Encouragement for Ministry Wives [TGC Podcast - Ep. 378]

my name is Kristen weatherall I have my name is Kristen weatherall I have been a pastor's wife for about 10 years been a pastor's wife for about 10 years been a pastor's wife for about 10 years I'm married to Brad who is the campus I'm married to Brad who is the campus I'm married to Brad who is the campus pastor at our church the orchard in pastor at our church the orchard in pastor at our church the orchard in Illinois I'm a mom of three and I'm a Illinois I'm a mom of three and I'm a Illinois I'm a mom of three and I'm a writer I've written books like help for writer I've written books like help for writer I've written books like help for the hungry Soul hope when it hurts and the hungry Soul hope when it hurts and the hungry Soul hope when it hurts and most recently the board book series for most recently the board book series for most recently the board book series for the Bible tells me the Bible tells me the Bible tells me so uh Christy Ana bu here in the middle so uh Christy Ana bu here in the middle so uh Christy Ana bu here in the middle welcome Christie she's a pastor's wife welcome Christie she's a pastor's wife welcome Christie she's a pastor's wife and the mother of AIA Eden and Titus she and the mother of AIA Eden and Titus she and the mother of AIA Eden and Titus she joyfully supports her husband of 32 joyfully supports her husband of 32 joyfully supports her husband of 32 years theid as he pastors I know right years theid as he pastors I know right years theid as he pastors I know right as he pastors Anacostia River Church in as he pastors Anacostia River Church in as he pastors Anacostia River Church in southeast Washington DC christe is the southeast Washington DC christe is the southeast Washington DC christe is the author of The Bible study delighting in author of The Bible study delighting in author of The Bible study delighting in God's law the book literarily how God's law the book literarily how God's law the book literarily how understanding Bible genres transforms understanding Bible genres transforms understanding Bible genres transforms Bible study and the editor of his Bible study and the editor of his Bible study and the editor of his testimonies my heritage women of color testimonies my heritage women of color testimonies my heritage women of color on the word of on the word of on the word of God Christine Hoover on the end over God Christine Hoover on the end over God Christine Hoover on the end over here serves as the women's ministry here serves as the women's ministry here serves as the women's ministry associate at the Austin Stones Northwest associate at the Austin Stones Northwest associate at the Austin Stones Northwest congregation she hosts the ministry congregation she hosts the ministry congregation she hosts the ministry wives podcast and has authored seven wives podcast and has authored seven wives podcast and has authored seven books including messy beautiful books including messy beautiful books including messy beautiful friendship how to thrive as a pastor's friendship how to thrive as a pastor's friendship how to thrive as a pastor's wife and you are not forgotten Christina wife and you are not forgotten Christina wife and you are not forgotten Christina is married to Kyle a pastor at the is married to Kyle a pastor at the is married to Kyle a pastor at the Austin Stone and they have three Austin Stone and they have three Austin Stone and they have three boys and last but certainly not least is

boys and last but certainly not least is boys and last but certainly not least is Glenna Marshall to my left pastor's wife Glenna Marshall to my left pastor's wife Glenna Marshall to my left pastor's wife and mother of two sons Glenna is the and mother of two sons Glenna is the and mother of two sons Glenna is the author of The Promise is his presence author of The Promise is his presence author of The Promise is his presence everyday faithfulness and memorizing everyday faithfulness and memorizing everyday faithfulness and memorizing scripture she writes regularly on scripture she writes regularly on scripture she writes regularly on biblical literacy suffering and the biblical literacy suffering and the biblical literacy suffering and the faithfulness of God and is a member of faithfulness of God and is a member of faithfulness of God and is a member of Grace Bible Fellowship in syon Missouri Grace Bible Fellowship in syon Missouri Grace Bible Fellowship in syon Missouri well glenner we're going to start with well glenner we're going to start with well glenner we're going to start with you this afternoon we Ministry wives we you this afternoon we Ministry wives we you this afternoon we Ministry wives we have our hands full with our families have our hands full with our families have our hands full with our families our churches and our other vocations and our churches and our other vocations and our churches and our other vocations and callings how can we be sure that we are callings how can we be sure that we are callings how can we be sure that we are actually Walking With Jesus and not just actually Walking With Jesus and not just actually Walking With Jesus and not just doing things for Jesus I think that if doing things for Jesus I think that if doing things for Jesus I think that if we are not underg guarding our ministry we are not underg guarding our ministry we are not underg guarding our ministry with our faithfulness and our with our faithfulness and our with our faithfulness and our relationship with Christ we will relationship with Christ we will relationship with Christ we will struggle I have been a pastor's wife for struggle I have been a pastor's wife for struggle I have been a pastor's wife for 20 years and we've been at our church 20 years and we've been at our church 20 years and we've been at our church for 19 of those years and my first for 19 of those years and my first for 19 of those years and my first probably five to S years I had no Bible probably five to S years I had no Bible probably five to S years I had no Bible study habits I did not read the word study habits I did not read the word study habits I did not read the word regularly I was too busy I was lazy I regularly I was too busy I was lazy I regularly I was too busy I was lazy I didn't know exactly how to study the didn't know exactly how to study the didn't know exactly how to study the Bible and just you know I was the Bible and just you know I was the Bible and just you know I was the pastor's wife and did not have Bible pastor's wife and did not have Bible pastor's wife and did not have Bible study habits so if you are feeling study habits so if you are feeling study habits so if you are feeling guilty of that you're not alone and I guilty of that you're not alone and I guilty of that you're not alone and I have to tell you I was unprepared for have to tell you I was unprepared for have to tell you I was unprepared for the trials of ministry the suffering of the trials of ministry the suffering of the trials of ministry the suffering of ministry I was unprepared when when ministry I was unprepared when when ministry I was unprepared when when people came to me for advice or wisdom I

people came to me for advice or wisdom I people came to me for advice or wisdom I had nothing to give them now thankfully had nothing to give them now thankfully had nothing to give them now thankfully the Lord has drawn me into just a deep the Lord has drawn me into just a deep the Lord has drawn me into just a deep love for scripture I I love to study his love for scripture I I love to study his love for scripture I I love to study his word I'm so thankful he has changed the word I'm so thankful he has changed the word I'm so thankful he has changed the trajectory of my life there I have trajectory of my life there I have trajectory of my life there I have nothing to give my people that is wiser nothing to give my people that is wiser nothing to give my people that is wiser than God's word I have no well to draw than God's word I have no well to draw than God's word I have no well to draw from besides scripture besides spending from besides scripture besides spending from besides scripture besides spending time with the Lord in time with the Lord in time with the Lord in prayer I could do a lot of things for prayer I could do a lot of things for prayer I could do a lot of things for the church and I I do a lot of things the church and I I do a lot of things the church and I I do a lot of things for the church for the church for the church but those things will be shallow and but those things will be shallow and but those things will be shallow and exhausting thank you and lead to burn exhausting thank you and lead to burn exhausting thank you and lead to burn out faster if I am not regularly out faster if I am not regularly out faster if I am not regularly drinking from The Well of scripture if I drinking from The Well of scripture if I drinking from The Well of scripture if I am not nourishing my relationship with am not nourishing my relationship with am not nourishing my relationship with Jesus because there's Ministry but you Jesus because there's Ministry but you Jesus because there's Ministry but you primarily first and foremost are a primarily first and foremost are a primarily first and foremost are a believer in Christ you have a believer in Christ you have a believer in Christ you have a relationship with Jesus that must be fed relationship with Jesus that must be fed relationship with Jesus that must be fed you must feed your faithfulness to the you must feed your faithfulness to the you must feed your faithfulness to the Lord it is the only way to withstand the Lord it is the only way to withstand the Lord it is the only way to withstand the trials of ministry um the criticisms trials of ministry um the criticisms trials of ministry um the criticisms that you or your husband or your family that you or your husband or your family that you or your husband or your family may receive you have nowhere else to go may receive you have nowhere else to go may receive you have nowhere else to go that's safer than to the Lord and I that's safer than to the Lord and I that's safer than to the Lord and I think it's good to keep in mind too that think it's good to keep in mind too that think it's good to keep in mind too that as you grow in your relationship with as you grow in your relationship with as you grow in your relationship with Jesus as you are seeking to nurture your Jesus as you are seeking to nurture your Jesus as you are seeking to nurture your faithfulness nurture that relationship faithfulness nurture that relationship faithfulness nurture that relationship that he understands what it's like to that he understands what it's like to that he understands what it's like to feel lonely to be betrayed feel lonely to be betrayed feel lonely to be betrayed and to suffer in front of others and so and to suffer in front of others and so and to suffer in front of others and so um I just would encourage you if you do

um I just would encourage you if you do um I just would encourage you if you do not have regular habits of spending time not have regular habits of spending time not have regular habits of spending time with the Lord in scripture and in prayer with the Lord in scripture and in prayer with the Lord in scripture and in prayer please please please if you do nothing please please please if you do nothing please please please if you do nothing else before you live this leave this else before you live this leave this else before you live this leave this weekend um make time for weekend um make time for weekend um make time for that one of the scriptures that we that one of the scriptures that we that one of the scriptures that we looked at as we were preparing for this looked at as we were preparing for this looked at as we were preparing for this panel discussion was from Isaiah 50 uh panel discussion was from Isaiah 50 uh panel discussion was from Isaiah 50 uh verse 4 it reads this the Lord God has verse 4 it reads this the Lord God has verse 4 it reads this the Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are given me the tongue of those who are given me the tongue of those who are taught that I may know how to sustain taught that I may know how to sustain taught that I may know how to sustain with a word him or her who is weary with a word him or her who is weary with a word him or her who is weary mourning by mourning he awakens he mourning by mourning he awakens he mourning by mourning he awakens he awakens my ear to hear as those who are awakens my ear to hear as those who are awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught sisters we are sustaining with taught sisters we are sustaining with taught sisters we are sustaining with our words with our lives those who are our words with our lives those who are our words with our lives those who are weary in our homes in our congregations weary in our homes in our congregations weary in our homes in our congregations and so what a privilege it is to first and so what a privilege it is to first and so what a privilege it is to first come to the Lord and to be sustained by come to the Lord and to be sustained by come to the Lord and to be sustained by him in order that we can then pour him in order that we can then pour him in order that we can then pour out well on that note we all need out well on that note we all need out well on that note we all need support right we are not exempt from support right we are not exempt from support right we are not exempt from that we all have weaknesses we have that we all have weaknesses we have that we all have weaknesses we have doubts and struggles like anyone else doubts and struggles like anyone else doubts and struggles like anyone else but is it actually possible for us to but is it actually possible for us to but is it actually possible for us to have good friends in our church have good friends in our church have good friends in our church Christine is it possible and if it is Christine is it possible and if it is Christine is it possible and if it is possible Is it wise can you give us some possible Is it wise can you give us some possible Is it wise can you give us some counsel about pursuing friendships in counsel about pursuing friendships in counsel about pursuing friendships in the church yes I love how chrisy looked the church yes I love how chrisy looked the church yes I love how chrisy looked at me like what what you going to at me like what what you going to at me like what what you going to say uh I do think it's might hit them say uh I do think it's might hit them say uh I do think it's might hit them yeah I do I do think it is possible I do

