The Sin Everyone Tolerates - Jackie Hill Perry

I did not realize I did not realize how much how much how much I struggled with it until recently. I struggled with it until recently. I struggled with it until recently. Honestly, Honestly, Honestly, >> what changed? >> what changed? >> what changed? >> I think I started to work through I just >> I think I started to work through I just >> I think I started to work through I just started to work through the idea of started to work through the idea of started to work through the idea of discontentment. Like I was just discontentment. Like I was just discontentment. Like I was just realizing that like I have a lot. I have realizing that like I have a lot. I have realizing that like I have a lot. I have a family. I have a husband. I have a family. I have a husband. I have a family. I have a husband. I have success. I have like I don't I don't success. I have like I don't I don't success. I have like I don't I don't have what people would think is a life have what people would think is a life have what people would think is a life where I'm lacking, but I do have a lot where I'm lacking, but I do have a lot where I'm lacking, but I do have a lot of lack internally, mentally, uh, of lack internally, mentally, uh, of lack internally, mentally, uh, socially, relationally, right? Like I do socially, relationally, right? Like I do socially, relationally, right? Like I do have a lot of places where there's loss have a lot of places where there's loss have a lot of places where there's loss that has created a lot of places where that has created a lot of places where that has created a lot of places where there's discontentment. And so in me there's discontentment. And so in me there's discontentment. And so in me wanting to work through that, I was like wanting to work through that, I was like wanting to work through that, I was like googling things about discontentment, googling things about discontentment, googling things about discontentment, which led me to these things of the which led me to these things of the which led me to these things of the relation between discontentment and relation between discontentment and relation between discontentment and covetousness. I said, "Huh, there's a covetousness. I said, "Huh, there's a covetousness. I said, "Huh, there's a relationship between that." And then I relationship between that." And then I relationship between that." And then I was like, "Books about covetousness."

was like, "Books about covetousness." was like, "Books about covetousness." And then I'm like, Melissa wrote a And then I'm like, Melissa wrote a And then I'm like, Melissa wrote a bookousness. [laughter] I had not I had not a clue. Automatic I had not I had not a clue. Automatic purchase. automatic purchase. So I purchase. automatic purchase. So I purchase. automatic purchase. So I started reading it and it was profound started reading it and it was profound started reading it and it was profound to me that this was at the root of so to me that this was at the root of so to me that this was at the root of so many problems. many problems. many problems. I started tapping Preston at the on the I started tapping Preston at the on the I started tapping Preston at the on the shoulder where I'm like, do you realize shoulder where I'm like, do you realize shoulder where I'm like, do you realize that if we die to this, we die to so that if we die to this, we die to so that if we die to this, we die to so many others many others many others >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I love that that it was, you know, >> I love that that it was, you know, >> I love that that it was, you know, discontentment that kind of revealed discontentment that kind of revealed discontentment that kind of revealed that it's it's actually the that it's it's actually the that it's it's actually the discontentment was the symptom. It was discontentment was the symptom. It was discontentment was the symptom. It was the sign. It wasn't the root. But that the sign. It wasn't the root. But that the sign. It wasn't the root. But that and even if we go back to Genesis 1, and even if we go back to Genesis 1, and even if we go back to Genesis 1, it's like the enemy bred discontentment it's like the enemy bred discontentment it's like the enemy bred discontentment in Eve first in Eve first in Eve first >> and then we see her desire and take and >> and then we see her desire and take and >> and then we see her desire and take and give and eat and all of the things that give and eat and all of the things that give and eat and all of the things that that she does as a result. But I'd never that she does as a result. But I'd never that she does as a result. But I'd never thought about the fact that the enemy thought about the fact that the enemy thought about the fact that the enemy was first sewing those seeds of was first sewing those seeds of was first sewing those seeds of discontentment.

