Preparing for a Holiday That Will Disappoint [The Deep Dish - Ep. BONUS]

Can I tell you a Krueger family secret? Can I tell you a Krueger family secret? >> Yeah. Guess which Krueger member watches >> Yeah. Guess which Krueger member watches >> Yeah. Guess which Krueger member watches the Hallmark movies. Oh, I totally know. the Hallmark movies. Oh, I totally know. the Hallmark movies. Oh, I totally know. But it's only because I know I It's It's But it's only because I know I It's It's But it's only because I know I It's It's the big burly Mike Krueger, the the New the big burly Mike Krueger, the the New the big burly Mike Krueger, the the New Testament scholar who knows better. Hi friends, welcome to the Deep Dish, a Hi friends, welcome to the Deep Dish, a podcast from the Gospel Coalition where podcast from the Gospel Coalition where podcast from the Gospel Coalition where we love having deep conversations about we love having deep conversations about we love having deep conversations about deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I am here with my friend and co-host am here with my friend and co-host am here with my friend and co-host Courtney Doctor. Courtney Doctor. Courtney Doctor. >> Hey friendly. Hey friend. Well, we're >> Hey friendly. Hey friend. Well, we're >> Hey friendly. Hey friend. Well, we're excited because we have a special bonus excited because we have a special bonus excited because we have a special bonus episode for you today. We're actually episode for you today. We're actually episode for you today. We're actually going to release this episode a week going to release this episode a week going to release this episode a week before Thanksgiving. And the reason before Thanksgiving. And the reason before Thanksgiving. And the reason we're doing it is because we all know we're doing it is because we all know we're doing it is because we all know that the next six weeks can just demand that the next six weeks can just demand that the next six weeks can just demand a lot of us. We have so much we're a lot of us. We have so much we're a lot of us. We have so much we're looking forward to. We have things that looking forward to. We have things that looking forward to. We have things that we're our hearts are hoping for, longing we're our hearts are hoping for, longing we're our hearts are hoping for, longing for. We have these really high for. We have these really high for. We have these really high expectations. And so we want to talk expectations. And so we want to talk expectations. And so we want to talk about those things and how how to manage about those things and how how to manage about those things and how how to manage these expectations and how to manage our these expectations and how to manage our these expectations and how to manage our hopes for the holidays. So Melissa, I hopes for the holidays. So Melissa, I hopes for the holidays. So Melissa, I want you to tell the listeners why we want you to tell the listeners why we want you to tell the listeners why we called this episode preparing for a called this episode preparing for a called this episode preparing for a holiday that will disappoint rather than holiday that will disappoint rather than holiday that will disappoint rather than calling it preparing for a holiday that calling it preparing for a holiday that calling it preparing for a holiday that might disappoint. Well, you know, we we might disappoint. Well, you know, we we might disappoint. Well, you know, we we were just dealing with reality um that

were just dealing with reality um that were just dealing with reality um that there's just some reality that we always there's just some reality that we always there's just some reality that we always have higher expectations than will most have higher expectations than will most have higher expectations than will most likely come to pass when it comes to the likely come to pass when it comes to the likely come to pass when it comes to the holidays. And I think we have visuals in holidays. And I think we have visuals in holidays. And I think we have visuals in our mind of the family singing hymns our mind of the family singing hymns our mind of the family singing hymns around Christmas carols around the around Christmas carols around the around Christmas carols around the Christmas tree. I mean, my family can't Christmas tree. I mean, my family can't Christmas tree. I mean, my family can't even sing. And I still I mean, there's even sing. And I still I mean, there's even sing. And I still I mean, there's no way it's going to sound good. In your no way it's going to sound good. In your no way it's going to sound good. In your mind, you're harmonizing. You know, mind, you're harmonizing. You know, mind, you're harmonizing. You know, everybody takes a like a vocal part as everybody takes a like a vocal part as everybody takes a like a vocal part as if I even know what those are. if I even know what those are. if I even know what those are. >> Yeah. Yeah. And we don't have a piano, >> Yeah. Yeah. And we don't have a piano, >> Yeah. Yeah. And we don't have a piano, but somehow in my image, we do. And you but somehow in my image, we do. And you but somehow in my image, we do. And you know, it's just this and and and and know, it's just this and and and and know, it's just this and and and and it's also this visual of I just feel all it's also this visual of I just feel all it's also this visual of I just feel all the spiritual feels I'm supposed to the spiritual feels I'm supposed to the spiritual feels I'm supposed to feel. That's a lot of feelings, right? feel. That's a lot of feelings, right? feel. That's a lot of feelings, right? But, you know, it's this it's not just But, you know, it's this it's not just But, you know, it's this it's not just supposed to be um fun and friends are supposed to be um fun and friends are supposed to be um fun and friends are around and these warm emotions. I'm also around and these warm emotions. I'm also around and these warm emotions. I'm also deeply um engaged in worship. like those deeply um engaged in worship. like those deeply um engaged in worship. like those are like I want, you know, we want all are like I want, you know, we want all are like I want, you know, we want all of these things.

of these things. of these things. >> We want all of it and and reality is >> We want all of it and and reality is >> We want all of it and and reality is never going to match these expectations. never going to match these expectations. never going to match these expectations. And we're going to dive into all of that And we're going to dive into all of that And we're going to dive into all of that a little bit more, but just on the front a little bit more, but just on the front a little bit more, but just on the front end, we just want to be super clear that end, we just want to be super clear that end, we just want to be super clear that we love Thanksgiving and Christmas. We we love Thanksgiving and Christmas. We we love Thanksgiving and Christmas. We love the holidays. We are not haters of love the holidays. We are not haters of love the holidays. We are not haters of this. We're not trying to be like Debbie this. We're not trying to be like Debbie this. We're not trying to be like Debbie Downers that, you know, it's going to be Downers that, you know, it's going to be Downers that, you know, it's going to be bad. No, it's going to be glorious. But bad. No, it's going to be glorious. But bad. No, it's going to be glorious. But there's always a gap between our there's always a gap between our there's always a gap between our expectations and reality. Um, and before expectations and reality. Um, and before expectations and reality. Um, and before we even get going, just to prove that we even get going, just to prove that we even get going, just to prove that you are not a Christmas hater, I want to you are not a Christmas hater, I want to you are not a Christmas hater, I want to call out the fact that you have a new call out the fact that you have a new call out the fact that you have a new kids book coming out about Christmas. kids book coming out about Christmas. kids book coming out about Christmas. And I just got it this last weekend. Got And I just got it this last weekend. Got And I just got it this last weekend. Got my hands on it, read through it. I'm my hands on it, read through it. I'm my hands on it, read through it. I'm actually hopping on an airplane in a actually hopping on an airplane in a actually hopping on an airplane in a couple hours, taking it to my couple hours, taking it to my couple hours, taking it to my grandchildren in Nebraska. It is called grandchildren in Nebraska. It is called grandchildren in Nebraska. It is called the Gift of All Gifts. And what it does the Gift of All Gifts. And what it does the Gift of All Gifts. And what it does is it actually holds these things in is it actually holds these things in is it actually holds these things in tension of the beauty of the season, um tension of the beauty of the season, um tension of the beauty of the season, um the hopes that we have, but really the hopes that we have, but really the hopes that we have, but really anchors us in Christ. So, I know that's anchors us in Christ. So, I know that's anchors us in Christ. So, I know that's a little bit of a commercial, but you're a little bit of a commercial, but you're a little bit of a commercial, but you're my friend and I have the I have the my friend and I have the I have the my friend and I have the I have the prerogative to do that. Um it's prerogative to do that. Um it's prerogative to do that. Um it's beautiful and I'm excited about it and beautiful and I'm excited about it and beautiful and I'm excited about it and we love Christmas, but we do. We do. And we love Christmas, but we do. We do. And we love Christmas, but we do. We do. And and and you know, and my my mom just and and you know, and my my mom just and and you know, and my my mom just always made Christmas so fun. So, I always made Christmas so fun. So, I always made Christmas so fun. So, I don't know. I think sometimes as women don't know. I think sometimes as women don't know. I think sometimes as women we feel really like we're the holder of we feel really like we're the holder of we feel really like we're the holder of the holiday, the holiday, the holiday, >> you know, um whether we're making >> you know, um whether we're making >> you know, um whether we're making cookies for our neighbors or our cookies for our neighbors or our cookies for our neighbors or our co-workers at work or whatever. I think, co-workers at work or whatever. I think, co-workers at work or whatever. I think, you know, we come into this um just with

you know, we come into this um just with you know, we come into this um just with a lot of expectations even on ourselves. a lot of expectations even on ourselves. a lot of expectations even on ourselves. >> Absolutely. >> Absolutely. >> Absolutely. >> Of giving the right gift to our friends. >> Of giving the right gift to our friends. >> Of giving the right gift to our friends. All the things are just in our minds as All the things are just in our minds as All the things are just in our minds as we come into this. And I have to admit, we come into this. And I have to admit, we come into this. And I have to admit, can I say this is a little bit of a can I say this is a little bit of a can I say this is a little bit of a tender topic for me this morning. I was tender topic for me this morning. I was tender topic for me this morning. I was crying about this this morning. I forgot crying about this this morning. I forgot crying about this this morning. I forgot that this was the episode we were going that this was the episode we were going that this was the episode we were going to do. But yesterday, I found out that to do. But yesterday, I found out that to do. But yesterday, I found out that my oldest will not be at Christmas or my oldest will not be at Christmas or my oldest will not be at Christmas or Thanksgiving um because of of some she's Thanksgiving um because of of some she's Thanksgiving um because of of some she's at missionary training and then she's at missionary training and then she's at missionary training and then she's leaving. And so it will be multiple. I leaving. And so it will be multiple. I leaving. And so it will be multiple. I was trying not to count how many was trying not to count how many was trying not to count how many Christmases and Thanksgiving. I will not Christmases and Thanksgiving. I will not Christmases and Thanksgiving. I will not have all my kids home. And I was just so have all my kids home. And I was just so have all my kids home. And I was just so sad and I, you know, I was like, "Okay, sad and I, you know, I was like, "Okay, sad and I, you know, I was like, "Okay, how am I going to battle this? How am I how am I going to battle this? How am I how am I going to battle this? How am I going to battle my expectations of what going to battle my expectations of what going to battle my expectations of what I think I even have a right to I think I even have a right to I think I even have a right to >> on Christmas?" Like, >> on Christmas?" Like, >> on Christmas?" Like, >> yeah, >> yeah, >> yeah, >> like, well, I'm okay. I knew when they >> like, well, I'm okay. I knew when they >> like, well, I'm okay. I knew when they got married I'd give up one. got married I'd give up one. got married I'd give up one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But >> But >> But >> you're giving them both, >> you're giving them both, >> you're giving them both, >> man.