yeah I do I do think it is possible I do yeah I do I do think it is possible I do think it's possible and not only is it think it's possible and not only is it think it's possible and not only is it possible I think it's necessary I think possible I think it's necessary I think possible I think it's necessary I think a lot of times as pastors wives we can a lot of times as pastors wives we can a lot of times as pastors wives we can think of ourselves as think of ourselves as think of ourselves as exceptions we are exceptions within our exceptions we are exceptions within our exceptions we are exceptions within our church we can't have what other women church we can't have what other women church we can't have what other women have in terms of community and I think have in terms of community and I think have in terms of community and I think that that is a it that is a lie that that is a it that is a lie that that is a it that is a lie um that keeps us not only outside of um that keeps us not only outside of um that keeps us not only outside of community but Keeps Us stunted in our community but Keeps Us stunted in our community but Keeps Us stunted in our growth and so when we when we when I say growth and so when we when we when I say growth and so when we when we when I say it's not just a possible but it is it's not just a possible but it is it's not just a possible but it is necessary I mean that we are Christians necessary I mean that we are Christians necessary I mean that we are Christians first and so we need the sanctification first and so we need the sanctification first and so we need the sanctification of the body and in order for us to be of the body and in order for us to be of the body and in order for us to be Sanctified or to practice the one Sanctified or to practice the one Sanctified or to practice the one anothers of scripture or to receive uh anothers of scripture or to receive uh anothers of scripture or to receive uh receive the one anothers of scripture we receive the one anothers of scripture we receive the one anothers of scripture we have to be in relationships with people have to be in relationships with people have to be in relationships with people within our church within our church within our church Community now I say it's necessary but I Community now I say it's necessary but I Community now I say it's necessary but I also think it it it's wise that we be also think it it it's wise that we be also think it it it's wise that we be wise in the way that we interact with wise in the way that we interact with wise in the way that we interact with women in our church and develop women in our church and develop women in our church and develop friendship so over the years we've been friendship so over the years we've been friendship so over the years we've been my husband and I have been Min in my husband and I have been Min in my husband and I have been Min in Ministry for 24 years now over the years Ministry for 24 years now over the years Ministry for 24 years now over the years I've kind of developed some some I've kind of developed some some I've kind of developed some some principles or some ways that I think principles or some ways that I think principles or some ways that I think about developing friendship within the about developing friendship within the about developing friendship within the church the first thing is and this has church the first thing is and this has church the first thing is and this has been super helpful for me is to be able been super helpful for me is to be able been super helpful for me is to be able to distinguish between relationships and to distinguish between relationships and to distinguish between relationships and friendship so we have a lot of

friendship so we have a lot of friendship so we have a lot of relationships really everyone we relationships really everyone we relationships really everyone we interact with in the church we want to interact with in the church we want to interact with in the church we want to know their name we want to serve them know their name we want to serve them know their name we want to serve them well we want to honor them but just well we want to honor them but just well we want to honor them but just because we have a relationship with because we have a relationship with because we have a relationship with someone does not mean that we have a someone does not mean that we have a someone does not mean that we have a friendship with that person and so friendship with that person and so friendship with that person and so what's the distinction the distinction what's the distinction the distinction what's the distinction the distinction is is is mutuality uh so most of the time as mutuality uh so most of the time as mutuality uh so most of the time as pastors wives we interact with women not pastors wives we interact with women not pastors wives we interact with women not in a mutual relationship we interact in a mutual relationship we interact in a mutual relationship we interact with them in some sort of minist with them in some sort of minist with them in some sort of minist ministerial way and that's okay and ministerial way and that's okay and ministerial way and that's okay and that's good but it helps me when I'm that's good but it helps me when I'm that's good but it helps me when I'm going into an interaction with a woman going into an interaction with a woman going into an interaction with a woman let's say she asked me to get coffee it let's say she asked me to get coffee it let's say she asked me to get coffee it helps me to kind of distinguish is this helps me to kind of distinguish is this helps me to kind of distinguish is this a Ministry relationship or is this a a Ministry relationship or is this a a Ministry relationship or is this a friendship because I'm going to interact friendship because I'm going to interact friendship because I'm going to interact with that person a little bit with that person a little bit with that person a little bit differently one of the ways I'm going to differently one of the ways I'm going to differently one of the ways I'm going to interact with them differently is the interact with them differently is the interact with them differently is the expectation that I bring to that coffee expectation that I bring to that coffee expectation that I bring to that coffee I'm not going to expect her to ask me I'm not going to expect her to ask me I'm not going to expect her to ask me any questions or to to get to know me any questions or to to get to know me any questions or to to get to know me I'm gonna I'm GNA pour myself out for I'm gonna I'm GNA pour myself out for I'm gonna I'm GNA pour myself out for her and so the distinction between her and so the distinction between her and so the distinction between relationship and friendship that relationship and friendship that relationship and friendship that mutuality I want to be looking for who mutuality I want to be looking for who mutuality I want to be looking for who are women who who can handle being my are women who who can handle being my are women who who can handle being my friend meaning when I share something friend meaning when I share something friend meaning when I share something with them right when I share something with them right when I share something with them right when I share something with them that they don't get the deer with them that they don't get the deer with them that they don't get the deer in the headlights in the headlights in the headlights look like oh my pastor's wife just told look like oh my pastor's wife just told look like oh my pastor's wife just told me she's human and I don't know what to me she's human and I don't know what to me she's human and I don't know what to do with that that's not a person and do with that that's not a person and do with that that's not a person and that's okay I don't I don't have to be that's okay I don't I don't have to be that's okay I don't I don't have to be angry about that or frustrated but angry about that or frustrated but angry about that or frustrated but they're just showing me what kind of they're just showing me what kind of they're just showing me what kind of relationship we have and and that's not

relationship we have and and that's not relationship we have and and that's not going to be a friendship and that's okay going to be a friendship and that's okay going to be a friendship and that's okay but if there are women who return my but if there are women who return my but if there are women who return my questions who ask me questions that let questions who ask me questions that let questions who ask me questions that let me know they think of me of as a me know they think of me of as a me know they think of me of as a Christian as a human being first and and Christian as a human being first and and Christian as a human being first and and are are are okay with me kind of letting are are are okay with me kind of letting are are are okay with me kind of letting my Humanity show those are potential my Humanity show those are potential my Humanity show those are potential friends and those are people that I want friends and those are people that I want friends and those are people that I want to spend time with um and so that for me to spend time with um and so that for me to spend time with um and so that for me that distinction has been helpful a few that distinction has been helpful a few that distinction has been helpful a few other things have have been helpful one other things have have been helpful one other things have have been helpful one is just to take it slow with what we is just to take it slow with what we is just to take it slow with what we share with people if I don't know yet share with people if I don't know yet share with people if I don't know yet whether that person is a relationship or whether that person is a relationship or whether that person is a relationship or a friendship I'm probably not going to a friendship I'm probably not going to a friendship I'm probably not going to share as much with them at some at some share as much with them at some at some share as much with them at some at some point I'm going to have to test the point I'm going to have to test the point I'm going to have to test the waters a little bit by being vulnerable waters a little bit by being vulnerable waters a little bit by being vulnerable with them but I'm going to take it real with them but I'm going to take it real with them but I'm going to take it real slow with people before and just watch slow with people before and just watch slow with people before and just watch who they are how do they carry who they are how do they carry who they are how do they carry themselves are they gossips are they themselves are they gossips are they themselves are they gossips are they people who hold confidence who serve and people who hold confidence who serve and people who hold confidence who serve and who seek the Lord and so they encourage who seek the Lord and so they encourage who seek the Lord and so they encourage me to seek the Lord and to pursue him me to seek the Lord and to pursue him me to seek the Lord and to pursue him they're going to turn my attention to they're going to turn my attention to they're going to turn my attention to the Lord when I share something those the Lord when I share something those the Lord when I share something those are the people that that I'm I'm looking are the people that that I'm I'm looking are the people that that I'm I'm looking for um and and I want to be wise in what for um and and I want to be wise in what for um and and I want to be wise in what I share when I do share so sometimes you I share when I do share so sometimes you I share when I do share so sometimes you know I have really good friends within know I have really good friends within know I have really good friends within the church but I don't there's certain the church but I don't there's certain the church but I don't there's certain things that would not be helpful for me things that would not be helpful for me things that would not be helpful for me to share with them I because it would be to share with them I because it would be to share with them I because it would be dishonoring to my husband it might be dishonoring to my husband it might be dishonoring to my husband it might be dishonoring to someone else in our dishonoring to someone else in our dishonoring to someone else in our church it's just not something that I church it's just not something that I church it's just not something that I can share the details of but I can still can share the details of but I can still can share the details of but I can still share about those things generally about share about those things generally about share about those things generally about the way that what I'm experiencing if the way that what I'm experiencing if the way that what I'm experiencing if I'm feeling I'm feeling I'm feeling discouraged if I'm feeling overwhelmed

