C.S. Lewis’ Chilling Warning About Love We Chose to Ignore

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrong anything and your heart will be wrong anything and your heart will be wrong and possibly broken. If you want to make and possibly broken. If you want to make and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give sure of keeping it intact, you must give sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and it carefully around with hobbies and it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries and avoid all little luxuries and avoid all little luxuries and avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the entanglements. Lock it up safe in the entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your own casket or coffin of your own casket or coffin of your own selfishness. But in that casket, safe, selfishness. But in that casket, safe, selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless place, it will dark, motionless, airless place, it will dark, motionless, airless place, it will change. It will not be broken. It will change. It will not be broken. It will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, become unbreakable, impenetrable, become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love, ladies and irredeemable. To love, ladies and irredeemable. To love, ladies and gentlemen, is to be vulnerable. How spot gentlemen, is to be vulnerable. How spot gentlemen, is to be vulnerable. How spot on is CS Lewis here? You know, when you on is CS Lewis here? You know, when you on is CS Lewis here? You know, when you meet someone beautiful, when you fall in meet someone beautiful, when you fall in meet someone beautiful, when you fall in love, you're at a place where your body love, you're at a place where your body love, you're at a place where your body wants to give yourself to them. But wants to give yourself to them. But wants to give yourself to them. But there's the fear that when you give there's the fear that when you give there's the fear that when you give yourself to them, when you share the yourself to them, when you share the yourself to them, when you share the parts of you you want no one to see, not parts of you you want no one to see, not parts of you you want no one to see, not even your parents, not even your family, even your parents, not even your family, even your parents, not even your family, when you share that, you are given the when you share that, you are given the when you share that, you are given the risk that they might look at you in risk that they might look at you in risk that they might look at you in disgust. They might look at you in disgust. They might look at you in disgust. They might look at you in shame. They might look at you and reject shame. They might look at you and reject shame. They might look at you and reject you and reject your love. And you might you and reject your love. And you might you and reject your love. And you might lose that person. And that is what it lose that person. And that is what it lose that person. And that is what it means to be vulnerable. given a piece of means to be vulnerable. given a piece of means to be vulnerable. given a piece of yourself that could blossom to a yourself that could blossom to a yourself that could blossom to a beautiful flower to a beautiful tree but beautiful flower to a beautiful tree but beautiful flower to a beautiful tree but could also be the thing that destroys could also be the thing that destroys could also be the thing that destroys you. You know when you see two people you. You know when you see two people you. You know when you see two people truly in love when that love is broken truly in love when that love is broken truly in love when that love is broken it is heart-wrenching. It hurts. It is it is heart-wrenching. It hurts. It is it is heart-wrenching. It hurts. It is screaming agony. And you know as CS

screaming agony. And you know as CS screaming agony. And you know as CS Lewis famously says you know God Lewis famously says you know God Lewis famously says you know God whispers in our pleasures and shouts in whispers in our pleasures and shouts in whispers in our pleasures and shouts in our pains to rouse a death world. And we our pains to rouse a death world. And we our pains to rouse a death world. And we can learn so much from CS Lewis and what can learn so much from CS Lewis and what can learn so much from CS Lewis and what it truly means to love because he loved it truly means to love because he loved it truly means to love because he loved so much. He loved humanity and he truly so much. He loved humanity and he truly so much. He loved humanity and he truly loved and believed that Jesus of loved and believed that Jesus of loved and believed that Jesus of Nazareth was the son of God who loved us Nazareth was the son of God who loved us Nazareth was the son of God who loved us so we could love others. And I I always so we could love others. And I I always so we could love others. And I I always whenever I read CS Lewis I feel alive. I whenever I read CS Lewis I feel alive. I whenever I read CS Lewis I feel alive. I feel like he is kind of hitting a wire feel like he is kind of hitting a wire feel like he is kind of hitting a wire of truth making words come alive. You of truth making words come alive. You of truth making words come alive. You know, even the basic imagery he uses know, even the basic imagery he uses know, even the basic imagery he uses like in the great divorce or the screw like in the great divorce or the screw like in the great divorce or the screw tape ladders, it just blows my world. tape ladders, it just blows my world. tape ladders, it just blows my world. And to anyone who is who is young or And to anyone who is who is young or And to anyone who is who is young or just doesn't even know what love is, all just doesn't even know what love is, all just doesn't even know what love is, all I can say is, ladies