The One Where We Offend Everyone [The Deep Dish - Ep. 43]

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I think so often we want [music] we want I think so often we want [music] we want it to be where we're just pointing it to be where we're just pointing it to be where we're just pointing fingers at everybody like you don't fingers at everybody like you don't fingers at everybody like you don't understand and you don't know my hurt understand and you don't know my hurt understand and you don't know my hurt and you don't know my story. [music] and you don't know my story. [music] and you don't know my story. [music] instead of just saying, "Okay, wait a instead of just saying, "Okay, wait a instead of just saying, "Okay, wait a minute. I'm actually not going to be minute. I'm actually not going to be minute. I'm actually not going to be able to change everybody else about able to change everybody else about able to change everybody else about this." Go and back to like their motive this." Go and back to like their motive this." Go and back to like their motive isn't even wrong in this. Like they're isn't even wrong in this. Like they're isn't even wrong in this. Like they're just either ignorant or unaware, just either ignorant or unaware, just either ignorant or unaware, whatever it is. whatever it is. whatever it is. [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> Hi friends, welcome to the Deep Dish, a >> Hi friends, welcome to the Deep Dish, a >> Hi friends, welcome to the Deep Dish, a podcast from the Gospel Coalition where podcast from the Gospel Coalition where podcast from the Gospel Coalition where we love having deep conversations about we love having deep conversations about we love having deep conversations about deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I'm deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I'm deep truths. I'm Melissa Krueger and I'm here with my friend and co-host here with my friend and co-host here with my friend and co-host my friend and co-host Courtney Doctor. my friend and co-host Courtney Doctor. my friend and co-host Courtney Doctor. Hey, I am I can't decide if I'm excited Hey, I am I can't decide if I'm excited Hey, I am I can't decide if I'm excited about today's conversation or a little about today's conversation or a little about today's conversation or a little like little fear and trepidation over uh like little fear and trepidation over uh like little fear and trepidation over uh today's topic, but what we're going to today's topic, but what we're going to today's topic, but what we're going to and I loved the title. So, we don't and I loved the title. So, we don't and I loved the title. So, we don't always come up with the titles, but I always come up with the titles, but I always come up with the titles, but I thought that it was a great title. The thought that it was a great title. The thought that it was a great title. The one where we offend everyone because one where we offend everyone because one where we offend everyone because that's what we're going to be talking that's what we're going to be talking that's what we're going to be talking about. this idea that, you know, we just about. this idea that, you know, we just about. this idea that, you know, we just are living in a time where it just feels are living in a time where it just feels are living in a time where it just feels like being offended is not only like being offended is not only like being offended is not only prevalent but incredibly acceptable, prevalent but incredibly acceptable, prevalent but incredibly acceptable, almost expected. It's almost like a it's almost expected. It's almost like a it's almost expected. It's almost like a it's almost become like a a virtue in some almost become like a a virtue in some almost become like a a virtue in some ways, which we're going to talk about.

ways, which we're going to talk about. ways, which we're going to talk about. Just this idea of being offended or Just this idea of being offended or Just this idea of being offended or easily offended. And so, and I don't easily offended. And so, and I don't easily offended. And so, and I don't think it's just in kind of the world. I think it's just in kind of the world. I think it's just in kind of the world. I think it's in the church. Absolutely. think it's in the church. Absolutely. think it's in the church. Absolutely. Um, in the church, too. So, we're going Um, in the church, too. So, we're going Um, in the church, too. So, we're going to dive into this. Courtney, are you to dive into this. Courtney, are you to dive into this. Courtney, are you talking about me? I'm feeling kind of talking about me? I'm feeling kind of talking about me? I'm feeling kind of like offended that you're directing this like offended that you're directing this like offended that you're directing this to me. No, [laughter] no, we are we are to me. No, [laughter] no, we are we are to me. No, [laughter] no, we are we are we are going to try not to offend we are going to try not to offend we are going to try not to offend everyone hopefully. But I do um I do everyone hopefully. But I do um I do everyone hopefully. But I do um I do think this is a really good topic think this is a really good topic think this is a really good topic because I do think people are really because I do think people are really because I do think people are really quick to take offense in our day and quick to take offense in our day and quick to take offense in our day and age. Um it can be whether you said the age. Um it can be whether you said the age. Um it can be whether you said the wrong thing on social media or perhaps wrong thing on social media or perhaps wrong thing on social media or perhaps you didn't post on social media. you you didn't post on social media. you you didn't post on social media. you know, like I I've been I've I've been know, like I I've been I've I've been know, like I I've been I've I've been approached about why I didn't say approached about why I didn't say approached about why I didn't say something about something, you know, I'm something about something, you know, I'm something about something, you know, I'm like, "Wow, I'm offending by not saying like, "Wow, I'm offending by not saying like, "Wow, I'm offending by not saying or you're offending by saying." It could or you're offending by saying." It could or you're offending by saying." It could be the way the church announcement was be the way the church announcement was be the way the church announcement was written. Somehow it was offensive, you written. Somehow it was offensive, you written. Somehow it was offensive, you know, or or maybe what time was picked know, or or maybe what time was picked know, or or maybe what time was picked for the church picnic or whatever. Um it for the church picnic or whatever. Um it for the church picnic or whatever. Um it it seems like in our day and age, we can it seems like in our day and age, we can it seems like in our day and age, we can be looking for ways to be offended. And be looking for ways to be offended. And be looking for ways to be offended. And like you said, I do think it can be a like you said, I do think it can be a like you said, I do think it can be a badge of honor. So, do you see this kind badge of honor. So, do you see this kind badge of honor. So, do you see this kind of as part of a larger victim mentality of as part of a larger victim mentality of as part of a larger victim mentality in our culture? You know, it's it's like in our culture? You know, it's it's like in our culture? You know, it's it's like it used I think it used to be different.

it used I think it used to be different. it used I think it used to be different. You never shared what was hard and that You never shared what was hard and that You never shared what was hard and that has its own set of problems. But right has its own set of problems. But right has its own set of problems. But right now, I feel like we've moved into a now, I feel like we've moved into a now, I feel like we've moved into a you're known by your problems. I don't you're known by your problems. I don't you're known by your problems. I don't know. What do you think? Well, I think know. What do you think? Well, I think know. What do you think? Well, I think that the victim mentality connection is that the victim mentality connection is that the victim mentality connection is actually really helpful because in some actually really helpful because in some actually really helpful because in some ways that to be offended is to kind of ways that to be offended is to kind of ways that to be offended is to kind of put ourselves in the place of of the one put ourselves in the place of of the one put ourselves in the place of of the one who was was victimized, you know. So, I who was was victimized, you know. So, I who was was victimized, you know. So, I think that that's actually a really good think that that's actually a really good think that that's actually a really good correlation. But I think both of those correlation. But I think both of those correlation. But I think both of those victim mentality and and easily offended victim mentality and and easily offended victim mentality and and easily offended and and I we'll talk later probably and and I we'll talk later probably and and I we'll talk later probably about like true victimization like true about like true victimization like true about like true victimization like true like I'm not talking about that. That's like I'm not talking about that. That's like I'm not talking about that. That's not what we're talking about here. But I not what we're talking about here. But I not what we're talking about here. But I do think that the underlying issue is um do think that the underlying issue is um do think that the underlying issue is um the fact that we are living in a culture the fact that we are living in a culture the fact that we are living in a culture that prioritizes self above all things. that prioritizes self above all things. that prioritizes self above all things. And so that prioritization of self above And so that prioritization of self above And so that prioritization of self above everything else and above everybody else everything else and above everybody else everything else and above everybody else I think is at the root of this. And you I think is at the root of this. And you I think is at the root of this. And you you double that or you compound it by you double that or you compound it by you double that or you compound it by the fact that we are very feelings-based the fact that we are very feelings-based the fact that we are very feelings-based very feelings based right now. Like your very feelings based right now. Like your very feelings based right now. Like your feelings and my feelings about any given feelings and my feelings about any given feelings and my feelings about any given situation or topic are preeminent. I situation or topic are preeminent. I situation or topic are preeminent. I mean and they're not. I mean I'm saying mean and they're not. I mean I'm saying mean and they're not. I mean I'm saying that's that's kind of the cultural that's that's kind of the cultural that's that's kind of the cultural moment is like how you feel about this moment is like how you feel about this moment is like how you feel about this thing is um so you are most important thing is um so you are most important thing is um so you are most important and your feelings about Yeah. Yeah. So

and your feelings about Yeah. Yeah. So and your feelings about Yeah. Yeah. So it's you and your feelings those are it's you and your feelings those are it's you and your feelings those are going to be like the preeminent thing. going to be like the preeminent thing. going to be like the preeminent thing. And so I think that that's why that's And so I think that that's why that's And so I think that that's why that's why we're seeing it right now. So why we're seeing it right now. So why we're seeing it right now. So victimization easily offended they kind victimization easily offended they kind victimization easily offended they kind of all go together. I was I was of all go together. I was I was of all go together. I was I was remembering um second Timothy where Paul remembering um second Timothy where Paul remembering um second Timothy where Paul was writing that in the last days and was writing that in the last days and was writing that in the last days and you know we all know that like from the you know we all know that like from the you know we all know that like from the time of the ascension until he comes time of the ascension until he comes time of the ascension until he comes again. That's what the Bible calls the again. That's what the Bible calls the again. That's what the Bible calls the last days. So it doesn't mean like you last days. So it doesn't mean like you last days. So it doesn't mean like you know we're saying whatever date you know know we're saying whatever date you know know we're saying whatever date you know Jesus is coming again. Who knows? Please Jesus is coming again. Who knows? Please Jesus is coming again. Who knows? Please come again Jesus. But the last days that come again Jesus. But the last days that come again Jesus. But the last days that we're living in um Paul wrote to Timothy we're living in um Paul wrote to Timothy we're living in um Paul wrote to Timothy and he says that one of the marks of the and he says that one of the marks of the and he says that one of the marks of the age are people are going to be lovers of age are people are going to be lovers of age are people are going to be lovers of self. I'm like, yes, we see that. And self. I'm like, yes, we see that. And self. I'm like, yes, we see that. And then he says lovers of money, but then then he says lovers of money, but then then he says lovers of money, but then he says proud, arrogant, abusive, he says proud, arrogant, abusive, he says proud, arrogant, abusive, ungrateful. There's other things in that ungrateful. There's other things in that ungrateful. There's other things in that list, but I think those are all wrapped list, but I think those are all wrapped list, but I think those are all wrapped up in in this that that create the up in in this that that create the up in in this that that create the situation to be easily offended, to be a situation to be easily offended, to be a situation to be easily offended, to be a lover of self, to be proud, to be lover of self, to be proud, to be lover of self, to be proud, to be arrogant, to be ungrateful. Those all um arrogant, to be ungrateful. Those all um arrogant, to be ungrateful. Those all um promote promote promote easy offenses. Yeah. We almost foster easy offenses. Yeah. We almost foster easy offenses. Yeah. We almost foster culturally, don't you think? like culturally, don't you think? like culturally, don't you think? like [clears throat] um it's not just it's [clears throat] um it's not just it's [clears throat] um it's not just it's encouraged like don't let them talk to encouraged like don't let them talk to encouraged like don't let them talk to you that way. Don't let Yeah. And you that way. Don't let Yeah. And you that way. Don't let Yeah. And there's a right there's there's a time there's a right there's there's a time there's a right there's there's a time there is a time when someone's saying there is a time when someone's saying there is a time when someone's saying something inappropriate like there are something inappropriate like there are something inappropriate like there are certain things we shouldn't say to certain things we shouldn't say to certain things we shouldn't say to people. There's a rightness to hey you people. There's a rightness to hey you people. There's a rightness to hey you shouldn't you shouldn't

shouldn't you shouldn't shouldn't you shouldn't be allowed to say certain things but I be allowed to say certain things but I be allowed to say certain things but I think as a culture we're kind of think as a culture we're kind of think as a culture we're kind of fostering she looked at you weird you fostering she looked at you weird you fostering she looked at you weird you should be offended. You know, like should be offended. You know, like should be offended. You know, like everything becomes offense or just the everything becomes offense or just the everything becomes offense or just the we're so centered on me that we think, we're so centered on me that we think, we're so centered on me that we think, how could they not know not to say that how could they not know not to say that how could they not know not to say that to me, you know, and we look around and to me, you know, and we look around and to me, you know, and we look around and it's this but it's just like you said, it's this but it's just like you said, it's this but it's just like you said, it's lover of self that's making us kind it's lover of self that's making us kind it's lover of self that's making us kind of look through all the lens of that of look through all the lens of that of look through all the lens of that hurt me, that, you know, offended me. hurt me, that, you know, offended me. hurt me, that, you know, offended me. Well, let me ask you this. What is the Well, let me ask you this. What is the Well, let me ask you this. What is the Bible? Let's think about what the Bible Bible? Let's think about what the Bible Bible? Let's think about what the Bible I think it's a good place to start. What I think it's a good place to start. What I think it's a good place to start. What does the Bible talk about taking does the Bible talk about taking does the Bible talk about taking offense? Um because it's actually offense? Um because it's actually offense? Um because it's actually surprising how much it's in there. Um surprising how much it's in there. Um surprising how much it's in there. Um when when we start to look at some of when when we start to look at some of when when we start to look at some of these passages like one is Proverbs these passages like one is Proverbs these passages like one is Proverbs 10:12, hatred stirs up strife, but love 10:12, hatred stirs up strife, but love 10:12, hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. And then I thought covers all offenses. And then I thought covers all offenses. And then I thought this one was convicting even this this one was convicting even this this one was convicting even this morning. Whoever con covers an offense morning. Whoever con covers an offense morning. Whoever con covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matters seeks love, but he who repeats a matters seeks love, but he who repeats a matters separates close friends. So here's an separates close friends. So here's an separates close friends. So here's an interesting thing. How do you see when interesting thing. How do you see when interesting thing. How do you see when we're offended that we tend to repeat we're offended that we tend to repeat we're offended that we tend to repeat it? Oh, we love I mean it's to be it? Oh, we love I mean it's to be it? Oh, we love I mean it's to be offended by yourself is not gratifying.

