What Happened to the Woman Who Dated Heather Turner's Widower After Her Death?

Hi, crime junkies. I have an important conversation that I want you to hear. And the message might not be for you, but statistically it will be for someone you know. In our most recent episode on Heather Turner, we talked about a woman who claimed she had been in an abusive relationship with Heather's husband after her death. Her name is Christy Chup. Now, how her story relates to the case is in the episode, but the conversation we had during our reporting was so enlightening that on the heels of DV awareness month, I felt compelled to share some of that conversation with the masses, with her permission, of course. Now, we included some of the highlights at the end of our episode, but I wanted to offer up even more of this extended interview with minor edits for you to hear because I believe what she has to say, the perspective that she has could save someone out there listening right now. Even if it's not you, it might be someone you love. And what Christie has to share is raw. It is honest. So, please listen with care.

So Christy, thank you so much for letting us share your story, for coming on and letting so many people hear your story. We've we've talked about so many cases similar to this one in our eight and a half years. And I've talked to experts in domestic violence. We've talked to survivors. We've talked to family members of of loved ones that they've lost. And I'm always trying to find a new way to reach someone cuz every time we do an episode, it never fails. we will get flooded with emails of people who recognize themselves in that situation and sometimes you need the perspective of hearing someone else go through it. Like you're not the only one. So I'm just grateful that like you're willing to put yourself out there cuz I I know that that's not easy. Like it's we we talked a little bit before this there's a lot of shame for some reason that people feel like you are not to blame in a situation like that. So I like I want to get into all of that. Like what's the basis for that? Like in for your personal experience?

>> Well, in my case, there was a lot of just nasty really just gross um things asked of me. Uh I was asked to hold a deceased woman's ashes during intimacy. >> And when that got broadcasted on the news, I was like, people know me. And now they're going to know these horrendous things um that that I stayed like somebody could say something so terrible and that I stayed with it. And I just didn't want that image of like ew like she like she went along with this like she's just as sick as he is obviously if she stayed with that. When when I was in it I I'd never heard the word domestic violence. like I didn't understand what I was going through. And um I was talking about it the other day, like if social media had been a thing back then and I would have heard somebody else talk about what I was experiencing, I think that could have helped me out a lot because I didn't I didn't even understand that I was like I knew that there was hitting. I knew that there was like pulling hair, spitting in my face. I mean, there was a lot of assaults through it, but then there was so much good that I just thought like maybe this is how relationships work because I don't know if you know a lot about my childhood, but I grew up in that kind of dynamic.

>> That's what I was going to say is is I know we talked about you in relation to Andy in this episode, but your history with abuse goes far beyond him. Like you've had other abusive relationships and you mentioned since childhood. So, just for clarity for people, I mean, your experience that we're talking about today is not isolated to that this one relationship. And I I'm just I'm really grateful that you're willing to be this candid. I mean, one of the things I say is I think anyone is susceptible. I think this idea that there is a a victim and and not a victim is wrong. And that is true. I remember uh going to the police. I I'd already went back like five or six times, but I was trying to get away again and I was just so embarrassed to the I was telling the officer like I'm so embarrassed. Like I keep going back to this. I was like and I told him I was like I'm so dumb. He said he said I know women in the police wars. I know people that's been lawyers and have seen this happen and still got sucked into that domestic violence cycle. So there is no thing as a a painted picture of a victim. It could happen to the the the smartest woman in the world because I mean everybody wants to be loved. But with my childhood, I don't think it was so much that because when I grew up and like my dad went to prison, all those things, I kind of pushed all that to the back of my

head. But what I should have seen as a really big red flag in the beginning was that Andy wanted to know everything about me. Like he said it was because I was going to be around his children. He was very protective of his of his children. So he wanted to know like everything. And so I I spewed my whole life story. And that is such a no no because then he took those things and throughout our entire relationship he used well you never had a father growing up. You never had a dad to show you what love looks like. So now I'm teach I'm trying to teach you what love looks like. Your father should have been there to teach you that. And he would just use like he wanted all this information. And throughout our entire relationship, all that information ended up being used like backfired and just used against me. >> Wow. >> Because it wasn't I wasn't like I said, I didn't even know about He told me that his wife passed away. He didn't tell me how when like he like I didn't ask him any questions really cuz I wasn't that kind of person. I I mean I was I just told I told him my whole life about like my prior relationships and how they were kind of abusive and and then he he used those against me. He was like, "Well, I'm going to show you what real love looks like." And >> um yeah, it was so quick and I fell for it.

