it in college I I think I arrived at it in college I wasn't always the guy I am I was really wasn't always the guy I am I was really wasn't always the guy I am I was really a serious pretty serious dude like when a serious pretty serious dude like when a serious pretty serious dude like when I got to college like dark brooding I got to college like dark brooding I got to college like dark brooding serious yeah I wanted to be like I want serious yeah I wanted to be like I want serious yeah I wanted to be like I want to be like Eddie Vedder I wanted to be to be like Eddie Vedder I wanted to be to be like Eddie Vedder I wanted to be like a poet and a fucking lead singer like a poet and a fucking lead singer like a poet and a fucking lead singer and I wanted to be taken seriously and I and I wanted to be taken seriously and I and I wanted to be taken seriously and I wanted to be attractive and I wanted to wanted to be attractive and I wanted to wanted to be attractive and I wanted to be you know like be you know like be you know like I wanted to be wanted by chicks and and I wanted to be wanted by chicks and and I wanted to be wanted by chicks and and respected by dudes and you know respected by dudes and you know respected by dudes and you know and slowly but surely I think the bird I and slowly but surely I think the bird I and slowly but surely I think the bird I really am chipped away at that and was really am chipped away at that and was really am chipped away at that and was like hey man like I would say funny I like hey man like I would say funny I like hey man like I would say funny I would say funny things that would would say funny things that would would say funny things that would surprise me they were so funny meaning surprise me they were so funny meaning surprise me they were so funny meaning like in my fraternity I'd say things like in my fraternity I'd say things like in my fraternity I'd say things that were the funniest thing that I I go that were the funniest thing that I I go that were the funniest thing that I I go how did I think of that yeah and then how did I think of that yeah and then how did I think of that yeah and then slowly I was like slowly I was like slowly I was like and I remember as that as I chipped away and I remember as that as I chipped away and I remember as that as I chipped away at that and as I got older at that and as I got older at that and as I got older I would I would I would I would I would lean towards that we I would I would lean towards that we I would I would lean towards that we would go on a bus trip to like Clemson would go on a bus trip to like Clemson would go on a bus trip to like Clemson and I would get on the the the and I would get on the the the and I would get on the the the walkie-talkie on the bus and I would do walkie-talkie on the bus and I would do walkie-talkie on the bus and I would do stand up for like an hour I just make stand up for like an hour I just make stand up for like an hour I just make jokes for an hour and I and I loved jokes for an hour and I and I loved jokes for an hour and I and I loved the impulse of like you know you get on the impulse of like you know you get on the impulse of like you know you get on the bus and everyone's like we're gonna the bus and everyone's like we're gonna the bus and everyone's like we're gonna drink and you get that one group of drink and you get that one group of drink and you get that one group of girls that was gonna drink and then to girls that was gonna drink and then to girls that was gonna drink and then to break them and they're like oh fuck it break them and they're like oh fuck it break them and they're like oh fuck it fine let's drink and then that to to fine let's drink and then that to to fine let's drink and then that to to watch that happen and I think

watch that happen and I think watch that happen and I think then once I and then when I went to then once I and then when I went to then once I and then when I went to Russia this is so cliche for me to say Russia this is so cliche for me to say Russia this is so cliche for me to say but interacting with those young banditi but interacting with those young banditi but interacting with those young banditi they were they were pretty serious dudes they were they were pretty serious dudes they were they were pretty serious dudes they didn't have like they were pretty they didn't have like they were pretty they didn't have like they were pretty stoic dudes stoic dudes stoic dudes and when you could make them laugh it and when you could make them laugh it and when you could make them laugh it was like a real it was a real Joy the was like a real it was a real Joy the was like a real it was a real Joy the silliest things I remember you know we silliest things I remember you know we silliest things I remember you know we were told were told were told there was a club it was called cafe or there was a club it was called cafe or there was a club it was called cafe or Europa or maybe Cafe Americana there's Europa or maybe Cafe Americana there's Europa or maybe Cafe Americana there's where everyone really hung out like all where everyone really hung out like all where everyone really hung out like all the the real dudes the real dudes the the real dudes the real dudes the the real dudes the real dudes in St Petersburg in St Petersburg in St Petersburg and they had told us that like they told and they had told us that like they told and they had told us that like they told us in our class that uh Russian women us in our class that uh Russian women us in our class that uh Russian women didn't have tampons so they were like didn't have tampons so they were like didn't have tampons so they were like bring tampons to give to the Babushka bring tampons to give to the Babushka bring tampons to give to the Babushka the devotchka that ran the floor the devotchka that ran the floor the devotchka that ran the floor after all this time the fact that your after all this time the fact that your after all this time the fact that your Russian sucks is awesome yeah if you Russian sucks is awesome yeah if you Russian sucks is awesome yeah if you keep mispronouncing words horribly I keep mispronouncing words horribly I keep mispronouncing words horribly I horribly I'm so fucking bad I am so bad horribly I'm so fucking bad I am so bad horribly I'm so fucking bad I am so bad you know that's how I got the name of you know that's how I got the name of you know that's how I got the name of the machine right yeah I was trying to the machine right yeah I was trying to the machine right yeah I was trying to say yeah and I said I'm a car yeah and say yeah and I said I'm a car yeah and say yeah and I said I'm a car yeah and they just were like huh and so I came they just were like huh and so I came they just were like huh and so I came into the room one night with a top into the room one night with a top into the room one night with a top pocket full of tampons yeah and they pocket full of tampons yeah and they pocket full of tampons yeah and they were like what are those for I said were like what are those for I said were like what are those for I said girls how are we gonna pick up girls and girls how are we gonna pick up girls and girls how are we gonna pick up girls and the look on their face was so it was so the look on their face was so it was so the look on their face was so it was so pure joy I remember the first night I pure joy I remember the first night I pure joy I remember the first night I pulled out lemons and this is it sounds pulled out lemons and this is it sounds pulled out lemons and this is it sounds it sounds make-believe now to say it it sounds make-believe now to say it it sounds make-believe now to say it because it's been in the movie and yeah because it's been in the movie and yeah because it's been in the movie and yeah but I brought out lemons we were in

but I brought out lemons we were in but I brought out lemons we were in lemon drops I vodka and lemons and sugar lemon drops I vodka and lemons and sugar lemon drops I vodka and lemons and sugar and a pocket knife and a fanny pack and and a pocket knife and a fanny pack and and a pocket knife and a fanny pack and I put out lemons and and this guy Igor I put out lemons and and this guy Igor I put out lemons and and this guy Igor goes oh the machine runs on lemons like goes oh the machine runs on lemons like goes oh the machine runs on lemons like it was just so foreign that you would it was just so foreign that you would it was just so foreign that you would need lemon for them and so I I think and need lemon for them and so I I think and need lemon for them and so I I think and I made friends with those guys like I I made friends with those guys like I I made friends with those guys like I mean like friends whatever you can but mean like friends whatever you can but mean like friends whatever you can but like definitely me and that guy equal like definitely me and that guy equal like definitely me and that guy equal legit friends legit friends like but legit friends legit friends like but legit friends legit friends like but from a place of Joy like green yeah it from a place of Joy like green yeah it from a place of Joy like green yeah it was like it was like real seeing them was like it was like real seeing them was like it was like real seeing them light up and then I remember backpacking light up and then I remember backpacking light up and then I remember backpacking through Europe after that and realizing through Europe after that and realizing through Europe after that and realizing I could bring a spark of fun to like a I could bring a spark of fun to like a I could bring a spark of fun to like a campfire and I had little tricks like I campfire and I had little tricks like I campfire and I had little tricks like I learned all the currencies around the learned all the currencies around the learned all the currencies around the world and so I I challenge people to a world and so I I challenge people to a world and so I I challenge people to a currency game I go let's go head to head currency game I go let's go head to head currency game I go let's go head to head you say you you name a country in the you say you you name a country in the you say you you name a country in the currency and I'll name a country in the currency and I'll name a country in the currency and I'll name a country in the currency and I would I would slow roll currency and I would I would slow roll currency and I would I would slow roll them I'd just do all the dollars right them I'd just do all the dollars right them I'd just do all the dollars right the Chinese dollar the American dollar the Chinese dollar the American dollar the Chinese dollar the American dollar the Australian dollar I'd run through the Australian dollar I'd run through the Australian dollar I'd run through all the dollars and they'd be like you all the dollars and they'd be like you all the dollars and they'd be like you only know the dollars and then and then only know the dollars and then and then only know the dollars and then and then I get started getting really deep I I get started getting really deep I I get started getting really deep I could make an event out of a night in in could make an event out of a night in in could make an event out of a night in in Europe I could make an event I remember Europe I could make an event I remember Europe I could make an event I remember we were in uh Strasbourg and the bar was we were in uh Strasbourg and the bar was we were in uh Strasbourg and the bar was supposed to close but I had friends supposed to close but I had friends supposed to close but I had friends coming to the bar the train hadn't coming to the bar the train hadn't coming to the bar the train hadn't gotten uh in in yet and I said gotten uh in in yet and I said gotten uh in in yet and I said I said don't close the bar I'll stand on I said don't close the bar I'll stand on I said don't close the bar I'll stand on the bar and I'll entertain everyone in the bar and I'll entertain everyone in the bar and I'll entertain everyone in this room I'll dance I'll do whatever if this room I'll dance I'll do whatever if this room I'll dance I'll do whatever if you just keep the bar open and the guy you just keep the bar open and the guy you just keep the bar open and the guy goes if you can keep me laughing I'll goes if you can keep me laughing I'll goes if you can keep me laughing I'll keep the bar open and I danced and and

