Why Ministry Partners Are Better than Instagram Friends [TGC Podcast Ep. 387]

I'm Melissa Krueger I work for the I'm Melissa Krueger I work for the Gospel Coalition and I'm really happy Gospel Coalition and I'm really happy Gospel Coalition and I'm really happy all of you are here so it's so great to all of you are here so it's so great to all of you are here so it's so great to get to be here with you guys good I'm get to be here with you guys good I'm get to be here with you guys good I'm Ruth Joe Simons I'm an artist author and Ruth Joe Simons I'm an artist author and Ruth Joe Simons I'm an artist author and founder of Grace lace.com um I live in founder of Grace lace.com um I live in founder of Grace lace.com um I live in western Colorado I'm a mama to six boys western Colorado I'm a mama to six boys western Colorado I'm a mama to six boys and an actual friends with all these and an actual friends with all these and an actual friends with all these ladies so I'm Courtney doctor I'm the ladies so I'm Courtney doctor I'm the ladies so I'm Courtney doctor I'm the director of women's initiatives at the director of women's initiatives at the director of women's initiatives at the Gospel Coalition and I live in North Gospel Coalition and I live in North Gospel Coalition and I live in North Georgia now just south of Chattanooga Georgia now just south of Chattanooga Georgia now just south of Chattanooga Tennessee but I look out on this room Tennessee but I look out on this room Tennessee but I look out on this room and I not only have my parents here and and I not only have my parents here and and I not only have my parents here and daughter-in-laws here I have real life daughter-in-laws here I have real life daughter-in-laws here I have real life friends from different stages uh church friends from different stages uh church friends from different stages uh church friends and it is a joy to be here and friends and it is a joy to be here and friends and it is a joy to be here and to think about these friendships and the to think about these friendships and the to think about these friendships and the way they've impacted me and formed me way they've impacted me and formed me way they've impacted me and formed me and to have them in the room so it's and to have them in the room so it's and to have them in the room so it's really fun is it fun so good um my name really fun is it fun so good um my name really fun is it fun so good um my name is Ann Bos Camp um my husband and I live is Ann Bos Camp um my husband and I live is Ann Bos Camp um my husband and I live on a farm outside of Ontario um Canada on a farm outside of Ontario um Canada on a farm outside of Ontario um Canada outside of Toronto Ontario Canada we outside of Toronto Ontario Canada we outside of Toronto Ontario Canada we have um I have the joy of two have um I have the joy of two have um I have the joy of two daughter-in-laws in the room here our daughter-in-laws in the room here our daughter-in-laws in the room here our first grandson is our first grandbaby is first grandson is our first grandbaby is first grandson is our first grandbaby is in the room um and we we got to road in the room um and we we got to road in the room um and we we got to road trip down with the two daughter-in-laws trip down with the two daughter-in-laws trip down with the two daughter-in-laws and their sisters and their mom and and their sisters and their mom and and their sisters and their mom and their mom's best friend so I got I got their mom's best friend so I got I got their mom's best friend so I got I got the joy of friendship all the way down the joy of friendship all the way down the joy of friendship all the way down here and I didn't know I didn't know here and I didn't know I didn't know here and I didn't know I didn't know when my sons married such beautiful when my sons married such beautiful when my sons married such beautiful daughters that I would get the daughters that I would get the daughters that I would get the friendship with their mothers which has friendship with their mothers which has friendship with their mothers which has been such a gift and a Grace amen amen

been such a gift and a Grace amen amen been such a gift and a Grace amen amen that's so that's such a great way you that's so that's such a great way you that's so that's such a great way you get the bonus friends you've said that get the bonus friends you've said that get the bonus friends you've said that as well we're waiting yeah yeah right as well we're waiting yeah yeah right as well we're waiting yeah yeah right over there know exactly exactly um well over there know exactly exactly um well over there know exactly exactly um well I want to start with this question I want to start with this question I want to start with this question Courtney I'm going to direct it to you Courtney I'm going to direct it to you Courtney I'm going to direct it to you to begin with so when we talk about to begin with so when we talk about to begin with so when we talk about Ministry Partners what do we even mean Ministry Partners what do we even mean Ministry Partners what do we even mean by that what is kind of true of gospel by that what is kind of true of gospel by that what is kind of true of gospel centered friendship that might be centered friendship that might be centered friendship that might be different than the way the world thinks different than the way the world thinks different than the way the world thinks of friendship of friendship of friendship yeah it's it's finding that person and yeah it's it's finding that person and yeah it's it's finding that person and those people that you have that shared those people that you have that shared those people that you have that shared missional perspective on how you live missional perspective on how you live missional perspective on how you live your life and so when you find those your life and so when you find those your life and so when you find those people and you can do the whole gamut people and you can do the whole gamut people and you can do the whole gamut you know you can do the fun you can do you know you can do the fun you can do you know you can do the fun you can do the serious I mean you know we we work the serious I mean you know we we work the serious I mean you know we we work together but we have you know a together but we have you know a together but we have you know a friendship that is it it impacts every friendship that is it it impacts every friendship that is it it impacts every part of our lives so the prayer requests part of our lives so the prayer requests part of our lives so the prayer requests are for our families and for our dogs are for our families and for our dogs are for our families and for our dogs and for what we're doing in Ministry and and for what we're doing in Ministry and and for what we're doing in Ministry and uh but you find those people and you're uh but you find those people and you're uh but you find those people and you're living on Mission together it is you living on Mission together it is you living on Mission together it is you know whatever bonds you really defines know whatever bonds you really defines know whatever bonds you really defines the strength of your relationship and so the strength of your relationship and so the strength of your relationship and so when it's you know it's great to have when it's you know it's great to have when it's you know it's great to have friends that you bond with tennis or friends that you bond with tennis or friends that you bond with tennis or pickle ball or whatever it is over those pickle ball or whatever it is over those pickle ball or whatever it is over those are great but when the gospel is the are great but when the gospel is the are great but when the gospel is the thing that bonds you together it is it thing that bonds you together it is it thing that bonds you together it is it is the strongest possible Bond you can is the strongest possible Bond you can is the strongest possible Bond you can have with that in that friendship have with that in that friendship have with that in that friendship relationship and it's so beautiful and relationship and it's so beautiful and relationship and it's so beautiful and it's having that friend that's willing it's having that friend that's willing it's having that friend that's willing to speak the gospel to you all the time

to speak the gospel to you all the time to speak the gospel to you all the time even the hard things right to call us even the hard things right to call us even the hard things right to call us out on things and to to um encourage Us out on things and to to um encourage Us out on things and to to um encourage Us in the right things and so it's it's in the right things and so it's it's in the right things and so it's it's living the gospel in the context of living the gospel in the context of living the gospel in the context of those relationships and those friendships well Ruth I was just going friendships well Ruth I was just going to say do you want to share how you and to say do you want to share how you and to say do you want to share how you and I first met because it was so profound I first met because it was so profound I first met because it was so profound for me Ruth it was like um it's been for me Ruth it was like um it's been for me Ruth it was like um it's been almost a decade now right more really oh almost a decade now right more really oh almost a decade now right more really oh my goodness I think we're I think it's my goodness I think we're I think it's my goodness I think we're I think it's at least 11 if not moving to 12 years or at least 11 if not moving to 12 years or at least 11 if not moving to 12 years or yeah it was um at a conference where you yeah it was um at a conference where you yeah it was um at a conference where you were speaking and you had experienced were speaking and you had experienced were speaking and you had experienced some misrepresentation online and had some misrepresentation online and had some misrepresentation online and had just felt very isolated and alone and so just felt very isolated and alone and so just felt very isolated and alone and so I found you in the hall and I said hey I I found you in the hall and I said hey I I found you in the hall and I said hey I want you to know that I read that I see want you to know that I read that I see want you to know that I read that I see you I know there's more to this and we you I know there's more to this and we you I know there's more to this and we shared a moment and really talked about shared a moment and really talked about shared a moment and really talked about how we're real people and it's not just how we're real people and it's not just how we're real people and it's not just what you see online um it was really what you see online um it was really what you see online um it was really um in the first 30 seconds Ruth we went um in the first 30 seconds Ruth we went um in the first 30 seconds Ruth we went 30,000 feet deep um we tend to do that 30,000 feet deep um we tend to do that 30,000 feet deep um we tend to do that right but you were you preached gospel right but you were you preached gospel right but you were you preached gospel to me the moment I first met you and I to me the moment I first met you and I to me the moment I first met you and I am I thought I had the message the Lord am I thought I had the message the Lord am I thought I had the message the Lord wanted me to speak at that conference wanted me to speak at that conference wanted me to speak at that conference and I went upstairs to my room and and I went upstairs to my room and and I went upstairs to my room and completely rewrote what I was going to completely rewrote what I was going to completely rewrote what I was going to share because of what you shared with me share because of what you shared with me share because of what you shared with me in the whole find those people those are in the whole find those people those are in the whole find those people those are the people those are the people and that the people those are the people and that the people those are the people and that that was before that was before you were

that was before that was before you were that was before that was before you were published even published in any you were published even published in any you were published even published in any you were a person that didn't wasn't really a person that didn't wasn't really a person that didn't wasn't really online at that point at all but you had online at that point at all but you had online at that point at all but you had such a profound impact in my life the such a profound impact in my life the such a profound impact in my life the Lord's hand was on you anointing you and Lord's hand was on you anointing you and Lord's hand was on you anointing you and you spoke deeply into my life and here you spoke deeply into my life and here you spoke deeply into my life and here we are how many years later and you have we are how many years later and you have we are how many years later and you have come and sat at my table slept at your come and sat at my table slept at your come and sat at my table slept at your house slept at my house slept at my house slept at my we actually yeah had my baby little we actually yeah had my baby little we actually yeah had my baby little Shiloh crawl up on your lap and share Shiloh crawl up on your lap and share Shiloh crawl up on your lap and share really tender Beautiful Moments so it's really tender Beautiful Moments so it's really tender Beautiful Moments so it's it's you're right Courtney it's the it's you're right Courtney it's the it's you're right Courtney it's the people who will speak gospel truth into people who will speak gospel truth into people who will speak gospel truth into your life that you're like okay yes we your life that you're like okay yes we your life that you're like okay yes we can be friends but we are because the can be friends but we are because the can be friends but we are because the gospel is at the center we move forward gospel is at the center we move forward gospel is at the center we move forward differently we have a definition of differently we have a definition of differently we have a definition of friendship at our house and Mr Troy friendship at our house and Mr Troy friendship at our house and Mr Troy Simons likes to say it this way cuz you Simons likes to say it this way cuz you Simons likes to say it this way cuz you know we have six boys our oldest is 22 know we have six boys our oldest is 22 know we have six boys our oldest is 22 our youngest is 11 and he likes to our youngest is 11 and he likes to our youngest is 11 and he likes to repeat this regularly at our house a repeat this regularly at our house a repeat this regularly at our house a good friend or a friend a true friend is good friend or a friend a true friend is good friend or a friend a true friend is somebody who causes you to love Christ somebody who causes you to love Christ somebody who causes you to love Christ more and he likes to Define it that way more and he likes to Define it that way more and he likes to Define it that way so that we don't get off track because so that we don't get off track because so that we don't get off track because it's just so easy to be like are my it's just so easy to be like are my it's just so easy to be like are my friends the people that I like to do friends the people that I like to do friends the people that I like to do things with or the people who think I am things with or the people who think I am things with or the people who think I am cool or that you know there's just a lot cool or that you know there's just a lot cool or that you know there's just a lot of ways translate that to middle-aged 40 of ways translate that to middle-aged 40 of ways translate that to middle-aged 40 some year old 40 something year old some year old 40 something year old some year old 40 something year old women like we have our version of that women like we have our version of that women like we have our version of that like what what is friendship is it just like what what is friendship is it just like what what is friendship is it just um somebody who I can network with is it um somebody who I can network with is it um somebody who I can network with is it somebody who can get me further is it somebody who can get me further is it somebody who can get me further is it somebody who likes the way I dress and somebody who likes the way I dress and somebody who likes the way I dress and shops at the same places if we're shops at the same places if we're shops at the same places if we're defining it that way then we're going to defining it that way then we're going to defining it that way then we're going to be real fickle about like oh is this is be real fickle about like oh is this is be real fickle about like oh is this is this quote friendship benefiting me but

