Finding Hope When Life Falls Apart

I'm Bena Risner and I'm going to talk I'm Bena Risner and I'm going to talk about finding hope when life falls about finding hope when life falls about finding hope when life falls apart I was 7 years old when I decided apart I was 7 years old when I decided apart I was 7 years old when I decided that life wasn't fair that I couldn't that life wasn't fair that I couldn't that life wasn't fair that I couldn't trust anyone and that God was not good trust anyone and that God was not good trust anyone and that God was not good you see when I was seven a group of boys you see when I was seven a group of boys you see when I was seven a group of boys threw stones at me when they saw me threw stones at me when they saw me threw stones at me when they saw me walking walking walking alone they laughed as they imitated the alone they laughed as they imitated the alone they laughed as they imitated the way that I walked and they screamed out way that I walked and they screamed out way that I walked and they screamed out you're a you're a you're a then one of the boys knocked me then one of the boys knocked me then one of the boys knocked me down and they ran down and they ran down and they ran away I crawled over to a nearby Rock away I crawled over to a nearby Rock away I crawled over to a nearby Rock pulled myself up and walked the short pulled myself up and walked the short pulled myself up and walked the short distance distance distance home I didn't tell anyone what happened home I didn't tell anyone what happened home I didn't tell anyone what happened that day I was too that day I was too that day I was too embarrassed but that day I decided that embarrassed but that day I decided that embarrassed but that day I decided that I couldn't trust anyone to protect me I couldn't trust anyone to protect me I couldn't trust anyone to protect me especially God especially God especially God maybe today you feel that way maybe today you feel that way maybe today you feel that way too I felt that way for a long time that too I felt that way for a long time that too I felt that way for a long time that I couldn't trust God even after I met I couldn't trust God even after I met I couldn't trust God even after I met Jesus because I thought knowing Jesus Jesus because I thought knowing Jesus Jesus because I thought knowing Jesus would protect me from would protect me from would protect me from tragedy and it tragedy and it tragedy and it didn't and yet in my deepest pain God didn't and yet in my deepest pain God didn't and yet in my deepest pain God met met met me I felt his love and his presence in me I felt his love and his presence in me I felt his love and his presence in ways that I hadn't before ways that I hadn't before ways that I hadn't before which is why I write and speak about

which is why I write and speak about which is why I write and speak about suffering because I want others to suffering because I want others to suffering because I want others to experience that experience that experience that too and my prayer is that you will meet too and my prayer is that you will meet too and my prayer is that you will meet God in your suffering and discover that God in your suffering and discover that God in your suffering and discover that he is he is he is faithful today I'm going to tell you a faithful today I'm going to tell you a faithful today I'm going to tell you a little bit of my story and then talk little bit of my story and then talk little bit of my story and then talk about three anchors that I cling to when about three anchors that I cling to when about three anchors that I cling to when life falls life falls life falls apart these anchors have grounded my apart these anchors have grounded my apart these anchors have grounded my faith but I'm going to start with my faith but I'm going to start with my faith but I'm going to start with my story so I was born in India to story so I was born in India to story so I was born in India to Christian parents and when I was 3 Christian parents and when I was 3 Christian parents and when I was 3 months old I contracted months old I contracted months old I contracted polio now the doctors had not seen polio polio now the doctors had not seen polio polio now the doctors had not seen polio the vaccine had been developed years the vaccine had been developed years the vaccine had been developed years earlier and so the doctor thought I had earlier and so the doctor thought I had earlier and so the doctor thought I had typhoid and she gave me cortisone which typhoid and she gave me cortisone which typhoid and she gave me cortisone which lowered my 105 degree fever but within a lowered my 105 degree fever but within a lowered my 105 degree fever but within a few days I was a few days I was a few days I was a quadriplegic and then the doctor said uh quadriplegic and then the doctor said uh quadriplegic and then the doctor said uh we think she had po we think she had po we think she had po but it was too late so they told my but it was too late so they told my but it was too late so they told my parents to leave India which we did so I parents to leave India which we did so I parents to leave India which we did so I had um my first we moved to England had um my first we moved to England had um my first we moved to England where I had my first surgery and then we where I had my first surgery and then we where I had my first surgery and then we moved to Canada where I started having moved to Canada where I started having moved to Canada where I started having operations I had 21 operations by the operations I had 21 operations by the operations I had 21 operations by the time I was time I was time I was 13 and I I did learn to walk though and 13 and I I did learn to walk though and 13 and I I did learn to walk though and led a pretty normal life which is led a pretty normal life which is led a pretty normal life which is amazing as I look back on it but as a amazing as I look back on it but as a amazing as I look back on it but as a child I didn't think that was amazing I

child I didn't think that was amazing I child I didn't think that was amazing I thought my life was so much harder than thought my life was so much harder than thought my life was so much harder than everybody else's I was bullied I lived everybody else's I was bullied I lived everybody else's I was bullied I lived in and out of the hospital and people in and out of the hospital and people in and out of the hospital and people would talk to me saying God is good and would talk to me saying God is good and would talk to me saying God is good and I would say God is not good God has not I would say God is not good God has not I would say God is not good God has not done anything for me and I was pretty done anything for me and I was pretty done anything for me and I was pretty angry so when I got but when I got to angry so when I got but when I got to angry so when I got but when I got to high school I got involved in FCA high school I got involved in FCA high school I got involved in FCA Fellowship of Christian athletes now I Fellowship of Christian athletes now I Fellowship of Christian athletes now I tell people it wasn't because I was an tell people it wasn't because I was an tell people it wasn't because I was an athlete or a chrisan I just wanted to athlete or a chrisan I just wanted to athlete or a chrisan I just wanted to fellowship with the athletes which I did fellowship with the athletes which I did fellowship with the athletes which I did uh a friend and I would sit in the back uh a friend and I would sit in the back uh a friend and I would sit in the back and talk about boys because we did not and talk about boys because we did not and talk about boys because we did not take the god stuff too seriously but take the god stuff too seriously but take the god stuff too seriously but then one day she went away on a retreat then one day she went away on a retreat then one day she went away on a retreat and she came back and said God is real and she came back and said God is real and she came back and said God is real and I remember thinking oh no she's and I remember thinking oh no she's and I remember thinking oh no she's going to want to talk about God and she going to want to talk about God and she going to want to talk about God and she did that's all she wanted to talk about did that's all she wanted to talk about did that's all she wanted to talk about so one night I just went home and I said so one night I just went home and I said so one night I just went home and I said God if you are real God if you are real God if you are real please show please show please show me I didn't think anything of it and me I didn't think anything of it and me I didn't think anything of it and then the next day got up picked up a then the next day got up picked up a then the next day got up picked up a Bible I had never read before but we had Bible I had never read before but we had Bible I had never read before but we had one in our house and um I just said God one in our house and um I just said God one in our house and um I just said God show me and I flipped open to the Bible show me and I flipped open to the Bible show me and I flipped open to the Bible open the Bible and I wouldn't recommend open the Bible and I wouldn't recommend open the Bible and I wouldn't recommend this but I flipped open to Leviticus and this but I flipped open to Leviticus and this but I flipped open to Leviticus and I started reading about skin boils hair I started reading about skin boils hair I started reading about skin boils hair and skin boils and I was like this is and skin boils and I was like this is and skin boils and I was like this is what I think about the Bible and then I what I think about the Bible and then I what I think about the Bible and then I just said why if you're real why did just said why if you're real why did just said why if you're real why did this this this happen and I flipped to John N it's

happen and I flipped to John N it's happen and I flipped to John N it's passage where the disciples um pass a passage where the disciples um pass a passage where the disciples um pass a man who was blind from birth and they man who was blind from birth and they man who was blind from birth and they asked Jesus who sinned this man or his asked Jesus who sinned this man or his asked Jesus who sinned this man or his parents that he was born parents that he was born parents that he was born blind that had my attention I was blind that had my attention I was blind that had my attention I was thinking okay that's my question like thinking okay that's my question like thinking okay that's my question like who did something that this happened to who did something that this happened to who did something that this happened to me and Jesus says it was not that this me and Jesus says it was not that this me and Jesus says it was not that this man sinned or his parents that he was man sinned or his parents that he was man sinned or his parents that he was born blind it was that the work of God born blind it was that the work of God born blind it was that the work of God would be displayed in his would be displayed in his would be displayed in his life I was pretty stunned God was life I was pretty stunned God was life I was pretty stunned God was answering the question that I had asked answering the question that I had asked answering the question that I had asked that the disciples asked which is why that the disciples asked which is why that the disciples asked which is why but God was answering me a very but God was answering me a very but God was answering me a very different way why not whose fault was it different way why not whose fault was it different way why not whose fault was it but why what was the purpose and the but why what was the purpose and the but why what was the purpose and the purpose of my suffering was to bring purpose of my suffering was to bring purpose of my suffering was to bring glory to God glory to God glory to God now I didn't even know what that meant now I didn't even know what that meant now I didn't even know what that meant but I knew God was talking to me and I but I knew God was talking to me and I but I knew God was talking to me and I knelt down by the side of my bed and knelt down by the side of my bed and knelt down by the side of my bed and committed my life to a God I did not committed my life to a God I did not committed my life to a God I did not know but I was certain knew know but I was certain knew know but I was certain knew me and so then I thought okay I'm going me and so then I thought okay I'm going me and so then I thought okay I'm going to start living my best life now and for to start living my best life now and for to start living my best life now and for a while I did I went away to college I a while I did I went away to college I a while I did I went away to college I went to grad school I met and married a went to grad school I met and married a went to grad school I met and married a classmate we had a daughter named Kate classmate we had a daughter named Kate classmate we had a daughter named Kate Katie um life was going Katie um life was going Katie um life was going great until it great until it great until it wasn't I had four