>> The good cuz you're like what what keeps you there? or what kept you there was this balance between yes this is the the things some things are awful but some things are so good like what is it what did it look like when it was so good for you guys >> for me I felt like I had never been in love the way that I loved him and it was a point where I felt like I would do anything in the world for him because I think as a child and never having parents and searching not knowing that I was searching But for someone to to really feel like somebody loved me uh was a really big thing. And there was just moments of where like um he would lay his head on my chest and just tell me how he's never felt anything like that before. Uh little things like touching his face. He's like, "I've never let anybody touch my face. Like you're the first person I ever let do that." um would compare me to his deceased wife and was like like I I'm scared because I feel like I love you more than I ever loved her and she was the love of my life. So those things just filled me up so much that I I truly felt like I had never found that kind of love before in my life. And that was that was the part that was so hard to let go. I knew that I wanted away from the abuse and I knew that he was hurting me, but I couldn't let go of the good

side because it was just I mean it was just the most fulfilled I've ever felt in my life. >> Did you ever talk about what you were going through to anyone in your life or did you keep it a secret? >> So, I did not. And that's another thing that I just didn't realize was happening. He pushed everybody in my life away from me. Like he told me that my sister only was only around me, only cared about me because I babysat a lot for her u for her to be able to work and I enjoyed doing that cuz I was a really big family person. Um kids in my life have always meant so much to me because I never got that as a child. So I always want to just make I've always wanted to make an impression with the the kids in my life. So he for some reason I listened to that. It it really just got in my head. I was like, "Well, I do babysit a lot." Like she does ask me a lot to babysit maybe. So she ended up leaving my life completely. And it was just that even before that, every time I was around them, they're like, "He's all you talk about. like we don't we can't have any conversations with you because you're either on your phone constantly.

Like you never look up from your phone. You're on the phone with him or you're talking about him. Um so that really took a toll on my family before it actually tore us apart. And I didn't have that many people in my life as it was. And I think that was a bonus for him because that was less people that he had to push out of my life. Because if you have a father, you have a mother, you have all these people who have spent their life protecting you, that's a lot harder to do. But when you don't have those people, um it's a lot easier to isolate somebody. I ended up moving in with him >> and he didn't want me working anymore. So then I was really stuck. I had no job. I had no car. I didn't even have my children. Um, so I had nobody until the point the abuse got uh pretty bad and I ended up making a Facebook post about it and a um a lady her name's Mary she reached out to me was offering like could she help me any what could she do to help me to keep me safe and from then on she was just my person every time he hit me he hurt me she was the person that I called. And that was that was so impactful for me, I think, because it wasn't family who was judging me. This was somebody on the outside just looking in and like listening to me. And she'd sit there for hours and hours on end just listening

like, "I understand." And she uh every time I'd go back, she's like, "It's okay. I I understand you went back. I mean, you love him and that I mean it it's okay to love him." Um, so yeah, I I had that one person in the end and I really owe the woman my life. Literally, I owe I owe her my life. Um, and I still talk to her. Um, talk to her all the time today. And that's why I choose to share my story now because um if I can just be that person that she was for me to save another person um and help them get out because um I know how hard it is and so now I choose to share [snorts] my story so that maybe I can make a difference in somebody else's life. is there I've so I've been the family member, the loved one, the friend on the other side of this who who is seeing it, who's hearing it, who's trying to help the person I love. If somebody listening right now isn't isn't in the relationship but knows someone who is. What is the best thing from your perspective? What could have someone have done for you that would have changed your perspective? Made you feel like you could go back to them when you were ready?