this quote friendship benefiting me but this quote friendship benefiting me but if you define it like okay a true friend if you define it like okay a true friend if you define it like okay a true friend is somebody who causes me to run the is somebody who causes me to run the is somebody who causes me to run the race better to love Jesus more then you race better to love Jesus more then you race better to love Jesus more then you can have lots of acquaintances you can can have lots of acquaintances you can can have lots of acquaintances you can have shopping buddies you can have lot have shopping buddies you can have lot have shopping buddies you can have lot and and thankfully I feel like I could and and thankfully I feel like I could and and thankfully I feel like I could shop and enjoy that with all of you cuz shop and enjoy that with all of you cuz shop and enjoy that with all of you cuz everybody wants to shop with let's be everybody wants to shop with let's be everybody wants to shop with let's be for real likey you got to stop wearing for real likey you got to stop wearing for real likey you got to stop wearing the same with Grace L and book writing I the same with Grace L and book writing I the same with Grace L and book writing I am going to be a stylist I mean like am going to be a stylist I mean like am going to be a stylist I mean like that's by real love language but and that's by real love language but and that's by real love language but and that's just a bonus right it's a bonus that's just a bonus right it's a bonus that's just a bonus right it's a bonus if you love cooking with somebody or if you love cooking with somebody or if you love cooking with somebody or decorating your home with somebody but decorating your home with somebody but decorating your home with somebody but if you keep in mind you got to run this if you keep in mind you got to run this if you keep in mind you got to run this race of life with somebody who and a race of life with somebody who and a race of life with somebody who and a group of somebody's who will cause you group of somebody's who will cause you group of somebody's who will cause you to love Jesus more it causes you to be a to love Jesus more it causes you to be a to love Jesus more it causes you to be a better friend and to also be more better friend and to also be more better friend and to also be more Discerning about how to share your life Discerning about how to share your life Discerning about how to share your life with others in in your spheres of with others in in your spheres of with others in in your spheres of influence and what I love about this influence and what I love about this influence and what I love about this story is actually took risk on your part story is actually took risk on your part story is actually took risk on your part I mean it's scary to go to someone that I mean it's scary to go to someone that I mean it's scary to go to someone that you maybe don't know that well we didn't you maybe don't know that well we didn't you maybe don't know that well we didn't know each other at all yeah and what you know each other at all yeah and what you know each other at all yeah and what you took the risk was to see her rather than took the risk was to see her rather than took the risk was to see her rather than to make assumptions and I think a lot of to make assumptions and I think a lot of to make assumptions and I think a lot of times we make assumptions I might have times we make assumptions I might have times we make assumptions I might have said oh she's got enough people I'm sure said oh she's got enough people I'm sure said oh she's got enough people I'm sure someone is saying something encouraging someone is saying something encouraging someone is saying something encouraging to her she doesn't need me and you took to her she doesn't need me and you took to her she doesn't need me and you took the risk to see her and say maybe 10 the risk to see her and say maybe 10 the risk to see her and say maybe 10 other people are saying this but I'm other people are saying this but I'm other people are saying this but I'm going to say it too I think that that's going to say it too I think that that's going to say it too I think that that's it Melissa so many times we think it Melissa so many times we think it Melissa so many times we think something about someone that could be something about someone that could be something about someone that could be encouraging and edifying and preach the encouraging and edifying and preach the encouraging and edifying and preach the gospel to think oh somebody else is gospel to think oh somebody else is gospel to think oh somebody else is probably saying that to them as opposed probably saying that to them as opposed probably saying that to them as opposed to can I have a mindset that when I

to can I have a mindset that when I to can I have a mindset that when I think something good about someone I think something good about someone I think something good about someone I tell them and I share it with them tell them and I share it with them tell them and I share it with them because that's the Holy Spirit nudging because that's the Holy Spirit nudging because that's the Holy Spirit nudging you to speak gospel truth into their you to speak gospel truth into their you to speak gospel truth into their life to build them up in Christ and you life to build them up in Christ and you life to build them up in Christ and you did that Ruth it was a very brave moment did that Ruth it was a very brave moment did that Ruth it was a very brave moment on your part because you could have on your part because you could have on your part because you could have thought well who am I to say anything to thought well who am I to say anything to thought well who am I to say anything to her and and you I needed to hear gospel her and and you I needed to hear gospel her and and you I needed to hear gospel truth from your lips because it actually truth from your lips because it actually truth from your lips because it actually formed me more like Christ that what I formed me more like Christ that what I formed me more like Christ that what I brought in that conference was really brought in that conference was really brought in that conference was really impacted by what you impacted by what you impacted by what you said well let me direct this back to you said well let me direct this back to you said well let me direct this back to you an so when we're looking for qualities an so when we're looking for qualities an so when we're looking for qualities in gospel friendship because you know if in gospel friendship because you know if in gospel friendship because you know if you're out in the audience you're you're out in the audience you're you're out in the audience you're thinking wow I'd love some of those thinking wow I'd love some of those thinking wow I'd love some of those friends and I want us to think about it friends and I want us to think about it friends and I want us to think about it it's really easy to think sometimes it's really easy to think sometimes it's really easy to think sometimes about what we want in a friend um but about what we want in a friend um but about what we want in a friend um but also how we can be that friend so like also how we can be that friend so like also how we can be that friend so like how can we be the friend to someone else how can we be the friend to someone else how can we be the friend to someone else what qualities make gospel centered what qualities make gospel centered what qualities make gospel centered friendships as you think back and we can friendships as you think back and we can friendships as you think back and we can all answer this um what qualities to all answer this um what qualities to all answer this um what qualities to look for in a gospel centered friend and look for in a gospel centered friend and look for in a gospel centered friend and what qualities should we be trying to what qualities should we be trying to what qualities should we be trying to emulate as we want to be those Ministry emulate as we want to be those Ministry emulate as we want to be those Ministry Partners I think sometimes when we think Partners I think sometimes when we think Partners I think sometimes when we think about Instagram friends that can be about Instagram friends that can be about Instagram friends that can be about wearing a mask to keep up about wearing a mask to keep up about wearing a mask to keep up appearances is and I think when we think appearances is and I think when we think appearances is and I think when we think about Ministry partnership friends about Ministry partnership friends about Ministry partnership friends that's about friends that are helping that's about friends that are helping that's about friends that are helping each other put on the armor of Christ so each other put on the armor of Christ so each other put on the armor of Christ so we can keep company with Christ and I we can keep company with Christ and I we can keep company with Christ and I think um I think really it's about our

think um I think really it's about our think um I think really it's about our people on Mission that where they're people on Mission that where they're people on Mission that where they're really focused their eyes are on Jesus really focused their eyes are on Jesus really focused their eyes are on Jesus all of the time so that the words of the all of the time so that the words of the all of the time so that the words of the mouth the meditations of the heart are mouth the meditations of the heart are mouth the meditations of the heart are about pointing other people to Jesus about pointing other people to Jesus about pointing other people to Jesus like that really is at the heart of like that really is at the heart of like that really is at the heart of their life I think Ruth you have done their life I think Ruth you have done their life I think Ruth you have done that beautifully over and over again so that beautifully over and over again so that beautifully over and over again so it's someone who is Mission centered it's someone who is Mission centered it's someone who is Mission centered it's somebody who's I think real first it's somebody who's I think real first it's somebody who's I think real first of all good Ministry Partners know that of all good Ministry Partners know that of all good Ministry Partners know that they're not good that they actually they're not good that they actually they're not good that they actually desperately need Jesus that every day desperately need Jesus that every day desperately need Jesus that every day that they know that they are in need of that they know that they are in need of that they know that they are in need of more of Jesus I think real Ministry more of Jesus I think real Ministry more of Jesus I think real Ministry Partners don't go ahead and compare Partners don't go ahead and compare Partners don't go ahead and compare right they champion each other in the right they champion each other in the right they champion each other in the causes of Christ I think real Ministry causes of Christ I think real Ministry causes of Christ I think real Ministry partners are not about striving to go partners are not about striving to go partners are not about striving to go higher but are always they are it's higher but are always they are it's higher but are always they are it's about downward Mobility it's about going about downward Mobility it's about going about downward Mobility it's about going lower to the least in the lonely and the lower to the least in the lonely and the lower to the least in the lonely and the lost and I think real Ministry partners lost and I think real Ministry partners lost and I think real Ministry partners aren't about um they're not about aren't about um they're not about aren't about um they're not about personal personal personal veneration they're not about um they veneration they're not about um they veneration they're not about um they literally are about abiding in the vine literally are about abiding in the vine literally are about abiding in the vine so that they are producing true fruit so that they are producing true fruit so that they are producing true fruit not duct tape on fruit and I just um I not duct tape on fruit and I just um I not duct tape on fruit and I just um I just really appreciate each of you I just really appreciate each of you I just really appreciate each of you I mean even that Zoom call that we all got mean even that Zoom call that we all got mean even that Zoom call that we all got on Ruth you got on to that call and you on Ruth you got on to that call and you on Ruth you got on to that call and you just shared very vulnerably where you just shared very vulnerably where you just shared very vulnerably where you were at and I had been reading in were at and I had been reading in were at and I had been reading in Jeremiah something that I had found Jeremiah something that I had found Jeremiah something that I had found really profound shared it on that call really profound shared it on that call really profound shared it on that call and then Melissa you share what happened

and then Melissa you share what happened and then Melissa you share what happened I know so she had shared this verse and I know so she had shared this verse and I know so she had shared this verse and we were all like oh we all needed to we were all like oh we all needed to we were all like oh we all needed to hear that I mean I was coming in just hear that I mean I was coming in just hear that I mean I was coming in just like exhausted and weary we were all like exhausted and weary we were all like exhausted and weary we were all kind of exhausted and weary and you kind of exhausted and weary and you kind of exhausted and weary and you shared this just such an encouragement shared this just such an encouragement shared this just such an encouragement to keep keep pressing on well then the to keep keep pressing on well then the to keep keep pressing on well then the next morning I open Daily Light it's my next morning I open Daily Light it's my next morning I open Daily Light it's my favorite little devotional it's all favorite little devotional it's all favorite little devotional it's all scripture and the Very verse that an had scripture and the Very verse that an had scripture and the Very verse that an had shared with us was the very first verse shared with us was the very first verse shared with us was the very first verse of Daily Light the next morning and so of Daily Light the next morning and so of Daily Light the next morning and so one of the beautiful things you realize one of the beautiful things you realize one of the beautiful things you realize in Friendship it's never just the four in Friendship it's never just the four in Friendship it's never just the four of us the holy spirit is there and so of us the holy spirit is there and so of us the holy spirit is there and so he's saying yep I'm here too I'm your he's saying yep I'm here too I'm your he's saying yep I'm here too I'm your real friend and friendship with me real friend and friendship with me real friend and friendship with me abiding in the vine connects you with abiding in the vine connects you with abiding in the vine connects you with others in a way that secular Friendship others in a way that secular Friendship others in a way that secular Friendship Never Can you know I mean it's just Never Can you know I mean it's just Never Can you know I mean it's just those moments where you're like oh Jesus those moments where you're like oh Jesus those moments where you're like oh Jesus is with us I think about how if the goal is with us I think about how if the goal is with us I think about how if the goal of friendship is that we cross the of friendship is that we cross the of friendship is that we cross the finish line of this race and whether finish line of this race and whether finish line of this race and whether your friend needs to like have that push your friend needs to like have that push your friend needs to like have that push like you're like pushing her over the like you're like pushing her over the like you're like pushing her over the finish line or you're Crossing it with finish line or you're Crossing it with finish line or you're Crossing it with your arms you know locked we're we're your arms you know locked we're we're your arms you know locked we're we're seeing each other through this journey seeing each other through this journey seeing each other through this journey um with Jesus and so perseverance is one um with Jesus and so perseverance is one um with Jesus and so perseverance is one of those qualities is that when we sign of those qualities is that when we sign of those qualities is that when we sign up to be friends with one another we're up to be friends with one another we're up to be friends with one another we're not saying it's just con out of not saying it's just con out of not saying it's just con out of convenience it's not going to be convenience it's not going to be convenience it's not going to be convenient I can't think of one good convenient I can't think of one good convenient I can't think of one good friendship has that has ever felt like friendship has that has ever felt like friendship has that has ever felt like this is really easy and convenient and I this is really easy and convenient and I this is really easy and convenient and I have to make zero sacrifices right I have to make zero sacrifices right I have to make zero sacrifices right I think that's why you know Paul says in