>> man. >> man. >> Yeah. I mean, so it's a >> Yeah. I mean, so it's a >> Yeah. I mean, so it's a >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> We're all coming into this from tender >> We're all coming into this from tender >> We're all coming into this from tender spaces. And it might be that you feel spaces. And it might be that you feel spaces. And it might be that you feel tender because you're like, I haven't tender because you're like, I haven't tender because you're like, I haven't had a good Christmas in 10 years, had a good Christmas in 10 years, had a good Christmas in 10 years, Melissa. Do you like a lister? You know, Melissa. Do you like a lister? You know, Melissa. Do you like a lister? You know, I mean, somebody might say, "It's lonely I mean, somebody might say, "It's lonely I mean, somebody might say, "It's lonely every year." every year." every year." >> Or maybe it's the first Christmas or >> Or maybe it's the first Christmas or >> Or maybe it's the first Christmas or holiday without a parent. There's so holiday without a parent. There's so holiday without a parent. There's so many reasons why. Or maybe you just many reasons why. Or maybe you just many reasons why. Or maybe you just moved. I mean, that's where we are. And moved. I mean, that's where we are. And moved. I mean, that's where we are. And yeah, it's so hard. Uh my kids, my boys, yeah, it's so hard. Uh my kids, my boys, yeah, it's so hard. Uh my kids, my boys, my oldest two got married six weeks my oldest two got married six weeks my oldest two got married six weeks apart. And so that first Christmas I was apart. And so that first Christmas I was apart. And so that first Christmas I was it was half of my children were not it was half of my children were not it was half of my children were not there that first Christmas after they there that first Christmas after they there that first Christmas after they were married. It's just it's change and were married. It's just it's change and were married. It's just it's change and it's it feels like loss, doesn't it? it's it feels like loss, doesn't it? it's it feels like loss, doesn't it? >> And so yeah, as we head into this um >> And so yeah, as we head into this um >> And so yeah, as we head into this um first of all, y'all need to be praying first of all, y'all need to be praying first of all, y'all need to be praying for Melissa this Christmas and for Melissa this Christmas and for Melissa this Christmas and Thanksgiving cuz it's going to be hard. Thanksgiving cuz it's going to be hard. Thanksgiving cuz it's going to be hard. It's going to be sad. It's going to be sad. It's going to be sad. >> But there are so many things that and >> But there are so many things that and >> But there are so many things that and you started kind of talking about this you started kind of talking about this you started kind of talking about this and alluding to it. the things that and alluding to it. the things that and alluding to it. the things that really feed maybe maybe erroneous really feed maybe maybe erroneous really feed maybe maybe erroneous expectations. I think that our our own expectations. I think that our our own expectations. I think that our our own hearts can create expectations, but I hearts can create expectations, but I hearts can create expectations, but I mean I just want to be like raise your mean I just want to be like raise your mean I just want to be like raise your hand if you watch too many Hallmark hand if you watch too many Hallmark hand if you watch too many Hallmark movies because there is something about movies because there is something about movies because there is something about that where it creates this, you know, that where it creates this, you know, that where it creates this, you know, idllic uh the snow is falling. Well, idllic uh the snow is falling. Well, idllic uh the snow is falling. Well, what if you don't live where it snows what if you don't live where it snows what if you don't live where it snows and you cut down your own fresh and you cut down your own fresh and you cut down your own fresh Christmas tree and you know, everybody Christmas tree and you know, everybody Christmas tree and you know, everybody loves the gifts you gave and the turkey loves the gifts you gave and the turkey loves the gifts you gave and the turkey turns out right and the cookies are

turns out right and the cookies are turns out right and the cookies are delicious and decorated and it's just delicious and decorated and it's just delicious and decorated and it's just it's like it's it's the lie that you can it's like it's it's the lie that you can it's like it's it's the lie that you can have it all and this is what all looks have it all and this is what all looks have it all and this is what all looks like. Um, like. Um, like. Um, >> can I tell you a Krueger family secret? >> can I tell you a Krueger family secret? >> can I tell you a Krueger family secret? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Guess which Krueger member watches the Guess which Krueger member watches the Guess which Krueger member watches the Hallmark movies. Hallmark movies. Hallmark movies. >> Oh, I totally know. But it's only >> Oh, I totally know. But it's only >> Oh, I totally know. But it's only because I know I It's It's the big burly because I know I It's It's the big burly because I know I It's It's the big burly Mike Krueger, the the New Testament Mike Krueger, the the New Testament Mike Krueger, the the New Testament scholar who knows better. scholar who knows better. scholar who knows better. He cracks me up. He's just like, it's He cracks me up. He's just like, it's He cracks me up. He's just like, it's just always so happy. just always so happy. just always so happy. >> I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you're killing >> I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you're killing >> I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you're killing me. I can't watch them." and he loves me. I can't watch them." and he loves me. I can't watch them." and he loves them. It kills me. them. It kills me. them. It kills me. >> It kills me. But you're right. That that >> It kills me. But you're right. That that >> It kills me. But you're right. That that is the picture um that I think we all is the picture um that I think we all is the picture um that I think we all have kind of coming into the holidays. have kind of coming into the holidays. have kind of coming into the holidays. We have really high expectations. Um we We have really high expectations. Um we We have really high expectations. Um we come in um with and and and let's just come in um with and and and let's just come in um with and and and let's just say they're high, but they're normally say they're high, but they're normally say they're high, but they're normally good. You know, it's it's a right thing good. You know, it's it's a right thing good. You know, it's it's a right thing to want you friends and family nearby to want you friends and family nearby to want you friends and family nearby and to see them and celebrate um and to see them and celebrate um and to see them and celebrate um together. I mean, those are those are together. I mean, those are those are together. I mean, those are those are all all really good things. So, let me all all really good things. So, let me all all really good things. So, let me ask you this question. How have your ask you this question. How have your ask you this question. How have your expectations for the holidays changed expectations for the holidays changed expectations for the holidays changed over your adult life? You just mentioned over your adult life? You just mentioned over your adult life? You just mentioned that with oh, the first year your kids that with oh, the first year your kids that with oh, the first year your kids weren't there and you lost lost. Didn't weren't there and you lost lost. Didn't weren't there and you lost lost. Didn't mean it that way. Two of them in one mean it that way. Two of them in one mean it that way. Two of them in one year weren't there. And so, that was year weren't there. And so, that was year weren't there. And so, that was kind of a oo, you know, that's a hit.

kind of a oo, you know, that's a hit. kind of a oo, you know, that's a hit. Um, Um, Um, >> but how have your expectations changed >> but how have your expectations changed >> but how have your expectations changed through the years? through the years? through the years? Well, I think it's a it's a battle to Well, I think it's a it's a battle to Well, I think it's a it's a battle to kind of navigate my own expectations kind of navigate my own expectations kind of navigate my own expectations because like you said, most of these because like you said, most of these because like you said, most of these longings are good and right. It is it is longings are good and right. It is it is longings are good and right. It is it is a deep longing in most of us to have a a deep longing in most of us to have a a deep longing in most of us to have a full table of people sitting around. It full table of people sitting around. It full table of people sitting around. It is a it is a good and right expectation is a it is a good and right expectation is a it is a good and right expectation to want to feast and laugh and have it to want to feast and laugh and have it to want to feast and laugh and have it be rich in relationship and joy and all be rich in relationship and joy and all be rich in relationship and joy and all of the things. And so navigating our own of the things. And so navigating our own of the things. And so navigating our own hearts to say these are good and right hearts to say these are good and right hearts to say these are good and right expectations and then know where we live expectations and then know where we live expectations and then know where we live in the story of redemption that we live in the story of redemption that we live in the story of redemption that we live in the already and not yet. And so in the already and not yet. And so in the already and not yet. And so already we will experience some of the already we will experience some of the already we will experience some of the joys and the blessings but we are not joys and the blessings but we are not joys and the blessings but we are not yet there. We are not yet at the feast yet there. We are not yet at the feast yet there. We are not yet at the feast to end all feasts. Um and it is actually to end all feasts. Um and it is actually to end all feasts. Um and it is actually the thing that our that our souls long the thing that our that our souls long the thing that our that our souls long for. And so I think even becoming a for. And so I think even becoming a for. And so I think even becoming a becoming a parent of adult children or becoming a parent of adult children or becoming a parent of adult children or having being a woman who has adult having being a woman who has adult having being a woman who has adult children, I think you have to shift some children, I think you have to shift some children, I think you have to shift some of those expectations and and I it's of those expectations and and I it's of those expectations and and I it's it's an intentional pursuit in me it's an intentional pursuit in me it's an intentional pursuit in me because I really do long for this because I really do long for this because I really do long for this idyllic thing and my kids would testify idyllic thing and my kids would testify idyllic thing and my kids would testify to this. But but learning to let go of to this. But but learning to let go of to this. But but learning to let go of the fact that I'm expecting it to be the fact that I'm expecting it to be the fact that I'm expecting it to be conflictfree or or that I'm going to be conflictfree or or that I'm going to be conflictfree or or that I'm going to be the best version of myself for 10 the best version of myself for 10 the best version of myself for 10 straight days with 20 people in my straight days with 20 people in my straight days with 20 people in my house. You know, I'm just not. And and

house. You know, I'm just not. And and house. You know, I'm just not. And and yet in my mind, that's what I go in yet in my mind, that's what I go in yet in my mind, that's what I go in wanting and expecting. And so or or this wanting and expecting. And so or or this wanting and expecting. And so or or this expectation that everybody, you know, no expectation that everybody, you know, no expectation that everybody, you know, no friends are going to cancel um you know friends are going to cancel um you know friends are going to cancel um you know and and not show up even though I've and and not show up even though I've and and not show up even though I've already set the table or whatever the already set the table or whatever the already set the table or whatever the expectations are. It's just learning to expectations are. It's just learning to expectations are. It's just learning to say, "Oh, those are expectations and say, "Oh, those are expectations and say, "Oh, those are expectations and it's actually okay if those don't come it's actually okay if those don't come it's actually okay if those don't come to fruition, to fruition, to fruition, >> but to see the joy that's actually >> but to see the joy that's actually >> but to see the joy that's actually there." What about you? there." What about you? there." What about you? >> You know, I'm going to even go back >> You know, I'm going to even go back >> You know, I'm going to even go back earlier where my expectations had to earlier where my expectations had to earlier where my expectations had to start changing. I think when you move start changing. I think when you move start changing. I think when you move from um a an academic calendar and you from um a an academic calendar and you from um a an academic calendar and you get two weeks off at Christmas and you get two weeks off at Christmas and you get two weeks off at Christmas and you know many days off at Thanksgiving to know many days off at Thanksgiving to know many days off at Thanksgiving to just the working world, just the working world, just the working world, >> right? and all of a sudden you got two >> right? and all of a sudden you got two >> right? and all of a sudden you got two days off and you're like days off and you're like days off and you're like I'm supposed to have this luxurious time I'm supposed to have this luxurious time I'm supposed to have this luxurious time even with with my you know before I was even with with my you know before I was even with with my you know before I was married just with my family to relax and married just with my family to relax and married just with my family to relax and reset and that really changes when you reset and that really changes when you reset and that really changes when you move into the working world. I mean, I move into the working world. I mean, I move into the working world. I mean, I felt that when I now I went into felt that when I now I went into felt that when I now I went into teaching, so I still had a good break.

teaching, so I still had a good break. teaching, so I still had a good break. So, so I so it was actually as I moved So, so I so it was actually as I moved So, so I so it was actually as I moved into different seasons, I was like, "Oo, into different seasons, I was like, "Oo, into different seasons, I was like, "Oo, it's it's not quite the same." And I I it's it's not quite the same." And I I it's it's not quite the same." And I I think there's this deep desire for even think there's this deep desire for even think there's this deep desire for even rest at the holidays. And that changed rest at the holidays. And that changed rest at the holidays. And that changed as I suddenly became in charge of the as I suddenly became in charge of the as I suddenly became in charge of the cooking. Right. I was like, "Right, cooking. Right. I was like, "Right, cooking. Right. I was like, "Right, >> that's nice that everybody's enjoying a >> that's nice that everybody's enjoying a >> that's nice that everybody's enjoying a puzzle while I'm chopping up the celery puzzle while I'm chopping up the celery puzzle while I'm chopping up the celery for the stuffing, you know, or or for the stuffing, you know, or or for the stuffing, you know, or or whatever." And I've really had to in whatever." And I've really had to in whatever." And I've really had to in some ways learn to guard my heart from, some ways learn to guard my heart from, some ways learn to guard my heart from, you know, not heavy bitterness, but just you know, not heavy bitterness, but just you know, not heavy bitterness, but just like, well, yeah, it'd be nice to be like, well, yeah, it'd be nice to be like, well, yeah, it'd be nice to be sitting down with the family playing sitting down with the family playing sitting down with the family playing games, but someone has to cook the games, but someone has to cook the games, but someone has to cook the turkey, you know, kind of that thing turkey, you know, kind of that thing turkey, you know, kind of that thing that can rise up. And so I think one of that can rise up. And so I think one of that can rise up. And so I think one of my expectations has had to change from my expectations has had to change from my expectations has had to change from um it's just going to be restful um it's just going to be restful um it's just going to be restful to oh it might be really busy and that's to oh it might be really busy and that's to oh it might be really busy and that's okay and enjoy the busyiness. Enjoy the okay and enjoy the busyiness. Enjoy the okay and enjoy the busyiness. Enjoy the mess in my kitchen. Enjoy that there are mess in my kitchen. Enjoy that there are mess in my kitchen. Enjoy that there are shoes all over the place and that's a shoes all over the place and that's a shoes all over the place and that's a beautiful sign of fullness. But it's beautiful sign of fullness. But it's beautiful sign of fullness. But it's changing what I'm thankful for. Whereas changing what I'm thankful for. Whereas changing what I'm thankful for. Whereas I think I'm longing, you know, a little I think I'm longing, you know, a little I think I'm longing, you know, a little bit to rest and just be able to be bit to rest and just be able to be bit to rest and just be able to be still. And I have had to change that still. And I have had to change that still. And I have had to change that expectations, you know.