discontentment. discontentment. Um, and I would even say back to your Um, and I would even say back to your Um, and I would even say back to your question, Melissa, I'm not sure that question, Melissa, I'm not sure that question, Melissa, I'm not sure that it's a new I don't think it's any more it's a new I don't think it's any more it's a new I don't think it's any more difficult. I mean, if it's the first difficult. I mean, if it's the first difficult. I mean, if it's the first real sin that we see or the root of the real sin that we see or the root of the real sin that we see or the root of the first sin that we see, then I don't first sin that we see, then I don't first sin that we see, then I don't think it's new in this age in any way. think it's new in this age in any way. think it's new in this age in any way. And like you said, Jackie, if we have And like you said, Jackie, if we have And like you said, Jackie, if we have eyes, I think a lot about um Psalm 16 eyes, I think a lot about um Psalm 16 eyes, I think a lot about um Psalm 16 and the and verse verse 5 says this, and and the and verse verse 5 says this, and and the and verse verse 5 says this, and it's been something that I've had to it's been something that I've had to it's been something that I've had to like wrestle down into my heart over the like wrestle down into my heart over the like wrestle down into my heart over the last decade. But it says David said, last decade. But it says David said, last decade. But it says David said, "The Lord is my chosen portion and my "The Lord is my chosen portion and my "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup. He holds my lot." Then he says, cup. He holds my lot." Then he says, cup. He holds my lot." Then he says, "The lines." So these are boundary "The lines." So these are boundary "The lines." So these are boundary lines. And so it would have been talking lines. And so it would have been talking lines. And so it would have been talking about the the land inheritance, but but about the the land inheritance, but but about the the land inheritance, but but we're going to extrapolate from that. we're going to extrapolate from that. we're going to extrapolate from that. But the lines have fallen for me in But the lines have fallen for me in But the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Indeed, I have a pleasant places. Indeed, I have a pleasant places. Indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. And if you know beautiful inheritance. And if you know beautiful inheritance. And if you know anything about the land of Israel, not anything about the land of Israel, not anything about the land of Israel, not not all the land aotments were equal. not all the land aotments were equal. not all the land aotments were equal. Northern Israel was lush and abundant Northern Israel was lush and abundant Northern Israel was lush and abundant and fertile, and southern Israel is is and fertile, and southern Israel is is and fertile, and southern Israel is is desert. And yet what he says is where desert. And yet what he says is where desert. And yet what he says is where you've placed me and these lines that you've placed me and these lines that you've placed me and these lines that you've put in my life, these boundary you've put in my life, these boundary you've put in my life, these boundary lines, I'm going to choose contentment lines, I'm going to choose contentment lines, I'm going to choose contentment in those. And I think about all the in those. And I think about all the in those. And I think about all the boundary lines that the Lord has placed boundary lines that the Lord has placed boundary lines that the Lord has placed on me. Um you know, uh intellectual on me. Um you know, uh intellectual on me. Um you know, uh intellectual capability, uh physical capability, uh capability, uh physical capability, uh capability, uh physical capability, uh financial boundary lines, whatever it financial boundary lines, whatever it financial boundary lines, whatever it is, just we're limited, right, in all is, just we're limited, right, in all is, just we're limited, right, in all these ways. Uh spiritual giftedness these ways. Uh spiritual giftedness these ways. Uh spiritual giftedness boundary lines, all of these things. But boundary lines, all of these things. But boundary lines, all of these things. But this idea of resting within those lines

this idea of resting within those lines this idea of resting within those lines that he has sovereignly drawn has been that he has sovereignly drawn has been that he has sovereignly drawn has been the thing that makes me just push this the thing that makes me just push this the thing that makes me just push this idea just back to your connection Jackie idea just back to your connection Jackie idea just back to your connection Jackie between contentment and covetousness. between contentment and covetousness. between contentment and covetousness. Pushing this idea of contentment deeper Pushing this idea of contentment deeper Pushing this idea of contentment deeper into into my heart. One thing you said into into my heart. One thing you said into into my heart. One thing you said Jackie to like if I look at your life Jackie to like if I look at your life Jackie to like if I look at your life from the outside I'm like oh you know from the outside I'm like oh you know from