wasn't I had four wasn't I had four miscarriages then when Katie was a few miscarriages then when Katie was a few miscarriages then when Katie was a few years old I was pregnant 20 weeks years old I was pregnant 20 weeks years old I was pregnant 20 weeks pregnant went in for a routine pregnant went in for a routine pregnant went in for a routine ultrasound and found out my unborn son ultrasound and found out my unborn son ultrasound and found out my unborn son Paul had a heart problem and he needed Paul had a heart problem and he needed Paul had a heart problem and he needed surgery at Birth or he would surgery at Birth or he would surgery at Birth or he would die so we had surgery and he was doing die so we had surgery and he was doing die so we had surgery and he was doing so well and I felt like wow God had so well and I felt like wow God had so well and I felt like wow God had brought us through this and he did Paul brought us through this and he did Paul brought us through this and he did Paul was an adorable little baby curly dark was an adorable little baby curly dark was an adorable little baby curly dark hair loved being held and was doing so hair loved being held and was doing so hair loved being held and was doing so well so we took him to the doctor for well so we took him to the doctor for well so we took him to the doctor for like his two-month checkup and his like his two-month checkup and his like his two-month checkup and his regular cardiologist wasn't there so regular cardiologist wasn't there so regular cardiologist wasn't there so they had a substitute and the substitute they had a substitute and the substitute they had a substitute and the substitute looked at Paul and said oh my you are looked at Paul and said oh my you are looked at Paul and said oh my you are doing so well like he was really high on doing so well like he was really high on doing so well like he was really high on the growth chart and he said he doesn't the growth chart and he said he doesn't the growth chart and he said he doesn't need all this medicine and we were need all this medicine and we were need all this medicine and we were getting up in the middle of the night getting up in the middle of the night getting up in the middle of the night still giving him medicine and this still giving him medicine and this still giving him medicine and this doctor said he doesn't need this anymore doctor said he doesn't need this anymore doctor said he doesn't need this anymore so he didn't fill the prescription said so he didn't fill the prescription said so he didn't fill the prescription said you don't need to do this and we were you don't need to do this and we were you don't need to do this and we were thrilled but then two days later Paul thrilled but then two days later Paul thrilled but then two days later Paul screamed in the middle of the night and screamed in the middle of the night and screamed in the middle of the night and went limp Dave um went with him we went limp Dave um went with him we went limp Dave um went with him we called 911 and Dave went with him to the called 911 and Dave went with him to the called 911 and Dave went with him to the hospital and I was home and I got on my hospital and I was home and I got on my hospital and I was home and I got on my knees and I begged God I begged God like knees and I begged God I begged God like knees and I begged God I begged God like I had never begged for anything just I had never begged for anything just I had never begged for anything just please please save Paul and I had this please please save Paul and I had this please please save Paul and I had this sense that God was really going to do it sense that God was really going to do it sense that God was really going to do it I mean I spent all this time I was just

I mean I spent all this time I was just I mean I spent all this time I was just like God is going to answer this I've like God is going to answer this I've like God is going to answer this I've been faithful I teach Bible study so I been faithful I teach Bible study so I been faithful I teach Bible study so I got up and a friend came somebody stayed got up and a friend came somebody stayed got up and a friend came somebody stayed with Katie and I went to the hospital with Katie and I went to the hospital with Katie and I went to the hospital and when I got there I wanted to see and when I got there I wanted to see and when I got there I wanted to see Paul and they said I'm sorry your son is Paul and they said I'm sorry your son is Paul and they said I'm sorry your son is dead and I felt like I had been kicked dead and I felt like I had been kicked dead and I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach I I just wondered how did in the stomach I I just wondered how did in the stomach I I just wondered how did God let that happen then when we got God let that happen then when we got God let that happen then when we got home I felt carried by God and Dave and home I felt carried by God and Dave and home I felt carried by God and Dave and I got up at Paul's Funeral and we said I got up at Paul's Funeral and we said I got up at Paul's Funeral and we said God never makes a mistake and I really God never makes a mistake and I really God never makes a mistake and I really believed believed believed that but when weeks later I wanted to that but when weeks later I wanted to that but when weeks later I wanted to pull every one of those words back pull every one of those words back pull every one of those words back because it felt like God had made a because it felt like God had made a because it felt like God had made a mistake and God had abandoned me and my mistake and God had abandoned me and my mistake and God had abandoned me and my Bible lay unopened on the table I I Bible lay unopened on the table I I Bible lay unopened on the table I I didn't want to draw near to the God that didn't want to draw near to the God that didn't want to draw near to the God that I knew could have changed it but I knew could have changed it but I knew could have changed it but didn't so I pulled so far away from God didn't so I pulled so far away from God didn't so I pulled so far away from God and then one day I was in the car and I and then one day I was in the car and I and then one day I was in the car and I was so depressed like pulling away from was so depressed like pulling away from was so depressed like pulling away from God had done nothing for me but made me God had done nothing for me but made me God had done nothing for me but made me feel more depressed so I just cried out feel more depressed so I just cried out feel more depressed so I just cried out in the car God help me I need in the car God help me I need in the car God help me I need you and the presence of God filled my you and the presence of God filled my you and the presence of God filled my car in a way that I can't even explain car in a way that I can't even explain car in a way that I can't even explain but I knew God was with me and that God but I knew God was with me and that God but I knew God was with me and that God would never leave me and it was just would never leave me and it was just would never leave me and it was just this amazing this amazing this amazing moment but then when I got home you I I

moment but then when I got home you I I moment but then when I got home you I I knew God was with me but I was still knew God was with me but I was still knew God was with me but I was still discouraged and I discovered the grace discouraged and I discovered the grace discouraged and I discovered the grace of lament which is just crying out to of lament which is just crying out to of lament which is just crying out to God in our pain it's being honest with God in our pain it's being honest with God in our pain it's being honest with God and just screaming in our grief but God and just screaming in our grief but God and just screaming in our grief but trusting in God's trusting in God's trusting in God's goodness and that really helped me get goodness and that really helped me get goodness and that really helped me get through that through that through that time well a year after Paul died I had a time well a year after Paul died I had a time well a year after Paul died I had a little girl named christe and then four little girl named christe and then four little girl named christe and then four years later I was diagnosed with years later I was diagnosed with years later I was diagnosed with postpolio postpolio postpolio syndrome now most of you probably don't syndrome now most of you probably don't syndrome now most of you probably don't know what that is I had no idea what it know what that is I had no idea what it know what that is I had no idea what it was but it's a deteriorating condition was but it's a deteriorating condition was but it's a deteriorating condition that is characterized by escalating pain that is characterized by escalating pain that is characterized by escalating pain and weakness and it happens about 30 to and weakness and it happens about 30 to and weakness and it happens about 30 to 40 years after you initially get polio 40 years after you initially get polio 40 years after you initially get polio and basically they say the more you do and basically they say the more you do and basically they say the more you do the weaker you get and that my strength the weaker you get and that my strength the weaker you get and that my strength and energy was like money in a bank and and energy was like money in a bank and and energy was like money in a bank and that everything I did was making a that everything I did was making a that everything I did was making a withdrawal but I couldn't make any withdrawal but I couldn't make any withdrawal but I couldn't make any deposits so the doctor said you need to deposits so the doctor said you need to deposits so the doctor said you need to stop everything stop doing everything stop everything stop doing everything stop everything stop doing everything you're doing and concentrate on you're doing and concentrate on you're doing and concentrate on self-care and at that point like I had self-care and at that point like I had self-care and at that point like I had been an artist all through my young been an artist all through my young been an artist all through my young years I was selling jewelry in a local years I was selling jewelry in a local years I was selling jewelry in a local jewelry store I was um I love to cook jewelry store I was um I love to cook jewelry store I was um I love to cook and they just said stop and they just said stop and they just said stop everything and I had two young daughters everything and I had two young daughters everything and I had two young daughters then and I said well what happens if I then and I said well what happens if I then and I said well what happens if I don't do that and they said then in 10 don't do that and they said then in 10 don't do that and they said then in 10 years someone will be feeding you I