expectations, you know. expectations, you know. >> Yeah, for sure. >> Yeah, for sure. >> Yeah, for sure. >> As as I've grown now, the other thing I >> As as I've grown now, the other thing I >> As as I've grown now, the other thing I think we want, okay, we've got think we want, okay, we've got think we want, okay, we've got Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving >> and then we've got Christmas. So >> and then we've got Christmas. So >> and then we've got Christmas. So thanksgiving it, you know, we are thanksgiving it, you know, we are thanksgiving it, you know, we are supposed to come into with truly supposed to come into with truly supposed to come into with truly grateful hearts grateful hearts grateful hearts >> and focusing on the Lord and who he is >> and focusing on the Lord and who he is >> and focusing on the Lord and who he is and what he's provided. And then we move and what he's provided. And then we move and what he's provided. And then we move right into Christmas and we're supposed right into Christmas and we're supposed right into Christmas and we're supposed to have this, you know, I I picture to have this, you know, I I picture to have this, you know, I I picture these moments. These are the moments I these moments. These are the moments I these moments. These are the moments I want. I went reading my Bible, staring want. I went reading my Bible, staring want. I went reading my Bible, staring at the lights on the tree, overwhelmed at the lights on the tree, overwhelmed at the lights on the tree, overwhelmed with gratitude that God of all the world with gratitude that God of all the world with gratitude that God of all the world chose to become man and dwell among us chose to become man and dwell among us chose to become man and dwell among us and then I'm invaded by did you remember and then I'm invaded by did you remember and then I'm invaded by did you remember to get that gift for so and so? Did you to get that gift for so and so? Did you to get that gift for so and so? Did you you know it feels like the busyiness you you know it feels like the busyiness you you know it feels like the busyiness you know seems to invade that. So, how how know seems to invade that. So, how how know seems to invade that. So, how how can we deal with our frustrations and can we deal with our frustrations and can we deal with our frustrations and our disappointments even with ourselves our disappointments even with ourselves our disappointments even with ourselves during this season when we uh and maybe during this season when we uh and maybe during this season when we uh and maybe how can we create space how can we create space how can we create space for those moments in the in the next six for those moments in the in the next six for those moments in the in the next six weeks? Do you have any advice or wisdom?

weeks? Do you have any advice or wisdom? weeks? Do you have any advice or wisdom? Well, I do think that there is this Well, I do think that there is this Well, I do think that there is this desire in us and and we feel the tension desire in us and and we feel the tension desire in us and and we feel the tension of our hearts aren't all of a sudden of our hearts aren't all of a sudden of our hearts aren't all of a sudden miraculous miraculously full of miraculous miraculously full of miraculous miraculously full of gratitude at Thanksgiving or in an gratitude at Thanksgiving or in an gratitude at Thanksgiving or in an abundant way or in a you know higher abundant way or in a you know higher abundant way or in a you know higher more intense way or the same thing at more intense way or the same thing at more intense way or the same thing at Christmas. We want to just rejoice in Christmas. We want to just rejoice in Christmas. We want to just rejoice in the incarnation and experience God in a the incarnation and experience God in a the incarnation and experience God in a new way. But I would just say that we new way. But I would just say that we new way. But I would just say that we need to be cultivating hearts of need to be cultivating hearts of need to be cultivating hearts of gratitude all year long. We need to be gratitude all year long. We need to be gratitude all year long. We need to be praising God for the incarnation all praising God for the incarnation all praising God for the incarnation all year long. It just this idea that we can year long. It just this idea that we can year long. It just this idea that we can maybe even neglect those things and then maybe even neglect those things and then maybe even neglect those things and then want them to fall fresh on us in the want them to fall fresh on us in the want them to fall fresh on us in the holidays is uh it's not helpful. It's holidays is uh it's not helpful. It's holidays is uh it's not helpful. It's not it's actually not the life of a not it's actually not the life of a not it's actually not the life of a Christian. So this idea that we would be Christian. So this idea that we would be Christian. So this idea that we would be curating grateful, worshipful hearts all curating grateful, worshipful hearts all curating grateful, worshipful hearts all year um and not try to have this hyper year um and not try to have this hyper year um and not try to have this hyper experience of it and at the same time experience of it and at the same time experience of it and at the same time recognize that it is good for us to have recognize that it is good for us to have recognize that it is good for us to have rhythms where we say, "Oh, I'm really rhythms where we say, "Oh, I'm really rhythms where we say, "Oh, I'm really going to focus on this and I'm really going to focus on this and I'm really going to focus on this and I'm really going to prioritize this." And so I do going to prioritize this." And so I do going to prioritize this." And so I do think like the disappointment is not think like the disappointment is not think like the disappointment is not just in, you know, we didn't get the just in, you know, we didn't get the just in, you know, we didn't get the invitation to the party or so and so invitation to the party or so and so invitation to the party or so and so cancelled or, you know, the kids can't cancelled or, you know, the kids can't cancelled or, you know, the kids can't show up or or we can't travel or show up or or we can't travel or show up or or we can't travel or whatever it is. It's also in this my own whatever it is. It's also in this my own whatever it is. It's also in this my own heart is not what I want it to be.

heart is not what I want it to be. heart is not what I want it to be. >> And so it's actually a great opportunity >> And so it's actually a great opportunity >> And so it's actually a great opportunity to step into this moment where we to step into this moment where we to step into this moment where we actually can be sanctified in our actually can be sanctified in our actually can be sanctified in our disappointments. And I know we're going disappointments. And I know we're going disappointments. And I know we're going to talk a little bit more about that, to talk a little bit more about that, to talk a little bit more about that, but it's not so much just giving but it's not so much just giving but it's not so much just giving ourselves a break. It's not just it's ourselves a break. It's not just it's ourselves a break. It's not just it's not so much just saying I need to be not so much just saying I need to be not so much just saying I need to be easier on myself. Sometimes I need to be easier on myself. Sometimes I need to be easier on myself. Sometimes I need to be a little bit harder and say stop and a little bit harder and say stop and a little bit harder and say stop and think about what are you what are you think about what are you what are you think about what are you what are you actually desiring and then what are you actually desiring and then what are you actually desiring and then what are you actually trusting God to do and to actually trusting God to do and to actually trusting God to do and to provide and to um curate and and provide and to um curate and and provide and to um curate and and cultivate. Um, and so that's this idea cultivate. Um, and so that's this idea cultivate. Um, and so that's this idea of like dealing with our own hearts, but of like dealing with our own hearts, but of like dealing with our own hearts, but so often so often so often we're thinking like our expectations we're thinking like our expectations we're thinking like our expectations hinge on other people, right? Let me hinge on other people, right? Let me hinge on other people, right? Let me piggyback on that really quickly because piggyback on that really quickly because piggyback on that really quickly because I love what you were saying about I love what you were saying about I love what you were saying about cultivating it through the year. I never cultivating it through the year. I never cultivating it through the year. I never did this, so I'm going to go ahead and did this, so I'm going to go ahead and did this, so I'm going to go ahead and claim that. I maybe should start doing claim that. I maybe should start doing claim that. I maybe should start doing this. I had a good friend, they kept a this. I had a good friend, they kept a this. I had a good friend, they kept a jar on their table and every time jar on their table and every time jar on their table and every time something throughout the year happened something throughout the year happened something throughout the year happened that they were really thankful for, they that they were really thankful for, they that they were really thankful for, they would put it in the jar and then at would put it in the jar and then at would put it in the jar and then at Thanksgiving, what they would do is open Thanksgiving, what they would do is open Thanksgiving, what they would do is open the jar up and remember the whole year.

the jar up and remember the whole year. the jar up and remember the whole year. And I love that idea because sometimes, And I love that idea because sometimes, And I love that idea because sometimes, you know, we just want practical ideas, you know, we just want practical ideas, you know, we just want practical ideas, but then along the way, so you can start but then along the way, so you can start but then along the way, so you can start it in January. Okay, so just dream about it in January. Okay, so just dream about it in January. Okay, so just dream about January if we're we're already just January if we're we're already just January if we're we're already just getting set for that. that's not that getting set for that. that's not that getting set for that. that's not that far away to to just set a jar and start far away to to just set a jar and start far away to to just set a jar and start saying we're going to put things we're saying we're going to put things we're saying we're going to put things we're grateful for whatever it might be grateful for whatever it might be grateful for whatever it might be because I think then it allows you to because I think then it allows you to because I think then it allows you to come to the end of the year and it's the come to the end of the year and it's the come to the end of the year and it's the cultivating of the thankfulness rather cultivating of the thankfulness rather cultivating of the thankfulness rather than than than >> in the midst of the flurry and cooking >> in the midst of the flurry and cooking >> in the midst of the flurry and cooking and doing people coming in trying to and doing people coming in trying to and doing people coming in trying to create it. you've been creating it all create it. you've been creating it all create it. you've been creating it all year and then, you know, you can really year and then, you know, you can really year and then, you know, you can really celebrate it because you've been working celebrate it because you've been working celebrate it because you've been working on it all year. And I think it helps us on it all year. And I think it helps us on it all year. And I think it helps us to do that. Um, it helps, you know, if to do that. Um, it helps, you know, if to do that. Um, it helps, you know, if you've got kids, it helps them to learn you've got kids, it helps them to learn you've got kids, it helps them to learn to do that. If you've got roommates, to do that. If you've got roommates, to do that. If you've got roommates, it's a good thing to even do with your it's a good thing to even do with your it's a good thing to even do with your roommates and just say, "Hey, let's do roommates and just say, "Hey, let's do roommates and just say, "Hey, let's do this and do your friends giving or this and do your friends giving or this and do your friends giving or whatever that you're doing." But I think whatever that you're doing." But I think whatever that you're doing." But I think it's a it's a it's a >> it's a helpful way. I can't remember who >> it's a helpful way. I can't remember who >> it's a helpful way. I can't remember who told me that, but I was like, "That's a told me that, but I was like, "That's a told me that, but I was like, "That's a great idea." And then I never followed great idea." And then I never followed great idea." And then I never followed up on it. And that sometimes happens up on it. And that sometimes happens up on it. And that sometimes happens too, too, too, >> but it is it's just a practical way of >> but it is it's just a practical way of >> but it is it's just a practical way of doing this thing that we're talking doing this thing that we're talking doing this thing that we're talking about that we're But then I love that it about that we're But then I love that it about that we're But then I love that it actually comes to fruition or actually comes to fruition or actually comes to fruition or culmination at Thanksgiving. Like that's culmination at Thanksgiving. Like that's culmination at Thanksgiving. Like that's that's a beautiful kind of both and of a that's a beautiful kind of both and of a that's a beautiful kind of both and of a way that Thanksgiving can be a little way that Thanksgiving can be a little way that Thanksgiving can be a little bit more intense. Well, I want to look bit more intense. Well, I want to look bit more intense. Well, I want to look at two sides of the same coin. Um, I'll at two sides of the same coin. Um, I'll at two sides of the same coin. Um, I'll start with the first one. And I think so start with the first one. And I think so start with the first one. And I think so often the expectations that we have for often the expectations that we have for often the expectations that we have for the holidays really hinge on other