discouraged if I'm feeling overwhelmed discouraged if I'm feeling overwhelmed because of a certain situation I don't because of a certain situation I don't because of a certain situation I don't have to tell about the situation but I have to tell about the situation but I have to tell about the situation but I can tell about how I'm feeling what I can tell about how I'm feeling what I can tell about how I'm feeling what I need prayer for and a wise friend and need prayer for and a wise friend and need prayer for and a wise friend and someone if we've chosen wisely they're someone if we've chosen wisely they're someone if we've chosen wisely they're not going to press for the details not going to press for the details not going to press for the details they're not going to press for more than they're not going to press for more than they're not going to press for more than they than they need to they than they need to they than they need to know um this the another thing that's know um this the another thing that's know um this the another thing that's helped me is I want to be this kind of helped me is I want to be this kind of helped me is I want to be this kind of friend I want to be trustworthy that I friend I want to be trustworthy that I friend I want to be trustworthy that I keep confidences that that I I push keep confidences that that I I push keep confidences that that I I push those women to seek the Lord just as I those women to seek the Lord just as I those women to seek the Lord just as I am hoping that they will do um and I am hoping that they will do um and I am hoping that they will do um and I think for the deepest struggles you know think for the deepest struggles you know think for the deepest struggles you know when you go through seasons of ministry when you go through seasons of ministry when you go through seasons of ministry where you were just like I am I am where you were just like I am I am where you were just like I am I am really struggling let's say with really struggling let's say with really struggling let's say with criticism of our husband something like criticism of our husband something like criticism of our husband something like that where we can't share that with our that where we can't share that with our that where we can't share that with our friends in the church I I always go to friends in the church I I always go to friends in the church I I always go to people outside of my church I have people outside of my church I have people outside of my church I have friends outside of my church who are friends outside of my church who are friends outside of my church who are pastor's wives who understand and I can pastor's wives who understand and I can pastor's wives who understand and I can call and tell them and they don't know call and tell them and they don't know call and tell them and they don't know the people and so I can share more the people and so I can share more the people and so I can share more openly with them I think it's good to openly with them I think it's good to openly with them I think it's good to have those friends as well that we're have those friends as well that we're have those friends as well that we're cultivating and then finally I think cultivating and then finally I think cultivating and then finally I think what's helped me is to not use the term what's helped me is to not use the term what's helped me is to not use the term friend friend friend Loosely sometimes we can call people Loosely sometimes we can call people Loosely sometimes we can call people friends or say hey friends hey you know friends or say hey friends hey you know friends or say hey friends hey you know that's telling people something and so I that's telling people something and so I that's telling people something and so I want to use that word really really want to use that word really really want to use that word really really carefully and and in fact I think carefully and and in fact I think carefully and and in fact I think sometimes the women who we most need and sometimes the women who we most need and sometimes the women who we most need and and who are valuable friends to us and who are valuable friends to us and who are valuable friends to us they're people who tend to give us a they're people who tend to give us a they're people who tend to give us a little space they see what it means to little space they see what it means to little space they see what it means to be a pastor's wife a little bit and they be a pastor's wife a little bit and they be a pastor's wife a little bit and they they don't want to intrude and they they don't want to intrude and they they don't want to intrude and they don't want to take up too much of our

don't want to take up too much of our don't want to take up too much of our time and so it's helpful for I found to time and so it's helpful for I found to time and so it's helpful for I found to go to them and say I think of you as a go to them and say I think of you as a go to them and say I think of you as a friend you are my friend and just kind friend you are my friend and just kind friend you are my friend and just kind of label it so that they know how I feel of label it so that they know how I feel of label it so that they know how I feel about them so those are things that have about them so those are things that have about them so those are things that have helped me so wise and one of those helped me so wise and one of those helped me so wise and one of those sensitive topics that can sometimes be sensitive topics that can sometimes be sensitive topics that can sometimes be hard hard hard is our is our is our marriages Christie you have been married marriages Christie you have been married marriages Christie you have been married to a pastor for over 32 years praise the to a pastor for over 32 years praise the to a pastor for over 32 years praise the Lord for that and having our marriage on Lord for that and having our marriage on Lord for that and having our marriage on display in the church isn't always easy display in the church isn't always easy display in the church isn't always easy so what wisdom what encouragement would so what wisdom what encouragement would so what wisdom what encouragement would you give to the ministry wife who is in you give to the ministry wife who is in you give to the ministry wife who is in a hard season of a hard season of a hard season of marriage yeah I think uh first of all I marriage yeah I think uh first of all I marriage yeah I think uh first of all I want to I love my husband he's so cute want to I love my husband he's so cute want to I love my husband he's so cute and I just got to say 30 something years and I just got to say 30 something years and I just got to say 30 something years I forget how many years until he reminds I forget how many years until he reminds I forget how many years until he reminds me but I know it's over 30 and um we me but I know it's over 30 and um we me but I know it's over 30 and um we like to still be consider ourselves like to still be consider ourselves like to still be consider ourselves Newly Weds he's so cute anyways um to Newly Weds he's so cute anyways um to Newly Weds he's so cute anyways um to the topic I think first I want to the topic I think first I want to the topic I think first I want to challenge a little bit the mindset of challenge a little bit the mindset of challenge a little bit the mindset of having our marriages on display and I having our marriages on display and I having our marriages on display and I want to challenge it from the standpoint want to challenge it from the standpoint want to challenge it from the standpoint of if you are feeling like your marriage of if you are feeling like your marriage of if you are feeling like your marriage is on display I think I would encourage is on display I think I would encourage is on display I think I would encourage you to explore why you feel that way you to explore why you feel that way you to explore why you feel that way okay um are you feeling like your okay um are you feeling like your okay um are you feeling like your marriage is on display because you have marriage is on display because you have marriage is on display because you have some sort of um like you're trying to some sort of um like you're trying to some sort of um like you're trying to live up to some perceived or even real

live up to some perceived or even real live up to some perceived or even real expectation that you feel like you're expectation that you feel like you're expectation that you feel like you're supposed to live up to so supposed to live up to so supposed to live up to so I want to be a regular old Christian in I want to be a regular old Christian in I want to be a regular old Christian in the Pew and I know there are some ways the Pew and I know there are some ways the Pew and I know there are some ways that I can't be that but there are a ton that I can't be that but there are a ton that I can't be that but there are a ton of ways that I can and so um one of the of ways that I can and so um one of the of ways that I can and so um one of the ways that I practice um not having my ways that I practice um not having my ways that I practice um not having my marriage perceived to be on display is marriage perceived to be on display is marriage perceived to be on display is that I practice some of the things that that I practice some of the things that that I practice some of the things that Christine was just saying you know I I Christine was just saying you know I I Christine was just saying you know I I disciple my friendship so I'm the other disciple my friendship so I'm the other disciple my friendship so I'm the other way I'm like you're a friend you're a way I'm like you're a friend you're a way I'm like you're a friend you're a friend everybody's a friend everybody's a friend everybody's a friend um but I also we spend a lot of friend um but I also we spend a lot of friend um but I also we spend a lot of time kind of discipling people into the time kind of discipling people into the time kind of discipling people into the kind of friendships that we need right kind of friendships that we need right kind of friendships that we need right and so if you come across someone sort and so if you come across someone sort and so if you come across someone sort of like you know Christine who's like of like you know Christine who's like of like you know Christine who's like you tell them something and they kind of you tell them something and they kind of you tell them something and they kind of like deing the headlights and I like oh like deing the headlights and I like oh like deing the headlights and I like oh dang you're dang you're dang you're human um then I think you can invite human um then I think you can invite human um then I think you can invite them in and say what I need from you them in and say what I need from you them in and say what I need from you right now is or I need a friend who can right now is or I need a friend who can right now is or I need a friend who can or I'm looking for someone who will and or I'm looking for someone who will and or I'm looking for someone who will and and so in that way you're kind of and so in that way you're kind of and so in that way you're kind of discipling people into the kind of discipling people into the kind of discipling people into the kind of relationship that you need and I would relationship that you need and I would relationship that you need and I would also say just echoing what you were also say just echoing what you were also say just echoing what you were talking about in regards to being talking about in regards to being talking about in regards to being Discerning about who you share certain Discerning about who you share certain Discerning about who you share certain things with but I will say that as things with but I will say that as things with but I will say that as you're Discerning you also want to be you're Discerning you also want to be you're Discerning you also want to be authentic um we're well well familiar

authentic um we're well well familiar authentic um we're well well familiar you know very familiar with um many you know very familiar with um many you know very familiar with um many pastoral families uh that are struggling pastoral families uh that are struggling pastoral families uh that are struggling in a lot of ways uh and women who feel in a lot of ways uh and women who feel in a lot of ways uh and women who feel silenced or that they don't have an silenced or that they don't have an silenced or that they don't have an outlet whether you know it's a sin issue outlet whether you know it's a sin issue outlet whether you know it's a sin issue or if it's a personal issue or a or if it's a personal issue or a or if it's a personal issue or a physical issue or whatever it is um I physical issue or whatever it is um I physical issue or whatever it is um I think we need to find a way to have a think we need to find a way to have a think we need to find a way to have a voice about the things that are voice about the things that are voice about the things that are difficult in our marriages and so yes if difficult in our marriages and so yes if difficult in our marriages and so yes if you have someone that you can go to you have someone that you can go to you have someone that you can go to outside of the church great I just kind outside of the church great I just kind outside of the church great I just kind of use a little a grid for that um of use a little a grid for that um of use a little a grid for that um myself so uh we encourage the elders in myself so uh we encourage the elders in myself so uh we encourage the elders in our church or we en encourage the elders our church or we en encourage the elders our church or we en encourage the elders wives in our churches any Arc Pastor wives in our churches any Arc Pastor wives in our churches any Arc Pastor wives in here yes okay we encourage the wives in here yes okay we encourage the wives in here yes okay we encourage the Elder wives in our church to tell on Elder wives in our church to tell on Elder wives in our church to tell on their husbands so um and I'll give an their husbands so um and I'll give an their husbands so um and I'll give an example I'mma call them out Pastor D example I'mma call them out Pastor D example I'mma call them out Pastor D he's a he's a he's a workaholic and he is so passionate about workaholic and he is so passionate about workaholic and he is so passionate about very many things in regards to Ministry very many things in regards to Ministry very many things in regards to Ministry but he has a hard time resting and but he has a hard time resting and but he has a hard time resting and taking and it affects his health taking and it affects his health taking and it affects his health sometimes and so his wife um sister Tara sometimes and so his wife um sister Tara sometimes and so his wife um sister Tara she will come up say Pastor T you need she will come up say Pastor T you need she will come up say Pastor T you need to talk to you need to talk to Pastor D to talk to you need to talk to Pastor D to talk to you need to talk to Pastor D like he you know he's not ready resting like he you know he's not ready resting like he you know he's not ready resting he's overworking he needs a break and he's overworking he needs a break and he's overworking he needs a break and then my husband will step in as a as a then my husband will step in as a as a then my husband will step in as a as a friend as a fellow Elder um as a friend as a fellow Elder um as a friend as a fellow Elder um as a Ministry partner and encourage him to Ministry partner and encourage him to Ministry partner and encourage him to get the rest that he needs so I think um get the rest that he needs so I think um get the rest that he needs so I think um there's a lot of discipleship that can there's a lot of discipleship that can there's a lot of discipleship that can be done in regards to um when we're