offended by yourself is not gratifying. offended by yourself is not gratifying. You know, we want other I mean it's You know, we want other I mean it's You know, we want other I mean it's actually I mean [laughter] that actually actually I mean [laughter] that actually actually I mean [laughter] that actually to be offended by myself is actually I to be offended by myself is actually I to be offended by myself is actually I think what we're going to get to. It's think what we're going to get to. It's think what we're going to get to. It's this idea of I use the word absorb. Like this idea of I use the word absorb. Like this idea of I use the word absorb. Like I think we're actually called to absorb I think we're actually called to absorb I think we're actually called to absorb offenses. And so here where scripture offenses. And so here where scripture offenses. And so here where scripture talks about it being covering, um I talks about it being covering, um I talks about it being covering, um I think that the the the other way to think that the the the other way to think that the the the other way to think about that is can I bear this think about that is can I bear this think about that is can I bear this alone? Can I just I can't always help alone? Can I just I can't always help alone? Can I just I can't always help the fact that I might feel hurt or or the fact that I might feel hurt or or the fact that I might feel hurt or or even offended about something. But this even offended about something. But this even offended about something. But this idea that I don't have to go repeat it idea that I don't have to go repeat it idea that I don't have to go repeat it to everybody. I think it's the it's in to everybody. I think it's the it's in to everybody. I think it's the it's in the repeating that it becomes this this the repeating that it becomes this this the repeating that it becomes this this thing, but it's just not gratifying to thing, but it's just not gratifying to thing, but it's just not gratifying to be I mean that that calls like I have to be I mean that that calls like I have to be I mean that that calls like I have to dig deep into humility and love of dig deep into humility and love of dig deep into humility and love of others for me not to go repeat it to others for me not to go repeat it to others for me not to go repeat it to someone else. I remember one time I was someone else. I remember one time I was someone else. I remember one time I was in counseling and and the the counselor in counseling and and the the counselor in counseling and and the the counselor was saying something like, "Well, you was saying something like, "Well, you was saying something like, "Well, you need to confront this person over that." need to confront this person over that."

need to confront this person over that." And I thought to myself, I don't And I thought to myself, I don't And I thought to myself, I don't actually have to. I can I can live with actually have to. I can I can live with actually have to. I can I can live with this for the rest of my life and not this for the rest of my life and not this for the rest of my life and not tell someone else. Like I don't I don't tell someone else. Like I don't I don't tell someone else. Like I don't I don't have to seek my have to seek my have to seek my kind of healing or um peace, you know, kind of healing or um peace, you know, kind of healing or um peace, you know, whatever it is through the repeating the whatever it is through the repeating the whatever it is through the repeating the matter to other people even if it's the matter to other people even if it's the matter to other people even if it's the person who offended me. So I I just person who offended me. So I I just person who offended me. So I I just think like this idea of it again it goes think like this idea of it again it goes think like this idea of it again it goes back to the prioritization of self like back to the prioritization of self like back to the prioritization of self like my feelings and me are the most my feelings and me are the most my feelings and me are the most important thing in any given situation important thing in any given situation important thing in any given situation instead of gosh what if what if I'm not instead of gosh what if what if I'm not instead of gosh what if what if I'm not the most important thing in any given the most important thing in any given the most important thing in any given situation. So I think this idea of situation. So I think this idea of situation. So I think this idea of repeating itself, but I was also repeating itself, but I was also repeating itself, but I was also thinking just back to scriptural thinking just back to scriptural thinking just back to scriptural references about 1 Corinthians 13, which references about 1 Corinthians 13, which references about 1 Corinthians 13, which is this beautiful chapter on love. And is this beautiful chapter on love. And is this beautiful chapter on love. And it tells us the the first thing Paul it tells us the the first thing Paul it tells us the the first thing Paul says is is that love is two things, says is is that love is two things, says is is that love is two things, patient and kind. And some translations patient and kind. And some translations patient and kind. And some translations for the word patient use use the word for the word patient use use the word for the word patient use use the word long-suffering. And even in Bible study long-suffering. And even in Bible study long-suffering. And even in Bible study last night, I was talking about somebody last night, I was talking about somebody last night, I was talking about somebody used the word longsuffering and I was used the word longsuffering and I was used the word longsuffering and I was talking about that word like that's talking about that word like that's talking about that word like that's actually ultimately this is true about actually ultimately this is true about actually ultimately this is true about God that he is longsuffering. And so God that he is longsuffering. And so God that he is longsuffering. And so this idea that you bear with somebody this idea that you bear with somebody this idea that you bear with somebody for a long time over and over there are for a long time over and over there are for a long time over and over there are there are repeated things that require there are repeated things that require there are repeated things that require patience that require you know and there

patience that require you know and there patience that require you know and there is suffering in it. But the fact that is suffering in it. But the fact that is suffering in it. But the fact that the Lord does that with us, like the Lord does that with us, like the Lord does that with us, like long-suffering. long-suffering. long-suffering. Um, so I just thought like that is such Um, so I just thought like that is such Um, so I just thought like that is such a good word for us as we talk about a good word for us as we talk about a good word for us as we talk about being easily offended. Like can we be being easily offended. Like can we be being easily offended. Like can we be long-suffering with people? Um, and then long-suffering with people? Um, and then long-suffering with people? Um, and then it goes on to say that it bears love it goes on to say that it bears love it goes on to say that it bears love bears all things. Gosh, I mean, can I bears all things. Gosh, I mean, can I bears all things. Gosh, I mean, can I bear Yeah, it's just it's exactly what bear Yeah, it's just it's exactly what bear Yeah, it's just it's exactly what you were saying, Melissa, about you were saying, Melissa, about you were saying, Melissa, about covering. Can we bear with what were you covering. Can we bear with what were you covering. Can we bear with what were you going to say? going to say? going to say? >> Well, yeah. I was just thinking I I do >> Well, yeah. I was just thinking I I do >> Well, yeah. I was just thinking I I do think part of our take offense culture think part of our take offense culture think part of our take offense culture is you're supposed to confront in in our is you're supposed to confront in in our is you're supposed to confront in in our Christian world, you're supposed to Christian world, you're supposed to Christian world, you're supposed to confront sin every time you see it. And confront sin every time you see it. And confront sin every time you see it. And I you know and and it actually says when I you know and and it actually says when I you know and and it actually says when someone's caught in sin, someone's caught in sin, someone's caught in sin, you know, so so like oneoff sins I mean you know, so so like oneoff sins I mean you know, so so like oneoff sins I mean there are sometimes one-off sins need to there are sometimes one-off sins need to there are sometimes one-off sins need to be confronted. look, you know, I mean, be confronted. look, you know, I mean, be confronted. look, you know, I mean, like that that's what I'm saying. But like that that's what I'm saying. But like that that's what I'm saying. But like a oneoff, oh, you know, somebody like a oneoff, oh, you know, somebody like a oneoff, oh, you know, somebody did something that was offensive or even did something that was offensive or even did something that was offensive or even sinful against me. Like I I think we can sinful against me. Like I I think we can sinful against me. Like I I think we can we can call it, but sometimes we can we can call it, but sometimes we can we can call it, but sometimes we can just forgive it. Yeah. I think of Jesus just forgive it. Yeah. I think of Jesus just forgive it. Yeah. I think of Jesus on the cross, he just said, "Forgive on the cross, he just said, "Forgive on the cross, he just said, "Forgive them. They know not what they do."

them. They know not what they do." them. They know not what they do." Because sometimes they're not even aware Because sometimes they're not even aware Because sometimes they're not even aware that they're sinning against you. So that they're sinning against you. So that they're sinning against you. So that's also a whole different category. that's also a whole different category. that's also a whole different category. Sometimes people just have no idea. But Sometimes people just have no idea. But Sometimes people just have no idea. But I but I do think you know when we even I but I do think you know when we even I but I do think you know when we even think about when am I supposed to think about when am I supposed to think about when am I supposed to confront this in another person am I confront this in another person am I confront this in another person am I looking at are they caught in a sin looking at are they caught in a sin looking at are they caught in a sin pattern or am I just offended that's a pattern or am I just offended that's a pattern or am I just offended that's a big difference big difference big difference >> you know like one is looking toward the >> you know like one is looking toward the >> you know like one is looking toward the other person and one is looking towards other person and one is looking towards other person and one is looking towards self and we kind of want payment because self and we kind of want payment because self and we kind of want payment because you hurt me or or whatever and and so we you hurt me or or whatever and and so we you hurt me or or whatever and and so we I think that's a helpful way to I think that's a helpful way to I think that's a helpful way to different I've tried to differentiate different I've tried to differentiate different I've tried to differentiate between the two. Was I just hurt by between the two. Was I just hurt by between the two. Was I just hurt by that? But they're not act they weren't that? But they're not act they weren't that? But they're not act they weren't actually being sinful. You you know like actually being sinful. You you know like actually being sinful. You you know like there's a big difference when someone's there's a big difference when someone's there's a big difference when someone's like, "Yeah, I don't really love your like, "Yeah, I don't really love your like, "Yeah, I don't really love your pillows." They're not sinful to tell you pillows." They're not sinful to tell you pillows." They're not sinful to tell you that. [laughter] that. [laughter] that. [laughter] Like I know I had someone take me to Like I know I had someone take me to Like I know I had someone take me to lunch one time and the whole purpose of lunch one time and the whole purpose of lunch one time and the whole purpose of the lunch was to tell me that basically the lunch was to tell me that basically the lunch was to tell me that basically they just did not like my personality.

they just did not like my personality. they just did not like my personality. And I was like, "Oh." And she was And I was like, "Oh." And she was And I was like, "Oh." And she was confessing to me bitterness in her heart confessing to me bitterness in her heart confessing to me bitterness in her heart and I was like, man, girl, you could and I was like, man, girl, you could and I was like, man, girl, you could have you could have kept that to have you could have kept that to have you could have kept that to yourself. Like I that's actually between yourself. Like I that's actually between yourself. Like I that's actually between you and the Lord. Like I'm so sorry. But you and the Lord. Like I'm so sorry. But you and the Lord. Like I'm so sorry. But even this idea of like quick to confront even this idea of like quick to confront even this idea of like quick to confront sin. Oh my word. I want to be quick to sin. Oh my word. I want to be quick to sin. Oh my word. I want to be quick to confront my own sin in myself. Like confront my own sin in myself. Like confront my own sin in myself. Like that's where that's where focus on self that's where that's where focus on self that's where that's where focus on self is good. You know, Psalm 139 says, "See is good. You know, Psalm 139 says, "See is good. You know, Psalm 139 says, "See if there is any offensive way in me and if there is any offensive way in me and if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." Like lead me in the way everlasting." Like lead me in the way everlasting." Like that is the prayer we should be praying. that is the prayer we should be praying. that is the prayer we should be praying. Like Lord, see if there is any offensive Like Lord, see if there is any offensive Like Lord, see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way way in me and lead me in the way way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Like I want him to refine everlasting. Like I want him to refine everlasting. Like I want him to refine those offensive ways out of me. But those offensive ways out of me. But those offensive ways out of me. But you're right, there's such a big you're right, there's such a big you're right, there's such a big difference between like difference between like difference between like if if somebody is caught in sin, that's if if somebody is caught in sin, that's if if somebody is caught in sin, that's a totally different issue. But I was a totally different issue. But I was a totally different issue. But I was thinking Proverbs 18:19 says a brother thinking Proverbs 18:19 says a brother thinking Proverbs 18:19 says a brother or sister offended is more unyielding or sister offended is more unyielding or sister offended is more unyielding than a strong city. than a strong city. than a strong city. >> And I just was like, is that not true?