the outside I'm like oh you know you're you're you're doing it. You've you're you're you're doing it. You've you're you're you're doing it. You've got a great fulfilling career. You've got a great fulfilling career. You've got a great fulfilling career. You've got a great husband who you love. You've got a great husband who you love. You've got a great husband who you love. You've got great kids. Well, at least they look got great kids. Well, at least they look got great kids. Well, at least they look great to us. They're so cute. [laughter] great to us. They're so cute. [laughter] great to us. They're so cute. [laughter] >> And and um for me, actually, what >> And and um for me, actually, what >> And and um for me, actually, what started me on this topic years ago was I started me on this topic years ago was I started me on this topic years ago was I realized I had gotten what I wanted. realized I had gotten what I wanted. realized I had gotten what I wanted. >> I had the husband. I had the kids. We >> I had the husband. I had the kids. We >> I had the husband. I had the kids. We finally had moved back from Scot. We had finally had moved back from Scot. We had finally had moved back from Scot. We had been living overseas. So, I was blaming been living overseas. So, I was blaming been living overseas. So, I was blaming my discontentment on my location. I was my discontentment on my location. I was my discontentment on my location. I was like, "Oh, it's because it's hard like, "Oh, it's because it's hard like, "Oh, it's because it's hard because I live overseas." Well, now I'm because I live overseas." Well, now I'm because I live overseas." Well, now I'm back. I'm actually in the state where my back. I'm actually in the state where my back. I'm actually in the state where my family lives close to people I love, you family lives close to people I love, you family lives close to people I love, you know, with rootedness. And it was almost know, with rootedness. And it was almost know, with rootedness. And it was almost like the Lord was like, "Here, here you like the Lord was like, "Here, here you like the Lord was like, "Here, here you go.

go. go. >> Here you go. >> Here you go. >> Here you go. >> Here you go. Here's your life." And I >> Here you go. Here's your life." And I >> Here you go. Here's your life." And I was like, "Huh, was like, "Huh, was like, "Huh, I'm still deeply struggling with feeling I'm still deeply struggling with feeling I'm still deeply struggling with feeling discontent each day about a variety of discontent each day about a variety of discontent each day about a variety of things, you know." Um, and it was almost things, you know." Um, and it was almost things, you know." Um, and it was almost the exposure of getting the life I the exposure of getting the life I the exposure of getting the life I thought I wanted that made me realize I thought I wanted that made me realize I thought I wanted that made me realize I needed a desperate heart change, not a needed a desperate heart change, not a needed a desperate heart change, not a circumstance change. circumstance change. circumstance change. >> I love it when Jackie lives. >> I love it when Jackie lives. >> I love it when Jackie lives. >> I know. I know. I know. >> I know. I know. I know. >> I know. I know. I know. >> It's highlighted. It's highlighted in my >> It's highlighted. It's highlighted in my >> It's highlighted. It's highlighted in my phone. I I pulled it up. You probably phone. I I pulled it up. You probably phone. I I pulled it up. You probably can't see it because it's blurred out. can't see it because it's blurred out. can't see it because it's blurred out. >> You want me to read it? >> You want me to read it? >> You want me to read it? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I can read it. >> I can read it. >> I can read it. >> Read it. Repeat it for us. She said, "My >> Read it. Repeat it for us. She said, "My >> Read it. Repeat it for us. She said, "My problem was in accepting the Lord's will problem was in accepting the Lord's will problem was in accepting the Lord's will for my life, which involved these very for my life, which involved these very for my life, which involved these very trivial items that I grumbled and trivial items that I grumbled and trivial items that I grumbled and complained about in my heart. I can say complained about in my heart. I can say complained about in my heart. I can say by God's grace, he is changing my heart by God's grace, he is changing my heart by God's grace, he is changing my heart to trust and rejoice in him regardless to trust and rejoice in him regardless to trust and rejoice in him regardless of my circumstances. However, my heart of my circumstances. However, my heart of my circumstances. However, my heart is the thing that needs changing, not my is the thing that needs changing, not my is the thing that needs changing, not my circumstances. If my heart is not freed circumstances. If my heart is not freed circumstances. If my heart is not freed from this sin pattern, then I will go from this sin pattern, then I will go from this sin pattern, then I will go from initial coveting to more coveting from initial coveting to more coveting from initial coveting to more coveting with attainment, gaining me only with attainment, gaining me only with attainment, gaining me only temporary happiness."