the holidays really hinge on other the holidays really hinge on other people. We want them to show up. We want people. We want them to show up. We want people. We want them to show up. We want them to be thankful. We want them to them to be thankful. We want them to them to be thankful. We want them to give a good present. We want them to um, give a good present. We want them to um, give a good present. We want them to um, you know, be the best version of you know, be the best version of you know, be the best version of themselves, whatever it is. Uh, and so themselves, whatever it is. Uh, and so themselves, whatever it is. Uh, and so how do we how does that impact in very how do we how does that impact in very how do we how does that impact in very negative ways our own ability to negative ways our own ability to negative ways our own ability to navigate the holidays? um when we're navigate the holidays? um when we're navigate the holidays? um when we're looking to other people to make it what looking to other people to make it what looking to other people to make it what we want it to be. So that's the first we want it to be. So that's the first we want it to be. So that's the first side of the question. side of the question. side of the question. >> That's hard, Courtney, because if other >> That's hard, Courtney, because if other >> That's hard, Courtney, because if other people were just perfect, we'd have a people were just perfect, we'd have a people were just perfect, we'd have a perfect holiday, right? perfect holiday, right? perfect holiday, right? >> I mean, if they could just get it >> I mean, if they could just get it >> I mean, if they could just get it together and everybody be so thankful together and everybody be so thankful together and everybody be so thankful for every gift that we painstakingly for every gift that we painstakingly for every gift that we painstakingly picked, it would all be right. if no one picked, it would all be right. if no one picked, it would all be right. if no one was selfish or taking the last cookie or was selfish or taking the last cookie or was selfish or taking the last cookie or whatever it might happen in our homes whatever it might happen in our homes whatever it might happen in our homes and if I didn't revert back to my and if I didn't revert back to my and if I didn't revert back to my teenage self when I go home like all the teenage self when I go home like all the teenage self when I go home like all the things right there's just a lot I mean I things right there's just a lot I mean I things right there's just a lot I mean I think um we love people all of you I think um we love people all of you I think um we love people all of you I mean we love our families and so we we mean we love our families and so we we mean we love our families and so we we hope that they bring their best selves hope that they bring their best selves hope that they bring their best selves to the table but the the reality is to the table but the the reality is to the table but the the reality is sometimes I think we bring our our worst sometimes I think we bring our our worst sometimes I think we bring our our worst selves to the table we do revert back um selves to the table we do revert back um selves to the table we do revert back um to old behaviors. And I think maybe even to old behaviors. And I think maybe even to old behaviors. And I think maybe even just setting our expectations and and just setting our expectations and and just setting our expectations and and being understanding and tenderhearted being understanding and tenderhearted being understanding and tenderhearted toward one another. Uh not as an excuse toward one another. Uh not as an excuse toward one another. Uh not as an excuse to have short tempers or um be unkind.

to have short tempers or um be unkind. to have short tempers or um be unkind. Not in any way, I mean, but also just to Not in any way, I mean, but also just to Not in any way, I mean, but also just to be understanding that everyone coming be understanding that everyone coming be understanding that everyone coming into that gathering is dealing with into that gathering is dealing with into that gathering is dealing with something. Maybe their expectations something. Maybe their expectations something. Maybe their expectations weren't met. And here's what I've weren't met. And here's what I've weren't met. And here's what I've realized. The more I've aged, I don't realized. The more I've aged, I don't realized. The more I've aged, I don't know if you feel this way, the more I know if you feel this way, the more I know if you feel this way, the more I have come to realize what bothers me is have come to realize what bothers me is have come to realize what bothers me is not what bothers someone else. not what bothers someone else. not what bothers someone else. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And what bothers someone else is not >> And what bothers someone else is not >> And what bothers someone else is not what bothers me. what bothers me. what bothers me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And so I might be doing something very >> And so I might be doing something very >> And so I might be doing something very annoying or hurtful to someone else that annoying or hurtful to someone else that annoying or hurtful to someone else that I really don't mean to be. And the same I really don't mean to be. And the same I really don't mean to be. And the same is true of others. And so just giving a is true of others. And so just giving a is true of others. And so just giving a lot of um patience and kindness to one lot of um patience and kindness to one lot of um patience and kindness to one another that oh that what I just said another that oh that what I just said another that oh that what I just said was not meant to be a poke at you. Um was not meant to be a poke at you. Um was not meant to be a poke at you. Um but I I I think there's just a lot of but I I I think there's just a lot of but I I I think there's just a lot of feelings. So I mean I think that one of feelings. So I mean I think that one of feelings. So I mean I think that one of the best ways to prepare is to prepare the best ways to prepare is to prepare the best ways to prepare is to prepare to put our apologies on. to put our apologies on. to put our apologies on. >> Oh, that's good. >> Oh, that's good. >> Oh, that's good. >> And and be quick to say, "Oh, okay. I >> And and be quick to say, "Oh, okay. I >> And and be quick to say, "Oh, okay. I think my comment really hurt you and I think my comment really hurt you and I think my comment really hurt you and I did not. Can you tell me why?

did not. Can you tell me why? did not. Can you tell me why? >> Um, >> Um, >> Um, >> and I'm sorry. >> and I'm sorry. >> and I'm sorry. >> And now now let's let's be clear. >> And now now let's let's be clear. >> And now now let's let's be clear. Sometimes our comments are jabs and we Sometimes our comments are jabs and we Sometimes our comments are jabs and we just need to own those and say sorry. just need to own those and say sorry. just need to own those and say sorry. >> I mean, we know we know the difference >> I mean, we know we know the difference >> I mean, we know we know the difference between the two. between the two. between the two. >> Yes. And so, even back to that question >> Yes. And so, even back to that question >> Yes. And so, even back to that question you asked early on about how I've you asked early on about how I've you asked early on about how I've changed as, you know, through the years, changed as, you know, through the years, changed as, you know, through the years, like how have my expectations changed? I like how have my expectations changed? I like how have my expectations changed? I think part of that is it's a huge part think part of that is it's a huge part think part of that is it's a huge part of accounting for the fact that I am of accounting for the fact that I am of accounting for the fact that I am responsible for some of the responsible for some of the responsible for some of the disappointment that other people feel disappointment that other people feel disappointment that other people feel and just holding that like very loosely and just holding that like very loosely and just holding that like very loosely and saying because I you know I was and saying because I you know I was and saying because I you know I was probably way too old when this thought probably way too old when this thought probably way too old when this thought crossed my mind but it's well not just crossed my mind but it's well not just crossed my mind but it's well not just that thought that's probably was that thought that's probably was that thought that's probably was definitely way too old for that. Uh but definitely way too old for that. Uh but definitely way too old for that. Uh but also the idea that um everybody in the also the idea that um everybody in the also the idea that um everybody in the room, whoever it is in the room at the room, whoever it is in the room at the room, whoever it is in the room at the moment, is experiencing that moment moment, is experiencing that moment moment, is experiencing that moment differently. And to give people the differently. And to give people the differently. And to give people the freedom to say, I you're bringing your freedom to say, I you're bringing your freedom to say, I you're bringing your own story to the table here. And you I own story to the table here. And you I own story to the table here. And you I know there's there's one person who is know there's there's one person who is know there's there's one person who is around our table a lot at the holidays around our table a lot at the holidays around our table a lot at the holidays and this particular person just even the and this particular person just even the and this particular person just even the slightest hint of conflict is very slightest hint of conflict is very slightest hint of conflict is very rattling to this person. Well, I rattling to this person. Well, I rattling to this person. Well, I I am like I'll conflict and challenge I am like I'll conflict and challenge I am like I'll conflict and challenge and you know discuss and debate all day and you know discuss and debate all day and you know discuss and debate all day long. It doesn't even it doesn't even long. It doesn't even it doesn't even long. It doesn't even it doesn't even cross my mind that that's happening. and

cross my mind that that's happening. and cross my mind that that's happening. and and I love those those kind of vibrant and I love those those kind of vibrant and I love those those kind of vibrant conversations. Um and and a lot of conversations. Um and and a lot of conversations. Um and and a lot of people around my table love those kind people around my table love those kind people around my table love those kind of conversations and I've had to really of conversations and I've had to really of conversations and I've had to really account for the fact that not everybody account for the fact that not everybody account for the fact that not everybody at the at the table feels that way. And at the at the table feels that way. And at the at the table feels that way. And so just even this idea of like holding so just even this idea of like holding so just even this idea of like holding it loosely of just everything you said, it loosely of just everything you said, it loosely of just everything you said, everybody's experiencing their own everybody's experiencing their own everybody's experiencing their own thing. Everybody's experiencing this thing. Everybody's experiencing this thing. Everybody's experiencing this moment differently and I'm the moment differently and I'm the moment differently and I'm the disappointment. I'm the struggle. I'm disappointment. I'm the struggle. I'm disappointment. I'm the struggle. I'm the I'm the problem that some people are the I'm the problem that some people are the I'm the problem that some people are wondering how they're going to overcome wondering how they're going to overcome wondering how they're going to overcome in the holidays. It's so humbling, in the holidays. It's so humbling, in the holidays. It's so humbling, right? But it's actually good to get right? But it's actually good to get right? But it's actually good to get there. Uh it's really good to get there. there. Uh it's really good to get there. there. Uh it's really good to get there. It's freeing to get there. So, so that It's freeing to get there. So, so that It's freeing to get there. So, so that is such a good point. Um and it's a is such a good point. Um and it's a is such a good point. Um and it's a humbling point. You're really right. humbling point. You're really right. humbling point. You're really right. Like I am someone else's cause for maybe Like I am someone else's cause for maybe Like I am someone else's cause for maybe prayer or disappointment. like dealing prayer or disappointment. like dealing prayer or disappointment. like dealing how am I going to deal with with her how am I going to deal with with her how am I going to deal with with her this this holiday patiently and kindly this this holiday patiently and kindly this this holiday patiently and kindly and and it it does create in us a um and and it it does create in us a um and and it it does create in us a um sense of patience with others w when we sense of patience with others w when we sense of patience with others w when we do that. So practically, okay, we're do that. So practically, okay, we're do that. So practically, okay, we're getting ready to go into these holidays.

getting ready to go into these holidays. getting ready to go into these holidays. Practically, we can believe in our mind, Practically, we can believe in our mind, Practically, we can believe in our mind, okay, it's probably going to be okay, it's probably going to be okay, it's probably going to be disappointing in some way. But I do disappointing in some way. But I do disappointing in some way. But I do think it's even good to say it. Mhm. think it's even good to say it. Mhm. think it's even good to say it. Mhm. >> Um and maybe even maybe even in your own >> Um and maybe even maybe even in your own >> Um and maybe even maybe even in your own heads say heads say heads say what what am I prepared might be what what am I prepared might be what what am I prepared might be disappointing you you know for me and disappointing you you know for me and disappointing you you know for me and and to own it like okay it's going to be and to own it like okay it's going to be and to own it like okay it's going to be disappointing to me if Aunt Betty disappointing to me if Aunt Betty disappointing to me if Aunt Betty mysterious Aunt Betty um brings up mysterious Aunt Betty um brings up mysterious Aunt Betty um brings up politics again and everybody gets into a politics again and everybody gets into a politics again and everybody gets into a big fight about it you know or whatever big fight about it you know or whatever big fight about it you know or whatever like so so almost maybe thinking through like so so almost maybe thinking through like so so almost maybe thinking through what are the disappointments we may see what are the disappointments we may see what are the disappointments we may see or we may or we may or we may >> know in our family situation. Um, and >> know in our family situation. Um, and >> know in our family situation. Um, and how do we prepare for them? how do we prepare for them? how do we prepare for them? >> Oh, that's really good. And thinking >> Oh, that's really good. And thinking >> Oh, that's really good. And thinking through, right, like what is my response through, right, like what is my response through, right, like what is my response going to be that's actually helpful? Um, going to be that's actually helpful? Um, going to be that's actually helpful? Um, not just helpful for me, but helpful for not just helpful for me, but helpful for not just helpful for me, but helpful for everybody. and like what are those everybody. and like what are those everybody. and like what are those moments that my anxiety always rises and moments that my anxiety always rises and moments that my anxiety always rises and what can I do to navigate even that so what can I do to navigate even that so what can I do to navigate even that so that I'm just a non- anxious presence.