keep the bar open and I danced and and keep the bar open and I danced and and made this guy laugh on a bar for legit made this guy laugh on a bar for legit made this guy laugh on a bar for legit I'm not even like a legit 30 minutes I'm not even like a legit 30 minutes I'm not even like a legit 30 minutes until my friends walked in and they're until my friends walked in and they're until my friends walked in and they're like what the fuck's going on I had this like what the fuck's going on I had this like what the fuck's going on I had this ability to ability to ability to to without humility I didn't mind to without humility I didn't mind to without humility I didn't mind looking like a fool and like doing and looking like a fool and like doing and looking like a fool and like doing and there were really stupid jokes at the there were really stupid jokes at the there were really stupid jokes at the time just very like base American frat time just very like base American frat time just very like base American frat boy jokes but I didn't Sparkle when I boy jokes but I didn't Sparkle when I boy jokes but I didn't Sparkle when I came back I feel I feel like I learned came back I feel I feel like I learned came back I feel I feel like I learned how to like to do that and do funny how to like to do that and do funny how to like to do that and do funny things that were like fun like I would things that were like fun like I would things that were like fun like I would we go to a football game and I'd I we go to a football game and I'd I we go to a football game and I'd I brought a camera around with me a lot I brought a camera around with me a lot I brought a camera around with me a lot I like to take pictures like to take pictures like to take pictures and I remember one of the jokes I'd go and I remember one of the jokes I'd go and I remember one of the jokes I'd go is I go hey everybody I told my parents is I go hey everybody I told my parents is I go hey everybody I told my parents I have a lot of friends can you guys I have a lot of friends can you guys I have a lot of friends can you guys gather around and we'll take a picture gather around and we'll take a picture gather around and we'll take a picture and so you know like 50 people would and so you know like 50 people would and so you know like 50 people would lead around like hey and like just the lead around like hey and like just the lead around like hey and like just the dumbest yeah silliest things and and dumbest yeah silliest things and and dumbest yeah silliest things and and and and I don't and I wasn't a big and and I don't and I wasn't a big and and I don't and I wasn't a big self-promoter so these would happen and self-promoter so these would happen and self-promoter so these would happen and I would just I was just doing them for I would just I was just doing them for I would just I was just doing them for me and my friends me and my friends me and my friends I'd bring a guitar out and I just make I'd bring a guitar out and I just make I'd bring a guitar out and I just make up songs and and uh up songs and and uh up songs and and uh and and so I think in in watching this and and so I think in in watching this and and so I think in in watching this this serious bird get chipped away at this serious bird get chipped away at this serious bird get chipped away at until my like six and a half year of until my like six and a half year of until my like six and a half year of college where it was just this silly guy college where it was just this silly guy college where it was just this silly guy and then Rolling Stones written about me and then Rolling Stones written about me and then Rolling Stones written about me and I'm like and then I'm like well and and I'm like and then I'm like well and and I'm like and then I'm like well and I remember a couple serious Dads going I remember a couple serious Dads going I remember a couple serious Dads going yo you got a chance to turn this into yo you got a chance to turn this into yo you got a chance to turn this into something you need to go to you need to something you need to go to you need to something you need to go to you need to follow your dream and I try to stand up follow your dream and I try to stand up follow your dream and I try to stand up the first night and I was like I maybe the first night and I was like I maybe the first night and I was like I maybe not wasn't the funniest guy but man they

not wasn't the funniest guy but man they not wasn't the funniest guy but man they laughed and we had a good time for 30 laughed and we had a good time for 30 laughed and we had a good time for 30 minutes and it worked and it was stream minutes and it worked and it was stream minutes and it worked and it was stream of consciousness of consciousness of consciousness and I was like yeah and then of course and I was like yeah and then of course and I was like yeah and then of course you know that same little path you take you know that same little path you take you know that same little path you take gets convoluted in in New York because gets convoluted in in New York because gets convoluted in in New York because you want to be a serious comic and you you want to be a serious comic and you you want to be a serious comic and you want to be taken seriously and you want want to be taken seriously and you want want to be taken seriously and you want to be edgy and you want to say the and to be edgy and you want to say the and to be edgy and you want to say the and then slowly but surely that you're the then slowly but surely that you're the then slowly but surely that you're the real bird chips away at it and he's like real bird chips away at it and he's like real bird chips away at it and he's like yeah man just fucking take your shirt yeah man just fucking take your shirt yeah man just fucking take your shirt off kill a beer yeah like fucking tell off kill a beer yeah like fucking tell off kill a beer yeah like fucking tell the machine stories tell a story about the machine stories tell a story about the machine stories tell a story about your stupid kids like just you don't your stupid kids like just you don't your stupid kids like just you don't need to be the fucking edgiest dude in need to be the fucking edgiest dude in need to be the fucking edgiest dude in the room leave that to the good ones let the room leave that to the good ones let the room leave that to the good ones let let Bill and fucking Joe and Tom they're let Bill and fucking Joe and Tom they're let Bill and fucking Joe and Tom they're the those are the legit fucking gangster the those are the legit fucking gangster the those are the legit fucking gangster Comics they're I mean those are the Comics they're I mean those are the Comics they're I mean those are the fucking fucking fucking I'm you're never gonna out fucking I'm you're never gonna out fucking I'm you're never gonna out fucking Chappelle those those guys are fucking Chappelle those those guys are fucking Chappelle those those guys are fucking gangsters do what you do have fun make gangsters do what you do have fun make gangsters do what you do have fun make life fun and seize the day and fucking life fun and seize the day and fucking life fun and seize the day and fucking try to bring a spark to people and let try to bring a spark to people and let try to bring a spark to people and let them forget about their fucking day them forget about their fucking day them forget about their fucking day and the the interesting thing about and the the interesting thing about and the the interesting thing about alcohol that I've I don't really like alcohol that I've I don't really like alcohol that I've I don't really like drinking drinking drinking in terms of the actual physical like how in terms of the actual physical like how in terms of the actual physical like how it makes me feel but there's the the it makes me feel but there's the the it makes me feel but there's the the camaraderie that happens camaraderie that happens camaraderie that happens I I wish there was another way to get I I wish there was another way to get I I wish there was another way to get there but I don't think there is that there but I don't think there is that there but I don't think there is that Joy you get of just everybody getting Joy you get of just everybody getting Joy you get of just everybody getting together and taking shots or drinking together and taking shots or drinking together and taking shots or drinking not the polite kind of drinking but just not the polite kind of drinking but just not the polite kind of drinking but just everybody just everybody just everybody just the the fuck it kind of drinking yeah the the fuck it kind of drinking yeah the the fuck it kind of drinking yeah and when someone goes all right I'm in and when someone goes all right I'm in and when someone goes all right I'm in like that all right yeah that's the like that all right yeah that's the like that all right yeah that's the funnest and then especially when you funnest and then especially when you funnest and then especially when you have a big group yeah and there's like a have a big group yeah and there's like a have a big group yeah and there's like a big group and like we were at the big group and like we were at the big group and like we were at the premiere the other night and and uh and premiere the other night and and uh and premiere the other night and and uh and I was working I was legit working I do I was working I was legit working I do I was working I was legit working I do I'm trying to sell the movie to outlets