think that's why you know Paul says in think that's why you know Paul says in Philippians 2:3 consider one another Philippians 2:3 consider one another Philippians 2:3 consider one another more important than yourselves like you more important than yourselves like you more important than yourselves like you can't do friendship without being like can't do friendship without being like can't do friendship without being like what is the need of my friend even if what is the need of my friend even if what is the need of my friend even if this is not actually fitting my life this is not actually fitting my life this is not actually fitting my life perfectly or if I just want everybody to perfectly or if I just want everybody to perfectly or if I just want everybody to ask about me like I need to ask about ask about me like I need to ask about ask about me like I need to ask about somebody else I need to be there for her somebody else I need to be there for her somebody else I need to be there for her and so I think about when you we could and so I think about when you we could and so I think about when you we could go down the list of so many qualities go down the list of so many qualities go down the list of so many qualities but I think one of the qualities we but I think one of the qualities we but I think one of the qualities we could really like keep our eye on is could really like keep our eye on is could really like keep our eye on is that we're trying to if if we are that we're trying to if if we are that we're trying to if if we are actually saying hey we want to make actually saying hey we want to make actually saying hey we want to make friends that cause us to love Jesus more friends that cause us to love Jesus more friends that cause us to love Jesus more then we actually have to sign up for the then we actually have to sign up for the then we actually have to sign up for the persevering of doing that together persevering of doing that together persevering of doing that together knowing that there are going to be times knowing that there are going to be times knowing that there are going to be times when that person you're friends with is when that person you're friends with is when that person you're friends with is not really a great good friend and you not really a great good friend and you not really a great good friend and you have to for give and you have to have to for give and you have to have to for give and you have to reconcile and you have to work through reconcile and you have to work through reconcile and you have to work through the the aspects of friendship that the the aspects of friendship that the the aspects of friendship that happen in life that will not be um easy happen in life that will not be um easy happen in life that will not be um easy and convenient all the time just even and convenient all the time just even and convenient all the time just even that idea of perseverance I remember that idea of perseverance I remember that idea of perseverance I remember reading once that it is theologically reading once that it is theologically reading once that it is theologically sound to expect your friends to fail you sound to expect your friends to fail you sound to expect your friends to fail you and so to be ready on the front end and so to be ready on the front end and so to be ready on the front end knowing what your response will be and knowing what your response will be and knowing what your response will be and that has shaped me in really significant that has shaped me in really significant that has shaped me in really significant ways that that's exactly right and when ways that that's exactly right and when ways that that's exactly right and when I find that in another person that I I find that in another person that I I find that in another person that I know that that person is going to bear know that that person is going to bear know that that person is going to bear with they're going to persevere with all with they're going to persevere with all with they're going to persevere with all the ways I fail them um it is a the ways I fail them um it is a the ways I fail them um it is a beautiful thing because that is that is beautiful thing because that is that is beautiful thing because that is that is being Christ to someone that is showing

being Christ to someone that is showing being Christ to someone that is showing them the love of Christ because he bears them the love of Christ because he bears them the love of Christ because he bears with us and he never leaves us and he with us and he never leaves us and he with us and he never leaves us and he never forsakes us and so when you find never forsakes us and so when you find never forsakes us and so when you find people that do that with you through all people that do that with you through all people that do that with you through all of um you know of um you know of um you know the the weaknesses and faults and and the the weaknesses and faults and and the the weaknesses and faults and and vices and everything that we all have vices and everything that we all have vices and everything that we all have because the more you know somebody the because the more you know somebody the because the more you know somebody the more you know those things and so to more you know those things and so to more you know those things and so to know that I have friends that are know that I have friends that are know that I have friends that are willing to persevere and then the other willing to persevere and then the other willing to persevere and then the other thing I would add is another P I'm thing I would add is another P I'm thing I would add is another P I'm alliterating I love this I'm like real alliterating I love this I'm like real alliterating I love this I'm like real time alliterating I feel like an artist time alliterating I feel like an artist time alliterating I feel like an artist right now it's with me so persevere and right now it's with me so persevere and right now it's with me so persevere and presence um I'm just really impressed presence um I'm just really impressed presence um I'm just really impressed with myself right with myself right with myself right now I mean I just don't ever do this so now I mean I just don't ever do this so now I mean I just don't ever do this so um or patience patience is another um or patience patience is another um or patience patience is another patience we just keep going this is patience we just keep going this is patience we just keep going this is precious look at this oh my um but precious look at this oh my um but precious look at this oh my um but presence like the ministry of presence presence like the ministry of presence presence like the ministry of presence showing up and just being it it makes showing up and just being it it makes showing up and just being it it makes all the difference in the world one of all the difference in the world one of all the difference in the world one of my biggest regrets I have a good friend my biggest regrets I have a good friend my biggest regrets I have a good friend whose mother passed away and I did not whose mother passed away and I did not whose mother passed away and I did not go to her mother's funeral and I regret go to her mother's funeral and I regret go to her mother's funeral and I regret it so much because I because I believe it so much because I because I believe it so much because I because I believe so strongly in the ministry of presence so strongly in the ministry of presence so strongly in the ministry of presence in being there in being there in being there so part of that yeah I believe in the so part of that yeah I believe in the so part of that yeah I believe in the ministry of muffins and the casserole it ministry of muffins and the casserole it ministry of muffins and the casserole it it really is it with the presence of I it really is it with the presence of I it really is it with the presence of I will show up for you in the midst of will show up for you in the midst of will show up for you in the midst of your valleys and when I come with with your valleys and when I come with with your valleys and when I come with with my my casserole my meatloaf and the my my casserole my meatloaf and the my my casserole my meatloaf and the muffins I'm I'm actually being the hands

muffins I'm I'm actually being the hands muffins I'm I'm actually being the hands and feet of heart Jesus to you so I do and feet of heart Jesus to you so I do and feet of heart Jesus to you so I do not underestimate the ministry of saying not underestimate the ministry of saying not underestimate the ministry of saying I'm not going to I'm not going to show I'm not going to I'm not going to show I'm not going to I'm not going to show up just once but I mean after my father up just once but I mean after my father up just once but I mean after my father passed away one of my friends Marlene passed away one of my friends Marlene passed away one of my friends Marlene showed up she showed up with dinner five showed up she showed up with dinner five showed up she showed up with dinner five times over the course of that first times over the course of that first times over the course of that first month so it's going showing up again and month so it's going showing up again and month so it's going showing up again and again and again I think we alluded again and again I think we alluded again and again I think we alluded alluded to this and we're making an alluded to this and we're making an alluded to this and we're making an assumption that this is true but maybe assumption that this is true but maybe assumption that this is true but maybe we should say this out loud that if we should say this out loud that if we should say this out loud that if we're going to show up for people if we're going to show up for people if we're going to show up for people if we're going to persevere if we're going we're going to persevere if we're going we're going to persevere if we're going to have presence I'm like thinking of to have presence I'm like thinking of to have presence I'm like thinking of all the PWS then we're actually going to all the PWS then we're actually going to all the PWS then we're actually going to have to be vulnerable and real right you have to be vulnerable and real right you have to be vulnerable and real right you can't really do that and be like every can't really do that and be like every can't really do that and be like every single time I show up looking and single time I show up looking and single time I show up looking and feeling my best I'm having the best day feeling my best I'm having the best day feeling my best I'm having the best day no you show up even when it's hard um I no you show up even when it's hard um I no you show up even when it's hard um I think about the ministry of presence think about the ministry of presence think about the ministry of presence when you invite somebody over or the when you invite somebody over or the when you invite somebody over or the ministry of castal when you invite ministry of castal when you invite ministry of castal when you invite somebody over and your house is not somebody over and your house is not somebody over and your house is not clean and your kids are not super well clean and your kids are not super well clean and your kids are not super well behaved and you are putting away you behaved and you are putting away you behaved and you are putting away you know three-day old laundry or whatever know three-day old laundry or whatever know three-day old laundry or whatever that is that is real friendship right that is that is real friendship right that is that is real friendship right that's really um so that vulnerability that's really um so that vulnerability that's really um so that vulnerability we like to use the word vulnerability we we like to use the word vulnerability we we like to use the word vulnerability we like to say you know we want to be with like to say you know we want to be with like to say you know we want to be with a real friend that you can be real raw a real friend that you can be real raw a real friend that you can be real raw with but I think it's not just about with but I think it's not just about with but I think it's not just about venting right sometimes we're like we're venting right sometimes we're like we're venting right sometimes we're like we're really real with each other because we really real with each other because we really real with each other because we just complain you know that's not real just complain you know that's not real just complain you know that's not real if you're not pointing it's not really if you're not pointing it's not really if you're not pointing it's not really edifying if you're not pointing and edifying if you're not pointing and edifying if you're not pointing and speaking gospel back to one another but speaking gospel back to one another but speaking gospel back to one another but inviting them into the real and inviting inviting them into the real and inviting inviting them into the real and inviting them into the messy and then not yet

them into the messy and then not yet them into the messy and then not yet figured out the answers not yet I mean figured out the answers not yet I mean figured out the answers not yet I mean the prayers that are not yet fully the prayers that are not yet fully the prayers that are not yet fully answered inviting one another into that answered inviting one another into that answered inviting one another into that and then speaking gospel in the midst of and then speaking gospel in the midst of and then speaking gospel in the midst of all that all that all that is real friendship and is really um is is real friendship and is really um is is real friendship and is really um is really a Ministry to be and not just the really a Ministry to be and not just the really a Ministry to be and not just the messy house right my messy Heart Like messy house right my messy Heart Like messy house right my messy Heart Like come into my messy mind I mean you know come into my messy mind I mean you know come into my messy mind I mean you know the things that I think and the the ways the things that I think and the the ways the things that I think and the the ways that I feel and the ways like that's the that I feel and the ways like that's the that I feel and the ways like that's the mess that I need multiple gospel friends mess that I need multiple gospel friends mess that I need multiple gospel friends to to be willing to step into um yeah to to be willing to step into um yeah to to be willing to step into um yeah well as we talked about like things well as we talked about like things well as we talked about like things we're looking for in friendships and we're looking for in friendships and we're looking for in friendships and things we hope to be I think there's things we hope to be I think there's things we hope to be I think there's also real place where we can can and also real place where we can can and also real place where we can can and this is kind of hitting at this expect this is kind of hitting at this expect this is kind of hitting at this expect too much in Friendship um and I think too much in Friendship um and I think too much in Friendship um and I think you you maybe we've all even felt that you you maybe we've all even felt that you you maybe we've all even felt that expectation too much and I know I've had expectation too much and I know I've had expectation too much and I know I've had times when I've expected too much in times when I've expected too much in times when I've expected too much in Friendship so I don't know Ruth if you Friendship so I don't know Ruth if you Friendship so I don't know Ruth if you can talk to this a little bit like I can talk to this a little bit like I can talk to this a little bit like I think there is the reality um of think there is the reality um of think there is the reality um of loneliness for us all yeah I I so you loneliness for us all yeah I I so you loneliness for us all yeah I I so you know I think anytime you find something know I think anytime you find something know I think anytime you find something or somebody disappointing I mean I hope or somebody disappointing I mean I hope or somebody disappointing I mean I hope I'm not the only one that sometimes I'm not the only one that sometimes I'm not the only one that sometimes feels like they didn't meet my feels like they didn't meet my feels like they didn't meet my expectations um most of the time I can expectations um most of the time I can expectations um most of the time I can trace that pack to an area of my life trace that pack to an area of my life trace that pack to an area of my life where I am putting my hope in something where I am putting my hope in something where I am putting my hope in something or somebody other than Jesus so I think or somebody other than Jesus so I think or somebody other than Jesus so I think in this friendship conversation we have in this friendship conversation we have in this friendship conversation we have to start with saying okay friendship is to start with saying okay friendship is to start with saying okay friendship is a gift we are meant to walk in community