that I'm just a non- anxious presence. that I'm just a non- anxious presence. I've started actually ahead of time just I've started actually ahead of time just I've started actually ahead of time just identifying two or three things that I identifying two or three things that I identifying two or three things that I know not just I want to do but but that know not just I want to do but but that know not just I want to do but but that I want to be in the the settings and I want to be in the the settings and I want to be in the the settings and like one of them for me because I have like one of them for me because I have like one of them for me because I have grandchildren I want to be intentionally grandchildren I want to be intentionally grandchildren I want to be intentionally present where I'm listening to them uh present where I'm listening to them uh present where I'm listening to them uh where I stop long enough to really like where I stop long enough to really like where I stop long enough to really like attune to them and listen to what attune to them and listen to what attune to them and listen to what they're saying because it can get a they're saying because it can get a they're saying because it can get a little crazy or chaotic. Um, and so like little crazy or chaotic. Um, and so like little crazy or chaotic. Um, and so like that's something that I just ahead of that's something that I just ahead of that's something that I just ahead of time intentionally think that's that's time intentionally think that's that's time intentionally think that's that's important to me. I want to to do that no important to me. I want to to do that no important to me. I want to to do that no matter what else is going on. No matter matter what else is going on. No matter matter what else is going on. No matter what else I'm feeling, I really want to what else I'm feeling, I really want to what else I'm feeling, I really want to be present for that person. And I think be present for that person. And I think be present for that person. And I think that can be whether that's grandchildren that can be whether that's grandchildren that can be whether that's grandchildren or whether that's like you said or whether that's like you said or whether that's like you said roommates or friends that we have at our roommates or friends that we have at our roommates or friends that we have at our table, people from church. Uh, I want to table, people from church. Uh, I want to table, people from church. Uh, I want to be present and listening. Um, because be present and listening. Um, because be present and listening. Um, because that's hard for me. I I just kind of the that's hard for me. I I just kind of the that's hard for me. I I just kind of the whole thing can pass and I will just whole thing can pass and I will just whole thing can pass and I will just think, "Oh, that was so fun, but I don't think, "Oh, that was so fun, but I don't think, "Oh, that was so fun, but I don't know that I really feel like I was know that I really feel like I was know that I really feel like I was present in that moment." Does that make present in that moment." Does that make present in that moment." Does that make sense? I don't even know if that makes sense? I don't even know if that makes sense? I don't even know if that makes sense, but I just can get so busy and so sense, but I just can get so busy and so sense, but I just can get so busy and so caught up in the fact of, you know, I caught up in the fact of, you know, I caught up in the fact of, you know, I love like we had a whole big group from love like we had a whole big group from love like we had a whole big group from our church here. It was actually this our church here. It was actually this our church here. It was actually this summer, but um you know, I love having summer, but um you know, I love having summer, but um you know, I love having women from my church over at Christmas.

women from my church over at Christmas. women from my church over at Christmas. And I can just get so busy and having so And I can just get so busy and having so And I can just get so busy and having so much fun with the whole thing that I much fun with the whole thing that I much fun with the whole thing that I don't stop and really intentionally have don't stop and really intentionally have don't stop and really intentionally have these conversations with people. And so these conversations with people. And so these conversations with people. And so just those little things that mean just those little things that mean just those little things that mean something to us. That's even a good here something to us. That's even a good here something to us. That's even a good here that this is making me think if I don't that this is making me think if I don't that this is making me think if I don't do this, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. do this, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. do this, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. like what are the three conversations like what are the three conversations like what are the three conversations proactively I want to make sure to have proactively I want to make sure to have proactively I want to make sure to have with people, you know, cuz I was with people, you know, cuz I was with people, you know, cuz I was thinking reaction, but that made me thinking reaction, but that made me thinking reaction, but that made me think, huh, maybe I need to take some think, huh, maybe I need to take some think, huh, maybe I need to take some time to pray before people come home and time to pray before people come home and time to pray before people come home and just think about their lives for a just think about their lives for a just think about their lives for a moment, slow down and say, "Oh, I want moment, slow down and say, "Oh, I want moment, slow down and say, "Oh, I want to make sure to follow up with soand so to make sure to follow up with soand so to make sure to follow up with soand so on that diagnosis and ask how their hips on that diagnosis and ask how their hips on that diagnosis and ask how their hips doing or whatever, or I want to make doing or whatever, or I want to make doing or whatever, or I want to make sure And I want to make sure with my dad sure And I want to make sure with my dad sure And I want to make sure with my dad to ask him this. And maybe I want to to ask him this. And maybe I want to to ask him this. And maybe I want to have a time where we ask them to tell have a time where we ask them to tell have a time where we ask them to tell the whole family when did y'all meet? the whole family when did y'all meet? the whole family when did y'all meet? How did y'all you know or some fun story How did y'all you know or some fun story How did y'all you know or some fun story like I'm not good about proactively like I'm not good about proactively like I'm not good about proactively thinking. Um, and and that's making me thinking. Um, and and that's making me thinking. Um, and and that's making me think, oh, I should I should think not think, oh, I should I should think not think, oh, I should I should think not just how can I avoid uncom discomfort or just how can I avoid uncom discomfort or just how can I avoid uncom discomfort or maybe conversations I don't want to maybe conversations I don't want to maybe conversations I don't want to have, but how can we foster have, but how can we foster have, but how can we foster conversations we really want to have?

conversations we really want to have? conversations we really want to have? Because I think sometimes my Because I think sometimes my Because I think sometimes my disappointment is we were all together disappointment is we were all together disappointment is we were all together and did we really connect? and did we really connect? and did we really connect? >> Yes. And you know, >> Yes. And you know, >> Yes. And you know, >> that's what I'm trying to say. Yes. >> that's what I'm trying to say. Yes. >> that's what I'm trying to say. Yes. >> Yeah. How do I do that? Well, and I >> Yeah. How do I do that? Well, and I >> Yeah. How do I do that? Well, and I think for me, one practical way is to do think for me, one practical way is to do think for me, one practical way is to do food prep ahead of time if I can because food prep ahead of time if I can because food prep ahead of time if I can because I do in my mind get busy with all these I do in my mind get busy with all these I do in my mind get busy with all these people have to eat. people have to eat. people have to eat. And so I'm like I I feel like that And so I'm like I I feel like that And so I'm like I I feel like that starts the practical things start taking starts the practical things start taking starts the practical things start taking over that ability to sit and listen that over that ability to sit and listen that over that ability to sit and listen that you were talking about. But I also you were talking about. But I also you were talking about. But I also really want to think through really want to think through really want to think through >> hm what are the conversations I want to >> hm what are the conversations I want to >> hm what are the conversations I want to have like of activities? What are the have like of activities? What are the have like of activities? What are the three things I want to make sure I make three things I want to make sure I make three things I want to make sure I make time for? Is it just sitting around time for? Is it just sitting around time for? Is it just sitting around doing a puzzle, but I like to really do doing a puzzle, but I like to really do doing a puzzle, but I like to really do that with them? You know, I don't know. that with them? You know, I don't know. that with them? You know, I don't know. Trying to think through Trying to think through Trying to think through >> what are not what's everything I want to >> what are not what's everything I want to >> what are not what's everything I want to do, but what's the top two things I want do, but what's the top two things I want do, but what's the top two things I want to do? to do? to do? >> And that >> And that >> And that >> that would help me. >> that would help me. >> that would help me. >> Well, and even just as you I know when >> Well, and even just as you I know when >> Well, and even just as you I know when your youngest went to college this year, your youngest went to college this year, your youngest went to college this year, you gave her three questions to ask you gave her three questions to ask you gave her three questions to ask everybody that she like you proactively everybody that she like you proactively everybody that she like you proactively thought of these three questions. And thought of these three questions. And thought of these three questions. And I'm thinking, yeah, what if I I'm thinking, yeah, what if I I'm thinking, yeah, what if I proactively think through just even the proactively think through just even the proactively think through just even the fact that even if I don't have specific fact that even if I don't have specific fact that even if I don't have specific questions because everybody's different.

questions because everybody's different. questions because everybody's different. What if I just proactively think through What if I just proactively think through What if I just proactively think through the fact that instead of talking about the fact that instead of talking about the fact that instead of talking about myself so much, maybe ask starting every myself so much, maybe ask starting every myself so much, maybe ask starting every conversation with a question about conversation with a question about conversation with a question about somebody else? Like what a novel idea somebody else? Like what a novel idea somebody else? Like what a novel idea that would be. So I yeah, I love that. that would be. So I yeah, I love that. that would be. So I yeah, I love that. So let me ask this question. How can the So let me ask this question. How can the So let me ask this question. How can the church um help in this season? Look, we church um help in this season? Look, we church um help in this season? Look, we know just from studies that are out know just from studies that are out know just from studies that are out there that for a lot of people the there that for a lot of people the there that for a lot of people the holidays are really lonely. I mean, holidays are really lonely. I mean, holidays are really lonely. I mean, there's a deep deep loneliness. I mean, there's a deep deep loneliness. I mean, there's a deep deep loneliness. I mean, this is this is a hard season for a lot this is this is a hard season for a lot this is this is a hard season for a lot of people. So, how can we of people. So, how can we of people. So, how can we as believers look beyond maybe our, you as believers look beyond maybe our, you as believers look beyond maybe our, you know, families of origin, you know, to know, families of origin, you know, to know, families of origin, you know, to the church family and um if if we're the church family and um if if we're the church family and um if if we're lonely, how can we look there to find lonely, how can we look there to find lonely, how can we look there to find family? And if if our if our families family? And if if our if our families family? And if if our if our families maybe feel full and robust, how can we maybe feel full and robust, how can we maybe feel full and robust, how can we look to bring people in? I love, you look to bring people in? I love, you look to bring people in? I love, you know, there's a verse that says he sets know, there's a verse that says he sets know, there's a verse that says he sets the lonely and families. I think that's the lonely and families. I think that's the lonely and families. I think that's the picture of the church. So, how can the picture of the church. So, how can the picture of the church. So, how can the church really be a help in the midst the church really be a help in the midst the church really be a help in the midst of holidays that disappoint? Man, that's of holidays that disappoint? Man, that's of holidays that disappoint? Man, that's it's a it's a heavy question because I it's a it's a heavy question because I it's a it's a heavy question because I know that probably every single person know that probably every single person know that probably every single person listening has some place in the holidays listening has some place in the holidays listening has some place in the holidays that that's very lonely for them. And that that's very lonely for them. And that that's very lonely for them. And so, as the church, how are we looking so, as the church, how are we looking so, as the church, how are we looking around and seeing our brothers and around and seeing our brothers and around and seeing our brothers and sisters? um seeing the one who this is sisters? um seeing the one who this is sisters? um seeing the one who this is her first Christmas without um her mom

her first Christmas without um her mom her first Christmas without um her mom or without her husband or this is or without her husband or this is or without her husband or this is someone's Christmas where maybe she has someone's Christmas where maybe she has someone's Christmas where maybe she has children but they are aranged or they children but they are aranged or they children but they are aranged or they just live too far away or they don't just live too far away or they don't just live too far away or they don't prioritize being together. I mean there prioritize being together. I mean there prioritize being together. I mean there are so many ways that we are lonely. are so many ways that we are lonely. are so many ways that we are lonely. Maybe maybe it's somebody who's in grad Maybe maybe it's somebody who's in grad Maybe maybe it's somebody who's in grad school and you just don't have time. You school and you just don't have time. You school and you just don't have time. You have this one day off like you were have this one day off like you were have this one day off like you were talking about Melissa and you have this talking about Melissa and you have this talking about Melissa and you have this one day off and you want it to be one day off and you want it to be one day off and you want it to be something special but you can't travel something special but you can't travel something special but you can't travel and so what do you do? How do you Well, and so what do you do? How do you Well, and so what do you do? How do you Well, the church if the church would just look the church if the church would just look the church if the church would just look around and make sure that we see people around and make sure that we see people around and make sure that we see people and just invite them in. Our entire and just invite them in. Our entire and just invite them in. Our entire table is going to be richer and more table is going to be richer and more table is going to be richer and more beautiful and more delightful. I think beautiful and more delightful. I think beautiful and more delightful. I think and I am speaking about myself and to and I am speaking about myself and to and I am speaking about myself and to myself here when I can get really myself here when I can get really myself here when I can get really protective of my table whoever's there protective of my table whoever's there protective of my table whoever's there especially these big holidays you know especially these big holidays you know especially these big holidays you know well this is the time that I'm just well this is the time that I'm just well this is the time that I'm just going to have my closest friend group or going to have my closest friend group or going to have my closest friend group or this is the time I'm just going to have this is the time I'm just going to have this is the time I'm just going to have my family or this is the time you know my family or this is the time you know my family or this is the time you know that I'm just going to instead of being that I'm just going to instead of being that I'm just going to instead of being more generous with that face and saying more generous with that face and saying more generous with that face and saying who does the Lord want to bring and and who does the Lord want to bring and and who does the Lord want to bring and and realizing and recognizing that it's realizing and recognizing that it's realizing and recognizing that it's going to be a more beautiful richer time going to be a more beautiful richer time going to be a more beautiful richer time because of who is there and I would say because of who is there and I would say because of who is there and I would say that if you are the one who is dreading that if you are the one who is dreading that if you are the one who is dreading the holidays this year because you are