years someone will be feeding you I years someone will be feeding you I thought I like food a lot I don't want thought I like food a lot I don't want thought I like food a lot I don't want somebody to be feeding me in 10 years um somebody to be feeding me in 10 years um somebody to be feeding me in 10 years um but I did give up some things like a but I did give up some things like a but I did give up some things like a trooper just so you know I gave up trooper just so you know I gave up trooper just so you know I gave up vacuuming loading the dishwasher the vacuuming loading the dishwasher the vacuuming loading the dishwasher the laundry I was like the Lord has called laundry I was like the Lord has called laundry I was like the Lord has called me to this I don't need to do it again me to this I don't need to do it again me to this I don't need to do it again so that was a really really wonderful so that was a really really wonderful so that was a really really wonderful part but um there was a lot of really part but um there was a lot of really part but um there was a lot of really really hard parts and just seeing my really hard parts and just seeing my really hard parts and just seeing my identity and my life start changing a identity and my life start changing a identity and my life start changing a little bit and like the diagnosis of little bit and like the diagnosis of little bit and like the diagnosis of that reality the reality of that that reality the reality of that that reality the reality of that diagnosis is just setting in more and diagnosis is just setting in more and diagnosis is just setting in more and more because at that point I could do more because at that point I could do more because at that point I could do everything I wanted to do but as most of everything I wanted to do but as most of everything I wanted to do but as most of you noticed I used a wheelchair I walked you noticed I used a wheelchair I walked you noticed I used a wheelchair I walked on stage but I use a wheelchair much on stage but I use a wheelchair much on stage but I use a wheelchair much more than I walk and my arms are really more than I walk and my arms are really more than I walk and my arms are really really weak and so I'm just kind of really weak and so I'm just kind of really weak and so I'm just kind of still dealing with that but at that time still dealing with that but at that time still dealing with that but at that time it was just figuring out how do I live it was just figuring out how do I live it was just figuring out how do I live this different this different this different life and then um but six years after life and then um but six years after life and then um but six years after that diagnosis my husband Dave came home that diagnosis my husband Dave came home that diagnosis my husband Dave came home and told me he was leaving for someone and told me he was leaving for someone and told me he was leaving for someone else and then he um told me was in love else and then he um told me was in love else and then he um told me was in love with them and was leaving and I was with them and was leaving and I was with them and was leaving and I was shocked and shattered to me the shocked and shattered to me the shocked and shattered to me the unthinkable had happened he soon moved unthinkable had happened he soon moved unthinkable had happened he soon moved out of state and I was left to raise two out of state and I was left to raise two out of state and I was left to raise two two adolescent daughters ages 10 and 13 two adolescent daughters ages 10 and 13 two adolescent daughters ages 10 and 13 who were both very angry and I was angry who were both very angry and I was angry who were both very angry and I was angry and anger was spilling out all over our and anger was spilling out all over our and anger was spilling out all over our house um if you want to know exactly how

house um if you want to know exactly how house um if you want to know exactly how angry I was you can read it in my Memoir angry I was you can read it in my Memoir angry I was you can read it in my Memoir like when I threw a full glass of ice like when I threw a full glass of ice like when I threw a full glass of ice water on my 10-year-old daughter so I water on my 10-year-old daughter so I water on my 10-year-old daughter so I was no saint as I went through all that was no saint as I went through all that was no saint as I went through all that as you can see um but God met me in as you can see um but God met me in as you can see um but God met me in those times but it I would say it's it those times but it I would say it's it those times but it I would say it's it was hardest thing I went through in a was hardest thing I went through in a was hardest thing I went through in a lot of ways because I was alone I lot of ways because I was alone I lot of ways because I was alone I questioned my identity my body was questioned my identity my body was questioned my identity my body was failing my kids were rebelling my failing my kids were rebelling my failing my kids were rebelling my husband was blaming me I felt that I had husband was blaming me I felt that I had husband was blaming me I felt that I had no place in the church I remember I no place in the church I remember I no place in the church I remember I screamed at my pastor in his house and screamed at my pastor in his house and screamed at my pastor in his house and screamed in my bed every night God why screamed in my bed every night God why screamed in my bed every night God why do you hate me because I felt that God do you hate me because I felt that God do you hate me because I felt that God hated me hated me hated me but through angry tears God met me I but through angry tears God met me I but through angry tears God met me I just remember screaming at God at night just remember screaming at God at night just remember screaming at God at night and getting up in the morning and and getting up in the morning and and getting up in the morning and opening the Bible and realizing I have opening the Bible and realizing I have opening the Bible and realizing I have nowhere else to go this is all I have nowhere else to go this is all I have nowhere else to go this is all I have and God met me every morning and that and God met me every morning and that and God met me every morning and that forged the deepest part of my faith like forged the deepest part of my faith like forged the deepest part of my faith like when you have nothing else but God you when you have nothing else but God you when you have nothing else but God you recognize that God is all you need and I recognize that God is all you need and I recognize that God is all you need and I I could have said that to people people I could have said that to people people I could have said that to people people before all of my suffering like people before all of my suffering like people before all of my suffering like people say God's all you need but when you say God's all you need but when you say God's all you need but when you really have nothing and you realize that really have nothing and you realize that really have nothing and you realize that God is all you need it changes God is all you need it changes God is all you need it changes everything well Dave and I eventually everything well Dave and I eventually everything well Dave and I eventually divorced and I um remarried an amazing

divorced and I um remarried an amazing divorced and I um remarried an amazing man named man named man named Joel well that's my story and I don't Joel well that's my story and I don't Joel well that's my story and I don't know what you think I'm guessing some of know what you think I'm guessing some of know what you think I'm guessing some of you are thinking I'm pretty glad I'm not you are thinking I'm pretty glad I'm not you are thinking I'm pretty glad I'm not her and I get that um but God her and I get that um but God her and I get that um but God transformed me through my pain and um I transformed me through my pain and um I transformed me through my pain and um I would Echo the words of my friend Johnny would Echo the words of my friend Johnny would Echo the words of my friend Johnny Eric cata who is a quadriplegic who was Eric cata who is a quadriplegic who was Eric cata who is a quadriplegic who was injured in a diving accident and she injured in a diving accident and she injured in a diving accident and she says I wouldn't trade places with anyone says I wouldn't trade places with anyone says I wouldn't trade places with anyone to be this close to Jesus and I would to be this close to Jesus and I would to be this close to Jesus and I would Echo that I would not trade places with Echo that I would not trade places with Echo that I would not trade places with anyone to be this close to anyone to be this close to anyone to be this close to Jesus I wonder where you are Jesus I wonder where you are Jesus I wonder where you are today maybe you're reeling from a crisis today maybe you're reeling from a crisis today maybe you're reeling from a crisis in your life maybe you got here just in your life maybe you got here just in your life maybe you got here just finding out something pretty finding out something pretty finding out something pretty devastating or maybe you're here to help devastating or maybe you're here to help devastating or maybe you're here to help someone else maybe somebody in your life someone else maybe somebody in your life someone else maybe somebody in your life is going through something really is going through something really is going through something really hard but I know everyone here has their hard but I know everyone here has their hard but I know everyone here has their own story of own story of own story of loss it doesn't have to be a huge loss it doesn't have to be a huge loss it doesn't have to be a huge life-altering life-altering life-altering loss it could be the sadness of a broken loss it could be the sadness of a broken loss it could be the sadness of a broken relationship or the frustration of a relationship or the frustration of a relationship or the frustration of a dead-end job dead-end job dead-end job or the disappointment that life is not or the disappointment that life is not or the disappointment that life is not turning out the way you turning out the way you turning out the way you expected could be unwanted singleness a expected could be unwanted singleness a expected could be unwanted singleness a difficult marriage Health struggles difficult marriage Health struggles difficult marriage Health struggles infertility I call these the griefs that infertility I call these the griefs that infertility I call these the griefs that don't wear black nobody brings you a