a gift we are meant to walk in community a gift we are meant to walk in community we are meant to walk with others but we are meant to walk with others but we are meant to walk with others but friendship was never meant to take the friendship was never meant to take the friendship was never meant to take the place of the true friend of Christ so place of the true friend of Christ so place of the true friend of Christ so meaning if you're sitting here today meaning if you're sitting here today meaning if you're sitting here today going going going I would be a better believer if I had I would be a better believer if I had I would be a better believer if I had friends and what you know I I can't I friends and what you know I I can't I friends and what you know I I can't I can't do this because I have no friends can't do this because I have no friends can't do this because I have no friends well I would start by saying you have well I would start by saying you have well I would start by saying you have access to the best friend possible start access to the best friend possible start access to the best friend possible start there pour out your heart and say Lord I there pour out your heart and say Lord I there pour out your heart and say Lord I I would love for you to open up I would love for you to open up I would love for you to open up opportunities and a lot of times I find opportunities and a lot of times I find opportunities and a lot of times I find um I don't know let me just get real um I don't know let me just get real um I don't know let me just get real honest here I think there are times honest here I think there are times honest here I think there are times there have been times in my life where I there have been times in my life where I there have been times in my life where I thought I didn't have any friends but I thought I didn't have any friends but I thought I didn't have any friends but I wasn't really responding to the people wasn't really responding to the people wasn't really responding to the people right in front of me has that ever right in front of me has that ever right in front of me has that ever happened to you where you kind of go happened to you where you kind of go happened to you where you kind of go well I have this ideal in my mind and my well I have this ideal in my mind and my well I have this ideal in my mind and my expectation of how friendship should expectation of how friendship should expectation of how friendship should look or what it should be like but the look or what it should be like but the look or what it should be like but the Lord brought somebody and I'm Lord brought somebody and I'm Lord brought somebody and I'm like you know I don't know like I don't like you know I don't know like I don't like you know I don't know like I don't I don't know um so I would just say they I don't know um so I would just say they I don't know um so I would just say they were better in theory I mean I'm just were better in theory I mean I'm just were better in theory I mean I'm just saying like that's a real honest picture saying like that's a real honest picture saying like that's a real honest picture of how sometimes we don't even realize of how sometimes we don't even realize of how sometimes we don't even realize how the Lord is like bringing people how the Lord is like bringing people how the Lord is like bringing people into our lives because we have such like into our lives because we have such like into our lives because we have such like idealistic ideas of how things should be idealistic ideas of how things should be idealistic ideas of how things should be and so I guess the the first part of and so I guess the the first part of and so I guess the the first part of answering that and like addressing that answering that and like addressing that answering that and like addressing that is that we all need to do a little bit is that we all need to do a little bit is that we all need to do a little bit of self assessing and saying hey have I of self assessing and saying hey have I of self assessing and saying hey have I really turned to Christ for my deepest really turned to Christ for my deepest really turned to Christ for my deepest longings right for that because longings right for that because longings right for that because loneliness is real wanting to be seen loneliness is real wanting to be seen loneliness is real wanting to be seen and loved and know that you belong and loved and know that you belong and loved and know that you belong that's all part of the gift of that's all part of the gift of that's all part of the gift of friendship but if we don't turn to

friendship but if we don't turn to friendship but if we don't turn to Christ first for that belonging for that Christ first for that belonging for that Christ first for that belonging for that value for that knowing that I matter value for that knowing that I matter value for that knowing that I matter then no friendship will ever SA then no friendship will ever SA then no friendship will ever SA nothing will ever truly satisfy yeah I nothing will ever truly satisfy yeah I nothing will ever truly satisfy yeah I think for me every time I I feel that think for me every time I I feel that think for me every time I I feel that loneliness loneliness loneliness craving that actually is a light on my craving that actually is a light on my craving that actually is a light on my dashboard say oh I was made for dashboard say oh I was made for dashboard say oh I was made for communion ultimately with Christ so when communion ultimately with Christ so when communion ultimately with Christ so when I have that craving it's like oh that's I have that craving it's like oh that's I have that craving it's like oh that's the Holy Spirit unto me and Come Away the Holy Spirit unto me and Come Away the Holy Spirit unto me and Come Away With Me open up scripture spend time With Me open up scripture spend time With Me open up scripture spend time with me pray Journal so that ultimately with me pray Journal so that ultimately with me pray Journal so that ultimately we have a we have a god-shaped hole in we have a we have a god-shaped hole in we have a we have a god-shaped hole in our hearts that is isn't going to ever our hearts that is isn't going to ever our hearts that is isn't going to ever be filled by anybody else it's only be filled by anybody else it's only be filled by anybody else it's only going to be filled by Christ alone so going to be filled by Christ alone so going to be filled by Christ alone so using that first and foremost as my my using that first and foremost as my my using that first and foremost as my my red warning light on my emotional red warning light on my emotional red warning light on my emotional dashboard Come Away with me and and I dashboard Come Away with me and and I dashboard Come Away with me and and I think sometimes without loneliness can think sometimes without loneliness can think sometimes without loneliness can also be as an introvert I can I can kind also be as an introvert I can I can kind also be as an introvert I can I can kind of just turtle in my own shell and and of just turtle in my own shell and and of just turtle in my own shell and and using oh the Lord made me for Community using oh the Lord made me for Community using oh the Lord made me for Community he made me to be part of a body so if he made me to be part of a body so if he made me to be part of a body so if I'm lonely I'm waiting for someone to I'm lonely I'm waiting for someone to I'm lonely I'm waiting for someone to come to me no I can keeping company with come to me no I can keeping company with come to me no I can keeping company with Christ I can reach out to somebody else Christ I can reach out to somebody else Christ I can reach out to somebody else supposed to saying oh how come nobody supposed to saying oh how come nobody supposed to saying oh how come nobody ever sees me I can get into this pity ever sees me I can get into this pity ever sees me I can get into this pity party in my head Asos what well who can party in my head Asos what well who can party in my head Asos what well who can I reach out to right now who feels on I reach out to right now who feels on I reach out to right now who feels on the outside who feels my who am I the outside who feels my who am I the outside who feels my who am I overlooking in my life right now that I overlooking in my life right now that I overlooking in my life right now that I could be the ministry of presence I could be the ministry of presence I could be the ministry of presence I could be more like Jesus to that person could be more like Jesus to that person could be more like Jesus to that person so using that that loneliness also as a

so using that that loneliness also as a so using that that loneliness also as a as a warning light on my dashboard oh as a warning light on my dashboard oh as a warning light on my dashboard oh this is the holy spirit saying and who this is the holy spirit saying and who this is the holy spirit saying and who can you reach out to right now can you reach out to right now can you reach out to right now and also looking around and realizing and also looking around and realizing and also looking around and realizing like no one person is going to have all like no one person is going to have all like no one person is going to have all of the characteristics and the of the characteristics and the of the characteristics and the attributes right we put that weight on attributes right we put that weight on attributes right we put that weight on someone and know one person but to look someone and know one person but to look someone and know one person but to look around and say man Lord thank you for around and say man Lord thank you for around and say man Lord thank you for this one friend who has such a gift of this one friend who has such a gift of this one friend who has such a gift of encouragement and thank you for this one encouragement and thank you for this one encouragement and thank you for this one friend who models what it looks like to friend who models what it looks like to friend who models what it looks like to live Faithfully in her neighborhood and live Faithfully in her neighborhood and live Faithfully in her neighborhood and thank you for this one friend who really thank you for this one friend who really thank you for this one friend who really does show up or I get the text from I does show up or I get the text from I does show up or I get the text from I mean it it it needs to be and we've mean it it it needs to be and we've mean it it it needs to be and we've talked about this a lot even just the talked about this a lot even just the talked about this a lot even just the four of us that um we don't want um four of us that um we don't want um four of us that um we don't want um stagnant ponds of friendships those are stagnant ponds of friendships those are stagnant ponds of friendships those are clicks those are not healthy those clicks those are not healthy those clicks those are not healthy those become inbred like we want friends in become inbred like we want friends in become inbred like we want friends in lots of different places and you know I lots of different places and you know I lots of different places and you know I benefit in my friendship with Ruth benefit in my friendship with Ruth benefit in my friendship with Ruth because of who she's friends with in you because of who she's friends with in you because of who she's friends with in you know in different places and same with know in different places and same with know in different places and same with Melissa and so we want to have a Melissa and so we want to have a Melissa and so we want to have a plurality of friendships and to be plurality of friendships and to be plurality of friendships and to be grateful for what the Lord's doing in grateful for what the Lord's doing in grateful for what the Lord's doing in each of those in each of those each of those in each of those each of those in each of those friendships and I think too so often um friendships and I think too so often um friendships and I think too so often um when we come and maybe we're in a season when we come and maybe we're in a season when we come and maybe we're in a season where our friendships are lacking and we where our friendships are lacking and we where our friendships are lacking and we are genuinely lonely I think our natural are genuinely lonely I think our natural are genuinely lonely I think our natural reaction is to work it up in ourself and reaction is to work it up in ourself and reaction is to work it up in ourself and say okay I'm G to go I'm G to F find say okay I'm G to go I'm G to F find say okay I'm G to go I'm G to F find these people and start chasing people

these people and start chasing people these people and start chasing people down rather than just saying Lord I'm down rather than just saying Lord I'm down rather than just saying Lord I'm lonely um Lord I really want a gospel lonely um Lord I really want a gospel lonely um Lord I really want a gospel friend um I'm going to sit here and I'm friend um I'm going to sit here and I'm friend um I'm going to sit here and I'm going to just pray and ask you will you going to just pray and ask you will you going to just pray and ask you will you show me you know who I can reach out to show me you know who I can reach out to show me you know who I can reach out to who I can love who I can pursue but will who I can love who I can pursue but will who I can love who I can pursue but will you also just provide I mean it's we you also just provide I mean it's we you also just provide I mean it's we need friends um and I think so often we need friends um and I think so often we need friends um and I think so often we forget to pray for them we forget to forget to pray for them we forget to forget to pray for them we forget to pray that we would have them that we'd pray that we would have them that we'd pray that we would have them that we'd have gospel partners and that the Lord have gospel partners and that the Lord have gospel partners and that the Lord would provide that force and he can would provide that force and he can would provide that force and he can because it's a good thing to ask for and because it's a good thing to ask for and because it's a good thing to ask for and we can ask well and we all know I'm we can ask well and we all know I'm we can ask well and we all know I'm going to butcher it but we all know that going to butcher it but we all know that going to butcher it but we all know that Lewis quote about friendship right I Lewis quote about friendship right I Lewis quote about friendship right I have actually you have it right here can have actually you have it right here can have actually you have it right here can you do it can you yeah fine I only know you do it can you yeah fine I only know you do it can you yeah fine I only know the punchline I don't know the actual the punchline I don't know the actual the punchline I don't know the actual clot two friends don't spend is this the clot two friends don't spend is this the clot two friends don't spend is this the one you're thinking of no it's not it one you're thinking of no it's not it one you're thinking of no it's not it might be though keep going keep going it might be though keep going keep going it might be though keep going keep going it might be the other part I only know that might be the other part I only know that might be the other part I only know that true friends I've thought a lot about true friends I've thought a lot about true friends I've thought a lot about this true friends don't spend time this true friends don't spend time this true friends don't spend time gazing into each other's eyes they may gazing into each other's eyes they may gazing into each other's eyes they may show great tenderness towards each other show great tenderness towards each other show great tenderness towards each other but they face in the same direction but they face in the same direction but they face in the same direction toward common projects goals above all toward common projects goals above all toward common projects goals above all toward a common Lord and I think toward a common Lord and I think toward a common Lord and I think sometimes in Friendship we can stare at sometimes in Friendship we can stare at sometimes in Friendship we can stare at each other sorry I failed I failed I each other sorry I failed I failed I each other sorry I failed I failed I failed you lose failed you lose failed you lose something like you like like you lose something like you like like you lose something like you like like you lose something of that person now you're something of that person now you're something of that person now you're making me question whether I even know making me question whether I even know making me question whether I even know that C Lewis I know it is you all know that C Lewis I know it is you all know that C Lewis I know it is you all know what I'm talking about it's the line what I'm talking about it's the line what I'm talking about it's the line where he says um in Friendship is when