the holidays this year because you are the holidays this year because you are so worried and so sad that it is going so worried and so sad that it is going so worried and so sad that it is going to be a lonely holiday for you. Speak to be a lonely holiday for you. Speak to be a lonely holiday for you. Speak up, reach out. um be proactive in this up, reach out. um be proactive in this up, reach out. um be proactive in this because it is as much as I want to say because it is as much as I want to say because it is as much as I want to say church look around do this we don't church look around do this we don't church look around do this we don't always do it and so I also want to say always do it and so I also want to say always do it and so I also want to say man in say something and say could I be man in say something and say could I be man in say something and say could I be there I mean it's a humbling thing to there I mean it's a humbling thing to there I mean it's a humbling thing to say I'm going to be lonely if I'm not um say I'm going to be lonely if I'm not um say I'm going to be lonely if I'm not um but but I will be better off for being but but I will be better off for being but but I will be better off for being there too like we really need each other there too like we really need each other there too like we really need each other and so for whoever we are can we move and so for whoever we are can we move and so for whoever we are can we move toward towards this idea of the beauty toward towards this idea of the beauty toward towards this idea of the beauty of the fellowship that can be ours. of the fellowship that can be ours. of the fellowship that can be ours. >> Yeah. I even think, you know, one, ask >> Yeah. I even think, you know, one, ask >> Yeah. I even think, you know, one, ask the Lord to find a place for you to be, the Lord to find a place for you to be, the Lord to find a place for you to be, but I think if you ask your your pastor but I think if you ask your your pastor but I think if you ask your your pastor or your elder even to say, "Hey, you may or your elder even to say, "Hey, you may or your elder even to say, "Hey, you may not know I I can't go home for a variety not know I I can't go home for a variety not know I I can't go home for a variety of reasons or maybe there's no home to of reasons or maybe there's no home to of reasons or maybe there's no home to go to or whatever." Just tell them your go to or whatever." Just tell them your go to or whatever." Just tell them your story and say, "Will you pray for me story and say, "Will you pray for me story and say, "Will you pray for me because I'm I'm really worried about because I'm I'm really worried about because I'm I'm really worried about being lonely." I think just that being lonely." I think just that being lonely." I think just that willingness to share. Sometimes people willingness to share. Sometimes people willingness to share. Sometimes people just don't know.

just don't know. just don't know. >> They just don't know. >> They just don't know. >> They just don't know. >> Here's what I'm going to say. My >> Here's what I'm going to say. My >> Here's what I'm going to say. My sister-in-law does this so well. She um sister-in-law does this so well. She um sister-in-law does this so well. She um >> I tell you, every Christmas Eve, we've >> I tell you, every Christmas Eve, we've >> I tell you, every Christmas Eve, we've done Christmas Eve together, I don't done Christmas Eve together, I don't done Christmas Eve together, I don't even know how many years. There are even know how many years. There are even know how many years. There are there are extra people at her table. She there are extra people at her table. She there are extra people at her table. She may have she may have asked him the week may have she may have asked him the week may have she may have asked him the week before, but she also may have just seen before, but she also may have just seen before, but she also may have just seen him at Christmas Eve service and said, him at Christmas Eve service and said, him at Christmas Eve service and said, "Hey, do you have anywhere to go to for "Hey, do you have anywhere to go to for "Hey, do you have anywhere to go to for dinner tonight?" Just brings them over. dinner tonight?" Just brings them over. dinner tonight?" Just brings them over. And I can tell you it is richer because And I can tell you it is richer because And I can tell you it is richer because of it. And let let me also say everyone of it. And let let me also say everyone of it. And let let me also say everyone acts a little bit. They're better on the acts a little bit. They're better on the acts a little bit. They're better on the family is better behaved when when guests are around. And so it's when when guests are around. And so it's not actually a bad thing because not actually a bad thing because not actually a bad thing because everybody's like, "Oh, we we got we everybody's like, "Oh, we we got we everybody's like, "Oh, we we got we gotta we gota we got to really show up gotta we gota we got to really show up gotta we gota we got to really show up because there there are other people because there there are other people because there there are other people here." But I'll just say and and you here." But I'll just say and and you here." But I'll just say and and you know and even my mom did this. Um know and even my mom did this. Um know and even my mom did this. Um everyone was always welcome and I just everyone was always welcome and I just everyone was always welcome and I just really appreciate it looking back. Um I really appreciate it looking back. Um I really appreciate it looking back. Um I knew I could just invite extra people to knew I could just invite extra people to knew I could just invite extra people to stuff and it it was okay. And I think stuff and it it was okay. And I think stuff and it it was okay. And I think having having having that view of family where it's that um that view of family where it's that um that view of family where it's that um hey y'all come in like we Yeah. But hey y'all come in like we Yeah. But hey y'all come in like we Yeah. But we've create there were Yeah, we've we've create there were Yeah, we've we've create there were Yeah, we've created this space. I'm making a turkey.

created this space. I'm making a turkey. created this space. I'm making a turkey. Bring it. Brought one more person's Bring it. Brought one more person's Bring it. Brought one more person's there going to be enough. We'll just there going to be enough. We'll just there going to be enough. We'll just make a little extra pack of gravy if we make a little extra pack of gravy if we make a little extra pack of gravy if we have to or whatever. Yeah. I mean, we'll have to or whatever. Yeah. I mean, we'll have to or whatever. Yeah. I mean, we'll we'll we'll do what we need. But I do we'll we'll do what we need. But I do we'll we'll do what we need. But I do think that openness think that openness think that openness um can be such a blessing not just to um can be such a blessing not just to um can be such a blessing not just to the church family, but to your own the church family, but to your own the church family, but to your own family. And I I just family. And I I just family. And I I just >> I I love having the eyes to see, and I >> I I love having the eyes to see, and I >> I I love having the eyes to see, and I want to do better at that. But I've want to do better at that. But I've want to do better at that. But I've really learned it from both of them. Um, really learned it from both of them. Um, really learned it from both of them. Um, just their willingness cuz I can be a just their willingness cuz I can be a just their willingness cuz I can be a little bit too much, a little bit too little bit too much, a little bit too little bit too much, a little bit too concerned like do I have enough plates? concerned like do I have enough plates? concerned like do I have enough plates? Do I have enough? You know what? Like Do I have enough? You know what? Like Do I have enough? You know what? Like you adding people can feel I can get too you adding people can feel I can get too you adding people can feel I can get too um logistically minded rather than um logistically minded rather than um logistically minded rather than relationally minded. And I just need to relationally minded. And I just need to relationally minded. And I just need to be like if we pull out some paper be like if we pull out some paper be like if we pull out some paper plates, it's totally okay. Yes. You plates, it's totally okay. Yes. You plates, it's totally okay. Yes. You know, the most ridiculous thing that I know, the most ridiculous thing that I know, the most ridiculous thing that I get kind of weird about so many of them, get kind of weird about so many of them, get kind of weird about so many of them, but one I'll share right now is like how but one I'll share right now is like how but one I'll share right now is like how many people how many chairs I have, you many people how many chairs I have, you many people how many chairs I have, you know? And like like are they all full or know? And like like are they all full or know? And like like are they all full or what if I don't have enough? Like I what if I don't have enough? Like I what if I don't have enough? Like I mean, so we sit on the couch or the a mean, so we sit on the couch or the a mean, so we sit on the couch or the a chair in the I mean it's so funny. I'm chair in the I mean it's so funny. I'm chair in the I mean it's so funny. I'm like, "No, I only have so many chairs."

like, "No, I only have so many chairs." like, "No, I only have so many chairs." And I think the Lord's like, but even as And I think the Lord's like, but even as And I think the Lord's like, but even as you were talking, I was thinking about you were talking, I was thinking about you were talking, I was thinking about Mary and Martha in Luke 10. And you Mary and Martha in Luke 10. And you Mary and Martha in Luke 10. And you know, so often we kind of overplay that know, so often we kind of overplay that know, so often we kind of overplay that story a little bit like, oh, story a little bit like, oh, story a little bit like, oh, Martha was in, right? Martha's overdoing Martha was in, right? Martha's overdoing Martha was in, right? Martha's overdoing all the cooking and all that. And the all the cooking and all that. And the all the cooking and all that. And the reality is we have to do the cooking. reality is we have to do the cooking. reality is we have to do the cooking. Like we kind of are like, "Oh, Martha, Like we kind of are like, "Oh, Martha, Like we kind of are like, "Oh, Martha, silly you." But the reality is, like you silly you." But the reality is, like you silly you." But the reality is, like you said, you're chopping celery while said, you're chopping celery while said, you're chopping celery while they're doing puzzles. And Jesus they're doing puzzles. And Jesus they're doing puzzles. And Jesus commends Mary for the better thing, for commends Mary for the better thing, for commends Mary for the better thing, for sitting and listening and being with sitting and listening and being with sitting and listening and being with him. And um and at Christmas, I think we him. And um and at Christmas, I think we him. And um and at Christmas, I think we really need both. We need to have we really need both. We need to have we really need both. We need to have we need to still prioritize kind of some need to still prioritize kind of some need to still prioritize kind of some alone time with Jesus so that we're um alone time with Jesus so that we're um alone time with Jesus so that we're um just remembering to ask him to do these just remembering to ask him to do these just remembering to ask him to do these things in us and through us and for us. things in us and through us and for us. things in us and through us and for us. Um and then we have to chop the celery Um and then we have to chop the celery Um and then we have to chop the celery or clean the kitchen or whatever the or clean the kitchen or whatever the or clean the kitchen or whatever the dishes have to be done, whatever it is. dishes have to be done, whatever it is. dishes have to be done, whatever it is. Um, but I liked how you were talking Um, but I liked how you were talking Um, but I liked how you were talking about um, just even in that planning how about um, just even in that planning how about um, just even in that planning how we can kind of push into almost more of we can kind of push into almost more of we can kind of push into almost more of like the merry mindset, you know, of of like the merry mindset, you know, of of like the merry mindset, you know, of of yes, these things have to be done and yes, these things have to be done and yes, these things have to be done and yes, I will need enough dishes, but they yes, I will need enough dishes, but they yes, I will need enough dishes, but they may not all match and some of them may may not all match and some of them may may not all match and some of them may be paper and what you know, whatever it be paper and what you know, whatever it be paper and what you know, whatever it is we have to let go of, I guess, is is we have to let go of, I guess, is is we have to let go of, I guess, is what what what >> I'm kind of pushing towards is like we >> I'm kind of pushing towards is like we >> I'm kind of pushing towards is like we just sometimes have to let go of things just sometimes have to let go of things just sometimes have to let go of things in order to do this thing that you're in order to do this thing that you're in order to do this thing that you're holding out to us, which is a beautiful holding out to us, which is a beautiful holding out to us, which is a beautiful inclusion of neighbors and friends and inclusion of neighbors and friends and inclusion of neighbors and friends and co-workers and church members and, you co-workers and church members and, you co-workers and church members and, you know, including them in the feast that

know, including them in the feast that know, including them in the feast that the Lord has provided um and and the the Lord has provided um and and the the Lord has provided um and and the beautiful thing that he's doing beautiful thing that he's doing beautiful thing that he's doing hopefully in us um and and through us. hopefully in us um and and through us. hopefully in us um and and through us. Okay, so we said we were going to talk Okay, so we said we were going to talk Okay, so we said we were going to talk about this and I think it's really about this and I think it's really about this and I think it's really important that we do. So, what scripture important that we do. So, what scripture important that we do. So, what scripture passages is there anything that would be passages is there anything that would be passages is there anything that would be helpful as as all of you all and we're helpful as as all of you all and we're helpful as as all of you all and we're heading into these next six weeks. Are heading into these next six weeks. Are heading into these next six weeks. Are there some good places to go in there some good places to go in there some good places to go in scripture specifically stick with your scripture specifically stick with your scripture specifically stick with your same reading plan? I'm not saying just same reading plan? I'm not saying just same reading plan? I'm not saying just jump out of that. Stay in your same jump out of that. Stay in your same jump out of that. Stay in your same reading plan. But is there something reading plan. But is there something reading plan. But is there something that maybe you could memorize or that that maybe you could memorize or that that maybe you could memorize or that you could really meditate on over the you could really meditate on over the you could really meditate on over the next six weeks that would help just keep next six weeks that would help just keep next six weeks that would help just keep it before you? This thing that we're it before you? This thing that we're it before you? This thing that we're talking about? That's a great question. talking about? That's a great question. talking about? That's a great question. I'm always big or I've become big on I'm always big or I've become big on I'm always big or I've become big on memorizing psalms because I just think memorizing psalms because I just think memorizing psalms because I just think they turn our hearts. they turn our hearts. they turn our hearts. >> That's kind of a promo for the >> That's kind of a promo for the >> That's kind of a promo for the conference. I conference. I conference. I >> did not mean that to be >> did not mean that to be >> did not mean that to be >> they turn our eyes, Melissa. They turn >> they turn our eyes, Melissa. They turn >> they turn our eyes, Melissa. They turn >> our eyes so it can prepare you for >> our eyes so it can prepare you for >> our eyes so it can prepare you for coming to TGCW26 this summer, which is coming to TGCW26 this summer, which is coming to TGCW26 this summer, which is June 11th through 13th. Look at you, June 11th through 13th. Look at you, June 11th through 13th. Look at you, girl. Look at me. I've been around you girl. Look at me. I've been around you girl. Look at me. I've been around you long enough to remember. That was not long enough to remember. That was not long enough to remember. That was not meant to be, but we would love you meant to be, but we would love you meant to be, but we would love you there. But, uh, I've been I've been there. But, uh, I've been I've been there. But, uh, I've been I've been memorizing Psalm 66. Um, you know, it memorizing Psalm 66. Um, you know, it memorizing Psalm 66. Um, you know, it just starts with this. Shout to joy.