and gentlemen, read I can say is, ladies and gentlemen, read I can say is, ladies and gentlemen, read the Bible, but also read CS Lewis the Bible, but also read CS Lewis the Bible, but also read CS Lewis because he has a way of putting things because he has a way of putting things because he has a way of putting things that just make words come alive like that just make words come alive like that just make words come alive like nobody I've ever read in my life. And nobody I've ever read in my life. And nobody I've ever read in my life. And this is a man ladies and gentlemen who this is a man ladies and gentlemen who this is a man ladies and gentlemen who really did believe what he said and really did believe what he said and really did believe what he said and really did live a life of love but also really did live a life of love but also really did live a life of love but also an immense life of hurt. You know an immense life of hurt. You know an immense life of hurt. You know famously when he was a kid his dad died famously when he was a kid his dad died famously when he was a kid his dad died of cancer and it no sorry his mom died of cancer and it no sorry his mom died of cancer and it no sorry his mom died of cancer and it broke him his brother of cancer and it broke him his brother of cancer and it broke him his brother and his dad and then you know he went to and his dad and then you know he went to and his dad and then you know he went to war. He experienced horrors. He saw his war. He experienced horrors. He saw his war. He experienced horrors. He saw his best mate blown up in front of him. You best mate blown up in front of him. You best mate blown up in front of him. You know he came back from war. He then know he came back from war. He then know he came back from war. He then became a Christian. Then his dad died of became a Christian. Then his dad died of became a Christian. Then his dad died of cancer. And then at the end of his life, cancer. And then at the end of his life, cancer. And then at the end of his life, I believe around his 60s, he met Joy I believe around his 60s, he met Joy I believe around his 60s, he met Joy Davidson, the American poet who was in

Davidson, the American poet who was in Davidson, the American poet who was in an abusive relationship, got divorced, an abusive relationship, got divorced, an abusive relationship, got divorced, then married her, fell in love with her, then married her, fell in love with her, then married her, fell in love with her, and then she died of cancer. And the and then she died of cancer. And the and then she died of cancer. And the pain and agony CS Lewis experienced pain and agony CS Lewis experienced pain and agony CS Lewis experienced throughout his life really add so much throughout his life really add so much throughout his life really add so much weight to what it really means to love. weight to what it really means to love. weight to what it really means to love. and let's actually hear more of the and let's actually hear more of the and let's actually hear more of the wisdom of this man because there is not wisdom of this man because there is not wisdom of this man because there is not many people I respect more throughout many people I respect more throughout many people I respect more throughout history than CS Lewis. I am too much of history than CS Lewis. I am too much of history than CS Lewis. I am too much of a fanboy if anything. Um, and I think a fanboy if anything. Um, and I think a fanboy if anything. Um, and I think the way he describes love we can learn the way he describes love we can learn the way he describes love we can learn so much from. So here we go. Another so much from. So here we go. Another so much from. So here we go. Another quote from CS Lewis. Love in the quote from CS Lewis. Love in the quote from CS Lewis. Love in the Christian sense does not mean an Christian sense does not mean an Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the emotion. It is a state not of the emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will. that state of feelings but of the will. that state of feelings but of the will. that state of the will which we have naturally about the will which we have naturally about the will which we have naturally about ourselves and must learn to have about ourselves and must learn to have about ourselves and must learn to have about other people. So what he's saying here other people. So what he's saying here other people. So what he's saying here is very much love one another as I have is very much love one another as I have is very much love one another as I have loved you. You know treat your neighbor loved you. You know treat your neighbor loved you. You know treat your neighbor with the same love you treat yourself. with the same love you treat yourself. with the same love you treat yourself. And there's so much biblical kind of And there's so much biblical kind of And there's so much biblical kind of connotations in what he's saying here connotations in what he's saying here connotations in what he's saying here because as humans it's so easy to think because as humans it's so easy to think because as humans it's so easy to think of ourselves. You know the default of ourselves. You know the default of ourselves. You know the default perspective to anything is to think of perspective to anything is to think of perspective to anything is to think of ourselves. Even the kindest people out ourselves. Even the kindest people out ourselves. Even the kindest people out of history probably 80% of the time of history probably 80% of the time of history probably 80% of the time they're thinking about themselves. But they're thinking about themselves. But they're thinking about themselves. But what he's saying here is the natural way what he's saying here is the natural way what he's saying here is the natural way we absorb ourselves, our own selfishness we absorb ourselves, our own selfishness we absorb ourselves, our own selfishness and ourselves, we must learn to love our and ourselves, we must learn to love our and ourselves, we must learn to love our fellow wife, spouse the same. And that fellow wife, spouse the same. And that fellow wife, spouse the same. And that is such a massive deal if you really is such a massive deal if you really is such a massive deal if you really think about how much you think about