>> And I just was like, is that not true? >> And I just was like, is that not true? And that's kind of what we do. We like And that's kind of what we do. We like And that's kind of what we do. We like build these walls. Like a strong city build these walls. Like a strong city build these walls. Like a strong city has a lot of walls around it. And when has a lot of walls around it. And when has a lot of walls around it. And when we're offended, so when we're the we're offended, so when we're the we're offended, so when we're the offended one, you know, we build these offended one, you know, we build these offended one, you know, we build these walls and we usually punish them with walls and we usually punish them with walls and we usually punish them with the silent treatment or distance or like the silent treatment or distance or like the silent treatment or distance or like you no longer I mean that's that strong you no longer I mean that's that strong you no longer I mean that's that strong city of like you're not getting in city of like you're not getting in city of like you're not getting in again. Like you are dead to me. It's again. Like you are dead to me. It's again. Like you are dead to me. It's just like because we were offended. You just like because we were offended. You just like because we were offended. You know what's ironic about that? You keep know what's ironic about that? You keep know what's ironic about that? You keep building those walls, you're suddenly building those walls, you're suddenly building those walls, you're suddenly alone. Yeah. It's kind of a warning, alone. Yeah. It's kind of a warning, alone. Yeah. It's kind of a warning, right? like you might become a city of right? like you might become a city of right? like you might become a city of one if you're offended by everyone one if you're offended by everyone one if you're offended by everyone like and I and I think we see this in like and I and I think we see this in like and I and I think we see this in the church. Okay, we both worked in the church. Okay, we both worked in the church. Okay, we both worked in women's ministry. How do we see this on women's ministry. How do we see this on women's ministry. How do we see this on the ground and like and we can we can the ground and like and we can we can the ground and like and we can we can talk in generalities but we've also felt talk in generalities but we've also felt talk in generalities but we've also felt it you know um where do you where do you it you know um where do you where do you it you know um where do you where do you see see see you know when we're together as women you know when we're together as women you know when we're together as women like we're hearing the quick to take like we're hearing the quick to take like we're hearing the quick to take offense because sometimes it's happening offense because sometimes it's happening offense because sometimes it's happening when the other person's not there. We're when the other person's not there. We're when the other person's not there. We're just hearing the chitter chatter. Um, I just hearing the chitter chatter. Um, I just hearing the chitter chatter. Um, I can't believe she said that to me. Or, can't believe she said that to me. Or, can't believe she said that to me. Or, yeah, well, they went to lunch together yeah, well, they went to lunch together yeah, well, they went to lunch together and didn't invite me. You what? What are and didn't invite me. You what? What are and didn't invite me. You what? What are some of those areas that we can get some of those areas that we can get some of those areas that we can get offended by as women that maybe we offended by as women that maybe we offended by as women that maybe we should choose to overlook? So, I loved should choose to overlook? So, I loved should choose to overlook? So, I loved how you were you started off by talking how you were you started off by talking how you were you started off by talking about we can be offended by what people about we can be offended by what people about we can be offended by what people say and by what they don't say, which is say and by what they don't say, which is say and by what they don't say, which is astounding to me. Like like the social

astounding to me. Like like the social astounding to me. Like like the social media thing where people are paying media thing where people are paying media thing where people are paying attention to what you don't say. I'm attention to what you don't say. I'm attention to what you don't say. I'm like, "Oh my word." Like that is we have like, "Oh my word." Like that is we have like, "Oh my word." Like that is we have got to have more to do with our time got to have more to do with our time got to have more to do with our time than pay attention to what people are than pay attention to what people are than pay attention to what people are not saying, you know? But um but I think not saying, you know? But um but I think not saying, you know? But um but I think in the church and just in real life in the church and just in real life in the church and just in real life relationships so often um this idea of relationships so often um this idea of relationships so often um this idea of maybe not being appreciated like like maybe not being appreciated like like maybe not being appreciated like like she did not um really notice all I was she did not um really notice all I was she did not um really notice all I was doing or um I think it can happen in doing or um I think it can happen in doing or um I think it can happen in families. You know, there have been families. You know, there have been families. You know, there have been times that I've been like at the kitchen times that I've been like at the kitchen times that I've been like at the kitchen sink doing dishes and in my mind I'm sink doing dishes and in my mind I'm sink doing dishes and in my mind I'm just so offended that I'm the one doing just so offended that I'm the one doing just so offended that I'm the one doing the dishes. like I can't believe I am the dishes. like I can't believe I am the dishes. like I can't believe I am the one standing here doing the dishes the one standing here doing the dishes the one standing here doing the dishes again. And then, you know, the Lord is again. And then, you know, the Lord is again. And then, you know, the Lord is usually very kind to bring to mind, you usually very kind to bring to mind, you usually very kind to bring to mind, you know, oh well, did you mow the yard? Did know, oh well, did you mow the yard? Did know, oh well, did you mow the yard? Did you, you know, change the laundry? Did you, you know, change the laundry? Did you, you know, change the laundry? Did you I don't whatever it is. Like, um, you I don't whatever it is. Like, um, you I don't whatever it is. Like, um, and you right now in my life, we've got and you right now in my life, we've got and you right now in my life, we've got this multif family, multigenerational this multif family, multigenerational this multif family, multigenerational living situation going on in my house living situation going on in my house living situation going on in my house cuz we've had two adult children and cuz we've had two adult children and cuz we've had two adult children and their families move back in. And you their families move back in. And you their families move back in. And you know, it's easy. I'm sure every one of know, it's easy. I'm sure every one of know, it's easy. I'm sure every one of us could silently be thinking about how us could silently be thinking about how us could silently be thinking about how underappreciated we are instead of so I underappreciated we are instead of so I underappreciated we are instead of so I just I think that those are the way like just I think that those are the way like just I think that those are the way like we didn't get invited to something. Um we didn't get invited to something. Um we didn't get invited to something. Um so sometimes it's the it's the thing so sometimes it's the it's the thing so sometimes it's the it's the thing that is said like I can't believe she that is said like I can't believe she that is said like I can't believe she said that to me.

said that to me. said that to me. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And sometimes it's just like what people >> And sometimes it's just like what people >> And sometimes it's just like what people don't say like they didn't say thank you don't say like they didn't say thank you don't say like they didn't say thank you or they didn't say I did a good job or or they didn't say I did a good job or or they didn't say I did a good job or they didn't they weren't appreciative. they didn't they weren't appreciative. they didn't they weren't appreciative. Um, and sometimes I think you've said Um, and sometimes I think you've said Um, and sometimes I think you've said this before, it's just that they say this before, it's just that they say this before, it's just that they say things wrong, you know, and so like talk things wrong, you know, and so like talk things wrong, you know, and so like talk about that like how do you how does love about that like how do you how does love about that like how do you how does love cover a multitude of offenses? Um, by cover a multitude of offenses? Um, by cover a multitude of offenses? Um, by assuming motive. assuming motive. assuming motive. >> Yeah. I think I'll be honest. I think in >> Yeah. I think I'll be honest. I think in >> Yeah. I think I'll be honest. I think in the church I have watched this happen. the church I have watched this happen. the church I have watched this happen. I'm sure you've watched this happening I'm sure you've watched this happening I'm sure you've watched this happening too. Um, we do like a one upper on too. Um, we do like a one upper on too. Um, we do like a one upper on suffering or something. So, like suffering or something. So, like suffering or something. So, like someone's pouring out their heart, you someone's pouring out their heart, you someone's pouring out their heart, you know, they're sharing about a really know, they're sharing about a really know, they're sharing about a really hard thing that happened. Um, I I just hard thing that happened. Um, I I just hard thing that happened. Um, I I just remember this through the years watching remember this through the years watching remember this through the years watching this happened in ministry. So, I'm not this happened in ministry. So, I'm not this happened in ministry. So, I'm not even going to say it happened to me, but even going to say it happened to me, but even going to say it happened to me, but I can remember watching like someone I can remember watching like someone I can remember watching like someone share about like the loss of a parent or share about like the loss of a parent or share about like the loss of a parent or the you miscarriage or something like the you miscarriage or something like the you miscarriage or something like that and then another another person that and then another another person that and then another another person come in and they're talking about like come in and they're talking about like come in and they're talking about like the loss of their pet. Now, you know, the loss of their pet. Now, you know, the loss of their pet. Now, you know, like we love our pets and things, but like we love our pets and things, but like we love our pets and things, but like sometimes it's this uh they just like sometimes it's this uh they just like sometimes it's this uh they just missed the mark and I'm sitting there missed the mark and I'm sitting there missed the mark and I'm sitting there watch it happen and I'm thinking, you watch it happen and I'm thinking, you watch it happen and I'm thinking, you know, if I was that woman who just lost know, if I was that woman who just lost know, if I was that woman who just lost her parent and this person's talking her parent and this person's talking her parent and this person's talking about losing their dog, I'd feel kind of about losing their dog, I'd feel kind of about losing their dog, I'd feel kind of offended. Like I'm wa I I haven't offended. Like I'm wa I I haven't offended. Like I'm wa I I haven't actually experienced that myself. I've actually experienced that myself. I've actually experienced that myself. I've watched it happen and I'm like And it is watched it happen and I'm like And it is watched it happen and I'm like And it is just a time to absorb because the person just a time to absorb because the person just a time to absorb because the person who meant well Yeah. I mean, who was who meant well Yeah. I mean, who was who meant well Yeah. I mean, who was sharing their loss? They were trying to

sharing their loss? They were trying to sharing their loss? They were trying to enter in, but we often just really do a enter in, but we often just really do a enter in, but we often just really do a clumsy job of it. And I know I do a clumsy job of it. And I know I do a clumsy job of it. And I know I do a clumsy job of it. So, it's helped. You clumsy job of it. So, it's helped. You clumsy job of it. So, it's helped. You know, I think I think part of it is know, I think I think part of it is know, I think I think part of it is self-reflecting on, oh, I didn't say self-reflecting on, oh, I didn't say self-reflecting on, oh, I didn't say that very well to that person who was that very well to that person who was that very well to that person who was dealing with grief. You know, we try to dealing with grief. You know, we try to dealing with grief. You know, we try to fix things or we try to skirt past it fix things or we try to skirt past it fix things or we try to skirt past it and be like, it'll be fine. It'll be and be like, it'll be fine. It'll be and be like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. And that can be really offensive fine. And that can be really offensive fine. And that can be really offensive to to people. And and so I think it's to to people. And and so I think it's to to people. And and so I think it's learning that learning that learning that I think one of the most helpful things I think one of the most helpful things I think one of the most helpful things we can do when offend offended is pause we can do when offend offended is pause we can do when offend offended is pause and ask ourselves when do I do this to and ask ourselves when do I do this to and ask ourselves when do I do this to other people. Maybe it's actually a time other people. Maybe it's actually a time other people. Maybe it's actually a time for us to learn. for us to learn. for us to learn. >> Oh, huh. That wasn't very helpful when I >> Oh, huh. That wasn't very helpful when I >> Oh, huh. That wasn't very helpful when I said that to someone like that. I'm said that to someone like that. I'm said that to someone like that. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to try going to I'm going to I'm going to try going to I'm going to I'm going to try to do this differently. So it actually to do this differently. So it actually to do this differently. So it actually can be a real learning experience for us can be a real learning experience for us can be a real learning experience for us when we feel the barb or we feel the when we feel the barb or we feel the when we feel the barb or we feel the that was just unthoughtful and try to be that was just unthoughtful and try to be that was just unthoughtful and try to be more thoughtful with other people. So it more thoughtful with other people. So it more thoughtful with other people. So it can be a good a good way to think can be a good a good way to think can be a good a good way to think through it. But I think one thing you through it. But I think one thing you through it. But I think one thing you really hit on, I think one of the places really hit on, I think one of the places really hit on, I think one of the places we're most offended is in our in our we're most offended is in our in our we're most offended is in our in our whoever we're living with, [laughter] whoever we're living with, [laughter] whoever we're living with, [laughter] whether it's a spouse, a roommate, whether it's a spouse, a roommate, whether it's a spouse, a roommate, children, parents, you know, it it just children, parents, you know, it it just children, parents, you know, it it just is interesting how easy it is to get is interesting how easy it is to get is interesting how easy it is to get offended because it's like your sin rubs offended because it's like your sin rubs offended because it's like your sin rubs up against my sin and your bad habits up against my sin and your bad habits up against my sin and your bad habits actually now really impact me. And so

actually now really impact me. And so actually now really impact me. And so it's like I'm offended because you left it's like I'm offended because you left it's like I'm offended because you left your underwear on the floor. [laughter] your underwear on the floor. [laughter] your underwear on the floor. [laughter] I'm deeply offended I'm deeply offended I'm deeply offended cuz that means you weren't thinking cuz that means you weren't thinking cuz that means you weren't thinking about me, about me, about me, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> You know, I mean, like it's like and it >> You know, I mean, like it's like and it >> You know, I mean, like it's like and it just rubs and and you're exactly right. just rubs and and you're exactly right. just rubs and and you're exactly right. We we just get it's it's when I'm We we just get it's it's when I'm We we just get it's it's when I'm normally the more tired I am, I get more normally the more tired I am, I get more normally the more tired I am, I get more self-absorbed. self-absorbed. self-absorbed. And especially when it comes to chores And especially when it comes to chores And especially when it comes to chores and things around the house that need and things around the house that need and things around the house that need doing, I think that's when we're most doing, I think that's when we're most doing, I think that's when we're most likely to be like, you clearly don't likely to be like, you clearly don't likely to be like, you clearly don't care about me. care about me. care about me. Like it becomes this, if you cared about Like it becomes this, if you cared about Like it becomes this, if you cared about me, you would put your shoes in the me, you would put your shoes in the me, you would put your shoes in the place I asked you to put your shoes. And place I asked you to put your shoes. And place I asked you to put your shoes. And so we build those strong walls and we're so we build those strong walls and we're so we build those strong walls and we're like, you're getting the silent like, you're getting the silent like, you're getting the silent treatment over that. treatment over that. treatment over that. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. Yes. And it isolates us from one Yes. And it isolates us from one Yes. And it isolates us from one another. So So rather than maturely another. So So rather than maturely another. So So rather than maturely saying, "Hey, I'm really tired today." saying, "Hey, I'm really tired today." saying, "Hey, I'm really tired today." And I just um could you help me clean up And I just um could you help me clean up And I just um could you help me clean up and say it again? And we don't want to and say it again? And we don't want to and say it again? And we don't want to ask or whatever, but just being part of ask or whatever, but just being part of ask or whatever, but just being part of this is like learning how to maturely this is like learning how to maturely this is like learning how to maturely even deal with our needs and our wants.