don't wear black nobody brings you a don't wear black nobody brings you a meal for them you don't put those on the meal for them you don't put those on the meal for them you don't put those on the prayer chain but those are really hard prayer chain but those are really hard prayer chain but those are really hard too and they keep us up at too and they keep us up at too and they keep us up at night so the principal that I'm going to night so the principal that I'm going to night so the principal that I'm going to talk about today they apply to all of talk about today they apply to all of talk about today they apply to all of those types of those types of those types of suffering so as I talk about these three suffering so as I talk about these three suffering so as I talk about these three anchors that I cling to in my suffering anchors that I cling to in my suffering anchors that I cling to in my suffering they've changed my experience of they've changed my experience of they've changed my experience of suffering and it's funny I wouldn't have suffering and it's funny I wouldn't have suffering and it's funny I wouldn't have been able to articulate them as three been able to articulate them as three been able to articulate them as three anchors till I wrote this Bible study anchors till I wrote this Bible study anchors till I wrote this Bible study and I realized oh wow I need to be able and I realized oh wow I need to be able and I realized oh wow I need to be able to communicate to people what I learned to communicate to people what I learned to communicate to people what I learned and I recognize there are three things and I recognize there are three things and I recognize there are three things that I cling to that have changed the that I cling to that have changed the that I cling to that have changed the way I experienc suffering and they're way I experienc suffering and they're way I experienc suffering and they're important for everyone because what you important for everyone because what you important for everyone because what you think about God and what he's doing in think about God and what he's doing in think about God and what he's doing in your suffering is critical you are the your suffering is critical you are the your suffering is critical you are the most important person in your life and most important person in your life and most important person in your life and what you're telling yourself about your what you're telling yourself about your what you're telling yourself about your suffering will shape your experience of suffering will shape your experience of suffering will shape your experience of it so these three anchor anchors that I it so these three anchor anchors that I it so these three anchor anchors that I cling to you are one you have the cling to you are one you have the cling to you are one you have the presence of God God is with you in your presence of God God is with you in your presence of God God is with you in your suffering the second one is your suffering the second one is your suffering the second one is your suffering has suffering has suffering has purpose and the third one is we have the purpose and the third one is we have the purpose and the third one is we have the promise of promise of promise of Heaven now I'm going to spend the vast Heaven now I'm going to spend the vast Heaven now I'm going to spend the vast majority of my time on the first one majority of my time on the first one majority of my time on the first one presence because for the other two to presence because for the other two to presence because for the other two to make sense and have meaning we need to make sense and have meaning we need to make sense and have meaning we need to know that God loves us and that God is

know that God loves us and that God is know that God loves us and that God is with with with us now most of us here intellectually us now most of us here intellectually us now most of us here intellectually know that God is with us the most know that God is with us the most know that God is with us the most repeated promise in the Bible is I am repeated promise in the Bible is I am repeated promise in the Bible is I am with with with you but have you ever felt God's you but have you ever felt God's you but have you ever felt God's presence do you feel loved by presence do you feel loved by presence do you feel loved by God now I can assure you if you know God now I can assure you if you know God now I can assure you if you know Jesus you are loved by God God is crazy Jesus you are loved by God God is crazy Jesus you are loved by God God is crazy about about about you but our faith is shaped by whether you but our faith is shaped by whether you but our faith is shaped by whether those are just words we know or a those are just words we know or a those are just words we know or a reality we've reality we've reality we've experienced now ephes in Ephesians experienced now ephes in Ephesians experienced now ephes in Ephesians 318-19 Paul prays that the Ephesians 318-19 Paul prays that the Ephesians 318-19 Paul prays that the Ephesians would have the strength to comprehend would have the strength to comprehend would have the strength to comprehend the enormity of Christ's the enormity of Christ's the enormity of Christ's love it's so big that we need strength love it's so big that we need strength love it's so big that we need strength to understand it and then Paul prays to understand it and then Paul prays to understand it and then Paul prays that they would know Christ's love that that they would know Christ's love that that they would know Christ's love that surpasses surpasses surpasses knowledge well how do you know something knowledge well how do you know something knowledge well how do you know something that surpasses know knowledge well the that surpasses know knowledge well the that surpasses know knowledge well the Greek word for know is to know from Greek word for know is to know from Greek word for know is to know from experience not to know experience not to know experience not to know academically so we know from experience academically so we know from experience academically so we know from experience we know God loves us when we tie it to we know God loves us when we tie it to we know God loves us when we tie it to our everyday life when we see evidence our everyday life when we see evidence our everyday life when we see evidence of God's love in our of God's love in our of God's love in our life now many people think evidence of life now many people think evidence of life now many people think evidence of God's love is a successful life when all

God's love is a successful life when all God's love is a successful life when all of our dreams come true maybe a great of our dreams come true maybe a great of our dreams come true maybe a great marriage and amazing kids a beautiful marriage and amazing kids a beautiful marriage and amazing kids a beautiful home when we're physically fit that home when we're physically fit that home when we're physically fit that feels like God loves those people so feels like God loves those people so feels like God loves those people so when our world is turned upside down and when our world is turned upside down and when our world is turned upside down and we lose something precious we wonder we lose something precious we wonder we lose something precious we wonder does God love me is God for does God love me is God for does God love me is God for me and maybe the deeper question is if me and maybe the deeper question is if me and maybe the deeper question is if God loves me why did this God loves me why did this God loves me why did this happen if God loves me why did this happen if God loves me why did this happen if God loves me why did this happen and often we feel like the only happen and often we feel like the only happen and often we feel like the only way God really shows us his love and way God really shows us his love and way God really shows us his love and care is in answering our prayers just as care is in answering our prayers just as care is in answering our prayers just as we ask them we think seeing is believing we ask them we think seeing is believing we ask them we think seeing is believing if if you fix this we'll if if you fix this we'll if if you fix this we'll believe if God rescues us we believe but believe if God rescues us we believe but believe if God rescues us we believe but if he doesn't we think he doesn't if he doesn't we think he doesn't if he doesn't we think he doesn't care well the children of Israel were care well the children of Israel were care well the children of Israel were like like like that they were the Lord delivered them that they were the Lord delivered them that they were the Lord delivered them out of slav Y in out of slav Y in out of slav Y in Egypt and they were so happy that God Egypt and they were so happy that God Egypt and they were so happy that God did they had um they came out with gold did they had um they came out with gold did they had um they came out with gold and they were guided with a pillar of and they were guided with a pillar of and they were guided with a pillar of fire and Cloud they knew that God was fire and Cloud they knew that God was fire and Cloud they knew that God was with them but then Pharaoh pursued them with them but then Pharaoh pursued them with them but then Pharaoh pursued them and they said they turned around and and they said they turned around and and they said they turned around and said to Moses like right why when they said to Moses like right why when they said to Moses like right why when they were by the Red Sea they said to Moses were by the Red Sea they said to Moses were by the Red Sea they said to Moses and basically to God is it because there

and basically to God is it because there and basically to God is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have are no graves in Egypt that you have are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the taken us away to die in the taken us away to die in the wilderness so God had just rescued them wilderness so God had just rescued them wilderness so God had just rescued them and they didn't trust him anymore they and they didn't trust him anymore they and they didn't trust him anymore they accused him of not accused him of not accused him of not caring so then right now Pharaoh's caring so then right now Pharaoh's caring so then right now Pharaoh's pursuing him and God Parts the Red Sea pursuing him and God Parts the Red Sea pursuing him and God Parts the Red Sea through Moses and so that's amazing and through Moses and so that's amazing and through Moses and so that's amazing and you see they saw God's power they you see they saw God's power they you see they saw God's power they celebrated they wrote songs about his celebrated they wrote songs about his celebrated they wrote songs about his faithfulness but then long not long faithfulness but then long not long faithfulness but then long not long afterwards they were in the wilderness afterwards they were in the wilderness afterwards they were in the wilderness and they were hungry and they say to to and they were hungry and they say to to and they were hungry and they say to to God and to Moses you brought us into the God and to Moses you brought us into the God and to Moses you brought us into the Wilderness to make this whole assembly Wilderness to make this whole assembly Wilderness to make this whole assembly die of die of die of hunger so once again we say deliv we see hunger so once again we say deliv we see hunger so once again we say deliv we see Deliverance does not equal trust once Deliverance does not equal trust once Deliverance does not equal trust once again they accused God of not again they accused God of not again they accused God of not caring they thought God loved them until caring they thought God loved them until caring they thought God loved them until the next Miracle so now God past the next Miracle so now God past the next Miracle so now God past Deliverance it showed them his power and Deliverance it showed them his power and Deliverance it showed them his power and his ability to change things but it did his ability to change things but it did his ability to change things but it did not convince them that God loved not convince them that God loved not convince them that God loved them what showed them God loved them and them what showed them God loved them and them what showed them God loved them and cared about them were their years in the cared about them were their years in the cared about them were their years in the wilderness where he fed them Mana wilderness where he fed them Mana wilderness where he fed them Mana daily when their shoes never wore out daily when their shoes never wore out daily when their shoes never wore out when they experienced Small Miracles