where he says um in Friendship is when where he says um in Friendship is when somebody describes what's going on and somebody describes what's going on and somebody describes what's going on and then they go you too that's that's the then they go you too that's that's the then they go you too that's that's the right we know this one somebody pull up right we know this one somebody pull up right we know this one somebody pull up that quote now I feel like I can that that quote now I feel like I can that that quote now I feel like I can that was so eloquent an you like literally was so eloquent an you like literally was so eloquent an you like literally just read this beautiful quote I was just read this beautiful quote I was just read this beautiful quote I was like the whole quote is you to um but like the whole quote is you to um but like the whole quote is you to um but that's what friendship is right that's that's what friendship is right that's that's what friendship is right that's what I feel is that friendship is when what I feel is that friendship is when what I feel is that friendship is when you're like oh you're per menopausal too you're like oh you're per menopausal too you're like oh you're per menopausal too why are you looking at me well I mean why are you looking at me well I mean why are you looking at me well I mean I'm like oh hey those I'm like oh hey those I'm like oh hey those were you like hot flashes and rage were you like hot flashes and rage were you like hot flashes and rage happen to you too we're friends now I happen to you too we're friends now I happen to you too we're friends now I mean so so if if if the you two okay mean so so if if if the you two okay mean so so if if if the you two okay that's the whole quote you two if the that's the whole quote you two if the that's the whole quote you two if the you two is friendship then guess what you two is friendship then guess what you two is friendship then guess what you actually have to share what's going you actually have to share what's going you actually have to share what's going on so I think about how often we're on so I think about how often we're on so I think about how often we're sitting there and and to to Melissa's sitting there and and to to Melissa's sitting there and and to to Melissa's point we do need to pray and rather than point we do need to pray and rather than point we do need to pray and rather than go out there and be like how many groups go out there and be like how many groups go out there and be like how many groups can I sign up for and make a friend so can I sign up for and make a friend so can I sign up for and make a friend so yes let's do pray about it but sometimes yes let's do pray about it but sometimes yes let's do pray about it but sometimes we're sitting there kind of going yeah we're sitting there kind of going yeah we're sitting there kind of going yeah I'm so lonely why isn't anybody asking I'm so lonely why isn't anybody asking I'm so lonely why isn't anybody asking me about me when really you could go up me about me when really you could go up me about me when really you could go up to to somebody and say guess what's to to somebody and say guess what's to to somebody and say guess what's going on in my life I'd love to share going on in my life I'd love to share going on in my life I'd love to share because then that's an opportunity for because then that's an opportunity for because then that's an opportunity for her to say you too you see how that her to say you too you see how that her to say you too you see how that works and so I just think it's a it's a works and so I just think it's a it's a works and so I just think it's a it's a it's a doubling like you we both pray it's a doubling like you we both pray it's a doubling like you we both pray and sit still and ask the Lord to and sit still and ask the Lord to and sit still and ask the Lord to provide but we also put ourselves out provide but we also put ourselves out provide but we also put ourselves out there and say I'm going to share enough there and say I'm going to share enough there and say I'm going to share enough so that you have an opportunity to you so that you have an opportunity to you so that you have an opportunity to you to me you know like actually like to me you know like actually like to me you know like actually like respond so so we've had so many good CS

respond so so we've had so many good CS respond so so we've had so many good CS Lewis quotes cuz I love the other one Lewis quotes cuz I love the other one Lewis quotes cuz I love the other one that you said said about um you know that you said said about um you know that you said said about um you know when he's talking about friendship and when he's talking about friendship and when he's talking about friendship and one of their friends had died in their one of their friends had died in their one of their friends had died in their close community and he said I will close community and he said I will close community and he said I will actually lose something of every other actually lose something of every other actually lose something of every other friend because he said there's something friend because he said there's something friend because he said there's something I can't remember the Nam so this is I can't remember the Nam so this is I can't remember the Nam so this is going to be Melissa making it up there's going to be Melissa making it up there's going to be Melissa making it up there's something that's lost when Rob is no something that's lost when Rob is no something that's lost when Rob is no longer in that Community because I don't longer in that Community because I don't longer in that Community because I don't see how you know Bob lights up when he see how you know Bob lights up when he see how you know Bob lights up when he makes that joke anymore and so this is makes that joke anymore and so this is makes that joke anymore and so this is the thing it's what you were saying it's the thing it's what you were saying it's the thing it's what you were saying it's not a stagnant pool there's actually not a stagnant pool there's actually not a stagnant pool there's actually more we get out of one another when we more we get out of one another when we more we get out of one another when we have openness in friendships I can't have openness in friendships I can't have openness in friendships I can't believe that's an actual CS Lewis quote believe that's an actual CS Lewis quote believe that's an actual CS Lewis quote because Mr Troy Simons actually I've because Mr Troy Simons actually I've because Mr Troy Simons actually I've asked him before I'm like how come you asked him before I'm like how come you asked him before I'm like how come you never struggle with jealousy like how never struggle with jealousy like how never struggle with jealousy like how come you don't seem jealous that you come you don't seem jealous that you come you don't seem jealous that you make this friend and that friend is now make this friend and that friend is now make this friend and that friend is now really good friends with so and so like really good friends with so and so like really good friends with so and so like Mark really likes Paul and they were Mark really likes Paul and they were Mark really likes Paul and they were your friends first and he goes oh babe your friends first and he goes oh babe your friends first and he goes oh babe it's actually so cool to be all together it's actually so cool to be all together it's actually so cool to be all together because Mark brings something out in because Mark brings something out in because Mark brings something out in Paul that I wouldn't get to experience Paul that I wouldn't get to experience Paul that I wouldn't get to experience otherwise and I was like oh I'm going to otherwise and I was like oh I'm going to otherwise and I was like oh I'm going to work on that that's work on that that's work on that that's awesome yeah so so moving on from CS awesome yeah so so moving on from CS awesome yeah so so moving on from CS Lewis who's great um I thought what Lewis who's great um I thought what Lewis who's great um I thought what about scripture what does about scripture what does about scripture what does Scripture tell us about friendship I you Scripture tell us about friendship I you Scripture tell us about friendship I you know and this was literally a question know and this was literally a question know and this was literally a question so I was like but like as we think about so I was like but like as we think about so I was like but like as we think about the scriptures how does it even guide us

the scriptures how does it even guide us the scriptures how does it even guide us and an I had directed this to you but and an I had directed this to you but and an I had directed this to you but anyone can answer how does the how do anyone can answer how does the how do anyone can answer how does the how do the scriptures guide us on one how to be the scriptures guide us on one how to be the scriptures guide us on one how to be a good friend and how to look for a good friend and how to look for a good friend and how to look for Ministry Partners I don't know if y'all Ministry Partners I don't know if y'all Ministry Partners I don't know if y'all have any yeah I think um in the Old have any yeah I think um in the Old have any yeah I think um in the Old Testament I mean really I mean it's Testament I mean really I mean it's Testament I mean really I mean it's unbelievable you can see all the way unbelievable you can see all the way unbelievable you can see all the way through the Old Testament God himself through the Old Testament God himself through the Old Testament God himself befriends man which is mindblowing and befriends man which is mindblowing and befriends man which is mindblowing and God says his character is he has HED God says his character is he has HED God says his character is he has HED love this loyal faithful love but then love this loyal faithful love but then love this loyal faithful love but then you see it also in the Old Testament you see it also in the Old Testament you see it also in the Old Testament Ruth her said loving kindness loyal Ruth her said loving kindness loyal Ruth her said loving kindness loyal faithfulness to Naomi wherever you go I faithfulness to Naomi wherever you go I faithfulness to Naomi wherever you go I will go your people will be my people will go your people will be my people will go your people will be my people where you die I will die I think when we where you die I will die I think when we where you die I will die I think when we think about Ministry Partners it goes think about Ministry Partners it goes think about Ministry Partners it goes back really to what we said about back really to what we said about back really to what we said about perseverance and endurance I I have her perseverance and endurance I I have her perseverance and endurance I I have her said love for you I have loyal love for said love for you I have loyal love for said love for you I have loyal love for you when something happens between us you when something happens between us you when something happens between us that has said love means I'm going to that has said love means I'm going to that has said love means I'm going to believe the best in this situation when believe the best in this situation when believe the best in this situation when you're going through a trial I'm not you're going through a trial I'm not you're going through a trial I'm not going to be one of those fair weather going to be one of those fair weather going to be one of those fair weather friends but I am going to um Grant lots friends but I am going to um Grant lots friends but I am going to um Grant lots of Grace and lots of space but I'm also of Grace and lots of space but I'm also of Grace and lots of space but I'm also going to be the friend who's going to be going to be the friend who's going to be going to be the friend who's going to be on my face praying for you and as the on my face praying for you and as the on my face praying for you and as the Lord gives me scripture I'm going to Lord gives me scripture I'm going to Lord gives me scripture I'm going to send that scripture to you and trust send that scripture to you and trust send that scripture to you and trust that the Lord is going to use it I had a that the Lord is going to use it I had a that the Lord is going to use it I had a friend um recently who's going through a friend um recently who's going through a friend um recently who's going through a very difficult time and every morning very difficult time and every morning very difficult time and every morning while I'm doing my own scripture reading while I'm doing my own scripture reading while I'm doing my own scripture reading I am praying and asking Lord Lord is I am praying and asking Lord Lord is I am praying and asking Lord Lord is there a verse here in your word that I there a verse here in your word that I there a verse here in your word that I could send to that friend and it's could send to that friend and it's could send to that friend and it's happened in the last month three