be done in regards to um when we're be done in regards to um when we're having difficulties in our having difficulties in our having difficulties in our marriages um and so what I want to say marriages um and so what I want to say marriages um and so what I want to say in terms of action steps like what do we in terms of action steps like what do we in terms of action steps like what do we do what what can we do when we're you do what what can we do when we're you do what what can we do when we're you know things aren't going well at home know things aren't going well at home know things aren't going well at home one go to Jesus go to Jesus in prayer go one go to Jesus go to Jesus in prayer go one go to Jesus go to Jesus in prayer go to Jesus in Reliance on the Holy Spirit to Jesus in Reliance on the Holy Spirit to Jesus in Reliance on the Holy Spirit ask him for help make him first in in ask him for help make him first in in ask him for help make him first in in your day and throughout your day um and your day and throughout your day um and your day and throughout your day um and just really you know as the addage goes just really you know as the addage goes just really you know as the addage goes take it to the Lord in prayer and then I take it to the Lord in prayer and then I take it to the Lord in prayer and then I would say um go to Jesus but also go to would say um go to Jesus but also go to would say um go to Jesus but also go to community for accountability for prayer community for accountability for prayer community for accountability for prayer for support if you don't have that for support if you don't have that for support if you don't have that Community again I would say disciple Community again I would say disciple Community again I would say disciple your way into it you know let people your way into it you know let people your way into it you know let people know what you need and what you're know what you need and what you're know what you need and what you're looking for um and if you're not looking for um and if you're not looking for um and if you're not currently in a difficult season I would currently in a difficult season I would currently in a difficult season I would say start building the scaffolding for say start building the scaffolding for say start building the scaffolding for support that you will need at a later support that you will need at a later support that you will need at a later time right so be authentic be be time right so be authentic be be time right so be authentic be be Discerning but start building that Discerning but start building that Discerning but start building that scaffolding now and then of course go to scaffolding now and then of course go to scaffolding now and then of course go to your husband you know talk and pray your husband you know talk and pray your husband you know talk and pray through whatever the difficulty is if through whatever the difficulty is if through whatever the difficulty is if he's not willing or able to hear or he's not willing or able to hear or he's not willing or able to hear or listen bring in another Elder as I just listen bring in another Elder as I just listen bring in another Elder as I just said or leader in the church who can said or leader in the church who can said or leader in the church who can support you um um and then I would say support you um um and then I would say support you um um and then I would say go to Jesus go to your community um go go to Jesus go to your community um go go to Jesus go to your community um go to your husband and then go within to your husband and then go within to your husband and then go within yourself do some self-reflection on the yourself do some self-reflection on the yourself do some self-reflection on the source of the difficulty is it stress is source of the difficulty is it stress is source of the difficulty is it stress is it the need for a break is it a sin

it the need for a break is it a sin it the need for a break is it a sin issue is it hormones amen um so there issue is it hormones amen um so there issue is it hormones amen um so there are all kinds is it with your children are all kinds is it with your children are all kinds is it with your children or you know extended family care and or you know extended family care and or you know extended family care and those kinds of things like really look those kinds of things like really look those kinds of things like really look within yourself to try to conern the within yourself to try to conern the within yourself to try to conern the source of the difficulty and then that source of the difficulty and then that source of the difficulty and then that will give you a little ballast to know will give you a little ballast to know will give you a little ballast to know where do I need to go to get the help where do I need to go to get the help where do I need to go to get the help that I that I that I need something you said on our front row need something you said on our front row need something you said on our front row seat interview I've not forgotten you seat interview I've not forgotten you seat interview I've not forgotten you said no said no said no secrets no secrets between you and your secrets no secrets between you and your secrets no secrets between you and your husband and I think that is so helpful husband and I think that is so helpful husband and I think that is so helpful such a wonderful guideline to remember such a wonderful guideline to remember such a wonderful guideline to remember and unfortunately we are seeing we have and unfortunately we are seeing we have and unfortunately we are seeing we have seen marriages fall seen marriages fall seen marriages fall apart and another encouragement along apart and another encouragement along apart and another encouragement along those lines is if we walk in the light those lines is if we walk in the light those lines is if we walk in the light as he is in the light we have fellowship as he is in the light we have fellowship as he is in the light we have fellowship with each with each with each other don't be ashamed to come into the other don't be ashamed to come into the other don't be ashamed to come into the light sooner rather than light sooner rather than light sooner rather than later because you might be a little bit later because you might be a little bit later because you might be a little bit embarrassed and there might be a little embarrassed and there might be a little embarrassed and there might be a little bit of hurt but there will be a lot of bit of hurt but there will be a lot of bit of hurt but there will be a lot of embarrassment and a lot of hurt if you embarrassment and a lot of hurt if you embarrassment and a lot of hurt if you don't do that soon so walk in the light don't do that soon so walk in the light don't do that soon so walk in the light because Jesus is because Jesus is because Jesus is faithful well Glenna speaking of kids faithful well Glenna speaking of kids faithful well Glenna speaking of kids let's talk about PKS pastor's kids at let's talk about PKS pastor's kids at let's talk about PKS pastor's kids at some point our kids will hear something some point our kids will hear something some point our kids will hear something like this message be good behave you're like this message be good behave you're like this message be good behave you're the pastor's kid what do you think of the pastor's kid what do you think of the pastor's kid what do you think of that message and um what do our kids that message and um what do our kids that message and um what do our kids need from us on the home front yeah I

need from us on the home front yeah I need from us on the home front yeah I think the reality is that your church is think the reality is that your church is think the reality is that your church is watching you parent and that's hard but watching you parent and that's hard but watching you parent and that's hard but the other reality is is that if you feel the other reality is is that if you feel the other reality is is that if you feel that your children have pressure on them that your children have pressure on them that your children have pressure on them to behave better than all the other kids to behave better than all the other kids to behave better than all the other kids in the church because they are pastor's in the church because they are pastor's in the church because they are pastor's kids sometimes that pressure comes from kids sometimes that pressure comes from kids sometimes that pressure comes from you and it is projected onto your church you and it is projected onto your church you and it is projected onto your church members I will never forget a difficult members I will never forget a difficult members I will never forget a difficult parenting situation I mean one of my parenting situation I mean one of my parenting situation I mean one of my kids just clocked another kid in the kids just clocked another kid in the kids just clocked another kid in the foyer in front of a lot of people I mean foyer in front of a lot of people I mean foyer in front of a lot of people I mean he was five so I mean it was not like he he was five so I mean it was not like he he was five so I mean it was not like he was 15 but it was incredibly was 15 but it was incredibly was 15 but it was incredibly embarrassing and I knew that in that embarrassing and I knew that in that embarrassing and I knew that in that moment the way that I reacted was going moment the way that I reacted was going moment the way that I reacted was going to influence the way that other people to influence the way that other people to influence the way that other people reacted to my children's disobedience in reacted to my children's disobedience in reacted to my children's disobedience in the church and I really struggled and I the church and I really struggled and I the church and I really struggled and I just assumed that everyone watching and just assumed that everyone watching and just assumed that everyone watching and that every person that goes to my church that every person that goes to my church that every person that goes to my church thinks I'm a a terrible mother who can't thinks I'm a a terrible mother who can't thinks I'm a a terrible mother who can't control her children and B that my kids control her children and B that my kids control her children and B that my kids should be better than they are and I should be better than they are and I should be better than they are and I remember sitting and talking to my remember sitting and talking to my remember sitting and talking to my counselor and yes this is an counselor and yes this is an counselor and yes this is an encouragement that sometimes in Ministry encouragement that sometimes in Ministry encouragement that sometimes in Ministry you need counseling to help you work you need counseling to help you work you need counseling to help you work work through some of these things and work through some of these things and work through some of these things and I'm talking to my counselor and he said I'm talking to my counselor and he said I'm talking to my counselor and he said to me has anyone ever actually said to me has anyone ever actually said to me has anyone ever actually said you're doing a terrible job parenting you're doing a terrible job parenting you're doing a terrible job parenting these preachers these preachers these preachers kids and I was like well no but I know kids and I was like well no but I know kids and I was like well no but I know they're thinking that I know it and he they're thinking that I know it and he they're thinking that I know it and he said Glenna you are presuming ill will said Glenna you are presuming ill will said Glenna you are presuming ill will from your church you are presuming that

from your church you are presuming that from your church you are presuming that they are thinking the worst of you and they are thinking the worst of you and they are thinking the worst of you and that is unkind and I was like wait a that is unkind and I was like wait a that is unkind and I was like wait a minute this wasn't about me this is minute this wasn't about me this is minute this wasn't about me this is about them and but it actually was about about them and but it actually was about about them and but it actually was about me and he told me he gave me some me and he told me he gave me some me and he told me he gave me some fantastic advice he's a Christian and he fantastic advice he's a Christian and he fantastic advice he's a Christian and he encouraged me he said how you respond to encouraged me he said how you respond to encouraged me he said how you respond to your children in a church setting in the your children in a church setting in the your children in a church setting in the way that they behave the way that they way that they behave the way that they way that they behave the way that they live react respond your church is going live react respond your church is going live react respond your church is going to pick up on the way that you respond to pick up on the way that you respond to pick up on the way that you respond and they're going to treat your children and they're going to treat your children and they're going to treat your children the same way so when it comes to one of the same way so when it comes to one of the same way so when it comes to one of these situations where your kid melts these situations where your kid melts these situations where your kid melts down in the middle of the service he down in the middle of the service he down in the middle of the service he said what I want you to do is I want you said what I want you to do is I want you said what I want you to do is I want you to pretend like there is no one in the to pretend like there is no one in the to pretend like there is no one in the room except for you and that child room except for you and that child room except for you and that child you are his mother and it is your job to you are his mother and it is your job to you are his mother and it is your job to disciple him to love Jesus and to want disciple him to love Jesus and to want disciple him to love Jesus and to want to obey all that matters in that moment to obey all that matters in that moment to obey all that matters in that moment is his heart being shaped everybody else is his heart being shaped everybody else is his heart being shaped everybody else in the room does not matter does not in the room does not matter does not in the room does not matter does not matter at all and it should not matter at all and it should not matter at all and it should not influence the way that you parent your influence the way that you parent your influence the way that you parent your children and so that has been a huge children and so that has been a huge children and so that has been a huge shift for me in my parenting and shift for me in my parenting and shift for me in my parenting and literally I mean having a kiddo who's a literally I mean having a kiddo who's a literally I mean having a kiddo who's a little bit hyperactive most much of the little bit hyperactive most much of the little bit hyperactive most much of the time one of my kids we're in that time one of my kids we're in that time one of my kids we're in that situation a lot and I want Church to be situation a lot and I want Church to be situation a lot and I want Church to be a place where he is free to mess up and a place where he is free to mess up and a place where he is free to mess up and and then freely receives forgiveness and and then freely receives forgiveness and and then freely receives forgiveness and restoration because I want my kids to restoration because I want my kids to restoration because I want my kids to love church I don't want them to resent love church I don't want them to resent love church I don't want them to resent the church and so I have noticed that the church and so I have noticed that the church and so I have noticed that the way that I respond to my kids I the way that I respond to my kids I the way that I respond to my kids I watch my church members respond in kind watch my church members respond in kind watch my church members respond in kind and if I am gracious with my children