temporary happiness." temporary happiness." Because I do I do think that Because I do I do think that Because I do I do think that covetousness covetousness covetousness is deceptive where you do think that if is deceptive where you do think that if is deceptive where you do think that if I get the thing then I will be happy I get the thing then I will be happy I get the thing then I will be happy when it's like no the heart is the when it's like no the heart is the when it's like no the heart is the issue. It's not circumstantial. It issue. It's not circumstantial. It issue. It's not circumstantial. It really is it's it's you. really is it's it's you. really is it's it's you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So >> So >> So >> yeah. Yeah. And I think it's actually >> yeah. Yeah. And I think it's actually >> yeah. Yeah. And I think it's actually why we find so many people at the why we find so many people at the why we find so many people at the pinnacle of their career that's when pinnacle of their career that's when pinnacle of their career that's when they crash. they crash. they crash. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I mean you you look at people >> Yeah. I mean you you look at people >> Yeah. I mean you you look at people you're like why are you doing that now? you're like why are you doing that now? you're like why are you doing that now? I mean, if you just go back to David, I mean, if you just go back to David, I mean, if you just go back to David, right? Like King David, I mean, right? Like King David, I mean, right? Like King David, I mean, >> finally gets the kingdom, finally gets >> finally gets the kingdom, finally gets >> finally gets the kingdom, finally gets peacefulness peacefulness peacefulness >> and he crashes and burns then, you know, >> and he crashes and burns then, you know, >> and he crashes and burns then, you know, and I think it just shows and I think it just shows and I think it just shows >> getting what we think we want is >> getting what we think we want is >> getting what we think we want is emptiness ultimately if if we haven't emptiness ultimately if if we haven't emptiness ultimately if if we haven't learned to rest in the Lord in plenty or learned to rest in the Lord in plenty or learned to rest in the Lord in plenty or in want. Like that's that's the thing to in want. Like that's that's the thing to in want. Like that's that's the thing to attain. Okay. Tie that into Genesis um attain. Okay. Tie that into Genesis um attain. Okay. Tie that into Genesis um 3. I was going to say Genesis 1. Tie 3. I was going to say Genesis 1. Tie 3. I was going to say Genesis 1. Tie that into Genesis. Really well. Genesis that into Genesis. Really well. Genesis that into Genesis. Really well. Genesis 1 is a lot better. Tie that into Genesis 1 is a lot better. Tie that into Genesis 1 is a lot better. Tie that into Genesis 3. What you're saying, both of you talk 3. What you're saying, both of you talk 3. What you're saying, both of you talk about this idea that this thing that about this idea that this thing that about this idea that this thing that became what Eve desired. Um knowledge of became what Eve desired. Um knowledge of became what Eve desired. Um knowledge of good and evil. She got it right. And so good and evil. She got it right. And so good and evil. She got it right. And so what like what does that show us? the what like what does that show us? the what like what does that show us? the attainment of this thing that we covet attainment of this thing that we covet attainment of this thing that we covet and take. Um, how does that really like and take. Um, how does that really like and take. Um, how does that really like expound this idea that you're talking

expound this idea that you're talking expound this idea that you're talking about? about? about? >> Yeah, I I I think there is something to >> Yeah, I I I think there is something to >> Yeah, I I I think there is something to be said about how be said about how be said about how God is wise in what he gives us when he God is wise in what he gives us when he God is wise in what he gives us when he gives it to us. Mhm. gives it to us. Mhm. gives it to us. Mhm. >> And so it's like >> And so it's like >> And so it's like Satan is offering you this thing Satan is offering you this thing Satan is offering you this thing and you have this perception of it and you have this perception of it and you have this perception of it that's not even being defined for you on that's not even being defined for you on that's not even being defined for you on God's terms. God's terms. God's terms. >> And so when you get it, you actually get >> And so when you get it, you actually get >> And so when you get it, you actually get it and you're like I can't like you get it and you're like I can't like you get it and you're like I can't like you get death. You're not getting wisdom. You're death. You're not getting wisdom. You're death. You're not getting wisdom. You're not getting goodness. You're not getting not getting goodness. You're not getting not getting goodness. You're not getting life. you're not getting. And so you life. you're not getting. And so you life. you're not getting. And so you think if I get the big house, I'll be think if I get the big house, I'll be think if I get the big house, I'll be happy. But then you get the big house happy. But then you get the big house happy. But then you get the big house and now you got a you taxes are higher, and now you got a you taxes are higher, and now you got a you taxes are higher, >> right? [laughter] >> right? [laughter] >> right? [laughter] >> Your gas bill is crazy. You understand >> Your gas bill is crazy. You understand >> Your gas bill is crazy. You understand what I'm saying? You got neighbors what I'm saying? You got neighbors what I'm saying? You got neighbors clean. Yeah. You got more You got clean. Yeah. You got more You got clean. Yeah. You got more You got neighbors that you didn't have to deal neighbors that you didn't have to deal neighbors that you didn't have to deal with before. There's [clears throat] all with before. There's [clears throat] all with before. There's [clears throat] all of these things that you did not of these things that you did not of these things that you did not anticipate you would deal with because anticipate you would deal with because anticipate you would deal with because you were moving ahead of God's wisdom.