I'm trying to sell the movie to outlets I'm trying to sell the movie to outlets media Outlets and uh Boston with the boy media Outlets and uh Boston with the boy media Outlets and uh Boston with the boy Boston with the boys my wife flew them Boston with the boys my wife flew them Boston with the boys my wife flew them in to surprise me and they're over on in to surprise me and they're over on in to surprise me and they're over on the red carpet and they're like yo this the red carpet and they're like yo this the red carpet and they're like yo this the skull a beer let's kill a beer and I the skull a beer let's kill a beer and I the skull a beer let's kill a beer and I was like oh and then I'm like ah fuck it was like oh and then I'm like ah fuck it was like oh and then I'm like ah fuck it I Don't Give A F this is what life's I Don't Give A F this is what life's I Don't Give A F this is what life's about and that moment where they're like about and that moment where they're like about and that moment where they're like yeah that's the funnest fucking yeah that's the funnest fucking yeah that's the funnest fucking especially when I can get Leanne to do especially when I can get Leanne to do especially when I can get Leanne to do it when I get Leanne to get a drink and it when I get Leanne to get a drink and it when I get Leanne to get a drink and she'll and she's like she'll and she's like she'll and she's like like I wasn't supposed to drink last like I wasn't supposed to drink last like I wasn't supposed to drink last night and she was like you want to just night and she was like you want to just night and she was like you want to just we still have a glass of wine in the we still have a glass of wine in the we still have a glass of wine in the front yard and you're like oh my heart front yard and you're like oh my heart front yard and you're like oh my heart skips a beat I go glass one in the front skips a beat I go glass one in the front skips a beat I go glass one in the front yard are we gonna talk wild are we gonna yard are we gonna talk wild are we gonna yard are we gonna talk wild are we gonna say crazy shit to each other like fuck say crazy shit to each other like fuck say crazy shit to each other like fuck yeah in the front yard front yard what yeah in the front yard front yard what yeah in the front yard front yard what are you doing in the front yard let the are you doing in the front yard let the are you doing in the front yard let the dogs play oh Big Trees in the front yard dogs play oh Big Trees in the front yard dogs play oh Big Trees in the front yard in the Adirondacks on the front porch in the Adirondacks on the front porch in the Adirondacks on the front porch letting the dogs play letting the dogs letting the dogs play letting the dogs letting the dogs play letting the dogs rest in the front yard maybe go over rest in the front yard maybe go over rest in the front yard maybe go over pick some cherries look at the fucking pick some cherries look at the fucking pick some cherries look at the fucking trees hear the wind going through the trees hear the wind going through the trees hear the wind going through the front yard and then you go to the front yard and then you go to the front yard and then you go to the backyard that's where the cigar comes backyard that's where the cigar comes backyard that's where the cigar comes out a little more privacy but yeah out a little more privacy but yeah out a little more privacy but yeah red wine Mall back red wine Mall back red wine Mall back keep our sulfites low keep our sulfites low keep our sulfites low yeah wine is a whole nother one too I yeah wine is a whole nother one too I yeah wine is a whole nother one too I feel sophisticated oh yeah I've went I feel sophisticated oh yeah I've went I feel sophisticated oh yeah I've went I traveled uh before Ukraine I went to traveled uh before Ukraine I went to traveled uh before Ukraine I went to Paris for the first time I drank wine Paris for the first time I drank wine Paris for the first time I drank wine there and I felt like there and I felt like there and I felt like I was uh a sophisticated man I was uh a sophisticated man I was uh a sophisticated man you know dude you know dude you know dude I didn't speak much French but you don't I didn't speak much French but you don't I didn't speak much French but you don't need to you don't need to just start need to you don't need to just start need to you don't need to just start smoking too just have a fucking smoking too just have a fucking smoking too just have a fucking cigarette I was gonna start writing

cigarette I was gonna start writing cigarette I was gonna start writing poetry duding Hemingway there's uh like poetry duding Hemingway there's uh like poetry duding Hemingway there's uh like a glass of wine in Italy and like uh a glass of wine in Italy and like uh a glass of wine in Italy and like uh like just out in like we went we went oh like just out in like we went we went oh like just out in like we went we went oh the most beautiful fucking day of my the most beautiful fucking day of my the most beautiful fucking day of my life life life just outside Florence just outside Florence just outside Florence they have all the Vineyards and stuff they have all the Vineyards and stuff they have all the Vineyards and stuff and we took a Vespa tour nice and uh and and we took a Vespa tour nice and uh and and we took a Vespa tour nice and uh and it was fucking and Isla's too young to it was fucking and Isla's too young to it was fucking and Isla's too young to ride so she's on the back and now ride so she's on the back and now ride so she's on the back and now everyone can drink there you know you're everyone can drink there you know you're everyone can drink there you know you're not supposed to drink and drive Vespas not supposed to drink and drive Vespas not supposed to drink and drive Vespas but they don't they go a glass of wine but they don't they go a glass of wine but they don't they go a glass of wine is nothing yeah and you're like okay is nothing yeah and you're like okay is nothing yeah and you're like okay I guess I'll have a couple then if you I guess I'll have a couple then if you I guess I'll have a couple then if you think one's nothing then I think two's think one's nothing then I think two's think one's nothing then I think two's nothing also so this is drunk Bert on a nothing also so this is drunk Bert on a nothing also so this is drunk Bert on a Vespa drunk not even drunk but just Vespa drunk not even drunk but just Vespa drunk not even drunk but just lightly lightly feathered yeah where lightly lightly feathered yeah where lightly lightly feathered yeah where and it's beautiful my wife hasn't been and it's beautiful my wife hasn't been and it's beautiful my wife hasn't been drinking Georgia has Georgia's too young drinking Georgia has Georgia's too young drinking Georgia has Georgia's too young Isla is too young but I had at dinner we Isla is too young but I had at dinner we Isla is too young but I had at dinner we had a couple and we're going through had a couple and we're going through had a couple and we're going through these Hills and it starts raining these Hills and it starts raining these Hills and it starts raining and it starts raining and I go and it starts raining and I go and it starts raining and I go Isla what are we missing and she goes Isla what are we missing and she goes Isla what are we missing and she goes music big boy and I go what do you want music big boy and I go what do you want music big boy and I go what do you want to hear and then she just starts going I can't stop this feeling she's I can't stop this feeling she's screaming it and behind and then I hear screaming it and behind and then I hear screaming it and behind and then I hear George is screaming it and then Leanne's George is screaming it and then Leanne's George is screaming it and then Leanne's singing it and then Sandy and her two singing it and then Sandy and her two singing it and then Sandy and her two daughters are singing it we're on these daughters are singing it we're on these daughters are singing it we're on these Vespas and we're all singing it and and Vespas and we're all singing it and and Vespas and we're all singing it and and I and I swear to God if I hadn't been

I and I swear to God if I hadn't been I and I swear to God if I hadn't been lightly feathered I don't know if I lightly feathered I don't know if I lightly feathered I don't know if I would have been like Idol what are we would have been like Idol what are we would have been like Idol what are we missing because you know alcohol will missing because you know alcohol will missing because you know alcohol will give you that thing like what's next give you that thing like what's next give you that thing like what's next what's bigger how do we take this to the what's bigger how do we take this to the what's bigger how do we take this to the next level and then I got this little next level and then I got this little next level and then I got this little girl who's still my little girl at that girl who's still my little girl at that girl who's still my little girl at that moment when she's singing sing it all moment when she's singing sing it all moment when she's singing sing it all the good times aiming up so long yeah the good times aiming up so long yeah the good times aiming up so long yeah give it up girl and then we stop at the give it up girl and then we stop at the give it up girl and then we stop at the and we stop at the light and all of us and we stop at the light and all of us and we stop at the light and all of us are looking and it's pouring rain don't do the feeling don't it is I mean don't do the feeling don't it is I mean I remember uh solving crying sobbing I remember uh solving crying sobbing I remember uh solving crying sobbing crying sobbing crying and then I was crying sobbing crying and then I was crying sobbing crying and then I was like let's get these fucking Vespers up like let's get these fucking Vespers up like let's get these fucking Vespers up and get to a Vineyard and then we went and get to a Vineyard and then we went and get to a Vineyard and then we went to a Vineyard and the all the girls to a Vineyard and the all the girls to a Vineyard and the all the girls tried a little wine no one got buzzed or tried a little wine no one got buzzed or tried a little wine no one got buzzed or anything but you're just sitting there anything but you're just sitting there anything but you're just sitting there with your family going like with your family going like with your family going like fuck dude it and I'm not certain you get fuck dude it and I'm not certain you get fuck dude it and I'm not certain you get that without a little bit of a little that without a little bit of a little that without a little bit of a little bit but then a lot is also interesting I bit but then a lot is also interesting I bit but then a lot is also interesting I had uh a lot of whiskey with Rogan once had uh a lot of whiskey with Rogan once had uh a lot of whiskey with Rogan once I think I saw that yeah I think I saw I think I saw that yeah I think I saw I think I saw that yeah I think I saw that with Whitney too he was in the that with Whitney too he was in the that with Whitney too he was in the push-up concert contest with uh David push-up concert contest with uh David push-up concert contest with uh David got is the only time I met David Goggins got is the only time I met David Goggins got is the only time I met David Goggins in person one of the great in person one of the great in person one of the great embarrassments of my life is uh trashed embarrassments of my life is uh trashed embarrassments of my life is uh trashed out of my mind I'm trying to say how out of my mind I'm trying to say how out of my mind I'm trying to say how much of a fan I am and I could tell by much of a fan I am and I could tell by much of a fan I am and I could tell by the look in his eye that what is the look in his eye that what is the look in his eye that what is actually coming out of my mouth is not actually coming out of my mouth is not actually coming out of my mouth is not good good good it's not good and his wife is it's not good and his wife is it's not good and his wife is embarrassed standing right there also embarrassed standing right there also embarrassed standing right there also just everybody's embarrassed for me man just everybody's embarrassed for me man just everybody's embarrassed for me man I'm trying my best and then somehow I I'm trying my best and then somehow I I'm trying my best and then somehow I find myself a minute later doing find myself a minute later doing find myself a minute later doing push-ups with him as a challenge I