>> I think with my family it was that they always had something to say. Um, and it was judgmental um and and what they seen I didn't see. Uh even my very best friend had picked me up one day because he had um gotten very abusive and it was in the middle of winter. There was inches of snow on the ground and I just sat on the curb outside waiting for her to come pick me up. And she was like, "He's brainwashing you. Like how do you not see this?" And I was like, "No, it's not as bad." And so it was people pointing things out to me that I didn't understand that I wasn't seeing. And I I think that just really put a bigger barrier if if anything. I feel like they could have been there um and just kind of just stayed in the background to let me know that they were still there when I was ready. Um instead of trying to force it on me to see those things.

>> And I think maybe if they would have if they would have just said, "Hey, me and this me and my partner's having this problem." It kind of just reiterate a story, retell a story that maybe I told them and I would have probably looked at that like like you shouldn't let him do that. >> And I think maybe after time and time and time again, maybe that would have sunk in for me. I don't know because it didn't happen that way. Um, but I do know like just having somebody that kind of understood made such a such a big difference for me >> that wasn't judgmental. Like when I went back, she's like, "It's it's okay." Like, you love him. Like, that's what you do with people that you love. You you you go back to them. >> As abuse would get worse in a relationship, what is the story you tell yourself to go back? Well, my situation was a lot different because he had a wife that had passed away um not long before I met him and he used grieving a lot um and and that I think that's so prevalent in domestic violence. see addiction, all these different scenarios that abusers will play to make that the problem when there there's no amount of grieving that should cause somebody to

lay their hands on on on another woman. Um, so it would be things like that, like I'm just grieving and I don't I I don't know how to take it and like you're you're all I have and I'm lashing out at you. And it was apologies like that over and over again. I knew after like he would hurt me that bad that we was actually going to have a good period, like things would be good because he felt bad. Um, and it was always the moments after the abuse that felt the best. Um, I guess because he was breaking me every time. >> And then just having that person who understands like how hurt you are and who understands how hurt you are than the person that hurt you. Um, and it was just every time I just told myself like when we get through this, I mean, it's going to be really good. It's going to be really good for um for a long time.

>> When did when was the point where you were like I where you finally the veil was lifted and you saw what was happening? Um, so I was sexually assaulted by him and it last all night and um that's the only time he actually put marks on me like a black eyes, I had bite marks, um busted lip and um that next morning he he came and got my children. He's like, "I'm going to take them for breakfast. Is that okay?" And then for some reason I'm like, "Okay, maybe things are about to change." But they just that night it just it replayed and replayed and replayed. It was I mean I know I had a terrible childhood, but it was literally the worst night of my life. And that was just something I could not get over. And so I did end up going to the police about it. And um I wanted a restraining order. I wanted away from him.

But unfortunately, the day of our restraining order, I found out I was pregnant by him and I was losing the baby and was isolated. I still didn't have my family back. I didn't have like my sisters or anything like that. So, I had nobody to talk to about it. So, I did end up going back after that. But, that's when the veil really lifted and I was um I was like, "This is never going to change. I could not allow myself to be hurt like that again." And and plus I had somebody on the outside that was finally like showing me like pay attention to this. Pay attention to how you feel. Like start listening to yourself more. And I did. I really started listening to myself more. And I was like this is this is going to be my life if I don't if I don't if I don't get away. And it was the hardest thing. I didn't want to get away. I honestly I did, but I I really still didn't. It is it's really such a hard thing to explain. Um >> I was gonna say, can you explain that because I don't know that people understand that feeling.