think about how much you think about think about how much you think about yourself, how much you think about your yourself, how much you think about your yourself, how much you think about your needs, how much you think about your needs, how much you think about your needs, how much you think about your wants, your desires. May that be sex, wants, your desires. May that be sex, wants, your desires. May that be sex, may that be making food, may that be may that be making food, may that be may that be making food, may that be cleaning or whatever. He's saying that cleaning or whatever. He's saying that cleaning or whatever. He's saying that we must transcend this to think of the we must transcend this to think of the we must transcend this to think of the other person just as much as ourselves. other person just as much as ourselves. other person just as much as ourselves. And that is the ideal of what it means And that is the ideal of what it means And that is the ideal of what it means to love. And I think CS Lewis also has a to love. And I think CS Lewis also has a to love. And I think CS Lewis also has a magic in the way he speaks about what magic in the way he speaks about what magic in the way he speaks about what sex really means. And here here's sex really means. And here here's sex really means. And here here's another fantastic quote by CS Lewis. Joy another fantastic quote by CS Lewis. Joy another fantastic quote by CS Lewis. Joy is not a substitute for sex, but sex is is not a substitute for sex, but sex is is not a substitute for sex, but sex is very often a substitute for joy. I very often a substitute for joy. I very often a substitute for joy. I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures sometimes wonder whether all pleasures sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy. And what a are not substitutes for joy. And what a are not substitutes for joy. And what a way of putting it, you know, how often way of putting it, you know, how often way of putting it, you know, how often do we indulge in our pleasures? May that do we indulge in our pleasures? May that do we indulge in our pleasures? May that be sex, may that be masturbation, may be sex, may that be masturbation, may be sex, may that be masturbation, may that be fast food, may that be alcohol, that be fast food, may that be alcohol, that be fast food, may that be alcohol, drugs, whatever it is, we crave joy. We drugs, whatever it is, we crave joy. We drugs, whatever it is, we crave joy. We crave even if it even if what we do we crave even if it even if what we do we crave even if it even if what we do we know is wrong and in the long run will know is wrong and in the long run will know is wrong and in the long run will be detrimental to us. we kind of delude be detrimental to us. we kind of delude be detrimental to us. we kind of delude ourselves in this fallacy of narcissism ourselves in this fallacy of narcissism ourselves in this fallacy of narcissism that we can kind of that glimmer of joy that we can kind of that glimmer of joy that we can kind of that glimmer of joy that we will experience there will be that we will experience there will be that we will experience there will be better than what God and Jesus has to better than what God and Jesus has to better than what God and Jesus has to offer. We delude ourselves. We get offer. We delude ourselves. We get offer. We delude ourselves. We get trapped into the cycle of we know best.

trapped into the cycle of we know best. trapped into the cycle of we know best. And that's why CS Lewis talked about, And that's why CS Lewis talked about, And that's why CS Lewis talked about, you know, giving your whole self, you know, giving your whole self, you know, giving your whole self, nothing but yourself to Jesus with all nothing but yourself to Jesus with all nothing but yourself to Jesus with all your trust, with all your securities, your trust, with all your securities, your trust, with all your securities, with every hope you have is one of the with every hope you have is one of the with every hope you have is one of the most difficult things to possibly do. most difficult things to possibly do. most difficult things to possibly do. And how true is he here? You know, we we And how true is he here? You know, we we And how true is he here? You know, we we crave pleasure. We cra we crave joy. We crave pleasure. We cra we crave joy. We crave pleasure. We cra we crave joy. We crave to be happy. And we almost know we crave to be happy. And we almost know we crave to be happy. And we almost know we will be happy. We know that being kind will be happy. We know that being kind will be happy. We know that being kind to people will make us happy. We know to people will make us happy. We know to people will make us happy. We know that actually, you know, speaking to our that actually, you know, speaking to our that actually, you know, speaking to our fellow brother and sister with as much fellow brother and sister with as much fellow brother and sister with as much love, patience and joy and forgiveness love, patience and joy and forgiveness love, patience and joy and forgiveness as we give ourselves. We know that that as we give ourselves. We know that that as we give ourselves. We know that that will be the route to joy. you know that will be the route to joy. you know that will be the route to joy. you know that exercising that um doing things that are exercising that um doing things that are exercising that um doing things that are not just selfish desires