just starts with this. Shout to joy. just starts with this. Shout to joy. Yeah. Shout with joy to God all the Yeah. Shout with joy to God all the Yeah. Shout with joy to God all the earth. I mean, it it raises your heart earth. I mean, it it raises your heart earth. I mean, it it raises your heart just to start saying it to yourself over just to start saying it to yourself over just to start saying it to yourself over and over and over again. and over and over again. and over and over again. >> Um, and it reminds you of truth. But I >> Um, and it reminds you of truth. But I >> Um, and it reminds you of truth. But I also I I do love Advent devotionals. also I I do love Advent devotionals. also I I do love Advent devotionals. There are some great ones out there. And There are some great ones out there. And There are some great ones out there. And they do help me and I know we should be they do help me and I know we should be they do help me and I know we should be celebrating the incarnation, you know, celebrating the incarnation, you know, celebrating the incarnation, you know, all year round and all of that, but I all year round and all of that, but I all year round and all of that, but I think it is it's great, you know, at think it is it's great, you know, at think it is it's great, you know, at Easter to really think about the Easter to really think about the Easter to really think about the resurrection and what happened. And it's resurrection and what happened. And it's resurrection and what happened. And it's great at Christmas to think you became a great at Christmas to think you became a great at Christmas to think you became a baby. I loved it. All my babies were baby. I loved it. All my babies were baby. I loved it. All my babies were born in fall and there was this I I can born in fall and there was this I I can born in fall and there was this I I can just remember holding a little baby just remember holding a little baby just remember holding a little baby and just thinking Jesus did this and just thinking Jesus did this and just thinking Jesus did this like God, you know, so helpless, so like God, you know, so helpless, so like God, you know, so helpless, so needy. It's like what? needy. It's like what? needy. It's like what? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You can't even wrap your mind around it.

>> You can't even wrap your mind around it. >> You can't even wrap your mind around it. >> Yes. Yes. And so it's just the wonder of >> Yes. Yes. And so it's just the wonder of >> Yes. Yes. And so it's just the wonder of that should be wondrous. And I think that should be wondrous. And I think that should be wondrous. And I think it's good to have resources that will it's good to have resources that will it's good to have resources that will help our minds. I know TGC's put help our minds. I know TGC's put help our minds. I know TGC's put together a few devotionals. Um we had together a few devotionals. Um we had together a few devotionals. Um we had the weary world rejoices and then I the weary world rejoices and then I the weary world rejoices and then I think it's unto us. We have two of think it's unto us. We have two of think it's unto us. We have two of those. And I just they're they're set those. And I just they're they're set those. And I just they're they're set out. You read a passage. There's a out. You read a passage. There's a out. You read a passage. There's a reflection. Um read reflect. There was reflection. Um read reflect. There was reflection. Um read reflect. There was another R. Respond. Rehearse. Maybe another R. Respond. Rehearse. Maybe another R. Respond. Rehearse. Maybe respond. Yeah. Rehearse and something respond. Yeah. Rehearse and something respond. Yeah. Rehearse and something like that. Yeah, there was something. like that. Yeah, there was something. like that. Yeah, there was something. And I I think those are genuinely And I I think those are genuinely And I I think those are genuinely helpful um for our hearts to just help helpful um for our hearts to just help helpful um for our hearts to just help us engage. And I think taking the time us engage. And I think taking the time us engage. And I think taking the time to do that and praying through our to do that and praying through our to do that and praying through our attitudes, praying through our fears, attitudes, praying through our fears, attitudes, praying through our fears, praying through our worry, praying praying through our worry, praying praying through our worry, praying through our fretfulness. I mean, the through our fretfulness. I mean, the through our fretfulness. I mean, the Lord says, "Cast all your anxiety on Lord says, "Cast all your anxiety on Lord says, "Cast all your anxiety on me." Um because I care for you. Um and me." Um because I care for you. Um and me." Um because I care for you. Um and he invites us not to be anxious, but but he invites us not to be anxious, but but he invites us not to be anxious, but but to bring our anxieties to him. And he to bring our anxieties to him. And he to bring our anxieties to him. And he promises the peace that transcends promises the peace that transcends promises the peace that transcends understanding will guard our hearts and understanding will guard our hearts and understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And so I think minds in Christ Jesus. And so I think minds in Christ Jesus. And so I think there's that prep work is the most there's that prep work is the most there's that prep work is the most important prep work as we go in. I tend important prep work as we go in. I tend important prep work as we go in. I tend to think of it as I need to get my to think of it as I need to get my to think of it as I need to get my veggies chopped so that I can make the veggies chopped so that I can make the veggies chopped so that I can make the stuffing or I need to, you know, get stuffing or I need to, you know, get stuffing or I need to, you know, get three meals prepared. But the most three meals prepared. But the most three meals prepared. But the most important thing I can do is be, you important thing I can do is be, you important thing I can do is be, you know, spending time in the word and in

know, spending time in the word and in know, spending time in the word and in prayer. Um, and really taking the time prayer. Um, and really taking the time prayer. Um, and really taking the time to sit still before him and let my soul to sit still before him and let my soul to sit still before him and let my soul be transformed because it's in those be transformed because it's in those be transformed because it's in those moments most often that I realize I need moments most often that I realize I need moments most often that I realize I need to apologize for what I said. I need to to apologize for what I said. I need to to apologize for what I said. I need to go to that person and say, "Hey, I go to that person and say, "Hey, I go to that person and say, "Hey, I didn't respond well to that. Um, will didn't respond well to that. Um, will didn't respond well to that. Um, will you please forgive me?" And that that is you please forgive me?" And that that is you please forgive me?" And that that is where relationships are going to where relationships are going to where relationships are going to actually be strengthened in our you know actually be strengthened in our you know actually be strengthened in our you know whoever's in our home. Um but I I think whoever's in our home. Um but I I think whoever's in our home. Um but I I think we need to if I could say prioritize we need to if I could say prioritize we need to if I could say prioritize anything as we prepare that that would anything as we prepare that that would anything as we prepare that that would be bound. What about you? Do you have be bound. What about you? Do you have be bound. What about you? Do you have any passages of scripture that you love any passages of scripture that you love any passages of scripture that you love to meditate on as you go in? to meditate on as you go in? to meditate on as you go in? >> Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about that. Um but before I share it, can I just say Um but before I share it, can I just say Um but before I share it, can I just say I'm astounded at how many times you've I'm astounded at how many times you've I'm astounded at how many times you've mentioned chopping veggies. I feel like mentioned chopping veggies. I feel like mentioned chopping veggies. I feel like you have a lot of veggies in your you have a lot of veggies in your you have a lot of veggies in your stuffing and that is not I put sausage stuffing and that is not I put sausage stuffing and that is not I put sausage and bacon and pecans. I'm like I just and bacon and pecans. I'm like I just and bacon and pecans. I'm like I just don't put anyway you just you have a lot don't put anyway you just you have a lot don't put anyway you just you have a lot of veggies in your and you just you of veggies in your and you just you of veggies in your and you just you talked about chopping veggies and I just talked about chopping veggies and I just talked about chopping veggies and I just >> that's just too many veggies. It's >> that's just too many veggies. It's >> that's just too many veggies. It's Thanksgiving and Christmas. So Thanksgiving and Christmas. So Thanksgiving and Christmas. So >> put a note in the comments if you're >> put a note in the comments if you're >> put a note in the comments if you're with me. Boy with me. Boy with me. Boy butter.

butter. butter. >> No, no, no. But these veggies have two >> No, no, no. But these veggies have two >> No, no, no. But these veggies have two sticks of butter. sticks of butter. sticks of butter. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, I can do >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, I can do >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, I can do that. Okay. that. Okay. that. Okay. >> And it's really just like onions and >> And it's really just like onions and >> And it's really just like onions and celeries. I'm making it a big deal celeries. I'm making it a big deal celeries. I'm making it a big deal because the chopping a long time. because the chopping a long time. because the chopping a long time. >> It's a lot of chopping. It's a lot of >> It's a lot of chopping. It's a lot of >> It's a lot of chopping. It's a lot of chopping. I don't know if anybody else chopping. I don't know if anybody else chopping. I don't know if anybody else noticed how much chopping Melissa was noticed how much chopping Melissa was noticed how much chopping Melissa was doing, but um I'm probably stirring doing, but um I'm probably stirring doing, but um I'm probably stirring because I'm making cookies. Okay. But I because I'm making cookies. Okay. But I because I'm making cookies. Okay. But I would say that you know what I really do would say that you know what I really do would say that you know what I really do keep before me through the holidays is keep before me through the holidays is keep before me through the holidays is Galatians 5:22. Um and I go through it Galatians 5:22. Um and I go through it Galatians 5:22. Um and I go through it slowly. So it's the fruit of the spirit, slowly. So it's the fruit of the spirit, slowly. So it's the fruit of the spirit, but it's like okay, love. Am I being but it's like okay, love. Am I being but it's like okay, love. Am I being loving? Joy. Is there joy? Peace. loving? Joy. Is there joy? Peace. loving? Joy. Is there joy? Peace. Patience. That's a hard one. Patience. Patience. That's a hard one. Patience. Patience. That's a hard one. Patience. Kindness. That word alone is so powerful Kindness. That word alone is so powerful Kindness. That word alone is so powerful to me just to ask myself, am I being to me just to ask myself, am I being to me just to ask myself, am I being kind? kind? kind? >> You know, faithful. I think I skipped >> You know, faithful. I think I skipped >> You know, faithful. I think I skipped one, right? Faithfulness, gentleness. one, right? Faithfulness, gentleness. one, right? Faithfulness, gentleness. >> I always forget like goodness. Goodness. >> I always forget like goodness. Goodness. >> I always forget like goodness. Goodness. I forget. Just be good to people. Do I forget. Just be good to people. Do I forget. Just be good to people. Do good to people. good to people. good to people. >> Um, and self-control. Am I right? I was >> Um, and self-control. Am I right? I was >> Um, and self-control. Am I right? I was going to say you forgot self control. Is going to say you forgot self control. Is going to say you forgot self control. Is that because we were talking about that because we were talking about that because we were talking about stuffing and cookies? Stuffing and stuffing and cookies? Stuffing and stuffing and cookies? Stuffing and cookies.