>> There were many times I wanted to just call him. I wanted to text him. I I was I was like, do I still love this man? And I feel like that's a because I had never experience what I felt in the good times was such great love >> that I feel like that will always like it it it'll never go away. But I have to remind myself of like how terrible the bad times were and that if if I was to reach out to him, I would have I'd have fell right back into it. Um, so I have to be really cautious with those things. Um, because even today, I feel like if I was in a room with him, I I was so manipulated. He just has the gift of manipulation and charm. And um I'd be so afraid that he would get back into my head the way that he that he did. Um and I think that's like I think that's a really powerful thing to say and so real because I I think a lot of people assume once someone has like left for good that they see it for what it is that they would never go back that if they that they hate that person. And I think it's kind of such an important message this realization that you've had that you're like there is this I can't whatever it is I can't explain it this power that he tries to have over you but you are strong enough to have more power

over yourself to stay away but I had to teach I think in that relationship and just the way that I grew up I never was able to form an identity so my identity became all about him like that relationship. It was uh always having to touch him, rub his arm, uh tickle his back. I would stay up all night just to tickle his back. I would hold my own arm up because it would get so tired just to let him know that I was still there. And a lot of times he would make sure he was like, "Why'd you stop?" I'm like, "Well, that was I've been doing this for 3 hours. Like I figured you'd be asleep by now." But my my entire life just revolved around him. So he really did become my identity. So when I left I was like who am I? Like I have nothing. I mean I don't know what to do in my life now. Like this was he was just everything in my life and now that's gone. What am I supposed to do now? And I think it uh it really took years of like learning who I was. I went to college, graduated college. um just selflove. I think in that relationship I depended so much on his validation and him saying like I' I've never had somebody like as good as you. Like you're you're great. You're so beautiful. And and that's how I was able to love myself by knowing that I was doing something like making somebody

else feel so great. >> Um I've always been a people pleaser. So, uh, just leaving and not having that anymore. Um, and it it took me years of like now I love myself. Like now I can't tell you how good it feels. I I don't have to worry about like what's going to happen today or sitting in my bathroom floor like asking God to give me a sign like is he more dangerous than all these really bad things, these very abusive moments like can he do something worse to me? And I don't think it was me asking. Actually, I was asking his deceased wife. I wasn't asking God. I mean, she was she was deceased. I was like, "Can you please give me a sign?" And I don't think it was necessarily me asking her. That was me asking myself because I I I knew that he was abusive. So, that was my own intuition saying, "Hey, you see how abusive he is? Like, how bad do you think that's is actually going to get before you actually leave?"

And I wish I would have listened to myself a lot more. I always been like the life of the party, family gettogethers, like just the happiest person then, but all of a sudden it was just like I was just sad all the time. I just I felt like I did more crying than really anything else. And um that was uh just really the lowest like not knowing who I was without him was the lowest point of my life to the point where I took a weapon and wanted to take my own life because I just it was that hard to get away. Um cuz I felt like I was losing everything. As much as I didn't want this abuse and as much as I was like, "Well, m what if the next girl, like what if he changes for the next girl?" But what I should have been telling myself is like, it doesn't matter if he changes. That doesn't make it okay for the way that he's treating you right now. Um, and nobody should have to stay cuz they're afraid that somebody else is going to get better. That doesn't make it okay that they treat you bad. Um, so it was just a lot of self-learn, loving, um, telling myself I didn't deserve that.

And I can tell you today there I I know my worth so much that I would never allow a man to even raise his voice at me because I know I'm so deserving of that. >> Was there one particular thing that helped you or was was time the only thing that heals? Like what was that process like? >> Uh, time. Um, >> I can tell you for the year after that, I stayed in such a depressed state. Sort of drinking. The only way I could make myself go to sleep was to be able to have a couple drinks at night. Um, a lot of talking on on the phone with my advocate. Um, hours and hours a night. She just she just listened to me cry. I I mean, because I wasn't just leaving him behind. I was leaving children behind that I have built these bonds with. these connections. When you're leaving that kind when you're leaving a relationship, you're not just leaving one person. You're leaving a lot of time a family. So, it it was um my heart wasn't just breaking for myself. It was breaking for these these kids that I mean had looked up to me and like had been such a big part of their life. But also things just really started like clicking too. like I I started just like watching more videos and that's what I actually learned about domestic violence and um heard these terms I'd never heard before and I was like that sounds exactly what I was going through like