when they experienced Small Miracles when they experienced Small Miracles every day and they learned to depend on every day and they learned to depend on every day and they learned to depend on God for God for God for everything it's the same way with us God everything it's the same way with us God everything it's the same way with us God takes us into the Wilderness to show us takes us into the Wilderness to show us takes us into the Wilderness to show us his his his love he'll sustain us there he'll Feed love he'll sustain us there he'll Feed love he'll sustain us there he'll Feed Us he'll provide for us he'll draw close Us he'll provide for us he'll draw close Us he'll provide for us he'll draw close to us and I call this God's sustaining to us and I call this God's sustaining to us and I call this God's sustaining Grace now I don't want to downplay the Grace now I don't want to downplay the Grace now I don't want to downplay the beauty of Deliverance where God answers beauty of Deliverance where God answers beauty of Deliverance where God answers our prayers the way we ask them that's a our prayers the way we ask them that's a our prayers the way we ask them that's a wonderful amazing thing and God does wonderful amazing thing and God does wonderful amazing thing and God does that and we need to remind ourselves that and we need to remind ourselves that and we need to remind ourselves keep repeating to ourselves and to keep repeating to ourselves and to keep repeating to ourselves and to others what God has done just as the others what God has done just as the others what God has done just as the children of Israel did because that children of Israel did because that children of Israel did because that reminds us that God can do anything and reminds us that God can do anything and reminds us that God can do anything and nothing is too hard for nothing is too hard for nothing is too hard for him but if God says wait or if God says him but if God says wait or if God says him but if God says wait or if God says no we can rest in God's sustaining no we can rest in God's sustaining no we can rest in God's sustaining Grace when we we are sustained and not Grace when we we are sustained and not Grace when we we are sustained and not delivered it is an invitation to know delivered it is an invitation to know delivered it is an invitation to know God better and discover the depths of God better and discover the depths of God better and discover the depths of God's God's God's love God draws nearer in suffering I love God draws nearer in suffering I love God draws nearer in suffering I think and he gives us Treasures that we think and he gives us Treasures that we think and he gives us Treasures that we can't find anywhere can't find anywhere can't find anywhere else the greater the pain the tighter else the greater the pain the tighter else the greater the pain the tighter God's God's God's Embrace and when you've experienced that Embrace and when you've experienced that Embrace and when you've experienced that you can say God's presence in trouble is

you can say God's presence in trouble is you can say God's presence in trouble is better than the absence of better than the absence of better than the absence of trouble God's presence in trouble is trouble God's presence in trouble is trouble God's presence in trouble is better than the absence of better than the absence of better than the absence of trouble in Deuteronomy 1 Moses reminded trouble in Deuteronomy 1 Moses reminded trouble in Deuteronomy 1 Moses reminded the people that God had not stopped the people that God had not stopped the people that God had not stopped caring for them and he said the Lord caring for them and he said the Lord caring for them and he said the Lord your God who goes before you will your God who goes before you will your God who goes before you will himself fight for you just as he did for himself fight for you just as he did for himself fight for you just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes when God you in Egypt before your eyes when God you in Egypt before your eyes when God delivered them then he says and in the delivered them then he says and in the delivered them then he says and in the wilderness where you have seen how the wilderness where you have seen how the wilderness where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you as a man Lord your God carried you as a man Lord your God carried you as a man carries his carries his carries his son all the way that you went until you son all the way that you went until you son all the way that you went until you came to this came to this came to this place God fought for the Israelites when place God fought for the Israelites when place God fought for the Israelites when he delivered them out of he delivered them out of he delivered them out of Egypt but God carried them in the barren Egypt but God carried them in the barren Egypt but God carried them in the barren desert he was with desert he was with desert he was with them it's the same with us them it's the same with us them it's the same with us God carries us through the God carries us through the God carries us through the Wilderness well when you know that God Wilderness well when you know that God Wilderness well when you know that God is with you you don't need to be afraid is with you you don't need to be afraid is with you you don't need to be afraid but in suffering our first reaction is but in suffering our first reaction is but in suffering our first reaction is often fear like what is going to happen often fear like what is going to happen often fear like what is going to happen and we often wonder what if the worst and we often wonder what if the worst and we often wonder what if the worst happens in our happens in our happens in our life well God knows it's natural for us life well God knows it's natural for us life well God knows it's natural for us to be afraid of the future and so the to be afraid of the future and so the to be afraid of the future and so the most and I love the fact that the most

most and I love the fact that the most most and I love the fact that the most repeated command in the Bible is do not repeated command in the Bible is do not repeated command in the Bible is do not be be be afraid and I don't see that as a command afraid and I don't see that as a command afraid and I don't see that as a command like a hammer like don't be afraid it's like a hammer like don't be afraid it's like a hammer like don't be afraid it's just a tender invitation to trust God just a tender invitation to trust God just a tender invitation to trust God because together with the most repeated because together with the most repeated because together with the most repeated promise we find do not fear for I am promise we find do not fear for I am promise we find do not fear for I am with you and you see that all through with you and you see that all through with you and you see that all through scripture do not fear for I Am With You scripture do not fear for I Am With You scripture do not fear for I Am With You that is the reason we shouldn't be that is the reason we shouldn't be that is the reason we shouldn't be afraid is because we have God's afraid is because we have God's afraid is because we have God's presence now when I fear when I'm afraid presence now when I fear when I'm afraid presence now when I fear when I'm afraid like before I get up on stage I um I like before I get up on stage I um I like before I get up on stage I um I remind myself of God's promises I love remind myself of God's promises I love remind myself of God's promises I love Psalm 234 just when I walk through the Psalm 234 just when I walk through the Psalm 234 just when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will valley of the shadow of death I will valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me I also fear no evil for you are with me I also fear no evil for you are with me I also love Isaiah love Isaiah love Isaiah 41:10 or Psalm 46 1-2 41:10 or Psalm 46 1-2 41:10 or Psalm 46 1-2 I would encourage everyone here to have I would encourage everyone here to have I would encourage everyone here to have a verse or several verses that you can a verse or several verses that you can a verse or several verses that you can say and pray when you're afraid so now I've talked a lot about afraid so now I've talked a lot about God's presence you might say like so how God's presence you might say like so how God's presence you might say like so how do I experience this presence like do I experience this presence like do I experience this presence like you've talked a lot about having it but you've talked a lot about having it but you've talked a lot about having it but how do you how do you feel it and I how do you how do you feel it and I how do you how do you feel it and I would say the um there's three ways the would say the um there's three ways the would say the um there's three ways the first way it's is talking to God now first way it's is talking to God now first way it's is talking to God now talking to God is talking to God is talking to God is praying asking God everything but I'd

praying asking God everything but I'd praying asking God everything but I'd say it's talking to God real it your say it's talking to God real it your say it's talking to God real it your prayers should not sound like the King prayers should not sound like the King prayers should not sound like the King James Bible and if they do maybe you're James Bible and if they do maybe you're James Bible and if they do maybe you're not really connecting with god um we not really connecting with god um we not really connecting with god um we want to talk to God like we're talking want to talk to God like we're talking want to talk to God like we're talking to a friend like talk to him all day to a friend like talk to him all day to a friend like talk to him all day long everything you see everything you long everything you see everything you long everything you see everything you wonder rather than keeping that in talk wonder rather than keeping that in talk wonder rather than keeping that in talk to God about it and lament and I touched to God about it and lament and I touched to God about it and lament and I touched on lament before but lament is really on lament before but lament is really on lament before but lament is really telling every God everything that's on telling every God everything that's on telling every God everything that's on your heart without editing it it's not your heart without editing it it's not your heart without editing it it's not saying oh can I say this to God it's saying oh can I say this to God it's saying oh can I say this to God it's just saying it because lament really just saying it because lament really just saying it because lament really saved my faith and lament is not saved my faith and lament is not saved my faith and lament is not grumbling a lot of people say oh I don't grumbling a lot of people say oh I don't grumbling a lot of people say oh I don't I don't I can't do that I can't talk to I don't I can't do that I can't talk to I don't I can't do that I can't talk to God that way I just need to praise God God that way I just need to praise God God that way I just need to praise God all the time I don't want to Grumble but all the time I don't want to Grumble but all the time I don't want to Grumble but um grumbling is talking about God lament um grumbling is talking about God lament um grumbling is talking about God lament is talking to God so if you're talking is talking to God so if you're talking is talking to God so if you're talking to God about how you feel God wants to to God about how you feel God wants to to God about how you feel God wants to hear it and the psalmist hear it and the psalmist hear it and the psalmist job Jeremiah they model that for us so job Jeremiah they model that for us so job Jeremiah they model that for us so if you want to know what you can say to if you want to know what you can say to if you want to know what you can say to God open the Psalms Psalm God open the Psalms Psalm God open the Psalms Psalm 13 so many Lamentations 3 might be the 13 so many Lamentations 3 might be the 13 so many Lamentations 3 might be the harshest words anybody has said to God harshest words anybody has said to God harshest words anybody has said to God in the Bible and you say this see this in the Bible and you say this see this in the Bible and you say this see this amazing turn when Jeremiah dares to say amazing turn when Jeremiah dares to say amazing turn when Jeremiah dares to say those things so be real with God those things so be real with God those things so be real with God the second thing we do to experience the second thing we do to experience the second thing we do to experience God's presence and love and know his