happened in the last month three happened in the last month three different times different times different times oh she's texted back and the verse that oh she's texted back and the verse that oh she's texted back and the verse that you sent me someone else sent me the you sent me someone else sent me the you sent me someone else sent me the exact same verse this morning again exact same verse this morning again exact same verse this morning again evidence of the Holy Spirit moving evidence of the Holy Spirit moving evidence of the Holy Spirit moving between friendship so that H said love between friendship so that H said love between friendship so that H said love and kindness if it's actually modeling and kindness if it's actually modeling and kindness if it's actually modeling the friendship that Jesus himself gives the friendship that Jesus himself gives the friendship that Jesus himself gives us that H said loyal faithful enduring us that H said loyal faithful enduring us that H said loyal faithful enduring steadfast love for someone that that steadfast love for someone that that steadfast love for someone that that isn't tossed about by the waves of isn't tossed about by the waves of isn't tossed about by the waves of circumstances and what's convenient and circumstances and what's convenient and circumstances and what's convenient and what isn't convenient what isn't convenient what isn't convenient so I think to really pray Lord who are so I think to really pray Lord who are so I think to really pray Lord who are you calling me to live out of said you calling me to live out of said you calling me to live out of said loving kindness that um I will give loving kindness that um I will give loving kindness that um I will give winess to I will be like Jesus who gives winess to I will be like Jesus who gives winess to I will be like Jesus who gives winess to us and I will give witness to winess to us and I will give witness to winess to us and I will give witness to the God who sees us Lord who are you the God who sees us Lord who are you the God who sees us Lord who are you calling me to be with and show witness calling me to be with and show witness calling me to be with and show witness to because every life needs lifers to because every life needs lifers to because every life needs lifers people who will stay in the room for people who will stay in the room for people who will stay in the room for life like Jesus stays and loves us when life like Jesus stays and loves us when life like Jesus stays and loves us when it's unmar when we don't deserve it when it's unmar when we don't deserve it when it's unmar when we don't deserve it when we have done everything to be that we we have done everything to be that we we have done everything to be that we deserve to be abandoned can we be the deserve to be abandoned can we be the deserve to be abandoned can we be the kind of friend who doesn't abandon each kind of friend who doesn't abandon each kind of friend who doesn't abandon each other that H said love and kindness that other that H said love and kindness that other that H said love and kindness that truly lives out gospel Grace and Mercy truly lives out gospel Grace and Mercy truly lives out gospel Grace and Mercy to each other I love that and not just I to each other I love that and not just I to each other I love that and not just I think we live in kind of a cultural think we live in kind of a cultural think we live in kind of a cultural moment right now where it's you know moment right now where it's you know moment right now where it's you know we're we're almost being called to be we're we're almost being called to be we're we're almost being called to be each other's hype girls and instead each other's hype girls and instead each other's hype girls and instead somebody that I discipled for years gave somebody that I discipled for years gave somebody that I discipled for years gave me a little wooden block that I keep on me a little wooden block that I keep on me a little wooden block that I keep on my bookshelf and it says you know it's my bookshelf and it says you know it's my bookshelf and it says you know it's Proverbs faithful are the wounds of a Proverbs faithful are the wounds of a Proverbs faithful are the wounds of a friend and I like I believe that because

friend and I like I believe that because friend and I like I believe that because that that faithful love that hassid love that that faithful love that hassid love that that faithful love that hassid love that steadfast love it isn't just hyping that steadfast love it isn't just hyping that steadfast love it isn't just hyping someone up and I don't I don't need I someone up and I don't I don't need I someone up and I don't I don't need I need someone who's willing to wound me need someone who's willing to wound me need someone who's willing to wound me for the greater good for my for the greater good for my for the greater good for my sanctification for for my own growth and sanctification for for my own growth and sanctification for for my own growth and spiritual formation and so so being that spiritual formation and so so being that spiritual formation and so so being that faithful friend is being with willing to faithful friend is being with willing to faithful friend is being with willing to to do even being willing to risk to do even being willing to risk to do even being willing to risk encouragement and being willing to risk encouragement and being willing to risk encouragement and being willing to risk speaking truth um when somebody does speaking truth um when somebody does speaking truth um when somebody does that for me I know that is a person I that for me I know that is a person I that for me I know that is a person I can trust I know that is a person I can can trust I know that is a person I can can trust I know that is a person I can trust that they will that that that trust that they will that that that trust that they will that that that their faithfulness is so for me that their faithfulness is so for me that their faithfulness is so for me that they're willing to risk saying something they're willing to risk saying something they're willing to risk saying something hard um and I want to be that kind of hard um and I want to be that kind of hard um and I want to be that kind of friend everybody's like I I don't want friend everybody's like I I don't want friend everybody's like I I don't want you to be my friend then but that's you you to be my friend then but that's you you to be my friend then but that's you know but I want to be willing to risk it know but I want to be willing to risk it know but I want to be willing to risk it well I think shame dies when we share well I think shame dies when we share well I think shame dies when we share our stories in safe places and when you our stories in safe places and when you our stories in safe places and when you have a said faithful love to somebody have a said faithful love to somebody have a said faithful love to somebody you are in a safe place that person's you are in a safe place that person's you are in a safe place that person's not going to abandon you I am here for not going to abandon you I am here for not going to abandon you I am here for the Long Haul um actually um my daughter the Long Haul um actually um my daughter the Long Haul um actually um my daughter two of our sons married two sisters so two of our sons married two sisters so two of our sons married two sisters so their mother is my son's mother-in-laws their mother is my son's mother-in-laws their mother is my son's mother-in-laws twice over anyways Sue who is here at twice over anyways Sue who is here at twice over anyways Sue who is here at the gospel col conference um Sue has the gospel col conference um Sue has the gospel col conference um Sue has been so faithful to me um to see

been so faithful to me um to see been so faithful to me um to see sometimes she goes to see beyond the sometimes she goes to see beyond the sometimes she goes to see beyond the surface to go oh is this a motivation surface to go oh is this a motivation surface to go oh is this a motivation that's happening in your heart and we that's happening in your heart and we that's happening in your heart and we text me and say you know you don't have text me and say you know you don't have text me and say you know you don't have to act out of that at all I I see where to act out of that at all I I see where to act out of that at all I I see where you're going and her her text it is it's you're going and her her text it is it's you're going and her her text it is it's about forming me more cruciform it's about forming me more cruciform it's about forming me more cruciform it's those texts can be so sanctifying to me those texts can be so sanctifying to me those texts can be so sanctifying to me like oh she sees something in me that I like oh she sees something in me that I like oh she sees something in me that I don't see right now but she is don't see right now but she is don't see right now but she is vulnerable enough and courageous enough vulnerable enough and courageous enough vulnerable enough and courageous enough and loves me with a said loving kindness and loves me with a said loving kindness and loves me with a said loving kindness enough to speak that into my life to go enough to speak that into my life to go enough to speak that into my life to go oh I can be surrendered in Christ right oh I can be surrendered in Christ right oh I can be surrendered in Christ right now so it it is it's that has said now so it it is it's that has said now so it it is it's that has said loveing kindness the wounds of a friend loveing kindness the wounds of a friend loveing kindness the wounds of a friend is such a gift like we don't want we is such a gift like we don't want we is such a gift like we don't want we don't want yes women in our lives we don't want yes women in our lives we don't want yes women in our lives we want Christ women in our lives to speak want Christ women in our lives to speak want Christ women in our lives to speak truth to us amen and just you know just truth to us amen and just you know just truth to us amen and just you know just so that if you've been through this I so that if you've been through this I so that if you've been through this I mean there are some in this room who mean there are some in this room who mean there are some in this room who have a little PTSD from maybe a have a little PTSD from maybe a have a little PTSD from maybe a friendship that's gone wrong and you friendship that's gone wrong and you friendship that's gone wrong and you feel like you put yourself out there and feel like you put yourself out there and feel like you put yourself out there and you got kind of drug through and you you got kind of drug through and you you got kind of drug through and you feel like your heart got trampled on and feel like your heart got trampled on and feel like your heart got trampled on and um and I think that you know in a short um and I think that you know in a short um and I think that you know in a short breakout like this we can't address all breakout like this we can't address all breakout like this we can't address all of that we're not going to speak the of that we're not going to speak the of that we're not going to speak the truth about every single thing except truth about every single thing except truth about every single thing except the truth that we do not have to protect the truth that we do not have to protect the truth that we do not have to protect ourselves or be like okay well then you ourselves or be like okay well then you ourselves or be like okay well then you know protect ourselves in the sense of know protect ourselves in the sense of know protect ourselves in the sense of like I can't trust anybody I will never like I can't trust anybody I will never like I can't trust anybody I will never I wasn't made for friendship I think we I wasn't made for friendship I think we I wasn't made for friendship I think we have to be Discerning right Discerning have to be Discerning right Discerning have to be Discerning right Discerning and thoughtful and wise about it but in

and thoughtful and wise about it but in and thoughtful and wise about it but in in when we're talking about how we're in when we're talking about how we're in when we're talking about how we're called to that kind of love in Scripture called to that kind of love in Scripture called to that kind of love in Scripture that starts with us trusting Jesus first that starts with us trusting Jesus first that starts with us trusting Jesus first right we trust that the Lord um is right we trust that the Lord um is right we trust that the Lord um is caring for us that at the end of the day caring for us that at the end of the day caring for us that at the end of the day even if shame dies in vulnerability well even if shame dies in vulnerability well even if shame dies in vulnerability well it only dies in vulnerability because we it only dies in vulnerability because we it only dies in vulnerability because we trust that Christ has died our shame trust that Christ has died our shame trust that Christ has died our shame right so the the actual truth is like right so the the actual truth is like right so the the actual truth is like you can confess all the things that's you can confess all the things that's you can confess all the things that's ever happened in your life and somebody ever happened in your life and somebody ever happened in your life and somebody could have hurt you with that could have hurt you with that could have hurt you with that information but if you're sharing that information but if you're sharing that information but if you're sharing that with somebody who genuinely has died to with somebody who genuinely has died to with somebody who genuinely has died to their sin in Christ as well then that their sin in Christ as well then that their sin in Christ as well then that shame is no longer because you bring it shame is no longer because you bring it shame is no longer because you bring it to the table and you're like you won't to the table and you're like you won't to the table and you're like you won't believe what I've gone through or what believe what I've gone through or what believe what I've gone through or what I've done and she says you know what I I've done and she says you know what I I've done and she says you know what I can because Jesus forgave me of the same can because Jesus forgave me of the same can because Jesus forgave me of the same like maybe not the same circumstances like maybe not the same circumstances like maybe not the same circumstances but I totally know what it means and but I totally know what it means and but I totally know what it means and what it feels like to say I have no what it feels like to say I have no what it feels like to say I have no shame because of Jesus and so then you shame because of Jesus and so then you shame because of Jesus and so then you know that you're really bonded not know that you're really bonded not know that you're really bonded not because that person is safe not because because that person is safe not because because that person is safe not because that person can keep your secrets but that person can keep your secrets but that person can keep your secrets but because Jesus is faithful and so I think because Jesus is faithful and so I think because Jesus is faithful and so I think that helps us discern like just because that helps us discern like just because that helps us discern like just because somebody comes up to you and says oh I somebody comes up to you and says oh I somebody comes up to you and says oh I won't ever tell anybody that's that's won't ever tell anybody that's that's won't ever tell anybody that's that's not safy that's like in itself that's not safy that's like in itself that's not safy that's like in itself that's not why you trust somebody or if not why you trust somebody or if not why you trust somebody or if somebody hurt you and they weren't somebody hurt you and they weren't somebody hurt you and they weren't trustworthy that is not a reason to trustworthy that is not a reason to trustworthy that is not a reason to never trust anybody again it's more that never trust anybody again it's more that never trust anybody again it's more that we have to say okay how do I look for we have to say okay how do I look for we have to say okay how do I look for somebody who genuinely knows what it is somebody who genuinely knows what it is somebody who genuinely knows what it is to be a fallen broken person who needs