just the manipulation, the gaslighting. Um never heard of those words and you could say I lived under a rock. I really did because I'd lived in survival mode pretty much up until I met him. So, um just everything the more it clicked and the more I listen to other people um I'd hear a word and then I'd go look up that word and then I would just research on it and and things I'm like wow like that really wasn't love on his end. That was just like he had me there for a purpose. He wanted to use me. Um, I I say Mary saved my life, but I also saved my own life by really um taking the time to put together what I'd actually been through. So, I don't carry as much as the shame, the guilt. Because once I started learning all those things, at first I was like, I don't want I don't want to tell my story. they wanted to air it on the news and they did even though I asked them not to because I was so embarrassed about the things that I had told them that had happened to me. I was like I don't want that face like I don't want people to look at me like a victim but I was a victim and and I got through that and I and I mean today I'm a survivor of domestic violence.

>> When was that when was that switch for you and how did you make that switch between being ashamed and finally realizing you shouldn't be the one to hold that? I think today I think I still carry a little bit of it. I think it's something hard to I mean maybe with therapy things like that um to get rid of all of it cuz when you look back and you look at how terrible you were treated and you're like you like you allowed somebody to do this to you. some of that will still be there, but I didn't know what was happening to me and how can I blame myself for something I didn't understand at the time. >> So, I think by being able to understand it now, I didn't do this to myself. I didn't walk into that relationship saying, "Hey, I want you to I want you to abuse me. I want you to mistreat me." I I mean, I I'd have never wanted that.

Um, and had I known on day one that that's what it would turn into, I I'm sure I would have walked I know I would have walked the other way. I went through it as a child as the last thing I wanted to happen to me again. Um, so I think just like really realizing that I didn't choose it and he chose to do this to me. um just really really helped me get rid of some of that that shame and embarrassment and um cuz people are always going to have something to say like you really went back to that like how did you not see that? But I I tell people like you you'll never understand it unless you really truly lived it and I don't want anybody to ever have to live that or experience that to understand it. That's the sad thing is that people still stigmatize like women going back to abusers. It's not something I want anybody to experience. But if everybody had that experience, then we would have less uh negative comments towards >> judgement >> domestic violence. Yeah. I hate that. I hate that people just don't understand it because we don't either. When we're in it, we don't understand it either.

Looking back with the clarity that you have now, were there any any other red flags that like early on before things got bad that you're like, "Oh man, if I could tell someone to pay attention to that now, if you're always having to defend somebody, I mean, it was me constantly defending him to my family. If you're if you're constantly have to take up for somebody and and it it's not even just about the yelling. could be like you're on your phone 24/7, like you [clears throat] never look up from your phone. Nobody should be taking that amount of time from somebody, especially when it's still so new. If somebody's trying to take that much of time, like they're already trying to become like everything. Like they don't they don't want you doing anything else. They don't want you talking to anybody else. Um, it was always wanting to know where I was, when I was going to be there, having my location on before we ever really even got into a serious relationship. And it wasn't that. He made it so just nonchalant like you don't have to turn it on. It is for your safety. I want to know that you're safe cuz you mean a lot to me. Um, it was really rushing into things saying that I love you in a month like I love you so much. Um, it was me just always constantly running because I dropped everything just to just to go be there for him and and it

was like that constantly and I didn't see I thought I want to see him. I love him. Like it'll be 2 seconds. Um, but I didn't notice that there was all these little things that he was doing to make sure that he got in the way of me having any kind of life outside of him. um until my life really literally revolved around him. >> It's almost like you're in this bubble. This is what I've seen over and over. Like if you get outside of it, you see other relationships, you start having other conversations, you have more of an opportunity to see what is right, what is wrong, what is normal, what is abnormal. And I do think that when people are really good manipulators, what they're good at is making sure your reality is the only reality that you know. And so you don't know like there is nothing different. There is nothing better. This just to your point like I thought this is what love is. So I think that that that early sign of when you're talking about constantly being on your phone, not not wanting you to have time with like long periods of time with other people is is a very interesting point. Yeah. And and and I didn't see it that way because I loved having his attention. Like if I'm texting him, that means I have his attention. So, it felt good to have somebody's attention like that that wanted to be all about you.