push-ups with him as a challenge I push-ups with him as a challenge I didn't it wasn't counting all I knew I'm didn't it wasn't counting all I knew I'm didn't it wasn't counting all I knew I'm not stopping not stopping not stopping and he was polite enough to stop I think and he was polite enough to stop I think and he was polite enough to stop I think probably like 50 I don't know probably like 50 I don't know probably like 50 I don't know there's a gift someone gives you when there's a gift someone gives you when there's a gift someone gives you when they get drunk and they allow they get they get drunk and they allow they get they get drunk and they allow they get drunk and they lower their guard and drunk and they lower their guard and drunk and they lower their guard and they allow you to see them that way it's they allow you to see them that way it's they allow you to see them that way it's a gift it's a real gift it's just as a gift it's a real gift it's just as a gift it's a real gift it's just as cool as like pulling someone's side and cool as like pulling someone's side and cool as like pulling someone's side and going yo I'm into anime like are you going yo I'm into anime like are you going yo I'm into anime like are you cool with that and then they're going cool with that and then they're going cool with that and then they're going yeah oh yeah can I show you some cool yeah oh yeah can I show you some cool yeah oh yeah can I show you some cool anime and then you're like that's not my anime and then you're like that's not my anime and then you're like that's not my thing but it's like a cool thing it's thing but it's like a cool thing it's thing but it's like a cool thing it's like sharing cool music with someone or like sharing cool music with someone or like sharing cool music with someone or like telling them something about your like telling them something about your like telling them something about your childhood when you when you get drunk childhood when you when you get drunk childhood when you when you get drunk like real drunk around someone like real drunk around someone like real drunk around someone you're giving them a gift yeah and that you're giving them a gift yeah and that you're giving them a gift yeah and that gift is I want you to see me for gift is I want you to see me for gift is I want you to see me for everything I am yeah you're not going to everything I am yeah you're not going to everything I am yeah you're not going to get any lies you're not going to get any get any lies you're not going to get any get any lies you're not going to get any bullshit this is me at my absolute worst bullshit this is me at my absolute worst bullshit this is me at my absolute worst I have a rule I will never never get mad I have a rule I will never never get mad I have a rule I will never never get mad at someone for getting too fucked up at someone for getting too fucked up at someone for getting too fucked up because they're giving you a gift because they're giving you a gift because they're giving you a gift they're saying like yo I did this on they're saying like yo I did this on they're saying like yo I did this on accident but I trust you enough to let accident but I trust you enough to let accident but I trust you enough to let you know that this is who I am and this you know that this is who I am and this you know that this is who I am and this is what you're getting I love it I love is what you're getting I love it I love is what you're getting I love it I love it especially when it comes to someone it especially when it comes to someone it especially when it comes to someone you don't expect like you shut the fuck you don't expect like you shut the fuck you don't expect like you shut the fuck up David gockins should have hugged you up David gockins should have hugged you up David gockins should have hugged you and said thanks for showing me this yeah and said thanks for showing me this yeah and said thanks for showing me this yeah I guess that really you're right I I guess that really you're right I I guess that really you're right I haven't thought of it that way there's haven't thought of it that way there's haven't thought of it that way there's an intimacy to that because that is a an intimacy to that because that is a an intimacy to that because that is a gift of like fragility like this is me I gift of like fragility like this is me I gift of like fragility like this is me I mean I'm I'm a very loving drunk but I'm mean I'm I'm a very loving drunk but I'm mean I'm I'm a very loving drunk but I'm boy am I a dumb drunk well dumb in terms of the eloquence of

well dumb in terms of the eloquence of the words that are coming out of my the words that are coming out of my the words that are coming out of my mouth so like you're just not stitching mouth so like you're just not stitching mouth so like you're just not stitching words together correctly to make words together correctly to make words together correctly to make sentences no I turn into Hemingway Lost sentences no I turn into Hemingway Lost sentences no I turn into Hemingway Lost in Translation like I'll start saying in Translation like I'll start saying in Translation like I'll start saying random words but like translated to random words but like translated to random words but like translated to Japanese and back to English it's not Japanese and back to English it's not Japanese and back to English it's not making any sense but there's love like I making any sense but there's love like I making any sense but there's love like I think what you feel is this kind of think what you feel is this kind of think what you feel is this kind of desire to connect that I think I always desire to connect that I think I always desire to connect that I think I always feel towards other people but when I'm feel towards other people but when I'm feel towards other people but when I'm drunk I'm just say fuck it I don't need drunk I'm just say fuck it I don't need drunk I'm just say fuck it I don't need to be polite I'll just be loving fully to be polite I'll just be loving fully to be polite I'll just be loving fully yeah yeah it's uh yeah yeah it's uh yeah yeah it's uh it's cool when people let you see that it's cool when people let you see that it's cool when people let you see that in them because some people are really in them because some people are really in them because some people are really like measured like not one drink and like measured like not one drink and like measured like not one drink and then I'm done I don't want it no no no then I'm done I don't want it no no no then I'm done I don't want it no no no no and you're like show me a little more no and you're like show me a little more no and you're like show me a little more and then like it's cool and I never like and then like it's cool and I never like and then like it's cool and I never like I love my favorite moments in the next I love my favorite moments in the next I love my favorite moments in the next morning when they're like did I make an morning when they're like did I make an morning when they're like did I make an ass out of myself and you get to say not ass out of myself and you get to say not ass out of myself and you get to say not at all yeah not at all that's the at all yeah not at all that's the at all yeah not at all that's the coolest thing because some people bad coolest thing because some people bad coolest thing because some people bad people will leverage that over yeah you people will leverage that over yeah you people will leverage that over yeah you can you see it's a bully tactic they'll can you see it's a bully tactic they'll can you see it's a bully tactic they'll leverage that the bad interactions I've leverage that the bad interactions I've leverage that the bad interactions I've had with in this business had with in this business had with in this business that we were talking about earlier that we were talking about earlier that we were talking about earlier they were people that that when you got they were people that that when you got they were people that that when you got fucked up they used it against you yeah fucked up they used it against you yeah fucked up they used it against you yeah they held it over your head and they they held it over your head and they they held it over your head and they said listen man said listen man said listen man I don't know what the fuck but if you I don't know what the fuck but if you I don't know what the fuck but if you want and you're like hold on and then want and you're like hold on and then want and you're like hold on and then and then they made you they Gaslight you and then they made you they Gaslight you and then they made you they Gaslight you into thinking you're the only one that into thinking you're the only one that into thinking you're the only one that was fucked up and you're like okay I was fucked up and you're like okay I was fucked up and you're like okay I guess I know who you are now and I was guess I know who you are now and I was guess I know who you are now and I was like didn't you get fucked up a little like didn't you get fucked up a little like didn't you get fucked up a little bit too yeah like I know we smoked weed

bit too yeah like I know we smoked weed bit too yeah like I know we smoked weed and I thought we ate Xanax but like what and I thought we ate Xanax but like what and I thought we ate Xanax but like what about the I know I had a couple beers about the I know I had a couple beers about the I know I had a couple beers but like I wasn't that fucked up but like I wasn't that fucked up but like I wasn't that fucked up well Whitney's really good at that well Whitney's really good at that well Whitney's really good at that because she's the person I woke up next because she's the person I woke up next because she's the person I woke up next morning and she just she said yeah yeah morning and she just she said yeah yeah morning and she just she said yeah yeah you're wonderful you're eloquent you're you're wonderful you're eloquent you're you're wonderful you're eloquent you're great I I'm sure she was making that up great I I'm sure she was making that up great I I'm sure she was making that up completely it was funny I got blackout completely it was funny I got blackout completely it was funny I got blackout drunk at Whitney's roast of me like drunk at Whitney's roast of me like drunk at Whitney's roast of me like black don't remember any of it and don't black don't remember any of it and don't black don't remember any of it and don't remember any of it don't remember remember any of it don't remember remember any of it don't remember speaking on the microphone I don't speaking on the microphone I don't speaking on the microphone I don't remember talking in the microphone remember talking in the microphone remember talking in the microphone and and I I did the set apparently yeah and and I I did the set apparently yeah and and I I did the set apparently yeah and I said to Whitney like in a real and I said to Whitney like in a real and I said to Whitney like in a real moment of vulnerability Whitney's like a moment of vulnerability Whitney's like a moment of vulnerability Whitney's like a sister to me like a legit sister sister to me like a legit sister sister to me like a legit sister my daughter's call her aunt Whitney my daughter's call her aunt Whitney my daughter's call her aunt Whitney Leanne shook his sister Leanne if she Leanne shook his sister Leanne if she Leanne shook his sister Leanne if she comes over to do a podcast with Neil comes over to do a podcast with Neil comes over to do a podcast with Neil show up an hour early and sit with show up an hour early and sit with show up an hour early and sit with Leanne out in Leon's rose garden and Leanne out in Leon's rose garden and Leanne out in Leon's rose garden and just talk and Whitney I just talk and Whitney I just talk and Whitney I I said the next day I called Whitney and I said the next day I called Whitney and I said the next day I called Whitney and I was getting on a plane I was getting on a plane I was getting on a plane and I was new I was hungover I said how and I was new I was hungover I said how and I was new I was hungover I said how bad was I last night she goes you were bad was I last night she goes you were bad was I last night she goes you were fucking fantastic and just didn't let me fucking fantastic and just didn't let me fucking fantastic and just didn't let me sit with it and then I watched the video sit with it and then I watched the video sit with it and then I watched the video and I was like oh I'm fucking out of and I was like oh I'm fucking out of and I was like oh I'm fucking out of control I was way out of control thank control I was way out of control thank control I was way out of control thank you for lying to me yeah so while being you for lying to me yeah so while being you for lying to me yeah so while being a wild out there comic she's also this a wild out there comic she's also this a wild out there comic she's also this like caring and loving human being she's like caring and loving human being she's like caring and loving human being she's so interesting she is she is the most so interesting she is she is the most so interesting she is she is the most nurturing nurturing nurturing Sensibility Sensibility Sensibility she is you she sends my daughter's gifts she is you she sends my daughter's gifts she is you she sends my daughter's gifts out of nowhere just out of nowhere to out of nowhere just out of nowhere to out of nowhere just out of nowhere to send Georgia gifts up to college it's send Georgia gifts up to college it's send Georgia gifts up to college it's just a gift box like she is just she just a gift box like she is just she just a gift box like she is just she takes care of people that's her love takes care of people that's her love takes care of people that's her love language and she's also the person that