God's presence and love and know his God's presence and love and know his presence is listening to God so how do presence is listening to God so how do presence is listening to God so how do we we we listen often we just need to be listen often we just need to be listen often we just need to be quiet God is always talking to us but quiet God is always talking to us but quiet God is always talking to us but are we listening often I will just get up in listening often I will just get up in the morning and I will have a few the morning and I will have a few the morning and I will have a few minutes of silence and I'll say Speak minutes of silence and I'll say Speak minutes of silence and I'll say Speak Lord your servant is listening which is Lord your servant is listening which is Lord your servant is listening which is 1 Samuel 3:9 Speak Lord your service is 1 Samuel 3:9 Speak Lord your service is 1 Samuel 3:9 Speak Lord your service is listening and just listening and just listening and just wait but the clearest way we can listen wait but the clearest way we can listen wait but the clearest way we can listen to God is Through the Bible because to God is Through the Bible because to God is Through the Bible because those are the very words of God and we those are the very words of God and we those are the very words of God and we start to recognize God's start to recognize God's start to recognize God's voice some words that I often Pray when voice some words that I often Pray when voice some words that I often Pray when I'm struggling which I started when um I'm struggling which I started when um I'm struggling which I started when um Dave left me and I didn't know where to Dave left me and I didn't know where to Dave left me and I didn't know where to put my hope or my heart and the Bible put my hope or my heart and the Bible put my hope or my heart and the Bible felt dry sometimes and I would pray felt dry sometimes and I would pray felt dry sometimes and I would pray Psalm Psalm Psalm 119:25 my soul clings to the dust revive 119:25 my soul clings to the dust revive 119:25 my soul clings to the dust revive me according to your word and God me according to your word and God me according to your word and God did but don't give up if the Bible feels did but don't give up if the Bible feels did but don't give up if the Bible feels dry trust that God will meet you even if dry trust that God will meet you even if dry trust that God will meet you even if it feels like eating cardboard because it feels like eating cardboard because it feels like eating cardboard because he can turn that cardboard into a he can turn that cardboard into a he can turn that cardboard into a life-giving meal because not every time life-giving meal because not every time life-giving meal because not every time you open the Bible is it going to be

you open the Bible is it going to be you open the Bible is it going to be memorable just like your favorite meal memorable just like your favorite meal memorable just like your favorite meal you ever ate is just as nourishing as you ever ate is just as nourishing as you ever ate is just as nourishing as that peanut butter sandwich like your that peanut butter sandwich like your that peanut butter sandwich like your body needs it so you don't have to have body needs it so you don't have to have body needs it so you don't have to have these Mountaintop experiences because if these Mountaintop experiences because if these Mountaintop experiences because if you think you that's all you do with God you think you that's all you do with God you think you that's all you do with God you're going to be you're going to be you're going to be disappointed but I would say on the disappointed but I would say on the disappointed but I would say on the other hand don't read just saying okay other hand don't read just saying okay other hand don't read just saying okay I've got to check off the box that's the I've got to check off the box that's the I've got to check off the box that's the worst way to read cuz if you're trying worst way to read cuz if you're trying worst way to read cuz if you're trying to check off a box you're not expecting to check off a box you're not expecting to check off a box you're not expecting God to meet you so read with expectation God to meet you so read with expectation God to meet you so read with expectation like open the Bible and say God I need like open the Bible and say God I need like open the Bible and say God I need you I need you to meet me and that is you I need you to meet me and that is you I need you to meet me and that is the way that God started showing up for the way that God started showing up for the way that God started showing up for me because I started looking for God to me because I started looking for God to me because I started looking for God to show up it wasn't that God wasn't there show up it wasn't that God wasn't there show up it wasn't that God wasn't there before but I wasn't looking and I wasn't before but I wasn't looking and I wasn't before but I wasn't looking and I wasn't reading thinking God was talking to me reading thinking God was talking to me reading thinking God was talking to me so believe that God has something to so believe that God has something to so believe that God has something to show you when you're read show you when you're read show you when you're read scripture and the last way that I feel scripture and the last way that I feel scripture and the last way that I feel like I experience God's love and care is like I experience God's love and care is like I experience God's love and care is just by paying attention to how God is just by paying attention to how God is just by paying attention to how God is loving loving loving me and I think it's more like believing me and I think it's more like believing me and I think it's more like believing is is is seeing when we believe God loves us we seeing when we believe God loves us we seeing when we believe God loves us we see all the ways that God is loving see all the ways that God is loving see all the ways that God is loving us and often we can ask God in the us and often we can ask God in the us and often we can ask God in the moment show me open my eyes help me see moment show me open my eyes help me see moment show me open my eyes help me see what you are what you are what you are doing but it may be just an unexpected doing but it may be just an unexpected doing but it may be just an unexpected phone call from a friend it may be the

phone call from a friend it may be the phone call from a friend it may be the line in a sermon or a talk that you hear line in a sermon or a talk that you hear line in a sermon or a talk that you hear a song on the radio a verse that you a song on the radio a verse that you a song on the radio a verse that you read there's so many ways that God is read there's so many ways that God is read there's so many ways that God is talking to us and showing us that he talking to us and showing us that he talking to us and showing us that he loves loves loves us and as you lean into God and you talk us and as you lean into God and you talk us and as you lean into God and you talk to him and believe that you are loved to him and believe that you are loved to him and believe that you are loved the dots of your theology will start the dots of your theology will start the dots of your theology will start connecting what you know about God the connecting what you know about God the connecting what you know about God the things that you have been taught maybe things that you have been taught maybe things that you have been taught maybe in Sunday school or Bible study they in Sunday school or Bible study they in Sunday school or Bible study they will become a reality in will become a reality in will become a reality in Suffering The More You Walk With Jesus Suffering The More You Walk With Jesus Suffering The More You Walk With Jesus the more you will discover that the with the more you will discover that the with the more you will discover that the with God life is God life is God life is spectacular and suffering heightens our spectacular and suffering heightens our spectacular and suffering heightens our awareness of God more than anything else awareness of God more than anything else awareness of God more than anything else there's an intimacy with God you find in there's an intimacy with God you find in there's an intimacy with God you find in suffering that you won't find anywhere suffering that you won't find anywhere suffering that you won't find anywhere else suffering is not a sign that God else suffering is not a sign that God else suffering is not a sign that God has abandoned you or that he doesn't has abandoned you or that he doesn't has abandoned you or that he doesn't care about care about care about you quite the opposite in suffering God you quite the opposite in suffering God you quite the opposite in suffering God offers us the greatest gift he could offers us the greatest gift he could offers us the greatest gift he could possibly give an encounter with possibly give an encounter with possibly give an encounter with himself so I'm GNA say that again himself so I'm GNA say that again himself so I'm GNA say that again suffering is not a sign that God has suffering is not a sign that God has suffering is not a sign that God has abandoned you or doesn't care about you abandoned you or doesn't care about you abandoned you or doesn't care about you quite the opposite in suffering God

quite the opposite in suffering God quite the opposite in suffering God offers us the greatest gift he could offers us the greatest gift he could offers us the greatest gift he could possibly give an encounter with possibly give an encounter with possibly give an encounter with himself so that's the first anchor that himself so that's the first anchor that himself so that's the first anchor that I cling to which is God's presence so I cling to which is God's presence so I cling to which is God's presence so I'm going to move on to the second I'm going to move on to the second I'm going to move on to the second anchor that I will mention more anchor that I will mention more anchor that I will mention more briefly so the second anchor is that our briefly so the second anchor is that our briefly so the second anchor is that our suffering has suffering has suffering has purpose my suffering has purpose and so purpose my suffering has purpose and so purpose my suffering has purpose and so does yours it is for our good and for does yours it is for our good and for does yours it is for our good and for God's glory but often we can't see it God's glory but often we can't see it God's glory but often we can't see it not not not yet now when I talk about purpose I love yet now when I talk about purpose I love yet now when I talk about purpose I love to tell the story of when I was 2 years to tell the story of when I was 2 years to tell the story of when I was 2 years old I don't remember this but my mom old I don't remember this but my mom old I don't remember this but my mom tells me at my first surgery in tells me at my first surgery in tells me at my first surgery in England did not understand what had England did not understand what had England did not understand what had happened so I went I was in the hospital happened so I went I was in the hospital happened so I went I was in the hospital playing with my parents all of a sudden playing with my parents all of a sudden playing with my parents all of a sudden men in white coats took me away I woke men in white coats took me away I woke men in white coats took me away I woke up in a strange room in a lot of pain up in a strange room in a lot of pain up in a strange room in a lot of pain with a cast in between on both my legs with a cast in between on both my legs with a cast in between on both my legs with a bar in between I had no idea what with a bar in between I had no idea what with a bar in between I had no idea what had happened my mom wasn't even in the had happened my mom wasn't even in the had happened my mom wasn't even in the room with me when I woke up so I was room with me when I woke up so I was room with me when I woke up so I was like crying and screaming for her and like crying and screaming for her and like crying and screaming for her and then she finally came in and the minute then she finally came in and the minute then she finally came in and the minute she came in I remembered um wait I was she came in I remembered um wait I was she came in I remembered um wait I was screaming for you and you didn't come so screaming for you and you didn't come so screaming for you and you didn't come so I was mad at her so I was first waiting I was mad at her so I was first waiting I was mad at her so I was first waiting for her and then I was really mad so I for her and then I was really mad so I for her and then I was really mad so I would not look at her would not make eye would not look at her would not make eye would not look at her would not make eye contact and then finally like she was