Like just wanted all of your time, but um that that right there was a really big red flag that I missed. Like nobody should be taking that much of your time. and being in this and other relationships. I mean for years, one of the really interesting things that that I you were open about that if you are comfortable I would love to talk about is how that kind of trained your brain for future relationships. >> Yes. Um sorry I got a little teary on that last one. Um so because I was so used to chaos and the abuse and just my life just being a constant just fight, flight, free breeze, fawn. Um, when something finally felt normal to me, it felt so normal. Like somebody being nice to me just gave me like the worst ick. I'm like, you're so needy.

You're so touchy. Um, so I became the one that would do something just because I knew it was going to start an argument. Like I just wanted a reaction out of this person. And I I I can say that I became the domestic abuser, not physically, but I did become just that verbal um just always wanting to start a fight. um just doing stuff just to make him mad on purpose because when I mean when it's normal and it's loving and it's like there's never any like fights like how boring is that? So I did I became the person who was just so like just mean like and telling that person we're going to do things my way and I became like the power dynamic in relationships like everything had to be my way was going to do it my way. I think a lot of that was protecting myself too. >> You like swing to the other side of the pendulum. You're like I had no power before so now I'm a mixture of all of it.

>> Yes. Um, I I think it was a mixture of both because like having the power and like like always I just I became a bad person unknowingly like I didn't want to be that person. I've never like I never want to hurt anybody. Um, but because I was still so stuck in that trauma like cycle. Um, and I didn't see that there was still so much trauma and hurt and I was still so wounded that I was taking it out on other people in relationships and like I found myself not being able to not be in a relationship. I had to be in a relationship. Like I I still needed that validation. All these things like I could not sit by myself cuz my whole life had been just so chaotic. And so when I sat by myself and it was quiet, it just like it it it just just the most uneasy feeling. So I had to be in relationships and I had to keep just my mind constantly going. I I I needed I needed those fights to feel uh a little bit normal. Um so it was really hard when I dated an actual good guy. I think that's really confusing for people on the outside, but like what you're describing, I have I have seen the exact thing because you're I I think anyone would say they want a good guy and then someone else comes along and

you're it's literally like your nervous system isn't prepared for that to your point of like the adrenaline rush from having to defend yourself, the serotonin when things are so high. I mean, every feeling is a big feeling and to h like stability in real life aren't these massive highs and massive lows. There's highs and lows but is it's a little more even and I think if for someone who's not used to that and still is in like you're saying a trauma state, I think that can feel so disorienting. [clears throat] And my best advice is just take time to heal. I know it's so hard and and I don't know if I'd have even took my own advice back then, but these last two years I've actually I' I've stayed completely single like celibate. Don't I mean I don't talk to any guys because I know that if I would have gotten into another relationship, I would have kept that trauma cycle going. like I would have still continued to look for that because I'd still even up to two years ago, I still didn't realize just how wounded and how I'd never first of all healed from my childhood. Uh second of all, all the trauma that came after that. So, I had so much healing to do before I could go into another relationship and expect something normal or feel like I'm okay with something

normal. I I have to learn how to sit here and things be quiet and not chaotic. And so being alone has been the the best thing I could have done for myself. >> And you speaking of good things that you've done for yourself. So you went back to school like you've really taken time to focus on you and and invest into you instead of pouring into other people. And I want people to hear that part of the story too. >> Yeah. So actually that domestic violence relationship is what sparked me going to school cuz I was like I don't want this to happen to anybody else. Like I like I want to help people who are going through this. So I went to college and recently graduated with my criminal justice degree and I am continuing Thank you so much. I am continuing my education and um I just really hope to advocate for other people in my future. I I hope to find a career where I can really make an impact in somebody's life like I told you like Mary made in mine.