but helping not just selfish desires but helping not just selfish desires but helping people is the way to heaven. The way to people is the way to heaven. The way to people is the way to heaven. The way to heaven is heaven as I've spoke about heaven is heaven as I've spoke about heaven is heaven as I've spoke about many times. We know that yet we don't do many times. We know that yet we don't do many times. We know that yet we don't do it. And I think this is very very it. And I think this is very very it. And I think this is very very insightful and it's it's what he speaks insightful and it's it's what he speaks insightful and it's it's what he speaks about when he says you know God whispers about when he says you know God whispers about when he says you know God whispers in our pleasures. You know, the the in our pleasures. You know, the the in our pleasures. You know, the the hintering is is that even a word of joy hintering is is that even a word of joy hintering is is that even a word of joy and love we feel when we experience the and love we feel when we experience the and love we feel when we experience the euphoria of a pleasure is like it's like euphoria of a pleasure is like it's like euphoria of a pleasure is like it's like God's whispering there. He's giving you God's whispering there. He's giving you God's whispering there. He's giving you an insight to the heavenly realm, to the an insight to the heavenly realm, to the an insight to the heavenly realm, to the afterlife, whatever it is. It's so afterlife, whatever it is. It's so afterlife, whatever it is. It's so complex. I don't even know what I'm complex. I don't even know what I'm complex. I don't even know what I'm talking about here. But here's another talking about here. But here's another talking about here. But here's another thing which I think CS Lewis nails in thing which I think CS Lewis nails in thing which I think CS Lewis nails in the sense that when we go about looking the sense that when we go about looking the sense that when we go about looking for love, when we force love, we often, for love, when we force love, we often, for love, when we force love, we often, I think, try and force a fantasy that I think, try and force a fantasy that I think, try and force a fantasy that isn't true. Now, I'm I'm a 22-y old isn't true. Now, I'm I'm a 22-y old isn't true. Now, I'm I'm a 22-y old bloke who's not in a relationship. I

bloke who's not in a relationship. I bloke who's not in a relationship. I have had a girlfriend before, so I'm not have had a girlfriend before, so I'm not have had a girlfriend before, so I'm not one to speak it. But what I will say is one to speak it. But what I will say is one to speak it. But what I will say is I've spoke to monks, I've spoke to I've spoke to monks, I've spoke to I've spoke to monks, I've spoke to priests, I've spoke to people who have priests, I've spoke to people who have priests, I've spoke to people who have married in amazing relationships. And married in amazing relationships. And married in amazing relationships. And one thing they tell me often is that one thing they tell me often is that one thing they tell me often is that when it's easy, when it's not forced, when it's easy, when it's not forced, when it's easy, when it's not forced, that's when you know and the gut feeling that's when you know and the gut feeling that's when you know and the gut feeling you have. You know, you go with your you have. You know, you go with your you have. You know, you go with your instincts. You're not trying to condense instincts. You're not trying to condense instincts. You're not trying to condense something into a box. And I think this something into a box. And I think this something into a box. And I think this perfectly summarizes perfectly summarizes perfectly summarizes that quite well. So CS Lewis says, "Joy that quite well. So CS Lewis says, "Joy that quite well. So CS Lewis says, "Joy bursts into our lives when we go about bursts into our lives when we go about bursts into our lives when we go about doing the good at hand and not trying to doing the good at hand and not trying to doing the good at hand and not trying to manipulate things and times to achieve manipulate things and times to achieve manipulate things and times to achieve joy." Now, there's so much truth in joy." Now, there's so much truth in joy." Now, there's so much truth in this. You know, the if you're trying to this. You know, the if you're trying to this. You know, the if you're trying to cram in love for someone, if you're cram in love for someone, if you're cram in love for someone, if you're trying to cram in a view of them that trying to cram in a view of them that trying to cram in a view of them that they're something that they're not, you they're something that they're not, you they're something that they're not, you know, it will not produce joy. But he's know, it will not produce joy. But he's know, it will not produce joy. But he's saying here that the natural kind of saying here that the natural kind of saying here that the natural kind of aroma and tango of what it means to love aroma and tango of what it means to love aroma and tango of what it means to love will produce joy. when you don't need to will produce joy. when you don't need to will produce joy. when you don't need to manipulate things, when you don't need manipulate things, when you don't need manipulate things, when you don't need to box things in, they are blossoming. to box things in, they are blossoming. to box things in, they are blossoming. They are fruitful within themselves. You They are fruitful within themselves. You They are fruitful within themselves. You know, if you know, you know, and you know, if you know, you know, and you know, if you know, you know, and you know, I've experienced myself boxing know, I've experienced myself boxing know, I've experienced myself boxing things in things I want to be true things in things I want