to be a fallen broken person who needs to be a fallen broken person who needs the Friendship of Christ to to truly put the Friendship of Christ to to truly put the Friendship of Christ to to truly put her back together that's somebody you her back together that's somebody you her back together that's somebody you can trust with with vulnerability my can trust with with vulnerability my can trust with with vulnerability my pastor and I have several women from my pastor and I have several women from my pastor and I have several women from my church here and so I would say first of church here and so I would say first of church here and so I would say first of all your local church is the place to all your local church is the place to all your local church is the place to start this is this is where you're going start this is this is where you're going start this is this is where you're going to find these friends this is I mean to find these friends this is I mean to find these friends this is I mean that is bar and it's why we titled it that is bar and it's why we titled it that is bar and it's why we titled it why Ministry partners are better than why Ministry partners are better than why Ministry partners are better than Instagram friends because the people Instagram friends because the people Instagram friends because the people that you worship and serve and do life that you worship and serve and do life that you worship and serve and do life with in your local church these are the with in your local church these are the with in your local church these are the kind of friendships that we're talking kind of friendships that we're talking kind of friendships that we're talking about but our pastor talks about and I'm about but our pastor talks about and I'm about but our pastor talks about and I'm going to botch it and you know if I need going to botch it and you know if I need going to botch it and you know if I need if you're here and you want to correct if you're here and you want to correct if you're here and you want to correct me you can um but that it is the gospel me you can um but that it is the gospel me you can um but that it is the gospel plus safety plus time and those three plus safety plus time and those three plus safety plus time and those three things like that's what we have to offer things like that's what we have to offer things like that's what we have to offer people that's what that's how spiritual people that's what that's how spiritual people that's what that's how spiritual transformation occurs that's how we have transformation occurs that's how we have transformation occurs that's how we have this faith faithful steadfast love this faith faithful steadfast love this faith faithful steadfast love that's how we have this perseverance that's how we have this perseverance that's how we have this perseverance with people so the gospel safety and with people so the gospel safety and with people so the gospel safety and time and and the Lord does beautiful time and and the Lord does beautiful time and and the Lord does beautiful things when those three things come things when those three things come things when those three things come together so good and just to add to this together so good and just to add to this together so good and just to add to this I'm always looking for people who are I'm always looking for people who are I'm always looking for people who are missional and and I I really mean Great missional and and I I really mean Great missional and and I I really mean Great Commission women who know their biggest Commission women who know their biggest Commission women who know their biggest mission in life is to glorify God and mission in life is to glorify God and mission in life is to glorify God and enjoy him forever and so sometimes I enjoy him forever and so sometimes I enjoy him forever and so sometimes I think it can be tempting and we all have think it can be tempting and we all have think it can be tempting and we all have to really look at our own hearts are we to really look at our own hearts are we to really look at our own hearts are we looking for the friend who's got their looking for the friend who's got their looking for the friend who's got their really nice beach house who and she really nice beach house who and she really nice beach house who and she might take us to the nice beach house or

might take us to the nice beach house or might take us to the nice beach house or you know are we looking for the friend you know are we looking for the friend you know are we looking for the friend yeah I mean there are people you can be yeah I mean there are people you can be yeah I mean there are people you can be saying I want to be that person's friend saying I want to be that person's friend saying I want to be that person's friend and you have to kind of ask yourself in and you have to kind of ask yourself in and you have to kind of ask yourself in your heart why do I want to be that your heart why do I want to be that your heart why do I want to be that person's friend why you know how person's friend why you know how person's friend why you know how sometimes you feel like oh I'll really sometimes you feel like oh I'll really sometimes you feel like oh I'll really arrive when I get with that friend well arrive when I get with that friend well arrive when I get with that friend well the most visional person who might be the most visional person who might be the most visional person who might be the best friend to you you know she the best friend to you you know she the best friend to you you know she might not look like you look she might might not look like you look she might might not look like you look she might you know live in a different part of you know live in a different part of you know live in a different part of town she might I mean she might be very town she might I mean she might be very town she might I mean she might be very different than you but she's on Mission different than you but she's on Mission different than you but she's on Mission and she will be on Mission with you and and she will be on Mission with you and and she will be on Mission with you and you two will find yourself I think of you two will find yourself I think of you two will find yourself I think of some of these people in my life we find some of these people in my life we find some of these people in my life we find ourselves needeed deep in the Bible ourselves needeed deep in the Bible ourselves needeed deep in the Bible together and we're you know one good together and we're you know one good together and we're you know one good friend we wrote this Bible study friend we wrote this Bible study friend we wrote this Bible study together and we're just talking about it together and we're just talking about it together and we're just talking about it each day and we're both in it and we're each day and we're both in it and we're each day and we're both in it and we're we're never talking about our we're never talking about our we're never talking about our friendship we're talking about the word friendship we're talking about the word friendship we're talking about the word and getting it to other people and this and getting it to other people and this and getting it to other people and this good friend in that season of life she good friend in that season of life she good friend in that season of life she was not in the same season as me we're was not in the same season as me we're was not in the same season as me we're in completely different seasons like in completely different seasons like in completely different seasons like completely different stages of life and completely different stages of life and completely different stages of life and she was one of my dearest friends she was one of my dearest friends she was one of my dearest friends because we were in the word together so because we were in the word together so because we were in the word together so we could serve the church together and we could serve the church together and we could serve the church together and that missional it's going to take you that missional it's going to take you that missional it's going to take you outside of your box and sometimes that's outside of your box and sometimes that's outside of your box and sometimes that's going to be a little bit uncomfortable going to be a little bit uncomfortable going to be a little bit uncomfortable cuz it's it's really nice to say oh I'm cuz it's it's really nice to say oh I'm cuz it's it's really nice to say oh I'm only going to have friends who have only going to have friends who have only going to have friends who have toddlers just like me or I'm only going toddlers just like me or I'm only going toddlers just like me or I'm only going to have friends who are in the workplace to have friends who are in the workplace to have friends who are in the workplace just like me or I'm only going to have just like me or I'm only going to have just like me or I'm only going to have friends who look just like me find

friends who look just like me find friends who look just like me find missional friends who will be with you missional friends who will be with you missional friends who will be with you on Mission because they will spur you on on Mission because they will spur you on on Mission because they will spur you on and you will spur them on and and you and you will spur them on and and you and you will spur them on and and you work together which is just that sorry work together which is just that sorry work together which is just that sorry CS leis but back to that quote that real CS leis but back to that quote that real CS leis but back to that quote that real friendship isn't about us looking at friendship isn't about us looking at friendship isn't about us looking at each other real friendship is about us each other real friendship is about us each other real friendship is about us looking P like out there to the world looking P like out there to the world looking P like out there to the world that needs Jesus as looking to the cross that needs Jesus as looking to the cross that needs Jesus as looking to the cross and that that that's not that that and that that that's not that that and that that that's not that that transcends demographics that transcends transcends demographics that transcends transcends demographics that transcends all the differences between us because all the differences between us because all the differences between us because we're focused on Jesus and that is we're focused on Jesus and that is we're focused on Jesus and that is what's fueling us with this passion to what's fueling us with this passion to what's fueling us with this passion to share the gospel hope that we have in share the gospel hope that we have in share the gospel hope that we have in Christ that's what we have in common Christ that's what we have in common Christ that's what we have in common exactly well and so all of this type of exactly well and so all of this type of exactly well and so all of this type of living takes risk we've talked about living takes risk we've talked about living takes risk we've talked about this a little bit um but Ruth can you this a little bit um but Ruth can you this a little bit um but Ruth can you take us even deeper and how is it risky take us even deeper and how is it risky take us even deeper and how is it risky to let people in to be vulnerable to to let people in to be vulnerable to to let people in to be vulnerable to live on Mission with people because live on Mission with people because live on Mission with people because we've also as you even said earlier we've also as you even said earlier we've also as you even said earlier we've all dealt with harm and we've all dealt with harm and we've all dealt with harm and friendships like that's a that's a friendships like that's a that's a friendships like that's a that's a reality so why is it still worth the reality so why is it still worth the reality so why is it still worth the risk to to go into friendships how can risk to to go into friendships how can risk to to go into friendships how can we do that well well I think we um we we do that well well I think we um we we do that well well I think we um we all learn as we grow and learn and we're all learn as we grow and learn and we're all learn as we grow and learn and we're not going to get it all right and I not going to get it all right and I not going to get it all right and I think we grow in our friendships when we think we grow in our friendships when we think we grow in our friendships when we grow to be a better friend ourselves I grow to be a better friend ourselves I grow to be a better friend ourselves I think it always starts with us saying think it always starts with us saying think it always starts with us saying okay so that person is taking a risk as okay so that person is taking a risk as okay so that person is taking a risk as well I'm not the only one risking and I well I'm not the only one risking and I well I'm not the only one risking and I I certainly can say you know in my I certainly can say you know in my I certainly can say you know in my almost 49 years I definitely have

almost 49 years I definitely have almost 49 years I definitely have experienced friendships that um that experienced friendships that um that experienced friendships that um that hurt or did that didn't actually hurt or did that didn't actually hurt or did that didn't actually persevere for one reason or another so persevere for one reason or another so persevere for one reason or another so it's I think a lot of times we hear this it's I think a lot of times we hear this it's I think a lot of times we hear this and we go okay I want that perfect and we go okay I want that perfect and we go okay I want that perfect friendship but we all know that there's friendship but we all know that there's friendship but we all know that there's nothing perfect out there we are work in nothing perfect out there we are work in nothing perfect out there we are work in progress we're being IFI day by day each progress we're being IFI day by day each progress we're being IFI day by day each one of us can say I would have done that one of us can say I would have done that one of us can say I would have done that situation a little differently I would situation a little differently I would situation a little differently I would have made a different Choice there or I have made a different Choice there or I have made a different Choice there or I would have said something different and would have said something different and would have said something different and so first of all I think it's really so first of all I think it's really so first of all I think it's really helpful to even begin any relationship helpful to even begin any relationship helpful to even begin any relationship by acknowledging that you're a work in by acknowledging that you're a work in by acknowledging that you're a work in progress and that you want a good friend progress and that you want a good friend progress and that you want a good friend you desire a good friend but that you're you desire a good friend but that you're you desire a good friend but that you're still learning how to be a good friend I still learning how to be a good friend I still learning how to be a good friend I think that that is you know um a good think that that is you know um a good think that that is you know um a good practice for us all but I also think practice for us all but I also think practice for us all but I also think that just in General I think whether that just in General I think whether that just in General I think whether you're thinking about Ministry Partners you're thinking about Ministry Partners you're thinking about Ministry Partners truly as friendships or even Ministry truly as friendships or even Ministry truly as friendships or even Ministry Partnerships right I mean I think in Partnerships right I mean I think in Partnerships right I mean I think in every case we need to think through every case we need to think through every case we need to think through about how we can be Discerning as we go about how we can be Discerning as we go about how we can be Discerning as we go slow I I like the phrase go slow doesn't slow I I like the phrase go slow doesn't slow I I like the phrase go slow doesn't mean that you don't take a big risk or mean that you don't take a big risk or mean that you don't take a big risk or you don't like just go up to somebody you don't like just go up to somebody you don't like just go up to somebody and say can you go to coffee I just mean and say can you go to coffee I just mean and say can you go to coffee I just mean that we don't need to be in such a rush that we don't need to be in such a rush that we don't need to be in such a rush for results in things we don't need to for results in things we don't need to for results in things we don't need to be so quick to be like oh this is a good be so quick to be like oh this is a good be so quick to be like oh this is a good friendship or this is a bad friendship friendship or this is a bad friendship friendship or this is a bad friendship because you've had two weeks of because you've had two weeks of because you've had two weeks of experiences remember that life is a experiences remember that life is a experiences remember that life is a process where there's so much that is process where there's so much that is process where there's so much that is that is being worked out day by day and that is being worked out day by day and that is being worked out day by day and so going slow means that you can invite