you were moving ahead of God's wisdom. you were moving ahead of God's wisdom. And so I think even our perspective like And so I think even our perspective like And so I think even our perspective like the Lord knows what's good for us. And the Lord knows what's good for us. And the Lord knows what's good for us. And so there's something about covetousness so there's something about covetousness so there's something about covetousness where it's like you think you know where it's like you think you know where it's like you think you know better. better. better. >> And if contentment says I just I think >> And if contentment says I just I think >> And if contentment says I just I think if I just stay here, he just knows. He if I just stay here, he just knows. He if I just stay here, he just knows. He just knows. just knows. just knows. >> He just knows. >> He just knows. >> He just knows. >> Just knows. is like the author of Psalm >> Just knows. is like the author of Psalm >> Just knows. is like the author of Psalm 73. You know, there is nothing on earth 73. You know, there is nothing on earth 73. You know, there is nothing on earth I desire besides you because what you're I desire besides you because what you're I desire besides you because what you're saying like we get it these things on saying like we get it these things on saying like we get it these things on earth that we desire and yet they just earth that we desire and yet they just earth that we desire and yet they just don't satisfy because nothing no one can don't satisfy because nothing no one can don't satisfy because nothing no one can satisfy except the Lord. And ultimately satisfy except the Lord. And ultimately satisfy except the Lord. And ultimately it's a belief in the thing over the it's a belief in the thing over the it's a belief in the thing over the belief in God. belief in God. belief in God. >> Yeah. You know, it's like I'm putting my >> Yeah. You know, it's like I'm putting my >> Yeah. You know, it's like I'm putting my trust, I'm putting my hope, I'm putting trust, I'm putting my hope, I'm putting trust, I'm putting my hope, I'm putting my expectation in getting that thing. my expectation in getting that thing. my expectation in getting that thing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And the Lord keeps saying, I'm no. >> And the Lord keeps saying, I'm no. >> And the Lord keeps saying, I'm no. >> And sometimes he's going to give it to >> And sometimes he's going to give it to >> And sometimes he's going to give it to us so we'll see. It didn't satisfy. us so we'll see. It didn't satisfy. us so we'll see. It didn't satisfy. >> And sometimes I think he withholds so we >> And sometimes I think he withholds so we >> And sometimes I think he withholds so we can learn to find our satisfaction in can learn to find our satisfaction in can learn to find our satisfaction in him.