contact and then finally like she was contact and then finally like she was going from one side of the bed to the going from one side of the bed to the going from one side of the bed to the other and then finally she just sat down other and then finally she just sat down other and then finally she just sat down beside me and she started beside me and she started beside me and she started crying and I thought okay she seems crying and I thought okay she seems crying and I thought okay she seems pretty sorry so I looked over at her and pretty sorry so I looked over at her and pretty sorry so I looked over at her and I'm like the first thing I said to her I'm like the first thing I said to her I'm like the first thing I said to her though was take away the pajamas I won't though was take away the pajamas I won't though was take away the pajamas I won't be naughty be naughty be naughty again and my mom realized at that moment again and my mom realized at that moment again and my mom realized at that moment that I thought this was a punishment that I thought this was a punishment that I thought this was a punishment that I had put these white pajamas she that I had put these white pajamas she that I had put these white pajamas she had put these white pajamas on my legs had put these white pajamas on my legs had put these white pajamas on my legs and that I was in all this pain because and that I was in all this pain because and that I was in all this pain because I hadn't eaten my peas and my mom just I hadn't eaten my peas and my mom just I hadn't eaten my peas and my mom just said oh no like it just broke her heart said oh no like it just broke her heart said oh no like it just broke her heart and she said oh no no no you've been an and she said oh no no no you've been an and she said oh no no no you've been an angel this happened you had the surgery angel this happened you had the surgery angel this happened you had the surgery so that one day you'll be able to walk so that one day you'll be able to walk so that one day you'll be able to walk and I was like walk I don't want to walk and I was like walk I don't want to walk and I was like walk I don't want to walk I like to be carried I get to sit on my I like to be carried I get to sit on my I like to be carried I get to sit on my dad's shoulders I'm taller than dad's shoulders I'm taller than dad's shoulders I'm taller than everybody else I go wherever I want to everybody else I go wherever I want to everybody else I go wherever I want to go like it's like I don't want to walk go like it's like I don't want to walk go like it's like I don't want to walk and my mom's like okay well I I'm and my mom's like okay well I I'm and my mom's like okay well I I'm telling you you're going to want to walk telling you you're going to want to walk telling you you're going to want to walk one day like this is important this is one day like this is important this is one day like this is important this is good for good for good for you I could not understand you I could not understand you I could not understand that and my mom told me later like that that and my mom told me later like that that and my mom told me later like that was such a picture of God for her like was such a picture of God for her like was such a picture of God for her like we think oh God is punishing us he put we think oh God is punishing us he put we think oh God is punishing us he put these white pajamas on us because we did these white pajamas on us because we did these white pajamas on us because we did something wrong because we can't see something wrong because we can't see something wrong because we can't see that God has a purpose that is so much that God has a purpose that is so much that God has a purpose that is so much bigger just like I couldn't see I

bigger just like I couldn't see I bigger just like I couldn't see I couldn't understand it I just had to couldn't understand it I just had to couldn't understand it I just had to trust my mom so in the same way we just trust my mom so in the same way we just trust my mom so in the same way we just have to trust God in our have to trust God in our have to trust God in our suffering it comes out of God's love for suffering it comes out of God's love for suffering it comes out of God's love for us now this idea of purpose was us now this idea of purpose was us now this idea of purpose was lifechanging for me after Paul died lifechanging for me after Paul died lifechanging for me after Paul died I remember hearing um someone speak I remember hearing um someone speak I remember hearing um someone speak about Charles Spurgeon who is a British about Charles Spurgeon who is a British about Charles Spurgeon who is a British Pastor it was British Pastor in the Pastor it was British Pastor in the Pastor it was British Pastor in the 1800s who dealt with depression his 1800s who dealt with depression his 1800s who dealt with depression his whole life and when he was 57 he was whole life and when he was 57 he was whole life and when he was 57 he was dying of um a kidney disease and gout dying of um a kidney disease and gout dying of um a kidney disease and gout and somebody said to him how can you and somebody said to him how can you and somebody said to him how can you stand this knowing that God has allowed stand this knowing that God has allowed stand this knowing that God has allowed this to happen and Spurgeon said this is this to happen and Spurgeon said this is this to happen and Spurgeon said this is my super loose paraphrase so you know um my super loose paraphrase so you know um my super loose paraphrase so you know um so don't write this down but he said um so don't write this down but he said um so don't write this down but he said um allowed it if I didn't think that God allowed it if I didn't think that God allowed it if I didn't think that God had caused it and measured it to the had caused it and measured it to the had caused it and measured it to the exact drop I wouldn't be able to stand exact drop I wouldn't be able to stand exact drop I wouldn't be able to stand it and hearing that changed me it and hearing that changed me it and hearing that changed me recognizing okay God has measured my recognizing okay God has measured my recognizing okay God has measured my suffering to the exact suffering to the exact suffering to the exact drop so I can rest in that and it drop so I can rest in that and it drop so I can rest in that and it changed my view of suffering that I changed my view of suffering that I changed my view of suffering that I could trust God even when I couldn't could trust God even when I couldn't could trust God even when I couldn't understand understand understand it and I it would be horrifying to me to it and I it would be horrifying to me to it and I it would be horrifying to me to think that my suffering didn't have

think that my suffering didn't have think that my suffering didn't have purpose that God had not measured my purpose that God had not measured my purpose that God had not measured my pain because knowing it's been measured pain because knowing it's been measured pain because knowing it's been measured that God has said you know this is how that God has said you know this is how that God has said you know this is how far the ocean can come and no far the ocean can come and no far the ocean can come and no farther I know that God is up to farther I know that God is up to farther I know that God is up to something wonderful in my life he's something wonderful in my life he's something wonderful in my life he's writing a good story and every detail is writing a good story and every detail is writing a good story and every detail is important and that has helped me endure important and that has helped me endure important and that has helped me endure what I'm going through right now just what I'm going through right now just what I'm going through right now just knowing god is in this my hope is not in knowing god is in this my hope is not in knowing god is in this my hope is not in changed changed changed circumstances my hope is in the God who circumstances my hope is in the God who circumstances my hope is in the God who loves me and wants to give me everything loves me and wants to give me everything loves me and wants to give me everything good as I said before in suffering we good as I said before in suffering we good as I said before in suffering we ask if God loves me why did this happen ask if God loves me why did this happen ask if God loves me why did this happen but when we know that God loves us and but when we know that God loves us and but when we know that God loves us and that God cares for us we can change that that God cares for us we can change that that God cares for us we can change that question to because God loves me why did question to because God loves me why did question to because God loves me why did this happened because God loves me why this happened because God loves me why this happened because God loves me why did this happen and that changes our did this happen and that changes our did this happen and that changes our perspective of our suffering because we perspective of our suffering because we perspective of our suffering because we are looking for God in it what God is are looking for God in it what God is are looking for God in it what God is doing what the purpose doing what the purpose doing what the purpose is this idea of purpose is threaded is this idea of purpose is threaded is this idea of purpose is threaded throughout the Bible and it's from it throughout the Bible and it's from it throughout the Bible and it's from it flows from the these three core flows from the these three core flows from the these three core attributes of attributes of attributes of God one that God is good and all of our God one that God is good and all of our God one that God is good and all of our life flows from the goodness of

life flows from the goodness of life flows from the goodness of God two that God is wise he knows the God two that God is wise he knows the God two that God is wise he knows the past the present and the future his past the present and the future his past the present and the future his thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts and three that God is Sovereign thoughts and three that God is Sovereign thoughts and three that God is Sovereign that God is all powerful and that not a that God is all powerful and that not a that God is all powerful and that not a sparrow falls to the ground apart from sparrow falls to the ground apart from sparrow falls to the ground apart from the father's the father's the father's will so the fact that God is good and will so the fact that God is good and will so the fact that God is good and loving that he knows the future and he loving that he knows the future and he loving that he knows the future and he controls everything means that he controls everything means that he controls everything means that he wouldn't let anything happen that wasn't wouldn't let anything happen that wasn't wouldn't let anything happen that wasn't for our for our for our best now Romans 8:28 assures us and we best now Romans 8:28 assures us and we best now Romans 8:28 assures us and we know that in all things God works for know that in all things God works for know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him who have the good for those who love him who have the good for those who love him who have been called according to his purpose been called according to his purpose been called according to his purpose now I love that scripture in my own life now I love that scripture in my own life now I love that scripture in my own life but I would encourage you do not quote but I would encourage you do not quote but I would encourage you do not quote that to someone else somebody told me at that to someone else somebody told me at that to someone else somebody told me at my son's funeral that was the first my son's funeral that was the first my son's funeral that was the first thing they said to me you're going to be thing they said to me you're going to be thing they said to me you're going to be fine God works all things for good for fine God works all things for good for fine God works all things for good for those who love him and that was a really those who love him and that was a really those who love him and that was a really harsh word so I'm just telling you all harsh word so I'm just telling you all harsh word so I'm just telling you all don't mention it at somebody's funeral don't mention it at somebody's funeral don't mention it at somebody's funeral um and yet um we know this is true but um and yet um we know this is true but um and yet um we know this is true but there but there's a mystery in suffering there but there's a mystery in suffering there but there's a mystery in suffering that none of us none of us really that none of us none of us really that none of us none of us really understand what God is doing we just understand what God is doing we just understand what God is doing we just don't know all that he's doing and he don't know all that he's doing and he don't know all that he's doing and he may be doing thousands of things that we may be doing thousands of things that we may be doing thousands of things that we don't know but there are a few things don't know but there are a few things don't know but there are a few things that we do know and one of the things