so going slow means that you can invite so going slow means that you can invite each other into conversations that are each other into conversations that are each other into conversations that are hard to have on like social media is hard to have on like social media is hard to have on like social media is like one you know 10-word comment that's like one you know 10-word comment that's like one you know 10-word comment that's not really going deeper and going slower not really going deeper and going slower not really going deeper and going slower choose to not have the most important choose to not have the most important choose to not have the most important conversations online where it's snippy conversations online where it's snippy conversations online where it's snippy and quick choose to have conversations and quick choose to have conversations and quick choose to have conversations that matter around your dinner table go that matter around your dinner table go that matter around your dinner table go slow enough that maybe a conversation slow enough that maybe a conversation slow enough that maybe a conversation has to happen after you walk a mile like has to happen after you walk a mile like has to happen after you walk a mile like a literal mile on a walk with somebody a literal mile on a walk with somebody a literal mile on a walk with somebody that takes time right it's not what that takes time right it's not what that takes time right it's not what happens on social media in a chat group happens on social media in a chat group happens on social media in a chat group in a Facebook group that's not not that in a Facebook group that's not not that in a Facebook group that's not not that you can't make a real friend but true you can't make a real friend but true you can't make a real friend but true friendships happen when you take the friendships happen when you take the friendships happen when you take the time and you go slower because that risk time and you go slower because that risk time and you go slower because that risk doesn't feel so dramatic it's like doesn't feel so dramatic it's like doesn't feel so dramatic it's like you're you're risking little by little you're you're risking little by little you're you're risking little by little day by day as you get to know one day by day as you get to know one day by day as you get to know one another and I'm sure sure we've all another and I'm sure sure we've all another and I'm sure sure we've all experienced that feeling of you risked experienced that feeling of you risked experienced that feeling of you risked and then you feel like you just left it and then you feel like you just left it and then you feel like you just left it on the table and that is an awful on the table and that is an awful on the table and that is an awful feeling like why did I do that right it feeling like why did I do that right it feeling like why did I do that right it is and we all feel it I mean that's and is and we all feel it I mean that's and is and we all feel it I mean that's and I think that that's the great equalizer I think that that's the great equalizer I think that that's the great equalizer in friendships one of my favorite in friendships one of my favorite in friendships one of my favorite leadership quotes is that leadership is leadership quotes is that leadership is leadership quotes is that leadership is learning to disappoint people at a rate learning to disappoint people at a rate learning to disappoint people at a rate they can absorb and it's true but I they can absorb and it's true but I they can absorb and it's true but I think friendship might be the same thing think friendship might be the same thing think friendship might be the same thing so the taking it SL so the taking it SL so the taking it SL letting people absorb their letting people absorb their letting people absorb their disappointment in me at a rate they can disappointment in me at a rate they can disappointment in me at a rate they can absorb is probably a healthy a healthy absorb is probably a healthy a healthy absorb is probably a healthy a healthy thing because the reality is the more we thing because the reality is the more we thing because the reality is the more we know each other the more we actually are know each other the more we actually are know each other the more we actually are going to disappoint each other I mean it

going to disappoint each other I mean it going to disappoint each other I mean it just is we fail each other back to what just is we fail each other back to what just is we fail each other back to what I started with we we hurt each other but I started with we we hurt each other but I started with we we hurt each other but that perseverance and that sticking with that perseverance and that sticking with that perseverance and that sticking with it and that being willing to risk and it and that being willing to risk and it and that being willing to risk and the only way back to what Ruth was the only way back to what Ruth was the only way back to what Ruth was saying the only way we can risk it is if saying the only way we can risk it is if saying the only way we can risk it is if we remind ourselves every day where our we remind ourselves every day where our we remind ourselves every day where our identity is we are so safe in Christ we identity is we are so safe in Christ we identity is we are so safe in Christ we are so safe in Christ you he knows the are so safe in Christ you he knows the are so safe in Christ you he knows the mess like he knows the mess and he's not mess like he knows the mess and he's not mess like he knows the mess and he's not going anywhere and so I can just remind going anywhere and so I can just remind going anywhere and so I can just remind myself when I leave a conversation and myself when I leave a conversation and myself when I leave a conversation and I'm like I'm like oh I really H that I'm like I'm like oh I really H that I'm like I'm like oh I really H that felt kind of risky um I disappointed felt kind of risky um I disappointed felt kind of risky um I disappointed them at a rate they couldn't absorb you them at a rate they couldn't absorb you them at a rate they couldn't absorb you know it's a um I remind myself you know know it's a um I remind myself you know know it's a um I remind myself you know what I mean we are boxing this morning what I mean we are boxing this morning what I mean we are boxing this morning about like okay I mean what's the worst about like okay I mean what's the worst about like okay I mean what's the worst you know we stand up in front of a you know we stand up in front of a you know we stand up in front of a couple people and say stupid things it's couple people and say stupid things it's couple people and say stupid things it's okay I mean Jesus is going to love me on okay I mean Jesus is going to love me on okay I mean Jesus is going to love me on Monday like you Monday like you Monday like you know it's not like two people Courtney I know it's not like two people Courtney I know it's not like two people Courtney I know but it doesn't matter it doesn't know but it doesn't matter it doesn't know but it doesn't matter it doesn't matter cuz we're sa in Christ I mean matter cuz we're sa in Christ I mean matter cuz we're sa in Christ I mean this is what we're telling each other this is what we're telling each other this is what we're telling each other this morning right like you can risk this morning right like you can risk this morning right like you can risk these things and I think um I think these things and I think um I think these things and I think um I think sometimes if someone has risked or I've sometimes if someone has risked or I've sometimes if someone has risked or I've risked and it's maybe gone South and risked and it's maybe gone South and risked and it's maybe gone South and some ways and you you feel wounded or some ways and you you feel wounded or some ways and you you feel wounded or they feel wounded I know I'm sitting in they feel wounded I know I'm sitting in they feel wounded I know I'm sitting in the wrong seat at the table if I'm the wrong seat at the table if I'm the wrong seat at the table if I'm sitting in a place of judgment I need to sitting in a place of judgment I need to sitting in a place of judgment I need to always be oh no no I need to be in the always be oh no no I need to be in the always be oh no no I need to be in the seat of Mercy I need all the mercy and seat of Mercy I need all the mercy and seat of Mercy I need all the mercy and Grace from Jesus thus I can extend all

Grace from Jesus thus I can extend all Grace from Jesus thus I can extend all kinds of grace and mercy to someone else kinds of grace and mercy to someone else kinds of grace and mercy to someone else who has disappointed me and failed me who has disappointed me and failed me who has disappointed me and failed me because they're not Jesus could you because they're not Jesus could you because they're not Jesus could you point out Ruth when you talk point out Ruth when you talk point out Ruth when you talk about but I just think to if I if I am about but I just think to if I if I am about but I just think to if I if I am judging a friend let me down in some judging a friend let me down in some judging a friend let me down in some ways I'm in the wrong seat I need to ways I'm in the wrong seat I need to ways I'm in the wrong seat I need to move to I need the mercy from Jesus so I move to I need the mercy from Jesus so I move to I need the mercy from Jesus so I move to that Mercy Seat that I can move to that Mercy Seat that I can move to that Mercy Seat that I can extend the mercy that I have received at extend the mercy that I have received at extend the mercy that I have received at the foot of the cross and I think this the foot of the cross and I think this the foot of the cross and I think this is a really good point because um we've is a really good point because um we've is a really good point because um we've talked a lot about um Good gospel talked a lot about um Good gospel talked a lot about um Good gospel friends will correct you um it's one friends will correct you um it's one friends will correct you um it's one thing to come with a thing to come with a thing to come with a sledgehammer and it's another thing um sledgehammer and it's another thing um sledgehammer and it's another thing um you know when you used to get a splinter you know when you used to get a splinter you know when you used to get a splinter when you were a child I can remember my when you were a child I can remember my when you were a child I can remember my dad coming to get a splinter out and he dad coming to get a splinter out and he dad coming to get a splinter out and he brought a match and that first scared me brought a match and that first scared me brought a match and that first scared me a lot and I realized oh he's going to a lot and I realized oh he's going to a lot and I realized oh he's going to burn the needle and I'm thinking it's burn the needle and I'm thinking it's burn the needle and I'm thinking it's now hot you but he was so tender you now hot you but he was so tender you now hot you but he was so tender you know he would know he would know he would tenderly see that splinter and you know tenderly see that splinter and you know tenderly see that splinter and you know what my dad wasn't doing it to wound me what my dad wasn't doing it to wound me what my dad wasn't doing it to wound me he was doing it because he knew I had he was doing it because he knew I had he was doing it because he knew I had something under my skin that would get something under my skin that would get something under my skin that would get infected and harm my whole body and so infected and harm my whole body and so infected and harm my whole body and so he tenderly for me would come and get my he tenderly for me would come and get my he tenderly for me would come and get my splinter out it's another thing to have splinter out it's another thing to have splinter out it's another thing to have people who come at you with a people who come at you with a people who come at you with a sledgehammer and it's really about them sledgehammer and it's really about them sledgehammer and it's really about them being right and them shoving you down being right and them shoving you down being right and them shoving you down okay so so let's be clear when we all okay so so let's be clear when we all okay so so let's be clear when we all talk about this that's that seat of talk about this that's that seat of talk about this that's that seat of judgment they put you they judge and judgment they put you they judge and judgment they put you they judge and jury over you that's not love they may

jury over you that's not love they may jury over you that's not love they may claim it's love but love comes at you claim it's love but love comes at you claim it's love but love comes at you with the needle and says I love you with the needle and says I love you with the needle and says I love you enough to say this isn't good for you enough to say this isn't good for you enough to say this isn't good for you what you're doing how you're living it's what you're doing how you're living it's what you're doing how you're living it's never going to lead to your flourishing never going to lead to your flourishing never going to lead to your flourishing um and that's a gospel friend um and um and that's a gospel friend um and um and that's a gospel friend um and that's what we're all looking for in that's what we're all looking for in that's what we're all looking for in this life is someone who is tender with this life is someone who is tender with this life is someone who is tender with us I love that we'll go to Tim Keller us I love that we'll go to Tim Keller us I love that we'll go to Tim Keller quotes how about that um I love the Tim quotes how about that um I love the Tim quotes how about that um I love the Tim it's actually a marriage quote it's my it's actually a marriage quote it's my it's actually a marriage quote it's my favorite in his meaning of marriage but favorite in his meaning of marriage but favorite in his meaning of marriage but I think it applies to Friendship um he I think it applies to Friendship um he I think it applies to Friendship um he talked about um seeing someone's um what talked about um seeing someone's um what talked about um seeing someone's um what did he say their Glory self when you get did he say their Glory self when you get did he say their Glory self when you get to heaven and he said that when he was to heaven and he said that when he was to heaven and he said that when he was you know again I'm not hting well what you know again I'm not hting well what you know again I'm not hting well what he what what he couldn't wait was to get he what what he couldn't wait was to get he what what he couldn't wait was to get to heaven one day and he was going to to heaven one day and he was going to to heaven one day and he was going to see Kathy in her glory self and look at see Kathy in her glory self and look at see Kathy in her glory self and look at her and say I always knew you could be her and say I always knew you could be her and say I always knew you could be like that and you know that's what we're like that and you know that's what we're like that and you know that's what we're looking for is someone who looks at you looking for is someone who looks at you looking for is someone who looks at you and me and said I always knew you could and me and said I always knew you could and me and said I always knew you could be like that um and that's what we're be like that um and that's what we're be like that um and that's what we're looking for in friendship and we are at looking for in friendship and we are at looking for in friendship and we are at the end of our time so I'm going to the end of our time so I'm going to the end of our time so I'm going to actually end us there but go out into actually end us there but go out into actually end us there but go out into the world see other people's Glory self the world see other people's Glory self the world see other people's Glory self and look for people who will see yours and look for people who will see yours and look for people who will see yours we thanks for being we thanks for being we thanks for being here we hope you enjoyed this video here we hope you enjoyed this video here we hope you enjoyed this video who's someone you know that would also who's someone you know that would also who's someone you know that would also be encouraged by it you should send this be encouraged by it you should send this be encouraged by it you should send this to them the Gospel Coalition provides to them the Gospel Coalition provides to them the Gospel Coalition provides trusted timely and gospel centered trusted timely and gospel centered trusted timely and gospel centered resources to help each of us in our

resources to help each of us in our resources to help each of us in our ministry and our life so join in that ministry and our life so join in that ministry and our life so join in that mission and share this video with a mission and share this video with a mission and share this video with a friend friend friend [Music]