even deal with our needs and our wants. even deal with our needs and our wants. Um so rather than like offense isolates, Um so rather than like offense isolates, Um so rather than like offense isolates, um communication leans in and that's um communication leans in and that's um communication leans in and that's what we need to do. So sometimes we do what we need to do. So sometimes we do what we need to do. So sometimes we do need to share the things that are need to share the things that are need to share the things that are bothering us, you know, especially in bothering us, you know, especially in bothering us, you know, especially in with whomever you're living with. Like I with whomever you're living with. Like I with whomever you're living with. Like I know my kids, you know, they're all know my kids, you know, they're all know my kids, you know, they're all living with roommates right now. living with roommates right now. living with roommates right now. One of my children told me they just put One of my children told me they just put One of my children told me they just put up a video camera to see who's not up a video camera to see who's not up a video camera to see who's not cleaning up the dishes. cleaning up the dishes. cleaning up the dishes. >> No. [laughter] >> No. [laughter] >> No. [laughter] No. No. No. >> Okay. I Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. I Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. I Yeah. Yeah. >> It's a new world. It's a new world. I'm >> It's a new world. It's a new world. I'm >> It's a new world. It's a new world. I'm like, that's a way to find out like, that's a way to find out like, that's a way to find out >> world. But it, you know, it's like, >> world. But it, you know, it's like, >> world. But it, you know, it's like, >> well, take the video camera down. >> well, take the video camera down. >> well, take the video camera down. [laughter] Take the video camera down. [laughter] Take the video camera down. [laughter] Take the video camera down. Oh my word. [laughter] Oh my word. [laughter] Oh my word. [laughter] >> Crazy town. >> Crazy town. >> Crazy town. >> But then, but then because everybody's >> But then, but then because everybody's >> But then, but then because everybody's always like, "Oh, it wasn't me. It always like, "Oh, it wasn't me. It always like, "Oh, it wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me." Or whatever. wasn't me. It wasn't me." Or whatever. wasn't me. It wasn't me." Or whatever. So now they're like, "We're going to So now they're like, "We're going to So now they're like, "We're going to find out who it was." Um, but I do think find out who it was." Um, but I do think find out who it was." Um, but I do think there's there's this sense where there's there's this sense where there's there's this sense where sometimes though what you do like and I sometimes though what you do like and I sometimes though what you do like and I can remember this even with my kids and can remember this even with my kids and can remember this even with my kids and you know when they don't do the dishes you know when they don't do the dishes you know when they don't do the dishes right or they don't do it sometimes you right or they don't do it sometimes you right or they don't do it sometimes you just absorb it. You just take on the just absorb it. You just take on the just absorb it. You just take on the extra work at work. Maybe it's in your extra work at work. Maybe it's in your extra work at work. Maybe it's in your workplace. Sometimes you just take on workplace. Sometimes you just take on workplace. Sometimes you just take on the extra work and you say the Lord sees the extra work and you say the Lord sees the extra work and you say the Lord sees I'm not going to be offended by this.

I'm not going to be offended by this. I'm not going to be offended by this. I'm just going to give here and I'm I'm just going to give here and I'm I'm just going to give here and I'm going to give to the Lord. And I and I going to give to the Lord. And I and I going to give to the Lord. And I and I think what you were saying even earlier think what you were saying even earlier think what you were saying even earlier is well I'm okay with cleaning the is well I'm okay with cleaning the is well I'm okay with cleaning the dishes as long as everyone's calling me dishes as long as everyone's calling me dishes as long as everyone's calling me Staint Melissa and like thank you mom or Staint Melissa and like thank you mom or Staint Melissa and like thank you mom or thank you wife. Yeah, like whatever. And thank you wife. Yeah, like whatever. And thank you wife. Yeah, like whatever. And so it is we can be offended by so many so it is we can be offended by so many so it is we can be offended by so many different things um in our world today. different things um in our world today. different things um in our world today. And so Okay, go ahead. No, I just wanted And so Okay, go ahead. No, I just wanted And so Okay, go ahead. No, I just wanted to ask you as we were thinking about to ask you as we were thinking about to ask you as we were thinking about that. So there are things that are that. So there are things that are that. So there are things that are offensive, right? And so so we're not offensive, right? And so so we're not offensive, right? And so so we're not talking about situations where you know talking about situations where you know talking about situations where you know there is there is obvious abuse or even there is there is obvious abuse or even there is there is obvious abuse or even I was thinking about it um you know I was thinking about it um you know I was thinking about it um you know there are like sometimes we might be in there are like sometimes we might be in there are like sometimes we might be in a situation where somebody tells a joke a situation where somebody tells a joke a situation where somebody tells a joke that sorry a joke you know and it is that sorry a joke you know and it is that sorry a joke you know and it is offensive and I want to act offended I offensive and I want to act offended I offensive and I want to act offended I want to say something in that moment want to say something in that moment want to say something in that moment like that is not an okay thing to say. like that is not an okay thing to say. like that is not an okay thing to say. So there are there are actually So there are there are actually So there are there are actually offensive situations, right? And there offensive situations, right? And there offensive situations, right? And there are just even like you're talking about are just even like you're talking about are just even like you're talking about this lack of self-awareness, there are this lack of self-awareness, there are this lack of self-awareness, there are times that whether it's people in our times that whether it's people in our times that whether it's people in our families, our church, our communities families, our church, our communities families, our church, our communities where people are insensitive and where people are insensitive and where people are insensitive and offensive and they're they're kind of offensive and they're they're kind of offensive and they're they're kind of just either they're either blind to just either they're either blind to just either they're either blind to their own offensiveness their own offensiveness their own offensiveness um or um or um or they just kind of for whatever reason they just kind of for whatever reason they just kind of for whatever reason and their own story has caused, you

and their own story has caused, you and their own story has caused, you know, them to be broken in this that know, them to be broken in this that know, them to be broken in this that they like to be offensive. I know a they like to be offensive. I know a they like to be offensive. I know a couple people like that that there's couple people like that that there's couple people like that that there's just like there's joy in being offensive just like there's joy in being offensive just like there's joy in being offensive and it's like so what do you do like and it's like so what do you do like and it's like so what do you do like when somebody is say it's just when somebody is say it's just when somebody is say it's just insensitive? Say you experience insensitive? Say you experience insensitive? Say you experience somebody's lack of self-awareness and it somebody's lack of self-awareness and it somebody's lack of self-awareness and it really is insensitive to your own story really is insensitive to your own story really is insensitive to your own story or to your own hurt or to your own um or to your own hurt or to your own um or to your own hurt or to your own um just soul like what what are our just soul like what what are our just soul like what what are our options? So when we are truly offended options? So when we are truly offended options? So when we are truly offended about something we're we are hurt by about something we're we are hurt by about something we're we are hurt by something um what are our options and something um what are our options and something um what are our options and and what is the better one? and what is the better one? and what is the better one? >> Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Well, I think >> Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Well, I think >> Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Well, I think it depends on a few things. um you know it depends on a few things. um you know it depends on a few things. um you know there is answer full according to his there is answer full according to his there is answer full according to his folly and you'll be like him yourself. I folly and you'll be like him yourself. I folly and you'll be like him yourself. I mean, so so there are some people who mean, so so there are some people who mean, so so there are some people who just love offending and and they're they just love offending and and they're they just love offending and and they're they might not be work like it might the might not be work like it might the might not be work like it might the conversation might not be helpful. You conversation might not be helpful. You conversation might not be helpful. You know, some people just are like they're know, some people just are like they're know, some people just are like they're going to be like, "No, that's just me.

going to be like, "No, that's just me. going to be like, "No, that's just me. You just deal with me, you know, this You just deal with me, you know, this You just deal with me, you know, this I'm going to I'm a trutht teller is what I'm going to I'm a trutht teller is what I'm going to I'm a trutht teller is what they're going to say, you know, or they're going to say, you know, or they're going to say, you know, or whatever." And so and and even the depth whatever." And so and and even the depth whatever." And so and and even the depth of your relationship with someone who, of your relationship with someone who, of your relationship with someone who, you know, I I think that's really you know, I I think that's really you know, I I think that's really dependent upon it. So, like look, if dependent upon it. So, like look, if dependent upon it. So, like look, if it's you and me and like we're real it's you and me and like we're real it's you and me and like we're real friends and if I'm like, "Hey, Courtney, friends and if I'm like, "Hey, Courtney, friends and if I'm like, "Hey, Courtney, you know, when you make fun of I don't you know, when you make fun of I don't you know, when you make fun of I don't know what [laughter] know what [laughter] know what [laughter] what it actually hurts my feelings." You what it actually hurts my feelings." You what it actually hurts my feelings." You would I Here's what I know about you. would I Here's what I know about you. would I Here's what I know about you. You'd be like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so You'd be like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so You'd be like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry." You know, and it would it it sorry." You know, and it would it it sorry." You know, and it would it it would be worth it to to enter in and would be worth it to to enter in and would be worth it to to enter in and say, "Hey, just so you know, that's say, "Hey, just so you know, that's say, "Hey, just so you know, that's actually a sensitive place for me. I actually a sensitive place for me. I actually a sensitive place for me. I know you don't mean harm by it, like know you don't mean harm by it, like know you don't mean harm by it, like because I'm seeing the good in you. Um, because I'm seeing the good in you. Um, because I'm seeing the good in you. Um, but I just want you to know it hurts. It but I just want you to know it hurts. It but I just want you to know it hurts. It hurts me. I'm really sensitive about, hurts me. I'm really sensitive about, hurts me. I'm really sensitive about, you know, the fact that my hair's frizzy you know, the fact that my hair's frizzy you know, the fact that my hair's frizzy and you make jokes about it or whatever. and you make jokes about it or whatever. and you make jokes about it or whatever. Like [laughter] whatever silly thing. Like [laughter] whatever silly thing. Like [laughter] whatever silly thing. >> For the record. For the record, I don't. >> For the record. For the record, I don't. >> For the record. For the record, I don't. >> Yeah, [laughter] she does it. And I >> Yeah, [laughter] she does it. And I >> Yeah, [laughter] she does it. And I can't think of a good example because can't think of a good example because can't think of a good example because you actually don't do this because my you actually don't do this because my you actually don't do this because my hair is frizzy hair is frizzy hair is frizzy >> and you're not an you're not a person >> and you're not an you're not a person >> and you're not an you're not a person out to offend. So I think I think this out to offend. So I think I think this out to offend. So I think I think this does you know there there is a question does you know there there is a question does you know there there is a question of am am I the person to talk to them of am am I the person to talk to them of am am I the person to talk to them about this issue and and sometimes we about this issue and and sometimes we about this issue and and sometimes we are the person to talk to him about an are the person to talk to him about an are the person to talk to him about an issue like hey you seem to love issue like hey you seem to love issue like hey you seem to love controversy in a way and you may not controversy in a way and you may not controversy in a way and you may not know what your words are are doing to know what your words are are doing to know what your words are are doing to affect people. I think there are certain

