Robby Hoffman on Her ‘Brutal’ Childhood

You grew up the seventh of 10 kids um in You grew up the seventh of 10 kids um in an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic family. an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic family. an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic family. You've described growing up in pretty You've described growing up in pretty You've described growing up in pretty brutal terms. brutal terms. brutal terms. What are your earliest memories of your What are your earliest memories of your What are your earliest memories of your life in Crown Heights? life in Crown Heights? life in Crown Heights? Really bad. Really bad. Really bad. I don't speak too much to this, but I I don't speak too much to this, but I I don't speak too much to this, but I can a little bit. can a little bit. can a little bit. Um Um Um I had, you know, memories. I was very I had, you know, memories. I was very I had, you know, memories. I was very afraid of my father. afraid of my father. afraid of my father. My my my my mother was uh my father was My my my my mother was uh my father was My my my my mother was uh my father was abusive um to my mother. Uh abusive um to my mother. Uh abusive um to my mother. Uh you know, I try speaking about this now, you know, I try speaking about this now, you know, I try speaking about this now, I try and give grace to. Not too much I try and give grace to. Not too much I try and give grace to. Not too much grace, but not grace, but not grace, but not you know, my parents were very young you know, my parents were very young you know, my parents were very young when they had us. when they had us. when they had us. You know, my father was 35 with 10 kids. You know, my father was 35 with 10 kids. You know, my father was 35 with 10 kids. My mother was 30 with 10 kids. So, they My mother was 30 with 10 kids. So, they My mother was 30 with 10 kids. So, they were under a lot of pressure and stress. were under a lot of pressure and stress. were under a lot of pressure and stress. I'm not excusing him, I'm not excusing him, I'm not excusing him, >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> [snorts] >> but I don't know that he had the proper >> but I don't know that he had the proper >> but I don't know that he had the proper resources to deal with anything. And I'm resources to deal with anything. And I'm resources to deal with anything. And I'm not sure how he was told to manage his not sure how he was told to manage his not sure how he was told to manage his family in in in in the systems that he family in in in in the systems that he family in in in in the systems that he was a part of, the religious systems.

was a part of, the religious systems. was a part of, the religious systems. Um so, that's that said, he was very Um so, that's that said, he was very Um so, that's that said, he was very abusive. And we kind of avoided him. abusive. And we kind of avoided him. abusive. And we kind of avoided him. >> What does that mean if I if you don't >> What does that mean if I if you don't >> What does that mean if I if you don't mind me asking? And you don't have to mind me asking? And you don't have to mind me asking? And you don't have to say anything. say anything. say anything. >> physically abusive to my mother for >> physically abusive to my mother for >> physically abusive to my mother for years. And so, I kind of always avoided years. And so, I kind of always avoided years. And so, I kind of always avoided him. Now, he would he was not physically him. Now, he would he was not physically him. Now, he would he was not physically abusive to us. And in fact, I remember abusive to us. And in fact, I remember abusive to us. And in fact, I remember some bad fights. He would speak to us some bad fights. He would speak to us some bad fights. He would speak to us after and say, "You know, but I would after and say, "You know, but I would after and say, "You know, but I would never hit you." But it's like, "But you never hit you." But it's like, "But you never hit you." But it's like, "But you hit Ma." hit Ma." hit Ma." It's like, "You hit Ma." I remember once It's like, "You hit Ma." I remember once It's like, "You hit Ma." I remember once walking to the kitchen. I was in five, walking to the kitchen. I was in five, walking to the kitchen. I was in five, six, I don't even know, young. I wanted six, I don't even know, young. I wanted six, I don't even know, young. I wanted orange juice or a snack. And I saw him orange juice or a snack. And I saw him orange juice or a snack. And I saw him sitting there. And I saw him, and I go, sitting there. And I saw him, and I go, sitting there. And I saw him, and I go, "Ooh, didn't see you there." And I you "Ooh, didn't see you there." And I you "Ooh, didn't see you there." And I you know, and I would walk away. Like, we know, and I would walk away. Like, we know, and I would walk away. Like, we didn't have that sort of a relationship. didn't have that sort of a relationship. didn't have that sort of a relationship. I saw him, and I'm like, "Oh, sorry, I I saw him, and I'm like, "Oh, sorry, I I saw him, and I'm like, "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. I'll come back." didn't see you there. I'll come back." didn't see you there. I'll come back." You know, so that was kind of a tiptoe-y You know, so that was kind of a tiptoe-y You know, so that was kind of a tiptoe-y time for sure. For my mother, time for sure. For my mother, time for sure. For my mother, she was starting to open up and say, she was starting to open up and say, she was starting to open up and say, "Is this what I want for my life? Is "Is this what I want for my life? Is "Is this what I want for my life? Is this what I want for my kids' life?" My this what I want for my kids' life?" My this what I want for my kids' life?" My brothers, for instance, were not brothers, for instance, were not brothers, for instance, were not learning English.

learning English. learning English. They were learning Yiddish, and they They were learning Yiddish, and they They were learning Yiddish, and they were learning the Bible, Torah, were learning the Bible, Torah, were learning the Bible, Torah, and they were not and they were not and they were not And my mother is And my mother is And my mother is uh uh uh uh uh uh proficient in English. My mother is potentially the the most well-read potentially the the most well-read person I've ever met my whole life. So, person I've ever met my whole life. So, person I've ever met my whole life. So, she had a big dissonance between her she had a big dissonance between her she had a big dissonance between her kids not being able to kids not being able to kids not being able to read the classics read the classics read the classics later on. later on. later on. So, there were things like that that my So, there were things like that that my So, there were things like that that my mother has shared later that led her to mother has shared later that led her to mother has shared later that led her to be like, "I don't want my kids living be like, "I don't want my kids living be like, "I don't want my kids living like this." Beyond her own abuse and like this." Beyond her own abuse and like this." Beyond her own abuse and what she was facing, she was thinking what she was facing, she was thinking what she was facing, she was thinking about "What kind of people are we going about "What kind of people are we going about "What kind of people are we going to be?"