and if I am gracious with my children and if I am gracious with my children and sometimes there are issues you do and sometimes there are issues you do and sometimes there are issues you do have to address and sometimes you have have to address and sometimes you have have to address and sometimes you have to wait till you get home but the way to wait till you get home but the way to wait till you get home but the way that it it is okay for me to be that it it is okay for me to be that it it is okay for me to be embarrassed you know like my kids embarrassed you know like my kids embarrassed you know like my kids messing up is not a reflection of me as messing up is not a reflection of me as messing up is not a reflection of me as a person and a human like they're little a person and a human like they're little a person and a human like they're little humans and they have got to grow and humans and they have got to grow and humans and they have got to grow and learn just like I do and so I have learn just like I do and so I have learn just like I do and so I have learned from my counselor from talking learned from my counselor from talking learned from my counselor from talking with more experienced moms that I need with more experienced moms that I need with more experienced moms that I need to let my kids mess up I need to extend to let my kids mess up I need to extend to let my kids mess up I need to extend Grace to them and I need to teach them Grace to them and I need to teach them Grace to them and I need to teach them at church is a safe place if church is at church is a safe place if church is at church is a safe place if church is not safe for us to screw up where can we not safe for us to screw up where can we not safe for us to screw up where can we screw up I mean church should be the screw up I mean church should be the screw up I mean church should be the place where we receive Grace and place where we receive Grace and place where we receive Grace and forgiveness and restoration and so I forgiveness and restoration and so I forgiveness and restoration and so I have learned that if I am doing that have learned that if I am doing that have learned that if I am doing that oneon-one with each of my children my oneon-one with each of my children my oneon-one with each of my children my church is watching that and and and they church is watching that and and and they church is watching that and and and they are going to respond and are going to respond and are going to respond and kind that is beautiful I'm taking that kind that is beautiful I'm taking that kind that is beautiful I'm taking that away with me as if no one else is in the away with me as if no one else is in the away with me as if no one else is in the room parent my children like that amen room parent my children like that amen room parent my children like that amen amen well I imagine there are sisters amen well I imagine there are sisters amen well I imagine there are sisters here in this room with us today who are here in this room with us today who are here in this room with us today who are discouraged who are exhausted and maybe discouraged who are exhausted and maybe discouraged who are exhausted and maybe even burnt out when it comes to serving even burnt out when it comes to serving even burnt out when it comes to serving your your your churches Christine maybe the sister has churches Christine maybe the sister has churches Christine maybe the sister has spread herself too thin maybe she's spread herself too thin maybe she's spread herself too thin maybe she's spiritually exhausted what is her hope I mean discouragement is the hope I mean discouragement is the lifelong battle for for those of us in lifelong battle for for those of us in lifelong battle for for those of us in Ministry I believe uh so I I I asked

Ministry I believe uh so I I I asked Ministry I believe uh so I I I asked myself a few questions to help diagnose myself a few questions to help diagnose myself a few questions to help diagnose my discouragement so maybe this will be my discouragement so maybe this will be my discouragement so maybe this will be help f for you as well is just to ask help f for you as well is just to ask help f for you as well is just to ask myself what is actually happening and myself what is actually happening and myself what is actually happening and then two how have I been responding then two how have I been responding then two how have I been responding that's been unhelpful to that and then that's been unhelpful to that and then that's been unhelpful to that and then three what is true and how do I respond three what is true and how do I respond three what is true and how do I respond based upon what's true so the the first based upon what's true so the the first based upon what's true so the the first question what is happening sometimes question what is happening sometimes question what is happening sometimes what is happening is actually what is happening is actually what is happening is actually discouraging there are real things discouraging there are real things discouraging there are real things happening in our ministry that's happening in our ministry that's happening in our ministry that's discouraging a friend walks away from discouraging a friend walks away from discouraging a friend walks away from the faith or maybe some unforeseen the faith or maybe some unforeseen the faith or maybe some unforeseen circumstances have come in and all the circumstances have come in and all the circumstances have come in and all the good plans that you and your husband good plans that you and your husband good plans that you and your husband have for your church have had to be put have for your church have had to be put have for your church have had to be put on the back burner uh things like that on the back burner uh things like that on the back burner uh things like that are actually discouraging and so um I'll are actually discouraging and so um I'll are actually discouraging and so um I'll talk in a minute about responding to talk in a minute about responding to talk in a minute about responding to that but then sometimes when I ask that but then sometimes when I ask that but then sometimes when I ask myself what is happening I realize that myself what is happening I realize that myself what is happening I realize that I'm discouraged because of of some I'm discouraged because of of some I'm discouraged because of of some things going on in my own heart things things going on in my own heart things things going on in my own heart things like I'm looking for appreciation and like I'm looking for appreciation and like I'm looking for appreciation and I'm not getting it uh I'm looking for a I'm not getting it uh I'm looking for a I'm not getting it uh I'm looking for a little self- Glory here and why is Lord little self- Glory here and why is Lord little self- Glory here and why is Lord preventing that um uh sometimes it's preventing that um uh sometimes it's preventing that um uh sometimes it's uh just that I I'm comparing myself to uh just that I I'm comparing myself to uh just that I I'm comparing myself to another pastor's wife down the street or another pastor's wife down the street or another pastor's wife down the street or a church I'm comparing my church to a a church I'm comparing my church to a a church I'm comparing my church to a church down the street and I I I I feel church down the street and I I I I feel church down the street and I I I I feel envious of their situation and so these envious of their situation and so these envious of their situation and so these kinds of things can when I ask myself kinds of things can when I ask myself kinds of things can when I ask myself what is actually discouraging me those what is actually discouraging me those what is actually discouraging me those things can come to the surface and I

things can come to the surface and I things can come to the surface and I recognize that I'm actually contributing recognize that I'm actually contributing recognize that I'm actually contributing to my own discouragement in some ways to my own discouragement in some ways to my own discouragement in some ways what I'm doing is I'm I'm looking for what I'm doing is I'm I'm looking for what I'm doing is I'm I'm looking for some sort of validation some sort of uh some sort of validation some sort of uh some sort of validation some sort of uh appreciation some sort of appreciation some sort of appreciation some sort of outcome that has not come and so when I outcome that has not come and so when I outcome that has not come and so when I recognize that let's say the first recognize that let's say the first recognize that let's say the first situation it's actually situation it's actually situation it's actually discouraging am I allowing myself space discouraging am I allowing myself space discouraging am I allowing myself space and margin to actually lament that thing and margin to actually lament that thing and margin to actually lament that thing before the Lord a lot of times what I do before the Lord a lot of times what I do before the Lord a lot of times what I do in Ministry is I just keep running full in Ministry is I just keep running full in Ministry is I just keep running full speed and I just like okay eventually speed and I just like okay eventually speed and I just like okay eventually that well I'll forget about that or I'll that well I'll forget about that or I'll that well I'll forget about that or I'll feel better if I can feel better if I can feel better if I can outrun outrun outrun outpace the outpace the outpace the discouragement that's not helpful in the discouragement that's not helpful in the discouragement that's not helpful in the long run and so making margin and space long run and so making margin and space long run and so making margin and space for me to lament before God this is for me to lament before God this is for me to lament before God this is actually very painful and I need your actually very painful and I need your actually very painful and I need your comfort and I need your help I need you comfort and I need your help I need you comfort and I need your help I need you to act for me in certain ways according to act for me in certain ways according to act for me in certain ways according to your character but if it's something to your character but if it's something to your character but if it's something about myself and my own heart I I need about myself and my own heart I I need about myself and my own heart I I need to I need to look at what I'm doing to I need to look at what I'm doing to I need to look at what I'm doing that's contributing to to where I've that's contributing to to where I've that's contributing to to where I've gotten and so Kristen mentioned burnout gotten and so Kristen mentioned burnout gotten and so Kristen mentioned burnout you might I've been there and when I and you might I've been there and when I and you might I've been there and when I and when I look at how I've been responding when I look at how I've been responding when I look at how I've been responding that has been unhelpful and contributed that has been unhelpful and contributed that has been unhelpful and contributed to my own burnout it's because I've been to my own burnout it's because I've been to my own burnout it's because I've been running myself ragged trying to please running myself ragged trying to please running myself ragged trying to please people and to keep them in the people and to keep them in the people and to keep them in the church they won't leave if I do all church they won't leave if I do all church they won't leave if I do all these things uh for them and I do it these things uh for them and I do it these things uh for them and I do it right and I do it well and so I'm right and I do it well and so I'm right and I do it well and so I'm running myself ragged trying to avoid

running myself ragged trying to avoid running myself ragged trying to avoid criticism avoid disappointment and I've criticism avoid disappointment and I've criticism avoid disappointment and I've gotten myself into into my own gotten myself into into my own gotten myself into into my own discouragement because I can't say discouragement because I can't say discouragement because I can't say no uh and so instead I'm saying no to no uh and so instead I'm saying no to no uh and so instead I'm saying no to the gifts that God has given me like the gifts that God has given me like the gifts that God has given me like Sabbath and rest and community and Sabbath and rest and community and Sabbath and rest and community and friendship and exercise and those kinds friendship and exercise and those kinds friendship and exercise and those kinds of things I say no to those things so of things I say no to those things so of things I say no to those things so that I can please please people and so that I can please please people and so that I can please please people and so when I recognize that I need to confess when I recognize that I need to confess when I recognize that I need to confess and I need to repent that I have been I and I need to repent that I have been I and I need to repent that I have been I have been doing what is actually have been doing what is actually have been doing what is actually unhelpful and is actually idolatry unhelpful and is actually idolatry unhelpful and is actually idolatry um and so if you are that discouraged um and so if you are that discouraged um and so if you are that discouraged and burnt out pastor's wife you can use and burnt out pastor's wife you can use and burnt out pastor's wife you can use those questions that that I gave you but those questions that that I gave you but those questions that that I gave you but I would tell you to return to the I would tell you to return to the I would tell you to return to the foundational truth of ministry it only foundational truth of ministry it only foundational truth of ministry it only matters what God requires of you and matters what God requires of you and matters what God requires of you and what does god require of you he requires what does god require of you he requires what does god require of you he requires your faith and he requires your your faith and he requires your your faith and he requires your obedience not obedience to what other obedience not obedience to what other obedience not obedience to what other people expect of you or even what you people expect of you or even what you people expect of you or even what you expect of yourself sometimes I'm the expect of yourself sometimes I'm the expect of yourself sometimes I'm the worst critic of myself but it matters worst critic of myself but it matters worst critic of myself but it matters that the god what he requires of me is that the god what he requires of me is that the god what he requires of me is Faith and obedience to him and to go Faith and obedience to him and to go Faith and obedience to him and to go back to that foundational truth always back to that foundational truth always back to that foundational truth always always it brings me back it helps me to always it brings me back it helps me to always it brings me back it helps me to see where I'm not doing that and it see where I'm not doing that and it see where I'm not doing that and it helps me to remember there's freedom in helps me to remember there's freedom in helps me to remember there's freedom in serving the lord there's freedom to to serving the lord there's freedom to to serving the lord there's freedom to to be a Christian and just to to live for be a Christian and just to to live for be a Christian and just to to live for him and so one of the things that has him and so one of the things that has him and so one of the things that has been hard for me is to learn the