affect people. I think there are certain affect people. I think there are certain issues. Um, like sometimes if people are issues. Um, like sometimes if people are issues. Um, like sometimes if people are saying like if a bunch of women are saying like if a bunch of women are saying like if a bunch of women are together and they're saying how bad together and they're saying how bad together and they're saying how bad their husbands are or if a bunch of men their husbands are or if a bunch of men their husbands are or if a bunch of men are saying how women are always this are saying how women are always this are saying how women are always this way, I think there's a right place to go way, I think there's a right place to go way, I think there's a right place to go and say, "Hey, um, I think I think you and say, "Hey, um, I think I think you and say, "Hey, um, I think I think you may not know it's really offensive when may not know it's really offensive when may not know it's really offensive when you say that, you know, but I I like to you say that, you know, but I I like to you say that, you know, but I I like to do it one-on-one. I like to do it when do it one-on-one. I like to do it when do it one-on-one. I like to do it when the situation's calmed. um try to really the situation's calmed. um try to really the situation's calmed. um try to really remember, hey, when you said it this remember, hey, when you said it this remember, hey, when you said it this way, here's why it offended. Um and and way, here's why it offended. Um and and way, here's why it offended. Um and and so I think there really is a place for so I think there really is a place for so I think there really is a place for that. So often the places that we're that. So often the places that we're that. So often the places that we're truly offended, truly hurt, um are truly offended, truly hurt, um are truly offended, truly hurt, um are places that are born out of our story. places that are born out of our story. places that are born out of our story. So I even remember after my So I even remember after my So I even remember after my father-in-law died very suddenly of a father-in-law died very suddenly of a father-in-law died very suddenly of a heart attack, I was so I was really heart attack, I was so I was really heart attack, I was so I was really offended when people would use the offended when people would use the offended when people would use the phrase serious as a heart attack. Um it phrase serious as a heart attack. Um it phrase serious as a heart attack. Um it was you know but I I've seen other areas was you know but I I've seen other areas was you know but I I've seen other areas in my life like that where it's like oh in my life like that where it's like oh in my life like that where it's like oh all of a sudden I have an experience all of a sudden I have an experience all of a sudden I have an experience with something and then that makes me with something and then that makes me with something and then that makes me very sensitive to so you know I think very sensitive to so you know I think very sensitive to so you know I think for you know anybody who has experienced for you know anybody who has experienced for you know anybody who has experienced infertility or or infant loss of any infertility or or infant loss of any infertility or or infant loss of any kind you know then when when there's a kind you know then when when there's a kind you know then when when there's a group of women sitting around talking group of women sitting around talking group of women sitting around talking about how hard their babies are you know about how hard their babies are you know about how hard their babies are you know they're they can be hurt by that or they're they can be hurt by that or they're they can be hurt by that or offended if somebody um you know like offended if somebody um you know like offended if somebody um you know like you said a group of women are sitting you said a group of women are sitting you said a group of women are sitting around talking about how horrible their around talking about how horrible their around talking about how horrible their husbands are and then our single friends husbands are and then our single friends husbands are and then our single friends are sitting there and thinking well

are sitting there and thinking well are sitting there and thinking well they're like these things that are in they're like these things that are in they're like these things that are in our lives that that whatever it is um our lives that that whatever it is um our lives that that whatever it is um you know children with special needs all you know children with special needs all you know children with special needs all of a sudden you become very um attuned of a sudden you become very um attuned of a sudden you become very um attuned to that particular to that particular to that particular special need and people's ignorance on special need and people's ignorance on special need and people's ignorance on that can be very offensive and so I that can be very offensive and so I that can be very offensive and so I think even being kind of self-aware and think even being kind of self-aware and think even being kind of self-aware and humble enough to realize, okay, my story humble enough to realize, okay, my story humble enough to realize, okay, my story is actually playing a big part in what is actually playing a big part in what is actually playing a big part in what I'm feeling right now. And and growing I'm feeling right now. And and growing I'm feeling right now. And and growing in the ability to say like my kind of in the ability to say like my kind of in the ability to say like my kind of back to what I said in the beginning, back to what I said in the beginning, back to what I said in the beginning, like my healing, my hope, my joy, my like my healing, my hope, my joy, my like my healing, my hope, my joy, my peace is not going to come through peace is not going to come through peace is not going to come through getting the rest of the world to stop getting the rest of the world to stop getting the rest of the world to stop talking about this issue in that way. talking about this issue in that way. talking about this issue in that way. That's actually not where I think so That's actually not where I think so That's actually not where I think so often we want we want it to be where often we want we want it to be where often we want we want it to be where we're just pointing fingers at everybody we're just pointing fingers at everybody we're just pointing fingers at everybody like you don't understand and you don't like you don't understand and you don't like you don't understand and you don't know my hurt and you don't know my story know my hurt and you don't know my story know my hurt and you don't know my story instead of just saying okay wait a instead of just saying okay wait a instead of just saying okay wait a minute I'm actually not going to be able minute I'm actually not going to be able minute I'm actually not going to be able to change everybody else about this and to change everybody else about this and to change everybody else about this and going back to like their motive isn't going back to like their motive isn't going back to like their motive isn't even wrong in this like they're just even wrong in this like they're just even wrong in this like they're just either ignorant or unaware whatever it either ignorant or unaware whatever it either ignorant or unaware whatever it is but but that I actually compress into is but but that I actually compress into is but but that I actually compress into like the gospel in Christ for my healing like the gospel in Christ for my healing like the gospel in Christ for my healing in that that that he's the one that in that that that he's the one that in that that that he's the one that understands. He's the one that sees.

understands. He's the one that sees. understands. He's the one that sees. He's the one that knows and and he's the He's the one that knows and and he's the He's the one that knows and and he's the one that suffers. Like he enters into one that suffers. Like he enters into one that suffers. Like he enters into our suffering. And so I don't know. our suffering. And so I don't know. our suffering. And so I don't know. There's that's kind of a half-baked There's that's kind of a half-baked There's that's kind of a half-baked idea, but um but ideally idea, but um but ideally idea, but um but ideally >> I think it's a really good one. But like >> I think it's a really good one. But like >> I think it's a really good one. But like I I actually think what you just said is I I actually think what you just said is I I actually think what you just said is really like one of those we need to really like one of those we need to really like one of those we need to press pause on because in some ways what press pause on because in some ways what press pause on because in some ways what I realize we're expecting other people I realize we're expecting other people I realize we're expecting other people to be is to be all knowing. to be is to be all knowing. to be is to be all knowing. >> We're expecting them to be God. do not >> We're expecting them to be God. do not >> We're expecting them to be God. do not like we're expecting them to be so aware like we're expecting them to be so aware like we're expecting them to be so aware of our needs and so aware of what we're of our needs and so aware of what we're of our needs and so aware of what we're going through and you know they're just going through and you know they're just going through and you know they're just another little finite being running another little finite being running another little finite being running around and and and they often don't around and and and they often don't around and and and they often don't remember like you know we don't remember remember like you know we don't remember remember like you know we don't remember like and so you you know you get in like and so you you know you get in like and so you you know you get in conversations I leave a conversation conversations I leave a conversation conversations I leave a conversation sometimes I'm like I totally forgot to sometimes I'm like I totally forgot to sometimes I'm like I totally forgot to ask about that huge thing going on in ask about that huge thing going on in ask about that huge thing going on in her life and she doesn't think I care her life and she doesn't think I care her life and she doesn't think I care and I really care. I just forgot in that and I really care. I just forgot in that and I really care. I just forgot in that moment when we were in that moment when we were in that moment when we were in that conversation. And so I think what you're conversation. And so I think what you're conversation. And so I think what you're saying and reminding us is of is there saying and reminding us is of is there saying and reminding us is of is there is one who always knows, who always is one who always knows, who always is one who always knows, who always sees, who always remembers, and he is sees, who always remembers, and he is sees, who always remembers, and he is always there and always caring. And he's always there and always caring. And he's always there and always caring. And he's that one person that we can go to and that one person that we can go to and that one person that we can go to and know he will know every detail of our know he will know every detail of our know he will know every detail of our situation and always be there with situation and always be there with situation and always be there with comfort and love and care and and we're comfort and love and care and and we're comfort and love and care and and we're maybe wanting from others what only God

maybe wanting from others what only God maybe wanting from others what only God can give can give can give in some sense. So I think that's just a in some sense. So I think that's just a in some sense. So I think that's just a really pro profound point that you kind really pro profound point that you kind really pro profound point that you kind of brought us to in this that it's good of brought us to in this that it's good of brought us to in this that it's good to it's good to park on. And so [snorts] to it's good to park on. And so [snorts] to it's good to park on. And so [snorts] we're going to go to a break from our we're going to go to a break from our we're going to go to a break from our sponsors really quickly so we can keep sponsors really quickly so we can keep sponsors really quickly so we can keep thinking about that as you listen to to thinking about that as you listen to to thinking about that as you listen to to what our sponsors have to tell us. what our sponsors have to tell us. what our sponsors have to tell us. Thanks friends. Hey friends, welcome Thanks friends. Hey friends, welcome Thanks friends. Hey friends, welcome back. Um we've been talking about back. Um we've been talking about back. Um we've been talking about being offended, offending others. Um and being offended, offending others. Um and being offended, offending others. Um and and I think all of us want to be women and I think all of us want to be women and I think all of us want to be women hopefully who don't offend others, but hopefully who don't offend others, but hopefully who don't offend others, but sometimes just because we are Christians sometimes just because we are Christians sometimes just because we are Christians um people are offended by us. Um, um people are offended by us. Um, um people are offended by us. Um, Courtney, what do you how have you seen Courtney, what do you how have you seen Courtney, what do you how have you seen that? Um, what's the reality of that in that? Um, what's the reality of that in that? Um, what's the reality of that in our world? And how do we live that out our world? And how do we live that out our world? And how do we live that out as Christians knowing sometimes I as Christians knowing sometimes I as Christians knowing sometimes I recognize the very things I believe recognize the very things I believe recognize the very things I believe about the Bible are just deeply hurtful about the Bible are just deeply hurtful about the Bible are just deeply hurtful to some people. Like they look at what I to some people. Like they look at what I to some people. Like they look at what I believe. I mean, just the exclusive believe. I mean, just the exclusive believe. I mean, just the exclusive nature of Jesus, the fact I believe nature of Jesus, the fact I believe nature of Jesus, the fact I believe there's one way to heaven and I believe there's one way to heaven and I believe there's one way to heaven and I believe there's a literal hell. That is very there's a literal hell. That is very there's a literal hell. That is very offensive. So, how do we hold these offensive. So, how do we hold these offensive. So, how do we hold these views that some people will think make views that some people will think make views that some people will think make us hateful, spiteful people just for us hateful, spiteful people just for us hateful, spiteful people just for what we we have? How do we how do we sit what we we have? How do we how do we sit what we we have? How do we how do we sit in that that we're going to offend just in that that we're going to offend just in that that we're going to offend just by being Christians? Well, and I think by being Christians? Well, and I think by being Christians? Well, and I think so I don't think we're just going to so I don't think we're just going to so I don't think we're just going to offend by being Christians. I think the offend by being Christians. I think the offend by being Christians. I think the like you said it's the message that can

like you said it's the message that can like you said it's the message that can be offensive and to remember that like be offensive and to remember that like be offensive and to remember that like the person is not I mean Paul goes out the person is not I mean Paul goes out the person is not I mean Paul goes out of his way to be like do not be of his way to be like do not be of his way to be like do not be offensive do not be offensive but then offensive do not be offensive but then offensive do not be offensive but then he's also like the gospel is incredibly he's also like the gospel is incredibly he's also like the gospel is incredibly offensive like he holds it and so even offensive like he holds it and so even offensive like he holds it and so even to know what is being offensive so you to know what is being offensive so you to know what is being offensive so you know Romans 9:3 he's like I am putting know Romans 9:3 he's like I am putting know Romans 9:3 he's like I am putting this stumbling block in front of people this stumbling block in front of people this stumbling block in front of people and it is called the rock of offense in and it is called the rock of offense in and it is called the rock of offense in Romans 933. Romans 933. Romans 933. So it is exactly what you were talking So it is exactly what you were talking So it is exactly what you were talking about. The offensive thing of the gospel about. The offensive thing of the gospel about. The offensive thing of the gospel is it is its exclusivity. is it is its exclusivity. is it is its exclusivity. The fact that we don't say um yeah you The fact that we don't say um yeah you The fact that we don't say um yeah you there's a lot of ways to God. There's a there's a lot of ways to God. There's a there's a lot of ways to God. There's a lot of you know different paths to you lot of you know different paths to you lot of you know different paths to you know Jesus was clear. He is the way the know Jesus was clear. He is the way the know Jesus was clear. He is the way the truth the life and no one comes to the truth the life and no one comes to the truth the life and no one comes to the father except through him. And and we do father except through him. And and we do father except through him. And and we do believe in this. believe in this. believe in this. Yeah. Eternal place of of separation Yeah. Eternal place of of separation Yeah. Eternal place of of separation from God that's called hell. And it's from God that's called hell. And it's from God that's called hell. And it's it's awful, right? And so that offends it's awful, right? And so that offends it's awful, right? And so that offends people, but we are not meant to be people, but we are not meant to be people, but we are not meant to be offensive. I mean, he says, "Give no offensive. I mean, he says, "Give no offensive. I mean, he says, "Give no offense." He became all things to all offense." He became all things to all offense." He became all things to all people so that um you know, he says, "So people so that um you know, he says, "So people so that um you know, he says, "So that I could win some." And so there's that I could win some." And so there's that I could win some." And so there's this difference between being offended this difference between being offended this difference between being offended by the gospel and being offensive in our by the gospel and being offensive in our by the gospel and being offensive in our proclamation of the gospel. And I think proclamation of the gospel. And I think proclamation of the gospel. And I think what we're seeing um and maybe it's