to be true things in things I want to be true rather than things that are true. And rather than things that are true. And rather than things that are true. And this is CS Lewis's whole theology in a this is CS Lewis's whole theology in a this is CS Lewis's whole theology in a way. You know, he famously didn't almost way. You know, he famously didn't almost way. You know, he famously didn't almost want to be a Christian. He didn't want want to be a Christian. He didn't want want to be a Christian. He didn't want it to be true. He spoke to the historian it to be true. He spoke to the historian it to be true. He spoke to the historian at Oxford who was an atheist and he at Oxford who was an atheist and he at Oxford who was an atheist and he said, "There is some credibility to the said, "There is some credibility to the said, "There is some credibility to the Gospels. It could be true." you know his Gospels. It could be true." you know his Gospels. It could be true." you know his walk with Tolken this is the myth that walk with Tolken this is the myth that walk with Tolken this is the myth that actually is true you know all the actually is true you know all the actually is true you know all the evidence pointed one way and he did evidence pointed one way and he did evidence pointed one way and he did become a follower of our Lord Jesus become a follower of our Lord Jesus become a follower of our Lord Jesus Christ and there's so much truth in this

Christ and there's so much truth in this Christ and there's so much truth in this and I think we can really take that when and I think we can really take that when and I think we can really take that when we meet someone you know our first we meet someone you know our first we meet someone you know our first reaction to when we meet someone we must reaction to when we meet someone we must reaction to when we meet someone we must listen to our heart there we must listen listen to our heart there we must listen listen to our heart there we must listen to the gut reaction of when you meet to the gut reaction of when you meet to the gut reaction of when you meet someone and you think oh they're a bit someone and you think oh they're a bit someone and you think oh they're a bit arrogant or oh they're a bit selfish or arrogant or oh they're a bit selfish or arrogant or oh they're a bit selfish or maybe you think wow what an insightful maybe you think wow what an insightful maybe you think wow what an insightful thing I want to know more about and thing I want to know more about and thing I want to know more about and follow that. See where it leads. Again, follow that. See where it leads. Again, follow that. See where it leads. Again, what wisdom here from CS Lewis and here what wisdom here from CS Lewis and here what wisdom here from CS Lewis and here we have another incredible quote by him. we have another incredible quote by him. we have another incredible quote by him. It would seem that our Lord finds our It would seem that our Lord finds our It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We desires not too strong but too weak. We desires not too strong but too weak. We are half high creatures fooling about are half high creatures fooling about are half high creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when with drink and sex and ambition when with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us like an infinite joy is offered to us like an infinite joy is offered to us like an ignorant child who wants to go on making ignorant child who wants to go on making ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot mud pies in a slum because he cannot mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a imagine what is meant by the offer of a imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. we are far too easily holiday at sea. we are far too easily holiday at sea. we are far too easily pleased. And what an incredible quote. pleased. And what an incredible quote. pleased. And what an incredible quote. He's not saying there that our desires He's not saying there that our desires He's not saying there that our desires are so strong that we can't overcome are so strong that we can't overcome are so strong that we can't overcome them. He's saying that our desires are them. He's saying that our desires are them. He's saying that our desires are too weak and he inverts it. You know, too weak and he inverts it. You know, too weak and he inverts it. You know, very often we can kind of delude very often we can kind of delude very often we can kind of delude ourselves when we want something that ourselves when we want something that ourselves when we want something that well if we get this we'll be happy. I well if we get this we'll be happy. I well if we get this we'll be happy. I mean, how many times has someone had a mean, how many times has someone had a mean, how many times has someone had a birthday when they were younger and they birthday when they were younger and they birthday when they were younger and they think if they get this object they're think if they get this object they're think if they get this object they're going to be happy. And the truth is our going to be happy. And the truth is our going to be happy. And the truth is our desires and what we really want is so desires and what we really want is so desires and what we really want is so pathetic and weak very often that we pathetic and weak very often that we pathetic and weak very often that we would actually much prefer to be in would actually much prefer to be in would actually much prefer to be in control and have these weak things that control and have these weak things that control and have these weak things that won't fulfill us than to crave what is won't fulfill us than to crave what is won't fulfill us than to crave what is truly good. And truly good things truly good. And truly good things truly good. And truly good things obviously do take a very very long time.