And um I feel like not like having those experiences and then having education behind it is where I can really truly make a difference. Um I actually went to be a registered nurse in the beginning and I got right there at nursing school. I finished my prerex and everything and I'm like, it's not what I'm supposed to do. Like I'm not supposed to just bandage people up and send them home. Like I'm really like what happened to me. I can't let it just happened to me for no reason and let it just leave it at that. Like let what happened to me mean something and turn something really bad into something good. And so that's what I did. I decided I was going to go to college and um go into criminal justice to um help others who have been in similar situations. >> Well, I have no doubt you're going to and even just sharing your story today, I think you're going to be a lot of people's Mary. I do want to give you the chance like if for for the person who's hearing this who is where you were years ago and maybe can't hear the people who are around them.

What would be the one thing you want to say to them? hear yourself because yourself will always tell you. I can't tell you how many times. And sometimes it sometimes it'll feel like maybe a prayer or um you asking a question, you reaching out to a friend and being like, "Hey, so what would you think about like if something like this happened?" That's not that's not you really wanting advice. That's you giving yourself your own advice and that's your own intuition telling you like, hey, something's wrong here. Like, let's pay closer attention to this. Because so many times I didn't listen to myself and I can't tell you how many times that instinct came up like, hey, something's wrong here. Um, that and um like have somebody have have somebody that you can trust that's not going to be judgmental. uh if it's uh making a friend on domestic violence hotline. I mean, my inbox is always open. I I I don't ever mind being a listening ear because I know how much a stranger did that for me and spent I can't tell you how many hours of her days um just being on the other end of a line that truly truly made an impact in me being able to finally walk away and leave. So, just having that person that you can talk to that doesn't mind staying on the phone with you um and and tell you that it's I mean they understand everything that you feel like don't beat yourself up for loving them

because we don't we don't always get to choose who we love. Um and I mean that part of you that loved them, you did you did and that's okay to feel that love. Um but you you um got to see the bad parts too. It's okay to love somebody and understand that they're not treating you okay and that you don't deserve that. Um, and that's something I see today. I'm like, I know that the love that part that I had was real. Um, but I also know that the abuse was real, too. And at the end of the day, like choose yourself. You have an entire life to live. Like if you if you don't choose yourself, um, you may not get the rest of that life to live. Thankfully, I was one that actually got away, but there's so many who don't. >> Well, thank you, Christie. I really appreciate it. Was there anything that we didn't get to talk about that you felt like you really wanted to touch on?

>> Uh, I don't think so. I I just I really appreciate this opportunity to um help maybe somebody who doesn't understand what they're going through right now because I know how much it would have like helped me to understand what I was going through. um in a really hard time where I didn't understand. So, I appreciate you having me here today. >> Of course. I thank you so much. This is I know how vulnerable this has to feel, but I I'm telling you, I I know in my soul that this is going to reach the right person. >> Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Ashley. >> Now, when we reached out to Andy Turner for comment about our episode on Heather Turner, he didn't want to participate and directed us to the sheriff's office. But when we reached out to him about this interview with Christy Chup, he sent us a statement saying in part, quote, "Christy is an admitted perjurer. She uses our family tragedy as a pedestal to gain attention." He also wrote, quote, "Pause and think. If 1% of any of these things were true, I'd be you a jail." End quote. I think he means under or in jail. For anyone who may be trying to leave an abusive situation and needs [music] help immediately, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline by texting start to 888788. [music] And for legal information pertaining to your state, reach out to women's law.org [music]

for information on protective orders, custody, housing protections, and more. And if you or anyone you know is [music] thinking about suicide, please be aware that emotional support can be reached by calling or texting the suicide crisis lifeline at 988. Crime Junkie is an audiochuck production. I think [music] Chuck would approve.