been hard for me is to learn the been hard for me is to learn the language of saying no I don't know if language of saying no I don't know if language of saying no I don't know if anybody else struggles with that but I anybody else struggles with that but I anybody else struggles with that but I remember I mean this I'm like somebody remember I mean this I'm like somebody remember I mean this I'm like somebody tell me how do I say no how do I say no tell me how do I say no how do I say no tell me how do I say no how do I say no and how do I do it well am I even and how do I do it well am I even and how do I do it well am I even allowed to say no as a pastor's wife the allowed to say no as a pastor's wife the allowed to say no as a pastor's wife the answer is yes you are allowed to say no answer is yes you are allowed to say no answer is yes you are allowed to say no Jesus said no Jesus didn't you know he Jesus said no Jesus didn't you know he Jesus said no Jesus didn't you know he didn't heal every person he came across didn't heal every person he came across didn't heal every person he came across he took time to be with the father and he took time to be with the father and he took time to be with the father and so he did have to to set some parameters so he did have to to set some parameters so he did have to to set some parameters so I've had to learn to say no and when so I've had to learn to say no and when so I've had to learn to say no and when I started Ed to say no it was so I started Ed to say no it was so I started Ed to say no it was so uncomfortable to me because I knew I was uncomfortable to me because I knew I was uncomfortable to me because I knew I was disappointing people and I did not like disappointing people and I did not like disappointing people and I did not like that feeling but the more that you say that feeling but the more that you say that feeling but the more that you say no the more that it becomes something no the more that it becomes something no the more that it becomes something that is not difficult it doesn't hit you that is not difficult it doesn't hit you that is not difficult it doesn't hit you with discomfort and so I've learned to with discomfort and so I've learned to with discomfort and so I've learned to just say first of all to take time just say first of all to take time just say first of all to take time before I say anything to anybody I before I say anything to anybody I before I say anything to anybody I answer anybody if they ask me in person answer anybody if they ask me in person answer anybody if they ask me in person on church I say let me let me take some on church I say let me let me take some on church I say let me let me take some time I'll I'll get back to you this week time I'll I'll get back to you this week time I'll I'll get back to you this week or you email me and sometimes they don't or you email me and sometimes they don't or you email me and sometimes they don't even follow up and and then it's like even follow up and and then it's like even follow up and and then it's like okay that's the answer but email me this okay that's the answer but email me this okay that's the answer but email me this week and and let me look at my calendar week and and let me look at my calendar week and and let me look at my calendar it gives me space because my instinct is it gives me space because my instinct is it gives me space because my instinct is say yes it gives me space to prayerfully say yes it gives me space to prayerfully say yes it gives me space to prayerfully consider is this what the Lord wants me consider is this what the Lord wants me consider is this what the Lord wants me to do and if he says no I have to say no to do and if he says no I have to say no to do and if he says no I have to say no and to say a gracious no thank you so and to say a gracious no thank you so and to say a gracious no thank you so much for that invitation that you you much for that invitation that you you much for that invitation that you you offered me I feel so honored that you offered me I feel so honored that you offered me I feel so honored that you asked me that unfortunately my schedule asked me that unfortunately my schedule asked me that unfortunately my schedule doesn't allow me to do that right now

doesn't allow me to do that right now doesn't allow me to do that right now but let me introduce you to someone but let me introduce you to someone but let me introduce you to someone who's passionate about that Ministry or who's passionate about that Ministry or who's passionate about that Ministry or who I think you would really connect who I think you would really connect who I think you would really connect with so there's a little language for with so there's a little language for with so there's a little language for you I have a whole chapter on saying no you I have a whole chapter on saying no you I have a whole chapter on saying no in my book how to thrive as a pastor's in my book how to thrive as a pastor's in my book how to thrive as a pastor's life because I needed somebody to write life because I needed somebody to write life because I needed somebody to write it out for me so I wrote it out for for it out for me so I wrote it out for for it out for me so I wrote it out for for you based on what I've learned yes and you based on what I've learned yes and you based on what I've learned yes and it's so good I learned so much from that it's so good I learned so much from that it's so good I learned so much from that chapter I'm a yes woman as well and you chapter I'm a yes woman as well and you chapter I'm a yes woman as well and you have taught me how to say no very very have taught me how to say no very very have taught me how to say no very very wise um Christie let's talk about the wise um Christie let's talk about the wise um Christie let's talk about the Sabbath a little bit because Sundays Sabbath a little bit because Sundays Sabbath a little bit because Sundays look different for us than they do for look different for us than they do for look different for us than they do for everyone else um but this is a day of everyone else um but this is a day of everyone else um but this is a day of worship alongside God's people it's a worship alongside God's people it's a worship alongside God's people it's a day set apart from the other six and um day set apart from the other six and um day set apart from the other six and um but sometimes it can become a bit of a but sometimes it can become a bit of a but sometimes it can become a bit of a rat race and sometimes it can feel like rat race and sometimes it can feel like rat race and sometimes it can feel like a disappointment can you talk to us a a disappointment can you talk to us a a disappointment can you talk to us a little bit about seeking rest when the little bit about seeking rest when the little bit about seeking rest when the Sabbath feels like a work Sabbath feels like a work Sabbath feels like a work day yes so I'm going to talk about it in day yes so I'm going to talk about it in day yes so I'm going to talk about it in a couple different ways um and what the a couple different ways um and what the a couple different ways um and what the first thing I want to say the main thing first thing I want to say the main thing first thing I want to say the main thing I want to say is that that Sabbath is I want to say is that that Sabbath is I want to say is that that Sabbath is not an action verb but a state of being not an action verb but a state of being not an action verb but a state of being verb right verb right verb right so Sabbath is not an action it's not so Sabbath is not an action it's not so Sabbath is not an action it's not something we do it's who we are and I something we do it's who we are and I something we do it's who we are and I get that from Jesus's teaching right get that from Jesus's teaching right get that from Jesus's teaching right when he's interpreting the Sabbath um he when he's interpreting the Sabbath um he when he's interpreting the Sabbath um he and and he's teaching in the synagogue and and he's teaching in the synagogue and and he's teaching in the synagogue and he's saying hey um listen the and he's saying hey um listen the and he's saying hey um listen the disciple and people were upset because disciple and people were upset because disciple and people were upset because the disciples were trapped in and doing

the disciples were trapped in and doing the disciples were trapped in and doing all this stuff on the Sabbath and they all this stuff on the Sabbath and they all this stuff on the Sabbath and they were like bro you breaking the law and were like bro you breaking the law and were like bro you breaking the law and Jesus was like bro um I have a 17year Jesus was like bro um I have a 17year Jesus was like bro um I have a 17year old so bruh is going to come out a old so bruh is going to come out a old so bruh is going to come out a lot anybody got teenagers are you bruh lot anybody got teenagers are you bruh lot anybody got teenagers are you bruh now you know ma mama ma bruh okay so now you know ma mama ma bruh okay so now you know ma mama ma bruh okay so that's going to come out a lot but Jesus that's going to come out a lot but Jesus that's going to come out a lot but Jesus is interpreting the Sabbath and he says is interpreting the Sabbath and he says is interpreting the Sabbath and he says uh when the Pharisees confront him he uh when the Pharisees confront him he uh when the Pharisees confront him he says um David broke the law right and says um David broke the law right and says um David broke the law right and and he said also the priest when they're and he said also the priest when they're and he said also the priest when they're making the offerings and everything in making the offerings and everything in making the offerings and everything in the temple like they're you know doing the temple like they're you know doing the temple like they're you know doing that on the Sabbath and then um the pre that on the Sabbath and then um the pre that on the Sabbath and then um the pre he so the priest break the Sabbath David he so the priest break the Sabbath David he so the priest break the Sabbath David broke the Sabbath he's like if you have broke the Sabbath he's like if you have broke the Sabbath he's like if you have a person in need or an animal that you a person in need or an animal that you a person in need or an animal that you need to save more than likely you're not need to save more than likely you're not need to save more than likely you're not going to let a person suffer or animal going to let a person suffer or animal going to let a person suffer or animal suffer you're going to help them um and suffer you're going to help them um and suffer you're going to help them um and that would also be quote breaking the that would also be quote breaking the that would also be quote breaking the law people do good deeds on the Sabbath law people do good deeds on the Sabbath law people do good deeds on the Sabbath and so Jesus says to them what he says and so Jesus says to them what he says and so Jesus says to them what he says Sabbath was made for man and not man for Sabbath was made for man and not man for Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath meaning the Sabbath was the Sabbath meaning the Sabbath was the Sabbath meaning the Sabbath was meant to be a blessing for Humanity not meant to be a blessing for Humanity not meant to be a blessing for Humanity not like a a a harsh Taskmaster ruling over like a a a harsh Taskmaster ruling over like a a a harsh Taskmaster ruling over us and then we jump over to the writer us and then we jump over to the writer us and then we jump over to the writer of Hebrews uh the writer of Hebrews of Hebrews uh the writer of Hebrews of Hebrews uh the writer of Hebrews explains that the Sabbath rest comes explains that the Sabbath rest comes explains that the Sabbath rest comes when someone hears the word and they when someone hears the word and they when someone hears the word and they don't Harden their hearts right and don't Harden their hearts right and don't Harden their hearts right and there he's talking about when the