obviously do take a very very long time. obviously do take a very very long time. And CS Lewis, the way he describes Joy And CS Lewis, the way he describes Joy And CS Lewis, the way he describes Joy Davidson in a grief observed is such a Davidson in a grief observed is such a Davidson in a grief observed is such a beautiful book. I'd highly suggest it. beautiful book. I'd highly suggest it. beautiful book. I'd highly suggest it. Also, if you're not a big reader, it's Also, if you're not a big reader, it's Also, if you're not a big reader, it's 7078 pages. I'd highly suggest giving a 7078 pages. I'd highly suggest giving a 7078 pages. I'd highly suggest giving a read. But he really knew what it meant read. But he really knew what it meant read. But he really knew what it meant to love and the way he describes that is to love and the way he describes that is to love and the way he describes that is just so so beautiful. And also watch just so so beautiful. And also watch just so so beautiful. And also watch Shadowlands if you're not a reader. But Shadowlands if you're not a reader. But Shadowlands if you're not a reader. But um this is what he says about marriage. um this is what he says about marriage. um this is what he says about marriage. The Christian idea of marriage is based The Christian idea of marriage is based The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ's words that a man and wife on Christ's words that a man and wife on Christ's words that a man and wife are to be regarded as a single organism are to be regarded as a single organism are to be regarded as a single organism for that is what the world's one flesh for that is what the world's one flesh for that is what the world's one flesh would be in modern English. And that the would be in modern English. And that the would be in modern English. And that the Christians believe that when he said Christians believe that when he said Christians believe that when he said that he was not expressing a sentiment, that he was not expressing a sentiment, that he was not expressing a sentiment, but he was instead expressing a fact. but he was instead expressing a fact. but he was instead expressing a fact. Just as one is stating a fact when one Just as one is stating a fact when one Just as one is stating a fact when one says that a lock and its key are one says that a lock and its key are one says that a lock and its key are one mechanism or that a violin and a bow are mechanism or that a violin and a bow are mechanism or that a violin and a bow are one musical instrument. What a beautiful one musical instrument. What a beautiful one musical instrument. What a beautiful way of saying that. He's saying that way of saying that. He's saying that way of saying that. He's saying that when you are married, you are one when you are married, you are one when you are married, you are one together. There is no me and you. No, together. There is no me and you. No, together. There is no me and you. No, you are one. Just like a violin playing you are one. Just like a violin playing you are one. Just like a violin playing an instrument, the bow, the strings, the an instrument, the bow, the strings, the an instrument, the bow, the strings, the chords, you are all one together. And chords, you are all one together. And chords, you are all one together. And what a truly beautiful way of putting what a truly beautiful way of putting what a truly beautiful way of putting marriage and it's such countercultural marriage and it's such countercultural marriage and it's such countercultural to now because now marriage is very much to now because now marriage is very much to now because now marriage is very much looked upon well what's good for me what looked upon well what's good for me what looked upon well what's good for me what do I want what can I get out of this if do I want what can I get out of this if do I want what can I get out of this if I don't like it let me get divorce you I don't like it let me get divorce you I don't like it let me get divorce you know 50% divorce rate but he's saying no know 50% divorce rate but he's saying no know 50% divorce rate but he's saying no you are one there is no me there is only you are one there is no me there is only you are one there is no me there is only us and as Jesus says you know when he us and as Jesus says you know when he us and as Jesus says you know when he speaks about marriage the the disciples speaks about marriage the the disciples speaks about marriage the the disciples say well why would anyone get married say well why would anyone get married say well why would anyone get married and Jesus pretty much said to anyone who

and Jesus pretty much said to anyone who and Jesus pretty much said to anyone who dares and he made it very clear that dares and he made it very clear that dares and he made it very clear that marriage is so sacred and also so marriage is so sacred and also so marriage is so sacred and also so unbelievably difficult that may no man unbelievably difficult that may no man unbelievably difficult that may no man you know break apart what God has put you know break apart what God has put you know break apart what God has put together and that's why it's so together and that's why it's so together and that's why it's so important the blessing of God you know important the blessing of God you know important the blessing of God you know coming together as one now this is from coming together as one now this is from coming together as one now this is from someone who again not married don't even someone who again not married don't even someone who again not married don't even have a girlfriend so take this with a have a girlfriend so take this with a have a girlfriend so take this with a grain of salt in some ways but do take grain of salt in some ways but do take grain of salt in some ways but do take on CS Lewis because this man really knew on CS Lewis because this man really knew on CS Lewis because this man really knew what love was um and CS Lewis the way he what love was um and CS Lewis the way he what love was um and CS Lewis the way he speaks about emotion about our fleeting speaks about emotion about our fleeting speaks about emotion about our fleeting emotions. You know, you meet someone, emotions. You know, you meet someone, emotions. You know, you meet