what we're seeing um and maybe it's what we're seeing um and maybe it's always been this way. You know, you and always been this way. You know, you and always been this way. You know, you and I talk all the time that we don't want I talk all the time that we don't want I talk all the time that we don't want to overplay this our current cultural to overplay this our current cultural to overplay this our current cultural moment because nothing is new under the moment because nothing is new under the moment because nothing is new under the sun. But um so maybe it's always been sun. But um so maybe it's always been sun. But um so maybe it's always been this way. But I do think that we, you this way. But I do think that we, you this way. But I do think that we, you know, we've talked before in in previous know, we've talked before in in previous know, we've talked before in in previous episodes about the difference between episodes about the difference between episodes about the difference between primary, secondary, and tertiary issues. primary, secondary, and tertiary issues. primary, secondary, and tertiary issues. First, second, and third place issues. First, second, and third place issues. First, second, and third place issues. And so first place issues are they're And so first place issues are they're And so first place issues are they're gospel. They're central to the gospel. gospel. They're central to the gospel. gospel. They're central to the gospel. They are the idea that Jesus was, you They are the idea that Jesus was, you They are the idea that Jesus was, you know, born of a virgin. He uh lived a know, born of a virgin. He uh lived a know, born of a virgin. He uh lived a sinless life. He died and raised again. sinless life. He died and raised again. sinless life. He died and raised again. He was fully God, fully man, the He was fully God, fully man, the He was fully God, fully man, the trinity. Like these are issues that if trinity. Like these are issues that if trinity. Like these are issues that if that's where the offense is coming, then that's where the offense is coming, then that's where the offense is coming, then that is the offense of the gospel. that is the offense of the gospel. that is the offense of the gospel. But we're not even separating and being But we're not even separating and being But we're not even separating and being offended over secondary issues like, oh, offended over secondary issues like, oh, offended over secondary issues like, oh, you don't believe in infant baptism or you don't believe in infant baptism or you don't believe in infant baptism or you only believe in, you know, whatever you only believe in, you know, whatever you only believe in, you know, whatever it is. like we're we're offended over it is. like we're we're offended over it is. like we're we're offended over these third place tertiary issues like these third place tertiary issues like these third place tertiary issues like how we vote uh how we decide to you know how we vote uh how we decide to you know how we vote uh how we decide to you know breast or bottle feed, how we decide to breast or bottle feed, how we decide to breast or bottle feed, how we decide to um educate our children, you know, uh I um educate our children, you know, uh I um educate our children, you know, uh I mean there are just so many of these mean there are just so many of these mean there are just so many of these issues that have become issues that have become issues that have become incred like place they're the stumbling incred like place they're the stumbling incred like place they're the stumbling blocks of offense [laughter] blocks of offense [laughter] blocks of offense [laughter] and scriptures like that is not meant to and scriptures like that is not meant to and scriptures like that is not meant to be the place that we're offended. Like be the place that we're offended. Like be the place that we're offended. Like you have freedom to educate your

you have freedom to educate your you have freedom to educate your children differently than I did. You children differently than I did. You children differently than I did. You have freedom to um you know to choose have freedom to um you know to choose have freedom to um you know to choose whether you vaccinate or not. Like these whether you vaccinate or not. Like these whether you vaccinate or not. Like these are not the areas that we're meant to be are not the areas that we're meant to be are not the areas that we're meant to be offended over. Um and so so it's just offended over. Um and so so it's just offended over. Um and so so it's just interesting like we have flipped the interesting like we have flipped the interesting like we have flipped the script. um what scripture tells us to script. um what scripture tells us to script. um what scripture tells us to not be at all offended over um we are ex not be at all offended over um we are ex not be at all offended over um we are ex or what we give offense for like what or what we give offense for like what or what we give offense for like what you're almost saying is like what we're you're almost saying is like what we're you're almost saying is like what we're willing to hold so hard that it might willing to hold so hard that it might willing to hold so hard that it might offend someone else. So offend someone else. So offend someone else. So >> like what are you will willing to hold >> like what are you will willing to hold >> like what are you will willing to hold on to and if it's like your schooling on to and if it's like your schooling on to and if it's like your schooling choice is that worth offending others choice is that worth offending others choice is that worth offending others for or you know or whatever it might be. for or you know or whatever it might be. for or you know or whatever it might be. I mean, I can remember years ago in some I mean, I can remember years ago in some I mean, I can remember years ago in some ways, and this gets back to kind of like ways, and this gets back to kind of like ways, and this gets back to kind of like our marks of righteousness episode. So, our marks of righteousness episode. So, our marks of righteousness episode. So, where we kind of feel our pride is where where we kind of feel our pride is where where we kind of feel our pride is where we're willing to offend others in some we're willing to offend others in some we're willing to offend others in some sense. Um, and I can, you know, there sense. Um, and I can, you know, there sense. Um, and I can, you know, there was just a a season where it was almost was just a a season where it was almost was just a a season where it was almost like more godly where you chose to live like more godly where you chose to live like more godly where you chose to live in town, in town, in town, >> you know, like the suburbs were totally >> you know, like the suburbs were totally >> you know, like the suburbs were totally out. you know, if you're living in the out. you know, if you're living in the out. you know, if you're living in the suburbs, you're maybe not a Christian suburbs, you're maybe not a Christian suburbs, you're maybe not a Christian because I mean, where are you sharing because I mean, where are you sharing because I mean, where are you sharing the gospel if you're in the suburbs or the gospel if you're in the suburbs or the gospel if you're in the suburbs or what, you know, I mean, like, and it was what, you know, I mean, like, and it was what, you know, I mean, like, and it was just um and you know, and so one is that just um and you know, and so one is that just um and you know, and so one is that where you want to stake your claim. So, where you want to stake your claim. So, where you want to stake your claim. So, it's also about where we're going to it's also about where we're going to it's also about where we're going to choose to be like my life might be

choose to be like my life might be choose to be like my life might be offensive and so on certain issues, you offensive and so on certain issues, you offensive and so on certain issues, you know, when when my views [clears throat] know, when when my views [clears throat] know, when when my views [clears throat] on sexuality are extremely offensive in on sexuality are extremely offensive in on sexuality are extremely offensive in our world today, right? Like I I believe our world today, right? Like I I believe our world today, right? Like I I believe sex should be between a man and a woman sex should be between a man and a woman sex should be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage. Okay, that's in the context of marriage. Okay, that's in the context of marriage. Okay, that's like everyone's out. Like I mean like like everyone's out. Like I mean like like everyone's out. Like I mean like and so it's an offensive view. Um and so it's an offensive view. Um and so it's an offensive view. Um because you know like people just don't because you know like people just don't because you know like people just don't like it. But I'll take a stand there like it. But I'll take a stand there like it. But I'll take a stand there because it's the biblical view. And so because it's the biblical view. And so because it's the biblical view. And so we've got to say where are we willing to we've got to say where are we willing to we've got to say where are we willing to take the stand on what God says is take the stand on what God says is take the stand on what God says is important and where where you know where important and where where you know where important and where where you know where is it and and on certain issues that is it and and on certain issues that is it and and on certain issues that even though we may think biblically like even though we may think biblically like even though we may think biblically like baptism or something we kind of we kind baptism or something we kind of we kind baptism or something we kind of we kind of choose to live at peace with each of choose to live at peace with each of choose to live at peace with each other and not get completely offended other and not get completely offended other and not get completely offended all the time. But there are some issues all the time. But there are some issues all the time. But there are some issues where we have to realize my view on this where we have to realize my view on this where we have to realize my view on this is going to be offensive to people. And is going to be offensive to people. And is going to be offensive to people. And that's hard. It is. But but here's where that's hard. It is. But but here's where that's hard. It is. But but here's where I think so many Christians um go wrong I think so many Christians um go wrong I think so many Christians um go wrong and that is they say so like amen to and that is they say so like amen to and that is they say so like amen to what you just said. We hold these views what you just said. We hold these views what you just said. We hold these views that are offensive and then therefore that are offensive and then therefore that are offensive and then therefore they become offensive with their views.

they become offensive with their views. they become offensive with their views. So I think like the difference is I want So I think like the difference is I want So I think like the difference is I want to hold my offensive view deeply and to hold my offensive view deeply and to hold my offensive view deeply and truly and biblically but then I want to truly and biblically but then I want to truly and biblically but then I want to move towards people in a non-offensive move towards people in a non-offensive move towards people in a non-offensive way with my offensive view. Does that way with my offensive view. Does that way with my offensive view. Does that make sense? make sense? make sense? >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> You know that we're moving towards >> You know that we're moving towards >> You know that we're moving towards people instead of like, you know, if so, people instead of like, you know, if so, people instead of like, you know, if so, yes, I mean, amen. Like our biblical yes, I mean, amen. Like our biblical yes, I mean, amen. Like our biblical sexual ethic is offensive in the world sexual ethic is offensive in the world sexual ethic is offensive in the world today. But what does that mean that you today. But what does that mean that you today. But what does that mean that you do with your same-sex neighbors, you do with your same-sex neighbors, you do with your same-sex neighbors, you know, that are, you know, two women know, that are, you know, two women know, that are, you know, two women married? Um, and does that mean that you married? Um, and does that mean that you married? Um, and does that mean that you just build your walls, right? like you just build your walls, right? like you just build your walls, right? like you build your wall between them because my build your wall between them because my build your wall between them because my view is that that is wrong. I am view is that that is wrong. I am view is that that is wrong. I am therefore going to distance myself from therefore going to distance myself from therefore going to distance myself from those people or do you say my deeply those people or do you say my deeply those people or do you say my deeply held view and the gospel actually held view and the gospel actually held view and the gospel actually compels me to move towards people and so compels me to move towards people and so compels me to move towards people and so I just think there's a difference I just think there's a difference I just think there's a difference between an offensive view and being between an offensive view and being between an offensive view and being offensive with your views. That's right.

offensive with your views. That's right. offensive with your views. That's right. That's right. I think what we have to That's right. I think what we have to That's right. I think what we have to expect is that even if we are kind and expect is that even if we are kind and expect is that even if we are kind and loving and patient and move toward some loving and patient and move toward some loving and patient and move toward some will reject us just because of the will reject us just because of the will reject us just because of the message that we hold dear like that. So, message that we hold dear like that. So, message that we hold dear like that. So, so that and I think that's what's so that and I think that's what's so that and I think that's what's difficult for a people pleaser. You difficult for a people pleaser. You difficult for a people pleaser. You know, I think we have to accept that know, I think we have to accept that know, I think we have to accept that sometimes we become representative sometimes we become representative sometimes we become representative of the biblical story and that's hard. of the biblical story and that's hard. of the biblical story and that's hard. So we do become basically that So we do become basically that So we do become basically that representative of the rock of offense representative of the rock of offense representative of the rock of offense you know that there's one way there's you know that there's one way there's you know that there's one way there's you know and and everything but our our you know and and everything but our our you know and and everything but our our but we should be the most understanding but we should be the most understanding but we should be the most understanding of anyone who doesn't actually hold our of anyone who doesn't actually hold our of anyone who doesn't actually hold our views because what we know is that the views because what we know is that the views because what we know is that the things of the spirit can't be discerned things of the spirit can't be discerned things of the spirit can't be discerned without the spirit. So in a lot of ways without the spirit. So in a lot of ways without the spirit. So in a lot of ways we should be the most understanding of we should be the most understanding of we should be the most understanding of why non-Christians do not get my why non-Christians do not get my why non-Christians do not get my worldview. I totally get why they don't worldview. I totally get why they don't worldview. I totally get why they don't get my worldview because the only reason get my worldview because the only reason get my worldview because the only reason I have my worldview is because the I have my worldview is because the I have my worldview is because the spirit has opened my eyes to see the spirit has opened my eyes to see the spirit has opened my eyes to see the things of God and then empowered you to things of God and then empowered you to things of God and then empowered you to live according to it. Yes. Yes. So live according to it. Yes. Yes. So live according to it. Yes. Yes. So there's no like oh I have a better view there's no like oh I have a better view there's no like oh I have a better view than you. It's I've been changed. And so than you. It's I've been changed. And so than you. It's I've been changed. And so I should be able to bear very patiently I should be able to bear very patiently I should be able to bear very patiently with, you know, views that are against with, you know, views that are against with, you know, views that are against Christianity in in a lot of ways and Christianity in in a lot of ways and Christianity in in a lot of ways and actually understand why they're offended actually understand why they're offended actually understand why they're offended at my views. Like we can hold that at my views. Like we can hold that at my views. Like we can hold that tension because, you know, I mean, the tension because, you know, I mean, the tension because, you know, I mean, the scripture actually calls not like a