him. him. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, like I think both lessons are >> You know, like I think both lessons are >> You know, like I think both lessons are happening in this school room of our happening in this school room of our happening in this school room of our day. But to me, Jackie, what you were day. But to me, Jackie, what you were day. But to me, Jackie, what you were just saying, it's actually just saying, it's actually just saying, it's actually not about circumstances. It's all it's not about circumstances. It's all it's not about circumstances. It's all it's about, can I trust the Lord? about, can I trust the Lord? about, can I trust the Lord? >> I think that's really the fundamental >> I think that's really the fundamental >> I think that's really the fundamental thing. thing. thing. >> Well, I was going to go back to what you >> Well, I was going to go back to what you >> Well, I was going to go back to what you had said about if you get to this root had said about if you get to this root had said about if you get to this root issue of covetousness, then you are you issue of covetousness, then you are you issue of covetousness, then you are you are actually addressing a myriad of are actually addressing a myriad of are actually addressing a myriad of sins. And yet I think so often we tend sins. And yet I think so often we tend sins. And yet I think so often we tend to discount and and kind of just think to discount and and kind of just think to discount and and kind of just think well covetousness is not really that big well covetousness is not really that big well covetousness is not really that big of a deal. Um everybody co like of a deal. Um everybody co like of a deal. Um everybody co like everybody covets something and we kind everybody covets something and we kind everybody covets something and we kind of push it down like it's not this this of push it down like it's not this this of push it down like it's not this this big deal. Um James would certainly have big deal. Um James would certainly have big deal. Um James would certainly have other things to say uh to us about this other things to say uh to us about this other things to say uh to us about this this idea of you know what causes this idea of you know what causes this idea of you know what causes quarrels and fights among you is it not quarrels and fights among you is it not quarrels and fights among you is it not this. Your passions are at war within this. Your passions are at war within this. Your passions are at war within you. You desire and you do not have. So you. You desire and you do not have. So you. You desire and you do not have. So you murder. You covet and cannot obtain.

you murder. You covet and cannot obtain. you murder. You covet and cannot obtain. So you fight and quarrel. You do not So you fight and quarrel. You do not So you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask and you do have because you do not ask and you do have because you do not ask and you do not you ask and you do not receive not you ask and you do not receive not you ask and you do not receive because you ask wrongly to spend it on because you ask wrongly to spend it on because you ask wrongly to spend it on your own passions. So obviously coveting your own passions. So obviously coveting your own passions. So obviously coveting is at like you said the root. So why do is at like you said the root. So why do is at like you said the root. So why do we discount it? Why do we why do we we discount it? Why do we why do we we discount it? Why do we why do we normalize it and accept it if it is this normalize it and accept it if it is this normalize it and accept it if it is this thing that will do away with so many thing that will do away with so many thing that will do away with so many other sins? other sins? other sins? How can we give it its proper How can we give it its proper How can we give it its proper perspective in our fight against sin? perspective in our fight against sin? perspective in our fight against sin? >> I'm I'm g ask y'all. I don't hear people >> I'm I'm g ask y'all. I don't hear people >> I'm I'm g ask y'all. I don't hear people teach about covetousness. teach about covetousness. teach about covetousness. >> Truthfully, I I have heard about envy. I >> Truthfully, I I have heard about envy. I >> Truthfully, I I have heard about envy. I have heard about jealousy. But I I do have heard about jealousy. But I I do have heard about jealousy. But I I do think when you think about um teaching think when you think about um teaching think when you think about um teaching books, literature like conferences, a books, literature like conferences, a books, literature like conferences, a lot of what comes out is like you know lot of what comes out is like you know lot of what comes out is like you know sexuality sexuality sexuality >> like those but covetousness I don't >> like those but covetousness I don't >> like those but covetousness I don't really think we highlight that as a really think we highlight that as a really think we highlight that as a problematic feature of the human nature problematic feature of the human nature problematic feature of the human nature a lot. Would you say that might be a a lot. Would you say that might be a a lot. Would you say that might be a reason why we're like it's if we don't reason why we're like it's if we don't reason why we're like it's if we don't know that it's a thing then maybe it's a know that it's a thing then maybe it's a know that it's a thing then maybe it's a part of why we're also blind to it part of why we're also blind to it part of why we're also blind to it within our own selves.