there he's talking about when the there he's talking about when the Israelites hardened their hearts in Israelites hardened their hearts in Israelites hardened their hearts in Rebellion they had to wander in the Rebellion they had to wander in the Rebellion they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years and so they wilderness for 40 years and so they wilderness for 40 years and so they didn't get to experience the rest of God didn't get to experience the rest of God didn't get to experience the rest of God because of their unbelief and so at the because of their unbelief and so at the because of their unbelief and so at the end of the day whether it's on a Sunday end of the day whether it's on a Sunday end of the day whether it's on a Sunday or whether it's on some other day of the or whether it's on some other day of the or whether it's on some other day of the week Jesus is reminding us and the week Jesus is reminding us and the week Jesus is reminding us and the writer of Hebrews is reminding us that writer of Hebrews is reminding us that writer of Hebrews is reminding us that Sabbath rest is really belief in the Sabbath rest is really belief in the Sabbath rest is really belief in the promises of God and living within the promises of God and living within the promises of God and living within the promises of of God and so we can rest in promises of of God and so we can rest in promises of of God and so we can rest in Christ even if we don't get physical Christ even if we don't get physical Christ even if we don't get physical rest we want physical rest and we need rest we want physical rest and we need rest we want physical rest and we need it but I want to set this tone by saying it but I want to set this tone by saying it but I want to set this tone by saying when we enter the rest that comes when we enter the rest that comes when we enter the rest that comes through the gospel then we can stop our through the gospel then we can stop our through the gospel then we can stop our striving um and we can rely on the striving um and we can rely on the striving um and we can rely on the strength that the Lord provides and strength that the Lord provides and strength that the Lord provides and doing all things well in the power of doing all things well in the power of doing all things well in the power of the Holy Spirit um and so I want to set the Holy Spirit um and so I want to set the Holy Spirit um and so I want to set the tone in that way like think of the tone in that way like think of the tone in that way like think of Sabbath as um who we are we are people Sabbath as um who we are we are people Sabbath as um who we are we are people who are resting in the Sabbath as we who are resting in the Sabbath as we who are resting in the Sabbath as we wait the final Sabbath and I think that wait the final Sabbath and I think that wait the final Sabbath and I think that that might reorient how we think about that might reorient how we think about that might reorient how we think about um the Sunday routine and the things um the Sunday routine and the things um the Sunday routine and the things that we have going on um that require a that we have going on um that require a that we have going on um that require a different type of Sabbath rest a type of different type of Sabbath rest a type of different type of Sabbath rest a type of Sabbath rest where we do set aside that Sabbath rest where we do set aside that Sabbath rest where we do set aside that one day at least in the week where we one day at least in the week where we one day at least in the week where we can rest from our work just as Jesus I can rest from our work just as Jesus I can rest from our work just as Jesus I mean just as God rested um after he mean just as God rested um after he mean just as God rested um after he created the cosmos and all that's in it

created the cosmos and all that's in it created the cosmos and all that's in it he rested right and so I think one of he rested right and so I think one of he rested right and so I think one of the things that I think about just as I the things that I think about just as I the things that I think about just as I talked about discipling people into um talked about discipling people into um talked about discipling people into um the kinds of relationships that feel the kinds of relationships that feel the kinds of relationships that feel safe for you to share difficult things I safe for you to share difficult things I safe for you to share difficult things I think there's an aspect of think there's an aspect of think there's an aspect of discipling people into the rest that you discipling people into the rest that you discipling people into the rest that you need as a Ministry family so anybody in need as a Ministry family so anybody in need as a Ministry family so anybody in Arc can tell you after Sunday service Arc can tell you after Sunday service Arc can tell you after Sunday service and after my husband has greeted all the and after my husband has greeted all the and after my husband has greeted all the people and after he has had his lunch people and after he has had his lunch people and after he has had his lunch Pastor's going to take a nap that's it Pastor's going to take a nap that's it Pastor's going to take a nap that's it don't bother him between one and three don't bother him between one and three don't bother him between one and three or whatever those hours are you know or whatever those hours are you know or whatever those hours are you know he's taking a nap he need he requires a he's taking a nap he need he requires a he's taking a nap he need he requires a lot of rest more than I do and so but lot of rest more than I do and so but lot of rest more than I do and so but that's something that we've had to help that's something that we've had to help that's something that we've had to help our church members grow to understand our church members grow to understand our church members grow to understand that it's not selfish for him to pour that it's not selfish for him to pour that it's not selfish for him to pour himself out 6 and 1/2 days a week and himself out 6 and 1/2 days a week and himself out 6 and 1/2 days a week and then require a time of just refreshment then require a time of just refreshment then require a time of just refreshment and rest and so um I think there's a and rest and so um I think there's a and rest and so um I think there's a discipleship that can take place there discipleship that can take place there discipleship that can take place there and so part of that is setting and and so part of that is setting and and so part of that is setting and protecting the boundaries that you need protecting the boundaries that you need protecting the boundaries that you need as a family and bringing your community as a family and bringing your community as a family and bringing your community along with you um and along with you um and along with you um and so just who was just talking about oh so just who was just talking about oh so just who was just talking about oh Glenna was talking about the perceptions Glenna was talking about the perceptions Glenna was talking about the perceptions that we we think people have of us so I that we we think people have of us so I that we we think people have of us so I think another perception thing is think another perception thing is think another perception thing is sometimes we think that people think sometimes we think that people think sometimes we think that people think that we're supposed to be working all

that we're supposed to be working all that we're supposed to be working all the time and we don't deserve or need or the time and we don't deserve or need or the time and we don't deserve or need or you know require rest and so I is that I you know require rest and so I is that I you know require rest and so I is that I think when we're thinking about the think when we're thinking about the think when we're thinking about the guilt that we feel sometimes um for guilt that we feel sometimes um for guilt that we feel sometimes um for taking time for ourselves to rest we taking time for ourselves to rest we taking time for ourselves to rest we need to consider like why are we feeling need to consider like why are we feeling need to consider like why are we feeling that way do I feel this way because I'm that way do I feel this way because I'm that way do I feel this way because I'm projecting on to others what I think projecting on to others what I think projecting on to others what I think that they want from me um and again that they want from me um and again that they want from me um and again there's some work that can be done there there's some work that can be done there there's some work that can be done there within your church to help people to within your church to help people to within your church to help people to know what you need um prioritize know what you need um prioritize know what you need um prioritize yourself over the perception is yourself over the perception is yourself over the perception is basically what I'm saying so prioritize basically what I'm saying so prioritize basically what I'm saying so prioritize yourself over the perception of what you yourself over the perception of what you yourself over the perception of what you think um people think of you and then think um people think of you and then think um people think of you and then think about what is rest for you now for think about what is rest for you now for think about what is rest for you now for me rest might be going to hang out with me rest might be going to hang out with me rest might be going to hang out with a friend going for a walk it's doing a friend going for a walk it's doing a friend going for a walk it's doing things rest is not necessarily putting things rest is not necessarily putting things rest is not necessarily putting my head on a pillow although I need that my head on a pillow although I need that my head on a pillow although I need that more and more the order I get but it's more and more the order I get but it's more and more the order I get but it's restful for me to have people over for restful for me to have people over for restful for me to have people over for lunch to have good discussions about lunch to have good discussions about lunch to have good discussions about this the sermon to just chat it up with this the sermon to just chat it up with this the sermon to just chat it up with friends for my husband he going to do friends for my husband he going to do friends for my husband he going to do that for about 5 minutes and then he's that for about 5 minutes and then he's that for about 5 minutes and then he's out um so know what is rest for you and out um so know what is rest for you and out um so know what is rest for you and then um you know when you and then make then um you know when you and then make then um you know when you and then make room for the things that you need and room for the things that you need and room for the things that you need and let people know that that's what you let people know that that's what you let people know that that's what you need and then finally um I would say need and then finally um I would say need and then finally um I would say that that that um as you practice saying no as you um as you practice saying no as you um as you practice saying no as you practice you know reflecting you know practice you know reflecting you know practice you know reflecting you know reflecting on what you need that I think reflecting on what you need that I think reflecting on what you need that I think you just rest in the Lord and do that

you just rest in the Lord and do that you just rest in the Lord and do that with faith and do it with joy you might with faith and do it with joy you might with faith and do it with joy you might have to change your family routine so have to change your family routine so have to change your family routine so for us the BD prepares his sermon so for us the BD prepares his sermon so for us the BD prepares his sermon so that he's done before Friday so his that he's done before Friday so his that he's done before Friday so his weekend is a regular old weekend he's weekend is a regular old weekend he's weekend is a regular old weekend he's not working on the sermon all he did he not working on the sermon all he did he not working on the sermon all he did he used to do that we're however many years used to do that we're however many years used to do that we're however many years into ministry right so your season might into ministry right so your season might into ministry right so your season might be different but he's ordered his week be different but he's ordered his week be different but he's ordered his week such that he can have a regular weekend such that he can have a regular weekend such that he can have a regular weekend like everyone else another thing that he like everyone else another thing that he like everyone else another thing that he has um done done is because so many has um done done is because so many has um done done is because so many people are serving in the church on a people are serving in the church on a people are serving in the church on a Sunday he sees the Sunday sermon as his Sunday he sees the Sunday sermon as his Sunday he sees the Sunday sermon as his service to the church and he doesn't service to the church and he doesn't service to the church and he doesn't regard that as a quote unquote work day regard that as a quote unquote work day regard that as a quote unquote work day and so again once the sermon is over and and so again once the sermon is over and and so again once the sermon is over and he served the church in that way you he served the church in that way you he served the church in that way you know he's going to take his Sabbath rest know he's going to take his Sabbath rest know he's going to take his Sabbath rest um and then I said finally before but um and then I said finally before but um and then I said finally before but finally um I think if Sunday for finally um I think if Sunday for finally um I think if Sunday for whatever reason if you have Sunday uh whatever reason if you have Sunday uh whatever reason if you have Sunday uh Church on a Sunday afternoon and you Church on a Sunday afternoon and you Church on a Sunday afternoon and you just don't feel like that's a Sabbath just don't feel like that's a Sabbath just don't feel like that's a Sabbath for for you then take some other time in for for you then take some other time in for for you then take some other time in the week um and make that a time of the week um and make that a time of the week um and make that a time of Sabbath rest and prioritize it protect Sabbath rest and prioritize it protect Sabbath rest and prioritize it protect it set the boundary and let your it set the boundary and let your it set the boundary and let your community know um let your community community know um let your community community know um let your community even know the capacity that you have the even know the capacity that you have the even know the capacity that you have the differing capacities of you and your differing capacities of you and your differing capacities of you and your spouse um and then again disciple your spouse um and then again disciple your spouse um and then again disciple your church into the things that you need church into the things that you need church into the things that you need thank you for those of us who have thank you for those of us who have thank you for those of us who have little kids raise your hand if you have little kids raise your hand if you have little kids raise your hand if you have little kids that's us we have three little kids that's us we have three little kids that's us we have three little ones little ones little ones um this is uniquely hard and it it's um this is uniquely hard and it it's um this is uniquely hard and it it's always hard in its own way but um