scripture actually calls not like a scripture actually calls not like a person who doesn't know Christ blind. I person who doesn't know Christ blind. I person who doesn't know Christ blind. I was blind and now I see. And so it's was blind and now I see. And so it's was blind and now I see. And so it's kind of like looking at someone and kind of like looking at someone and kind of like looking at someone and saying, "How can you see the things of saying, "How can you see the things of saying, "How can you see the things of God without the spirit of God? You God without the spirit of God? You God without the spirit of God? You can't." can't." can't." >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> And so we should be highly unoffendable >> And so we should be highly unoffendable >> And so we should be highly unoffendable by our culture. And so unfortunately by our culture. And so unfortunately by our culture. And so unfortunately those Christians were often very those Christians were often very those Christians were often very offended by our culture. And it's it's offended by our culture. And it's it's offended by our culture. And it's it's right to care about the things of God, right to care about the things of God, right to care about the things of God, right? I mean, Jesus went in the temple right? I mean, Jesus went in the temple right? I mean, Jesus went in the temple and when he saw the temple changers, he and when he saw the temple changers, he and when he saw the temple changers, he was very upset about what was happening. was very upset about what was happening. was very upset about what was happening. So it's it is right to care about what So it's it is right to care about what So it's it is right to care about what pleases God. We don't want to we don't pleases God. We don't want to we don't pleases God. We don't want to we don't want to say that's not important, but want to say that's not important, but want to say that's not important, but the way we do it needs to be really the way we do it needs to be really the way we do it needs to be really thoughtful and with compassion to those thoughtful and with compassion to those thoughtful and with compassion to those who don't know God. Yeah. You know, in a who don't know God. Yeah. You know, in a who don't know God. Yeah. You know, in a lot of ways, that's so good. That's so lot of ways, that's so good. That's so lot of ways, that's so good. That's so good, Melissa, and so true. I mean, I've good, Melissa, and so true. I mean, I've good, Melissa, and so true. I mean, I've said before like, yeah, without the said before like, yeah, without the said before like, yeah, without the spirit, your eyes aren't opened. And spirit, your eyes aren't opened. And spirit, your eyes aren't opened. And without the spirit, you can't even align without the spirit, you can't even align without the spirit, you can't even align your life with like the the biblical your life with like the the biblical your life with like the the biblical mandates. Like, it's just it's mandates. Like, it's just it's mandates. Like, it's just it's impossible. It requires the spirit to impossible. It requires the spirit to impossible. It requires the spirit to both see it and and do it. Well, I want both see it and and do it. Well, I want both see it and and do it. Well, I want to ask you a question. Okay. So, we all to ask you a question. Okay. So, we all to ask you a question. Okay. So, we all know people that are just easily know people that are just easily know people that are just easily offended, right? And very prickly, very offended, right? And very prickly, very offended, right? And very prickly, very um I kind of feel like I'm walking on um I kind of feel like I'm walking on um I kind of feel like I'm walking on eggshells like tiptoeing around people eggshells like tiptoeing around people eggshells like tiptoeing around people like that because I just know like going like that because I just know like going like that because I just know like going to say the wrong thing. I'm going to say to say the wrong thing. I'm going to say to say the wrong thing. I'm going to say the right thing the wrong way. I'm going the right thing the wrong way. I'm going the right thing the wrong way. I'm going to like I just I just know that they are to like I just I just know that they are to like I just I just know that they are going to be easily offended. So, what going to be easily offended. So, what going to be easily offended. So, what should should we be offended by their should should we be offended by their should should we be offended by their offendability? Like should should their

offendability? Like should should their offendability? Like should should their offensiveness or their ease their ease offensiveness or their ease their ease offensiveness or their ease their ease at which they're offended be offensive at which they're offended be offensive at which they're offended be offensive to us? Like what do we do with people to us? Like what do we do with people to us? Like what do we do with people that are that are like that? Um because that are that are like that? Um because that are that are like that? Um because we all know those people we all know those people we all know those people >> and Lord, please help us not be those >> and Lord, please help us not be those >> and Lord, please help us not be those people. Like please help me not be those people. Like please help me not be those people. Like please help me not be those people. people. people. >> I don't like this question, Courtney, >> I don't like this question, Courtney, >> I don't like this question, Courtney, because I'll be honest, I'm a little bit because I'll be honest, I'm a little bit because I'll be honest, I'm a little bit tempted to run the other way. like tempted to run the other way. like tempted to run the other way. like easily offended people kind of scare me easily offended people kind of scare me easily offended people kind of scare me cuz I'm like, "Oh, I mean I really hate cuz I'm like, "Oh, I mean I really hate cuz I'm like, "Oh, I mean I really hate to be offensive. Exhaust me." to be offensive. Exhaust me." to be offensive. Exhaust me." >> I know. >> I know. >> I know. >> Yes. And it's like, "Oh, that hurt, that >> Yes. And it's like, "Oh, that hurt, that >> Yes. And it's like, "Oh, that hurt, that hurt, that hurt." You know, and you just hurt, that hurt." You know, and you just hurt, that hurt." You know, and you just So, I have to lean in So, I have to lean in So, I have to lean in and be willing to to just take it and and be willing to to just take it and and be willing to to just take it and just to remember the Lord, how much I just to remember the Lord, how much I just to remember the Lord, how much I must offend the Lord. and he patiently must offend the Lord. and he patiently must offend the Lord. and he patiently and tenderly deals with me and he keeps and tenderly deals with me and he keeps and tenderly deals with me and he keeps welcoming me back. That's grace and welcoming me back. That's grace and welcoming me back. That's grace and that's walking with others with that's walking with others with that's walking with others with graciousness. Um, and I need to do that graciousness. Um, and I need to do that graciousness. Um, and I need to do that better. Cuz my temptation when I'm better. Cuz my temptation when I'm better. Cuz my temptation when I'm around an easily offended person who around an easily offended person who around an easily offended person who seems highly sensitive is to just think, seems highly sensitive is to just think, seems highly sensitive is to just think, "Yeah, I'm going call a different friend "Yeah, I'm going call a different friend "Yeah, I'm going call a different friend to go do that." You know, and that's to go do that." You know, and that's to go do that." You know, and that's that's that's that's you know, I I need to remember a lot of you know, I I need to remember a lot of you know, I I need to remember a lot of time, like you said earlier, an easily time, like you said earlier, an easily time, like you said earlier, an easily offended person comes with a story offended person comes with a story offended person comes with a story that's really hard. And perhaps this is that's really hard. And perhaps this is that's really hard. And perhaps this is the place where we need to lean in and the place where we need to lean in and the place where we need to lean in and love, you know, with just a deep

love, you know, with just a deep love, you know, with just a deep graciousness. Um, and I I feel really graciousness. Um, and I I feel really graciousness. Um, and I I feel really convicted about that. Like I need to do convicted about that. Like I need to do convicted about that. Like I need to do that. Well, like you said, absorb it. that. Well, like you said, absorb it. that. Well, like you said, absorb it. just absorb it and keep loving, just absorb it and keep loving, just absorb it and keep loving, you know, and and enter in. What do you you know, and and enter in. What do you you know, and and enter in. What do you think about when you think about easily think about when you think about easily think about when you think about easily offended people? offended people? offended people? >> Yeah, I think it is exhausting. Um, and >> Yeah, I think it is exhausting. Um, and >> Yeah, I think it is exhausting. Um, and I I don't want to be that person cuz you I I don't want to be that person cuz you I I don't want to be that person cuz you just think, oh my word, like I can't say just think, oh my word, like I can't say just think, oh my word, like I can't say or do anything right. And [sighs] and or do anything right. And [sighs] and or do anything right. And [sighs] and you just feel like Yeah. I mean, they're you just feel like Yeah. I mean, they're you just feel like Yeah. I mean, they're they're looking for it. It it it's the they're looking for it. It it it's the they're looking for it. It it it's the self-absorption, too, of being easily self-absorption, too, of being easily self-absorption, too, of being easily offended. I mean that that self offended. I mean that that self offended. I mean that that self prioritization of like you're the most prioritization of like you're the most prioritization of like you're the most important person in the room and what important person in the room and what important person in the room and what you're feeling is going to you know win you're feeling is going to you know win you're feeling is going to you know win the day. It just it gets exhausting the day. It just it gets exhausting the day. It just it gets exhausting after a while. And so I think even like after a while. And so I think even like after a while. And so I think even like this idea of knowing so this idea of knowing so this idea of knowing so knowing what to do when we have offended knowing what to do when we have offended knowing what to do when we have offended somebody um because there are times that somebody um because there are times that somebody um because there are times that we offend people that it is so clear the we offend people that it is so clear the we offend people that it is so clear the only response is repentance and to move only response is repentance and to move only response is repentance and to move towards that person. like that is that towards that person. like that is that towards that person. like that is that is clear. But there are other times is clear. But there are other times is clear. But there are other times where it's you just start seeing this where it's you just start seeing this where it's you just start seeing this pattern of like actually what I did pattern of like actually what I did pattern of like actually what I did wasn't um I mean it's hard because you wasn't um I mean it's hard because you wasn't um I mean it's hard because you can't you know you can't dictate how can't you know you can't dictate how can't you know you can't dictate how somebody else feels about it. But there somebody else feels about it. But there somebody else feels about it. But there are those times where are those times where are those times where you know that it shouldn't. I think we you know that it shouldn't. I think we you know that it shouldn't. I think we heir on the side of repentance and heir on the side of repentance and heir on the side of repentance and moving towards moving towards moving towards um by far. But I think there are those

um by far. But I think there are those um by far. But I think there are those situations where maybe this idea, you situations where maybe this idea, you situations where maybe this idea, you know, Ephesians 4:15 that we speak the know, Ephesians 4:15 that we speak the know, Ephesians 4:15 that we speak the truth in love and we help each other truth in love and we help each other truth in love and we help each other grow up in Christ. I think there is a grow up in Christ. I think there is a grow up in Christ. I think there is a time and a and certain relationships time and a and certain relationships time and a and certain relationships where we can move towards that person where we can move towards that person where we can move towards that person and even have this conversation about um and even have this conversation about um and even have this conversation about um you know maybe send them a copy of the you know maybe send them a copy of the you know maybe send them a copy of the podcast [laughter] >> and say hey can we just kidding totally >> and say hey can we just kidding totally but um you know this idea of moving but um you know this idea of moving but um you know this idea of moving towards somebody to have the towards somebody to have the towards somebody to have the conversation of like I do feel like I conversation of like I do feel like I conversation of like I do feel like I walk on eggshells around you and I would walk on eggshells around you and I would walk on eggshells around you and I would like to not um I want you to know like like to not um I want you to know like like to not um I want you to know like my heart is for you. I am not I am not my heart is for you. I am not I am not my heart is for you. I am not I am not trying to be offensive. I do not want to trying to be offensive. I do not want to trying to be offensive. I do not want to hurt you. Um, I will at times and I want hurt you. Um, I will at times and I want hurt you. Um, I will at times and I want you to come to me, but I would also like you to come to me, but I would also like you to come to me, but I would also like to have the the foundation of a to have the the foundation of a to have the the foundation of a relationship with you that we're not relationship with you that we're not relationship with you that we're not tiptoeing around each other because tiptoeing around each other because tiptoeing around each other because we're so fragile, you know, and so I I we're so fragile, you know, and so I I we're so fragile, you know, and so I I think there are times to have those think there are times to have those think there are times to have those conversations, but I think this idea of conversations, but I think this idea of conversations, but I think this idea of like um that we can offend God like we like um that we can offend God like we like um that we can offend God like we do. The scripture talks about that that do. The scripture talks about that that do. The scripture talks about that that he is affect I I had written down Isaiah he is affect I I had written down Isaiah he is affect I I had written down Isaiah 59 that the Lord saw that there was no 59 that the Lord saw that there was no 59 that the Lord saw that there was no justice and he was offended.

justice and he was offended. justice and he was offended. Like I think about you know how when I Like I think about you know how when I Like I think about you know how when I feel offended and then to think like the feel offended and then to think like the feel offended and then to think like the Lord in righteousness, in truth, in Lord in righteousness, in truth, in Lord in righteousness, in truth, in purity, in holiness is offended by our purity, in holiness is offended by our purity, in holiness is offended by our sins. I mean, that should humble us in sins. I mean, that should humble us in sins. I mean, that should humble us in in a way that that nothing else um that in a way that that nothing else um that in a way that that nothing else um that nothing else actually does. But what nothing else actually does. But what nothing else actually does. But what about you? What do you think about about you? What do you think about about you? What do you think about Christlike ways to respond um when we've Christlike ways to respond um when we've Christlike ways to respond um when we've when we've offended somebody? when we've offended somebody? when we've offended somebody? >> Yeah. I think one thing that you just >> Yeah. I think one thing that you just >> Yeah. I think one thing that you just said that I do want to even hit on a said that I do want to even hit on a said that I do want to even hit on a little bit more when you were talking little bit more when you were talking little bit more when you were talking about a person who's sensitive and you about a person who's sensitive and you about a person who's sensitive and you you know, you kind of lean in a little you know, you kind of lean in a little you know, you kind of lean in a little bit and confront some of that. Normally bit and confront some of that. Normally bit and confront some of that. Normally if it's a big pattern it won't be just if it's a big pattern it won't be just if it's a big pattern it won't be just to us. So you know for instance if the to us. So you know for instance if the to us. So you know for instance if the person comes and becourtney looked at me person comes and becourtney looked at me person comes and becourtney looked at me weird again I mean sometimes you can do weird again I mean sometimes you can do weird again I mean sometimes you can do it in a situations that's not about you it in a situations that's not about you it in a situations that's not about you and so I could be like no I know and so I could be like no I know and so I could be like no I know Courtney she loves you. You know Courtney she loves you. You know Courtney she loves you. You know sometimes I do think there's an sometimes I do think there's an sometimes I do think there's an opportunity with a overly sensitive opportunity with a overly sensitive opportunity with a overly sensitive offensive person to do it on an issue offensive person to do it on an issue offensive person to do it on an issue because then they won't think it was because then they won't think it was because then they won't think it was just that you felt sensitive. Like just that you felt sensitive. Like just that you felt sensitive. Like sometimes it feels like you're sensitive sometimes it feels like you're sensitive sometimes it feels like you're sensitive that you were sensitive. Um and so there that you were sensitive. Um and so there that you were sensitive. Um and so there there sometimes is an opportunity to there sometimes is an opportunity to there sometimes is an opportunity to speak truth. You know that earlier verse speak truth. You know that earlier verse speak truth. You know that earlier verse when it said um you know basically when when it said um you know basically when when it said um you know basically when you're offended you're going to go tell you're offended you're going to go tell you're offended you're going to go tell someone else. Well when we're the person someone else. Well when we're the person someone else. Well when we're the person who's being told about the offense there who's being told about the offense there who's being told about the offense there is an opportunity in that moment to just

