Compliment a stranger or reach out to a loved one. You may do more good than you think #TEDTalks

If being socially connected is so darn If being socially connected is so darn good for us, then why do we so often good for us, then why do we so often good for us, then why do we so often seem to be so darn unsocial? Social seem to be so darn unsocial? Social seem to be so darn unsocial? Social connection after all isn't something connection after all isn't something connection after all isn't something that just happens to us. It's a choice that just happens to us. It's a choice that just happens to us. It's a choice we make. It's a choice we make at times we make. It's a choice we make at times we make. It's a choice we make at times to reach out and approach other people to reach out and approach other people to reach out and approach other people to engage with them or to hold back and to engage with them or to hold back and to engage with them or to hold back and avoid them. It might in fact, arguably avoid them. It might in fact, arguably avoid them. It might in fact, arguably be the choice we make, the most be the choice we make, the most be the choice we make, the most important choice we make. Because how we important choice we make. Because how we important choice we make. Because how we make that choice over and over and over make that choice over and over and over make that choice over and over and over again in our lives so routinely again in our lives so routinely again in our lives so routinely determines so much about our happiness, determines so much about our happiness, determines so much about our happiness, our health, and our success in life. our health, and our success in life. our health, and our success in life. Every day there are opportunities big Every day there are opportunities big Every day there are opportunities big and small to reach out and connect with and small to reach out and connect with and small to reach out and connect with other people that we choose not to take. other people that we choose not to take. other people that we choose not to take. We avoid talking to strangers. We lean We avoid talking to strangers. We lean We avoid talking to strangers. We lean back and type to each other rather than back and type to each other rather than back and type to each other rather than leaning in and talking to each other. leaning in and talking to each other. leaning in and talking to each other. Once talking, we stick to shallow talk Once talking, we stick to shallow talk Once talking, we stick to shallow talk to small talk rather than going deeper. to small talk rather than going deeper. to small talk rather than going deeper. We feel grateful but don't express it. We feel grateful but don't express it. We feel grateful but don't express it. Want to reach out to offer support to Want to reach out to offer support to Want to reach out to offer support to someone in need but hold back. We'd like someone in need but hold back. We'd like someone in need but hold back. We'd like to be open and honest in our to be open and honest in our to be open and honest in our relationships but all too often keep our relationships but all too often keep our relationships but all too often keep our true selves to ourselves. My true selves to ourselves. My true selves to ourselves. My collaborators, my wonderful collaborators, my wonderful collaborators, my wonderful collaborators, and I have now conducted collaborators, and I have now conducted collaborators, and I have now conducted well over 100 experiments with over well over 100 experiments with over well over 100 experiments with over 30,000 people of all ages and 30,000 people of all ages and 30,000 people of all ages and nationalities and found that my tendency nationalities and found that my tendency nationalities and found that my tendency to be overly pessimistic is not unique to be overly pessimistic is not unique to be overly pessimistic is not unique to me. We find in our research that we to me. We find in our research that we to me. We find in our research that we have tremendous power to create have tremendous power to create have tremendous power to create meaningful social connection every day meaningful social connection every day meaningful social connection every day of our lives but if we underestimate how of our lives but if we underestimate how of our lives but if we underestimate how positively our efforts to reach out and positively our efforts to reach out and positively our efforts to reach out and connect with someone will go, we won't connect with someone will go, we won't connect with someone will go, we won't use that power that we have. How much use that power that we have. How much use that power that we have. How much more time would you spend reaching out more time would you spend reaching out more time would you spend reaching out to lift somebody up if you knew just how to lift somebody up if you knew just how to lift somebody up if you knew just how much good in that moment you could much good in that moment you could much good in that moment you could actually do? No research I've ever been actually do? No research I've ever been actually do? No research I've ever been involved with has changed the way I live

involved with has changed the way I live involved with has changed the way I live my life more than this.