cookies. cookies. >> And then I say self-control in >> And then I say self-control in >> And then I say self-control in moderation during the holidays moderation during the holidays moderation during the holidays cuz the cookies need to be a part. cuz the cookies need to be a part. cuz the cookies need to be a part. >> The cookies need to Oh, talking about >> The cookies need to Oh, talking about >> The cookies need to Oh, talking about expectations. So, last year, my youngest expectations. So, last year, my youngest expectations. So, last year, my youngest daughter had set out to make Christmas daughter had set out to make Christmas daughter had set out to make Christmas cookies with her five or her four cookies with her five or her four cookies with her five or her four nephews and her one niece, um, who are nephews and her one niece, um, who are nephews and her one niece, um, who are still pretty little. And so, she made I still pretty little. And so, she made I still pretty little. And so, she made I don't know, like tripled or quadrupled don't know, like tripled or quadrupled don't know, like tripled or quadrupled the recipe, and I mean, before those the recipe, and I mean, before those the recipe, and I mean, before those things were even like going in the oven, things were even like going in the oven, things were even like going in the oven, so the decoration hasn't even happened so the decoration hasn't even happened so the decoration hasn't even happened yet, she's like, "Can anybody come help yet, she's like, "Can anybody come help yet, she's like, "Can anybody come help me with this?" Because the expectation me with this?" Because the expectation me with this?" Because the expectation was it was just going to be idyllic and was it was just going to be idyllic and was it was just going to be idyllic and the five little kids were going to just the five little kids were going to just the five little kids were going to just be participatory and it was going to be be participatory and it was going to be be participatory and it was going to be this wonderful thing is she was this wonderful thing is she was this wonderful thing is she was exhausted at the end of it. I mean exhausted at the end of it. I mean exhausted at the end of it. I mean exhausted. She's like I am never doing exhausted. She's like I am never doing exhausted. She's like I am never doing that again. I'm like I know it's a lot that again. I'm like I know it's a lot that again. I'm like I know it's a lot but her expectations in reality were but her expectations in reality were but her expectations in reality were very very very different. So, Courtney, very very very different. So, Courtney, very very very different. So, Courtney, I love I think Galatians 5:22 would be I love I think Galatians 5:22 would be I love I think Galatians 5:22 would be great for anyone. You know, if if you great for anyone. You know, if if you great for anyone. You know, if if you want to print out something to put on want to print out something to put on want to print out something to put on your fridge or to put wherever in your your fridge or to put wherever in your your fridge or to put wherever in your house, maybe by your sink, wherever house, maybe by your sink, wherever house, maybe by your sink, wherever you're going to be, that might just be a you're going to be, that might just be a you're going to be, that might just be a good reminder. We also have something good reminder. We also have something good reminder. We also have something I'm really excited about. Our team I'm really excited about. Our team I'm really excited about. Our team helped us with this. It's just a helped us with this. It's just a helped us with this. It's just a printable um PDF that I think it's it's printable um PDF that I think it's it's printable um PDF that I think it's it's so well done. It asks some questions. It so well done. It asks some questions. It so well done. It asks some questions. It gives some, it says, "Feast with on the gives some, it says, "Feast with on the gives some, it says, "Feast with on the word, draw near in prayer, express word, draw near in prayer, express word, draw near in prayer, express gratitude, offer worship, serve others."

gratitude, offer worship, serve others." gratitude, offer worship, serve others." It actually gives some helpful tips to It actually gives some helpful tips to It actually gives some helpful tips to set your mind um on things above. Yeah. set your mind um on things above. Yeah. set your mind um on things above. Yeah. And I'm always struck by how many And I'm always struck by how many And I'm always struck by how many scriptures talk about our mind, right? scriptures talk about our mind, right? scriptures talk about our mind, right? Consider uh think upon these things, Consider uh think upon these things, Consider uh think upon these things, prepare your mind for action. And I prepare your mind for action. And I prepare your mind for action. And I think that this is just such a great think that this is just such a great think that this is just such a great printable that you can print out. um printable that you can print out. um printable that you can print out. um maybe do it in the next week to just maybe do it in the next week to just maybe do it in the next week to just prepare your minds as you as you head prepare your minds as you as you head prepare your minds as you as you head into um a holiday that will in some ways into um a holiday that will in some ways into um a holiday that will in some ways um disappoint at at some point. And um disappoint at at some point. And um disappoint at at some point. And hopefully um that will allow even when hopefully um that will allow even when hopefully um that will allow even when it disappoints. This is what I even it disappoints. This is what I even it disappoints. This is what I even think sometimes about my own struggles think sometimes about my own struggles think sometimes about my own struggles with sin and things like that. It does with sin and things like that. It does with sin and things like that. It does turn our eyes back to Jesus turn our eyes back to Jesus turn our eyes back to Jesus >> and say thank you that yeah this feast >> and say thank you that yeah this feast >> and say thank you that yeah this feast will will will disappoint. But one day will will will disappoint. But one day will will will disappoint. But one day one day we're going to be in the new one day we're going to be in the new one day we're going to be in the new heavens and the new earth and we are heavens and the new earth and we are heavens and the new earth and we are going to feast and there will be no going to feast and there will be no going to feast and there will be no sighing, no sadness, no sorrow. And our sighing, no sadness, no sorrow. And our sighing, no sadness, no sorrow. And our hearts are rightly longing for that. And hearts are rightly longing for that. And hearts are rightly longing for that. And so that's that's what we're looking so that's that's what we're looking so that's that's what we're looking forward to. Um, okay. Well, so we always forward to. Um, okay. Well, so we always forward to. Um, okay. Well, so we always end on a fun on a fun question or end on a fun on a fun question or end on a fun on a fun question or something. And I love this one because something. And I love this one because something. And I love this one because the gift of all gifts is about the gift of all gifts is about the gift of all gifts is about giftgiving and why we give gifts at giftgiving and why we give gifts at giftgiving and why we give gifts at Christmas. So let me ask you this.

Christmas. So let me ask you this. Christmas. So let me ask you this. What's your favorite me memory of giving What's your favorite me memory of giving What's your favorite me memory of giving someone else a gift on Christmas? What someone else a gift on Christmas? What someone else a gift on Christmas? What did you love giving? I just love giving did you love giving? I just love giving did you love giving? I just love giving gifts. like I can hardly wait and I love gifts. like I can hardly wait and I love gifts. like I can hardly wait and I love the ones that were not on their list, the ones that were not on their list, the ones that were not on their list, but I know they're going to kind of be but I know they're going to kind of be but I know they're going to kind of be like a hit. So, but last Christmas um my like a hit. So, but last Christmas um my like a hit. So, but last Christmas um my four little grandsons are completely four little grandsons are completely four little grandsons are completely into Spider-Man, all of them. So, I saw into Spider-Man, all of them. So, I saw into Spider-Man, all of them. So, I saw on Instagram these blankets that you can on Instagram these blankets that you can on Instagram these blankets that you can buy that puts their face on a different buy that puts their face on a different buy that puts their face on a different like Spidey pose, you know? So, I did I like Spidey pose, you know? So, I did I like Spidey pose, you know? So, I did I did different ones for each of them did different ones for each of them did different ones for each of them where they're like flying through the where they're like flying through the where they're like flying through the air, but it's their face in Spider-Man's air, but it's their face in Spider-Man's air, but it's their face in Spider-Man's body. I mean, I could hardly wait for body. I mean, I could hardly wait for body. I mean, I could hardly wait for them to open them. But I'm also the one them to open them. But I'm also the one them to open them. But I'm also the one that I'm one daughter and I are the that I'm one daughter and I are the that I'm one daughter and I are the first ones up. 5:30 on Christmas first ones up. 5:30 on Christmas first ones up. 5:30 on Christmas morning, we are like, when is everybody morning, we are like, when is everybody morning, we are like, when is everybody else going to get up? I mean, I like I else going to get up? I mean, I like I else going to get up? I mean, I like I love it so much. I love getting gifts as love it so much. I love getting gifts as love it so much. I love getting gifts as much as I love giving gifts. So, I'm much as I love giving gifts. So, I'm much as I love giving gifts. So, I'm still like the whole thing is still uh still like the whole thing is still uh still like the whole thing is still uh very very fun for me. What about you?

very very fun for me. What about you? very very fun for me. What about you? Okay, I'm actually going to share not I Okay, I'm actually going to share not I Okay, I'm actually going to share not I love gift giving and I really love love gift giving and I really love love gift giving and I really love giving good gifts, but the one I giving good gifts, but the one I giving good gifts, but the one I remember that was like the winner gift remember that was like the winner gift remember that was like the winner gift one year was one that Emma, my daughter, one year was one that Emma, my daughter, one year was one that Emma, my daughter, got for John. And it was one of those got for John. And it was one of those got for John. And it was one of those times I was like that was just the best times I was like that was just the best times I was like that was just the best gift. So, my son, he loves building gift. So, my son, he loves building gift. So, my son, he loves building rockets. He's an aerospace major. you rockets. He's an aerospace major. you rockets. He's an aerospace major. you know, he uh this all this all started know, he uh this all this all started know, he uh this all this all started when he watched Apollo 13 and October when he watched Apollo 13 and October when he watched Apollo 13 and October Sky. Both movies I recommend. They're so Sky. Both movies I recommend. They're so Sky. Both movies I recommend. They're so fun to watch, you know, together over fun to watch, you know, together over fun to watch, you know, together over the holidays if you're looking for the holidays if you're looking for the holidays if you're looking for something to watch. They're both really something to watch. They're both really something to watch. They're both really fun. And she wrote Gem Levelvel, I fun. And she wrote Gem Levelvel, I fun. And she wrote Gem Levelvel, I think. Was he on Apollo 13? I think so. think. Was he on Apollo 13? I think so. think. Was he on Apollo 13? I think so. I may have my facts wrong. She wrote his I may have my facts wrong. She wrote his I may have my facts wrong. She wrote his wife and said, "Could you get him to wife and said, "Could you get him to wife and said, "Could you get him to sign this letter for my brother?" And he sign this letter for my brother?" And he sign this letter for my brother?" And he has this letter that he wrote talking has this letter that he wrote talking has this letter that he wrote talking about, you know, his love of space and about, you know, his love of space and about, you know, his love of space and all of this stuff. And it's signed by all of this stuff. And it's signed by all of this stuff. And it's signed by him. And it was just like the winner him. And it was just like the winner him. And it was just like the winner gift. And I was like, "That was a great gift. And I was like, "That was a great gift. And I was like, "That was a great idea."

idea." idea." >> That's so cool. That's so cool. >> That's so cool. That's so cool. >> That's so cool. That's so cool. >> And to see your kids like >> And to see your kids like >> And to see your kids like >> like she was so excited to give it to >> like she was so excited to give it to >> like she was so excited to give it to him. She couldn't wait to give him. So him. She couldn't wait to give him. So him. She couldn't wait to give him. So anyway, it was just really fun. Okay, anyway, it was just really fun. Okay, anyway, it was just really fun. Okay, friends, um we hope that you have friends, um we hope that you have friends, um we hope that you have enjoyed this bonus episode of the Deep enjoyed this bonus episode of the Deep enjoyed this bonus episode of the Deep Dish from the Gospel Coalition. Um one Dish from the Gospel Coalition. Um one Dish from the Gospel Coalition. Um one thing, if you want to give us a gift thing, if you want to give us a gift thing, if you want to give us a gift this Christmas, one of the things you this Christmas, one of the things you this Christmas, one of the things you can do is actually go over to Apple can do is actually go over to Apple can do is actually go over to Apple Podcast and give us a review. It helps Podcast and give us a review. It helps Podcast and give us a review. It helps other people find this podcast when you other people find this podcast when you other people find this podcast when you do that. Um and so it just people who do that. Um and so it just people who do that. Um and so it just people who maybe have never listened to even a maybe have never listened to even a maybe have never listened to even a Christian podcast, it might draw them Christian podcast, it might draw them Christian podcast, it might draw them in. So that is a big help for us if you in. So that is a big help for us if you in. So that is a big help for us if you would go and do that. But we just hope would go and do that. But we just hope would go and do that. But we just hope that whatever you're going into this that whatever you're going into this that whatever you're going into this holidays that Jesus will be the focus, holidays that Jesus will be the focus, holidays that Jesus will be the focus, that he will be what makes your heart that he will be what makes your heart that he will be what makes your heart thankful. And we wish you all very happy thankful. And we wish you all very happy thankful. And we wish you all very happy Thanksgiving and a merry Christmas.