language and she's also the person that language and she's also the person that taught me what what the hell love taught me what what the hell love taught me what what the hell love language even means apparently there's a language even means apparently there's a language even means apparently there's a book and there's like five of them oh book and there's like five of them oh book and there's like five of them oh you and Whitney I would love to sit in you and Whitney I would love to sit in you and Whitney I would love to sit in the fucking room and watch YouTube talk the fucking room and watch YouTube talk the fucking room and watch YouTube talk yeah she has a robot yeah it looks like yeah she has a robot yeah it looks like yeah she has a robot yeah it looks like her her her and um and um and um that's the future that robot I told her that's the future that robot I told her that's the future that robot I told her she should have that robot do porn she should have that robot do porn she should have that robot do porn unless someone fuck that robot and then unless someone fuck that robot and then unless someone fuck that robot and then and she can she get deep faked the face and she can she get deep faked the face and she can she get deep faked the face if she wants but I go if she wants but I go if she wants but I go promote it promote a special that way promote it promote a special that way promote it promote a special that way like a full-on not like Showtime like a full-on not like Showtime like a full-on not like Showtime softcore porn like full-on foreign full softcore porn like full-on foreign full softcore porn like full-on foreign full on like the dude like it's like hi on like the dude like it's like hi on like the dude like it's like hi welcome inside you looked tired do you welcome inside you looked tired do you welcome inside you looked tired do you need a drink yeah oops I'm stuck in the need a drink yeah oops I'm stuck in the need a drink yeah oops I'm stuck in the dryer you know what's the promotion dryer you know what's the promotion dryer you know what's the promotion you're most proud of that you've done you're most proud of that you've done you're most proud of that you've done without a doubt it's got to be what I without a doubt it's got to be what I without a doubt it's got to be what I took dance lessons yeah that was epic took dance lessons yeah that was epic took dance lessons yeah that was epic because I tried to get Joe and Tom and because I tried to get Joe and Tom and because I tried to get Joe and Tom and Ari to do it for sober October I was Ari to do it for sober October I was Ari to do it for sober October I was reading for you and they said no she was reading for you and they said no she was reading for you and they said no she was like absolutely not I knew Joe was gonna like absolutely not I knew Joe was gonna like absolutely not I knew Joe was gonna say no but Joe's a legit dancer like he say no but Joe's a legit dancer like he say no but Joe's a legit dancer like he can legit dance he took like dance can legit dance he took like dance can legit dance he took like dance lessons for a movie and is apparently an lessons for a movie and is apparently an lessons for a movie and is apparently an amazing dancer and so you're right he amazing dancer and so you're right he amazing dancer and so you're right he could have said yes could have said yes could have said yes he could have said yes because I don't he could have said yes because I don't he could have said yes because I don't remember listening to that podcast where remember listening to that podcast where remember listening to that podcast where you really made the pitch yeah and I you really made the pitch yeah and I you really made the pitch yeah and I said we all Take hip-hop dance lessons said we all Take hip-hop dance lessons said we all Take hip-hop dance lessons it's your cardio's through the roof yeah it's your cardio's through the roof yeah it's your cardio's through the roof yeah and and those you do an hour dance loss and and those you do an hour dance loss and and those you do an hour dance loss and then we all do a hip-hop dance and and then we all do a hip-hop dance and and then we all do a hip-hop dance and then we all put our hip top dances then we all put our hip top dances then we all put our hip top dances against each other and we see who has against each other and we see who has against each other and we see who has the best hip-hop dance it's different the best hip-hop dance it's different the best hip-hop dance it's different than the typical stuff we do it's fun

than the typical stuff we do it's fun than the typical stuff we do it's fun and we can also work out we can do and we can also work out we can do and we can also work out we can do everything but like let's do hip-hop everything but like let's do hip-hop everything but like let's do hip-hop dance and Joe Adam Lee was like that's a dance and Joe Adam Lee was like that's a dance and Joe Adam Lee was like that's a horrible idea I will not do that and horrible idea I will not do that and horrible idea I will not do that and then and then Tom and Ari just you know then and then Tom and Ari just you know then and then Tom and Ari just you know just whatever they were like yeah I just whatever they were like yeah I just whatever they were like yeah I started with Joe we'll do something else started with Joe we'll do something else started with Joe we'll do something else and then I was like but I knew I liked and then I was like but I knew I liked and then I was like but I knew I liked hip-hop dance and so I was like I'm hip-hop dance and so I was like I'm hip-hop dance and so I was like I'm Gonna Take hip-hop dance lessons anyway Gonna Take hip-hop dance lessons anyway Gonna Take hip-hop dance lessons anyway I'm gonna just do it over sub October I'm gonna just do it over sub October I'm gonna just do it over sub October and I'm just gonna I'm gonna fucking do and I'm just gonna I'm gonna fucking do and I'm just gonna I'm gonna fucking do it and then maybe maybe I'll do a it and then maybe maybe I'll do a it and then maybe maybe I'll do a hip-hop dance video and then show it to hip-hop dance video and then show it to hip-hop dance video and then show it to them and let them rape me and then we them and let them rape me and then we them and let them rape me and then we did it did it did it and I and it was twelve hundred dollars and I and it was twelve hundred dollars and I and it was twelve hundred dollars and I for hip-hop dance lessons for like and I for hip-hop dance lessons for like and I for hip-hop dance lessons for like a month or whatever for like a couple a month or whatever for like a couple a month or whatever for like a couple weeks weeks weeks and then when we did it I thought you and then when we did it I thought you and then when we did it I thought you know what I bet we could put tour dates know what I bet we could put tour dates know what I bet we could put tour dates next to this because it's it was it next to this because it's it was it next to this because it's it was it turned out being like kind of good but turned out being like kind of good but turned out being like kind of good but kind of funny but we could put tour kind of funny but we could put tour kind of funny but we could put tour dates next to this and it was the dates next to this and it was the dates next to this and it was the beginning of me figuring out the whole beginning of me figuring out the whole beginning of me figuring out the whole like my promos were short and quick and like my promos were short and quick and like my promos were short and quick and they were always like something silly they were always like something silly they were always like something silly what's up guys it's your boy Brooke what's up guys it's your boy Brooke what's up guys it's your boy Brooke Chrysler Chrysler Chrysler and then that one blew up and and then that one blew up and and then that one blew up and immediately I was announcing the tour immediately I was announcing the tour immediately I was announcing the tour and immediately every tour date sold out and immediately every tour date sold out and immediately every tour date sold out and then every we added shows that day and then every we added shows that day and then every we added shows that day we added shows and every one of those we added shows and every one of those we added shows and every one of those sold out and I was like whoa and then sold out and I was like whoa and then sold out and I was like whoa and then Tom was like the fuck was that and I was Tom was like the fuck was that and I was Tom was like the fuck was that and I was like like like I think I just sold out my whole fucking I think I just sold out my whole fucking I think I just sold out my whole fucking tour tour tour and and and and then Tom and then when Tom did his and then Tom and then when Tom did his and then Tom and then when Tom did his one like that and put his tour dates on one like that and put his tour dates on one like that and put his tour dates on it went over the top he sold all his it went over the top he sold all his it went over the top he sold all his tours and and he was like whoa he's like