is an opportunity in that moment to just is an opportunity in that moment to just say hey um I you know maybe that's not say hey um I you know maybe that's not say hey um I you know maybe that's not what they meant like and try to diffuse what they meant like and try to diffuse what they meant like and try to diffuse the situation. I I think there's there's the situation. I I think there's there's the situation. I I think there's there's a way, but I but I think a way, but I but I think a way, but I but I think >> I think when we've offended someone, >> I think when we've offended someone, >> I think when we've offended someone, yeah, I'm with you. Like, we just need yeah, I'm with you. Like, we just need yeah, I'm with you. Like, we just need to be quick to repent. I mean, the to be quick to repent. I mean, the to be quick to repent. I mean, the Lord's prayer sets us up for this. Lord's prayer sets us up for this. Lord's prayer sets us up for this. Forgive us our debtors as we forgive our Forgive us our debtors as we forgive our Forgive us our debtors as we forgive our debts. Or no, forgive us our debts as we debts. Or no, forgive us our debts as we debts. Or no, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Golly, what's my forgive our debtors. Golly, what's my forgive our debtors. Golly, what's my problem? [laughter] problem? [laughter] problem? [laughter] Okay, I'm winning today. Okay, I'm winning today. Okay, I'm winning today. It's like when I told Shelby one time, I It's like when I told Shelby one time, I It's like when I told Shelby one time, I said, um, the Lord came not to not to said, um, the Lord came not to not to said, um, the Lord came not to not to serve, but to be served. I totally serve, but to be served. I totally serve, but to be served. I totally flipped that verse on its head. Yes. So, flipped that verse on its head. Yes. So, flipped that verse on its head. Yes. So, but but really when you think about it, but but really when you think about it, but but really when you think about it, I think I'm constantly shocked by how I think I'm constantly shocked by how I think I'm constantly shocked by how much I need to ask for forgiveness and much I need to ask for forgiveness and much I need to ask for forgiveness and how much I need to forgive in the how much I need to forgive in the how much I need to forgive in the Christian life. And yet, the Lord's Christian life. And yet, the Lord's Christian life. And yet, the Lord's prayer, which is to be kind of our model prayer, which is to be kind of our model prayer, which is to be kind of our model prayer, presupposes this. You know, it prayer, presupposes this. You know, it prayer, presupposes this. You know, it sets us up to realize, oh yeah, we're sets us up to realize, oh yeah, we're sets us up to realize, oh yeah, we're probably really going to be offensive to probably really going to be offensive to probably really going to be offensive to people. we're gonna sin and we're people. we're gonna sin and we're people. we're gonna sin and we're actually not just gonna be offensive.

actually not just gonna be offensive. actually not just gonna be offensive. We're gonna sin against one another. We're gonna sin against one another. We're gonna sin against one another. Like we're gonna make mistakes and so we Like we're gonna make mistakes and so we Like we're gonna make mistakes and so we need to be quick repenters and just need to be quick repenters and just need to be quick repenters and just remember there's no condemnation for remember there's no condemnation for remember there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Like the those who are in Christ Jesus. Like the those who are in Christ Jesus. Like the reason we can repent quickly is it's reason we can repent quickly is it's reason we can repent quickly is it's already all been covered. A and so we already all been covered. A and so we already all been covered. A and so we just need to be quick to see, hey, maybe just need to be quick to see, hey, maybe just need to be quick to see, hey, maybe I did make a mistake here. Maybe I did I did make a mistake here. Maybe I did I did make a mistake here. Maybe I did didn't notice everything because there didn't notice everything because there didn't notice everything because there are sins of omission and commission. So are sins of omission and commission. So are sins of omission and commission. So maybe I did fail to see you're really maybe I did fail to see you're really maybe I did fail to see you're really hurting and I should apologize for that. hurting and I should apologize for that. hurting and I should apologize for that. You know, we we are so quick to defend You know, we we are so quick to defend You know, we we are so quick to defend self. Um rather than just be like, "Oh self. Um rather than just be like, "Oh self. Um rather than just be like, "Oh yeah, I could have done I could have yeah, I could have done I could have yeah, I could have done I could have done that better." And it's okay that done that better." And it's okay that done that better." And it's okay that we're not perfect. And I think we we we're not perfect. And I think we we we're not perfect. And I think we we want to self-justify even though we have want to self-justify even though we have want to self-justify even though we have a God who's already justified us. And so a God who's already justified us. And so a God who's already justified us. And so I think that that that that helps us let I think that that that that helps us let I think that that that that helps us let go of of some of this. and um and then go of of some of this. and um and then go of of some of this. and um and then really give forgiveness freely and give really give forgiveness freely and give really give forgiveness freely and give it freely because we've been freely it freely because we've been freely it freely because we've been freely forgiven. And I am so often like that forgiven. And I am so often like that forgiven. And I am so often like that unmerciful servant who's been forgiven unmerciful servant who's been forgiven unmerciful servant who's been forgiven this huge debt and I've got this little this huge debt and I've got this little this huge debt and I've got this little debt against me and I want to throttle debt against me and I want to throttle debt against me and I want to throttle the person, you know, and and and I see the person, you know, and and and I see the person, you know, and and and I see that when I read that passage, I'm like, that when I read that passage, I'm like, that when I read that passage, I'm like, "Help me, Jesus. Help me to remember "Help me, Jesus. Help me to remember "Help me, Jesus. Help me to remember what I've been forgiven so I help me to what I've been forgiven so I help me to what I've been forgiven so I help me to remember how offenses I've been to you remember how offenses I've been to you remember how offenses I've been to you so I will be offended less by others.

so I will be offended less by others. so I will be offended less by others. Oh, that's so good. And keep praying Oh, that's so good. And keep praying Oh, that's so good. And keep praying Psalm 139. Like see if there is an Psalm 139. Like see if there is an Psalm 139. Like see if there is an offensive way in and and like show it to offensive way in and and like show it to offensive way in and and like show it to me. Like show me like let's just be me. Like show me like let's just be me. Like show me like let's just be women that keep praying that so that women that keep praying that so that women that keep praying that so that >> so that we truly are less offensive. Um >> so that we truly are less offensive. Um >> so that we truly are less offensive. Um okay. So sometimes our offenses are just okay. So sometimes our offenses are just okay. So sometimes our offenses are just at annoyances and we all have little pet at annoyances and we all have little pet at annoyances and we all have little pet peeves that So this is how we're going peeves that So this is how we're going peeves that So this is how we're going to end. This is just a fun question to to end. This is just a fun question to to end. This is just a fun question to end on. But um we all have these little end on. But um we all have these little end on. But um we all have these little annoyances that turn into pet peeves and annoyances that turn into pet peeves and annoyances that turn into pet peeves and and there is a connection there between and there is a connection there between and there is a connection there between like that's what offends us. So I want like that's what offends us. So I want like that's what offends us. So I want to know Melissa Krueger. I want to know to know Melissa Krueger. I want to know to know Melissa Krueger. I want to know an annoyance or a pet peeve that when an annoyance or a pet peeve that when an annoyance or a pet peeve that when you recognize it in yourself, you just you recognize it in yourself, you just you recognize it in yourself, you just laugh at yourself. Like why am I like laugh at yourself. Like why am I like laugh at yourself. Like why am I like this? because I have so many of those this? because I have so many of those this? because I have so many of those that I'm like, "What is wrong with me?" that I'm like, "What is wrong with me?" that I'm like, "What is wrong with me?" [gasps] [gasps] [gasps] >> I don't know that I laugh at myself yet. >> I don't know that I laugh at myself yet. >> I don't know that I laugh at myself yet. I might be feeling justified in it. I might be feeling justified in it. I might be feeling justified in it. Okay. When you're driving along the road Okay. When you're driving along the road Okay. When you're driving along the road and you know there's like a road a lane and you know there's like a road a lane and you know there's like a road a lane closure and everybody's nicely getting closure and everybody's nicely getting closure and everybody's nicely getting over over over >> and there's always the one person who >> and there's always the one person who >> and there's always the one person who drives to the front of the line and cuts drives to the front of the line and cuts drives to the front of the line and cuts in front at the last minute. I'm deeply in front at the last minute. I'm deeply in front at the last minute. I'm deeply offended by him. I'm deeply offended.

offended by him. I'm deeply offended. offended by him. I'm deeply offended. >> I am too. I am >> I am too. I am >> I am too. I am >> deep. I'm like, you are a bad person. >> deep. I'm like, you are a bad person. >> deep. I'm like, you are a bad person. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] Or if you're getting off of an airplane Or if you're getting off of an airplane Or if you're getting off of an airplane and you know, it's like there's a rule and you know, it's like there's a rule and you know, it's like there's a rule here and everybody knows it. Do not act here and everybody knows it. Do not act here and everybody knows it. Do not act like you do not know that you wait for like you do not know that you wait for like you do not know that you wait for the rose in front of you. Oh, I am. the rose in front of you. Oh, I am. the rose in front of you. Oh, I am. >> I mean, and I just sit there and fume >> I mean, and I just sit there and fume >> I mean, and I just sit there and fume like whether I'm behind that person on like whether I'm behind that person on like whether I'm behind that person on the road or I'm behind that person on the road or I'm behind that person on the road or I'm behind that person on the airplane, I'm just like, do you not the airplane, I'm just like, do you not the airplane, I'm just like, do you not know the rules? Do you not know? And know the rules? Do you not know? And know the rules? Do you not know? And then I'm like, "No, you do know the then I'm like, "No, you do know the then I'm like, "No, you do know the rules and you just prioritized self." rules and you just prioritized self." rules and you just prioritized self." >> Yes. And it irritates me. [laughter] >> Yes. And it irritates me. [laughter] >> Yes. And it irritates me. [laughter] >> Do you have any other >> Do you have any other >> Do you have any other >> that are yours or >> that are yours or >> that are yours or >> Yeah. I When somebody is like, I'll >> Yeah. I When somebody is like, I'll >> Yeah. I When somebody is like, I'll clean the kitchen. Uh cuz right now I've clean the kitchen. Uh cuz right now I've clean the kitchen. Uh cuz right now I've told you, you know, we've got all these told you, you know, we've got all these told you, you know, we've got all these people living here. Wonderful people. people living here. Wonderful people. people living here. Wonderful people. And when the kitchen, like to me, the And when the kitchen, like to me, the And when the kitchen, like to me, the kitchen is not clean until the sink is kitchen is not clean until the sink is kitchen is not clean until the sink is also clean. So, the garbage disposal has also clean. So, the garbage disposal has also clean. So, the garbage disposal has been run, the, you know, like it's wiped been run, the, you know, like it's wiped been run, the, you know, like it's wiped down. And so, when I come in and yes, down. And so, when I come in and yes, down. And so, when I come in and yes, the dishes have been put away, but the the dishes have been put away, but the the dishes have been put away, but the sink still has like food in it. I'm sink still has like food in it. I'm sink still has like food in it. I'm like, what is wrong with you people?

like, what is wrong with you people? like, what is wrong with you people? Like, Like, Like, >> yeah, there's a moral failing there. >> yeah, there's a moral failing there. >> yeah, there's a moral failing there. There's a the cheese is now sticking There's a the cheese is now sticking There's a the cheese is now sticking harder to my sink because you didn't harder to my sink because you didn't harder to my sink because you didn't wipe it out. wipe it out. wipe it out. >> My word. And then I see that in myself. >> My word. And then I see that in myself. >> My word. And then I see that in myself. And I do I I do laugh at myself because And I do I I do laugh at myself because And I do I I do laugh at myself because I am ridiculous in probably 98% of my I am ridiculous in probably 98% of my I am ridiculous in probably 98% of my life. Okay, friends, we hope that you life. Okay, friends, we hope that you life. Okay, friends, we hope that you have been encouraged by this episode of have been encouraged by this episode of have been encouraged by this episode of the deep dish from the Gospel Coalition. the deep dish from the Gospel Coalition. the deep dish from the Gospel Coalition. And yeah, if so, consider sharing it And yeah, if so, consider sharing it And yeah, if so, consider sharing it with others and uh use it as a platform with others and uh use it as a platform with others and uh use it as a platform for conversations. But leave us for conversations. But leave us for conversations. But leave us comments. We'd love to know the silly comments. We'd love to know the silly comments. We'd love to know the silly things that offend you, but also how you things that offend you, but also how you things that offend you, but also how you are growing in your ability to absorb are growing in your ability to absorb are growing in your ability to absorb and overlook and cover the offenses of and overlook and cover the offenses of and overlook and cover the offenses of others. Oh yeah. See you next time.