someone, they're the amazing thing, they're the they're the amazing thing, they're the they're the amazing thing, they're the best thing since sliced bread and very best thing since sliced bread and very best thing since sliced bread and very quickly we can kind of just run about to quickly we can kind of just run about to quickly we can kind of just run about to that feeling. And you see this often that feeling. And you see this often that feeling. And you see this often when people have short-term relations be when people have short-term relations be when people have short-term relations be 6 months and then they break up. very 6 months and then they break up. very 6 months and then they break up. very often I I know a lot of people they'll often I I know a lot of people they'll often I I know a lot of people they'll get together for someone 6 months 7 get together for someone 6 months 7 get together for someone 6 months 7 months then they'll break off because months then they'll break off because months then they'll break off because when they get to the real love when they when they get to the real love when they when they get to the real love when they feel find the real person they always feel find the real person they always feel find the real person they always reject it because their fantasies are reject it because their fantasies are reject it because their fantasies are controlling them not the reality not the controlling them not the reality not the controlling them not the reality not the truth and again CS Lewis quote after truth and again CS Lewis quote after truth and again CS Lewis quote after quote here the promise made when I am in quote here the promise made when I am in quote here the promise made when I am in love and because I am in love to be true love and because I am in love to be true love and because I am in love to be true to be beloved as long as I live commits to be beloved as long as I live commits to be beloved as long as I live commits me to being true even if I cease to be me to being true even if I cease to be me to being true even if I cease to be in love. Here's a key part. A promise in love. Here's a key part. A promise in love. Here's a key part. A promise must be about things that I can do about must be about things that I can do about must be about things that I can do about actions. No one can promise to go on actions. No one can promise to go on actions. No one can promise to go on feeling a certain way. Wow. What a what feeling a certain way. Wow. What a what feeling a certain way. Wow. What a what a just reckon to our culture. Then what

a just reckon to our culture. Then what a just reckon to our culture. Then what he's saying there is when you truly make he's saying there is when you truly make he's saying there is when you truly make the promise when being in love to, you the promise when being in love to, you the promise when being in love to, you know, never leave this person to be by know, never leave this person to be by know, never leave this person to be by them through thick and thin, he's saying them through thick and thin, he's saying them through thick and thin, he's saying that that is the thing that you control. that that is the thing that you control. that that is the thing that you control. If you can control the promise that you If you can control the promise that you If you can control the promise that you will love this person to the end, that will love this person to the end, that will love this person to the end, that you'll be for them through rich or poor, you'll be for them through rich or poor, you'll be for them through rich or poor, through sickness and through health. You through sickness and through health. You through sickness and through health. You that is the thing you control. But the that is the thing you control. But the that is the thing you control. But the one thing you cannot control is the one thing you cannot control is the one thing you cannot control is the feeling you are feeling now. You have no feeling you are feeling now. You have no feeling you are feeling now. You have no clue in 50 years if you will feel this clue in 50 years if you will feel this clue in 50 years if you will feel this feeling. And that is an absolute just um feeling. And that is an absolute just um feeling. And that is an absolute just um what's the word? chainsaw to our current what's the word? chainsaw to our current what's the word? chainsaw to our current view of of love in the sense that I feel view of of love in the sense that I feel view of of love in the sense that I feel this right now. Oh, I don't feel this this right now. Oh, I don't feel this this right now. Oh, I don't feel this right now. Let me leave this person. Let right now. Let me leave this person. Let right now. Let me leave this person. Let me get divorced. Let me look for someone me get divorced. Let me look for someone me get divorced. Let me look for someone else. Oh, I'm not feeling satisfied in else. Oh, I'm not feeling satisfied in else. Oh, I'm not feeling satisfied in this area. Let me look for someone else. this area. Let me look for someone else. this area. Let me look for someone else. Because the emotion someone feels is Because the emotion someone feels is Because the emotion someone feels is dictating their love. But CS Lewis here dictating their love. But CS Lewis here dictating their love. But CS Lewis here is saying the complete opposite. And is saying the complete opposite. And is saying the complete opposite. And he's saying the thing you can control is he's saying the thing you can control is he's saying the thing you can control is your actions and it's your promise. And your actions and it's your promise. And your actions and it's your promise. And what is a promise if you can't keep to what is a promise if you can't keep to what is a promise if you can't keep to it? What is the promise if you say, "I'm it? What is the promise if you say, "I'm it? What is the promise if you say, "I'm never going to leave you, but if my never going to leave you, but if my never going to leave you, but if my emotions change, I'm off." Because your emotions change, I'm off." Because your emotions change, I'm off." Because your emotions are going to change. You know, emotions are going to change. You know, emotions are going to change. You know, you might have this feeling forever, you might have this feeling forever, you might have this feeling forever, which would be absolutely phenomenal, which would be absolutely phenomenal, which would be absolutely phenomenal, and you'll probably have an absolutely and you'll probably have an absolutely and you'll probably have an absolutely incredible marriage, but that might incredible marriage, but that might incredible marriage, but that might change. Then what? And CS Lewis here is change. Then what? And CS Lewis here is change. Then what? And CS Lewis here is saying, "No, it is your actions that you saying, "No, it is your actions that you saying, "No, it is your actions that you can promise, not your feelings." And can promise, not your feelings." And can promise, not your feelings." And finally from CS Lewis, a grief observe, finally from CS Lewis, a grief observe, finally from CS Lewis, a grief observe, again, brilliant book. There is one of