tours and and he was like whoa he's like tours and and he was like whoa he's like did I sold out every fucking show we've did I sold out every fucking show we've did I sold out every fucking show we've added shows I'm doing like an arena here added shows I'm doing like an arena here added shows I'm doing like an arena here and this is before we were doing Arenas and this is before we were doing Arenas and this is before we were doing Arenas I was like shut the fuck up and that I was like shut the fuck up and that I was like shut the fuck up and that changed my game where I was like all changed my game where I was like all changed my game where I was like all right so everything's got to be right so everything's got to be right so everything's got to be and then and then I was like I don't and then and then I was like I don't and then and then I was like I don't mind spending a little money and then mind spending a little money and then mind spending a little money and then the next one I did was the marching band the next one I did was the marching band the next one I did was the marching band and I was just like and but it was you and I was just like and but it was you and I was just like and but it was you know it's real crazy I just said know it's real crazy I just said know it's real crazy I just said can you guys get me a marching band and can you guys get me a marching band and can you guys get me a marching band and they were like yes like it's like 2400 they were like yes like it's like 2400 they were like yes like it's like 2400 bucks I go cool and they're like what do bucks I go cool and they're like what do bucks I go cool and they're like what do you want them to do and I go I don't you want them to do and I go I don't you want them to do and I go I don't know we'll figure it out and they came know we'll figure it out and they came know we'll figure it out and they came over and they had outfits and they were over and they had outfits and they were over and they had outfits and they were like so where did what do you want us to like so where did what do you want us to like so where did what do you want us to play what song do you guys know and then play what song do you guys know and then play what song do you guys know and then they didn't even know each other they they didn't even know each other they they didn't even know each other they were all hired people and they were like were all hired people and they were like were all hired people and they were like rubber Band Man and I was like oh sure rubber Band Man and I was like oh sure rubber Band Man and I was like oh sure yeah and then we just scripted it out I yeah and then we just scripted it out I yeah and then we just scripted it out I was like all right I'll pretend it's a was like all right I'll pretend it's a was like all right I'll pretend it's a regular thing let's go wait so I'll walk regular thing let's go wait so I'll walk regular thing let's go wait so I'll walk out and then I'll blow a whistle and out and then I'll blow a whistle and out and then I'll blow a whistle and then you come out with the room then you come out with the room then you come out with the room and then and then we should we got like and then and then we should we got like and then and then we should we got like two videos out of that and that sold out two videos out of that and that sold out two videos out of that and that sold out dates and I was like fuck and then and then and then and then and and then and then and then and then and then the real baller one the fucking then the real baller one the fucking then the real baller one the fucking real one the real one was real one the real one was real one the real one was I tore all the muscles in my arm going I tore all the muscles in my arm going I tore all the muscles in my arm going into and do shooting the movie and I into and do shooting the movie and I into and do shooting the movie and I ripped all the tricep muscles off and ripped all the tricep muscles off and ripped all the tricep muscles off and they were retracted so I'd go in for they were retracted so I'd go in for they were retracted so I'd go in for surgery surgery surgery and the anesthesiologist said to me and the anesthesiologist said to me and the anesthesiologist said to me the night before he's like what music do the night before he's like what music do the night before he's like what music do you want going in going under and I was you want going in going under and I was you want going in going under and I was like what he goes you can pick your like what he goes you can pick your like what he goes you can pick your music going under I said wait hold on music going under I said wait hold on music going under I said wait hold on what is it like he go I go is it like what is it like he go I go is it like what is it like he go I go is it like casual and he was like yeah

casual and he was like yeah casual and he was like yeah I said I'm doing a promo read going I said I'm doing a promo read going I said I'm doing a promo read going under he goes what do you mean so I'll under he goes what do you mean so I'll under he goes what do you mean so I'll explain it to you tomorrow but I'm gonna explain it to you tomorrow but I'm gonna explain it to you tomorrow but I'm gonna I'm not gonna count backwards I'm just I'm not gonna count backwards I'm just I'm not gonna count backwards I'm just gonna do a promo read until I pass out gonna do a promo read until I pass out gonna do a promo read until I pass out and my phone's gonna fall on the ground and my phone's gonna fall on the ground and my phone's gonna fall on the ground all I need you to do is hit all I need you to do is hit all I need you to do is hit stop record stop record stop record and and and so they rolled me into surgery I had Red so they rolled me into surgery I had Red so they rolled me into surgery I had Red Rocks I had only sold like 75 of Red Rocks I had only sold like 75 of Red Rocks I had only sold like 75 of Red Rocks which is the biggest ten thousands Rocks which is the biggest ten thousands Rocks which is the biggest ten thousands the biggest venue I'd ever played in and the biggest venue I'd ever played in and the biggest venue I'd ever played in and I rolled in with my thing with CCR I rolled in with my thing with CCR I rolled in with my thing with CCR playing in the background and I just was playing in the background and I just was playing in the background and I just was like as I lay here on this mat or on like as I lay here on this mat or on like as I lay here on this mat or on this steel terrified as I go into this steel terrified as I go into this steel terrified as I go into surgery I want you to know one thing I'm surgery I want you to know one thing I'm surgery I want you to know one thing I'm playing Red Rock September 10th and I playing Red Rock September 10th and I playing Red Rock September 10th and I started doing my promo read and he was started doing my promo read and he was started doing my promo read and he was like yeah I go Jimmy Buffett's there the like yeah I go Jimmy Buffett's there the like yeah I go Jimmy Buffett's there the night before the night after he's like night before the night after he's like night before the night after he's like for real I go yeah you want to come he's for real I go yeah you want to come he's for real I go yeah you want to come he's like hell yeah he's like all right he's like hell yeah he's like all right he's like hell yeah he's like all right he's like you're going under and he hits it I like you're going under and he hits it I like you're going under and he hits it I go through and I drop the phone go through and I drop the phone go through and I drop the phone woke up out of surgery and the first woke up out of surgery and the first woke up out of surgery and the first thing I said is where's my phone and he thing I said is where's my phone and he thing I said is where's my phone and he goes you got it and Leanne's like I've goes you got it and Leanne's like I've goes you got it and Leanne's like I've already watched it it's good and I went already watched it it's good and I went already watched it it's good and I went for real and so like that was a that was for real and so like that was a that was for real and so like that was a that was uh that was a that was a big one that uh that was a that was a big one that uh that was a that was a big one that was a big one too yeah that was genius was a big one too yeah that was genius was a big one too yeah that was genius but that was the sort of opportunity but that was the sort of opportunity but that was the sort of opportunity kind of jumping on an idea have you ever kind of jumping on an idea have you ever kind of jumping on an idea have you ever met Mr Beast Jimmy no met Mr Beast Jimmy no met Mr Beast Jimmy no so he he's I got to hang out with him so he he's I got to hang out with him so he he's I got to hang out with him for uh a day and listen to him for uh a day and listen to him for uh a day and listen to him brainstorm with the team ideas yeah he brainstorm with the team ideas yeah he brainstorm with the team ideas yeah he kind of sounds like you but on steroids kind of sounds like you but on steroids kind of sounds like you but on steroids in terms of like in terms of like in terms of like first of all first of all first of all willing to spend any amount of money on willing to spend any amount of money on willing to spend any amount of money on an idea like anything anything is an idea like anything anything is an idea like anything anything is allowed anything is allowed I love that

allowed anything is allowed I love that allowed anything is allowed I love that energy uh the only thing is no like energy uh the only thing is no like energy uh the only thing is no like rated R stuff so he's really trying to rated R stuff so he's really trying to rated R stuff so he's really trying to go like go like go like um for the broader audience for kids and um for the broader audience for kids and um for the broader audience for kids and so on so that's the limitation so you so on so that's the limitation so you so on so that's the limitation so you can't do like most of the ideas that pop can't do like most of the ideas that pop can't do like most of the ideas that pop into my head when anything's allowed into my head when anything's allowed into my head when anything's allowed it's kind of dark yeah but the point is it's kind of dark yeah but the point is it's kind of dark yeah but the point is to really aggressively brainstorm every to really aggressively brainstorm every to really aggressively brainstorm every single day at the Whiteboard like what single day at the Whiteboard like what single day at the Whiteboard like what and he does that for YouTube shorts too and he does that for YouTube shorts too and he does that for YouTube shorts too for one minute videos really it's just for one minute videos really it's just for one minute videos really it's just like really like what is the coolest like really like what is the coolest like really like what is the coolest thing we could possibly do I love that I thing we could possibly do I love that I thing we could possibly do I love that I love that energy and that energy most love that energy and that energy most love that energy and that energy most people don't do that and they should people don't do that and they should people don't do that and they should basically YouTubers do that because basically YouTubers do that because basically YouTubers do that because they're obsessed about this particular they're obsessed about this particular they're obsessed about this particular YouTube algorithm and so on and and YouTube algorithm and so on and and YouTube algorithm and so on and and Jimmy is the best at that but like that Jimmy is the best at that but like that Jimmy is the best at that but like that can benefit you if you're a scientist if can benefit you if you're a scientist if can benefit you if you're a scientist if you're a comedian if you're whatever you're a comedian if you're whatever you're a comedian if you're whatever just go all out it's there's something just go all out it's there's something just go all out it's there's something really fun authentically fun about really fun authentically fun about really fun authentically fun about just coming up with a really stupid idea just coming up with a really stupid idea just coming up with a really stupid idea and just going let's see what happens and just going let's see what happens and just going let's see what happens who gives a fuck we've had those like I who gives a fuck we've had those like I who gives a fuck we've had those like I thought I could catch an arrow one time thought I could catch an arrow one time thought I could catch an arrow one time and and and yeah and my wife's like absolutely yeah and my wife's like absolutely yeah and my wife's like absolutely fucking not like I really think I can I fucking not like I really think I can I fucking not like I really think I can I go let's just get really close shoot it go let's just get really close shoot it go let's just get really close shoot it and then I'll see if I can catch it and and then I'll see if I can catch it and and then I'll see if I can catch it and she's like no that's not what you're she's like no that's not what you're she's like no that's not what you're doing and then my cousin's like hey we doing and then my cousin's like hey we doing and then my cousin's like hey we could cheat it to make you look like you could cheat it to make you look like you could cheat it to make you look like you caught narrow and I went what he was caught narrow and I went what he was caught narrow and I went what he was here just okay let's do it like this and here just okay let's do it like this and here just okay let's do it like this and so we did it and it got sold a ton of so we did it and it got sold a ton of so we did it and it got sold a ton of tickets it looked like I really caught tickets it looked like I really caught tickets it looked like I really caught it everyone knows I didn't catch an it everyone knows I didn't catch an it everyone knows I didn't catch an arrow I mean for the movie we did a arrow I mean for the movie we did a arrow I mean for the movie we did a promo legendary was like you do all the