always hard in its own way but um always hard in its own way but um Christine Hoover was really helpful to Christine Hoover was really helpful to Christine Hoover was really helpful to me in this regard I don't know if you me in this regard I don't know if you me in this regard I don't know if you remember saying this but you said um you remember saying this but you said um you remember saying this but you said um you and your husband give each other time so and your husband give each other time so and your husband give each other time so one of you takes the kids for an hour on one of you takes the kids for an hour on one of you takes the kids for an hour on your day off and then you switch and your day off and then you switch and your day off and then you switch and that has been so lifegiving for us so that has been so lifegiving for us so that has been so lifegiving for us so just a little tip for you all with just a little tip for you all with just a little tip for you all with little kids thanks Christine well we little kids thanks Christine well we little kids thanks Christine well we just have a few more minutes together um just have a few more minutes together um just have a few more minutes together um I'd love for us to end with this what I'd love for us to end with this what I'd love for us to end with this what specific verses of scripture or truths specific verses of scripture or truths specific verses of scripture or truths from scripture have encouraged and from scripture have encouraged and from scripture have encouraged and motivated you over the motivated you over the motivated you over the years Psalm years Psalm years Psalm 11968 says to the Lord you are good and 11968 says to the Lord you are good and 11968 says to the Lord you are good and you do good teach me your you do good teach me your you do good teach me your statutes when I view whatever life statutes when I view whatever life statutes when I view whatever life circumstances are going on Church circumstances are going on Church circumstances are going on Church Ministry Church Ministry Church Ministry Church stress um things that are going wrong at stress um things that are going wrong at stress um things that are going wrong at the church church when I view those the church church when I view those the church church when I view those things through that grid the Lord is things through that grid the Lord is things through that grid the Lord is good and he does good I feel better able good and he does good I feel better able good and he does good I feel better able to endure hard to endure hard to endure hard circumstances because so often we equate circumstances because so often we equate circumstances because so often we equate God's goodness with good God's goodness with good God's goodness with good circumstances but God is good in every circumstances but God is good in every circumstances but God is good in every circumstance and he is kind and he is circumstance and he is kind and he is circumstance and he is kind and he is loving because his character is loving because his character is loving because his character is unchangeable so anytime we have been unchangeable so anytime we have been unchangeable so anytime we have been through very very difficult Seasons as through very very difficult Seasons as through very very difficult Seasons as ministry as I'm sure you all have when ministry as I'm sure you all have when ministry as I'm sure you all have when you feel like I'm about to go put a for you feel like I'm about to go put a for you feel like I'm about to go put a for sale sign in the yard and get out of sale sign in the yard and get out of sale sign in the yard and get out of this town in this church I've done that

this town in this church I've done that this town in this church I've done that many times wanted to and um but when I many times wanted to and um but when I many times wanted to and um but when I stop and view what is happening in our stop and view what is happening in our stop and view what is happening in our life through the lens of God's good life through the lens of God's good life through the lens of God's good character it sort of reorders the way character it sort of reorders the way character it sort of reorders the way that I'm thinking about my life and it that I'm thinking about my life and it that I'm thinking about my life and it just underg guards endurance for me it just underg guards endurance for me it just underg guards endurance for me it is God's steady certain sure character is God's steady certain sure character is God's steady certain sure character and and knowing that he loves his church and and knowing that he loves his church and and knowing that he loves his church and and and somehow he will preserve his church somehow he will preserve his church somehow he will preserve his church through the conflicts that we are through the conflicts that we are through the conflicts that we are enduring somehow because he loves his enduring somehow because he loves his enduring somehow because he loves his church more than we do and so um if he church more than we do and so um if he church more than we do and so um if he loves his church and he is good I can loves his church and he is good I can loves his church and he is good I can love his church and I can trust him to love his church and I can trust him to love his church and I can trust him to be good in these circumstances um so one of the circumstances um so one of the scriptures that uh I guess you could scriptures that uh I guess you could scriptures that uh I guess you could call it a life verse um Colossians 1 uh call it a life verse um Colossians 1 uh call it a life verse um Colossians 1 uh veres 28- 29 I believe it is Paul is veres 28- 29 I believe it is Paul is veres 28- 29 I believe it is Paul is talking about his labors um in the talking about his labors um in the talking about his labors um in the gospel and he says it is for this that I gospel and he says it is for this that I gospel and he says it is for this that I um it is for this that I labor striving um it is for this that I labor striving um it is for this that I labor striving with all of his energy that he with all of his energy that he with all of his energy that he powerfully works in me and so I'm a doer powerfully works in me and so I'm a doer powerfully works in me and so I'm a doer any doers I'm a doer I'm a helper I'm a any doers I'm a doer I'm a helper I'm a any doers I'm a doer I'm a helper I'm a yeser and um and it's easy for me to yeser and um and it's easy for me to yeser and um and it's easy for me to want to have a sense of control and a want to have a sense of control and a want to have a sense of control and a sense of just doing doing doing and I sense of just doing doing doing and I sense of just doing doing doing and I can do a lot of things in my own can do a lot of things in my own can do a lot of things in my own strength but guess what my strength runs strength but guess what my strength runs strength but guess what my strength runs out real quick and I get to zero real

out real quick and I get to zero real out real quick and I get to zero real quick but if I'm striving in the energy quick but if I'm striving in the energy quick but if I'm striving in the energy and the strength that the Lord provides and the strength that the Lord provides and the strength that the Lord provides his strength is never ending the energy his strength is never ending the energy his strength is never ending the energy that he provides is ever flowing he that he provides is ever flowing he that he provides is ever flowing he gives me an abundance of what I need gives me an abundance of what I need gives me an abundance of what I need when I'm relying on him rather than when when I'm relying on him rather than when when I'm relying on him rather than when I'm relying on myself so um I would I'm relying on myself so um I would I'm relying on myself so um I would encourage you with that to strive with encourage you with that to strive with encourage you with that to strive with all of his energy not your own um which all of his energy not your own um which all of his energy not your own um which he powerfully works in us to do the he powerfully works in us to do the he powerfully works in us to do the things that he's called us to do I have things that he's called us to do I have things that he's called us to do I have two that are kind of my main Ministry two that are kind of my main Ministry two that are kind of my main Ministry verses one is first 1 Corinthians verses one is first 1 Corinthians verses one is first 1 Corinthians 15:58 it says therefore my beloved 15:58 it says therefore my beloved 15:58 it says therefore my beloved brothers be sisters be steadfast brothers be sisters be steadfast brothers be sisters be steadfast immovable always abounding in the work immovable always abounding in the work immovable always abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that in the Lord of the Lord knowing that in the Lord of the Lord knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain and then your labor is not in vain and then your labor is not in vain and then Hebrews 610 I go to this often for God Hebrews 610 I go to this often for God Hebrews 610 I go to this often for God is Not unjust so as to overl look your is Not unjust so as to overl look your is Not unjust so as to overl look your work and the love that you have shown work and the love that you have shown work and the love that you have shown for his name and serving the Saints as for his name and serving the Saints as for his name and serving the Saints as you still do I love that last one you still do I love that last one you still do I love that last one because often I think in Ministry because often I think in Ministry because often I think in Ministry pastor's wives especially we feel very pastor's wives especially we feel very pastor's wives especially we feel very unseen overlooked sometimes um and and unseen overlooked sometimes um and and unseen overlooked sometimes um and and to know that God sees what we do in his to know that God sees what we do in his to know that God sees what we do in his name and 1 Corinthians 15:58 says that name and 1 Corinthians 15:58 says that name and 1 Corinthians 15:58 says that is not in vain it is not in vain because is not in vain it is not in vain because is not in vain it is not in vain because we're doing it for him and he will we're doing it for him and he will we're doing it for him and he will reward that um but just the fact that he reward that um but just the fact that he reward that um but just the fact that he sees and values is you and what you sees and values is you and what you sees and values is you and what you bring to his kingdom in your specific bring to his kingdom in your specific bring to his kingdom in your specific context that encourages me every time I context that encourages me every time I context that encourages me every time I read it every time I think about it well I would love to pray for us so

it well I would love to pray for us so will you please bow your heads let's pray precious Lord Jesus thank you that pray precious Lord Jesus thank you that you love your you love your you love your church thank you that you lived and died church thank you that you lived and died church thank you that you lived and died and Rose for your church what a and Rose for your church what a and Rose for your church what a privilege Lord what beautiful privilege Lord what beautiful privilege Lord what beautiful Grace Lord would you please sustain us Grace Lord would you please sustain us Grace Lord would you please sustain us as we serve you whether at home in our as we serve you whether at home in our as we serve you whether at home in our neighborhoods within our church walls neighborhoods within our church walls neighborhoods within our church walls give us Spirit imparted give us Spirit imparted give us Spirit imparted joy and remind us that we serve you joy and remind us that we serve you joy and remind us that we serve you ultimately our Lord and our ultimately our Lord and our ultimately our Lord and our savior Lord for those of us who are savior Lord for those of us who are savior Lord for those of us who are tired and weary today revive us again tired and weary today revive us again tired and weary today revive us again for the lonely Lord draw near with your for the lonely Lord draw near with your for the lonely Lord draw near with your sweet sweet sweet presence for the jaded and discouraged presence for the jaded and discouraged presence for the jaded and discouraged restore the joy of your restore the joy of your restore the joy of your salvation Empower us to leave this place salvation Empower us to leave this place salvation Empower us to leave this place and support our husbands well and love and support our husbands well and love and support our husbands well and love your people with fresh eyes and willing your people with fresh eyes and willing your people with fresh eyes and willing Hearts it's For Your Glory Jesus that we Hearts it's For Your Glory Jesus that we Hearts it's For Your Glory Jesus that we pray all these things pray all these things pray all these things amen we hope you enjoyed this video amen we hope you enjoyed this video amen we hope you enjoyed this video who's someone you know that would also who's someone you know that would also who's someone you know that would also be encouraged by it you should send this be encouraged by it you should send this be encouraged by it you should send this to them the gospel Co ition provides to them the gospel Co ition provides to them the gospel Co ition provides trusted timely and gospel centered trusted timely and gospel centered trusted timely and gospel centered resources to help each of us in our resources to help each of us in our resources to help each of us in our ministry and our life so join in that ministry and our life so join in that ministry and our life so join in that mission and share this video with a mission and share this video with a mission and share this video with a friend friend friend [Music]