that we do know and one of the things that we do know and one of the things God does in suffering is he deepens our God does in suffering is he deepens our God does in suffering is he deepens our faith we know that God is real and faith we know that God is real and faith we know that God is real and personal and when we meet God in personal and when we meet God in personal and when we meet God in suffering our faith is not easily suffering our faith is not easily suffering our faith is not easily deconstructed the deepest most profound deconstructed the deepest most profound deconstructed the deepest most profound lasting things I have learned about God lasting things I have learned about God lasting things I have learned about God I learned in I learned in I learned in suffering suffering also prepares us for suffering suffering also prepares us for suffering suffering also prepares us for Ministry the hardest things in our life Ministry the hardest things in our life Ministry the hardest things in our life the very hardest things often become the the very hardest things often become the the very hardest things often become the basis for our ministry the Wilderness basis for our ministry the Wilderness basis for our ministry the Wilderness shapes us the unlike anything shapes us the unlike anything shapes us the unlike anything else suffering develops our character it else suffering develops our character it else suffering develops our character it softens us it makes us compassionate and softens us it makes us compassionate and softens us it makes us compassionate and wise helps us persevere we look more wise helps us persevere we look more wise helps us persevere we look more like like like Christ and suffering enables us to Christ and suffering enables us to Christ and suffering enables us to comfort others when we have been comfort others when we have been comfort others when we have been comforted by God we can Comfort others comforted by God we can Comfort others comforted by God we can Comfort others and there's something so comforting if and there's something so comforting if and there's something so comforting if you've been through something talking to you've been through something talking to you've been through something talking to somebody who's been through the same somebody who's been through the same somebody who's been through the same thing who says I get it I've been there thing who says I get it I've been there thing who says I get it I've been there and we get to do that if we've and we get to do that if we've and we get to do that if we've suffered so that is the second anchor suffered so that is the second anchor suffered so that is the second anchor that I cling to that our suffering has that I cling to that our suffering has that I cling to that our suffering has purpose our pain is not purpose our pain is not purpose our pain is not meaningless and the third and final meaningless and the third and final meaningless and the third and final anchor is the promise of heaven and I'm anchor is the promise of heaven and I'm anchor is the promise of heaven and I'm just going to mention it but I could just going to mention it but I could just going to mention it but I could spend hours on it but this life is a

spend hours on it but this life is a spend hours on it but this life is a small fraction of our existence it's 1 small fraction of our existence it's 1 small fraction of our existence it's 1 inch in a million inch in a million inch in a million miles heaven will be here for all of us miles heaven will be here for all of us miles heaven will be here for all of us before before before long our greatest joy in heaven will be long our greatest joy in heaven will be long our greatest joy in heaven will be seeing Jesus beholding him not seeing Jesus beholding him not seeing Jesus beholding him not encumbered by encumbered by encumbered by sin there's a beautiful picture in sin there's a beautiful picture in sin there's a beautiful picture in Revelation 21 where we dwell in God's Revelation 21 where we dwell in God's Revelation 21 where we dwell in God's presence there will be no mourning no presence there will be no mourning no presence there will be no mourning no crying no pain God will make everything crying no pain God will make everything crying no pain God will make everything new and anything wonderful we've new and anything wonderful we've new and anything wonderful we've experienced on Earth will be magnified a experienced on Earth will be magnified a experienced on Earth will be magnified a million times in heaven million times in heaven million times in heaven we'll have new bodies we'll have lives we'll have new bodies we'll have lives we'll have new bodies we'll have lives of Adventure and of Adventure and of Adventure and meaning heaven will be far better than meaning heaven will be far better than meaning heaven will be far better than anything we've experienced on anything we've experienced on anything we've experienced on Earth whatever we've suffered on Earth Earth whatever we've suffered on Earth Earth whatever we've suffered on Earth will melt into will melt into will melt into unending unending unending Joy Randy alorn says happily ever after Joy Randy alorn says happily ever after Joy Randy alorn says happily ever after is a Blood Bought promise for those of is a Blood Bought promise for those of is a Blood Bought promise for those of us in Christ happily ever after is a us in Christ happily ever after is a us in Christ happily ever after is a Blood Bought promise for those of us in Blood Bought promise for those of us in Blood Bought promise for those of us in Christ so even if your life has felt Christ so even if your life has felt Christ so even if your life has felt unendingly unendingly unendingly painful God has all of eternity to make painful God has all of eternity to make painful God has all of eternity to make up for it all of eternity to Lavish his

up for it all of eternity to Lavish his up for it all of eternity to Lavish his kindness on kindness on kindness on you you we none of us can imagine all you you we none of us can imagine all you you we none of us can imagine all that God has for those who love that God has for those who love that God has for those who love him but until then until God makes all him but until then until God makes all him but until then until God makes all things things things new we will live with suffering and new we will live with suffering and new we will live with suffering and pain and as I mentioned earlier what we pain and as I mentioned earlier what we pain and as I mentioned earlier what we tell ourselves about our suffering will tell ourselves about our suffering will tell ourselves about our suffering will shape our experience of shape our experience of shape our experience of it so what are you going to tell it so what are you going to tell it so what are you going to tell yourself about yourself about yourself about suffering are you going to tell yourself suffering are you going to tell yourself suffering are you going to tell yourself that God doesn't that God doesn't that God doesn't care that God has abandoned care that God has abandoned care that God has abandoned you that your life is hopeless or that you that your life is hopeless or that you that your life is hopeless or that your suffering is your suffering is your suffering is meaningless or will you remind yourself meaningless or will you remind yourself meaningless or will you remind yourself of the gospel and these three of the gospel and these three of the gospel and these three anchors one that we have the presence of anchors one that we have the presence of anchors one that we have the presence of God in God in God in suffering God will never leave us God suffering God will never leave us God suffering God will never leave us God loves us and he Delights in us and you loves us and he Delights in us and you loves us and he Delights in us and you have a unique o opportunity in suffering have a unique o opportunity in suffering have a unique o opportunity in suffering that you may not have any other time to that you may not have any other time to that you may not have any other time to know God and His know God and His know God and His goodness our suffering has a goodness our suffering has a goodness our suffering has a purpose it will be purpose it will be purpose it will be redeemed and it is not meaningless you redeemed and it is not meaningless you redeemed and it is not meaningless you may not understand what God is doing you may not understand what God is doing you may not understand what God is doing you most likely won't or can't but most likely won't or can't but most likely won't or can't but everything you go through is for your

everything you go through is for your everything you go through is for your joy and for God's glory god is writing a joy and for God's glory god is writing a joy and for God's glory god is writing a good story with your life good story with your life good story with your life and then the promise of heaven we have and then the promise of heaven we have and then the promise of heaven we have the promise of Heaven life is short hang the promise of Heaven life is short hang the promise of Heaven life is short hang on what's coming will make it all worth on what's coming will make it all worth on what's coming will make it all worth it well earlier in my talk I was telling it well earlier in my talk I was telling it well earlier in my talk I was telling you when I was 7 years old I said that you when I was 7 years old I said that you when I was 7 years old I said that God was not God was not God was not good but now decades later I can tell good but now decades later I can tell good but now decades later I can tell you from experience that God has not you from experience that God has not you from experience that God has not only been good only been good only been good he's been better than I he's been better than I he's been better than I imagined imagined imagined amen if this content has helped you amen if this content has helped you amen if this content has helped you consider donating today to help ensure consider donating today to help ensure consider donating today to help ensure that others have trusted timely gospel that others have trusted timely gospel that others have trusted timely gospel centered resources whether it's a centered resources whether it's a centered resources whether it's a one-time donation or becoming a monthly one-time donation or becoming a monthly one-time donation or becoming a monthly partner your generosity helps generate partner your generosity helps generate partner your generosity helps generate gospel centered resources to strengthen gospel centered resources to strengthen gospel centered resources to strengthen the faith of future Generations donate the faith of future Generations donate the faith of future Generations donate today at tgc.org or click the link below