promo legendary was like you do all the promo legendary was like you do all the promos and we did a promo and I thought promos and we did a promo and I thought promos and we did a promo and I thought I could slide out of my car like Tom I could slide out of my car like Tom I could slide out of my car like Tom Cruise did Cruise did Cruise did in a in a helicopter yeah and with in a in a helicopter yeah and with in a in a helicopter yeah and with roller skates and get behind the car and roller skates and get behind the car and roller skates and get behind the car and then skate behind the car and we just then skate behind the car and we just then skate behind the car and we just ran over my foot and it was real and it ran over my foot and it was real and it ran over my foot and it was real and it was scary but we just caught it all and was scary but we just caught it all and was scary but we just caught it all and in doing it my cousin's like give me the in doing it my cousin's like give me the in doing it my cousin's like give me the read and I'm like duh my movie comes out read and I'm like duh my movie comes out read and I'm like duh my movie comes out Memorial Day Weekend uh I think we have Memorial Day Weekend uh I think we have Memorial Day Weekend uh I think we have to go to the hospital and then we went to go to the hospital and then we went to go to the hospital and then we went to the hospital and I'm in the speedo to the hospital and I'm in the speedo to the hospital and I'm in the speedo with a helmet on one broken roller skate with a helmet on one broken roller skate with a helmet on one broken roller skate and then and then and then and then that did really well and so and then that did really well and so and then that did really well and so like I said the whole thing is just turn like I said the whole thing is just turn like I said the whole thing is just turn the camera on you never know what's the camera on you never know what's the camera on you never know what's gonna fucking happen gonna fucking happen gonna fucking happen and don't be afraid to look stupid and and don't be afraid to look stupid and and don't be afraid to look stupid and all that kind of stuff just go all out all that kind of stuff just go all out all that kind of stuff just go all out fucking ego's the death of Comedy like fucking ego's the death of Comedy like fucking ego's the death of Comedy like when you when you really give like when you when you really give like when you when you really give like if it's hard to be the coolest guy in if it's hard to be the coolest guy in if it's hard to be the coolest guy in the room and still want to be a comedian the room and still want to be a comedian the room and still want to be a comedian is just let yourself be whoever you are is just let yourself be whoever you are is just let yourself be whoever you are and you'll see the great ones they're and you'll see the great ones they're and you'll see the great ones they're like that they don't the you know like that they don't the you know like that they don't the you know they're they're just regular fucking they're they're just regular fucking they're they're just regular fucking dudes and you get some real slick ones dudes and you get some real slick ones dudes and you get some real slick ones like Dave Dave's probably might be the like Dave Dave's probably might be the like Dave Dave's probably might be the coolest guy in the fucking room he might coolest guy in the fucking room he might coolest guy in the fucking room he might really might be yeah but I think that's really might be yeah but I think that's really might be yeah but I think that's just who the fuck he is just who the fuck he is just who the fuck he is who are the outside your close friend who are the outside your close friend who are the outside your close friend group who are the greats to you top five group who are the greats to you top five group who are the greats to you top five outside of my friend group so uh like outside of my friend group so uh like outside of my friend group so uh like for me probably no McDonald's Mitch for me probably no McDonald's Mitch for me probably no McDonald's Mitch Hedberg Hedberg Hedberg George Carlin George Carlin George Carlin Thompson Gore number one oh yeah no Thompson Gore number one oh yeah no Thompson Gore number one oh yeah no I wanted to say that it's an interesting I wanted to say that it's an interesting I wanted to say that it's an interesting pairing No Mitch Hedberg Dave Attell

pairing No Mitch Hedberg Dave Attell pairing No Mitch Hedberg Dave Attell David Patel David everybody deeply David Patel David everybody deeply David Patel David everybody deeply respects David more than even his comedy respects David more than even his comedy respects David more than even his comedy I love this show where he was uh I love this show where he was uh I love this show where he was uh Insomniac insomniac he's so good at just Insomniac insomniac he's so good at just Insomniac insomniac he's so good at just the the natural comedy of human the the natural comedy of human the the natural comedy of human interaction he's a brilliant comic he's interaction he's a brilliant comic he's interaction he's a brilliant comic he's just a brilliant fucking mind just a brilliant fucking mind just a brilliant fucking mind um Norm MacDonald's a fucking genius an um Norm MacDonald's a fucking genius an um Norm MacDonald's a fucking genius an absolute genius absolute genius absolute genius I mean look you know Chappelle and Bill I mean look you know Chappelle and Bill I mean look you know Chappelle and Bill Burr are are the two best in our Burr are are the two best in our Burr are are the two best in our generation in my opinion and that's you generation in my opinion and that's you generation in my opinion and that's you know and that's understanding that like know and that's understanding that like know and that's understanding that like I'm still friends with some of the best I'm still friends with some of the best I'm still friends with some of the best in our generation but like just the way in our generation but like just the way in our generation but like just the way their brains work is really on the next their brains work is really on the next their brains work is really on the next level like you know those are guys Stan level like you know those are guys Stan level like you know those are guys Stan hope is the same way just fucking genius hope is the same way just fucking genius hope is the same way just fucking genius you know Rogan's to grow those are my you know Rogan's to grow those are my you know Rogan's to grow those are my friend group that's my really close friend group that's my really close friend group that's my really close friend group but like those other guys friend group but like those other guys friend group but like those other guys I'm friends with but they're not like I'm friends with but they're not like I'm friends with but they're not like that's like that's like that's like yeah Louis CK bro Louis CK fuck he's yeah Louis CK bro Louis CK fuck he's yeah Louis CK bro Louis CK fuck he's amazing it's hard to do because you amazing it's hard to do because you amazing it's hard to do because you start like forgetting the like people start like forgetting the like people start like forgetting the like people and then it's almost like people go oh and then it's almost like people go oh and then it's almost like people go oh so you didn't like that person you're so you didn't like that person you're so you didn't like that person you're like no I fucking love that person yeah like no I fucking love that person yeah like no I fucking love that person yeah I mean there's uh for me like Robin I mean there's uh for me like Robin I mean there's uh for me like Robin Williams which is a whole nother thing Williams which is a whole nother thing Williams which is a whole nother thing oh yeah Sarah Silverman uh fucking uh I oh yeah Sarah Silverman uh fucking uh I oh yeah Sarah Silverman uh fucking uh I love Janine I mean I'm a fucking big love Janine I mean I'm a fucking big love Janine I mean I'm a fucking big Janine fan I love her brain Marin's Janine fan I love her brain Marin's Janine fan I love her brain Marin's fucking hilarious you know uh Patton's fucking hilarious you know uh Patton's fucking hilarious you know uh Patton's brilliant David Cross I mean there's brilliant David Cross I mean there's brilliant David Cross I mean there's like it's you know it's really to ignore like it's you know it's really to ignore like it's you know it's really to ignore those guys and those guys were like the those guys and those guys were like the those guys and those guys were like the whole Forefront of the alternative whole Forefront of the alternative whole Forefront of the alternative comedy front they're fucking amazing