again, brilliant book. There is one of again, brilliant book. There is one of the miracles of love. It gives a power the miracles of love. It gives a power the miracles of love. It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments of seeing through its own enchantments of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted. How and yet not being disenchanted. How and yet not being disenchanted. How beautiful is that? It it's the you know, beautiful is that? It it's the you know, beautiful is that? It it's the you know, you love someone, you get past the you love someone, you get past the you love someone, you get past the honeymoon period, you see the flaws, you honeymoon period, you see the flaws, you honeymoon period, you see the flaws, you see endless things that are wrong, see endless things that are wrong, see endless things that are wrong, things that don't work, maybe things that don't work, maybe things that don't work, maybe miscommunication issues, the list goes miscommunication issues, the list goes miscommunication issues, the list goes on. Like obviously that's going to on. Like obviously that's going to on. Like obviously that's going to happen, right? You know, being in love happen, right? You know, being in love happen, right? You know, being in love post the honeymoon period. However, you post the honeymoon period. However, you post the honeymoon period. However, you see the disenchantment. You see the see the disenchantment. You see the see the disenchantment. You see the things that you thought weren't true. things that you thought weren't true. things that you thought weren't true. But despite that, despite all that, you But despite that, despite all that, you But despite that, despite all that, you transcend it because you really love. transcend it because you really love. transcend it because you really love. There is something uncontrollable about There is something uncontrollable about There is something uncontrollable about it. There is something that makes you it. There is something that makes you it. There is something that makes you want to keep going despite certain want to keep going despite certain want to keep going despite certain things saying not to keep going. And things saying not to keep going. And things saying not to keep going. And what a brilliant, beautiful way of what a brilliant, beautiful way of what a brilliant, beautiful way of putting it. You know, seeing through its putting it. You know, seeing through its putting it. You know, seeing through its own enchantments yet not being own enchantments yet not being own enchantments yet not being disenchanted. You know, the beautiful disenchanted. You know, the beautiful disenchanted. You know, the beautiful thing of making love of, you know, let's thing of making love of, you know, let's thing of making love of, you know, let's say you've been at it for 30 years. You say you've been at it for 30 years. You say you've been at it for 30 years. You know, you're you're a married couple and know, you're you're a married couple and know, you're you're a married couple and you know, part of you might be a little you know, part of you might be a little you know, part of you might be a little bit bored maybe in a relationship. Maybe bit bored maybe in a relationship. Maybe bit bored maybe in a relationship. Maybe the sex isn't what it used to be. Maybe the sex isn't what it used to be. Maybe the sex isn't what it used to be. Maybe the love isn't there. But despite that, the love isn't there. But despite that, the love isn't there. But despite that, you want to make it better. You want to you want to make it better. You want to you want to make it better. You want to make it good because love transcends all make it good because love transcends all make it good because love transcends all rationale. It really does. And that is rationale. It really does. And that is rationale. It really does. And that is the beautiful magic of it. But ladies the beautiful magic of it. But ladies the beautiful magic of it. But ladies and gentlemen, I hope you did enjoy this and gentlemen, I hope you did enjoy this and gentlemen, I hope you did enjoy this video. It's pretty much me ranting, video. It's pretty much me ranting, video. It's pretty much me ranting, saying how great CS Lewis is. But I saying how great CS Lewis is. But I saying how great CS Lewis is. But I think we can learn so much from Clive think we can learn so much from Clive think we can learn so much from Clive Staples Lewis about what it means to Staples Lewis about what it means to Staples Lewis about what it means to love. And to anyone who is married or love. And to anyone who is married or love. And to anyone who is married or anything, leave your comments below. I

anything, leave your comments below. I anything, leave your comments below. I would love to hear your wisdom. Check would love to hear your wisdom. Check would love to hear your wisdom. Check out these two videos here. It mean a out these two videos here. It mean a out these two videos here. It mean a lot. Love you all. Follow my substack lot. Love you all. Follow my substack lot. Love you all. Follow my substack link below and Instagram. And I'll catch link below and Instagram. And I'll catch link below and Instagram. And I'll catch you all tomorrow for another video. you all tomorrow for another video. you all tomorrow for another video. Peace.