within our own selves. within our own selves. >> Yep. I think Yeah. There's other ones >> Yep. I think Yeah. There's other ones >> Yep. I think Yeah. There's other ones it's easy to be like, "Well, that's it's easy to be like, "Well, that's it's easy to be like, "Well, that's that's her problem." that's her problem." that's her problem." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like we'll talk about sexuality because >> Like we'll talk about sexuality because >> Like we'll talk about sexuality because that's somebody else's problem. that's somebody else's problem. that's somebody else's problem. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And and we'll we'll be real tough on it >> And and we'll we'll be real tough on it >> And and we'll we'll be real tough on it or whatever. We'll talk about um even or whatever. We'll talk about um even or whatever. We'll talk about um even things like maybe greed because I think things like maybe greed because I think things like maybe greed because I think we can hide behind I'm not greedy so I we can hide behind I'm not greedy so I we can hide behind I'm not greedy so I must not be covetousness. I must not you must not be covetousness. I must not you must not be covetousness. I must not you know like we we picture it just being know like we we picture it just being know like we we picture it just being about money. And so even for my my story about money. And so even for my my story about money. And so even for my my story I never really wanted I I wouldn't have I never really wanted I I wouldn't have I never really wanted I I wouldn't have described myself as greedy. described myself as greedy. described myself as greedy. >> Right? So it was I was never chasing >> Right? So it was I was never chasing >> Right? So it was I was never chasing money. I mean like both my husband and I money. I mean like both my husband and I money. I mean like both my husband and I went into ministry. We were not went into ministry. We were not went into ministry. We were not thinking. Yeah. And I went to be a thinking. Yeah. And I went to be a thinking. Yeah. And I went to be a public school teacher. Yeah. But I I public school teacher. Yeah. But I I public school teacher. Yeah. But I I think we h it hides because we limit it. think we h it hides because we limit it. think we h it hides because we limit it. We say, "Oh, it's just these little We say, "Oh, it's just these little We say, "Oh, it's just these little things." And so we [clears throat] things." And so we [clears throat] things." And so we [clears throat] think, "Oh, I'm not I'm not about think, "Oh, I'm not I'm not about think, "Oh, I'm not I'm not about money." And but yet it it's actually money." And but yet it it's actually money." And but yet it it's actually every internal desire in my heart that's every internal desire in my heart that's every internal desire in my heart that's messed up, messed up, messed up, >> you know, and and >> you know, and and >> you know, and and >> if we if we can keep it small rather >> if we if we can keep it small rather >> if we if we can keep it small rather than expansive, we don't think it's our than expansive, we don't think it's our than expansive, we don't think it's our problem. And and you're right, Jack. I problem. And and you're right, Jack. I problem. And and you're right, Jack. I don't think people talk about it. And I don't think people talk about it. And I don't think people talk about it. And I I don't think we want to read about it.

I don't think we want to read about it. I don't think we want to read about it. I don't think because we think it's I don't think because we think it's I don't think because we think it's someone else's problem someone else's problem someone else's problem >> and it feels uh it feels like nasty or >> and it feels uh it feels like nasty or >> and it feels uh it feels like nasty or embarrassing. That might be a better embarrassing. That might be a better embarrassing. That might be a better word. To admit to being covetous feels word. To admit to being covetous feels word. To admit to being covetous feels like covetous or to being jeal like covetous or to being jeal like covetous or to being jeal [clears throat] like those are those [clears throat] like those are those [clears throat] like those are those that package of of sin that that makes that package of of sin that that makes that package of of sin that that makes you feel a kind of like it's you don't you feel a kind of like it's you don't you feel a kind of like it's you don't want to identify with that one not that want to identify with that one not that want to identify with that one not that one. It's it's very similar to the one. It's it's very similar to the one. It's it's very similar to the person who says who prefers to say that person who says who prefers to say that person who says who prefers to say that they're angry rather than saying that they're angry rather than saying that they're angry rather than saying that they're hurt. There's something about they're hurt. There's something about they're hurt. There's something about identifying with anger that still feels identifying with anger that still feels identifying with anger that still feels strong rather than saying I'm hurt. So strong rather than saying I'm hurt. So strong rather than saying I'm hurt. So to say that I'm covetous feels a little to say that I'm covetous feels a little to say that I'm covetous feels a little like who do you think I am? It feels like who do you think I am? It feels like who do you think I am? It feels weak. weak. weak. >> But maybe to identify that you're >> But maybe to identify that you're >> But maybe to identify that you're covetous might actually break off some covetous might actually break off some covetous might actually break off some things because now we're getting to the things because now we're getting to the things because now we're getting to the root of some issues.