comedy front they're fucking amazing comedy front they're fucking amazing yeah and the people that have like Marin yeah and the people that have like Marin yeah and the people that have like Marin or Joe that have podcasts is interesting or Joe that have podcasts is interesting or Joe that have podcasts is interesting it's an interesting pairing because you it's an interesting pairing because you it's an interesting pairing because you get to know like everything about them get to know like everything about them get to know like everything about them but then they're also Comedians and I've but then they're also Comedians and I've but then they're also Comedians and I've gotten I've gone to Joe's Club a lot gotten I've gone to Joe's Club a lot gotten I've gone to Joe's Club a lot listen Joe and just that whole group of listen Joe and just that whole group of listen Joe and just that whole group of comics do comedy and go to the same set comics do comedy and go to the same set comics do comedy and go to the same set over and over and over and to see how it over and over and over and to see how it over and over and over and to see how it changes it's really cool it's the changes it's really cool it's the changes it's really cool it's the coolest thing when I first started to coolest thing when I first started to coolest thing when I first started to watch someone I could tell was really watch someone I could tell was really watch someone I could tell was really brilliant at it because you'd watch him brilliant at it because you'd watch him brilliant at it because you'd watch him Tinker with a set yeah and he'd he'd Tinker with a set yeah and he'd he'd Tinker with a set yeah and he'd he'd have an idea like hitting someone over have an idea like hitting someone over have an idea like hitting someone over the head with a hammer from behind and the head with a hammer from behind and the head with a hammer from behind and then he'd work it nine different ways then he'd work it nine different ways then he'd work it nine different ways you know and you'd be like whoa so you know and you'd be like whoa so you know and you'd be like whoa so you're the hitting hammer in the head is you're the hitting hammer in the head is you're the hitting hammer in the head is the thing that he's working on the thing that he's working on the thing that he's working on I hope uh Eddie Murphy comes back I hope uh Eddie Murphy comes back I hope uh Eddie Murphy comes back he's one of the greats Chris Rock Chris he's one of the greats Chris Rock Chris he's one of the greats Chris Rock Chris Rock's fucking bring the pain is like Rock's fucking bring the pain is like Rock's fucking bring the pain is like the reason I got into comedy yeah the reason I got into comedy yeah the reason I got into comedy yeah do you have advice for Young Folks you do you have advice for Young Folks you do you have advice for Young Folks you seem like a stellar example of a seem like a stellar example of a seem like a stellar example of a successful human being successful human being successful human being um or more seriously a very kind of um or more seriously a very kind of um or more seriously a very kind of non-linear life idea of advice for young non-linear life idea of advice for young non-linear life idea of advice for young people in high school and college I people in high school and college I people in high school and college I don't have a a good life they can be don't have a a good life they can be don't have a a good life they can be proud of don't worry too much proud of don't worry too much proud of don't worry too much about what you do when you get older about what you do when you get older about what you do when you get older but when you do start worrying but when you do start worrying but when you do start worrying find the thing you love and it'll never find the thing you love and it'll never find the thing you love and it'll never feel like work feel like work feel like work to fucking I can't imagine what it must to fucking I can't imagine what it must to fucking I can't imagine what it must feel like to be a lawyer and have to feel like to be a lawyer and have to feel like to be a lawyer and have to read papers or whatever they do all day

read papers or whatever they do all day read papers or whatever they do all day and know that that's my day yeah I mean and know that that's my day yeah I mean and know that that's my day yeah I mean it must feel like what I what school it must feel like what I what school it must feel like what I what school felt like for me felt like for me felt like for me if you find that thing you love to do if you find that thing you love to do if you find that thing you love to do you will work endlessly effortlessly and you will work endlessly effortlessly and you will work endlessly effortlessly and hard as fucking shit every day and hard as fucking shit every day and hard as fucking shit every day and you'll love every day of your life fine you'll love every day of your life fine you'll love every day of your life fine when you love and let it kill you when you love and let it kill you when you love and let it kill you Bukowski said that for then that's the Bukowski said that for then that's the Bukowski said that for then that's the fucking thing because that's what I'm fucking thing because that's what I'm fucking thing because that's what I'm doing I'm gonna fucking take I'm I'm doing I'm gonna fucking take I'm I'm doing I'm gonna fucking take I'm I'm fucking I'm I'm on that fucking bullet fucking I'm I'm on that fucking bullet fucking I'm I'm on that fucking bullet train to fucking nowhere on this fucking train to fucking nowhere on this fucking train to fucking nowhere on this fucking comedy journey I love it I love it so comedy journey I love it I love it so comedy journey I love it I love it so it's like the Hunter S Thompson thing it's like the Hunter S Thompson thing it's like the Hunter S Thompson thing what is it however you put it he what is it however you put it he what is it however you put it he basically you're not supposed to be uh basically you're not supposed to be uh basically you're not supposed to be uh end up in a well-preserved box you slide end up in a well-preserved box you slide end up in a well-preserved box you slide it in sideways smoke just beat up yeah it in sideways smoke just beat up yeah it in sideways smoke just beat up yeah just just a giant mess I love I love just just a giant mess I love I love just just a giant mess I love I love those guys that can really live that those guys that can really live that those guys that can really live that life that are like yeah man I'm breaking life that are like yeah man I'm breaking life that are like yeah man I'm breaking it I'm breaking it down like a guy like it I'm breaking it down like a guy like it I'm breaking it down like a guy like Tony Hawk or Matt Hoffman who like yeah Tony Hawk or Matt Hoffman who like yeah Tony Hawk or Matt Hoffman who like yeah if I if I don't fucking break the fuck if I if I don't fucking break the fuck if I if I don't fucking break the fuck out of this thing before I I'm then I'm out of this thing before I I'm then I'm out of this thing before I I'm then I'm not doing it right then again there's not doing it right then again there's not doing it right then again there's also Churchill who tried to break the also Churchill who tried to break the also Churchill who tried to break the thing and he couldn't lived into his 90s thing and he couldn't lived into his 90s thing and he couldn't lived into his 90s a bad motherfucker just a bad a bad motherfucker just a bad a bad motherfucker just a bad motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker so I guess the only hope we can have for so I guess the only hope we can have for so I guess the only hope we can have for bird Chrysler is that you're going to be bird Chrysler is that you're going to be bird Chrysler is that you're going to be the Winston Churchill of Comedy my life the Winston Churchill of Comedy my life the Winston Churchill of Comedy my life has lived perfectly has lived perfectly has lived perfectly if I'm 95 years old and All My Friends if I'm 95 years old and All My Friends if I'm 95 years old and All My Friends Are Dead yeah Are Dead yeah Are Dead yeah they're like they're like can you they're like they're like can you they're like they're like can you believe that wolf got Rogan yeah can you

believe that wolf got Rogan yeah can you believe that wolf got Rogan yeah can you believe sagura 600 pounds and they had believe sagura 600 pounds and they had believe sagura 600 pounds and they had to carry him out in a crane out of that to carry him out in a crane out of that to carry him out in a crane out of that house house house can you believe that it's just Burt can you believe that it's just Burt can you believe that it's just Burt Chrysler and Joey Diaz laughing Chrysler and Joey Diaz laughing Chrysler and Joey Diaz laughing just standing there in October October just standing there in October October just standing there in October October just the two of you left just laughing just the two of you left just laughing just the two of you left just laughing October is just I'm 95 at the Mark Twain October is just I'm 95 at the Mark Twain October is just I'm 95 at the Mark Twain Awards and they're like Bert Chrysler Awards and they're like Bert Chrysler Awards and they're like Bert Chrysler still fucking here who saw that coming still fucking here who saw that coming still fucking here who saw that coming I hope so Bert I'm a huge fan of yours I hope so Bert I'm a huge fan of yours I hope so Bert I'm a huge fan of yours it meant so much to me when you said it meant so much to me when you said it meant so much to me when you said that you knew who I was like we were that you knew who I was like we were that you knew who I was like we were talking about it just it's so cool it's talking about it just it's so cool it's talking about it just it's so cool it's so cool thank you for putting so much so cool thank you for putting so much so cool thank you for putting so much joy and love out there in the world I'm joy and love out there in the world I'm joy and love out there in the world I'm a huge fan and thank you for the love a huge fan and thank you for the love a huge fan and thank you for the love you've given me thank you man I am a you've given me thank you man I am a you've given me thank you man I am a huge fan of yours you keep doing you huge fan of yours you keep doing you huge fan of yours you keep doing you I'll keep doing me and then let's see if I'll keep doing me and then let's see if I'll keep doing me and then let's see if we can meet in the middle sometime we can meet in the middle sometime we can meet in the middle sometime having cold beer in the afternoon love having cold beer in the afternoon love having cold beer in the afternoon love you brother love you you brother love you you brother love you thanks for listening to this thanks for listening to this thanks for listening to this conversation with Bert Kreischer to conversation with Bert Kreischer to conversation with Bert Kreischer to support this podcast please check out support this podcast please check out support this podcast please check out our sponsors in the description and now our sponsors in the description and now our sponsors in the description and now let me leave you some words from Hunter let me leave you some words from Hunter let me leave you some words from Hunter S Thompson S Thompson S Thompson life should not be a journey to the life should not be a journey to the life should not be a journey to the Grave with the intention of arriving Grave with the intention of arriving Grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved safely in a pretty and well-preserved safely in a pretty and well-preserved body but rather to Skid in broadside in body but rather to Skid in broadside in body but rather to Skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke thoroughly used up a cloud of smoke thoroughly used up a cloud of smoke thoroughly used up totally worn out and loudly proclaiming totally worn out and loudly proclaiming totally worn out and loudly proclaiming wow what a ride wow what a ride wow what a ride thank you for listening I hope to see thank you for listening I hope to see thank you for listening I hope to see you next time